


Reason

by serenity-touched (serenitytouched)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Community: kakasaku, Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2017-11-06 07:28:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 49
Words: 267,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenitytouched/pseuds/serenity-touched
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura has just started her new life in college. Of all the places... why is her ex-teacher sitting next to her in class? KakaSaku. Modern day AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm new to A03, so I'm fumbling around a bit. I'm coming from FF.net, so you can find all of my original and current postings from there which I'm slowly migrating to here as well.
> 
> This fic is a lot like first story for me in a lot of ways. So, I appreicate any helpful reviews, etc. So far there's 37 chapters written, a lot of which I think could be improved from the beginning, but I'm going to post what's been originally written so far.
> 
> This is a Kakashi/Sakura pairing. Rated for future chapters. Warning for lemons/graphic content. Warning for strong language. I do not put notices on top of chapters if there's lemon content. To me it kind of ruins the surprise/read. So, I'm only mentioning this once.
> 
> My grammar isn't the greatest, but I've finally been urged enough (after several chapters completed in this story) to kidnap someone to beta for me. Edited chapters will be marked. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Chapter edited by: CelestialCircumference

**Chapter 1: Arrival**

Haruno Sakura sighed and tucked a fallen strand of pink hair back behind her ear as she gave one final look over the empty room. Unsettled dust drifted slowly in the morning's light that was slowly beginning to warm the house. It was strange seeing her room so bare. All that was left were a few old childhood items: a twin bed and a couple of furniture pieces that were too big to bring along with her. Graduating from high school about two months ago, she was ready to begin her life as a college student and, much to her mother's dismay, start her journey into living an independent life of her own. She was nervous about leaving this town she had grown to love, but excited about all the new possibilities of her future.

Most of her items were packed and already sent off to the student apartment she was going to be living at with her best friend Yamanaka Ino. They had quite a struggle with their friendship in middle and early high school over a boy they both had a crush on named Uchiha Sasuke. In the end, he never chose either of them, which was probably for the better. After finally letting him go, she tried her best to move on with her heart. It had been a few years since then, but she finally felt the longing ache from her chest lift slowly over time. If anything, she liked to think that Sasuke, and the few short lived relationships that she had in high school, were just learning experiences to what she would like to find in a future relationship.

Looking back on it now, she realized how silly it was to almost lose her friendship over a guy. At least college would be sort of like a fresh start for her and Ino's friendship in a way. She hoped to make the best of it.

"Sakura, the cab is here for you honey!" her mother yelled from the stairs below.

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts.

"Coming!" she called back.

She wasn't sure when she'd be back home again. Taking in one final look over her room, she made her way downstairs with a few bags in hand. At the end of the staircase her mother gave her a quick hug.

"I'm very proud of you," her mother said with a soft smile. She almost looked like she was about to cry.

"Don't get all weepy, mother. I'm going to be fine!" Sakura said with a frown.

"I know," she replied with a sigh. "For heaven's sake, call me when you get there. Are you sure you have everything? It's still raining a lot lately; you have your umbrella with you? Did you pack enough underwear and socks?"

"Mom!" Sakura's eyebrow began to twitch. "I've got everything, so don't worry. I'm eighteen now, you know. Don't worry so much!"

With another quick hug, she made her way outside the front door. After having her bags placed into the trunk of the cab, she turned to give a quick wave goodbye.

_'Finally!'_ she thought to herself as she got into the car. After giving directions to the train station that was about thirty minutes away, she pulled out her cell phone. Using the touch screen to quickly find Ino's number, she sent a text saying she was on her way. It would be about a six hour trip in total. Hopefully she wouldn't go too crazy from boredom. She wasn't sure how she'd manage without her phone to entertain her.

* * *

A couple of train rides later she was finally in Tokyo. She had visited the city a few times growing up, usually to check out the shopping districts, but still felt overwhelmed with how many people there were. It really gave you a perspective of just how small you are in a big world.

Dragging her suitcases out from the cab, she paid the driver and made her way up the steps of her new apartment building. They really lucked out; their apartment was on the first floor, though hopefully their neighbors upstairs don't stomp around like elephants. It will be worth not having to climb stairs after a tiring day of walking across the large campus.

Unlocking the door, she pulled her baggage inside and placed them above the ledge before the genkan entryway. Discarding her shoes, she walked into the living room finding it dark and quiet. After turning on a lamp, she stretched her arms and took in a long inhale. It smelled like fresh paint. Sakura glanced around the room for a moment. It didn't look like Ino had arrived yet.

The apartment that they got was a pretty decent size. It was a bit expensive, but had all the necessities and privacy they needed. There were two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a living room with a small balcony that was accessible from it. Looking around the main room, it had already been furnished with a nice small couch, lamps, and a TV set. In the kitchen area there was a double burner stove, small sink, and a refrigerator. It was nice moving into a place that had basic furniture. Just was a small perk for leasing with the university apartments.

After a moment she went to check out both bedrooms; there wasn't much of a difference. Sakura randomly decided to take the one she was standing in now. After taking her bags into the room, she laid down on the single bed. Closing her eyes, she relaxed.

**-knock knock knock-**

Sakura's eyes shot open in surprise, forgetting for a moment where she was. Her eyelids felt heavy. Did she fall asleep? Noticing the orange light bathing the side of the wall as shadows of trees danced across her room, she realized the sun was setting.

"Sakuraaa… Wakey, wakey!"

Sakura sat up on her elbows to see Ino standing in the doorway.

"Eh-heh, I guess I fell asleep…" Sakura said sheepishly.

Ino smiled. "When I got here you didn't wake up from all the noise I made, so I let you sleep. You looked really tired. So I went ahead and got settled in. Hope you don't mind I didn't wake you until now. I just finished making some quick instant soups for us."

"Ah, thanks Ino, you didn't have to do that."

"It's no problem!"

Ino left her room making her way to the kitchen. Sakura suddenly remembered she didn't let her mother know she made it okay.

_'I'm guessing she called 5 billion times already,'_ she thought to herself dully while sighing aloud.

Sliding off the bed, she opened her purse she left by her bags and took out her phone.

_'8 Missed Calls.'_

She didn't want to hear her mother's nagging if she called her back right now, so she sent a text saying that had fallen asleep and that she was alright. Turning off her phone, she left it at that.

Making her way to the kitchen, Ino handed her a bowl of ramen and a pair of chopsticks.

"Is it sad that every time I see ramen I think of Naruto?" Sakura sighed.

Ino chuckled. "Well, unfortunately it's cheap food for starving new college students like us. How's he been anyway? I haven't seen him since graduation."

Over the years, Sakura had become good friends with Uzumaki Naruto in high school. He'd always seemed to look out for her and was a decent guy all around, though sometimes a bit too loud and impulsive, but he always meant well. They went out on a few dates together, much to his persistence, but overall Sakura decided they were better off as friends.

"Well, he's coming to the same college as us actually."

Ino sputtered the ramen that was in her mouth.

"I didn't think he could even get _IN_ college," she mumbled, remembering all too well how much he slacked off in classes and the pranks he did in middle school giving everyone grief. It wasn't until about sophomore year of high school did he actually start to put in some effort in actually paying attention in class and doing homework.

"Athletic scholarship," Sakura simply replied with a small smile.

"I wonder who all else came to Tokyo, too?" Ino asked as she slurped the rest of her noodles.

"Not sure, though I know a few people I was friends with went to school overseas. I'm a bit jealous of them…but I don't know how I'd fare being so far away. I feel so lost here as it is."

"It's so expensive going to school overseas, too," Ino added.

"Speaking of expensive, I really need to get a job ASAP," Sakura said worriedly.

"Whatever job you find, don't work too much. So many college men. So little time," Ino said with a devious smirk.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "That's really the farthest thing on my mind right now."

"Sakura, all work and no play will make you a very grumpy girl. College isn't just about studying!"

"Uh-huh."

"Don't worry, I'll help you."

"…"

"You can thank me later."

Sakura groaned. She hadn't even started classes yet and she was starting to get a bad feeling already.

After they finished eating, they decided to decorate the apartment for the rest of the evening. As she settled into her bed later that night when they finished, she stared at the ceiling above her noticing how different it was compared to her old room. She very much felt like a stranger here visiting. It was hard to wrap her mind around that this was her new life now.

_'Classes will start week,'_ she thought.

Nervousness slightly bubbled in her stomach, but she also felt excited. What new things would await her next week?

_TBC_


	2. Meeting

**Chapter 2: Meeting**

Rain lightly tapped against Sakura's window. The morning's light tried to break through the dark clouds without much success. The faint patter sounds of rain always gave her a comforting feeling for some reason; though looking at the clouds it fell from, it looked rather sad and gloomy. Days like this she loved to curl up with a book and relax with some jasmine tea; however, today was the first day of college classes.

Brushing her hair quickly, she put on a pair of one of her favorite earrings, which were long, dangled ones that almost touched to the end of her neck. Star and moon shapes made of a white seashell hung along multiple delicate chains that draped throughout the earring. She always loved how it looked against her pink hair, and somehow she felt like they were lucky.

Glancing at the clock on her desk, she decided she'd be lucky to make it to her first class on time if the rain got any heavier. Today she wore some skinny dark jeans and a dark tank top, and over that she layered a simple knitted top, complimented by a red cotton hoodie. Applying just some quick makeup, she gathered from her desk a folder with a few sheets of paper inside, pens, pencils, and her day planner. She stuffed them inside a large dark green purse of hers and made her way to the front door.

After reaching the genkan, she began pulling on her colorful patterned rain boots. She was ready to head out. Grabbing her simple black umbrella that hung by the door, she did one last mental check that she had everything she needed. It was about a fifteen minute walk to reach campus. The university bus came by their apartment, but was routed to the other side of campus. She found out that her first class was near the front of campus and decided it would be faster to walk.

"Be back soon," she whispered softly towards Ino's door. Ino's class wasn't until 10:00 am, so she wasn't up just yet. Unfortunately, for Sakura, the class she had to take was only available at 8:00 am Mondays and Wednesdays.

Locking the door of her apartment, she made her way down the sidewalk as the patter of rain continued to pluck at her umbrella. There were a lot of people waiting out by the bus stop as she squeezed by them politely. Since there were quite a few other apartments in the area, there were a lot of students walking to school just as she was. She noticed the many different faces that passed by her. It was strange walking among people she had never seen before. Through her years in high school she had gotten to know so many people growing up and seeing them almost everyday. Now it was like starting over again. It would be difficult to ever really get to know anyone here in Tokyo like she could from her small town.

Thankfully the rain kept a steady light pace as she walked. Finally nearing the front gates of the university, which was on the other side of the street, she waited for the crosswalk light. She took a moment to bring out her schedule from her pocket to see the building number one more time. The school's tall buildings rose high above carefully placed trees which overwhelmed the landscape as far as the eye could see. It was not only just a huge campus, but one of the most prestigious schools offered in Japan.

As she made her way to the building her class was in, she couldn't believe how many people were walking along the brick laid paths in between the buildings. There were hundreds and hundreds of people of various ages. Walking by one of the campus's coffee shops, she wished she had time to grab a drink. She was still a bit sleepy and the rain wasn't making it any better.

Once she reached the building, she tried not to feel overwhelmed by just how mammoth the inside was. Columns stretched towards the ceiling, about three stories tall. It looked beautiful and elegant how the arches at the top of the ceiling crisscrossed each other.

"Let's see…215 B," she murmured to herself as her eyes scanned the halls.

She made her way to the second floor and found her class without much trouble. Her class was in a huge lecture hall which must have had about two hundred seats. Each row of chairs was spread out like steps that faced downwards. She assumed the person at the very bottom behind the podium, shuffling through notes was the professor of the class. By his side were a couple of people who were most likely his assistants.

Most of the seats from the middle and front were already taken. Sakura sighed and sat on the right side in the back section. She hoped she'd be able to hear the lecture from way back here. She realized for her next class she'd need to come much earlier to get a good seat. Sighing, she looked at her row which was starting to fill up with people. There was about five minutes left until class started.

People were softly talking to each other around her; some seemed to be friends and others were introducing themselves. The chairs next to her were empty until someone took the seat to the right of her. The person sat lazily in the chair and leaned back to get comfortable. Sakura's eyes trailed from a fingerless black glove up to long slender arms. Muscles were hugged snugly by a grey long sleeved shirt which was rolled up to the elbows. Finally, she looked up to mystery student's face and flinched.

There, sitting next to her, was Kakashi - her old homeroom sensei from middle school. There was no mistake about it. His eyes were closed as he leaned back against the chair with his trademark mask that never seemed to leave his face. His silver hair was messily styled as part of his bangs fell over his left eye. In school, he wasn't only a homeroom teacher, but a martial arts master. When he moved up to the high school's karate program, he helped them win a lot of championships as the head instructor. She remembered him being strict in her homeroom class, but he seemed to care about his students a lot. He never shared much about himself, but what she did know was that he was a genius. He had graduated from high school incredibly quickly in his early teens, which was almost unheard of. It was almost unbelievable such a person existed until she met him herself.

His eyes still remained closed as she stared dumbly at him.

"Ka…ka...shi…sensei?" Sakura slowly stuttered out.

"Mm..?" Looking like he had just woken up, he rubbed his eyes and looked at Sakura. "Ah… Haruno Sakura. What a small world, isn't it?" he said coolly and added, "I haven't seen you in…well, taught you in…hum…"

He seemed lost in thought for a moment as he brought a gloved hand to his chin to ponder. "Almost five years?"

She slowly nodded, somehow not finding any words to communicate for a brief moment.

"I'm um… Sort of confused why you're here…sensei?"

"You don't need to call me sensei... Makes me feel incredibly old…" He cleared his throat and continued, "Well, I quit my job teaching so that I could finish my master's degree, but for some reason they are telling me the program changed for my major and I have to take some freshman courses…which is utterly ridiculous," he said dryly.

"Ah…"

Sakura tried her best to smile. This was weird, very weird. He noticed how she was looking a little uncomfortable.

"If I bother you…I could move to a different row…" he said slowly.

Her eyes lit up wide. "Oh, no, no, no! Not at all. S-sorry, I guess I'm just surprised. You're the first person I've seen here on campus I even know, but it's a good thing though! So don't worry! It's just-"

The professor spoke out commencing the start of the class. Sakura quieted herself and smiled then turned her attention to the front, trying to fight back a faint blush of embarrassment.

_'Weird. This is weird,'_ she kept thinking to herself, trying her best not to look at Kakashi.

_'This is probably the last person on earth I'd ever think to run into… Not that it's a big deal... Just a little strange remembering him all those years ago as my sensei. That has to be weird, right?'_

The professor of the class introduced himself as Ibaraki-sensei. This class was about the exciting world of philosophy, which the professor described as, "Our knowledge of the external world, and the meanings behind justice and truth." It was starting to sound confusing already to Sakura.

The assistants began to pass out the syllabus and seating charts for each row. Ibaraki explained that they took attendance by row looking for empty seats each class and that where you sat now would be your seat for the rest of the semester.

Kakashi filled out his name in the chart and passed it to her. After she wrote in her name and passed it to the next person, she was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she'd be sitting next to him for the next five months.

Sakura pulled out her notebook and a pencil in case she needed to take any notes right away. She twirled her pencil around her fingers nervously. She really wasn't sure why she was getting nervous.

_'Because…I'm sitting next to a genius... Who will probably laugh at my ignorance in this class…or any class..?'_

She wondered, if this was the beginning of her day at college, exactly how much more unexpected could it get?

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if the plot sounds strange or not, but a lot of it is based on my own experiences in college. So, I'm sure it's not accurate to a typical Japanese University. In the junior college I went to my old art teacher from middle school ended up in the same class as me. It was baffling but also great since I got to know her as a good friend. So that's pretty much where I'm stemming the story from. I thought it would be interesting. ^_^
> 
> Chapter edited by: CelestialCircumference


	3. Nyet

**Chapter 3: Nyet**

After Sakura's 8:00 am class, where she surprisingly met Kakashi-sensei, she had another class immediately after it at ten. Once that was over, she took the small hour break until her next class and wandered the campus a bit trying to familiarize herself with it. It wasn't long before she realized the amount of buildings to explore almost seemed endless. Figuring it would be best not to get completely lost, and be late for her final class of the day, she headed to her last building noted on her schedule. She explored the winding hallways that ran throughout the building before finally settling on a bench outside of her next class. Once the doors opened, she found a decent seat and brought out her notebook while she waited for the lecture to start.

Instead of a lecture or taking roll like her previous classes, it sounded like her professor was going to let everyone out early after explaining the syllabus, and just take the official roll next class meet.

_-stomach grumble-_

Sakura embarrassingly lowered herself into her seat. She had forgotten to eat breakfast today and it was a little after 2:00 pm.

_'Of course I forget one of the most important meals of the day,'_ she thought regrettably.

As the clock ticked on near the front of the class, Sakura's thoughts kept going back to her first class today. Her mind kept retracing Kakashi's mysterious features. She'd never seen him dressed casually before now that she thought about it. At school there was a strict dress code for students and teachers. He seemed so different from the last time she saw him, but it's not like she had actually ever been so close to him before to really get a good look at him. In middle school there was a lot of talk about why he always wore his mask. Some figured he must have had some sort of disfiguring scar, but others just thought it was a trademark that stuck with him as he gained fame throughout martial arts and academic circles. He was actually quite famous. He was always a private person though. Maybe he wore it to keep his identity more of a secret? Or he trained so much that he got tired of ever removing it?

Suddenly she heard chairs around her squeak as people were swinging the arm tables back to the side of the chairs. People began to squeeze by her to leave. Quickly realizing class must have been dismissed while she was lost in thought, she grabbed her papers and stuffed them in her purse.

As she stepped into the hallway, she could see through the large water stained windows that were about as tall as the building itself. The clouds had grown much darker and the sound of rain was pummeling viciously against the roof of the building.

Now on the first floor, she crossed her arms and stared out the window. She really should wait until the storm passes, but she was so hungry and wanted to get home.

Almost on cue, her stomach seemed to agree with her. She knew there were some cafeterias spread out around the campus, but she had no idea which would be the closest one to her right now. She'd only be getting herself soaked wandering aimlessly in the hard rain right now. She sighed at her predicament.

_'Wait! I'm stupid. Get a snack from the machine.'_

She remembered seeing a machine tucked away near the stairs when she had explored earlier. She turned quickly on her heel and made her way, carefully trying to zigzag between people. The glossy floor of the building squeaked with people's wet shoes as she walked trying not to slip. The machine she found didn't have very many healthy options, but she could forgive herself eating a sugary snack for now. Quickly looking through her choices, she found a bag of chips that seemed to do.

Searching inside her purse, she suddenly realized she didn't bring her wallet today. It was still in her other purse.

_'I. Am. An idiot.'_

Defeated, she made her way back towards the window to watch the heavy rain splash against the glass. Crossing her arms again, she glared at the sky. Maybe if she glared at it long enough it would stop. She supposed if worse comes to worst she'll run in the rain home if it didn't let up soon. Thunder crackled in the distance making her jump.

_'Okay, maybe I shouldn't run in the rain…'_

She sighed. What a great first day this was turning out.

"Sure is coming down, isn't it?" a familiar voice asked behind her.

She turned to look over her shoulder to see Kakashi. His hands casually rested in the pockets of his loose fitted jeans. He had a small eye crinkle above his mask as he looked at her, meaning a hidden smile was beneath. He stepped up beside her, looking out the window. His grey shirt was slightly sprinkled with water droplets. He must have just come from outside.

"Ah… Kakashi-sen - Kakashi," she corrected herself last minute. "Yes… I hope it lets up soon," she added with a sigh. She looked at his reflection in the glass for a moment before focusing back through the window at the rain falling in the distance.

"It's funny how the news today said it was only a thirty percent chance of rain passing through. I really don't think they can ever get it right," Kakashi mused.

Sakura laughed lightly at that. "So true."

_-grumbleeeeeeeee-_

Sakura blushed and crossed her arms even harder into her stomach.

_'This is getting very embarrassing.'_

"Stupid stomach," Sakura said quietly.

Kakashi seemed slightly amused. "I'm not sure how long it will be until the storm passes, but there's a cafeteria hall just two buildings over."

He pointed out the direction with a quick gesture.

"Well... Being the idiot that I am, I forgot my wallet…but… I'll just wait for the rain."

Sakura caught a glimpse of Kakashi in the window looking at her for a moment with a sideways glance. It looked like he was debating something. Suddenly she started to feel uneasy. She started to hope her stomach would start being obedient and be quiet.

_-grrrrrrrrrummmmmbleeeeee-_

_'STOP IT!'_ she yelled mentally at herself.

Sakura's cheeks started to heat more. She felt like running away in embarrassment, except she knew she'd have to seem him again on Wednesday. So that was out of the question.

"Hum… Well I haven't eaten lunch yet. So how about we go get lunch together? I don't mind covering yours."

"Oh… No… Please don't trouble yourself with me. I don't mind running in the rain if I really have to if it doesn't stop soon," Sakura pleaded.

"I'm not sure how far you live, but you might catch a cold if you do that."

"I'll be fine! Really, that's just too much."

Lightning danced across the sky and thunder rumbled shortly after. Why did it seem like the universe was against her? Kakashi sighed and suddenly touched her shoulders lightly. He turned her to the left and gave her a small push in the direction he gestured earlier.

"Let's go."

"B-but…really…"

"I can't have a former student starve to death."

"…"

Sakura reluctantly started to walk. Suddenly the floor seemed very interesting to her and she continued to stare at it while making sure she didn't run into anyone. Kakashi walked slightly ahead of her, making their way across the long hall. Sakura began tugging at her earring in nervousness. Why was she getting nervous? If anything, she felt more embarrassed.

As they reach the doors to the outside, she suddenly remembered she still had her umbrella. She began opening it as they stepped through the door. Kakashi was a bit taller than her, but she tried her best to fit them both, causing her to touch shoulder to shoulder with him.

_'This isn't awkward at all…'_ she thought.

"Let me get that," Kakashi said as he grabbed the umbrella for them both. They ran down the bricked path between the buildings while gusts of wind chased after them as the rain swirled. His back was getting slightly wet from trying to make sure she was covered well, but he didn't seem to mind.

After they passed the first building, he pointed out their destination. Sakura nodded as they both entered inside quickly. They both caught their breaths as Kakashi shook her umbrella to get out as much water as he could. After closing the umbrella, they made their way to the doors that entered into the cafeteria from the main hall.

Some students were exiting as they entered; a sweet aroma of food followed them, painfully reminding her how hungry she was. As they stepped inside, they were greeted by a cashier. Kakashi quickly paid for them both.

Sakura's eyes searched the room as they walked. There were dozens and dozens of tables spread out filled with people. It seemed like a lot of people knew each other, though there were several groups sitting together just to share the table space. Scattered about were a few seldom single tables of students studying and eating quietly by themselves. From the looks of it the food here seemed buffet style. It was pretty rare she'd ever go to any buffet places in Japan.

Kakashi pointed out the food vendor sections that lined mostly against the wall.

"There are different kinds to choose from. Some will cook to order the meat and vegetables you want. So, just look around and get whatever you like."

Sakura nodded.

"There are usually empty tables on the other side of the wall over there. So, let's meet there?"

She nodded again as she watched him grab a tray. Doing the same, she decided to have a look around at her options first. She saw a few dishes she already recognized such as yakiniku (grilled meat dishes), sushi, and kushikatsu (Japanese-style of deep-fried kebab). There were also a lot of different ethnic foods, ranging from Indian to Italian.

_'Wait…How much did this cost anyway?'_

Guilt seeped into her conscious as she should have paid attention to how much it was at the register. Maybe she could find out on the way out and pay Kakashi back. This all looked terribly expensive. She sighed and decided there really wasn't much she could do about it now.

_'Might as well get whatever I want, else it would really be a waste.'_

Sakura helped herself to some ice water with a few lemon slices. Then got herself a small salad with a few tomatoes, cucumbers, and croutons with a small drizzle of dressing on top. The cooked to order dishes looked pretty delicious, but since she wanted a salad she decided she should just get a small portion of something she could scoop herself. As she surveyed her choices, she decided the pasta with grilled chicken looked pretty good. Finally, she picked up a few pieces of fruit - such a strawberries and grapes - to be her dessert.

Making her way towards the direction Kakashi pointed out earlier, she looked around to see if he was still getting any food. Not seeing him, she figured he must have gotten a table already. On the other side of the room there were several rows of tables, which had a staircase leading up to another floor with even more seating.

Looking around a room, she saw a small gloved hand wave at her near the back. Kakashi was sitting at a small table near the wall. He was reading a book and seemed to be munching on something behind it.

_'Oh yeah… I wonder if I'll get to peek behind his infamous mask?'_

That idea seemed to brighten her mood somehow. She had never heard of anyone from her old class ever seeing his face before, so it was a pretty intriguing thought that she might get to. Sitting down across from Kakashi, she saw an empty bowl in front of him.

_'Did he eat already?'_ she thought, slightly disappointed.

He turned a page and ate from a small dish. It looked like crispy chow mein noodles, which was usually a good topper for soups. He was dipped too low behind his book for her to see anything.

_'How unfortunate…'_ she thought to herself.

"Did you have soup?" she asked, looking at his empty bowl.

"Miso. Pretty good here."

"Have it often?"

"Mm… when I was here a few years ago, but haven't recently until today."

Sakura began eating as she struggled to think of what else to talk about. She would love to get to know him better, but she had a feeling he probably wouldn't say much as he continued to flip another page of his book - which he seemed completely engrossed in. If that didn't say, _'Hey I don't want to talk.'_ she didn't know what else would. Sakura peered at the cover of the book.

_'Icha Icha...?'_

Sakura paled. She remembered hearing about the series in high school. All she knew was that it was an adult-themed type of series, which probably meant she shouldn't ask about it unless she wanted to completely embarrass herself.

She remembered briefly that he would usually have some sort of novel in hand when he wasn't lecturing in class in middle school.

The silence between them was filled with sounds of rain and thunder mixed in with the murmuring voices that echoed throughout the cafeteria. She finished most of her meal, uncomfortably staring at Kakashi's book.

"Is it good?"

She jumped at his sudden question.

"Oh, the food's really delicious. Thanks again by the way…I still feel bad being such a bother to you…but…I do appreciate it."

"It's nothing."

"Well… I hope you'll let me repay you."

"Nope."

Sakura shot a glare at him as he still hid behind his book. Sakura wished at that very moment her glare could burn a hole in that damn book of his and set it in flames. She imagined him running around going, _'Nooooooo my precious book!'_ and waving it around the cafeteria only fanning the flames more. Then tears. Tears would fall into that damn mask of his.

She almost chuckled out loud at her imagination, but caught herself.

"I insist," she finally said with a small smile. At that she began eating the small bowl of fruit she collected earlier with her chopsticks.

.

.

"Nope." He flipped another page.

_'I don't remember him being so stubborn…Is he always like this?'_

"Yes."

"Nope - So what's your major?"

_'Is he trying to change the subject?'_

"Yes - and I'm looking into getting into medical school, but just taking some basics this semester."

"No - and what field you thinking about?"

"Yes - and I haven't figured out the field yet. Hopefully I'll figure it out soon."

"Interesting… Interesting…and…Nyet."

_'Did he just say no in Russian?... Why that…'_

"Da."

Kakashi looked up at her curiously over his book.

Sakura felt glad that when she was in elementary school and got her first computer, one of the programs that came with it was this disc which sampled many languages in the world with neat little facts about the country. They all sampled words like yes, no, my name is…, and numbers. She was pretty fascinated by it and tried to learn some of the basic words from each country.

"Absolument pas," Kakashi said as his book was lowered now.

"Certes oui," Sakura replied back in French.

"Nein."

"Ja."

Kakashi folded his arms and thought while tapping his fingers against his book. Sakura wasn't sure where he was going with this strange language game of his, but she was determined to win.

"Nahi"

_'Hindi.'_ Sakura narrowed her eyes.

"Haan."

Suddenly the lights dimmed above them as Kakashi and Sakura looked momentarily at the ceiling. Sakura's gaze then shifted towards the windows again. It was still raining pretty hard. The storm wasn't going to make the lights go out…was it?

"We should probably leave in case the electricity goes out. Then we'll be stuck here forever," Kakashi said as he collected his things. "And I'm not admitting defeat just yet," he added with a slight eye crinkle above his mask.

"We'll see," Sakura replied with a smile as she finished the last bit of her fruit and got up to leave.

A few other students had the same idea to leave, so they squeezed into the line that was forming at the exit. When they finally got out, they traveled down the hall to make way for the flow of people forming around them.

"Well… This is turning into the strangest first day I've ever had," Sakura said as they walked.

"Mm-hum," Kakashi said with a nod. She wasn't sure if he was simply agreeing or if he was really having a strange day, too.

They both stood in front of one the many windows from the hall and watched the rain. The lights dimmed a few more times, but thankfully never went completely out. As the minutes passed by, Sakura stole quick glances at Kakashi, noting how he really did look like he had a young face beneath that mop of hair and mask. He had a handsome profile anyway. She blushed at that thought. Did she find him attractive? She tried not to think anymore about it and focused back through the windows.

A few moments later the rain was finally beginning to thin out. She was sure Kakashi must have places to go and things to do besides babysitting her.

"I think it's safe to start walking back…So I… guess I'll see you Wednesday," Sakura said with a smile.

"Be careful," he replied simply.

"I will… and I WILL be paying you back," she said as she slipped past the door. Sadly, she still heard a _'No'_ muttered before the door fully closed.

_'What a strange day,'_ she thought.

_TBC_


	4. Fail

**Chapter 4: Fail**

The sun had only just finally managed to peek through the grey clouds as night began to slowly drift in behind the sunset. Sakura was sitting in her room while going through her pile of syllabuses and looked over the readings she needed to get started on. Her eyes scanned all the chapters she was expected to read per day. She was hoping her professors were joking…

_'That's like 600 pages per week, per class.'_

She sighed. After finally finishing her first day, she wasn't looking forward to having more assigned class work from the ones she hadn't met for yet on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Tomorrow, she also needed to buy the rest of her books.

She yawned quietly and stretched in her chair. She was feeling hungry again after her lunch with Kakashi earlier that day. Getting up, she went to Ino's room and softly knocked on the door though it was already open.

"Are you feeling hungry yet?" Sakura asked.

"Yeah, definitely. I'm good with just making some sandwiches or something," Ino replied.

"Sounds good to me."

They both made their way to the small kitchen and separately began making their own sandwiches.

"I can't believe how much it rained today," Sakura said as she unrolled a loaf of bread.

"I know! It was so annoying. Stupid rain made my hair so frizzy. I looked and felt disgusting the whole day. How did yours go?"

"It was kind of a strange day… Do you remember Kakashi-sensei from middle school?"

"Mmm, our homeroom teacher. What about him?"

"He's in one of my classes."

Ino looked at her questioningly with an eyebrow slightly raised. "Eh?"

Sakura nodded. "I didn't believe it myself at first, but there he was… and we actually had lunch together, too."

Ino stared at Sakura blankly. "What, why…?"

Sakura told her, more or less, the series of events that happened. Ino kept a raised eyebrow throughout most of her story while taking a bite into her sandwich creation.

"Dat's kree-py," Ino finally said through muffled bites.

"Well, I thought it was strange at first, but he's just a normal person. Who cares if he used to be a teacher… who reads porn in public, but he's more or less normal… I think."

"I don't know what I'd do if my ex-teacher was taking a class with me. Just seems weird," Ino replied and continued, "Though I guess it's not that big of a deal. Teachers are just like anybody else at the end of the day, but I can't help but think they are uptight and old."

"Well… he seems nice."

"Do you like him…?" Ino stared slightly bewildered.

"Huh? No… I don't even know him. I'm just saying he seems nice."

"You have a thing for old dudes?"

Sakura flinched at that remark, getting slightly irritated. "Stop putting words in my mouth. I said I don't even know him that well. Besides, I really don't think he's that old. He's probably in his early thirties."

"I remember him having gray hair," Ino replied.

"Silver. And I have pink hair. It's naturally that color."

"Mmm…well…I guess."

Ino didn't look all that convinced. Sakura finally bit into her sandwich. She wasn't sure why she felt so irritated at Ino's accusation of her liking him that way, or that he was old. For one thing, it certainly would never happen even if she wanted to. Wait. She wanted to? Or was Ino's mere suggestion of her liking him making her start to think that way?

_'…'_

Images flashed in the back of her mind of how his shoulder felt against hers for a moment when they ran in the rain, and how he seemed to have a cute mysterious smile, and that his muscles looked…

_'I am totally crushing on my ex-teacher.'_

Sakura looked at Ino for a moment, unnoticed, while slumping down into the chair that was at their kitchen table. No way would she admit it out loud.

 _'It's just a silly infatuation or something,'_ Sakura concluded.

_'Not like he'd ever go for someone like me anyway…'_

* * *

It was Wednesday already before Sakura knew it. The weather was actually nice today as rays of light shimmered through the trees on her way walking to school. It did feel a bit humid though, so she decided to wear a chiffon laced tank top that flowed faintly in the wind as she walked. Her Tuesday classes weren't too bad since there were only two that day and she had plenty of time to pick up the rest of her books she needed for the semester.

She came into class with about eight minutes left to spare before it began. Taking the seat she had last time, it seemed that Kakashi wasn't there yet. Pulling out her notes and a pen, she sat staring blankly at nothing in particular, tapping the end of her pen against the desk. Chairs squeaked around her as people were taking their seats. She noticed a few minutes later that the teacher's assistants were gathering multicolored papers from a couple of large boxes. At eight o'clock sharp they began to go row by row, passing them down.

 _'Oh god, what's this?'_ she wondered.

Kakashi slid into the seat next to her, almost unnoticed by Sakura, and sighed looking at the papers that were slowly being passed up.

"Pop quiz already… I figured as much," Kakashi said with a yawn followed by a bored look on his face. He propped his head up with one arm on his desk. His face was partly covered by the open cuffs of his button down shirt.

"No way," Sakura said to herself as she leaned forward with her hands rubbing her temples. Sakura wasn't ready to have a quiz already. It was only the second day of class for Pete's sakes!

"Don't worry too much about it. First quiz usually doesn't count, but try your best," Kakashi said simply to Sakura, noticing how tense she looked as he passed the pile of quiz papers to her.

She nodded at Kakashi avoiding his eyes and passed the papers along. Writing her name quickly on the sheet, she began to read through all the questions first to see how much she knew before she really panicked.

'1. "Plato distinguishes knowledge from mere belief or opinion by saying that knowledge must be a true belief for which one can give a justification, a rationale, or "logos." In terms of his image of the Divided Line, for Plato, knowledge is attained only when our sensible experience is:"'

_'Okay… skip that one for now… Next question.'_

'2. "When a person starts on the discovery of the absolute by the light of reason only, and without any assistance of sense, and perseveres until, by pure intelligence, he arrives at the perception of the absolute good, he at last finds himself at the end of the intellectual world… Dialectic, and dialectic alone..."'

Sakura wasn't even going to finish reading that one.

_'Why are the questions so long...?'_

She never felt so lost in her entire history of taking quizzes or tests in high school or middle school combined. She did read one of the chapters for this class yesterday thinking she'd have the whole weekend to finish… but holy crap none of this made any sense.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Kakashi had flipped his paper over signifying he was finished wondered to herself if these were really that easy. She would have assumed it was because he was very intelligent, but everyone else had begun to flip over their test papers around her. Sullenly, she stared at the rest of the questions until she felt she could make two good educated guesses out of the fifteen questions. She was so screwed. Suddenly, they were already starting to collect everyone's quizzes. She randomly chose answers for the ones she had left… which were a lot.

When she finished passing the papers from their row, she placed her head into her folded arms, defeated. She was going to get an F in her very first college class. Given she was _Salutatorian of her graduating class_ … this was beyond mortifying.

Everyone in the classroom whispered briefly to each other about the quiz, then hushed their voices when the professor began the lecture. Kakashi pulled out his Icha Icha book and began reading; however, he felt a black hole forming beside him and stopped. He stole a glance at Sakura. The expression on her face looked like someone had just died as she was miserably writing notes from the lecture. The way she was digging into the paper, you'd think she was trying to slash it to death.

 _'Did she do that bad?'_ he thought to himself. He felt the quiz covered pretty general questions.

Looking back at his book, he tried to read a few paragraphs before stopping again. Her sad face next to him kept plaguing his mind for some reason. He wasn't sure if it was possible for anyone to look sadder than she was right now. Kakashi had planned on tormenting her more with their small word game from the other day for his own amusement, but guilt was beginning to seep in just looking at her.

He remembered briefly when she was in his homeroom class in middle school. The only time she ever looked remotely sad was when she couldn't sit next to Uchiha Sasuke. She was certainly one hundred times more upset right now compared to that.

Of course he wasn't sure why he was comparing her now to back then. It was so many years ago. She was honestly really annoying when he taught her, but when they talked last Monday she seemed like a complete stranger compared to what he thought he remembered about her. She was certainly intriguing.

Realizing he had been staring at the same line in his book, he sighed and closed it. He couldn't concentrate on reading now. He felt the need to cheer her up after class. Though, he was pretty sure he'd come off as even more creepy after buying her lunch, but it's not like there was much harm in him doing that - and she was in a bind. He's just an old ex-sensei from many years ago.

_'Old.'_

Yeah. He'll probably come off as even more creepy to her. He focused back on the lecture that seemed to drag on forever and adjusted himself more comfortably in the seat. He could already tell he was going to use those three _'sick'_ days for this class early. It was so boring…

Sakura's hand was starting to hurt as she kept writing notes feverishly. She felt she had to just write down everything if she had any glimmer of hope of passing now. She glanced at Kakashi who… looked like he was falling asleep.

Part of her felt angry. Was this class really a joke to him? How could he not pay attention _at all_?

A few moments later, class was dismissed. Sakura grabbed all her things quickly and placed them into her bag and waited for Kakashi to sit up before she could slip by. He sat up very slowly and stretched. She sighed inwardly at how much of a sloth he was. When he finally exited the aisle, her arm brushed past his feeling her heart jump in touching him. Making every effort to avert her eyes from his, she kept walking, feeling in no mood to talk to anyone right now. Kakashi quickly took a fingerless glove to her shoulder before she completely bolted out the door.

"…Sakura."

"Yes…? I need to go to my next class, but I'll see you next week, Kakashi."

"Don't get too upset over the quiz. Trust me, it's one of many."

"Many… huh."

Okay that wasn't helping.

"Eh, what I mean is don't beat yourself up over it. They do this to make sure you don't slack off on readings during the semester. I'm pretty sure this quiz won't even count."

"Well, even so… I don't know what I'll do next time. It's…really confusing," Sakura said with a sigh. "I need to go to my next class before I'm late, but thanks anyway…Kakashi," she added, still looking not very encouraged. She turned to leave.

"Eh… wait," Kakashi said slowly as he held her back again. "I could help you if you want. We could study…the chapters together. I guess… like a group study kind of thing."

Kakashi wasn't sure why in his right mind he wanted to suggest that, but was pretty sure she'd say no anyway.

"Oh…really!" Sakura's sullen spirits seemed to instantly switch in the blink of an eye.

"Oh, yeah… No problem. I-If you want," Kakashi sputtered back. He was slightly taken aback that she'd agree so quickly like that.

"That would help me so much. Thank you!" She gave him a brief bear hug.

Kakashi felt very aware of her breasts smashing up against his chest for that split moment. He was very thankful for his mask that was covering a stunned blush that had made its way to his cheeks.

"Ahh… Um, yeah. Well, I suppose we could get started after your last class today?"

Sakura smiled and nodded. "How about the library? Around five o'clock?"

He rubbed the back of his silver hair thinking what exactly he had gotten himself into. "Okay... See you then, Sakura."

She ran off quickly to her class with a beaming smile on her face. Kakashi left in the direction towards his next class while placing his hands in his pockets. He let out a sigh. He wasn't sure what to make of this sudden obligation, but had no choice to back out of it now.

_TBC_


	5. Black Out

**Chapter 5: Black Out**

Kakashi leaned against one of the columns of the library while burying himself behind his book, trying to avoid glances from people as they walked past. Why he didn't set a certain floor for them to meet at, he'll never know. He hated being so open in public. Thankfully, because the library was so overwhelmingly massive in size, it had a great selection of study areas to usually keep private to himself between classes. The library was about ten stories tall which stretched across monumental sized columns. Each floor featured endless rows of windows facing the surrounding campus.

Unfortunately, he was recognized more often than he would like, which is why he'd rather not be anywhere so open if he could help it. If he ever found the idiot journalists who wrote articles about him throughout the past years growing up, he would shove their pens up their… Well, there's so many choices where. He liked to keep his privacy for a reason. He didn't want any fame or recognition for achieving his aspirations. It also didn't help that his family name was pretty well known in Japan.

Kakashi really didn't have anything to do until his little _'study group'_ meeting with Sakura. Earlier he picked up a small lunch and now he was bored out of his mind waiting around. He tried to remember, why did he offer to help her study again? He could be at home by now, reading in his town house while watching TV. He remembered that his downfall was Sakura's sullen face from earlier today. He vowed that next time he will not fall so easily for her trapping frowns.

His eyes drew away from the page he was reading, seeing a pink fluff of hair weaving through in the walkway of people. He was at least glad she was easy to spot. Closing his book, he placed it in his back pocket and he met up with her near the library doors.

"Yo."

"Hi, Kakashi!" Sakura said excitedly while smiling sweetly. "I really appreciate you helping me out. It means a lot… and now I owe you times two."

"Starting that already I see. No-"

"I don't want to hear it," Sakura cut in. She placed her finger up to her lips telling him to shush.

Kakashi sighed while they made their way inside the building. As they passed by the security detectors, Sakura admired how tall the ceilings were inside the lobby. Large portrait paintings, of what she assumed were some of the university's early leaders or contributors, hung along the wide marble walls. Past the information desk was a computer lab with rows of people tapping away at their keyboards.

"We'll just go to a quiet floor I know."

Sakura nodded and followed him as they went to the elevator area. There were about ten elevators chiming randomly as the doors opened and closed for people coming and going. The one they entered had a breathable amount of people that filed in with them. People seemed to dwindle out quickly once they stopped and passed the third and fourth floors. After a few more people exited, they were alone until they reached their destination: the ninth floor.

The floor was mostly quiet with only a few words of hushed talking being heard as they left the elevator area. Kakashi inhaled the scent of old musky pages as they passed by numerous rows of books. He had no idea why he loved the smell so much, but he guessed since he spent a lot of his time here in the past he'd grown accustomed to it. He did love the scent of a new book and the crisp pages even more though.

Finding an empty table over by the wall of windows, he motioned for them to sit. Sakura sat across from him and placed her stuff on the table. It was a pretty large table which could seat about six or more people. Sakura brought out the book from her bag that they were assigned to read in class.

"Where should we start? I can't say I've gotten too far in the hundreds of pages yet…"

He slid the book from her side to look at the first chapters.

"Best way to take in all this junk they dribble in this crappy, overpriced book, is to skim read actually," he stated matter-of-factly while flipping the pages. "Else you would be reading all night and lose your sanity. It's a good idea to outline the people and the ideas from each chapter and just make a summary to review later. For a class like this, you really just need the basic understanding," he added.

"If I just skim read it, couldn't I accidentally miss something?"

He shook his head no. "Most college textbooks, at least for basic classes like this, seriously just cram things in here to make it more expensive. Instead of just writing it in two paragraphs, they make it into several pages of the most worthless crap."

Kakashi knew irritatingly well after buying endless amount of worthless mandatory books for classes in the past. "So… we'll just outline some things first. Have some paper, pencil, and a highlighter?"

Sakura nodded and opened her folder from her bag, retrieving a few leaflets of paper. Searching inside her bag once more, she pulled out a couple pencils and a highlighter.

"I can show you what I mean… um, if you come over here for a sec."

Without much thought, Sakura got up and moved to the chair beside Kakashi, sitting on her knees to look over into the book. He noted the quick blush on her face from their closeness and she tried to hide it with a quick smile, making him feel a little awkward. The chairs around the table were already close together as it was, since they were big and bulky lined up next to each other. Kakashi tried to scoot a little without much success as Sakura continued to lean over the table touching his arm faintly with hers. Kakashi glanced at her sleeveless arm.

_'I wonder how soft her skin must be... Great, I've just confirmed I really am a pervert,'_ Kakashi thought sarcastically wanting to mentally slap himself.

Trying not to feel like his personal space wasn't being far more invaded than he would have ever liked, he tried to push on to focus and get into teacher-mode. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, he said, "Uh, okay, well, looking at this one here... I'll show you what the important key points about it are. Then you do the same for next section. "

He took the highlighter and flipped to the end of the chapter working his way up through the pages. Making only a few marks on the first few pages he looked over, he made a couple small notes lightly with a pencil over some passages here and there.

Sakura squinted at his writing and said, "Your writing looks like chicken scratch."

"Humph," he replied. He shot her a look and sadly had to silently agree that the few words he wrote looked more like jumbled squiggly lines. He sighed and erased the words that wouldn't have been readable to anyone but himself. Sakura seemed pretty amused about it as she watched him rewrite.

"Introductory and concluding paragraphs usually are the most important to read since it sums it up basically. I tend to just read the conclusion first and main summary points of the chapter before anything else," Kakashi said as he worked through a page.

"Well, this is definitely more efficient than what I was doing in trying to read every word," Sakura commented as she watched. He pushed the book to her to do the next section.

"After you do the next one, we'll go through the main points and I'll just ask you some basic questions."

"Alrighty. Got it."

Kakashi, out of habit, wanted to read his Icha Icha, but was sure he'd feel even more uncomfortable if she happened to read some of it over his shoulder. He began to mess with his fingerless leather gloves, listening to the leather scrunch against the push and pull of his fingers as he waited. Running out of things to stare at, he watched Sakura work. He noticed how she was biting her bottom lip slightly as she was thinking of which sections to highlight. It made her lips shine more in the florescent light.

_'Such cherry lips.'_

He inwardly sighed at how he really just thought that. Mentally slapping himself again, he still couldn't seem to tear away from looking at her fair-skinned face. Her light green eyes moved quickly from word to word as she read. Suddenly, she looked up straight into his gaze. Uncomfortably, he tried to play off that he wasn't staring and looked down at her notes so far. Then he glanced anywhere else but in her direction.

When Sakura finished they talked about the summary of the chapters they did while making sure she understood.

"Okay, so," Kakashi started to say as he began to look at the chapter questions listed in the book. "...One of the tasks of philosophy is to test conceptual frameworks for depth and consistency. Philosophy thus emphasizes the need to… what?"

He read the multiple choice answers and waited for Sakura's answer.

"Um, C - Articulate what we mean by our beliefs and to justify our beliefs by arguments."

"Yep. See? It's pretty easy when you look at all the choices. They are mostly just trying to confuse you by throwing in a bunch of words."

"Well, I wish they wouldn't do that. It's annoying," Sakura said with a sigh and continued to flip through the book, still leaning against his arm. "If the quiz was this confusing to me today... I can't imagine what the tests will be like."

"I can tell you that in the tests, for most of this, a lot of the essay questions will be just whatever your opinion is. Otherwise, it's just going to be basic multiple choice and true or false."

"Ah, like what?" Sakura asked.

"I'm sure essay questions like 'If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?' will be there. It's an old reality versus perception argument. What do you think it means?"

Sakura began biting her lip again as she thought for a moment. "Well, I'd say yes, though it's only because I know in _this_ world anyway, that's how the laws of physics go. I know that it does make a sound since I've seen it myself before, so even if I'm not around, it certainly will. Who's to say though on another planet where the laws could be different? I guess that's a reality answer?"

Kakashi nodded. "However, if no one is around to perceive the sound, then who's to say the sound was made? Sure, a tree falling creates a mechanical wave of pressure transmitted through a medium, but I think this question regards the perception of sound. The wave is no doubt created, but does it make a sound if no one is there to perceive it? If I do not perceive it, then how can I say that it exists?"

Sakura stared blankly for a moment.

"The way you say it makes my answer seem stupid," Sakura sighed.

"I can argue for the other side as well, but point is that there really isn't a right answer. Just depends on your point of view. Just list the valid points for your argument."

"Hum, I see."

Kakashi continued to go over questions for a little while, and then looked into summarizing a few more chapters. About an hour and a half later or so Sakura looked towards the windows with a surprised look.

"Oh, it's dark already. I didn't think it was that late."

Kakashi nodded with a yawn escaping his lips while he stretched back from the chair slightly and said, "We'll stop here for now."

He watched Sakura slowly sit up from her spot beside him to go gather her belongings while she smiled happily. She looked relieved. Was she really that worried about the class? Standing up now, Kakashi smoothed out his floppy strands of hair with one hand as he stretched more fully. Sakura glanced at him while he did this which made him feel… self-conscious for some reason. He straightened out his button down shirt as they walked together towards the elevators.

An elevator chimed at its arrival. No one else joined them as they entered. Kakashi pushed the button to go down to the first floor. They stood in an almost uncomfortable silence. Sakura awkwardly stared at the glossy floor which had a few scattered scuff marks, swinging her shoulders side to side while clutching her bag. While he leaned against the glossy black wall of the elevator, Kakashi watched her for a moment before looking away towards a random spot on the wall. The lights above them flickered followed by a slow whirring sound.

**_-EEEERRNKK-_ **

The lights went out around them besides the dimly lit elevator buttons. The elevator had halted mid-floor.

"Uh…" Sakura uttered in a worried voice.

Kakashi pressed the emergency button with no response. Then he just randomly started pushing buttons which were yielding the same unresponsiveness. You could hear the groan of steel cables from the elevator shaft from the sudden halt.

"The elevator isn't going to fall… or something is it?" Sakura asked in the dark.

"..."

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the chances of having a failing elevator. Lovely, no? I finally have caught up to the latest episode in Shippuden a week ago. I feel so empty not having any new episodes to watch until Thursday. I finally started classes today (which thankfully not many since it's my last semester). Sigh at group projects. _-shoots self-_
> 
> Credit to my friend SomniaRie for having a clever opinion about the question, "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" She said Kakashi's line, which made the hamsters spinning the wheel inside my head fall out.
> 
> Thanks! And as always R&R is appreciated. _-lures you with cookies-_
> 
> Chapter edited by: _CelestialCircumference_


	6. I Hate You

**Chapter 6: I Hate You**

"And then steel cables in the distance slowly began to snap, one by one above the elevator. There was no time to think as the floor gave way under their feet. Free falling into their demise that would resemble crushed steel and shattered stone intertwined in their bodies... Kakashi and Sakura knew this would be their very last moments of life, but when their fall stopped on impact… on top of a mountain of Jell-O left by elevator gnomes... They were saved!"

Sakura's heart felt like it was beating in her throat as she held her bag tightly in her hands. She blinked trying to forget the images flashing before her of falling to her death… minus the random Jell-O part.

"That's… not funny," Sakura muttered.

"You shouldn't have asked if we we're going to fall," Kakashi replied back in the dark.

"I hate you."

Kakashi sighed. "Okay, it was a bad way of making a joke. Sorry. Honestly, it just looks like the power went out. It will probably be back soon. Don't worry."

"I hate you."

"..."

Silence fell between them for a moment. Kakashi wasn't sure if Sakura really did hate him right now for his little joke of them falling to their deaths, but they were saved by Jell-O! Okay, he supposed she had reason to. "But, I like you."

Sakura flinched in the dark at that response. She wasn't sure what he meant by that, but kept to her sudden resolve of hating him forever. Folding her arms beneath her chest, she huffed aloud. "I hate you."

"You can't really hate me, can you?"

"Yes."

"You don't know me well enough to hate."

"I hate you."

Kakashi sighed. "You didn't bring a parrot in here did you?"

"I hate you _forever_."

"A smart parrot."

Sakura semi-blindly made a motion in the dark to smack Kakashi from where he stood in front of the dimly lit elevator buttons. The outline of his silhouette was faint, but enough where she could guess in hitting his arm.

_-smack-_

"I never knew you were so violent, Sakura," Kakashi said as he rubbed his arm. She actually had a decent hit.

Sakura grumbled and replied, "Then don't scare me. Jerk."

Silence made its way back again as they both stood in the same spots when they had first entered. About ten minutes had passed before Sakura slowly sunk to the floor, placing her bag beside her, and sat while hugging her knees. Kakashi followed suit and slid his back against the elevator's wall. It was starting to feel a little warm since the cool air that would fill up inside when the doors opened was no longer circulating inside the elevator. Kakashi pressed his neck against the chilled marble and wondered how long they'd have to stay like this. He was beginning to think this was the universe's way of punishing him for everything he had ever done wrong in his life.

Sakura's heart had slowed down several minutes ago, finally not feeling as scared anymore as the elevator stood quietly. The warm air she breathed was making her all the more aware of how stifling it was getting. She opened her bag to see if by some miracle her phone would get service; naturally, it didn't. Placing it back in the bag, she stretched out her legs. She felt bad for calling Kakashi a jerk, but he was a jerk! Making her scared like that… Still, regret ached in her chest. She couldn't stay mad forever - even if she wanted to.

"How long do you think we'll be stuck like this?" she finally asked out loud.

"Mm, this whole building seems to be without electricity, so I'm sure they are working as fast as they can on it… Still hate me?"

"I suppose not…" Sakura said with a sigh.

"I'll make it up to you."

"Uh-huh."

"I promise."

"Fine. Better be good."

"What would you like?"

Sakura thought for a moment. What would she want? Wait. If he was going to be a jerk, _so could she_! A smiled formed on her lips. "77,419,961,631 yen."

Kakashi wondered why it was such a specific number. "Okay, what would you like that requires not robbing every bank in Japan?"

"Ponies – fifty-eight miniature ponies that can all sing while balancing manatees on the tips of their noses as they do the Macarena."

"I'm not sure how to respond to that." He really didn't.

"A trip to France."

"We're back to robbing banks again," he sighed.

"How about you just tell me about yourself?"

There was a moment of silence. "Okay. I like books."

"Something I don't already know."

"I have lots of hobbies."

"Like..?"

"Reading."

"..."

Sakura clenched her fists and made another swing where he had been last. All she managed to hit was just warm air.

"I moved a while ago. 'Cause I learned you're violent."

His voice now sounded like he had moved to the other side of the elevator. When and how did he manage that without her noticing?

"I hate you," she gritted through her teeth.

"I like you still anyway."

"Flattery isn't going to help you."

"Okay, okay. How about a game? Two truths and a lie. Played that before?"

"Mm, yes. You go first," Sakura replied slightly intrigued, yet still annoyed at how much he kept avoiding revealing anything about himself. Least this way she was bound to learn something about him.

"I hate books. I have hobbies. I have a strange sense of humor."

"Ughhhh," Sakura groaned in annoyance. She wanted to punch his face. She wished she could see anything more than just the pitch black darkness before her. Maybe she should just begin to punch in every direction in hopes of finding his face. "I hate you," she finally muttered again.

"Oh, back to that again… Well, which one do you think is a lie?" Kakashi tried to hold a laugh back as he asked, but a small snicker escaped from his throat.

"The first one, you bastard."

"So mean… Your turn," he said like he was slightly hurt by her words.

"I want to punch your face. I hate you. My favorite color is pink."

"Hopefully the first one?"

"Nope."

"Uh… second one?"

"No."

"But your hair is pink."

"Doesn't make it my favorite color."

"Which is?"

"Red."

"It's sort of close to pink."

"Shush. Your turn."

"Hum…" Kakashi thought for a moment. He supposed he could stop teasing her and actually share something about himself. "I own a motorcycle. I love lightning. My favorite color is blue."

"Second one?"

"Nope."

"First?"

"Nope."

"Oh really. Well aren't you _Mr. Cool_."

"I am."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "What's your favorite color?"

"All colors."

"Why, Kakashi… Why?" Sakura sighed while placing a hand to her head to rub her temple. Why was he so difficult? A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face. If they didn't get out of here soon, she was either going to seriously injure him or suffocate in this heat.

"I'm not picky."

"Whatever. God, it's hot in here. How long has it been?"

"A little over thirty minutes probably."

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Sakura wasn't sure how much longer she could deal with the mugginess.

"I'm probably the last person you want to be stuck in an elevator with, huh?"

"No… Not exactly," Sakura replied hesitantly.

"Oh? But you hate me."

"It's a love, hate kind of thing."

" _Love?_ "

Sakura desperately regretted her choice of words. Her heart quickened with uneasiness. "You know what I mean," she scoffed.

"I didn't think you were so bold, Sakura."

"Shut up."

"I'm just teasing, calm down."

"Hate you."

"Still?" Kakashi said with a small smile forming under his mask.

He wasn't sure why it was so fun toying with her. He held his folded button-down shirt in his hands now. He didn't want to start sweating through it after it was clear they weren't getting out anytime soon. Now he just wore what he usually trained in most of the time, which was a sleeveless black shirt with his attached mask. He would have taken that off, too, but it would be his luck he'd scare Sakura to death if the electricity suddenly were to switch on.

Right after he was thinking that, the lights flickered above them for a moment and then turned on. _'Aren't I lucky,'_ he thought.

Sakura blinked from the sudden light for a moment before looking left and right, not seeing Kakashi. Her faced looked puzzled wondering exactly where did he disappear to. "Eh?"

"Behind you."

She turned over her shoulder. Kakashi was seated against the wall, slumped over his lap with his legs positioned comfortably Indian style. Her eyes glanced over the smooth black, _very_ form fitting sleeveless shirt he now wore. It outlined his perfectly sculpted muscles and really left nothing else to the imagination.

Kakashi looked at her curiously, wondering if she was going to say something at first, but she kept silent. "…Yes?" he asked.

Sakura snapped her eyes away from his shirt realizing she was blatantly staring at him, and blushed. "Um, what happened to your shirt?"

"It was hot. Took it off."

"Oh."

Turning back around, she stood up slowly. Her knees felt weak from sitting for so long on the floor and her butt felt a bit numb. Abruptly, the elevator jolted and began to move down. Sakura fell backwards and tried to make a grab for the railing only to feel her fingers slip by. She felt herself land against Kakashi's chest; his arms grabbed tightly around her waist. She could feel his heart beat fast against her back. He stood them both up and let her go slowly.

"Ah… sorry," she whispered, feeling a bit embarrassed while avoiding his eyes. She picked up her bag off the floor as the elevator opened at the main lobby level. They both exited as a few other people leaving different elevators joined them. Everyone was irritated and complaining to each other. As they passed by the information desk near the front doors of the library, all the employees could do was apologize and said that something caused the electric grid at the university to go out.

Outside the library's doors, the cool night welcomed them graciously. Sakura wiped her face with her arm and inhaled the refreshing air. "We're not dead," she said while exhaling.

"We're the lucky ones," he replied.

Sakura smiled and looked up at the moon that hid itself behind one of the tall buildings. It was usually difficult to find a completely clear sky in the city with all the lights, but there were a few stars that she could see tonight. Sakura looked over to Kakashi. He averted his gaze from her direction and swung his buttoned shirt over his shoulder.

"Where do you live?" he asked while stretching his arms slightly.

"Um, well it's about fifteen minutes or so from here walking."

"I'll drive you home."

"Huh, no… you don't need to do that. I feel like I've caused enough trouble for you. It's pretty much my fault for us getting stuck in the elevator."

"Not sure how you figure that. No one could have known that would happen, unless you secretly planned it… Are you a criminal mastermind?"

"No," Sakura replied as she shot him a glare. "It was my choice for us to meet at the library…" Sakura looked down at the ground and fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

"It's not your fault. Shit happens, but I'm not going to let you walk home so late at night. So let's go."

Sakura stood still for a moment as he waited for her to move.

"Come on, Sakura."

He grabbed her forearm lightly and tugged her alongside him. His touch felt so warm against her skin. She resisted at first at his pull, but finally walked side by side with him as they made their way through the streetlight lit campus. He slowly lost grip on her arm and let his hand fall into his pocket. Crickets chipped as they walked in silence. The campus looked nothing short of a ghost town with a select few shadowy figures walking in the distance. Sakura silently wished she could still feel his warm touch.

While they walked through the campus, she noticed she never been to this part of the campus yet. The buildings surrounding them seemed to deal with engineering and science. A short distance away she could see a row of lights highlighting a parking lot that was across the street. She guessed that's where his car… Then she remembered their game from earlier. He mentioned that he owned a motorcycle. She had never ridden one before and started to feel a little nervous. What if she fell off because of her lack of balance or stupidity?

They hurried across the street when it was clear from traffic. Kakashi took his button shirt he was carrying on his shoulder and tied it around his lean waist as they approached one of the only lone vehicles still left in the parking lot. Sakura didn't know anything about motorcycles, but it looked sleek. From what she could see by the amber street light above them, the sides were painted a deep crimson color; the main body looked like a charcoal black. Her eyes glanced at front and what she assumed was the gas tank, which was a glossy black that shined slightly beneath the street lamp. He unhooked a simple black helmet that rested on the end of a handlebar and held it out for her to take.

She hesitantly took it from his hands. "I've never ridden on a motorcycle before…"

"You don't need to worry. All you have to do is hang on. Where do you live at?"

"At um, 7th Street, at the Village Apartments at the end of the road."

Slowly, she lifted up the clear plastic face of the helmet and placed it over her head feeling a bit ridiculous. She couldn't see the straps very well as she fumbled with them under her chin. Kakashi stepped forward and adjusted the straps for her. An eye crinkle formed softly above his mask and he gave a small thumbs-up.

"You look cute," he mused.

Sakura shot her eyes down embarrassed. "I feel kind of silly."

"Don't be."

He stepped back and got on the bike with the sound of leather crunching beneath. The bike shifted under his weight as he sat. He turned and patted the tiny raised seat behind him. It was such a small area…

"Uh…"

"It's nothing to be scared of. Come on."

Sakura knew there probably wasn't a way out of this. Though she could make a run for it, but he'd surely run her down with his bike. She sighed and reluctantly swung her leg over the seat. She kept herself on her tippy toes against the ground in trying not to fall into his back.

"There's a place to put your feet on the sides."

"Eh…" She picked up a foot and began looking without much success.

"Here," Kakashi said as he bent slightly to pick up her foot and placed it on one of the foot pegs which was up a little high.

Having both her feet on the pegs now, she couldn't hold herself from pressing against his back. She felt embarrassed. Kakashi started the engine, then grabbed both of her hands and placed them around his waist. Sakura didn't think she could feel even more embarrassed than she already did, but certainly was now. He lifted the bike and, after checking various instruments, began to move forward. Sakura shut her eyes and held his waist tight as they moved.

Feeling the wind against her face, she slowly opened her eyes to see the parking lot blur past her. She wished that her heart would stop beating so fast. It felt like it could jump out her throat at any moment. Clutching Kakashi tight again as they entered into the street, she looked at all the city lights streaming past. There were people walking along the sidewalks, mostly in groups, as some went inside one of the many restaurants that were scattered beside the road. A few minutes slipped past before she realized she had been holding her breath still. Slowly she exhaled and tried her best not to look down at the glittering road beneath them.

Kakashi felt a little bad feeling her pounding heartbeat against him, but given it was her first time riding it was to be expected. He liked the feeling at his waist as she clung to him desperately. There was certainly something comforting about it. It was very much once in a blue moon did anyone ever ride with him on his bike.

It wasn't too long before he pulled onto 7th street and found the apartment building that she described. He slowed down to a stop in front of it and turned off his bike. Slowly, Sakura loosened her grip as her heart started to slow down. Dropping her foot to the ground, she shakily slid off the bike. She fought against all her might not to just melt like butter into the ground. She took in a breath and exhaled while standing towards Kakashi.

"Thanks for taking me home. Though it was a bit terrifying," Sakura said while glancing up at him.

"It takes some getting used to," Kakashi replied as he rubbed the back of his hair with a small smile. He stared at her for a moment. "You're not going to keep that, are you?" He asked while pointing to the helmet.

"Huh? Oh, sorry." She unbuckled the helmet and slid it off. Sliding a hand through her hair, she could only guess how much of a bird's nest it must have looked like right now. "How far do you live from here?" she asked.

"About an hour I guess."

"Oh, I didn't know it was so far away. Sorry, I keep troubling you."

Kakashi sighed as he grabbed the helmet from her. "I said don't worry. It's not trouble. I really don't mind."

"Now I owe you times… God, what is it now, five?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "It's not a big deal. I'm going to head out. So, I guess I'll see you next week."

"Um," Sakura looked at her hands trying to think of how to say it.

"Yes?"

"Would you mind if…"

"If…?"

"Um…" Sakura bit her lip as she stared at the ground uncomfortably. "I just, would be worried if you got home okay… Could you, I don't know, message me or something when you got home?"

"Well… Um," Kakashi wondered if it would really be okay to do so. Was it even appropriate to exchange numbers with her? Though the line was so blurred on what was appropriate anymore, he really wasn't sure.

"It's just… It's just that early in high school," Sakura slowly stuttered out. "One of my good friends left with her boyfriend after we hung out one night, and I didn't find out until the next morning… Someone hit them when she was going home. They didn't make it. It would just really put my mind at ease if you could tell me when you got home." Sakura wondered if she would ever stop blushing as she looked nervously at up at him.

Kakashi remembered all too well several years ago when the school district found out they had lost two students. He never had them in his class in middle school, but remembered how hard it hit his friend and fellow co-worker, Umino Iruka, who was their teacher.

After a moment of silence, he replied, "I can. I'll just text you. Is that okay?"

"Yes, thank you. S-sorry… again," she replied.

"It's fine," Kakashi said as he pulled out his phone from his back pocket. He opened it to contacts and handed it to her to type in her number. She tried not to shake from the sudden nervousness she was feeling as she typed it in quickly and handed it back.

"Thanks… I really appreciate it, Kakashi."

"It's no problem, Sakura. Good night."

"Good night."

She slowly backed away and did a small wave before finally turning to walk up to her building. He watched her as she entered inside. He sighed. He was having such mixed feelings about Sakura. Kakashi couldn't deny she kept making his heart unexpectedly race against his will through most of the day. Not wanting to think about it anymore, he placed his helmet on. He took one final look at her apartment before riding off into the night.

Sakura peeled open her front door slowly to find most of the lights on inside. Ino poked her head from the living room.

"Sakura! Where the _hell_ have you been? I've been texting you most of the night. I was really worried!" Ino folded her arms and tapped her fingers against her skin waiting for her answer.

"S-sorry, Ino. I got held up at the library. The electricity went out and I was stuck in the elevator for a while."

"Really? I wish you would have let me know ASAP when you got out at least."

"Yeah, sorry… Well, I got a ride home and I guess I didn't think to check my phone after I was finally able to get out."

"Oh? With who?"

"Kakashi," Sakura said while averting her eyes.

"Kakashi? Was he stuck… in there with you?"

"…Yes."

"Did anything happen…?"

"Like what?" Sakura glared.

Ino sighed. "I'm not your mother or anything. I'm just curious. Since you seem to like him or something."

"No, I don't."

"You're not a very good liar."

Sakura ignored Ino's last remark. "Nothing happened."

"Mm, well that's a wasted opportunity then… Since you like him."

Sakura sighed. "Maybe I'm starting to, but nothing could ever happen anyway. So let's just leave it at that." In trying to change the subject she added, "I'm hungry."

Ino's eyes followed Sakura as she left the entryway and went to the kitchen. Opening a few cabinets, she found some instant soup. "Want some?" Sakura asked while holding the can.

"Ate a bit earlier, but thanks anyway."

Ino made her way back to the living room and plopped down on the sofa. She wanted to press the subject further about Kakashi, but given her friend's quick temper she decided to leave it for another day.

They talked for a little bit about different subjects while Sakura ate. When Sakura finished eating she went to her room after saying goodnight to Ino. Now, she laid in bed after changing into her pajamas and stared at the moonlit ceiling. Every few minutes she'd look at her phone. Her eyes felt droopy, but she couldn't sleep until she heard from him. She was beginning to worry after it was starting to be over an hour now since he left. Her phone finally buzzed in her hand.

_'I'm home. Get some sleep. Night'_

She felt relieved and typed back with a hidden smile that found its way to her lips.

_'Sleep well! Goodnight~'_

Placing her phone by her nightstand, she lifted the sheet below her chin and got comfortable. Her mind replayed the events that happened today as she closed her eyes. She also thought depressingly about all the reading she still needed to finish this weekend. She was glad she didn't have a Friday class so she could have a three day weekend, which reminded her she still needed to do some job searching.

 _'Maybe I'll start tomorrow,'_ she thought. Slowly but surely, sleep found her.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I beat another record of longest chapter I've ever written. _-slow clap-_ I liked how it turned out anyway. Hope yall somewhat enjoyed it!
> 
> As always R&R appreciated! _-uses cookies on a fishing line to lure you to tell me your thoughts-_ xD
> 
> Chapter edited by: _CelestialCircumference_


	7. Friends, Aren't We?

**Chapter 7: Friends, Aren't We?**

The morning's sunrise remained trapped behind dark, motionless clouds as last night's skyline had shifted into a pale misty grey. It was another rainy Monday morning. Sakura groggily turned off her alarm that buzzed on her nightstand. She groaned, really not wanting to get out of bed.

 _'It's too early. Too tired,_ ' she thought while slowly stretching under her covers.

Listening to the rain fall outside her window, she could faintly hear the mix of light traffic already bustling outside the apartment in the damp streets. She felt so comfortable in her warm bed and wished she could sleep more. Over the rain-fallen weekend she was bored to tears reading and studying for her classes. Sakura managed to even read a few chapters ahead to get them out of the way. Ino almost convinced her to go out Saturday to check out some popular venues in Tokyo, but decided against it. It was too rainy anyway. It wasn't as bad as some of the flooded areas outside of Tokyo, but it was annoying getting wet like she had to on her job-hunting journey. Maybe they could go out this weekend if the rain finally lets up.

Sakura's legs felt a little sore from walking around most of Friday to some of the local shops near her apartment in trying to find a job. Not many were hiring, but she managed to submit a few applications. She wasn't going to hold her breath to get hired anytime soon, but she was hopeful she'd get lucky.

Kicking the sheets off with her feet, she slowly rolled to her side and sat upright on her bed. Trudging out slowly, she glanced at the clock on her desk as she went into the hallway to the bathroom. She had about forty minutes to get ready and be out the door. Shortly after she showered and dried herself, Sakura wasn't sure how much time she had left as she hurried back into her room. Snuggling the towel around her body, she began to pull out some of the drawers from her dresser to decide what to wear today. From the corner of her eye, she noticed her phone was lit up on her desk. She stopped what she was doing and picked up her phone. It was a text message.

' _Class is canceled today. Check e-mail.'_

It was from Kakashi. Confused, she logged into her university's e-mail account with her phone. Sure enough, there was an e-mail sent about an hour ago from their professor. It said the streets were too flooded in the small town he lived at and that class was canceled for today. She thought to herself how much it would have sucked walking to the class only to find out it was canceled. She smiled to herself, glad that Kakashi had guessed she wouldn't have checked her e-mail before she left. She text messaged back:

_'Agh, I was close to leaving, too. Ty for letting me know! You must be psychic. Now I owe you times…6? -_- '_

Sakura sighed and put on her comfy pajamas again. It was likely she would still have to go to her ten o'clock class, but decided to go back to bed for a bit. With her phone in hand, she fell back into her bed. Her phone buzzed with a new message.

_'Why yes. I am psychic. Impressed?'_

_'Very impressed. What else can you foresee?'_ she replied. A few seconds later her phone buzzed again.

_'Rain.'_

Sakura rolled her eyes as she looked at the rainfall outside her window. Part of her felt a little sad she wouldn't see him today. Maybe he would be there later in the day for another class? She really didn't have a good excuse to meet with him though, and she supposed it was a little weird wanting to see him, but she felt like they were friends - more or less - now. He had helped her out so much in the past week. She also had to admit she really enjoyed his company. So… It's not weird wanting to see a friend, was it? After she thought for a moment she sent another text.

_'Ha. Funny. Have class later today?'_

A few seconds later he replied _, 'Yep. Why?'_

_'Well… I have class at 10. I'll be bored waiting for my 2pm class. Let's have lunch or something?'_

Sakura felt a little anxious for some reason after she sent her reply. Maybe he'd rather just have time to himself or maybe he was getting quickly tired of seeing her which was completely plausible. He really didn't have any reason or obligation to agree. She began to worry maybe she was making herself come off as annoying to him.

Her phone buzzed. _'I foresee us meeting at the student center. 1pm?'_

She smiled and responded, _'Sounds good :)'_

After setting an alarm on her phone, she placed it next to her on the bed. She figured she'd take a short nap and then get ready for her next class.

* * *

It was the first time Sakura and Ino had the chance to walk to school together, since Sakura always had to leave earlier than her. Walking side by side under a shared umbrella, they linked arms and talked a bit about their plans for today as they made their way to campus. It was a nice change to have company for once. Sakura mentioned she was having lunch again with Kakashi. Ino smirked and said something along the lines of how they were practically dating already. Sakura rolled her eyes at that.

"We're friends," Sakura replied.

"Sure you are." Ino winked.

"He wouldn't see me like that, Ino," Sakura said with a small frown.

"I think he must like you to even agree to meet with you. Don't you think?"

"As a friend."

Ino sighed. "He may be a bit older, but I think it's highly possible he does."

"No."

Ino nudged Sakura as they walked. "You don't know unless you try. You do like him, right? He's gone out of his way to help you a lot, too, from what you've said. That says something, doesn't it?"

"It just says that he's a kind person."

' _My friend is hopeless,'_ Ino thought to herself. Once they entered inside the main campus they parted ways and wished each other a good day.

Sakura's 10:00 am class seemed a little less full than usual. Most likely a few people who had flooding problems in some of the smaller surrounding towns couldn't make it. Then it was most likely a few others who simply wanted to skip. Unless the professor said otherwise, students get three free unexcused absences for the whole semester per signed up class. Sakura didn't want to waste them unless she was sick. Figured it would be the smartest thing to do.

The sky highlighted into a lighter shade of grey as it entered past noon. The rain only lightly drizzled, occasionally falling harder for a few moments and then returned back into sprinkles. Sakura twirled her umbrella spraying tiny droplets of water as she walked to the student center to meet up with Kakashi. She didn't see him inside the building behind the glass doors and decided to wait near the front steps. She tugged at the long sleeves of her hoodie as she waited.

As she began to pace, she pondered a little bit about what Ino had said earlier. She did admit to herself that she liked Kakashi, but still the idea of them actually being more than friends... There was just no way could that ever be possible. He was so much older and mature than her. Why would he give her the time of day? Yet, he _did_ agree with meeting her for lunch, but that didn't necessarily mean anything. Did it? Now she was starting to feel nervous about seeing him. She wished her uneasiness would go away. As she mulled over her thoughts, the sound of rain around her seemed to pull her into a trance. She stared blankly into a small puddle at her feet that had formed in a sunken brick in the sidewalk.

"Yo."

Sakura jumped nearly dropping her umbrella. Kakashi stood beside her with a small warming smile behind his mask. "Well, you're really jumpy today."

"Erm, sorry. Lost in thought I guess," she replied slightly embarrassed.

"Something the matter?"

"Oh, no. Just thinking random things. Um, so any idea what you'd like to eat today?"

"Hum…" He thought for a moment as he tapped his partially gloved exposed fingers against the stem of his umbrella. "Rainy days make me want soup. There's a small café bistro near campus. Want to go there?"

"Ooh, do they have hot tea? That'd be nice too," Sakura asked.

"Yeah, and they have a lot of different boxed lunches, sandwiches, and soups to choose from."

"Sounds good to me."

"This way," he said while nodding toward the direction as Sakura followed beside him. Her nervousness started to creep on her again as they walked silently. She wasn't sure why now, but since they've first met she was starting to feel like her feelings were turning into something more than a mere infatuation. Somehow she felt it was Ino's fault for egging her on that she was going on a "date" with Kakashi. Mentally sighing, she tried to clear her thoughts. Else she would just be acting more awkward later when they got to the shop.

Kakashi noted as they walked how strange Sakura was acting. She was being quieter than usual, and even at the slightest hint of her looking his way she'd advert her eyes. Something was clearly on her mind.

"Sakura, you sure nothing's bothering you?"

"No, I just, um…" her words trailed off as she spoke.

"Hiding isn't better than sharing the truth."

Sakura wasn't sure how to answer that. ' _I think I have a crush on you?'_ she thought to herself. Maybe if she said that out loud she'd feel better in the inside for a split moment, but in turn be embarrassed for the entire semester she had to sit next to him in class.

"We could take a rain check, if you want. For… a different rainy day?" Kakashi asked slowly as she still kept to herself in silence.

"No, no. I really enjoy your company," Sakura assured him.

"Hum, even though you hate me?"

"I only hate you sometimes," she teasingly said with a smile and added, "But, I hope I'm not forcing you to meet with me. You don't have to…"

"Is that what's bothering you?"

"More or less... You don't have better things to do?" she asked. It was partly true at least from her list of worries. There was no way she was going to admit to him that he was making her feel nervous.

"I come because I want to. Not really sure why you'd think otherwise." Kakashi looked around himself. "I don't see you forcing me to. Unless…" Suddenly, he stopped walking and looked serious for a moment. Sakura halted in mid-step and looked at him, wondering what he exactly he was doing.

He pointed an accusing finger at her and said, "You're a witch."

"…"

"You caught me," Sakura replied, trying to keep a straight face, but the corner of her lips kept tugging into a smile while she chuckled. "Okay, you've made yourself clear; I'm being silly."

"Good." Kakashi smiled as they continued walking again.

Over the weekend he had time to think about Sakura and their ever growing relationship. It wouldn't be much of a problem if he wasn't almost twelve - no… thirteen… fourteen-ish - years older than she was. Thinking about the exact numerical age difference made it sound worse. When they were together face to face, however, it was never apparent to him. Granted, a lot of women her age were immature idiots who seemed to care more about their nails than grades. Sakura was certainly different than he first prejudged, and was increasingly becoming entertaining to be around.

Kakashi had a fairly small circle of friends he would usually hang out with between work and weekends before he moved. His old acquaintances from Tokyo long graduated years ago when he received his bachelor degree. He decided in his fifth semester, having just started working on his masters, he'd take up the offer to teach at a school district. They hired him for his advanced knowledge in martial arts. Growing up, he became a well known title holder for world-ranked matches. Most people knew him though because of his family. He hated being recognized for his name rather than his skills. Kakashi mostly agreed to take on the job because he wanted to do something different for a while. He didn't care for the long commute between teaching and attending the university, so he decided to come back later to finish.

Age felt like an invisible barrier between him and Sakura which, at the very least, restricted them to being friends. He was more than okay with that, but why did other signs within him want to make it something more? Her smile and blush was becoming increasingly infectious. He realized the only thing stopping him was that invisible line. Thinking about it as if it wasn't there… It was clear to him how he really felt. The question was what to do about it. He knew the obvious answer: nothing. It was just how it had to be.

After about fifteen minutes weaving through the campus, they walked down along one of the main streets until they were at the café. It could be best described as a small hole in the wall of a shop, but was quaint looking. Inside it was a mix of dark colored woods and stone walls, covered with scattered posters and knickknacks. After being greeted, they sat at one of the small tables which were neatly aligned across the main floor. Sakura's eyes looked upwards at the various red and white paper lanterns that hung on the ceiling's beams. She thought to herself, briefly wishing she could steal one for her drab looking room.

After the server took their drink orders, they looked through the lunch menu. There were almost too many choices. Among the different kinds of sandwiches and small sushi boxes offered, Sakura decided to go with a simple smoked turkey sandwich. After placing their orders, Sakura blew on top of her steaming jasmine tea before taking a sip. Kakashi stirred some lemon juice in his tea. Sakura started to glance at him, anticipating when he might be taking a sip.

"You're very obvious," he commented as he finished stirring.

"Whatever do you mean?" Sakura tilted her head while placing her hands underneath her chin. She tried her best to look oblivious against her devious smile.

He narrowed his eyes at her as he picked up his cup. Slowly, he lifted it towards his lips. His left hand reached up to the edge of his mask near the top of his nose. As he placed the main body of the cup in front of his mouth, he peeled only a small section of his mask with one finger and began to drink, tilting the cup. Much to Sakura's disappointment, he managed to position the cup just right as he sat in front of her, not revealing anything. The cup was too oval to even see the bottom of his nose. Even his bottom lip was still partly covered with his mask. With a single finger, he tugged his mask back on while he raised the cup from his lips, placing it back down on the table.

"You're… impossible," Sakura finally said as she let out a depressed sigh.

"What? What's wrong?" Kakashi acted bewildered while he pretended to scratch the edge of his mask.

"Tease," Sakura muttered.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Kakashi's eyes crinkled from his hidden smile. She sighed once more while crossing her arms on the table. Smirking, she remembered what he said earlier to her and said, "Hiding isn't better than sharing the truth."

"Oh, well that statement turned on me rather fast," he replied, amused.

"What is it that you're hiding exactly?" she asked half seriously as she sipped her drink.

"I'm ashamed of my permanent set of 14 karat gold grillz I got when I was younger."

Sakura almost choked on her tea from laughter. "That is... a disturbing image."

"See? Now you know."

"Liar."

Kakashi shrugged as he smiled. "Well, then what do you think I'm hiding then?"

"I have two guesses."

"Which are?"

"Either you're hiding how handsome you are, or you're hiding how ridiculously handsome you are."

Kakashi felt his cheeks heat. Trying to ignore that invisible line being tugged at, he tried not to look embarrassed while keeping an indifferent face. "That's a very flattering guess."

"I'm sure one of those is true," she replied.

"Matter of opinion I suppose."

After a couple of minutes their lunch was served. Kakashi still managed to eat his soup carefully without revealing his face. Sakura was pretty sure it had to have been some kind of natural talent to do that. They made some idle small talk as they ate. Once Kakashi was finished with his soup, he leaned his head against his hand comfortably on the table. He regretted going to sleep so late last night, feeling his eyes becoming heavy.

Sakura held back a laugh as she saw Kakashi beginning to lunge forward as he was fighting against falling asleep. She couldn't resist having some fun out of his expense. She waved a hand in front of his face finding no response. She took a spoon and poked his arm, snapping him back awake.

"It was embarrassing confessing that to you, but you won't tell anyone right?" She tried to look serious at him as she twirled the spoon between her fingers. She hoped he would think she had been talking for awhile.

"Uh..." He was clearly confused and slightly disorientated.

"Promise, Kakashi?"

"Y-yes..?" he answered, rather unsure what exactly he was agreeing to.

"Did you ever have something happen like that with your girlfriend?" she asked trying to press him further. It was a sneaky way to satisfy her curiosity if he was actually seeing anyone.

"Um, I don't have a girlfriend, but… okay, honestly, I think I fell asleep and I didn't catch what you were talking about. Sorry…" Kakashi held his breath half expecting she might throw the spoon she was spinning like a dagger in her hands at him.

"I know," she smiled. "You only fell asleep for a few seconds."

He sighed, relieved. "That's cruel."

"But oh, so fun," she said with a smirk.

A few moments later, the waitress dropped off the check. Sakura and Kakashi both reached out for it. Slowly, she tugged the tray away from his hand and began to tap his fingers with her spoon to loosen his grip.

"I got it. My debt to you is already high enough," she said with a glare.

"Mm, I guess…" he said reluctantly, deciding not to argue with her as he let go.

"What are friends for, right?"

"Right…" Kakashi agreed while thinking back to why she asked him he had a girlfriend. He didn't want to think about what that could mean beyond a random curiosity. After she paid, they left to go back into the drizzly mist outside. Sakura looked at her phone for a moment.

"Sadly, I have class in fifteen minutes. Guess I'll see you Wednesday. Thanks for coming," she said while hugging him briefly.

"See ya," Kakashi said while awkwardly hugging her back.

They both glanced briefly at each other before turning to go their separate ways. Left with thoughts piling around them, they could each hear the other's steps fade into the distance, accented by the splashes in puddles left by the never ending rain.

When will the sun's light ever emerge from the rain?

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to fix my "hanged" grammar problem a reviewer pointed out on FF. I should really stop writing without sleeping at 6 am to catch stuff like that, which I'm sure there's other things as well. Also appreciated the note how I'm being a bit too descriptive on clothing. Never really thought about it that way. Anyway, appreciated!
> 
> Reviews, comments or suggestions appreciated. _-throws oreo cookies at you-_
> 
> Chapter edited by: _CelestialCircumference_


	8. The Beginning and End of Everything

**Chapter 8: The Beginning and End of Everything**

Sakura gave an annoyed sigh as she flicked her pen across the table, spinning it into Kakashi's hands. On a piece of paper he drew out several dashes. He couldn't help but smirk while he was marking along the paper. When he was finished, he leaned back in his chair waiting for her to speak.

"I don't see how that could possibly be a word," she commented while scanning her eyes over the piece of paper Kakashi held under his palm.

"It is."

"Q?"

Kakashi shook his head no and drew a small circle on the paper.

"S?"

He nodded and filled in S's on a couple of dashed lines.

"A?"

With another nod, he filled in seemingly random A's on the paper.

"Let me look at that," Sakura said as she pulled the paper from him.

_'S _s'_

She sighed and slid it back to him. "You're bullshitting me. There's no way that's a word," she blurted aloud.

A couple of people glanced in their direction from where they were sitting in the library. Kakashi made a shush noise at her while trying to hold back a laugh. They were at their usual table today on a Wednesday taking a study break. A few weeks had passed since classes had begun and the month was already nearing the end of August. As he promised, he continued helping her with philosophy class though she really didn't need it. Their routine was making them more comfortable around each other, but there was always a lingering feeling between them that was left unsaid. Kakashi tried his best to ignore it and just detach his emotions from them being more than what they should be. He didn't want to distance himself any more than he had to, even though it probably would be for the best. He was finding being with her more and more addicting. Their silly conversations were always a highlight of his day.

They planned to stay a little longer today since their first test was this upcoming Monday. Sakura decided it would be fun to play hangman on their break, but quickly learned Kakashi could solve most of her words almost instantly after two guesses. Finally giving up trying to make him lose, she gave him the paper. What the hell kind of word was thirty four letters long? He _had_ to have been messing with her. Bastard.

"Come on, guess," Kakashi said while twirling the pen with his two fingers.

"R?" There were two, which he marked out on the paper. He shifted his gaze to hers waiting for her next guess. "How about an I?"

He filled out quite a few I's in the spaces.

_'S _s'_

"You're such a liar," she muttered while looking intently at the paper.

Kakashi looked pained. "That hurts me Sakura." He patted on his chest right above his heart. "Right here."

She huffed. "Such an act."

"Stop whining and keep guessing," he replied with a deadpanned expression.

"Grr… P, F, Y, L, E."

Kakashi added a line to the little hangman person that was slowly being drawn off to the side of the dashes. "Just Y is wrong," he said as he filled in more blanks. _  
_  
The first part looked like it could make the word super. "U?" she asked.

He nodded and filled it in.

_' s'_

_'Super… super…?_ ' she thought while biting her lower lip. What the hell kind of word was that long which started with super? Superjacifracilililalalalala? She narrowed her green eyes at him. He simply sat there with a smug look on his face. Clearly, he was enjoying her misery.

She sighed. "J?"

"Nope." He drew another line on the hanged figure.

"H?"

"Nope." Another line was added.

"Ugh, I give up. What is it?"

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."

She slammed her hand on the table. "KAKASHI!"

He couldn't keep in his snickering any more from her sudden outburst. People's voices around them hushed while a few annoyed glances were cast their way. Sakura muttered a sorry and sunk in her chair.

"Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious isn't a word," she whispered.

"It's in some dictionaries, but it's debatable. Did you ever see the movie Mary Poppins?"

"No… but I've heard of it."

"Shame."

"I hate you."

"Awe, that's nice." He drew a smiley face on the partly hanged figured on the paper, then handed it to her. Sakura crumpled the paper angrily and threw it at him.

"You're rather competitive, huh?" Kakashi commented while smirking.

"You never play fair."

"I'm very fair."

"It's not a word."

"Let's agree to disagree."

Sakura huffed and pulled out her philosophy book, trying her best to ignore his gaze. Opening the book, she made herself look busy into studying. She wasn't actually mad, but she loved teasing him just to get any sort of reaction. Over the past few weeks, she had really enjoyed their time together, but wished they could do more than just casual lunches at school and studying. She wanted to get to know him better on a more personal level, but wasn't sure how to ask something like that. It was an embarrassing to admit at first, but she realized she wanted to be more than just friends. It just made sense.

Sakura always found her heart racing if she was too close to him or she couldn't help but blush sometimes. She debated awhile about their big age difference, but in the end she decided who the hell cares. She had heard of plenty of people who were together that were ten years apart. They were just a few years more than that. It was really just a social stigma. She was inexperienced in more ways than one, yes, but she was still an adult. She could choose who and what she wanted. Long as he felt the same… He had to have felt it too, didn't he?

She glanced at him for a moment above her book. He still was looking at her, perhaps trying to figure out if she really was mad or not. At Ino's suggestion, for the past week she tried to gauge how he felt about her. _Obliviously_ touching her knee against his when she sat next to him in class. An _innocent_ touch of her fingertips against his when she gave him something. No matter what tiny gestures she did, Kakashi was still quite the enigma. Nothing seemed to phase in him particular or return any similar gestures. She wasn't sure what much else to do at this point. Maybe she should just jokingly write out on a piece of paper with a question that said: Do you like me? Check yes or no. That'd probably disturb him even more since he used to her teacher.

His voice broke her thoughts. "Sakura…"

"Shh. I'm trying to study."

"Well, I think you've studied that page pretty well enough. You've been staring at it for like five minutes." At that comment, she flipped a page and continued to look at the book. "You're not really mad, are you?"

"…"

Kakashi sighed. He really had a hard time telling sometimes, but her silence was making him feel guilty. He decided women sure were talented at doing that. Bringing out his Icha Icha book from his back pocket, he began to read. At least pretend to read, as he still was trying to figure out Sakura's mood towards him. He suddenly felt something hit him between his eyes. It fell into the crease of his book. His eyes turned down to see it was a tiny piece of rolled scrap paper. Looking up towards Sakura she was still staring into her book without moving except to flip a page.

"I see how it is," he said to her with a small glare.

"See how what is?"

"You and your violent ways."

"Not sure what you mean."

Sakura slid more into the chair to hide behind her book, to avoid showing her suppressed smile. Deciding to end it at that, she began to actually review the chapter notes in the book. A moment later she felt something flying into her head. Stroking her hand through her hair, she felt the same wad of paper she threw earlier entangled in her strands. She picked it out and dropped it on the table while glaring at Kakashi who looked engrossed in his book.

"Cute."

"I am. Thanks," he replied, still looking at his book.

Sakura blushed and half jokingly said, "Do you think I'm cute?"

Her heart sped up the instant she said it. She stared intently into her book, afraid to look up. After a long moment of silence, which was getting more awkward by the minute, she was fully regretting saying it. She slowly lifted her eyes from the page in front of her to find him staring back at her. She felt like hiding from his gaze.

"Yes…"

Averting his eyes from hers now, he looked uncomfortable as he tried to lean into his chair. He shuffled through a few pages without much success of keeping his focus on it for very long. After a couple of minutes of feeling restless, he closed his book and placed it on the table while standing from his chair. Sakura looked up at him, worried for a moment.

"I'm… Um, going to get some coffee. Want some?"

"Ah, I'll pass this time. Thanks," Sakura replied.

He gave a small eye crinkle of a smile and said he'd be right back. Placing hands in pockets, he casually made his way towards the elevators. He gave out a long sigh once he made it into the main lobby. Massaging his forehead with one hand, he furrowed his brows as he kept asking himself what exactly he was doing. He was really hoping that Sakura was just being mistakenly suggestive this past week, that he was just making up things in his head. He had certainly noticed and was having a hard time stopping himself from responding. He really needed to stop whatever was happening. Maybe it was time for them to have an honest talk about the tension between them? State clearly to her they could be nothing more than friends. End it at that. It was the right thing to do… right?

Kakashi was finding it hard mentally arguing with himself against his heart. Anything to do with emotions, he could usually do a decent job in keeping up a guarded wall around himself. Even in past intimate relationships, no one had ever been able to break his wall. It's been something he has been building ever since he was a kid. Sakura kept bending it, little by little, almost unaware to him. She seemed to shed a small light in his life, helping him forget about things for awhile. Being able to laugh and just enjoy the moment. It usually was just better to ignore any feelings that tingled beneath his skin and just let them fester for awhile. Eventually, they'd settle off into some pit in his mind and he'd never think about them again.

He didn't like thinking about his feelings, or his past, for a reason. There was too much sadness. Too much hate. Too much heartbreak. Maybe he was afraid of finding happiness? Or that if he touched it, it would just fall apart at the seams. Just like so many times before. Thinking about it now, he really did enjoy teaching and help building the martial art teams from the ground up. It was really gratifying seeing the changes you could make in someone's mind for the better. He really didn't have to quit, but it was starting to lapse into becoming a too-good-to-be-true kind of thing. Finishing his degree was a convenient excuse to leave, though they were rather insistent for him to return right away when he finished.

Kakashi was still standing in the lobby. Moving his feet forward, he figured he better start walking else she'd think he went to Columbia to get coffee. Leaving through the library's doors, he made his way into one of the campus's coffee shops. It was only a few buildings away. His thoughts were finding their way back to Sakura no matter how many times he tried to push it aside. He really did like her a lot. How could he not? She was wise in her own way, mature when she wanted to be, funny, smart, cute… he sighed. Thinking that really wasn't helping his situation.

All he was doing by liking her was just adding some more misery in his life. She was something that he shouldn't have. He was already granting himself permission to be friends with her, which was something he shouldn't have either. Yet every time he'd look into her eyes he'd forget again for a moment of the reason not to.

As he walked back to the library after getting a small cup of black coffee, he wondered maybe he should just try and keep ignoring his feelings like he had been up until now. They could talk it out, but he was afraid it would completely change everything. There are plenty of people who liked each other but never acted on it for various reasons. He could keep doing that, too, couldn't he?

Sakura stared at her notes while biting the end of her pen. She was having a hard time trying to concentrate after Kakashi acted rather strange before he left. If her question affected him that much maybe he did like her, but just didn't want to admit it. Or maybe it was the exact opposite and was disgusted by the idea. It would explain why he hasn't reacted to anything before today. She still couldn't figure out what he felt about her though. There were too many mixed messages. Perhaps she could keep pushing till she heard the words straight from his mouth that he didn't see her like that. Or maybe she should just stop prolonging the inevitable and just ask right out what he thought about her. Maybe she should say it when he took her home after they were finished tonight - how she really felt. If he didn't feel the same… that was fine. They could stay friends, awkward friends, but friends nonetheless. She couldn't live with the 'what ifs' to just keep ignoring it.

Seeing Kakashi approach, she tried her best to act like nothing was any different than usual. Stacking some notes together she looked at his eyes as he sat back down. They were back to looking pretty indifferent.

"I think I got most of these down," she said as she slid the small pile over to him.

He picked them up and looked through them to see how many more chapters they still needed to cover. It was about two more. "Mm, alright. I'm going to look these over to refresh my memory while you finish up. Then I'll just bounce some questions with you."

"Okay."

Sakura was still feeling awkward from earlier, but she tried her best to act normal. Sighing, she looked over the last few chapters that were left in her notes. Kakashi removed the lid from his coffee to stir the settled sugar he placed in it earlier. The floor they were on was getting pretty empty. The sun dipped behind the horizon line quite awhile ago. The library usually closed around eleven at night, unless it was finals which didn't happen until the end of the semester. Stealing a glance at Sakura, he noted how she silently mouthed the words she was reading. She seemed to do that when she was trying to concentrate. In other words, something was bothering her. He mentally sighed at that thought. When she was done, they went over terms and basic principles of each chapter.

Sakura yawned as she hunched over on her book looking up at Kakashi as he finished testing her with some questions.

"I think you'll be fine, but just look over chapter eight a little bit more over the weekend. I think that's all you need to focus on," Kakashi said as he organized her notes back in order.

"I'll do that. Thanks for your help, as always," she said with a small smile.

He returned the smile and replied, "Glad to help."

Kakashi handed her notes back and watched her place them into her folder and started to gather her stuff from the table. She kept her eyes downcast somewhat afraid he would know exactly what she was thinking if he looked at them. In the back of Sakura's mind she was debating whether to go for it or not. Ask him what he really thought about them and if there was any chance he felt the same. Kakashi looked out the library's window while she packed up and admired the view of the city. The dotted lights of amber and white seemed to keep stretching forever in every direction. A sliver of the pale moon was hovered up high in the dark sky overlooking the city.

They were still silent by the time they entered into the cool night's air outside the library's doors.

"I'll take you home," Kakashi said, finally breaking the silence.

"Sure, thanks," she replied still looking at the ground. Her heart was beginning to quicken as they walked. _'To say something or not say something…'_ She was beginning to lose her resolve the farther they walked. _'Just say something,'_ she reiterated to herself.

"Um…" she started to say.

"What's up?"

"I'd, uh, like to talk to you about something."

Kakashi felt a little uneasiness. "Something the matter?"

"Not really, but something's been on my mind a lot."

"About…?" He was starting to worry exactly where this was headed.

"Well, can I tell you when I get home?"

"Alright…"

Now he was really worried. It could be nothing, but all signs seemed to point otherwise. Worst case scenario was she wanted to talk about what was going on between them. He would rather just keep avoiding it forever and really wasn't sure what he would say if that was the case. The time it took to reach his parked motorcycle felt like forever. Her heart was already pounding as she took her seat behind him. His heart began to sink. He didn't want to talk about this already. Taking his time traveling back to her apartment, he tried to think of what exactly he could say. Everything that was coming to mind just didn't seem to sit well with him. He was at a real loss. Maybe there was a small chance something else was bothering her, if he was lucky of course. Pulling in front of her apartment building, he parked and turned off his bike. Helping her slide off behind him, he got up as well and leaned against the seat on one side.

Sakura slipped off the helmet and gave it to him while looking down at the ground looking really nervous. "Thanks again… for taking me home," she said as she leaned in quickly to hug like usual when they parted ways. He had only expected them to hug for a few seconds as he leaned back to release his one arm around her, but she wasn't letting go.

"Sakura…"

This was the longest she had ever held him. She could smell the faint scent of his cologne where her head rested in the crook of his neck. It smelled so intoxicating. His leather jacket felt so cool to her touch. Kakashi slowly returned an arm around her, still a bit stunned. She felt so warm. He could feel her heart beat against his chest, which was just making his race as well. He wasn't sure what to do.

"Sakura, please…"

"Kakashi…" She said slowly against his ear, in an almost apologetic sounding way.

It sent a chill down his spine that rippled throughout his body. It was beginning to be too much. She reluctantly let go as she looked down at the dimly lit pavement beneath them. She was afraid to look him in the eye. After taking a breath she found her courage again.

"Look, the thing I wanted to talk about was us. I don't know how you feel, but I like you a lot. More than just friends…"

Kakashi wondered how to respond. It would be easier to just say that he didn't. Hiding isn't better than sharing the truth, but now he wasn't so sure anymore.

"I'm not sure what to tell you, Sakura"

"Just tell me how you feel. Good or bad."

"I don't know…"

Sakura looked up at him. "I know you're a bit older than me and I can understand if that would make you apprehensive. I've thought a lot about it and in the end it's something that doesn't bother me."

"Well, it bothers me."

"Kakashi…"

He turned his eyes away from hers. They were so hard to look at. There really wasn't a good way to say it.

"I can't."

Sakura immediately responded, "Do you like me or not?"

"…"

"Yes or no?"

"…"

He really didn't want to answer. Admitting yes would just make it more difficult between them. Saying no… just made him feel wrong. The air between them was feeling more uncomfortable by the second. He looked away from her and started to reposition himself on his bike getting ready to leave. Sakura didn't want to leave it at that.

"Yes or no?" she asked again.

Reluctantly, he looked at her. He didn't want to, but had to say what he should have said minutes ago. "No. I'm sorry, Sakura." His lips already felt stained with such a lie.

"Is that how you really feel…?"

He ignored her question as he started his bike. Putting his helmet on, he gave her one last look. "I'll see you next week."

Sakura wasn't sure what to say as she watched him leave. It certainly didn't sit well with her. Why wouldn't he answer her? Should she just let it go and drop it? Accept that was what he really wanted? Did she just screw up their short-lived friendship…?

Only time would tell.

_TBC_


	9. Too Weak to Say…

**Chapter 9: Too Weak to Say…**

Kakashi threw his keys on a mahogany end table that was supported against one of the bare white walls past the genkan entrance of his home. The jarring sound they made as they slammed against the table reflected how he was feeling right now. He felt so pissed off. Not at Sakura, but at himself. He basically just ran away from her. He lied to her - like a coward. It left an unsettling ache inside his chest. He knew, logically, it was for the best. It was the _responsible_ thing to do. He just threw away her feelings like they meant nothing to him, but in fact made him feel happy for a split moment.

At least she was brave, unlike him, in being honest. Perhaps that's what upset him the most. It wasn't the truth. His body couldn't lie as blatantly as his words could. His heart had been racing just as fast as hers when their hug lingered for that small moment. He knew all the reasons not to, all the reasons why it wasn't right, all the reasons why he shouldn't give in to his feelings. In the end he was protecting her, right? Yet no matter all the piling reasons against it… Why couldn't he just let it go? He could easily unhinge his emotions from most things, but why not this? Why was it so hard trying to forget this illogical idea that they could be together? Maybe he was just trying to protect himself rather than her. He wasn't sure anymore.

Throwing his jacket on the couch in the living room, he made his way up the narrow wooded stairs leading to his bedroom. The hollow, echoing creaks of the steps all the more reminded him of how alone he was in this house, how he's always been alone growing up. Even being surrounded by all the friends he had made through the years, he was still alone. Putting up a façade was easy. Pretending that everything was fine, everything was normal, was what was expected in his estranged family. Just ignore the problem and keep it behind closed doors. Never publicly embarrass yourself and shame the Hatake name. That's where he began detaching his emotions, when he was old enough to understand what was going on around him. He was used to it and thought he was stronger for it. At least that's what he liked to keep telling himself.

Undoing his gloves, he shook them off on his desk on top of some scattered papers while placing his phone and book from his back pocket beside them. Now in his walk-in closet, he stripped down into his boxers before putting on some comfortable black pajama pants he usually slept in.

His bare fingers trailed the white smooth walls leading into the bathroom. As he let water slowly fill up the sink, he looked into the mirror. His reflection looked tired and drained. He needed a shave. Kakashi rubbed the fading mark on his cheek that his mask would leave from wearing it so long. After he washed his face with the cool water that lightly streamed down his arms from his cupped hands, he hung his head at the front base of the sink while letting the water drain. Feeling the cool porcelain against his forehead made him feel better for a moment.

The anger he felt in his chest began to slip away. Staring into the dark space in his arms, he wondered how Sakura was feeling right now. His gut further sank at that thought. Why did things have to be so complicated? Or was he just making them complicated?

Back in his bedroom, he unlocked his phone to set an alarm for tomorrow morning. An unread text message was waiting for him. It was sent about an hour ago.

_'Please let me know if you got home okay…'_

It was from Sakura. She still wanted to know if he made it home alright, after he ran away from her, after he told her he didn't like her in that way. She still cared to know that he was safe. Why? Why did she still care? She still wanted to reach out to him regardless. Somehow that thought ate more into his building guilt. He paused as he typed a reply. He wondered what he could possibly even say to her.

' _I'm home… Sorry…'_

His fingers added two more words before he sent it.  
 _  
'For everything.'_

What would he say to her when they were face to face next time? Could he look her in the eye and pretend everything was normal? To keep pretending the lie he made? Opening the balcony from his bedroom, he inhaled the mixed scent of maple trees and various plants that decorated the yard beneath him. The street on the other side of the house was empty as moths and other insects encircled the street lamps. Cars could be faintly heard traveling in the distant highway. A few lights illuminated the windows of neighboring houses. He sat into one of the wooden chairs on the deck and looked up into the black sky. Opaque clouds were slowly rolling over the moon as the wind carried them. The longer he stared into the few speckled stars, the more he felt like he was moving with them, like the earth was moving backwards. He felt that way sometimes. Things were either still or backwards. Never forward.

His phone lit up with a new message. His heart sunk a little as he figured it was probably from Sakura.

' _You don't need to be sorry…'_

Yes he did.

Why couldn't he allow himself to be happy for once? Holding her made him happy. Being close to her made him happy. Her smile made him happy. Her silly retorts made him happy. She made him happy. He wasn't used to that feeling. There was never anything more than just lust with past women he had been with. It was never anything meaningful. Maybe that's why he felt scared with Sakura. There was such a fine line between them of what made it okay. The tiniest smudge would just erase everything, wouldn't it?

What was love like? What was it liked to be loved? He didn't know the answer to that. It was just something that happened in a story. His friends described it as something you just _know_. He didn't know. He only knew what it wasn't. Being dragged out of your bed by your heel wasn't. Being slammed into broken glass wasn't. Being told you were worthless wasn't. His tongue pressed to the inside of his bottom lip. A lump that wasn't seen, but was felt, was there. That wasn't love either.

Kakashi stared at Sakura's text. _'You don't need to be sorry…'_ He had a lot to be sorry for. Why couldn't he just say the truth? His eyes searched up into the night's sky looking for a reason - any reason - to say it's okay. He sighed and looked back at the input box on his phone to make a reply. He began to type slowly with one finger…

_'I…lied…to you.'_

He stared at those four words. His thumb hovered over the send button for a moment. Pinching the bridge of his nose with his other hand, he wondered why it was so hard to let go of his reservations. Why couldn't he just send it? He lowered his phone to the arm of his chair. With a finger, he tapped the backspace. He just couldn't do it.

* * *

Sakura held her breath as she entered inside the apartment. Trying to close the door quietly, she slowly turned the lock as it clicked. She looked at the floor which was starting get to blurry. Her chest felt heavy as her feelings were slowly sinking in. It felt like someone had just slapped her. All she could feel was a stinging numbness inside. Ino yelled out to her from her room.

"Sakuraaaaaaaaa-channn welcome home! Come here a sec!"

She really didn't want to. Slowly, she dropped her bag near the door and went to Ino's room. She turned her gaze towards the side of the wall when she entered.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering…" Ino stopped what she was typing on her laptop and turned from her chair to see Sakura. She looked red in the face and looked like she was about to cry at a moment's notice.

"What's wrong?"

"Um, well…"

Ino looked stunned at her. It was really rare to see Sakura upset. She knew she was supposed to stay late today with Kakashi. "Something happen… with Kakashi?"

"Well, I finally told him how I felt and…"

Sakura sucked in a shaky breath as she tried to fight back the tears that were beginning to escape down her cheeks. "And… he didn't feel the same. I really don't know why I'm crying about it. I guess it just hurts. I don't know, I feel stupid. Now I probably just screwed up our friendship."

Ino frowned. She was so sure that Kakashi had to have liked her. Maybe he was too conservative to acknowledge it, or perhaps he really didn't feel that way. Regardless, Ino felt sad for her. She did advise her into seeing if there was something more between them. It was partly her fault then. "I'm sorry, Sakura…"

"It's fine. I'll be fine." Sakura took in a deep breath and wiped her face. She felt so childish for crying. Ino got up and tried to give the best reassuring hug she could muster.

"Well, you have a lot of guts for confessing to him. So props to you on that."

Sakura gave a small smile. She felt glad for a moment that Ino was here. She always knew what to say. "Thanks." Sakura quickly tried to dry her tears after she was released from Ino's hug. "Anyway, what did you need before I fell apart at your doorway?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'll talk to you tomorrow about it, okay?"

"Okay, well I'm heading to bed then. Night."

"Night."

Sakura went to her room still pretty crestfallen. Sniffling back her last bit of tears, she was surprised at herself for crying. She always thought of herself as a strong person, but she supposed she was still a woman after all. She was well aware of the possibility he wouldn't feel the same. Yet it just hurt, beyond what any words could possibly describe. If you played out the scenario enough in your head of it being a happy ending, she guessed anyone would be feeling like she did now.

She fell backwards on her bed making a big plop sound. Why wouldn't he answer her right away if he liked her or not? That question kept sitting in the back of her mind. Like a faint hope that he was just holding back, but now that she thought about it, it was because he didn't want to tell her how he really felt before he blurted it out. He didn't like her in that way. He probably felt bad for her. She guessed that made sense, but now what? Try and pick up the pieces of whatever relationship was left between them? Would they ever be as carefree as they have been these past weeks? But she had to know how he felt. She had no regrets. She laid out her cards. Where they fell was just out of her hands. Now she had to deal with it. Now she just wanted more than anything to know that he would still be there for her, at least as a friend.

' _Please let me know if you got home okay…'  
_  
She sent a text wondering if he'd answer or if it might make him feel more awkward, but she still wanted to know if he made it home okay. She was feeling a little better now, though a bit empty inside. She missed the feeling of embracing him. Would she ever get to hug him again? Would they ever get to joke around again? Staring into the florescent light that hung in ceiling, she wondered what would have happened if he'd said yes. What would they be doing now?

That thought was making her feel more depressed again. She turned on her side on the bed and sighed. Her mind was too jumbled to sleep, even if she wanted to. Getting up, she changed out of her clothes and into her pajamas. Maybe the best way to spend her time tonight was to watch a movie or something. She remembered she was playing a game her friend had sent her. It was a puzzler type of game where you unlocked the stages as you solved the clues. It would help take her mind off things. After she was playing it for awhile her phone buzzed.

' _I'm home… Sorry… For everything.'_

It was from Kakashi. He felt sorry? He didn't need to be. What was done was done. She sighed and replied back:

_'You don't need to be sorry…'_

Last thing she'd really want is for him to feel sorry for her. She closed her laptop and lay back against her bed. She closed her eyes for a moment. It seemed so quiet. The air was still inside and outside. The hum of her laptop was the last thing she heard before she drifted into sleep.

* * *

Sakura went through the motions of getting up after her alarm set off. It was early Monday morning again. Outside her window, the grey mist that had pushed its way into the landscape was slowly disappearing as the sun was rising higher into the sky. She had two things to look forward to, or rather not look forward to. Taking her first test and seeing Kakashi for the first time since they last spoke. She knew she wanted to say something to him, to at least know their relationship was still in tact. Her stomach felt uneasy about it.

After her class was over on Thursday last week she actually ran into Naruto. She wasn't the mood to talk much, but it was nice to see he was doing alright. He was energetic as ever as he talked her ear off for a few minutes. He talked about his athletic training and who he's seen running around campus since he started classes here. Sakura didn't mention Kakashi for various reasons, though he had been his homeroom teacher as well. Over the weekend Sakura reluctantly went out with Ino to some of the shopping districts in Tokyo in trying to take her mind off Kakashi. Yet it did the opposite. Every motorcycle that would drive by, every book shop they passed, every quaint looking restaurant, and every man that seemed to resemble him for a split second reminded her of him. She almost couldn't get through studying on Sunday. She just felt so anxious about Monday. What would he say? What would she say?

She felt herself getting more nervous the closer she was approaching school. Maybe she was worrying over nothing? Maybe it would seem like nothing had changed? Maybe he'd still smile at her like always when she saw him? There were a couple minutes still left to spare when she entered the classroom. As she sat at her desk, the mood in the room was pretty hushed while people were shuffling through their notes and flashcards one last time. She tapped her pencil nervously against the desk as she tried to look through her notes as well. Finding it hard to concentrate, she kept glancing at the door. When would he get here?

The assistants of the class started to organize all the test papers to pass out to each row so that there was a mix of test forms. At 8:00 am sharp they told everyone to put everything away and began to go row by row passing down the tests. Kakashi slipped in his desk just before their row received theirs. Sakura looked up at him as he rubbed his tired eyes. He still looked half asleep. He passed down the stack of forms to Sakura without looking at her. He had already begun filling out his test. After she passed the stack, she gave a sideways glace at him. He didn't make any notion to look at her at all. Her heart was beginning to sink slightly, but reasoned maybe he must have rushed to get here in time. Maybe he didn't want to say anything and just start the test right away. Probably…

Sakura began filling out the test and was happy to find that she wasn't finding any particularly difficult questions. They were pretty much a breeze. The essay portion wasn't that hard either. It was exactly like Kakashi had predicted. She felt happy that he helped her these past weeks. She was lucky that the first quiz she bombed would get dropped later, as long as it was her lowest quiz grade for the semester. Hopefully, if she kept up her studying she'd make an A in the class.

It was about half an hour into the test. She had about forty more questions to go. Kakashi then got up from his seat. He was finished already, which didn't surprise her much. He went to the bottom of the steps of the room to turn his in. Her eyes followed him as he walked back up and passed her towards the exit. He still never looked her way. Not even a glance… Why wouldn't he look at her? Now she feared the worst. She really did just screw up their friendship. She had to talk to him. Maybe he would be outside in the hall waiting. He did have a class after this. He had to be around somewhere. Sakura looked back at her test to try and finish the questions. She had to stop herself from rushing to make sure she didn't make any stupid mistakes. It was about twenty five minutes later that she was finished. A lot of people were finishing around the same time, so she had to wait in line to turn in her test. Pushing through people on the way back up, Sakura was out in the hallway now. She scanned her eyes around. He wasn't here.

Checking down other hallways as she walked through the building, she was beginning to feel more depressed each step. Was he avoiding her? She thought she wouldn't ever have any regrets confessing to him, but now she was. She walked back up the hallway and sat at one of the many lounging areas by one of the windows. Looking at her phone, she almost wanted to text him, but decided against it. If he didn't want to talk to her today… that was fine. She would force him Wednesday. It wouldn't be okay until she cleared the air between them. This was the last thing she wanted to happen. She leaned against the plush chair and stared at the high ceiling. Why did it have to be this way?

* * *

A hard rain was falling that Wednesday morning as she slowly walked to school. She was in a fog of questions as she was walking on autopilot to class. At least the sky could understand how she was feeling right now. She had sent him a text yesterday asking if he would talk to her today. He never replied. Why was he being like this? Did he feel that upset about how she felt? Didn't he know she valued their friendship more than anything? Why was he acting like this? She didn't know how long she could keep suffering under silence from him. Was he afraid to talk to her? She didn't know and she'll never know if he didn't say anything to her soon. The longer this sat between them, the more annoyed and depressed she was getting. She couldn't take much more of this. It hurt too much.

Kakashi came in late again after class started. He shrugged off his wet hooded jacket to let it hang off one of the arm rests to let it dry a little bit. While he leaned against the right side of his chair, he stared at the floor tile looking rather lost in thought. He still wouldn't look her way as she stared at him. It was pissing her off. Sakura folded her arms as she turned her gaze at the projected screen before them. She couldn't concentrate on what was being said anymore by the professor. It was just white noise against her thoughts. She'd be damned if she'd let him run away without them talking after class let out. She could care less if she missed her next class. This was more important. He was acting really childish. Class felt like it lasted the longest ever in her life.

Finally, they were dismissed, and as she figured, Kakashi still hadn't said a word as he went to leave. He was still clearly avoiding her. Throwing her stuff in her bag, she chased after him through the crowd before he could totally slip away in the hall. She grabbed his sleeve. He stood still, still looking away. His hand curled in her grasp without much resistance. People passed around them as they stood like that for moment.

"Kakashi, talk to me. This is ridiculous."

"I know…"

"Talk to me."

Kakashi finally looked at her over his shoulder. He looked tired. Upset. Weak. Sakura was taken aback a bit. Why was he so distressed? He looked away for a moment, like he was going to say something. Then he took her by the wrist with the arm she clung to. He pulled them away from the crowded hallway towards one of the side entrances that led to the outside. Sakura's fingers loosened from his sleeve as she they walked. Her heart was starting to beat fast while her chest was filling up with anxiety. He squeezed them both past the heavy glass doors. The roof above hanged over enough which shielded most of the rain. A few droplets would occasionally trickle towards them as it dripped from the edge of the metal shingles.

Sakura took in a breath. "Why are you acting like this? Look, I didn't want us to not be friends anymore. That was the last thing I could have ever wanted. Can't you just pretend I never said what I did?"

"No."

"…"

Sakura pulled her wrist away from his hand. He couldn't even let it go? Why did it matter that much? Naruto and she decided to be friends. He didn't freak out about it like Kakashi was. Why was it that hard to understand?

"You're being stupid," Sakura spat.

"I am."

"So you can admit that. Great."

The rain filled in the silence after she said that. Leaning against the stone wall of the building, she couldn't help but think why she'd ever have to say anything at all. She should have been happy with just how things were. Couldn't she just go back in time and redo it all over again?

"You're not a coward like I am," Kakashi finally said. He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced away.

"What…?"

"I didn't tell you the truth."

"…"

"I've… been thinking this whole time it would just be better, for both us, if I just ignored what I really felt. Yet this whole time until now, I still can't just ignore it. I'm sorry for acting like a dick, but I really wasn't sure what to do anymore. What to say to you…"

"Why… do you have to ignore how you feel?"

"Not just because of my age. Not just because I used to be your teacher, which makes me look even creepier. I don't want to entangle you in my fucked up life, Sakura, I appreciate you too much to even want to do that…"

"I don't care about all that Kakashi. If I have a chance to be with you, I'd want to take it. Screw what anyone else says about it, and who doesn't have a fucked up life in some way or another?"

"Sakura…"

"I can deal with the good or bad, long as your there with me. Whatever happens, happens. Why fear the future of what could be? I don't see the point. Just take it day by day and you'll be alright."

Kakashi sighed as he looked towards the falling rain. She was right. For someone like him to be as smart as he was, he sure did feel stupid. Yet he's always been stupid when it came to relationships. He just didn't realize how badly until now.

"Kakashi, just tell me what you want. What you actually want. I'd be happy with either friends, something more or… if you want neither. I just want to know right now," Sakura added.

Kakashi's heart throbbed what felt like into his throat. He kept trying to tell himself to be honest. What did he want? Not what he thought was best, but what did he _want_? He was still feeling too apprehensive to admit it.

"If you can't say it, then show me."

"…"

Kakashi's heart sped up more at that thought. He returned his gaze to hers. Her green eyes had a kind of sadness in them, looking even more of a beautiful shade of green against the dusky teal blouse she wore. Those eyes looked like a kind of haunting pain he wasn't sure he'd ever forget. Why should he hide from her any longer? Why should he torment himself any longer? Unsure, he leaned in towards her, slowly pulling his arms around her. Her heartbeat was probably wanting to escape as much as his did from his chest. He held her tight against him. He loved the feeling. It felt so warm. All his reservations seemed to melt off of his shoulders drop by drop. The smell of Sakura's hair mixed with the rain under his chin was nothing short of comforting. Hesitantly, she began to reach up so she could feel him inside her arms as well, but he pulled her back slowly. He reached his fingers to her temples and traced the edge of her face with both hands on each side. She felt so soft. Looking into the swirling emotions in her eyes, he was sure he could get lost in them if he wanted to. He finally spoke up.

"I'm sorry…"

Sakura looked confused for a moment. What was he trying to say? That he didn't…?

She began to bite her bottom lip. She searched back and forth in his dark eyes for just any notion to say otherwise, any notion at all that he didn't mean he didn't want this. He didn't want her. Her heart was beginning to wring itself inside and out. If he didn't say anything soon, she wasn't going to be able to fight back the tears that were starting to fall away from her eyes. Darkness slowly crept at her heart which would surely never find the light again.

_TBC_


	10. Letting Go

**Chapter 10: Letting Go**

"I'm sorry…" Kakashi said as he took in a deep breath. He continued to slowly trace the sides of Sakura's face down to her chin. He lowered his thumb to the edge of her bottom lip, and grazed the tip of his finger across her lips softly, slightly tugging at them. Sakura's eyes had a mixed emotion of shock, worry, fear… He wasn't sure if it was the rain that was making it look like her eyes were becoming glossy, or if she was starting to cry.

Kakashi couldn't make up his mind exactly what to say or how to say it. There was an unnerving fear residing inside him. He could care less about himself and what floating opinions circled around him if they were together, but she was an entirely different matter. He didn't want her to get hurt. Yet he was hurting both of them right now trying to stop what he felt, to stop what he truly wanted. What was the use to keep running? He was tired of running, tired of never doing what he felt, and tired of being dictated of what he should or shouldn't do. Finally, he just decided to spit out whatever lingering thoughts came to the surface. It didn't matter if it came out ineloquent or stupid.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk. For lying to you, lying to myself, making you upset... I've been caught up trying to do what I thought was best for you, but I can't stop how I feel. What I really want is… I want to be with you, _Sakura_."

Hesitantly, Kakashi began to lean his body closer to hers. Sakura braced herself against the cool bricked wall, unsure of what he was about to do. She was absolutely stunned. The sadness that was creating turmoil inside her heart earlier was quickly replaced with shock. She almost wouldn't have believed he was talking to her if it wasn't for the way he had just said her name. He said it in such an intimate way. It seemed so foreign. She replayed what he said over and over again thinking she must have misheard something. Maybe the rain muffled his words and her mind simply inputted what she deeply wished to be true.

' _I want to be with you.'_

He really did say… that he wanted to be with her. This had to have been a dream. It's a dream, right? But his hands felt real. His body felt real. His eyes looked real. This was real. He touched his masked nose against hers now. Sakura gave a muffled gasp of surprise from their proximity. She had never been so close to him before. Ever. She was so terrified, yet happy at the same time. Kakashi's finger tips slid past her cheek to the nape of her neck, and with his other hand he slowly slipped down his mask. She could feel the soft fabric pull against her nose, lips, and chin.

She couldn't see his face, but could feel his lips coming down against hers. They were so warm and soft. Closing her eyes, she responded back to his kiss. She was so stunned. She had nearly forgotten to breathe before they broke apart. Her heart pounded fiercely as she slowly opened her eyes to look into his. Glancing down, a smile rose to her lips as she looked at his unmasked face. She blushed and turned her eyes away.

"I knew it."

"Knew what?" Kakashi asked while trying to study her shy gaze, his own pounding heart felt like it would never subside. Part of him couldn't believe he had just kissed her, but it felt so right. He couldn't help but grin at the blush she wore on her pale cheeks.

"That you were either handsome or ridiculously handsome."

"Ah, I see." Kakashi's grin spread into a devious smile and he added, "Which one was it?"

Sakura glanced back to him, still feeling incredibly shy as she studied his face. "The latter…"

She really did think he had to have been handsome under that mask, especially by the look of his tender eyes, but she had no idea how much so. His soft features blended into his prominent jaw line, which had the faint beginnings of a five o' clock shadow. His lips were slightly fuller on the bottom than the top, making them look all the more kissable. Kakashi's smile was just as she pictured it to be. It was really warming and even without the mask, still had a kind of mystery behind it. To say he was attractive felt like an understatement.

There was no way in hell she would have ever had the courage to talk to him if she had any idea. Certainly, he could have any beautiful woman he wanted, which Sakura felt she was a far cry from. He looked young, but had certain faintly etched features of maturity. She watched as his eyes kept an intense gaze on her. He noticed how she seemed a bit overwhelmed by the reddening look on her face. Perhaps it was because of their kiss or maybe it was from seeing him without a mask.

"You're really cute when you blush, you know," he suddenly commented.

"…"

Sakura began to sink lower against the wall trying to hide from his eyes. Her legs were having a hard time keeping steady as they were starting to feel more and more like spaghetti. She wasn't sure how he managed to make her feel so nervous just by looking at her, but he was doing it quite well. He held her waist to keep her from sinking lower and with one finger from his other hand, pulled her chin back towards him.

"You don't need to be shy," Kakashi said softly.

"You're making it really difficult not to," she replied. Sakura would have looked away again if he still didn't have her chin held in place with a finger. Instead, she looked down for a moment with just her eyes, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath he took. Even the simple touch of his finger was making it difficult for her heart to become steady.

"What am I doing?"

Sakura nervously glanced back into his eyes. "You're too handsome."

He frowned for a moment, but his eyes looked slightly amused at her reply.

"And if I did this?" He made a weird face by pushing air in his cheek to one side while squeezing an eye shut. Sakura made a short laugh at how silly he looked.

"Now you look like a dork."

"Does that help?"

"Sort of…" Sakura began to smile after she said that. He really was a dork.

He returned the smile, finally letting her chin go, and tucked a pink strand of her hair behind her ear. He still couldn't get over what he was doing right now. The question was still lingering in the back of his mind if this was the right decision, but in his heart, it felt right. This was what he wanted. For now, that was the only reason he needed.

"I'm not going to keep doing that every time I remove my mask," he said while trying to look serious, but was failing miserably at keeping a smile off his lips.

"Then I guess you can resort to something else…"

"This?"

Kakashi slowly pulled her close against his chest and leaned down to find her lips with his for the second time. Small kisses turned into longer ones. Sakura trailed her hands up underneath his jacket along the spine of his back as they held each other closely. Kakashi could taste the remains of a cherry flavored lip gloss as his tongue begged to explore more past her lips. She opened her mouth, more than willing to grant him access. She still was finding it hard to believe he was with her like this right now. If someone would have told her she would be making out with her ex-teacher from middle school years ago, she probably would have punched them in the face at such a ludicrous idea.

The sound of the door next to them opening snapped her back to reality as they parted their lips quickly. The stranger opened his umbrella and passed by them not seeming to notice much as they held each other still. Sakura had leaned her head against his chest embarrassingly trying to avoid anyone who might look their way. She could hear his strong heartbeat. Sakura had already long forgotten they were at the college still, and also that she was completely missing class right now. Not that she minded. At all.

They stood silent, listing to the faint sounds of the droplets that bounced off the shingles of the roof, trickled down the wall and into the streams that cut into the soggy, brick-tiled ground. Sakura took in a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his shirt. What she wouldn't give to stay like this forever. Pretty sure that the stranger had walked far enough away in the rain, she looked back up to Kakashi with a grin. He looked down at her with a questioning look.

"You know I hate you, right?"

"This… again," he sighed. "Why now? Well, wait, which reasons specifically? Since there's many…"

"I don't want to leave from this spot." She tightened her grip around his waist. She really didn't. Finally she had to chance to be close to him for the first time. For one thing, his embrace was quickly becoming very addicting and secondly, she was pretty sure once she let go she'd miss him instantly. Kakashi felt the same sentiments of not wanting to let go.

"Well, me neither. What should we do about it?"

"Maybe we could live like this?"

"We can try, but I'm giving it about ten more minutes until this rain starts making me want to go…"

"Just hold it."

"But the rain…"

"Shh."

Sakura could hear a short laugh rumble through his chest as she still held him ever tightly. They continued to hold each other like that for awhile in silence. There was still so much left to say between them, but words couldn't describe this feeling in her arms. It felt nice to just forget everything. She didn't know much about this man in her arms, but this was the first step to getting there. Kakashi kissed her forehead and gave her one final squeeze before slowly separating them.

"You're missing class right now, aren't you?" Kakashi said reluctantly while giving her a look of concern.

"So are you."

"But that's okay. I'm a delinquent."

"I guess I'm becoming one, too."

Kakashi sighed. He wanted more than anything to be with her, but couldn't help feeling a bit of guilt brewing. Maybe it was his inner teacher setting off.

"Go to class. There's still some time left. You'll just be counted tardy instead of absent."

"I'd rather be here with you."

"And I want to be with you, too, but it's making me feel guilty keeping you."

Sakura frowned. She didn't want to leave. Not after finally learning the truth. Not after finally being able to hug him like she had always wanted. Not after being able to kiss him, which she was missing desperately already. Kakashi swept his fingers above her ears into the falling strands of her hair.

"I promise I'll meet with you after it's over until your next one. We'll get lunch, okay? And um… talk about a few important things."

Sakura wasn't sure what the important things would entail, but she assumed it would be concerns about their new found relationship. Hopefully, it was nothing too bad. Sakura couldn't help but smile as she leaned up on her toes. "Hum, kiss me and I'll think about going."

"Just think? I'll kiss you only if you'll go."

"No."

"Take it or leave it."

Kakashi began to playfully distance himself while folding his arms awaiting her answer. She already was feeling empty from his lack of touch. Sakura huffed in defeat. She supposed she could go to class to make him happy.

"Fine…" she reluctantly said.

At that confirmation, Kakashi leaned down to give her one final kiss. His lips against hers felt so right. It made him feel incredibly happy. There was still so much he wanted to explore of her, but he suppressed himself as he broke his lips away. He was more than fine with skipping his, but guilt just ate at his conscious knowing it was his fault for her not going to hers.

"I'll meet you here, okay?"

"Okay," Sakura replied with another coy smile.

After she gave him a quick embrace, she forced her legs to retrace her steps back into the building towards her class. Kakashi gave her one last smile before pulling his mask up. He held up a hand to say goodbye until she disappeared inside the building's doors. He stood for a moment, somewhat not believing he was kissing her just a few moments ago.

The back of his mind, unfortunately, noted all the worries that he'd been brooding over the past few days, but he tried to keep reassuring himself this was what he wanted to do. Kakashi pulled his hoodie up over his head as he ran into the rain towards the building of his next class. He wasn't sure how things between them would unfold, but he felt glad for finally taking the chance. Each step he took felt like he was stepping into something greater. There was hope, but an illogical fear still crept at his heart that he could lose her just as quickly as he had found her.

* * *

Sakura slowly pushed the door open and slipped inside her class as quietly as she could. A few eyes lingered on her, and then quickly back to the lecture. She could see the stare of one of the assistants follow her until she reached her seat. She only had about five minutes left until she was considered absent. Though it wouldn't have been that much of a big deal to skip since she still had free unexcused absences to use, but she wanted to make Kakashi happy. Sakura couldn't hide the goofy grin that found its way on her face. She felt so elated, so relieved. She couldn't wait to meet him again though she just parted ways with him about seven minutes ago.

As Sakura halfway listened to the lecture, she replayed their last kiss in her mind and blushed. She'd had her fair share of kisses before, but Kakashi's was just so different. It was electrifying. Maybe experience played a factor. She was used to sort of misguided, sloppy kisses. She remembered her first kiss ever was with a boy named Tomoya from high school. When he first kissed her he had completely missed her lips and only touched the corner of her mouth. He stared at her rather confused before he turned away completely embarrassed. When she told that to Ino she had never seen anyone laugh so hard ever...

The sounds of papers shuffling broke into Sakura's thoughts. People were handing down papers within each row to the person at the end. She had forgotten she actually had an assignment due today, which she finished it the night before. If she wouldn't have turned it in today, she would have gotten a zero. Kakashi was right in forcing her to go to class. Not that she'd ever admit it to him. Sakura opened her folder from her purse and added it to the flow of papers that was being passed down. All she could do now was just stare at the clock which seemed to tick ever so slowly. She could have sworn the minute hand went backwards for one second before going forward again. It was agonizing waiting. By the time class was over, she had to stop herself from breaking out into a full run back to the spot where they last met. She still wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. What if he changed his mind? What if he thought he had a short lapse of judgment, and that they shouldn't be together? Her walk slowed at that thought.

' _No.'_

She was scared, but refused to believe it. He wanted her. He said so from his own lips… _his lips_. Her walk sped up again as she dodged various people in the hallway that lead to the side door. Finally at the door, she held her hands at the metal press which would push it open. She wasn't sure why she was hesitating. A blush found its way to her cheeks again. She was getting inexplicably nervous at the thought of seeing him. She sighed and pushed the door forward. The rain was still pouring down, though not as heavy as earlier. Kakashi was already waiting for her with a smile that could be seen under his mask. Part of her felt relieved he was there, but still the nervousness in her stomach wouldn't go away.

"Yo."

"Hello…"

Sakura smiled as she slowly went closer to where he was standing. Realizing she'd never greeted him as a person who was more than friends now, she hesitated what she should do. Hug him? Kiss him...? Glancing around now, they weren't as alone like last time. Various people were walking down the path which passed by the entrance they stood at. Suddenly everything that happened between them barely two hours ago was becoming overly complicated in her mind. Kakashi stood with his hands in his pockets admiring how frazzled she looked.

He cleared his throat to speak as Sakura awkwardly looked at him. "What did you want to have for lunch?"

"We could just have something simple. There's a soup vending machine in this building. Let's just have that and um, talk somewhere quiet?" she asked.

"Alright."

Kakashi followed behind her with one hand softly guiding her back as they entered through the heavy doors. It was a bit busy since people were either still leaving class or heading to their next one. Sakura was still feeling herself blush as they walked side by side. She was really wishing she could find wherever the heck she left her courage. Kakashi was looking as coolheaded as usual as he walked while stealing glances at Sakura's blushing face.

' _It's matching her pink hair nicely,'_ Kakashi thought rather amused.

He couldn't decide if he should have some fun at her sudden shyness towards him or not. She looked so cute. It would be a shame to pass it up until she felt more comfortable around him.

"Sakura…"

"Yes…?"

"You're as red as a tomato right now. It's cute."

"S-shut up."

Sakura looked away from him while folding her arms, feeling more embarrassed. He was making it absolutely unbearable. Why couldn't she get a handle on her nerves? Maybe because she finally knew how intimidating he actually looked (in a good way) behind his mask or that the memory of them kissing was plaguing her thoughts more than it should. She was feeling more and more like a silly schoolgirl. Kakashi slowly walked behind her and went to the side she was facing towards.

"Do I make you that nervous?" he asked.

"Apparently," she replied back with a sigh as she faced forward.

Kakashi grinned as he touched her cheek with the back of his exposed fingers. "You don't have a fever do you?"

"Shush."

"Hum, I could make that weird face again if that helps."

"Dork." Sakura tried to hide a smile.

Kakashi was satisfied with his teasing for the moment. They found the machine she mentioned earlier. He shuffled around his pockets looking for change.

"I got it, though you don't deserve any," Sakura said with a small glare. She gathered some change from her purse pocket and selected a soup for herself. Placing more coins in she waited for him to make a selection.

Kakashi tried to look surprised as he picked a soup. "What did I ever do?"

"You and your relentless teasing."

"But it's fun."

"Says you."

"I'll make it up to you."

Sakura opened her can as they walked nowhere in particular down the hallway which was becoming more deserted. "I remember you saying that before."

"But you wanted things that required me to rob banks."

"Don't you want to make me happy?" Sakura said teasingly.

"Certainly, but I can think of better ways."

"Like?"

"This really isn't the place to discuss _those_ kinds of things." Kakashi sipped from his soup hoping she might miss his implied innuendo. He just couldn't help himself to test Sakura's innocence. She blushed and poked the side of his ribs, causing him to sputter his soup. Sakura groaned annoyed. Her cheeks were starting to hurt from all the blushing she was managing to do in just one day.

"You're teasing. Stop. I can't handle blushing anymore today."

"But I like it."

"I hate you."

"I think we're off to a good start in this relationship."

Sakura bumped into him in response giving a half smile as she glanced into his eyes. Somehow or another she was beginning to feel not as nervous anymore, which she was thankful for. Maybe his joking was helping more than she thought. Kakashi led them up the stairs which led them to the third floor. There was a small bench which faced out towards one of the giant windows, overlooking into a few of the other nearby buildings and dotted scenery. It was mostly grey outside, but it was somehow relaxing to look at. The rain made soft taps against the window which slowly dripped down the glass. The floor was empty of people so it seemed like a good spot they could talk.

"Well, what's on your mind?" Sakura was a little uneasy as she asked that, but wanted to know what all he wanted to talk about.

"Um, well, if we're going to make this… um, our relationship work, there's something you should be aware of."

"Ex-wives?"

"Thankfully never married."

"Psychotic ex-girlfriends?"

"I still have the restraining order active for most of them. No worries."

"…"

Sakura stared at him with an expressionless face.

"I'm joking."

"…"

"Sakura…" Kakashi said in a warning tone. She finally broke into a smile.

"I'm kidding. What's up?"

Kakashi leaned his elbows on his knees, staring into his soup as he searched for the words. He didn't enjoy talking about the subject relating to his family very much if he could help it. With a sigh, he finally spoke.

"Well, what all do you know about H&H Corporation?"

"I've seen the name in a lot in advertisements. It's a big electronics company isn't it? Based at Osaka I think?"

"Yes. Do you know what both H's stand for?"

Sakura looked confused for a moment. "No…"

"Hatake and Hara."

"Eh, does that mean…"

"Though it's merged with Hara Company now, it's been run by my family for a quiet a few generations. Personally, I don't have a part in it. I don't want one."

Kakashi felt a bit of a disdain at saying the word family. "Competing companies trying to break it apart are always looking for dirt within the family to throw to the press. I'm targeted for various reasons, but it's been awhile since I've been bothered."

"So, you're worried about our relationship?"

"I don't want to ignore the possibility of our relationship being used as some kind of scandal because of our age difference. I agree with you, it shouldn't matter, but people are people. They don't care to understand. I just don't want you to get dragged into it."

Sakura circled the edge of the can she held with her fingers. She could understand what he was trying to say. It made sense why he was having some reservations about them being together, if there was a possibility it would be made into some big deal publicly. She'd always thought Kakashi was just well known because of his accomplishments in martial arts and how he helped the school's teams become renowned, but didn't have any idea there was something more beyond that about him. She didn't know much about the corporate world, but knew they were notorious for being rather conservative.

"Kakashi, like I've said before, I don't care what people might say."

"You probably don't know since it was over a decade ago, but I had to deal with something which was made public when I was younger. I just don't want it to happen to you. It's not an enjoyable experience."

"I appreciate what you're trying to say, but you're worrying too much."

"Maybe, but I care about you."

Sakura smiled and leaned against the side of his shoulder. "That means a lot to me that you care, but its okay. Long as I'm with you, I'll take the good and bad. There are lots of couples who have a ten year gap or more between them and they are just fine. So stop worrying, okay?"

"Alright, I'll try. Just take it one day at a time, right?"

"Right."

Kakashi smiled as he held her quietly. He closed his eyes for a moment listening to the rain that kept tumbling at the window. He loved how she felt against him. A lot had changed in one day between them and although he couldn't completely shake off his apprehension, he was glad to know how much she wanted to be with him. It was a nice feeling. It had been years since he had to deal with his family, which he had been trying to distance himself from for a long time now. Doing what he could to make his own living without anyone's help. He probably was worrying over nothing. It's just that his memories… made it so hard to let go.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For whatever reason, I had such a difficult time writing and being happy with it. I've probably reread over it 20 times while I kept changing things so I'm sorry if it's disappointing in any way. I'm trying to keep in mind this is the 2nd story I've ever written so I know there's always room for improvement.


	11. Small Mishap

**Chapter 11: Small Mishap**

Sakura tapped a brush against the dish of her makeup powder. A few particles swirled in the air as she applied the silky powder around her cheeks, nose and forehead. Using the edge of her finger she wiped away a drop of mascara that found its way near the corner of her eye. Looking in the mirror now, she seemed satisfied and placed her brush on the counter near the sink. Normally she never had time to really pay much attention to applying makeup, but she wanted to look extra nice tonight. It was the first time she and Kakashi were going to meet each other outside of college. Would they be much different around each other from before? It had only been a few days since he finally confessed he felt the same for her. Her nerves were getting the better of her already as she pondered. Ino peeked from the bathroom doorway with a small grin forming on her face.

"My little Sakura on a date. It brings tears to my eyes," Ino said while making a fake sniffling sound as she looked into the mirror's reflection at Sakura.

Sakura let out a tired sigh. "Ugh, don't call it that. That makes me feel even more nervous."

"Well it is, but don't be nervous about it. I'm just glad he had the common sense to admit he likes you. Long as he doesn't make you cry again, I approve."

"Awe, if only you were my mother."

"Heh, well, your mother is a bit overbearing. Remember when she totally scared that Tomoya boy away when he _first **–snicker–**_ _kissed_ you on the porch at your house? Didn't she totally chase him with a broom because she was spying on you?"

"Don't remind me."

"Kakashi doesn't kiss like _he_ did right?"

" _Anyone_ can kiss better than Tomoya."

Ino held back a laugh at that thought. "Let me help you with your makeup."

Sakura sighed. "I just want to look normal, but just more put together than usual."

"I won't make you look like a hooker, here." Ino looked into her makeup bag that was sitting on the far end of the counter and dug into it until she found what she was looking for. She had a double ended makeup crayon that sort of looked like an eyeliner pencil, but was bigger and had a light translucent color to it. "It highlights the skin and makes it look really natural."

Ino made a few blending marks with it on Sakura's top lip which made her lips reflect more subtlety in the light. With one finger, Ino smoothed the top bone of Sakura's cheeks and outlined the inner bottom of her eyes which made her black eyeliner pop out more.

"There. Now you look like a cute Japanese girl."

Sakura looked in the mirror and smiled. "I actually like it. It looks natural. Good job, Ino-pig."

"You're welcome forehead. Hey, you're not going to wear that are you?"

Sakura glanced down at what she was wearing. It was just some simple dark skinny jeans and a short sleeved button-up blouse. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's cute, but the top doesn't scream _sexy_."

"Well… it doesn't have to…"

" _Sure_ it does. It's a date."

Sakura blushed and looked slightly uncomfortable. "I guess…"

Ino took Sakura by her hand and pulled her into Sakura's room. Ino started looking through the racks of clothes inside the small closet. After a bit of shuffling she pulled out a top.

"Hum… Oh, how about this one?" Ino held up a shirt that had spaghetti straps which the neckline was outlined with tiny pearl embellishments. The fabric in the front of it draped into neat folds as it tucked under the beading. Sakura thought for a moment as she looked at it.

"Hum yeah, I like that one, too. I suppose that's better."

Suddenly there was a light knock on the front door. Ino handed Sakura the shirt quickly. "Probably him, right? Want me to get it?"

"Um, sure, but I'll be out in just one minute."

Sakura began switching shirts as Ino exited out of Sakura's room to answer the door. Somehow Ino was feeling a little giddy finally getting to see Kakashi after hearing so much about him. Maybe he wouldn't be wearing his mask either. After a few clicks of unlocking the door, she slowly opened it.

"Hello, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi smiled awkwardly under his mask at Ino hoping Sakura would have answered. He wasn't sure how he felt about meeting most of Sakura's friends which were most likely past students of his. He still had a hard time trying not to feel awkward at hearing the sensei honorific. If he was going to be with Sakura, he had a feeling he'd end up hearing it more often than he'd wished to.

"Hello… Just Kakashi is fine. Um, Yamanaka-san, right?"

"Yep! You can just call me Ino. Sakura will be out in a sec. You can come in if you like."

"Oh, uh… that's okay."

"Suit yourself."

Ino tried to hide a smirk as she left the door slightly open to walk back to find Sakura doing a last minute check of herself in the bathroom's mirror. Sakura said a quick goodbye to Ino after she gathered her things. Slipping through the front door, she softly closed it to find Kakashi leaning near the doorway. He was dressed rather nicely in some loosely fit washed jeans and a slim fitting unbuttoned shirt which was left open to reveal a simple black t-shirt beneath it. The sun behind him was disappearing at the horizon, creating a soft orange glow mixed with hues of yellow and purple. It almost resembled a kind of watercolor wash beneath the scattered clouds. The way the light was highlighting Kakashi's face made him look really dashing in a way. Sakura smiled at him as he nudged away from the wall.

"You look really beautiful, Sakura."

Sakura hid a blush as she sheepishly looked at the ground before she glanced at him. "Thank you. You're still handsome looking as always. Even with that pesky mask."

Kakashi grinned as he took her hand in his to lead them down the steps towards the street. He couldn't remember the last time he'd actually been out on a real date with someone. Certainly, it was too long to count. He couldn't deny that in his early twenties he tended to have a string of one night stands in lieu of finding an actual relationship. He wasn't very proud of it and was glad he seemed to have grown out of it the older he got. Only managing a few short relationships since then, he never really let anyone get too close to him. He never wanted to, until Sakura.

Sakura looked a little confused as her eyes searched the street for the motorcycle he usually drove. "Where's your bike?"

"At home. I figured I'd be nice and not have bugs fly in your hair today."

"Oh, such a gentleman," Sakura mused.

"And the fact that you're still scared of riding," Kakashi added.

"I'm not scared…"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, maybe a little. So, don't tell me we're walking?"

"Actually, yes, we've got fifty miles to walk. So let's get going."

"…Good joke."

"I'm not kidding."

"…"

Sakura narrowed her eyes at his indifferent face.

"Fine, fine. I'm kidding."

They walked down to the sidewalk and stopped in front of a midnight-gray colored car that was parked alongside the curb. It was a four-door car that looked similar in the kind of taste he had in his motorcycle. It was sleek looking, but nothing too overly flashy. Kakashi pulled out his keys from his pocket, unlocking the passenger door. He held it open, waiting for her to slip inside. Sakura entered and fumbled with the seat belt as she waited for him to enter from the other side. The silence and warm air inside the car was making her feel slightly more nervous. Kakashi entered in the driver's seat and, with a jingle of his keys, started the car. The various instruments on the dash board lit up in a dim red color. Cool air slowly circulated its way to Sakura's face, creating a few fly away strands that began to tickle her nose.

Kakashi leaned over to remove one as he looked into her eyes. "You really do look stunning."

Sakura smiled leaning into his hand that pushed back her hair. "You're going to start making me have a blush-fest again."

"Hum…"

Sakura looked at him with a questioning look as he leaned over towards her. Pulling his mask down, he quickly surprised her with a kiss to her pouting lips, making her jump.

"Kakashi! Not that I mind, but don't surprise me like that."

"I wanted to see what kind of blush you'd make."

"Ugh, great. Now it's a game to you. I can't imagine how relentless you're going to be now."

Sakura sulked in her seat while she folded her arms. Kakashi responded with a mischievous smile before he pulled his mask back up and buckled his seat belt. He shifted the gear of the car and pulled into the street.

"So, Kakashi… Where are we headed?"

"It's a secret."

"Oh, come on, please?"

"Secret."

"Pretty please?"

"Nope."

"I hate you."

"But I like you. _A lot_."

Sakura stared out the window in defeat of not managing to get a straight answer out of him as scenery progressed by. The radio mumbled softly in the background as it spouted various commercials until music would play. She tried to note the kind of music it was.

' _Alternative/Pop?'_

Was that his favorite kind of music? She also hoped to learn more about Kakashi today as well. What were his likes? Besides reading. What were his dislikes? The city had a kind of hypnotic allure to it as she focused on nothing in particular as various signs, people, and tall buildings swept past them. It was easy to lose yourself in the glowing neon signs that were spread out all across Tokyo. Lately, she found herself missing the old green hills of home which were filled with deep forests that would surround the town. Compared to here, those forests now were replaced with cemented trees that decorated the sidewalks. Sakura turned her gaze to Kakashi's profile as he adjusted the visor above him to block the fading sun from his eyes. She still couldn't suppress a smile of how happy she was being with him right now. It was comforting, exciting, and yet nerve wrecking to imagine of what was to come later.

' _Just be yourself. Enjoy the moment,'_ she tried to calm herself with that thought.

Why she was worrying so much of appearing foolish in front of him, she wasn't completely sure. She still didn't know him all that well yet. Maybe that's why she felt a bit of uncertainty of how to act with him. She managed to make some small conversation with him as they drove.

The sky had fallen into twilight after they had driven about forty minutes. The buildings surrounding them slightly gapped in the distance revealing the open waters of Tokyo Bay. One by one, the lights of the skyscrapers were shining vibrantly against the darkening backdrop of the sky.

"Hum, I guess I've never been to the bay at night."

"Then you're in for a treat."

"Oh, that so?" Sakura said with a grin.

They were traveling on one of the main city streets now which was bustling with traffic and people. Sakura's neck hurt trying to see behind the limited car window of how tall the buildings were that dwarfed them in comparison. Kakashi's eyes searched carefully at the street names and buildings as they drove by. Sakura still wasn't sure where they were going exactly, but was getting excited. They pulled into a public multi-level parking garage which was a little busy with other people, who were either leaving or parking their cars to go down to the sidewalk. Kakashi parked and turned off the car. He did a last minute check, making sure he wasn't forgetting anything before he opened the car door to leave. Sakura unbuckled her seat belt and did the same. She tried her best not to hit the car door against the car next to them. All the cars had to be snugly parked next to each other to save as much space as possible. She gave a sigh of relief as she left the narrow passage and rejoined him. They walked down the level they were on into the stairwell where the bottom revealed the city's hustling sidewalk. Sakura linked her hand around Kakashi's upper arm as they walked, feeling a little worried she might get swept away in the crowd.

There was a nice energy from various couples and groups of people that passed by them, having a good time talking excitedly to each other. Sakura admired the scenery around them. It wasn't too often she'd walk around the city like this to take in the sights and sounds. It was certainly a nice change from her stuffy apartment bedroom.

Sakura tugged at Kakashi's sleeve. "Soooo, where are we going?"

Kakashi gave her a usual eye crinkle of a smile. "Secret."

Sakura groaned in response as they continued to walk. After they rounded the corner of the block Kakashi led her into one of the tall buildings. Inside, it had quite an expansive lobby with a dark patterned marble floor. They entered one of the elevators; the buttons to select the floor seriously had too many choices. Kakashi pressed a few buttons short of the very top one which was the 70th floor.

Sakura tapped Kakashi's shoulder lightly with her other hand. She cleared her throat as she tried to make the best sounding worried voice she could muster. "Is now a bad time to tell you I fear heights?"

"…"

Kakashi looked concerned for a moment.

"I'm joking."

He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. "You worried me for a second."

"That's what you get for teasing me all the time."

Kakashi poked the side of her stomach in response which made her giggle. They finally reached their destined floor that revealed a bustling restaurant. Diners and staff shuffled by in the distance. The restaurant had a nice classy-casual vibe as some of the off-white linen tables had comfortable looking grey couches as seating. All of the windows on the floor gave an amazing, breathtaking view of the surrounding city. Kakashi gave his name to the host who seemed to know exactly where to seat them without having to look into a list. They were seated right next to the window that overlooked Rainbow Bridge that was already illuminated with a multicolored gradient of projected lights at its arches. You could even see Tokyo Tower in the distance. Against the indigo sky, the lights shimmered beautifully as they reflected off the rippled water. It was all incredibly romantic looking.

"Wow, it's so pretty," Sakura commented as she looked.

"Thought you might enjoy it," he replied.

"Have you been here before?"

"Yes. Believe it or not, at one point I worked here."

Sakura was surprised at that. "Oh, really? Doing what?"

"I was a waiter. It was one of the first jobs I ever got with the help of a friend."

"Hum, you as a waiter huh?" Sakura had a hard time trying to picture him as one. Did he still wear his mask then, too? She glanced at a waiter's uniform as one passed by. The waiters were dressed in a simple, white long sleeved shirt with causal black pants, complimented by a black apron. He probably looked really cute.

"Did you like it?"

"It wasn't bad. Job's a job."

A server came by to take their orders. Sakura decided to let Kakashi choose something for her since he was already familiar with the food. She wasn't terribly picky anyway.

Sakura sulked for a moment thinking about the subject of jobs. "Blah, reminds me I still need to keep job searching. I've tried a few places, but no luck yet."

"Hum, well let me know if you want help. I could probably ask a few people I know for you."

"We'll see. I want to try my best on my own first."

"I understand. I'm the same way really," he replied with a smile.

"Oh," Sakura said with a sudden thought. "Do you work anywhere right now?"

"No. I guess you could say I'm taking a break at the moment and just going to school. Honestly, I don't have to work at all if I wanted, but I'd rather use my own earnings for things."

"Why's that?"

Kakashi hesitated in answering as he thought of what he should say. It dealt with his family which he really didn't want to talk about yet. It would also probably just put him in a damper mood. "Mm… Well, it's sort of complicated…"

"Ah, I see…"

Sakura could see he wasn't very comfortable in answering for some reason, so she decided to just leave it at that. She tried to perk the mood up. "Well, so what's the plan after this?"

"Secret."

"Ugh, Kakashi. You're killing me."

Kakashi simply grinned in response, enjoying her misery of wanting to know what else he had planned. He smoothed over the folds of the crimson napkin that was placed on the table. It reminded him of how the old ones they used use to be a deep tan color. He started working here when he was about seventeen. It had been when he decided he had enough of his home life and decided to move out on his own. They certainly thought he was crazy, trading the mansion life he grew up in for a one bedroom apartment in a shady part of town. He tried not to ever look back, but as hard as he tried he could never run far enough. It just never stopped.

The food arriving broke into his thoughts. He had decided to order something he never tried before that was on the menu, a roasted chicken with a mango glaze. He didn't hide to eat as he usually did, since they were secluded from most people where they sat. Sakura admired his face while she ate as if she was seeing it for the first time again. She still couldn't get used to it quite yet as it still seemed like a stranger's face, but certainly felt glad he was more open around her now.

"So, will you ever tell me why you wear your mask?"

"Secret."

"So many secrets," Sakura sighed.

"All to be revealed in due time," he replied back with a smirk.

They talked comfortably for awhile before Sakura declared there was no way she could eat anymore without turning into a whale. She felt pretty relaxed when they left back into the crowded sidewalk. They were back in his car again, now driving to another mystery location. Time seemed to pass by quickly as they chatted. The suspense was agonizing as they were driving farther away from the blinking lights of the city.

"Hum, you're not kidnapping me are you?" Sakura questioned.

"Maybe."

"Long as you're my kidnapper, I don't mind."

"Just what I want to hear from my hostage."

Sakura snickered at that. After some more time had passed, it looked like they were entering into a park. A few nature trail signs were pointing away at some paths alongside the road. They headed up further to a moderately forested area that now surrounded them. He parked the car and shut off the engine. He emptied his pockets of his beloved book and wallet, and then placed them in the glove compartment. He motioned for her to leave her purse behind and hide it under the seat, since it wouldn't be needed for whatever they were doing.

"Well, let's see if we can see anything."

Sakura looked at him, confused, as she followed his lead to exit the car. There were hardly any lights except for the bright moon that lit the ground. Sakura looked up, surprised to find a blanket of stars above them.

"Awe, wow. You can actually see the stars over here."

"There's an observatory near here behind the hills, so it's easier to see."

"Really amazing," Sakura said as she looked at him with a grin and added, "You sure are spoiling me today."

"Happy to."

Kakashi held out his hand to her and took them to a nearby clearing of a hill. The skyline of the city was hidden behind some trees, but it looked amazing, like a hidden sparkling gem that glowed into the night's sky. Kakashi motioned for her to lie back next to him on the grass. She placed her head on his shoulder as he rested his against the palm of his hand. They looked into the vast dark sky above them.

Butterflies were already starting to churn in Sakura's stomach. "Kakashi…"

"Hum?"

"Thank you."

"Best time I've had. Ever."

He smiled. "Me too."

After some silence, Kakashi lifted a silhouetted finger pointed into the sky. He commented on some of the star constellations that he could make out. Sakura felt so elated to be here with him. He was smart, silly, handsome… How could she have gotten so lucky? Sakura felt a little nervous, but moved closer to him. She slinked an arm around his chest and let her face lay above where his heart was. She smirked as she listened to it beat faster. At least through all her blushing he forced her to do, she was happy to know she created a stir in his heart as well.

Wondering how much she could make his heart race, she slowly dragged a finger up the middle of his chest to the tip of his mask and began to pull it down gently. She leaned over to kiss his lips. They felt so good against hers. His responding kisses slowly turned into more dominating ones as he began to explore her mouth. Their tongues swirled against each other almost desperately.

Kakashi slowly kissed away to her cheek, leading up to the bottom of her earlobe. He nibbled it tenderly before making one slow lick along the edge of her ear, up to the very top. Sakura gave a muffled moan at how wonderful it felt, creating a small tingle in the pit of her stomach. She managed to break away from his lips so she could explore her tongue along the nape of his neck. She swirled it in circles, pressing firmly against his skin. Feeling his heart beating faster underneath her hand on his chest, she explored up his neck to the edge of his ear like he had done to her. He could feel her breath against his ear which was sending chills up his spine.

"Mm, Sakura…"

He could feel her smile against his ear in response. Unable to keep his hands at bay, he slowly brought them to the sides of her waist and turned her body underneath him against the grass. His chest pressed against hers as he found her lips again while he explored one hand up the side of her waist. Kakashi was slowly losing himself in each heated kiss he began planting on the top of her collar bone, exploring his tongue further on her bare skin that her top revealed. The sweet taste was so incredibly addicting. Hesitantly testing his boundaries, he traced his hand along the edge of her breast over the fabric of her shirt. Kissing the side of her neck now, he slowly dragged his fingers to the very top of her breast giving a light squeeze. She gave another muffled moan in response.

"Ka-kashi..."

"Mm?"

"I…" Sakura was having a hard time finding her breath with each pass of Kakashi's tongue against her neck. "I…need to tell you something. B-Before we end up getting too far…"

He stopped to look into her eyes, wondering if she was feeling uncomfortable. He must have gone too far. "What's up?"

"I don't know if you'll be mad or something…"

"Why would I be mad?"

"I'm um… _Stillsortofavirgin_ ," Sakura said while rushing the ending part out of embarrassment. "So, well, I'm open to just about anything else… Just not _that_ yet…"

"Sakura, that's perfectly fine. I respect that. Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know… I almost did it once with someone and I stopped at the last minute. He broke up with me a few days after that…"

"Well that guy's an asshole. I only want to do what you're comfortable with. So just let me know if I ever go too far. I'll never be mad about it, okay? Last thing I want is for you to think that's what I only care about. It's not. I care about _you_."

"Thanks, makes me feel a bit relieved," she replied with a sigh.

"Don't worry, okay?"

"Okay. So, where were we…" Sakura shyly smiled up at him as she held her hands around his neck. Kakashi slid his hands down her sides and began to make her mouth his once more. Tentatively, he slid a hand up the top of her thigh up towards and then under the folds of fabric of her top.

"Does that bother you?"

"N-No. Exact opposite."

Kakashi sucked the bottom of her lip and then trailed down her neck with his tongue. Sakura couldn't understand how something so simple felt so good. She could feel his hand explore the top of her slender stomach to the sides of her ribs. His fingertips were barely touching the top of her skin at first, which gave her goosebumps, before fully settling his hand to rub against her. He could feel the bottom edge of her bra. With a thumb, he glided barely under it. Sakura couldn't resist arching her back in response of wanting to feel more of his touch. Placing her hands slowly down his back, she really wanted to feel his skin. One of her hands slipped underneath the side of his cotton shirt. His skin felt so smooth with a mix of toned muscle. Her other hand decided to explore his back near the edge of his spine. Trailing her fingers lightly, she found a spot on his smooth back that turned into a few bumpy lines of what felt like… scars?

"Kakashi…"

He stopped what he was doing to find worry in her eyes.

"What happened to your back?"

A flash of memories came to mind, though he didn't particularly care to share at the moment or maybe ever. He sighed and rolled off of her to lie in the grass, taking a moment to catch his breath. He decided to say what he usually replied with if anyone ever asked.

"Accident."

"With your bike or something…?"

"Not exactly."

"Then, what happened?"

"I don't… really want to talk about it."

Sakura propped herself against her elbows. She was starting to feel guilty now for even mentioning them. Maybe it was a really bad accident and she was bringing back some painful memories for him of whatever happened. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to–"

"It's okay," he said cutting in. His eyes glanced to her face which was starting to look sad. He sighed. He didn't mean to make her feel bad. "Come here," he added.

He leaned her down towards his chest to lie into the grass with him. He wished the scars on his back could disappear, but much like the memories attached to them, he knew better. He stroked his fingers lightly in her hair as he stared into the night's sky. Sakura still looked a bit down as she gazed at the side of his face. Slowly, she turned her eyes at the stars with him. What was it that he didn't want to say? She wished she could know. Maybe in time he'd reveal to her what happened. They lay in the splinters of the moonlit grass for awhile, while a subtle breeze washed over them occasionally. Sakura felt so comfortable wrapped in his arm around her shoulders.

The moon was up high before Kakashi broke into the long silence. "Sakura." Kakashi looked to find her sleeping against his chest. He smiled at how beautiful she looked. "Sakura…"

Sakura made an inaudible mumble in response as she stirred. She stretched before realizing she must have fallen asleep.

"Come on, sleepyhead."

Kakashi sat them upwards. He stood and reached out a hand to pull her up. Her legs felt a little weak, but she managed to stand. He held her by the hand as they made their way down the small hill to his parked car. Kakashi let go of his hold on her as he began to fumble in his pockets for his keys.

"Um…" He doubled checked every pocket in his jeans, including the one on his outer shirt. "Eh…" he began to say.

"What's wrong?"

"I seemed to have misplaced my keys…" He tried opening the car handle by chance it wasn't locked. It was locked.

"Okay…" Kakashi checked the door on the driver's side. Locked. Sakura turned her gaze back to the hill.

"Maybe it's where we were?"

"Mmm…"

Kakashi cupped a hand to peer inside the car. He noticed the shine of a key that was still hanging in the ignition.

"Fuck."

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, this chapter has cheese written all over it, but I couldn't stop myself. _-sprays canned cheese whiz on cookies-_ I think I beat the record again in word count too. _-puts even more cheese on them and gives them to you-_
> 
> Review?
> 
> Chapter edited by: _CelestialCircumference_


	12. Jumble of Doubt

**Chapter 12: Jumble of Doubt**

Kakashi sighed as he pressed his head against the cool glass of his car, staring sullenly inside. He was pretty sure the keys in the ignition were purposely mocking him as they slightly swayed from his leaning against the car. This wasn't the first time he had forgotten his keys inside. Maybe it was because he drove his motorcycle more often so he didn't ever give much thought about it. That was the beauty of it; it was idiot proof. You couldn't lock your keys _inside_. He had a bad habit of locking the car from the door panel on the driver's side before he exited. Usually he had a spare key, but that was also in his wallet - inside the car. He also had another spare clipped on his keys he used for his bike, but that was at home.

"I suppose I could try and break the window," Kakashi said, his breath fogging the glass as he spoke.

"Break it? No, don't do that," Sakura replied worriedly.

Kakashi sighed as he stood up while interlacing his fingers on top of his silvery head. "There isn't much choice. We have no money, no phone, and every place except for bars is closed right now. We can't get anyone to unlock it for us until the morning."

"We could walk…"

Kakashi held back a laugh. "That would take us hours to get back."

"Well, we have all night?"

Kakashi looked at her grinning face questionably, not entirely sure if she was being serious or not. His eyes searched the dark ground for any kind of decent sized rock. All he could make out were some pebble sized ones, which would hardly do any damage. Maybe he could find some bigger rocks deeper inside the park. Though he supposed he could try and use his martial art skills to break it, but it was likely he'd end up embedding more glass in his skin...

He tried to think of what other options they had. They were outside of the city. There were hardly any local homes or businesses unless they crossed back over the bridge, but that was like an hour away. If they did walk all the way back to the edge of the city, he could probably call someone. Or actually, the park they were at now should have a public phone somewhere, but they'd need change. Ugh. This was turning into a nightmare.

' _Phone…'_

He did leave it in the car too, right? His memory only recalled putting up his book and wallet in the glove box. Did he have it? But it wasn't in his pockets when he checked earlier. Kakashi's eyes turned toward the small hill they had been at. It was worth a shot to check.

"I'm going to check the hill real quick. Be right back," he said as he began to jog towards the hill.

Sakura leaned against the hood of the car as she watched him jog off in the distance. She really didn't mind being stuck like this. It was actually quite funny how things were turning out. She also couldn't help but want to spend more time with him. This night could never end as far as she cared. She smiled at that thought as she turned her attention back to the stars that sparkled overhead.

Kakashi looked carefully around where they were last. Stepping lightly onto the grass, he tried to see if the glimmer of the moon reflected off of anything that could possibly be his phone. His eyes caught sight of a small shimmer as he walked. He stepped back slowly to try and find it again. There it was. He did bring his phone. He briefly thanked all the divine powers that be in finding it. Dusting off a few blades of grass and dirt when he picked it up, it seemed to be working just fine. Now who could he call… and not be indebted to for the rest of his life? That already crossed off a lot of his friends. Given what time it was, which was around 1:00 am on a Saturday night, a few were probably already wasted at some bar by now. That excluded even more people. Thinking more about what today's date was, one of his good friends should actually be in town. His mind settled on giving him a try. Scrolling through his contact list, he found the number he was looking for. He cleared his throat and prepared to try to give the best guilt trip performance ever.

"Hey, sorry to call you so late. It's Kakashi. Are you in Tokyo visiting this weekend? Oh, good. Well, I'm in a bit of bind. I have a small favor to ask and since you're my most _reliable_ _friend_ ever in the world you could help me, _right?_ "

There was a moment of silence over the phone.

"Okay, okay, well I locked my keys in the car… yeah again, and my wallet. Even my book. I'm pretty distraught about it. Do you think you could, um, pick up me and my friend and take us to my place? Or… If you can't I guess I could walk. I could probably be home by sunrise... Oh, you can? Great! Well, I'm at Sansui Park. Yeah, the one outside of town. I know it's a little over an hour trip for you… I'll pay for gas and, um, whatever else you want. Okay, thanks. I owe you... yes… _a lot_. Thank you."

Kakashi let out a sigh of relief as he ended the call. He was lucky his friend was in Tokyo visiting some family. At least that was settled. Now he had to wonder how uncomfortable it was going to get when his friend got here. Since he was a teacher at the same place he was, he probably knew Sakura. No telling what he'd think about the situation they were in. Kakashi hadn't been open with anyone about their relationship yet, or why he was skipping a lot of his usual outings to be with Sakura. He supposed he'd have to deal with it sooner than later anyway. With a shrug, he walked back down the hill. Sakura sat on top of his car with her feet dangling above the ground.

"I found my phone back where we were, thankfully. I called a friend to come pick us up. It will be awhile until he gets here," he said.

"Oh, good! Though I'm a little disappointed we don't get to walk for several hours."

"I'm _sure_ you are."

Sakura smiled as she began leaning back against the windshield of his car, arms crossed. She let out a yawn. "I'm getting really tired already," she murmured while closing her eyes.

"Get some sleep for a little bit."

Sakura opened her eyes slightly to reach her arms towards Kakashi. "Come up here with me."

He smiled, making his way to where she was, and hopped up on the hood. He placed an arm around her and leaned her into his chest. He was glad today didn't end up too terribly bad. It could have been a lot worse. Kakashi rested his eyes for a moment, listening to a breeze intertwining its way between the branches of trees that surrounded them. A few crickets would grow silent, and then chirp again once the air was still once more. It wasn't before long he had fallen asleep with her.

The crunch of gravel in the distance stirred him awake. A pair of headlights slowly traveled up the road to where they were. It was most likely his friend. Kakashi gave a small shake to Sakura as she still lay against him.

"Mm?" she mumbled.

"I think our ride's here."

"Oh, okay," she replied back with a yawn.

Kakashi pulled up his mask, almost forgetting it had been down this whole time, and slid off of the hood to walk into the clearing of the parking lot. The car drove up in front of Kakashi and rolled the window down on the driver's side. His friend peered at him with an annoyed face.

"Hello, _good, good_ friend of mine," Kakashi said with a sheepish smile.

"Hi, Kakashi. You owe me big time," he replied glumly.

"Sure, sure," he replied quickly as he motioned Sakura to come. She peeked behind Kakashi shyly, unable to see who his friend was in the dark. Kakashi opened the back door for her to enter. She slid in and flinched once she realized who was staring at her in the rear-view mirror. A young man with dark eyes and a light scar that ran across the bridge of his nose stared back at her. She was very much aware of who he was.

"Haruno… Sakura?"

"Hello… Iruka-sensei."

Sakura wanted to die. She never thought she would meet another ex-teacher of hers. Though she slowly realized it would make sense that Kakashi was friends with a lot of the teachers from middle and high school where she had attended. It seemed like she had just left her hometown forever ago, but in some ways it was not. She wondered if it was really alright for other people to know about them. She did _just_ graduate only a few months ago. How would that look to people? It would probably just make their relationship seem even weirder.

"Why is she here…?" Iruka asked slowly towards Kakashi, after he slid into the front passenger seat.

"Um…"

"Alone in a dark park with you…"

Sakura began sinking lower into her seat, trying to avoid anymore questioning glances from Iruka in the rear-view mirror.

"It's complicated."

"Uh-huh…" Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose with two fingers and let out a sigh. "Okay… So we're going to your place?"

"Yep. Do you still remember?"

"Yeah, but shouldn't we perhaps drop Sakura off wherever she lives first?"

"Well, I live closer where we are right now and I'll just take her home once I get my other set of keys. So, I don't want to trouble you any more than that."

Iruka let out another troubling sigh. "Fine, I guess."

Reluctantly he began to shift the car to head back down the road. Kakashi could see how uncomfortable Iruka was; it was written all over his face, probably thinking of the questionable relationship between him and Sakura.

Kakashi cleared his throat, breaking into the silence. "So, um, thanks for coming to get us. I'm pretty sure I won't lock my keys in again after this…"

"You better hope so. You're lucky I was visiting Tokyo this weekend."

"Yeah, I remembered your father's birthday was this week and I figured you'd be down. So, how's your family doing?"

"They're doing as well as they can be. They keep getting older and older. So, you haven't visited in a while since you moved, Kakashi. Been busy with school?"

"Um, yeah, I forget how to be _in_ classes now."

Iruka chuckled at that. "I suppose that would be a little strange after teaching for so long. Did you decide if you're going to come back after you finish?"

"Maybe."

"Hum, I see. So Sakura…" Iruka said as he shifted his gaze into the mirror. She was still trying to hide in the backseat.

"Yes..?"

"What have you been up to since I last saw you at, um, graduation?"

"Oh, well, I moved to Tokyo to go to school here."

"I see… How do you and Kakashi know each other?"

A small awkward silence.

"We have a class together…" she said finally.

"I see…"

Iruka looked like he was debating on saying something more. Sakura was hoping he'd avoid any more questions about her and Kakashi. Maybe she should pretend to fall asleep, though she was wide awake from her nap earlier. The drive back was going to be a long one. Thankfully, he didn't say much else, but the silence was almost deafening to her. Part of her wished she could hold Kakashi like they did earlier for some kind of assurance. Kakashi simply stared out of the window, expressionless looking as usual. After about an hour and a half they were reaching a nice looking suburb.

"I forget, is it this road?" Iruka asked.

"Not this one, but the next one."

They turned onto the street and shortly after that, pulled into the driveway of a two story house.

' _So this is where Kakashi lives,'_ Sakura thought.

It was kind of strange being in a place so personal to him, but it was certainly very intriguing. She hoped she'd get to explore inside a bit, even though she was feeling super tired again right now. The clock on the dashboard said it was a little after 5: 00 am now. Iruka turned off the car while he let out a yawn.

"Thanks again, Iruka," Kakashi said tiredly.

"You're welcome. Um, do you mind if I talked with you… alone?" Iruka asked while hesitantly glancing at a sleepy Sakura in the back.

"Could it wait until tomorrow? Well, later today? I'll be coming by your place anyway to pay you for the trouble."

"Rather now."

Kakashi sighed. "Okay, Sakura can you wait by the front door for me?"

Sakura nodded as she unbuckled her belt and opened the car door. She shut it quietly before giving one last awkward look towards Kakashi. He tried to give her a reassuring smile before she made her way towards the house. The smell of fresh cut grass washed over Sakura's senses. She was always really fond of that scent. She walked towards the front steps of the house through the wet dewy slivers of grass. Sitting at the steps now, she bit her lip, wondering what exactly they were talking about. It was more than likely about her. She felt awkward looking towards the car, so she shifted her body to admire the rest of the neighborhood surrounding them. It seemed really nice and quiet here. Compared to where she lived with Ino, there was always constant movement in the streets surrounding their apartment building, and here it was so still. Part of her really admired how he got to live in and own a place like this, but it all the more reminded her of how much younger she was compared to him. She wondered what it would be like to live here with Kakashi…

' _That's thinking way too ahead,'_ she thought embarrassingly.

Iruka rubbed his face as his eyes searched for exactly what words to say. Leaning his head against the palm of his hand, his elbow rested on the door panel.

He sighed and said, "Kakashi, please tell me this isn't what it looks like… between you and Sakura."

"Okay, then it's not. Does that make you feel better?"

"Are you telling the truth?"

"No."

"…"

Iruka looked even more troubled as he gave another sigh. "Kakashi, you're over a decade older than her. We've been friends for a long time now, but I never thought you would stoop to something like this."

"Stoop?"

"You're taking advantage of her and frankly, that's pretty disgusting..."

Kakashi couldn't help but feel a flush of anger. He fought back the urge to punch something. After a moment of reclaiming his nerves, he replied, "That's not what's going on here."

"Then what's going on?"

"Things just happened. I don't know. You think I don't know how messed up it looks? But I care about her a lot and she feels the same… So, it is what it is."

"She's still a kid, Kakashi."

"…"

"Furthermore, I can't help but think…" Iruka's words faded out as if he didn't want to finish them.

"Think what…?"

"She was in one of your classes right?"

"Yes, and…?"

"Well, you didn't start all this when she was still going to middle and high school? Did you…?"

Kakashi felt his anger flaring up again. "Did you _really_ just suggest that? You've known me for so long and you think I'd do something like that?"

He began to open the car door to leave. Part of him felt angry that Iruka was more or less right about their age difference, which opened a floodgate of guilt, but suggesting he would have started the relationship while she was still in middle school just pissed him off. He wasn't taking advantage of her… was he? He heard Iruka call out his name, but he shut the door deciding to end their conversation at that. Sakura looked at him worriedly as he approached.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Fine."

Sakura felt her gut drop at his tone. He definitely didn't sound fine. Kakashi picked up a potted plant near the doorway and dug through the soil to reveal a key. Sakura wondered how often he lost his keys exactly. He unlocked the door and held it open for her.

Inside now, her eyes scanned the entryway. It led into a decent sized hallway. Only a couple of his shoes were visible at the genkan. Other than that, it looked pretty empty besides a few seldom furniture pieces. She could hear Iruka pulling away into the street shortly after Kakashi closed the door.

"Let me get my other keys and I'll take you home."

"Kakashi…"

"Yes?"

"It would probably be better if I just stayed here. I mean… the sun is almost up and we haven't really slept yet. So…"

"I don't know…"

"It's not a big deal, and I really don't want you to drive if you're tired anyway."

"I'll be fine."

"Kakashi…"

Kakashi sighed and took in a deep breath, slowly defusing his anger. He really was pretty tired right now. "Okay."

Sakura had a gleeful kind of smile in response. After they took off their shoes, she followed Kakashi up a set of stairs. Once upstairs, they passed by a room that was closed shut. To the right was the bathroom and straight ahead was his bedroom. He led them to his room and flicked on a light. He began to rummage through his walk-in closet. Sakura was starting to feel a little nervous for some reason as she stood, unsure of what to do.

"You can sleep in my room… and I'll just be, um, downstairs," He said from within the closet before coming out with a few sets of clothes.

"Oh, well, you don't have to…" Sakura said while fighting back a blush.

"I think it'd be a good idea if I did…"

Sakura frowned slightly at that. They were together now, but… well so what if they slept in the same bed together. They didn't have to necessarily _do_ anything. More embarrassment seemed to color her cheeks. Kakashi hid a smirk at her blush. Iruka's words were still echoing around in his head. There was no way he could sleep with her and not feel even guiltier.

He handed her a simple cotton t-shirt. "You can sleep in that if you want. I'm going to change in the bathroom."

"Okay," she replied as she took it. He disappeared into the hallway and closed the door behind him. Her eyes searched over his room. There were all kinds of scattered things somewhat neatly placed throughout the room. It varied from papers to some interesting decorative objects. On the wall there were a lot of various certificates and awards he had won. A tall bookshelf stood in one corner and she paled at all of the Icha Icha books that took up about three shelves. Snapping her eyes back to the shirt in her hands, she figured she should start changing before he came back to find her half naked. Quickly, she took off her top and shrugged off her pants to the floor. Pulling the soft shirt over her head, she could already smell his scent. Part of her really wished he could sleep next to her. She was already starting to miss his touch. Picking up her clothes from the floor, she neatly folded them and placed them on top of a chest that was placed at the foot of the bed. Her curiosity was prodding at her to peek inside.

' _What if… it's filled with porn?'_

That thought made her apprehensive to pry, but what else could it be? She slowly sunk down to her knees, and began to approach with a finger to open the latch. A soft knock made her jump straight up from her spot. Trying to collect herself, she distanced herself from it, trying not to look obvious that she had been snooping.

"You can come in."

Kakashi walked in hesitantly as his eyes looked her up and down. Sakura stood somewhat embarrassed, twirling the end of his shirt she wore. It barely covered the top of her thighs and the way she was picking up one end of the shirt, he could almost see her panties. He decided it was a very good thing he was sleeping downstairs as he tried to hide an uncomfortable blush from his now maskless face. He wore his usual pajama pants and for the sake of modesty, wore a somewhat snug white shirt to sleep in. Averting his eyes, he walked to the closet to drop off his dirty clothes into a hamper. From there, he went to the bed and pick up one of the pillows to sleep with downstairs. He tapped the bed for her to lie down. She slowly made her way to his bed and sunk under the covers.

He adjusted the sheets over her and said, "Well, I'll see you a little bit later in the morning, alright?"

"Okay,"

He gave her another reassuring smile, before he turned to leave. He flicked off the light as he hugged the pillow in his arms. "Goodnight."

"Night," she replied, somewhat disappointed.

Sakura hoped he'd at least kiss or hug her one last time before they parted for the night. He disappeared beyond the doorway and she heard his steps slowly fade away the further he went downstairs. She sighed, and clinging the pillow against her face, she turned on her side. He did look pretty upset after he talked with Iruka. Maybe he was having doubts about them now or… No. She was just reading too much into things. They had an amazing date today with an unexpected ending to it. She was sure he'd be okay after they both slept for the night. Birds were already chirping behind the covered window above the bed. She closed her eyes and found sleep rather quickly.

Kakashi tossed the pillow on the couch as he rubbed his tired eyes. Letting his body fall onto the couch, he couldn't keep his mind from straying away from thinking about what Iruka said. Maybe he really was a disgusting person. He had finally come to terms with the fact that he was simply acting on what he felt. Age be damned between them, but Iruka was right, wasn't he? He really didn't have any business being with her. She was still impressionable. Sakura did just move out of her parent's house just barely a few months ago. It was hard to justify that she could make any adult decisions. Was he manipulating her feelings? Or…

Groaning into his pillow in desperation, he decided to stop thinking about it for now. He was just upset and not thinking clearly. He hoped to feel better in the morning. Adjusting his body comfortably on the couch, he wondered if he really would feel any different in the morning. He hoped so.

_TBC_


	13. Between Right and Wrong

**Chapter 13: Between Right and Wrong**

Sakura opened her eyes to find herself curled in a ball. The sheets were completely knocked onto the floor. She seemed to move around in her sleep sometimes. She slowly stretched out on her back as a yawn escaped her lips. A warm beam of light poked behind a set of dark green curtains which barely reached the edge of the bed. She still felt really tired, but figured she should get up. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she placed her bare feet on the wooden floor which creaked when she stood up. Her eyes looked curiously to a curtain covering a sliding door to the side of the room. She walked to it and lifted a single finger to pull back the fabric to find a balcony. It was a wooden deck looking out towards some of the neighboring trees. It looked rather pretty how one branch seemed to intertwine itself along one of the banisters. Pulling back from the door, she glanced back towards the room and fought back another yawn. She figured she should see if Kakashi was awake yet.

She left the room and entered the hallway. From a distant window down the hall, the soft morning's light reflected onto the bare walls which shined over the glossy wooden floor. Sakura wondered if he usually kept it undecorated like this or if it was because he had just moved here. Fighting back the urge to look around, she made her way down the steps cautiously. There weren't any lights on as far as she could tell. Within a few steps she was in the living room. Kakashi was lying on his back with one arm behind his head against the pillow and the other hung almost delicately over the side of the couch. She found herself smiling, admiring how peaceful and cute he looked. It was sort of strange seeing him so vulnerable in that way. Sakura bit her lip wondering if she should let him sleep a little longer.

' _Maybe I should see about making us some breakfast?'_

At that thought, she turned back towards the hallway. There were two more rooms downstairs of which one of the doors was open. Glancing inside as she walked by, it looked sort of like a training room by the exercise equipment that caught her eye. Going further back past the stairs, an open archway led to the kitchen and adjoining dining room. It looked somewhat traditional compared to most modern houses. A dark cherry-colored wooden U-shaped counter made up the kitchen. There was a simple sink and a stove which was inset in a white-tiled stone. The counters were mostly bare except in the corner where there was a coffee maker and a rice cooker. Wooden cabinets were lined against the wall above most of the counters and on the far end was a tall refrigerator. Complimenting the wood finish of the kitchen, on the other side of the counter, there was a simple dining table that could seat six people.

Sakura looked out the window of the side door which revealed the backyard. The open lawn led up to the edge of a wooden fence that enclosed the house. Nested against it were several trees with sparse clusters of various plants and flowers that seemed well maintained. Sunlight washed over the ground in a soft white light through the tall swaying trees.

' _Hum, Kakashi must like gardening. Maybe?'_

She smirked in satisfaction of learning something else about Kakashi. She secretly hoped she would get a chance to go outside later as she admired how beautiful it looked. Stepping back from the door, she went to the kitchen area. Opening the fridge, she peered inside to find there were various fresh foods ranging from vegetables and fruits to deli meats. Compared to what she had back at the apartment she felt so unhealthy. A carton of eggs were in the back along with some fresh packaged fish. She picked the eggs up and placed them on the counter. Searching through the cabinets for what kind of pans and sauces he had, she decided she could make a simple tamagoyaki* along with some steamed rice. She hoped he didn't mind her cooking two of the fresh fish she saw earlier. As she prepared everything, she couldn't help but feel sort of happy where she was right now. It was almost surreal to her that she was inside Kakashi's house. It was strange, yet comforting in a lot of ways. She certainly was starting to wish she could stay longer.

Kakashi stirred from his pillow as he smelled something rather delicious in the air. He turned his body expecting to have room to stretch, and instead he almost fell off the side of the couch. Luckily, his hand made it in time before he completely fell off. He had almost forgotten he had slept downstairs for the night. Pushing himself back up into a sitting position, he rubbed his eyes feeling a little more alert now. He felt so tired from not sleeping all that well.

It had been quite impossible for him to stop thinking about Sakura last night. He had hoped he would feel better, but the same burdening feeling was still sitting in his chest, like he was doing something wrong. But wasn't that one of his fears to begin with way before they even initiated some kind of relationship? He wasn't as mentally prepared as he thought he was. Iruka was a close friend of his and he guessed it touched a nerve deeper than any random person's opinion ever could. He didn't account for the possibility of feeling that way about it, or that his friend would suggest something so outlandish… Would everyone else think that way, too? His heart sunk a little lower.

Scooting to the edge of the couch, he stood up and stretched again. He followed his curiosity of the scent that was invading his home. Walking silently into the kitchen, he was amused at watching Sakura try to reach up to one of the top cabinets for what he guessed was a plate. She stood on her toes as one leg extended with a pointed foot. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the revealed bottom of her oversized shirt that was picked up above her hip bone while she stretched. He was surprised at what he was staring at: black, lacy panties. He really wished he hadn't have seen that. Suddenly his mood turned from slightly depressed to aroused. Sighing at himself, he tried to pull himself together as he approached warily.

"Morning," he said casually.

Sakura jumped in surprise at his voice behind her and blushed. "Morning, Kakashi," she replied warmly.

Just hearing Sakura's voice was already making him forget for a moment about his reservations. It amazed him how she had the unconscious power to do that to him. He gave a small grin noticing her blush, and picked out two plates from where she was stretching for earlier, and then placed them on the counter.

"I guess I'm a bit short," she added while staring at the plates.

"It was amusing watching you trying to reach." He wouldn't dare reveal specifically why.

"Those top cabinets are about as high as Mount Fuji," she sighed.

"Not my fault you're short."

Sakura gave a playful huff and turned back to her cooking. Kakashi peeked over her shoulder looking rather surprised. "I didn't know you could cook."

"Well, I have had some casualties… I mean… _unfavorable_ events from the last thing I made, but I figure you could be my next victim. I mean… no, actually victim sounds about right." She smiled at his worried face.

With one arm she pushed him back from hovering and trying to figure out if she really did know what she was doing or not. "Go sit. It's almost done."

"Am I going to die…?"

"Maybe."

"Hum, yeah…"

He began to back away slowly towards the hallway, fearing her description of him being a victim. Catching sight of where he was going, she left the stove top still clutching a spatula in one hand, to pull him by the shirt towards the table.

"Sit."

Since when did she get so domineering? Part of him couldn't help but be greatly intrigued by it. He obediently sat while watching her smirk as she went back to finish cooking.

"So demanding," he muttered lightheartedly.

"Huh, what was that?"

"Nothing."

Sakura smiled at him with a quick glance. He returned a smile as he interlocked his fingers together to rest under his chin. His heart felt a kind of warmth as he watched her. This was why he had such strong feelings for her in the first place. Who else could make him feel this way? He really wished he could leave all the negative feelings, doubts, and worries behind him. It would just make it so much easier, but he supposed that's how life was. It was never easy - at least never to him.

A plate filled with neatly cut tamagoyaki and baked fish was placed in front of him. After putting a bowl of rice for them to share on the table, Sakura sat across from him with her own plate and handed him a pair of chopsticks. He tried to look at the plate like he was apprehensive to eat it because of her jests earlier, but it actually looked really good. The delicious smell was almost mouthwatering. Sakura began to eat, but stopped to look at him eagerly when he hadn't made any move to try it yet.

"Well, try it!"

"Hold on, since my life is at stake."

He closed his eyes and mouthed a silent prayer with the palms of his hands joined together. Sakura eyed him amusingly. Once he was finished, she still waited for him to take a bite. "Tryyyy it."

"Wait. I can't take chances." He tapped over a salt shaker to throw some over his shoulder for good luck.

"Ugh, Kakashi."

"Okay, okay."

Finally he ate a piece of fish, while making his face unreadable to her as he chewed. "Humm…"

"Well?"

"It's…"

"It's…?"

"Very delicious," Kakashi said with a smile. "Now really, how do you know how to cook so well?"

Sakura made a satisfied grin from his comment and began to try it herself. "Secret."

Kakashi was amused thinking of how the roles slightly reversed from yesterday and now _he_ was feeling left out and wanting to know more. It wasn't fun if he wasn't the one holding secrets.

"Tell me."

"Maybe later," she replied.

"Please?"

"Nope."

He grumbled in response and continued eating. Sakura munched happily feeling as if she must have won some kind of battle against him, which was a rare feat. They talked for a little bit. Sakura still felt like he wasn't saying something that he was thinking. She figured she'd ask him later. After they were finished eating Kakashi insisted on taking care of the dishes, much to Sakura's protests.

"Ugh, well, what else can I do?" Sakura asked as she tried to poke her hand in the sink to help, but she kept getting swiped away.

"Mm, well… I should take you home. So you should get dressed."

"Oh, do I have to?"

"…"

Sakura blushed. "What I mean is… can I just spend the day with you?"

"Mm, I don't know…"

"Please?"

"You probably shouldn't even be here in the first place…"

"Why not?"

Kakashi sighed, not really sure how to answer. He did want to be with her more, didn't he? Seeing her only at the college was driving him insane with anticipation, especially now since that they had just gotten closer. He knew what was nagging at him subconsciously, much to the thanks of not only Iruka, but the same doubts that have been plaguing him to involve himself in this relationship.

Hearing Sakura categorized as just a kid - it made him feel guilty and conflicted between his mind and heart. He was dragging under the weight of what anyone would expect an _adult_ to do in this situation. Like not letting her stay overnight with him. It would certainly be any parent's nightmare to learn something like that, but for any normal adult couple there really wasn't anything wrong with it. Then there were the preconceived notions like Iruka suggested that made him all the more weary. Views that he was manipulating her to be with him because she was _too young_ to know any better was simply aggravating.

"Because…" he replied hesitantly.

"I want to spend more time with you," Sakura said softly as she held him around his waist from behind.

She couldn't stop herself from wanting to hold him again. It felt like it had been ages. Kakashi stood for a moment, surprised at the slender arms that clung to his waist. He wiped his soapy hands on a dry towel and then opened her grasp a little for him to turn her against his chest.

Sakura gave a heavy sigh. "Kakashi, I can tell since last night you've seemed upset…"

He avoided her gaze after she said that as she looked up at him. Figuring she must have guessed correctly, she continued, "What did you and Iruka talk about last night?"

"Well, about us," he replied.

"And?"

"He wasn't thrilled about it and made a few points... and accusations."

"What do you mean?"

"That I'm basically manipulating you…"

"How does he figure that? I'm here with you because I want to be."

"That you're still too young… to be with me like this."

"Kakashi, I may be young, but I'm not stupid. No one forced me to be with you. I'm not a child."

"I don't know, Sakura." He held her closer trying to think of how to say it. "I just can't help but wonder if it's right or wrong for us to be together."

"What are you thinking now about us then…?" Sakura stepped back, worried about what he might say next.

"That it's wrong."

Feeling her heart drop, she could begin to feel her throat starting to burn. She held her breath and sharply turned away, not wanting him to see the tears that were beginning to sting her eyes.

"Ka-kashi," she sputtered in a weak voice. "I thought we agreed that all the reservations and whatever else didn't matter as long as we took it on… together. One day at a time."

"But I…"

It finally dawned on him. This was the first test of their relationship. He had utterly failed them.

Iruka was almost like a brother to him and his words stung more than he could have ever anticipated. He knew it was a possibility, and there would likely be many others who would feel the same, but they didn't know them or anything about their relationship. He had forgotten that. They don't know. They wouldn't understand. Their relationship was still new and raw, but his feelings for her were real. Her feelings for him were real. It was the suggestion that she was still some child that made it hard for him to deal with, more than he realized until now. His memory of her from middle school filled his mind for a moment. She wasn't that person anymore.

"You're right," he finally said.

"So, now you just want to give up?"

"That's not what I want." He tried to pull at her shoulder to make her look at him, but she wasn't budging from her spot.

"Then what _do_ you want?" she muttered.

" _You_ , Sakura. I'm sorry… I just… His opinion bothered me more than I realized… and then I began to doubt myself again. I… It's no excuse, Sakura. Please, look at me."

Sakura placed a hand around her face still trying to avoid his gaze. Pulling her shoulders back into his chest he finally managed to spin her around to face him. His heart wretched at what he saw. Tears were streaming down her face. Her chest shook with muffled sobs trying to escape past her lips. He didn't mean to make her cry…

"Sakura…"

He brought his hands to her red face to wipe away her tears.

"Don't."

Kakashi froze where he touched her cheek, feeling even worse. His chest began to well up with panic.

She finally looked up at him with her piercing green eyes. "Don't ever scare me like that again. I… thought…"

"I'm really sorry, Sakura. I didn't mean for you to think I wanted to end it… I almost forgot the reason why I'm here with you. Why I want to be with you. Why I shouldn't care what people might think. I _do_ want to be with you."

Kakashi lowered himself to kiss her. He could taste the salt of her tears on the edge of her soft lips. He felt worthless right now in making her upset. He kissed her deeper, wanting to make her forget. Sakura slid her hands up the sides of his ribs until they linked around his neck. Pulling him closer, she had really missed holding him and kissing him.

When their kiss finally broke, Kakashi still wanted to reassure her that everything was okay. They would be okay. "Sakura, I…"

Sakura began to trail light kisses down his neck before he could finish. Her soft lips dragged against his skin as she worked her way around to the other side of his neck. Kakashi was having a hard time thinking clearly of whatever he was going to say when she began to explore his skin with the tip of her tongue.

Unable to keep himself from responding, he began to take control, kissing from the collar of the shirt she was wearing up to her ear. He bit along the edge of her earlobe, earning a stifled moan from her in response. He ran his tongue from the tip of her ear down to her neck and started to suck tenderly against her skin. Sakura was starting to feel weak in the knees as he continued. Feeling her slipping beneath him as he kissed, he held her by the waist and in a quick motion set her on the edge of the kitchen counter. She let out a startled gasp at the sudden movement as well as from the shock of cold tile beneath her. Something plastic had fallen to the floor when her hand suddenly knocked it, but neither of them seemed to care at the moment what it was.

"Kakashi," Sakura said in a surprised whisper.

Kakashi knew he should stop himself, but all notions of sense and worry seemed to have fled his brain with each passing kiss. His hands traced down from her waist to the sides of her thighs. Pulling her knees closer around his hips, the tips of his fingers dug softly into her smooth legs as he continued his kisses at her neck. Sakura glided her hands into his messy hair and felt her lips covered by his again. His tongue swirled with hers almost competitively. She could feel his hands tentatively slide up her legs and over the sides of her panties underneath her shirt. Sakura's cheeks flush with heat as he did that. Trying to hide her sudden nervous embarrassment, she traced her fingers down his spine. She wanted to attempt to try and feel under his shirt again… except not to freak out like she did last time when she felt scars on his back. She wanted to let him know that she wasn't actually bothered by them. It didn't matter what he looked liked. She just wanted to feel him for who he was - scars and all.

Carefully, she explored her hands over his toned sides beneath his shirt, and shifted her palms to glide down his back. He hesitated in his kisses as she did this. She started to slowly kiss his jaw as a kind of assurance. There were a few tender lines of flesh near the middle of his back that were raised against the rest of his smooth skin, but didn't feel strange to her. Looking for any signs of pain as she explored him, he never made an indication that it did hurt. She further kissed along his jaw until she met his lips while she moved her hands across his strong back.

Feeling more at ease now, she became more adventurous in exploring. She reached one hand from his back and slid it over his abdomen. It felt so amazing against her fingers. Part of her was wishing he wasn't wearing a shirt. Deciding to act on that thought, she began to pull up the edges of the bottom hem. He obliged as he broke their kiss to pull his shirt completely off over his head, and tossed it to the floor behind him. She blushed for a moment, glancing at how he really did look just as amazing as he had felt. His physique almost seemed too perfect looking. It made her feel even more aware of how he was a man and not a young boy. Trying to compare him to any other experiences she had seemed like a joke.

Kakashi rubbed the sides of her stomach underneath the oversized shirt she wore, causing her to lean back. Taking in the opportunity of her position, he lowered himself and lifted the shirt slowly to just below her breast line. He licked a rough tongue over her belly button and continued over her ribs. She had to stop herself from pulling away because of how it was beginning to turn from pleasure into a tickle. Unable to resist wanting to explore more, he began to go higher, lifting the shirt up as he went from the center of her stomach over to the small connection of fabric of her bra between her breasts. Her arms lifted up, giving an okay for him to remove the overbearing shirt. After he pulled it over her head and tossed it away, he couldn't help but admire her deep blush as she shyly tried to cover herself in only her bra and panties. She looked so amazing to him.

"You're always beautiful, Sakura. You don't need to hide."

His comment made her even more bashful. Moving her guarded hands away slowly, he began to kiss her collarbone while following it down to her chest. Lapping his tongue over the top of her left breast, she withered from his touch. Her knees squeezed against the side of his hips in response. Hooking a leg behind him, she unconsciously wanted to feel against him more as she moved her hips closer to the edge of the counter. She hadn't expected to feel his arousal pressed between her legs.

"S-Sakura…" Kakashi stuttered her name, knowing he couldn't push on anymore without doing something he might regret later. He was way past the line where they should have stopped. They didn't need to rush anything, yet why was it so hard to pull away? Besides the fact she was looking unbelievably sexy half-naked on his kitchen counter.

Sakura felt her heart racing within her chest as she kept her hold of him, trying to hide her blushing face while also tightening her embrace around his sides. He just felt so incredible against her chest. His bare body against hers just felt so new and exciting. Kissing across the top of his shoulder, she could hear him grunt, trying to shift his hips, but he wasn't getting anywhere with the grip of her leg around him.

"Sakura, I can't… control myself… if I stay like this," he struggled to say between breaths.

Not only could he feel how warm she was against himself, but the small layers of soft fabric covering their intimate areas separating them almost felt like nothing was between them at all. Thankfully, he still held some sanity by not trying to discard any more of what little clothing was left or else all would have probably been lost in trying to hold himself back.

He tried to remember how exactly they ended up like this so early in the morning. She seemed unnerved against his plea as she continued to kiss him from his shoulder to his neck. Trying to achieve a little distance again, he felt the consequence of his hips grinding into hers making Sakura give a sharpened gasp against his ear. The feeling from that compelled him to want more. Hesitantly, he pulled both of her legs around his waist. She pressed her hips against him even more. He should stop. He really should, but it felt so wonderful. The shy moan against his neck just now was not helping him decide otherwise. He ground his hips into hers again.

Sakura had never felt anything so marvelous as he slowly pushed his hips repeatedly into hers. She couldn't help but whimper from how overwhelming it was as their bodies mashed together. Gasping for air between kisses, she tried to get a hold of her racing heart. His breaths quickly became just as staggered as hers with each thrust.

"Sakura," he groaned desperately.

A sudden knock caused them to snap back to reality of what exactly they were doing. They tried to catch their breaths while Sakura struggled to keep her sweaty hands steady against the counter. They briefly looked at each other in surprise.

Another knock sounded off. Who exactly decided to bother him right now and wanted to die an untimely death? Their eyes glanced towards the hallway that led to the front door.

' _I did lock the door last night, right?'_ Kakashi thought to himself. It would so be his luck that he didn't and one of his idiot friends would walk in…

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is now a bad time to remind you it's an adult rated fic? _-someone mutters yes-_ Oh. 
> 
> Your thoughts are appreciated! Also, I was curious if people find my paragraph lengths a bit long? I tend to notice in other fics they seem to be broken up a bit shorter. Or if that's just a writing style... _-reminds you I have no writing experience-_
> 
> *tamagoyaki = Japanese omelet
> 
> Chapter edited by: _CelestialCircumference_


	14. Pendulum

**Chapter 14: Pendulum**

Neither of them said anything as they looked back at each other, still struggling to catch their breath. The knocking seemed to have stopped. Sakura suddenly felt her face flush with embarrassment when she looked at the position of their bodies. Of course she was more than enjoying their position just barely a minute ago, but looking at it made her feel slightly mortified. Turning her green eyes upward to his, she was surprised at the vulnerable gaze Kakashi was giving her. She realized he must have completely lost himself in their moment earlier just as much as she had. Though she was embarrassed, she couldn't help but feel the urge between her legs to rock against him, to get that quickly fading feeling back. That feeling, traces of it could still be felt at her core which was still pressed tightly against him. Any slight movement between them made her sensitive area yearn more touch.

Her legs were starting to slip from Kakashi's now sweaty grip. He was unsure what to do now that they had awakened from whatever spell that bound them earlier. He felt Sakura's hips move unsurely against his, making him utter a grunt.

"Ka-kashi, please… don't stop."

"Sakura…"

From the corner of his eye he saw a shadow go by the kitchen's window through the pale sheer curtain. Suddenly, he shifted his hands to her waist and pulled her down completely off the counter as quickly as he could. Sakura's legs clung around him in surprise as they both fell towards the floor. He landed clumsily on top of her, not accounting for her holding on to him like that. Sakura gave a muffled shriek of surprise as her back felt a shock of cold against the floor. Kakashi held up a hand to his lips as he hovered over her on his elbows, making a shush gesture. She slowly loosened her legs from around him, settling them at the sides of his body.

A knock was heard at the back door which was near the dining table. Sakura was confused at first why they hid behind the counters, until she realized that anyone could have seen them from peering inside the sliding glass door. The expression on Kakashi's face was a mix of annoyance and disbelief at how this situation could possibility get any worse. Lowering himself on his forearms, their chests touched each other. Another knock was tapped against the glass. Kakashi held back an annoyed sigh as he looked into Sakura's eyes. They both stared back at each other in disbelief. A grin started to slowly spread to Sakura's lips. Her hand flew on top of her mouth to try to suppress a laugh.

Her laughter had to have been contagious; Kakashi was starting to laugh as well. He turned his head into the crook of her neck trying not to. It was just ridiculous. How in the hell did point A get to this strange point B? A louder knock rang out. It only prompted Sakura to laugh more, making him want to laugh more.

"S-Sakura, Shhhhhh," he said as quietly as he could into her ear through stifled laughter.

"I-I… can't….. h-help it," she replied. Looking rather red faced now, she tried to turn away to prevent herself from laughing more.

After a few moments the knocking stopped. Kakashi leaned on the side of his arm to look back towards the kitchen's window above them. The figured passed by again, seemingly returning towards the front. He let out a sigh. Turning back towards Sakura, she slowly turned her head towards him and looked into his eyes. They burst into laughter again.

"I-I don't know why I'm laughing," Sakura admitted, trying to catch her breath.

"I think I'm laughing because you're laughing…"

His reply seemed to just egg on her laughter more. "I…I can't stop. It's just... t-too funny."

Kakashi couldn't recall the last time he'd ever laughed this much before. Not only that, but laughing with someone who was clad in nothing but a set of bra and panties. This only made the situation even funnier to him. Their laughter finally died down as he was still on top of her in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"I…" Kakashi said between breaths. "I think… we got a little carried away earlier."

"Maybe, but I can't say that I wanted to stop..." Sakura said, shyly looking away.

Kakashi wasn't sure if it was the after effects of laughing, but he felt really relieved. She really did enjoy it as much as he did. The back of his mind still kept trying to think maybe it was going too far, that it was wrong. Maybe he was forcing himself on her, but she wanted to be with him like this. It made him feel happy. He captured her face in his hands and turned her head towards him.

He kissed her lips softly and said, "You _are_ making it really hard for me to stop."

"Why's that?"

"Well, let's see… Here you are lying half-naked on my floor, looking incredibly sexy…"

"It's not my fault I'm half naked."

"Yes, it is."

"You pulled my shirt off," she replied teasingly.

"Because you were obviously hot. I was helping."

"Oh, _helping_."

"Correct, and I'm pretty sure you started all of this."

"I did?"

"Yes and…" Kakashi began to trace a finger from the side of her blushing cheek, down her neck towards her chest. "I'm pretty sure you weren't complaining to what we were doing so… Let me finish what I started."

Sakura felt anxious at what exactly he meant by that and a bit more nervous while he further touched her slowly with one finger. He kept going down between her covered breasts and through the valley between her ribs towards her stomach. He adjusted his body to lean against her off on one side. Sakura sucked in a breath at how it felt almost agonizing to want to fully feel his hand against her. He began to make sweet kisses at her lips and around her neck. Feeling his hand over the silky fabric of her panties, she unconsciously pulled her legs together not used to having anyone touch her there so intimately.

"Relax," he whispered.

Her heart jumped at his words. Trying to comply, she relaxed her shaky legs, feeling a bit embarrassed as she parted her legs slightly. The last time she had ever gone this far with anyone, the feeling had been so completely different. Instead of unsure touches wandering her body abruptly, Kakashi's seemed to make her feel in such a way it was hard to explain. It was electrifying. Enticing. Addictive.

Sakura closed her eyes, trying to focus on the feeling of his touches. He outlined the top edge of her panties and kept going lower into the inner sides of her thighs, before sliding down into her sweet spot. She held back a groan as his fingers softly touched over her now fairly sensitive bundle of nerves. Kakashi could feel how wet she was from their previous escapade through the thin fabric. He began to rub lightly over her spot and began to kiss down her neck, tasting the salt of her sweat. She slowly began to breathe heavy again. Seeing her sprawled out against the floor like this was making his arousal even more pressing, but he tried his best to ignore it for now. He wanted to just take care of her, given they've never done anything like this before.

"Do you like that?" he asked softly against her ear.

"…Yes."

"Do you want me to go faster?"

"P-please," she muttered shyly.

She began to touch the sides of his back as she melted further from his kisses. He began to increase the pace of his fingers nestled in the folds of fabric on top of her nerves. Arching her back further into his touch, she couldn't stop herself from trying to prevent more moans escaping her throat.

"Mm, Ka… k-a-shi."

Kakashi smiled at her struggling to say his name. She so felt incredibly hot and wet under his hand as he stroked her. What she would possibly feel like without the mere fabric separation… he certainly had something to look forward to exploring later. He began to circle his tongue around her neck while sucking her skin. Sakura wondered how his kisses were so amazing. She would probably never figure it out, but she loved every second of it. She lightly dug her nails into his side, trying to hold back this intense feeling taking over her. It was driving her crazy how it made her feel so helpless to do something about it. It felt so good though. Sakura furrowed her brows, struggling against the floor of an overwhelming feeling washing over her. Her breaths were increasingly getting shorter and more desperate.

"A-ah," she gasped sharply.

Sakura felt the almost unbearable feeling between her legs turn into a feeling of release that shook throughout her body. Her breaths turned into shuddered exhales as she moved her body, unable to contain herself from squirming. Seeing her slowly trying to catch her breath, Kakashi slowly glided his hand up from her warm spot to her waist, claiming her mouth as his again. She kissed back showing in a way how much she loved his touches. When their kiss broke, she finally had a handle on her breathing. Both of them were looking rather disheveled as they held each other. After a small moment of silence, Sakura took in a deep breath.

"So… Can we do that after every breakfast?" Sakura asked jokingly.

"I like that idea." He kissed the side of her jaw softly, admiring how beautiful the pink strands of her hair were fanned out behind her. He had no idea how he was going to manage to walk with his ever present arousal in his loose fitted pajama pants, but figured if there was a will there was a way.

"Well, so… um, can I stay with you today?"

Kakashi eyed her. "Did you just seduce me to let you stay?"

"Maybe."

"Then yes."

Sakura smiled devilishly up at him. He returned the smile while pushing back up from the floor. Slowly he stood up and extended a hand to her. Pulling her up into an embrace, he kissed her cheek before letting go.

"I'm going to take a much needed shower… and um, we'll talk about what all we'll do today after you clean up, too."

"Okay," she replied happily, but still slightly dazed. Turning her gaze at the floor to their discarded shirts from earlier, she noticed a cup that managed to roll near the bottom corner of one of the counters.

' _Ah, so that's what fell,'_ she thought amusingly to herself as she went to pick them all up.

Kakashi was already halfway up the stairs by the time she glanced around the kitchen again. She had an idea why. A squeeze of her legs together still made her shudder. Sighing, she felt resolved to somehow make him feel… like he did to her. Though she wasn't exactly sure, she had a few ideas. It was just something she'd never acted on before. At least she had plenty of experience making out. It was a bit embarrassing to think she'd never really… done many other things yet, and the fact he was so experienced made her worry she'd just make a fool out of herself.

Throwing the shirt she wore earlier over her shoulder, she scrunched up Kakashi's in her hand. She placed the cup that fell into the sink and began to make her way upstairs into Kakashi's room. Walking into his closet, she tossed his shirt into the hamper. Her hands guided over the neatly hung clothes. She noticed he seemed to have a lot of dark colored t-shirts, but he did have a couple of nice dress shirts that were light colored. Moving back into the main room, she stretched, wondering what she should do now until he got out. Searching the room for a moment, her eyes lingered on the chest that she almost peeked into last night.

' _It's not like it has a lock on it so...'_ she tried to reason with herself as she slowly approached.

Sakura looked over her shoulder into the hallway. She could still hear the shower running. Biting her lip, she opened the latch and opened it up. There were several clean folded bed sheets inside. Slowly she picked them up enough to see if there was anything else hidden beneath them. There seemed to be something glossy near a corner. Fully pushing up the chest cover, she pulled out the shiny paper that caught her eye.

It was a photograph. It looked like Kakashi when he must have been seven or so standing next to a woman that was hugging him tightly. What was strange was that the photo was torn into several pieces, but was taped back together again on the back. Her eyes glanced back to the hall again, starting to feel a little guilty that she was snooping. She looked further into the corner of the chest and found a couple of trinkets. There was a broken porcelain bird that looked like it could be attached to something else which was missing, a tarnished silver necklace that had a center piece made of different colored beading, and a folded letter that was yellowed with age. She placed them all back after examining them - except for the folded letter.

' _I really shouldn't read this... but…'_

She slowly unfolded it open. The words were jotted down in hurried script writing, but were blurred in some spots like rain must had fallen on it, and she couldn't help but notice the dark crimson stains that were smudged along the edges. Looking at it as a whole, it was a bit difficult to make out what it said. It was so strange. It was giving her a bad, heavy feeling. Sakura heard the shower get turned off. She quickly folded the letter and placed it back within the same spot in the chest and closed it. Sakura moved to the bed and laid down feeling a bit guilty. Part of her wanted to know what it said, but the other part of her felt like it certainly wasn't her business. She decided she shouldn't poke her nose into anything that looked private like that, no matter how much her curiosity pleaded with her. Kakashi would certainly tell her whatever he was comfortable with. It probably wasn't a big deal…

Sakura leaned her head over the side of the bed and looked up at his bookshelf upside down. She began to make out all the Icha Icha titles and wondered exactly how many times he must have read all of those. What was so good about them anyway…?

She heard Kakashi open the bathroom door and come into the room. She sat up to find him in nothing but a fluffy towel that hung around his waist. She blushed and averted her eyes.

"All yours. There's a towel for you to use near the sink."

"Okay, thanks," she quickly replied before she got up from the bed.

Kakashi smiled at her cute awkwardness as she left. He quickly found some fresh clothes to change into and made his way downstairs. He glanced at the clock that hung in the living room from the hallway. It was a little past noon already. Before he left the hallway to go to the kitchen, he saw a piece of paper sticking inside the door slot. He sighed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what it was.

Slowly he walked to it and pulled it out. It was a package delivery slip. Flipping it over there was writing saying the package was put by the back door. He mentally cursed figuring _that_ was who it was knocking earlier. He figured they must have put it in the back since last time he complained that it went missing before he got home. It either vanished into thin air, or someone really wanted to explore their education more than he did, stealing his textbooks he ordered online. At least the company was nice enough to send it again for free, which was what was probably sitting outside right now. He went back into the kitchen and opened the side door. There it sat. A box.

Kakashi picked it up and placed it on the table after closing and locking the door again. Unconcerned about it for now, he went to finish the dishes that he had forgotten about earlier for various reasons, mainly named Sakura. After he was finished, he wondered what they should do today after he unlocked his car and talked to Iruka. His gut dropped at the thought of talking to Iruka again. He sighed. He just had to deal with it as quick as possible. After a few minutes, his eyes glanced towards the hallway, hearing Sakura's footsteps coming down the stairs. She found her way to the kitchen searching for him. She was wearing the clothes she had on yesterday.

Shaking her damp hair out of her face, she looked towards the table. "What's that?"

"Our interruption earlier."

"Oh, boxes can knock?"

"Yes."

"Hum, I see. Evil box," she smiled sheepishly. "So what's the plan?" she added.

"Um, do you know how to drive a car?"

"I took driver's ed before I moved here, but I haven't driven anything since then."

"Did you pass…?"

"I only hit the cones on the course that didn't matter."

"Like, how many?"

"All of them."

"…"

"I'm joking."

"Are you…?"

"Yes," she said with a glare. "I'm guessing you want me to drive your car back?"

"Yeah, though you're not going to wreck it are you?"

"I'll try not to."

"Don't just try. _Don't_."

Kakashi wondered if she really would. He could take a cab out there or he could hope to save money letting her drive it back. He decided he was indeed a gambling man.

"Okay, let's go."

* * *

Sakura felt her legs become all wobbly again after she slid off the back of his motorcycle. She wasn't sure if she'd ever get used to riding it. Unbuckling the helmet, she gave it back to Kakashi. He got off of his bike and placed it on the handle bar and walked to his locked car. It was just as they left it last night. Pulling out the spare key from his pocket, he unlocked it. The car was pretty hot inside from sitting under the high noon sun. He opened the glove compartment and got his wallet, book, and her purse which he handed back to her.

Opening her bag, she pulled out her phone. There were about twenty text messages and fifteen missed called. Most of them were from her mother. She sighed. Her phone began ringing in her hand.

"I should take this… though can't say I want to," Sakura muttered. She turned and glared at the forest in front of her and accepted the call.

"Hello…"

Sakura held the phone away from her ear at the yelling to turn the volume down. "Yes, Mom… I'm not dead in a ditch somewhere. Ino told you what? Oh, yes, I was at a friend's house. I forgot to charge my phone. Who? Just… a friend. No. No... No. For the last time, no."

Kakashi had a hard time trying not to laugh from what he was overhearing. He started the car to try and circulate some cool air into it.

"I need to go… I'll call you later… I won't forget... Okay. Bye. Yes, I know… B-….Yes, bye." Sakura let out a sigh. She loved her mother, but jeez she wanted to kill her sometimes. After she sent Ino a quick text, she turned back towards Kakashi who had a smug look on his face.

"I hope I never meet your mother," he tried to say rather seriously.

"You and me both."

"Okay, so just follow me back to my place, and from there I figured I'd drop you off at your apartment to get changed and whatever else you need to do. Then I'll pick you up later."

"Sounds good. So, when I wreck the car, where are your insurance papers at?"

"…"

"I joke, but actually I should probably know where they are…"

"Glove box…"

"Okay, and then… just to double check with me, R is where you shift it to go forward right?"

"Sakura…"

"Kakashi…"

"…"

"You're so fun to tease," Sakura said as she kissed his lips.

He grumbled while slowly lifting himself from the car seat. He tried not to think of all the various scenarios of her wrecking his car as she slipped into the driver's seat and began to adjust the mirrors and chair height like a teenage girl who had just received the gift of a brand new car.

"Okay, please, _please_ … be careful," he said worriedly as he kissed her cheek.

"It will be fine. Don't worry," Sakura replied with an all-knowing smile.

After she shut the car door, he walked back to his bike. He was definitely going to make certain he would never lock his keys in his car again. Ever.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited by: _CelestialCircumference_


	15. Strip Fighter

**Chapter 15: Strip Fighter**

 

Kakashi had felt so relieved that Sakura had driven back to his place without running into something like a telephone pole or a parked car. After that, he dropped her off at her apartment and was now almost to Iruka's house. No, he wasn't looking forward to it, but Iruka _did_ go out of his way to pick them up last night. He at least needed to thank him for that much - and cover his expenses. Now he had to wonder how much their friendship would be strained over his relationship with Sakura. Part of him couldn't help but be slightly bothered.

With a sigh, he reluctantly had to admit to himself that his friends were like a family to him in a strange way, but if it was going to end up like this with everyone… it really didn't matter. Sakura was important to him. Iruka and anyone else close to him could either accept it or not. Kakashi had made up his mind and was going to stick to his heart. He wanted to be with her no matter what. Otherwise, he would be the biggest fool ever to give up on her.

Pulling his motorcycle into the Umino estate, he sighed again as he parked and turned off his bike. After pulling off his helmet, he adjusted his mask back in place and shook his hair into looking less like a bird's nest. Last time he was here it was New Year's Eve. Iruka had a really kind family. Really welcoming and all that… which he figured that's how normal families are. He had always wondered what that would have been like, to be a part of something normal.

Slowly, he walked up to the front door with a hand in his pocket and knocked briefly with the other. After a moment, the door creaked open to reveal a very uncomfortable looking Iruka. Iruka's emotions were always easy to read, which was certainly opposite to his own.

"Here." Kakashi slipped his hand out of his pocket and held out some money between his fingers. He waited for Iruka to hold out his and quickly placed it in his palm. "There's a little extra for your trouble."

Iruka began to protest. "I really don't–"

"Just keep it. Anyway… I appreciated it. Give your family my regards. I'll talk to you later sometime." Not waiting for a reply, Kakashi turned to walk back down the steps.

"W-wait."

He paused mid-step, feeling slightly annoyed. Kakashi really wasn't in the mood to try and hold a conversation with him.

"Look, about you and Sakura..."

Kakashi sighed and turned with a foot already down one step. "I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Just hear me out…"

"…"

"Please?"

After a moment of silence, Kakashi let out an annoyed grunt and replied a bit more forcefully than he should have, " _What_ then?"

Iruka winced slightly at his words and glanced down to the ground, looking a bit unsure at what he wanted to say first. He sighed and looked back up into Kakashi's eyes. "I'm sorry about what I said last night... asking if you started things with her while she was still a student of yours. You're right. I _do_ know you better than to think that."

"Thanks for the confidence," Kakashi replied dryly.

Iruka sighed. "I don't know why I said it. I guess… It was just a weird sight to see you two together like that. Maybe because I've known you both at school, which made me a little taken back by surprise. So, I… well, just forget I ever mentioned it."

"Fine."

"And… well, to be more to the point of what concerns me, let's be honest with each other," he said uneasily.

"…?"

"You're not exactly known to have long standing relationships with women. Sakura's just–"

"Perhaps, but it's been a long time since I've been with anyone like that," Kakashi cut in.

"So, this isn't some fling to you?"

"No."

"You really care about her?"

"I do… and I did try and stop before anything really happened, but I can't stop myself from wanting to try and make it work. She makes me happy, which, trust me, is a weird thing for me to admit."

Iruka looked a little surprised by Kakashi's reply as he focused for a moment at the ground thinking about his next question. "The age gap… doesn't bother you?"

"I know it sounds strange, but it just doesn't seem apparent to me, well, to us, that it even matters."

He hummed. "I guess it's true what they say…"

Kakashi looked at him questionably.

"Love is blind."

' _Love?'_

Kakashi wasn't sure what to think about that word. Love wasn't part of his vocabulary. He knew he cared about her a lot, but to even begin to think of feelings on that kind of level he wasn't really sure how he felt in that respect. Not that he had anything to compare to gauge his feelings.

"Perhaps," Kakashi finally replied as he turned and went to the bottom of the steps.

"Anyway, Kakashi," Iruka called out before he could walk too much further.

He looked back over his shoulder. "Hum?"

"Just to be clear, I may not be able to fully agree with your relationship, but I still want to be your friend regardless… okay?"

A faint smile appeared beneath his mask. "…I appreciate it."

"Of course," Iruka replied with a nod. "Well, see you soon for a visit back at home sometime?"

"Probably. Anyway… thanks. Take care."

"You, too."

Kakashi held up a hand as a goodbye as he went back to his motorcycle. He felt a bit better knowing his friendship with Iruka wouldn't be as much of a total loss like he was figuring. It was easy to understand where his friend was coming from though. He had the same doubts from before if it was really a good idea or not. But maybe, just maybe after some time had passed and they were still together, it would change people's minds about the nature of their relationship. It would also reassure him he wasn't foolish in seriously giving this a shot. Least that's all he had to hope for at this point.

* * *

Kakashi knocked lightly at Sakura's apartment door. He hoped she was ready to go so he wouldn't feel any more awkward than he'd have to. The door opened quickly to find a familiar blonde staring back at him with a grin. Why can't Sakura ever answer the door?

"Hello, Kakashi-sensei!" she said enthusiastically.

He inwardly sighed. "Just… Kakashi."

"Right, so Kakashi… Are you two going to like, I don't know, spend the night together every weekend from now on?"

"…"

"I don't know wha– _aah_."

Ino was suddenly jerked backwards by the back of her shirt. Sakura squeezed through the door and quickly said goodbye to Ino while pulling Kakashi by the hand down the steps. He was confused why they were rushing so quickly, but he was partly glad to be getting away from Ino's awkward question.

"S-Sakura?" he strutted.

She spun around to turn at him once they were by the street curb. "Yes?"

"What was that back there?"

"What's what?"

"Well for one… Rushing us down here."

"I, uh, missed you and wanted to get going," Sakura smiled sweetly as she said that.

"Uh-huh… and…?"

"Andddd… to get away from Ino before she said anything super embarrassing."

"Mmm, I see."

He had to wonder what exactly _did_ they talk about after he dropped her off earlier. Maybe he shouldn't know. Kakashi leaned down while pulling down his mask and gave Sakura a quick kiss. It was funny to him how he actually did start to miss her for the mere few hours they were apart. She smiled warmly up at him as she adjusted the duffel bag at her side.

"You aren't planning to spend the night are you?" Kakashi asked while eyeing her large bag. She usually only carried a moderately sized purse with her.

"So, um, how did your visit with Iruka go?" she replied, completely ignoring his question.

"Actually better than I had expected."

"Oh, that's good to hear. He always seemed nice… So, I'm glad everything's okay."

"Yeah, more or less anyway." Kakashi began to poke at her bag. "So… really, why is your bag so heavy?"

Pushing his hand away, she looked embarrassed for a moment. "Well, it's Sunday and we both have class early in the morning _and_ I really want to spend more time with you. So, I figured…"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Sakura…"

"Please?"

"…"

"Pretty please?"

"…"

"Pretty, pretty, please?"

"…"

Sakura made her best attempt to look completely sad with a pouted lip. Her eyes actually appeared like they were about to tear up. Kakashi cursed those damn crocodile tears of hers and realized she had some decent acting skills. He had no idea how he could refuse those beautiful green eyes of hers, but he couldn't deny it did cross his mind to let her stay tonight.

"I'll think about it."

Her tears instantly stopped as she grinned in a small victory. Kakashi poked her side playfully at her evil way of playing.

"So… off to your place then?" Sakura asked.

"For now," he replied.

Sakura wrapped her arms around him snugly when they were set to leave on his motorcycle. She was glad she was getting less nervous now around him, though she wasn't sure if she'd ever not get scared from riding his bike. Closing her eyes, she wondered how much more amazing this feeling she felt in heart could get.

* * *

Sakura hung her head over the side of the couch as her feet curled into the back cushions. Kakashi had gone upstairs after they had came back to his place to change into something more comfortable while she waited in the living room. She never actually looked around the room before. Already she was envious of his flat screen TV which stood on a short, but elongated black entertainment center that had quite a few videos and a gaming console. Her curiosity piqued at that as she began to twist her head to see what games he had. She figured all he did all day was just read. While her body was twisted, she felt hands tickle her sides causing her to squirm into the couch. She held Kakashi's hands in an attempt to stop him.

"Ka-ka-shi," she said in between laughs. "How would you like it if I tickled you all the time, hum?"

"Good thing I'm not ticklish."

"Oh, really?"

Kakashi's hands broke from her grasp easily to tackle her sides again.

"N-noooo, stop!"

Her face was red from laughter when he finally stopped. Stepping around to the front of the couch, he plopped down beside her and began to reach for her again. Sitting upright now, she began to push him away with a bare foot to his chest.

"I won't tickle you again. _At least for a few minutes_ ," Kakashi muttered the last part quickly as he held out his arms.

Sakura hesitantly eyed him before removing her foot from his chest.

"Come here."

Slowly she entered his warm embrace and lay on his chest. She loved this feeling so much. It felt so secure, comforting, and simply just made it all the more unbelievable to her how she could be like this with him. Never had she felt like this towards anyone. She didn't know such an overwhelming feeling of happiness could even exist. Looking up into his eyes, she had a feeling he felt the same way.

Sakura kissed his now unmasked face tenderly. His cheek felt so smooth. He must have just shaved. Rubbing her face against his cheek, she could smell an intoxicating musky scent.

"I love whatever aftershave you use," Sakura stated, brushing her lips against his cheek into an approving kiss.

"Do you now?" he mused.

"Yes, makes me want to kiss you more."

"I will make sure to never run out of it then," Kakashi said with a smile.

Sakura settled more into his chest now while he leaned against the arm of the couch holding her. It was strange for him. Sitting here with someone like this. The air around them was quiet and still. Yet it was a different kind of quiet than usual. He could faintly hear the soft breathing of someone other than himself. Usually he'd feel just about as empty like most of his house was, but with her being here, it was amazing to him how he felt so warm. Not just from the feeling of her against him, but warm in just a sense of how he knew he wasn't alone anymore.

Running a hand through the strands of her pink locks, he had to wonder how different it all could have been if he hadn't unknowingly sat next to her on the first day of class. What would he be doing now? He wouldn't have anything to look forward to. His life probably would have felt even more mundane and stifling like it always had been for the countless years past. He didn't realize until now how numb he was beginning to feel inside. No matter how hard he tried to change things on the outside. Moving, switching jobs, he still couldn't find what he didn't know he was looking for. He never would have imagined the answer to be Sakura. She was the change he was looking for in his life. It was a crazy realization to him.

"What's with that smug looking smile?" Sakura asked with a tender gaze.

His smile grew. "Just realizing how lucky I am…"

"Oh, how so?"

"To have someone like you."

At his comment, Sakura hid a blush into his chest. "I- I don't think I'm that amazing or anything, but I feel the same about you."

"You're plenty amazing," he said warmly.

"Not really…"

"You don't give yourself enough credit," he said, touching the edge of her heated face softly with his fingertips. "No one can make me laugh like you can. You're beautiful, smart… You can make me feel happy just being beside me. How is that not amazing?" Kakashi added while smiling at how shy she suddenly became as she buried herself more into his shirt. After a moment of silence, he rubbed her back lightly. "It's cute when you're embarrassed."

"Shush," she softly replied, still hiding from his eyes as she was thinking to herself how he could feel this way about somebody like her. Not that she wasn't thankful or flattered, but them being together still felt like a dream. She felt weightless. That at any moment she could fall out of this illusion and find herself tumbling back onto the hard ground of reality. Sakura felt a bit too shy at the moment to tell him how she thought he was crazy to think so highly of her. That she was certainly the lucky one to be with someone as smart, capable, mature and wonderful like he was.

His voice interrupted her thoughts. "So, did you want to do anything in particular tonight?"

"Oh, I'm up for whatever or we could just stay like this for several hours."

He chuckled and replied, "Sadly I probably could do that."

"Have you decided if I can stay tonight or not?"

"Still thinking…" he replied, wondering why she asked suddenly.

"Any way I can persuade you?" she asked hopefully.

"I will not give in to your seductress advances again," he teased.

Sakura looked up to him from his chest, slowly bringing her mouth to his and whispered, "I could test that theory…"

Feeling a tingle down his spine, Kakashi was already starting to waver and she hadn't even brought her lips to his yet. He sighed. "Okay. See, that's not fair."

Sakura kissed him gently trying to mask a hidden smile. "Fair is foul, foul is fair."

"Hey, don't get all Shakespearean on me," he playfully jested.

Sakura smirked in response and glanced at his media center. She pointed and said, "Okay, what if I beat you in one of those games you have down there. Then can I stay?"

"You play video games?" he asked skeptically.

"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I can't play."

"Oh, really… I never would have thought," he hummed. "What you play?"

"Um, you know, little things here and there growing up," she replied.

"Hum…"

Kakashi wondered why her reply was so vague, but there was no way she had any hopes of beating him in anything. He wasn't an avid gamer anymore like he used to be when he had a lot of down time after school growing up, but was fairly decent still today. She was simply asking to be beaten no matter what. He tried to think of ways of how he could make this a fun bet for his easy win. Sakura was staring at him with a smirk like she was plotting something.

"I'll let you choose whatever game you like as long as it has a versus mode and um, if you win, you get to stay tonight, but if I win… hum…"

"How about, if I win I get to stay over every weekend – as long as you aren't busy," Sakura chimed in.

He had a feeling she would from now on anyway. He wanted her to, but decided for the sake of the game to make it a bet.

"Fine," he allowed.

"And I want you to cook us some dinner tonight."

"Agreed, but you'll have to if you lose."

She nodded. "So, how many rounds?"

Kakashi thought for a moment. He couldn't help but want to tease her with a sinister suggestion at the back of his mind. He was curious to see how she would react. "How about we make this, um… interesting."

"How so?"

"How about… each loss you remove one article of clothing..."

Sakura smacked him in the shoulder trying to hide a grin. "Pervert."

"Whaa? I am no such thing," he defended, rubbing his shoulder.

"Do you usually make your video game matches into some kind of stripping contest?"

"No, just with you, but doesn't it make it more exciting?"

Sakura blushed. He really was about as perverted as she figured his books were, but found it quite intriguing. She felt fairly confident she wasn't going to lose, though she wondered how she would handle in seeing him nothing but… wait…

"So, are we stripping down to… nothing?"

He grinned mischievously. "We could…"

Sakura's blush seemed to deepen more as she averted her eyes. Kakashi could see how she was looking uncomfortable and laughed. "I'm just joking."

She thought to herself for a moment. Glancing around the room, she was glad to find all the windows had closed blinds. If she really agreed to this, at least no one would see them like that close call earlier in the morning. She felt more resolve in wanting to try and be braver being with him. Also to completely beat him and have bragging rights forever.

"N-no. I agree," she muttered.

Kakashi was a little stunned she agreed. He actually really was joking about it, but if she really wanted to, he would happily comply.

"When you lose you only have yourself to blame."

"Don't be so sure about that," she replied as she rose from his comforting chest.

"Awe, there's that competitive spirit of yours. Mighty until the very end," he snickered.

"You're adorable," she replied, now sitting with her knees folded underneath her on the couch.

"Here, I have a few downloaded games on the console." He handed her a controller which was stored under the couch beneath him. "Do you know how to turn it on?"

"No."

Sakura hit the button seeming to know otherwise as it beeped on.

He raised a brow. "Do you have one at home?"

"I used to, but it broke and I figured I'd be studying a lot anyway. So I haven't bothered to get another."

She navigated through the menu seeming to know exactly where to look for the list of various games. Kakashi wondered if maybe she knew more than he figured, but still wasn't particularly worried about it.

"This one," she declared.

"Street fighter? A classic, huh?"

She nodded. "Mm-hum."

"You might want to pick something else."

"Nope."

"Okay, I expect all your clothes right here." He tapped the black lacquer coffee table in front of them.

"Ha," she scoffed. "You mean yours."

Kakashi couldn't help but laugh. Her confidence was really entertaining although extremely misguided. He had played this game who knows how many times with friends over the years. This was a cakewalk. Searching for the other controller stashed under the couch, he still couldn't stop smirking. Now he had to wonder exactly how far she would strip in front of him before turning completely embarrassed. Sakura selected her character.

"Chun-Li, huh?"

"Girl power all the way."

"And I respect that." Kakashi selected his character.

"Ryu, huh?" Sakura asked similarly on purpose.

"We have similar fighting styles," he said with a shrug.

"You can do a Shoryuken in real life?" she teased.

"Yes."

"And Hadouken?"

"Naturally."

"Show me."

"Later."

"Liar."

Kakashi smiled as they began their first match. He had already decided to let her _win_ the match. It was the honorable thing to do. He couldn't just completely kick her butt off the bat. That would just be too cruel. Then after that, he wasn't going to hold back. She seemed rather unsure in her moves though he played not very aggressively, but enough to seem like he was really trying. Their match had ended.

"Ah, you beat me. I have to say I'm a little surprised," Kakashi said rather nonchalantly.

"Mm, yes, I bet you are," Sakura said, eying him knowing exactly what he was trying to pull. She had her own game up her sleeve. He just didn't know it yet. "Shirt off," she added.

"Fine."

He pulled off his snug short sleeved shirt and tossed it on the coffee table. Sakura couldn't help but admire his muscled frame as his pale skin was shaded by the soft glow of colors radiating from the screen before them.

They began the second round. This time he played slightly differently, still letting her take in some shots and receiving a bit of damage, but near the end but pummeled her with a string of combos which lead to his easy win.

"Shirt off," he called out. He watched her coolly do so without any protest. She didn't seem too embarrassed as she placed her shirt on top of his on the table.

Noticing his gaze fixated on her chest, she turned her back towards him. "I see you staring."

He grinned. "I was just admiring the color of purple you're wearing."

"Pervert."

Third round of their match began. He planned to only make her strip down to just her underwear as the conclusion of their bet. This would be their final round.

"Don't hold back," he murmured.

"Oh, I won't."

The battle started and she had already thrown him to the ground. Every approach he made he was getting blocked or shot down. She hadn't been this aggressive right from the start before. All the small jab moves she was making were eating at his health little by little. This match was turning into using much more effort than he had planned for. Throwing several Hadoukens weren't very effective as she shot back fireballs. Jumping his character in the air to get closer, she had thrown him to the ground again before he could even land.

He had lost.

Kakashi was a little perplexed. Did he just get hustled in a video game? He actually had attempted to win, but didn't get much of a chance to. Trying to hide his surprise, he eyed her as she smirked back at him.

"That's what you get for throwing the first match," she said with a glare.

"…"

"Pants off."

"…"

Clearly seeing the enjoyment on her face between her interlaced fingers over her smirking lips, he leaned back into the couch and unbuttoned the top of his jeans. He stood up and slowly unzipped them teasingly. He shrugged them off his hips, revealing a dark blue pair of boxers with a gray elastic band just barely hinting his cut muscle lines down to his inner groin.

Sakura tried to hide her blush as she stared at him, wondering how it was possible for anyone to look so incredibly sexy. Kakashi smirked as he plopped back down into the couch while placing his pants on the table.

"Now _you're_ staring," he commented.

"I'm admiring the blue color you're wearing of course," she playfully mocked.

"Of course… So, I suppose this means I lose," he replied, still smiling.

"Oh, but I thought we were stripping down to nothing? So, you still have one more shot to beat me. Actually to be fair, I'll give you two more shots."

"…"

Sakura could tell he was a bit surprised to hear her say that. "Afraid to lose?"

"Well, I wasn't going to go that far if you only had your underwear left..."

"So you admit ultimate defeat?"

"No…"

"Oh, well then let's go." Sakura smiled as she got ready to play again.

"So if I lose, you're really going to make me strip down to nothing?"

"Yep. Since I'm giving you an extra chance if you lose… I want you to run around this couch once in the buff and say, _'Sakura's the strongest woman in the world!'_ "

"…"

' _Is she serious?'_ he wondered. Now that would definitely be embarrassing. There was no way she was serious. "You're…"

"I'm not kidding."

"I, uh…"

"I'll do the same if you manage to beat me, but good luck with that," she mused.

Now, he didn't want to back down from a bet, but he had no idea what he was getting himself into by agreeing, for what he thought was originally a cute contest. She was evil. Merciless. Sexy. Well, that last one was mostly due to her being in a bra right now, which highlighted her ample cleavage he was admiring earlier. Now if he could win, would she really run around the couch nude? That would be a sight to see. He could win, right? He was determined to. Doing whatever was necessary, even if it meant cheating.

"Fine," he agreed smoothly. "And I just want to note I had no idea how competitive you really are. It's a little scary and quite sexy."

"Thank you. Now you know to be serious against me. _Always_ ," she said with a glare.

"I didn't throw the first match…"

"Is that the truth?"

"Probably."

"Uh-huh."

Kakashi sighed and admitted, "Fine. I did. So let's do this."

Queuing up the next match, they both chose to play with their same characters again. He was determined to win. Like his life depended on it. After the screen displayed the words _'fight',_ he immediately began to leap into a combo knocking her character into the corner. She squeezed out of it using a spinning bird kick, but his character's handy Shoryuken kept her from not getting too far. Sakura made an aggravated grunt as she pressed buttons desperately trying to overcome his blows, yet to no avail. He had won.

"Pants."

Sighing once more, Sakura started to worry maybe she couldn't beat him again since he suddenly was getting really serious. She actually used to play the game a lot with one of her neighbors growing up. All they ever had was fighting games like this, which she grew to enjoy. She figured she'd have the upper hand being decently experienced, but maybe not quite as much as she hoped. Standing up, she began to unbutton her pants thinking how this was the strangest way to play video games she had ever experienced.

Mimicking what Kakashi had done earlier, she teasingly was being quite slow and sensual as she further revealed her matching purple panties to her bra. She was starting to feel nervous as she did it. She wasn't experienced stripping in front of anyone before, but made the best of it trying to look like she knew what she was doing in being sexy. Kakashi seemed pretty intrigued with the motions though. When her pants fell to the floor, she peeled them from her feet and placed them on the table. She sat back onto the couch feeling her cheeks heat. This may have been the second time now he's seen her like this, but it was still a bit nerve wracking. If she lost again… she was quite afraid what part he'd want her to remove next.

Sakura turned her gaze into his. "You and your stares."

"Admiring," he replied coolly with a grin.

Unpausing the game now, he turned his attention back to their second match and tried to refocus. He just needed to do what he did last time. Once they began he started to, but had already been countered by an aerial attack which had left him open to being tossed to the ground. He hated that throw move. It took so much damage. Sakura's character was already doing lighting kicks as he tried to recover, but stopped that fast using a few Hadoukens.

Blocking and dodging a few of Sakura's attempts to catch him off guard, he threw her character onto the ground followed by an upper and lower kick combo. Unfortunately for him, she countered once she recovered by knocking his character down and threw him once more. Now they both only had a little bit of health left, but that soon ended as he tried to block her attacks. She suddenly switched to the other side and threw him a final time.

She had won.

Sakura grinned at him looking rather pleased and also relieved. "Humm, you get one more chance. Then it's just you." She made a circular motion with a finger. "Around this couch."

Part of him was still hoping she was pulling an extended joke that was getting carried away too far now. He really didn't want to push his luck if she did or didn't though. He can't lose again. He can't. He won't. He refused.

"Any last prayers before this next round?" Sakura asked jokingly.

"I don't need prayers… I need a miracle," he muttered dryly.

"Indeed," she replied happily, already set to start the next round.

The final round was already intense and completely aggressive between both of them. Besides the sounds of button mashing, there were a few aggravated sighs between them both. Kakashi felt partly ridiculous putting so much energy into this one fight in a silly video game, but the other part of him was actually having a lot of fun. It was just hard to admit how he never had fun in this kind of way. He decided they should definitely play more stripping games like this. The battle was already near its end. Both of their health bars were dangerously low. It was anyone's game. Their characters were on opposite ends of the screen, bracing for each other's next move. Kakashi could see in the corner of his eye how focused Sakura was right now. He must do something to turn this in his favor. Quickly his left hand left the controller to tickle her side.

Sakura gasped with a laugh as she looked at him trying to swipe him away. "Kakashi!"

He had already begun to move his character on the screen for a final attack, but she had recovered her hands back into the controller again to block.

"Ugh, you little cheat!" she griped.

"Fair is foul, foul is fair," he replied quickly as he continued his attack attempts.

"Grr…"

Kakashi had no idea how, but she had managed to throw his character again. That was it. He had lost. Even his surprise tickle attack didn't save him. Maybe she would give him another chance…?

Sakura turned to him still looking a bit mad from his earlier attempt to cheaply gain a win. She pointed at him and said, "You. Naked. Now."

He held his breath at first. "Do… I really have to…"

"Yes."

"But..."

"No buts. Just your butt. Around this couch. Now."

"…"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _*wonders how many people I'm alienating using a video game reference, though I think it's pretty popular? Yeahhh?*_
> 
>  
> 
> Well, idk about you, but I can tell you I was the only girl who ever played video games when I grew up (it was a sad life). Back in the days when dinosaurs ruled the earth and the consoles back then had a nifty way of getting a game to work. For reals, how does my SNES still work? _-gets black screen- -blows air into game slot- -works-_ Magic!
> 
> Ok. Enough reminiscing. Any thoughts on this chapter are appreciated. Thanks!
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	16. Guilty

**Chapter 16: Guilty**

 

"Well? I'm waiting," Sakura said as she folded her arms while smirking. The blank stare on Kakashi's face was beyond hilarious.

"Sakura, really? This isn't some long winded joke right?"

Kakashi looked at her seriously trying to hide a panic that was forming in the pit of his stomach. She _had_ to have been joking. Running around in the nude in front of her saying, _'Sakura's the strongest woman in the world!'_ He figured a scene like that would be too embarrassing for her to endure. Now he was quickly realizing it was too embarrassing for _him_ to endure.

"Kakashi, drop your boxers and go."

Turning away from her gaze for a moment, he tried to ponder ways of getting out of this. "Okay, how about we have a rematch? A fair one?" he offered.

"No."

Holding his breath at first, he added, "How about… I just kiss you instead?"

"No."

"Back massage?"

She hummed in consideration. "Tempting, but no."

"I'll give you all the cash in my wallet."

"No."

"My credit cards."

"No."

"My car."

"No."

"My house."

"No."

"My soul."

"No."

"…"

"Less talking. More stripping. Go."

Kakashi hung his head low. This was really happening. This was not how he imagined being nude for the first time in front of her. Completely opposite situation he would have hoped for. It's not that he was shy, but… ugh. Who wouldn't be embarrassed running around a couch yelling something ridiculous? He was a thirty something year old man damn it. Men didn't do that, unless they were completely intoxicated.

Sakura stretched and made a fake yawn. "Man… So tired of waiting for the inevitable."

Sighing, Kakashi got up slowly from the couch. "You speak of this to no one," he grumbled.

"I doubt anyone would believe me anyway."

With a sigh, he pointed towards her. "…Give me that at least."

Looking around at first, she was confused until she realized that she was leaning against a pillow. "I don't think you need this," she replied.

"…"

"Chop, chop. I want dinner," she demanded playfully.

"I… am going to pay you back for this. I don't know when. I don't know how, but _I will_ ," Kakashi proclaimed with a glare. If looks could kill, Sakura would have been long gone by now.

"Hey, you _did_ agree to this."

Kakashi sighed in response, beginning to tug at the top band of his boxers before he turned his backside towards her. Sakura's smile dropped for a moment as she looked at his back. She never had actually seen it before. She knew scars were there from feeling it, but seeing it… welts were threaded mostly along his lower back. It wasn't hideous or anything like that to her. It just made her heart drop in wondering why or how it happened. It looked like he was beaten.

Seeing Kakashi hesitantly peer over his shoulder, she quickly averted her eyes from staring and plastered on a devious smirk again. Bringing her knees up to her face, she hid behind them slightly as she sat, letting her smile fall. She didn't want to bring the mood down from overreacting or making him feel bad in anyway.

"I'm going to be an old woman by the time you finish," she called out behind her knees.

With a heavy sigh, Kakashi slowly pulled the elastic band further revealing his buttocks. She was almost a bit startled of how unbelievably sexy his firm butt was. Never had she thought she would ever find a guy's ass so attractive, but his certainly was. Sakura blushed. Stepping out of his boxers that had fallen at his feet now, he picked them up by a foot still hiding his front from her and placed them in front of him to at least have a bare minimal amount of decency. He finally turned around.

Kakashi's face was so pink with embarrassment as he gripped his boxers against himself best he could with both hands. She couldn't help feeling somewhat embarrassed as she took in the sight, yet giddy at the same time.

"Like what you see?" Kakashi asked in a playful sexy tone.

"Definitely."

Her reply snagged a smile out of him finally. Feeling her cheeks burn hotter against her knees the longer they stared at each other, she said, "Okay, now run around the couch saying that little thing we talked about earlier."

Another sigh left his lips as he tried to prepare himself for his journey around the couch. He figured he should get it over with as soon as possible and then pull his boxers back on. At that thought, he left from his spot and began to lightly jog around the couch and utter in a miserable tone, "Sakura… is the… strongest woman… in the world."

After he completed his circle around the couch he stood and glared at her. She was desperately trying to hold back a giggle.

"Oh, no, no, Kakashi." She broke into a laugh after she said that and tried to collect herself again before continuing to say, "That won't do. You need to say it with feeling."

"…"

Kakashi began to look crestfallen. "But, I said it… you never said _how_ I had to say it."

She grinned. "Sure I did. I did say it a certain way when I told you, now didn't I? I was quite enthusiastic sounding."

"…"

Taking in a deep breath, Kakashi didn't know what to think. Was he dreaming right now? This had to have been a nightmare. "You know… I'm getting you back ten fold for this right?" he said dully.

Sakura replied with a smile as she leaned back into the couch. She didn't want to think how he'd be paying her back. All she should do now is just enjoy his misery.

"Come on, one more time with _feeling_."

Another miserable sigh left his lips. Again he leapt around the couch and said enthusiastically as he could, " _ **Sakura is the strongest woman in the world!**_ "

Kakashi stood still and glared as coldly as possible. "How's that?"

"Better, but…"

"Sakura…"

"I'm just joking! You're done."

Feeling glad he fulfilled his debt, he turned around again to slip on his boxers. Sakura felt a little sad seeing his butt covered again, but felt that heavy feeling coming back as she looked up towards his back. Turned around now, he plopped into the couch staring at the wall behind the TV with his arms crossed. Sakura worried he was actually upset.

"Hey, it's all in fun… You're not really mad are you?" she asked as she began to crawl towards him on the couch.

"…"

Silence was the only response she was getting. Pulling herself closer now, she sat with her knees folded next to him. He still wouldn't look at her. "Don't be mad…Please?"

Leaning herself against him, she kissed his cheek.

Still nothing.

"Kakashi… Please…" She kissed him again, a bit longer this time. " _Baby_ … Please…"

Kakashi couldn't play mad anymore as he felt a strange affection hearing her call him baby. He glanced at her sullen face before he melted his imperturbable mask. "I'm just playing," he said while he brought a hand to her face.

Sakura gave a sigh of relief.

"But you really are evil," he added before her kissed her soft lips.

"Well, I did accomplish my goal objective of making you do that."

"What…?"

"Seeing that amazing ass of yours."

"Ha, now I see your true colors. You're the pervert, Sakura."

She smiled warmly before hugging him in her arms. Kissing her cheek, he pulled from her embrace and chuckled. His eyes seem to light up as he looked off into the distance as if he could see the images of whatever he was plotting. "I can't wait to pay you back. Oh, it will be so great. I can just imagine it now."

She awkwardly laughed. "I, uh… don't look forward to that day."

"I do. Very. Very. Much."

Sakura had no doubt he absolutely meant it. "So yeah… About that dinner…"

"Yes, your majesty," he said with a nod and rose from the couch. He began to sort through their clothes on the coffee table, since he didn't think it would be a good idea to cook practically naked. Not with the possibility of hot cooking oil to pop at his skin. After pulling on his shirt and pants, he leaned down to Sakura who still wasn't dressed yet and kissed her once more. "It will probably be about thirty minutes until I'm done, so make yourself at home."

"Do you mind if I looked around?" she asked hopefully.

"Sure."

"Yay! Okay. Also, don't poison my food please."

"Ugh, there goes my payback plan. I'll do plan B instead," he replied with a smile as he left into the hallway towards the kitchen.

After his steps faded away in the distance, Sakura got dressed and turned off his TV and gaming console. Now she had the permission to explore around as much as she pleased without feeling uneasy about it. Heading into the hall, she started to look into a room that was closed. Slowly pushing the door open, she slid her hand against the wall to find the light switch. With a sound of a click, the light flashed on to reveal a bunch of boxes and a few furniture pieces were stacked up everywhere. Obviously the room was acting as storage. She peered into some of the open boxes noting there were quite a few books that ranged from novels (amazingly not Icha Icha related) to textbooks. Besides that, there were several boxes filled with boring looking documents she didn't care to read.

Looking to the right of her, she was surprised to find a dusty looking piano in a corner. It had boxes and several kinds of papers scattered all over it. Did he play the piano? She wouldn't be surprised given how amazing he was already. Yet it looked like it hadn't been touched in ages. There were smudges of hand prints along the sides, but most likely from it being moved. Coming a bit closer to it, she traced a finger into the dusty keys. Hesitantly, she pushed down a white key, a sound was a released and echoed within the walls of the room. She made a mental note wanting to ask him if he played. Glancing one final look over the room, she went back into the hallway after turning off the light again.

She could hear Kakashi moving some pans around in the kitchen as she went to her next stop. This was the room she glanced past earlier. The door was already opened as she stepped inside, flicking on the light. There was a punching bag, a couple of exercise machines and a set of weights. Overall the room had a dojo kind of feel, as there were a few weapons like samurai swords neatly shelved about. There was a cushioned mat in the middle of the floor. Sakura stepped on the briefly and did a small jump. She began to jump around on the mat like a rabbit, enjoying herself a little too much as she realized how much of a kid she must have looked like right now. Eying the door as if he would walk in on her at any moment, she stopped. After she toyed around with some of the equipment, she stepped back into the hallway. There was one more room she hadn't seen yet.

Traveling up the creaky stairs, she opened the door of the room she wanted to explore. After the light was on, she could see it was a simple office space. There was a desktop computer centered on a desk, which was against in front of a closed window surrounded by a couple of shelves. It really was amazing to her how many books he must have owned in total. There were a few plastic bins with some papers stuffed inside. Old certificates and dusty awards were scattered about on some shelves as well. Peering into a bin, she could see a few kid drawings that were created in crayon. Most of them looked like they were of Kakashi in a white gi. It was really cute. She wondered where they were from as she pulled a couple of them out to look more closely. The first one had a poorly drawn looking Kakashi doing some sort of karate move. Flipping it over, there was a scribbled misspelled message saying, _'Kaashi-sensei, You are a kind teacher. Best evrrr. Nodoby bestest!'_

"Awe, that's so cute!" she muttered to herself happily, placing it underneath the stack.

It was dated several years ago. He must have taught kids who were really young as a karate instructor. What she wouldn't give to have seen that. Kakashi with little kids? It had to have been so adorable. Sakura was starting to feel giddy just imagining it. The next drawing depicted a chibi looking Kakashi and what looked like a girl student. On the front there were hearts drawn everywhere.

' _Oh god,'_ she thought warily as she flipped to the back. It said: _'i loves you kakashi-sensei!'_

Sakura smirked. She had to wonder exactly how many students of his probably fell in love with him. Sakura blushed and quickly flipped the drawing under the stack. After she browsed through a couple more, she placed them back into the bin. Stretching her shoulders for a moment, she went to sit behind his desk and stared into the florescent light above her. It was kind of strange how Kakashi didn't have any pictures. Anywhere. Except for that one photo she found tucked away in his chest. Maybe he didn't like pictures of himself? But… there weren't any of family or friends. Of course maybe they were in one of those boxes downstairs. What kind of family did he have? Was he an only child like her? She'd gotten the impression that he probably was, but was only speculating since he had never mentioned anything about family yet. Spinning the chair now, she accidentally made herself dizzy and dragged her feet into wooden floor to stop.

Refocusing her senses back, she got up and felt the various rough and smooth spines of books with the tip of her fingers as she walked past a shelf. She looked behind the curtained window of the room, admiring the yellow lit shaded windows of the house next to them. Night seemed to have fallen some time ago.

' _Oh God, I never called my mother back yet…'_

She sighed. Sakura knew her mother's life was all about her. Sometimes it was amusing, but other times mostly embarrassing. She was pretty sure if her mother had her own way she would have never left from home. At least she had been very supportive of her going to college. Her mother was all alone now since she divorced her father when she was around five years old. She never told her the reason why. Sakura had met him once, at her high school graduation which was barely a few months ago. That was it. It was an awkward meeting that only lasted for a few moments. Only sign of his existence was a stale birthday card with small words that saying _'from Dad.'_ Sakura couldn't help but roll her eyes at that thought.

Closing the door behind her, she turned off the light and went down stairs to find her bag that was in the living room still. Rummaging through it, she found her phone which had a few missed calls already. Strangely one was a number she hadn't seen before. Listening to her voicemail, her face went from confused to ecstatic.

"Yessssssss! Yes, yes, yes!" Sakura began to do a happy dance in celebration. Her dance stopped as soon as she turned to find an amused looking Kakashi leaning into the archway from the hallway, seeming to be suppressing a laugh. She blushed and felt embarrassed.

"Oh, don't stop," he encouraged. "It was cute."

"Shush," Sakura replied, averting her eyes down to her phone to close out of her voicemail.

"Sooo, what are we cutely dancing about?"

"Job interview," Sakura replied, narrowing her eyes at him still feeling embarrassed.

He smiled. "Nice, where at?"

"One of the coffee shops on campus," she beamed.

"Ooh, I approve."

"Why's that?"

"I can still continue to stalk you easily."

"Well, let's see if I get the job first," Sakura smiled and added, "I need to call them tomorrow."

"Hopefully it will go just fine. Oh, by the way your majesty, did you want to have hot tea or water to drink for dinner?"

"Oh, just water is fine for me. What are you making?"

"Secret."

"Ugh." Sakura rolled her eyes and began to click through her contacts on her phone. "I need to call my mom before she thinks I died again, so I'll just be a bit."

"Sure. It will be ready in about um, I guess fifteen minutes."

Kakashi let her be and walked back to the kitchen. He opened the top cover of the saucepan he was simmering to stir its contents a bit and placed the lid back down. After checking other pots that were heating, he set the table for them then went back to the kitchen side to finish preparing.

Sakura came in after a little over ten minutes later and smelled the air. "Mmm, smells good."

"Yes, you'll never be able to tell what poisons I used," he mused.

Sitting down at the table, she gave him a sharp glare. Swinging her feet under the chair, she wondered what she should talk about as she waited. Sakura cleared her throat to get his attention. "Oh, so I was wondering… when I was looking around earlier…."

He continued to stir into a pan. "Mm?"

"Do you play the piano?"

"Ah, I used to. The one in my little storage room is acting a table now."

"Don't like it anymore?"

"Well, it's not that I don't like it. I guess it's just um, that particular piano reminds me of my parents."

"Oh, is… that bad?"

"Yes… and no."

Sakura bit her lip wondering if she should push further. She took a deep breath and asked, "Well, can I ask where they are now?"

"They died when I was eight."

"Oh, s-sorry," she muttered feeling stupid for asking now.

Sakura was shocked at the fact she had no idea he had lost his parents so young. What happened? Why? What would it have been like growing up without parents? Who did he live with? She had so many questions. As she glanced at him, part of her wanted to just ask exactly what she was thinking. She wanted to know, but she didn't want to force him to share. Like how he didn't want to share what happened with the scars on his back. Perhaps it was too big of a tragedy for her to even comprehend. She didn't know. How could she know? Sighing inwardly, she felt even stupider. She probably kept making him feel bad uttering questions that were too personal and painful.

"Don't worry about it. It has been many years now," he replied, seeing her look uncomfortable.

Kakashi tapped a ladle against a big pot and compiled all his ingredients from different saucepans, preparing two bowls of soup for them on the side. Placing them on the table, he went back into the kitchen once more and got a side of steamed rice for them and sat across from Sakura. She poked her chopsticks around her bowl still feeling slightly depressed finding out about his parents.

"…This looks good. I suppose if it tastes as good as it looks I don't mind being poisoned," she commented.

"Good. This will be your last meal."

Sakura eyed him playfully like he was serious. "What's in it?" she asked.

"Green tea soba noodles, tofu, shrimp, mushrooms, spinach, um… some various spices that may or may not be poisonous for your particular bowl."

Ignoring his last remark she gave it a taste. "Mmhum. It's awesome," she concluded.

"Glad her majesty approves," he said with a grin.

"All this just means is that you're going to cook for me forever."

"Ha. Fat chance. Not since I discovered you can cook, too. After this I'll never cook dinner again if you're here."

She laughed lightly. "Then you'll starve."

Kakashi poked her with a chopstick. "I'll eat you then."

Sakura playfully frowned as she continued to eat. After they had finished their meal this time Sakura was determined to do the dishes and shoved Kakashi out of the kitchen. He made his way to the living room and decided to watch some TV until she finished. A yawn escaped his lips, starting to feel tired already. Glancing at the clock on the wall, it was a little past 10:00 pm now. They would need to leave around six in the morning tomorrow to make it to class on time. Oh how he hated morning classes with a passion. There was no reason in his mind to ever conduct classes so early. He would rather sleep. When Sakura was finished in the kitchen, she came to the living room and crawled into his arms, relaxing against his chest. A small chuckle left Sakura's lips.

"What's so funny?" he asked softly.

"Just the memory of you running around this couch earlier."

"…"

"I'll cherish that memory forever," she said fondly.

"Evil, evil," he muttered under his breath.

"Heyyy, I'm not evil. You're just a sore loser," she said in defense.

They sat comfortably in silence for awhile watching the news. Sakura was beginning to get a little too comfortable as she found herself starting to fall asleep. She really didn't want to move from his warm arms though.

Kakashi yawned noticing her starting to nod off. "It's getting late. We should get some sleep."

"Mm, mkay," she mumbled into his chest.

"You're not going to sleep here again are you?" she asked a little sadly.

"Mm…"

Given everything they've done and been through today, he didn't see why he should deny himself a bit of happiness of wanting to hold her throughout the night.

"No…" he decided. "I'll be with you if that's fine."

"More than fine," she quickly replied, giving him a squeeze with her arms.

Turning off the TV, they both rose from the couch. Sakura made her way upstairs with her bag. Kakashi turned off all the lights downstairs, double checking that the doors were locked before making his way up. After he brushed his teeth in the bathroom, he walked into his room to find Sakura mid-changing into a t-shirt to sleep in. Her back was bare as she slipped it over her head, pulling her hair out from beneath the fabric. She tucked her bra into her bag and slipped on some comfortable shorts after shaking off her pants.

"You don't have to wear anything," Kakashi joked, startling her to turn around.

He wasn't sure if it was the way her shirt was revealing a shoulder, or that he could clearly see a nipple poking beneath the fabric or maybe it was the way her pink hair had twisted down the front beautifully, but she was increasingly sexy as she smiled at him. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea for him to sleep upstairs with her.

"Mm, I bet you would like that a lot, huh," she teased back.

"Yes… though I have a feeling I wouldn't be getting much sleep."

Or any sleep as she was now for that matter. Kakashi mentally sighed. Having a half baked excuse in mind on having self control, he still decided he could do this. Though he didn't have much control earlier today… Trying to ignore that fact, he went to the closet to change out of his clothes.

"You don't have to wear anything either," Sakura shyly called out towards him.

"Don't tempt me."

Slipping into a blue plaid pair of comfortable pajama pants, he decided to skip wearing a shirt since he usually didn't anyway and made his way out to find Sakura already snuggling under the covers. Sitting up on her elbows when he entered, she had a sheet held up with one hand wrapped around her mouth and nose, looking quite similar to the style of mask he would wear. With the other hand, she held one of his Icha Icha books which she grabbed from his side table next to the bed. Clearly she was impersonating him. He folded his arms and smirked while waiting a response of what exactly she was doing.

Sakura cleared her throat and in a low voice said, "My name is Kakashi. My hobbies include reading… and running around a couch naked."

"…"

At that comment, he leapt into the bed and tickled her viciously.

"AH! Ka-kashi, I… was… j-ust… joking!" Sakura said between a fit of laughter, trying to escape his punishing tickles.

"Pleaseee, s-sstop," she cried, still trying to get away from his grasp. Finally she was able to twist her body away, but only managed to get to the foot of the bed before he held her sides again, pulling her back into his chest. "Please! N-no more," she said while trying to squirm away.

"Why should I stop, hum?" He began to tap fingers lightly against her soft stomach ready to tickle attack again.

"I'll do anything," she squeaked.

"Anything?"

"I'll uh…"

"You should run around this room naked and say, _'Kakashi is the most amazing man in the world!'_ "

"…"

"Either that or I tickle you forever."

"No!"

Sakura burst from his grasp and almost hopped off the bed in time before familiar hands pulled her back again.

"No, no, no. You're not going anywhere," Kakashi teased. "You see, Sakura… this was my plan all along. The reason I wanted to come up here. Torture you until you comply with my wishes. Only then, will I stop."

"…"

Kakashi tried is best not to laugh at her blank face considering if he was dead serious. He loved making things up on the fly.

"You're kidding me," she said in a worried tone.

"Nope. So, what's it going to be?"

"You know what? Maybe… I _shouldn't_ stay the night after all. Haha… Yeah. So, I'll go get my things."

"Nice try," he replied still holding her snugly, poking her sides as she tried to jerk away.

"Okay… What about… _this!_ "

Sakura wiggled her fingers to his sides in an attempt to tickle him. Flexing his abdominal muscles, he really couldn't be tickled easily. His face remained expressionless as ever. After a few seconds of trying with no response, Sakura sighed and said, "This…isn't fair..."

"See this?"

Sakura looked confused as he held up a hand in front of her, slowly rubbing his index finger and thumb together in a circle.

"World's smallest violin… playing a sad song for you."

"…"

Sakura turned her body more into his chest within his grasp and sternly looked into his eyes. Slowly, she leaned into his mouth and gave him a deep kiss. When she parted her lips from his, he eyed her and finally said, "I see what you're up to."

"Do you?"

She kissed him again this time under his jaw. He gradually loosened his grip around her, losing himself from feeling her tongue along his chin now.

Suddenly she broke away from his hold again. "Ha!" she pointed in victory at him.

Simply grabbing her extended arm that she was pointing at him with, she was back into his embrace again. Sakura sighed, realizing a bit late that she should have just run instead.

"You are so in trouble," he said huskily.

"Oh, am I?"

Sakura glanced at him nervously as he slowly pushed her back into the bed. Hovering over her, he said, "For one thing… you shouldn't tease."

"Me? Tease? Never."

"Another thing, you have made several unsuccessful escape attempts. This is severely punishable by law," he mused.

"By what law?"

"My law."

"I demand the right to a trial."

"I'm the judge and jury. You're guilty."

"I… demand a retrial."

"Still guilty."

"…"

Kakashi leaned into her neck, slowly kissed up towards her flushed lips. Pulling at her bottom lip from the suck of his kiss, he entered her mouth with his tongue, swirling around against hers eagerly. She could barely keep up with his intense kiss.

"Wait, wait," Sakura gasped out before he made another move. "Is this my punishment?"

"Yes."

"Oh, well I don't mind at.. al–uh, I mean this is the most unbearable punishment ever, but I deserve it and accept it willingly."

Kakashi smirked as he cupped her face with a hand and kissed her lips feeling like he could never get enough of them. Amazingly for some reason, he didn't feel as sleepy anymore as he began to kiss down to her bare skin around her collar bone that her shirt failed to cover. Sakura trailed her fingers over his sculpted chest feeling him slip lower from her grasp as he moved.

Kissing lower over her shirt, he lingered over a protruding nipple and nibbled it. Sakura let out a gasp of surprise feeling him begin to bite it lightly before it felt cold from him moving to the base of her stomach. He began to feel the sides of her ribs underneath her shirt. Unable to resist anymore, Kakashi pulled her shirt up and trailed kisses behind the hem until her exposed breasts appeared. Sakura's heart skipped a beat as she felt embarrassed being revealed like that for a moment. Her shyness slowly disappeared from the feeling of him sucking tenderly against her delicate flesh. Licking her pink nipple hungrily, he squeezed her other breast, loving how tender they were against his touch.

Not wanting to deny exploring her other breast with his mouth, he licked a tongue between them switching to the other. Digging his tongue into the center of her nipple, Sakura groaned from the feeling.

"Ah," Sakura whispered as he popped her nipple from his mouth, moving up to kiss her addicting lips again. She was beginning to think maybe this really was a punishment of how wonderful his touches felt, wanting him to never stop. Feeling alongside his back and she grabbed one of her now favorite assets of his. Pulling at his behind, she pressed his body further into hers while slipping a hand beneath the soft fabric of his pants and boxers to caress his bare bottom.

Nipping at the edge of her ear now, Kakashi roamed his hands along the sides of her ribs and down to her hips before going back up. Her shirt had fallen over her breasts again. Fabric. He decided it was such a hindrance. He tugged off her shirt completely in one motion and randomly tossed it off the side of the bed purposely rather far so he could enjoy watching her fetch it later.

He took in the view of her full milky topless skin. Sakura blushed under his gaze and tried to hide herself, though there really wasn't much point since he'd already had a close and personal view earlier. She still couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed being stared at like that.

"No need to be modest. Now we're both topless. See? I removed it so you wouldn't feel left out," Kakashi mused in hopes of making her feel less shy. He caressed his hands up her sides again going up along her arms, pulling them away slowly from her chest. He held her hands with his as they were placed over her head now.

Sakura smiled coyly and said, "Oh, no ulterior motives at all then?"

"Um, of course not."

"Riiiight."

He smiled as he kissed her neck while sliding his hands down the length of her slender arms to her sides again. Sakura managed to turn his head enough with her cheek so she could torture him with kisses as well along his neck. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she decided it was her turn to punish him. She managed to push him beside her without any resistance and switched their positions. Kakashi grunted as she straddled him while bending over him.

"You can't have all the fun," Sakura whispered into his ear.

Kakashi felt a chill as she said that followed by soft kisses against his ear. Feeling her kisses going lower he felt a tongue run along his chest and around his nipples, giving them each a quick suck before pulling back. Sakura explored every bit of his muscles across his stomach with her mouth, rubbing his wet chest against her fingers as they receded down. Prolonging her next move from hesitation, she kissed his chest again awhile longer before she built up the nerve to touch his arousal with her hand. He groaned in response, failing to stop himself pressing his hips forward into her hand. Satisfied with that response, she cupped her hand along the fabric of his length, slowly rubbing it, which received more pleasing grunts from Kakashi.

"Mmm, you're making it really… really… _really_ difficult for me to sleep tonight. Or maybe ever," he uttered.

Treading her hands to the edge of his pants, she began to slide them down.

"Sakura…" he warned.

"It's okay," she assured, trying not to lose her nerve.

Sakura continued to pull them down revealing his blue boxers that she saw earlier. Pulling his pants off his legs now, she set it aside and traced her fingers across his length once more. It felt a bit different against her hand now that a layer of fabric was gone. She began kneading the bottom mounds of his sensitive flesh. Sakura licked above the band of his boxes and circled her tongue around his bellybutton. Kakashi was certain now; she was evil. An evil sexy vixen. His breaths turned heavy now as he turned his grip into the sheets.

After a moment, Sakura settled her flaring nerves again and pulled the band of his boxers down. She felt uneasy and slightly embarrassed as she continued, feeling like her heart was about to jump out of her throat. Pulling his boxers far enough down to be at his thighs, she tried not to blush looking at him being fully revealed. Not being able to bare his glances peeking through his half-closed eyes, she moved up and began to kiss the nape of his neck, slowing beginning to rub along his hardened length timidly.

"Mm, S-Sakura," he whispered with a haggard breath.

He held a hand against the small of her back, pulling her closer towards his body as she kissed his neck, swirling her tongue around his Adam's apple. He was still almost finding it hard to believe how easily he lost his will again leading to this. Not that he cared to complain at the moment or even wanting to find a reason to. Adjusting her modest hand against him to making it more pleasurable, it wasn't too much longer before he was getting close to a release.

"Baby that feels so good, don't stop," Kakashi whispered into her ear as his breaths were becoming harder to control.

Sakura continued her pace while biting and kissing into his neck. She felt she had to have been crazy to have the gall to do what she was doing, but despite the initial embarrassment and uncertainty, she loved being finally close to him in this way.

Feeling his muscles tense up, he desperately claimed her mouth into his before an overwhelming tingling sensation washed over him, leading to his release. Trying to catch his breath, Sakura hid herself into his shoulder.

"I thought… I was supposed to be punishing you," Kakashi said half jokingly.

"I just uh, wanted to return the favor earlier today," Sakura mumbled, still hiding from his line of sight.

He pulled her face from his shoulder and kissed her softly. How did she manage to make him so crazy every time she touched or kissed him? Kakashi concluded and said, "Evil."

"I am not! Well, maybe a little... Just don't tell anyone."

"Our little secret," he chuckled and added, "Be right back."

Kakashi rose up from the bed and half pulled up his boxers, making a dash to the bathroom. Sakura sat in amusement, feeling kind of surreal as she looked around his quiet bedroom. Crossing her arms over her chest, she felt relieved that her nerves were finally settling back down. Not finding her shirt anywhere on the bed, she laid back into the tangled sheets and waited for Kakashi.

Shortly after he came back, he smirked as he saw her clutching her bare chest. "Cold?" he asked.

"I'm not used to being topless like you are," she dryly replied.

"I could warm you up again..."

"Then we'll never get sleep."

He chuckled. "Sleep is for the weak."

"Says you," she glared playfully.

Sakura got up from the bed, trying not to feel shy. "Where's my shirt?"

"Hum, not sure," he said with a shrug.

Glancing around the room she pouted. "I don't even see it."

"Well, I threw it somewhere."

"Maybe you're hiding it?"

A smirk grew at his lips. "I would _never_."

"…"

Sakura gave him another glare as she searched around the bed. After circling the room and still finding nothing, she sighed. Kakashi held back a laugh as he watched. After he remade the covers back in place on the mattress, he hopped in and relaxed.

"Kakashi," she whined.

"What?" he replied innocently.

"Shirt?"

He shrugged.

"…"

Her glare was starting to get to him. He sighed. "Finee. Over there," he said while pointing.

Sakura blinked as he was pointing towards the open door of the room. Slowly she walked over and peered into the hall. Somehow her shirt managed to be several feet from the doorway. Snatching it up, she pulled it over herself and went back into the room.

"How did it get all the way out there?" she asked in astonishment.

"No idea."

"You're the one who's evil."

Kakashi replied with a small smile. Pulling the covers down next to him, he tapped the bed for her to come. After she slipped inside, he covered her with the bedding before rising back up to turn off the lights quickly.

Hearing the click of the clock's buttons being pressed on the side table, Sakura leaned towards him after he settled under the covers. "What time is it?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," he replied.

"…"

Kakashi linked an arm around her waist and pressed his chest against her back. He loved this overwhelming feeling he got holding her like this. It was hard to really place why. It wasn't as if he had never held anyone before, but with her it seemed so entirely different. For some reason it was so very comforting. It was a strange feeling that he was certainly getting used to and wanting nothing but more of.

"Goodnight," he whispered against her neck before placing a soft kiss there.

"Night," she replied, snuggling further into his warmth.

* * *

**-beep beep beep beep-**

Sakura instantly shot awake from the ear pinching noise, half forgetting where she was for a moment until she saw a familiar hand around her waist. Kakashi stirred slowly, pulling away towards the other side and stopped the alarm. Her eyes felt like they were burning from sleep deprivation. It was just as dark as it was earlier when she went to sleep.

Letting out a sigh, she said, "I hate your alarm…"

"Mghfff," he mumbled back something indecipherable as he was face down against his pillow.

"Do we really have to get up…?"

"Mgsfhlfff…" he replied again.

She rolled her eyes. "I see. Can you elaborate?"

"Mggggfffff."

"…and then?"

"Mgfhfffff…"

"So you're saying that… you want to run around the couch naked again?" she snickered.

"…"

Still not moving his face from the pillow, Kakashi's hand blindly found her waist to tickle her.

"Ah!" She shot quickly away from the bed, but a little too fast entangling herself in the sheets, falling ungracefully to the floor with a thud.

Kakashi's head shot up still half asleep. "Sakura?" He pulled himself to the edge of the bed to find her rubbing her knee.

"I'm fine. Actually, it's kind of funny," she mumbled tiredly.

"Come here," Kakashi said as he held out his hands. After he pulled her up in a sitting position on the bed, he kissed her reddening knee. "Sorry. I didn't mean for you to fall."

"I'm okay," she tried to say warmly, appreciating his gesture.

He embraced her for a moment before letting go. "We have like…"

Glancing at the clock quickly, he added, "Twenty five minutes to get ready. Go grab a shower first?"

"Okay," she yawned, sitting up to grab a change of clothes from her bag.

Kakashi groaned, falling back into bed. He hated mornings. It would have done him better to have an apartment and being closer not having to wake up so damn early, but he loved having more of a sense of privacy. So he ended up living about an hour away from the university. Listening to the faint sounds of the shower running, he closed his eyes again.

"Done," Sakura said as she poked him in his stomach. He blinked, realizing he must have fallen back asleep. Sakura stared at him with her hair slicked back into a pony tail. She was changed into some jeans and a simple short sleeved graphic tee. Satisfied that he seemed awake, she looked into her bag and brought out some makeup to brush over her face, hoping to look more presentable for the day.

Kakashi reluctantly rolled out of bed to shower. When he entered the steamy bathroom, he found a small heart with small drips of water running underneath it in the corner of the bathroom's mirror. He inwardly smiled at that, wondering what it would have been like meeting her years before he had lost most hope of who he was and where he was going in life. How much could he have changed back then? But they would have been entirely two different people if they had gotten to know each other earlier. How things were now was just meant to be.

Sakura glanced at the clock worriedly. If they were really going to make it to class in time, Kakashi really needed to hurry. She wasn't sure why she felt so anxious of wanting to make sure she wasn't late, but she supposed she usually prided herself on being punctual. It made her feel worried that she would get in trouble, which technically she would in a way, but it wasn't _that_ big of a deal. It wasn't like high school where you would get written up, but she couldn't help herself to worry a little as she paced in his room.

Trying to find something to preoccupy her mind with, her eyes glanced at his Icha Icha book that had fallen on the floor last night when she was playfully mocking him. Picking it up, she plopped down on bed and flipped through the pages. She actually was really curious why he seemed to like them so much…

Skipping to the middle of the book, she just wanted to get a gist of it. She started to blush reading some rather very descriptive words which quickly began to paint a picture of what was going on. How did he manage to read this in public? She felt so embarrassed reading it. Yet as she flipped another page, she couldn't seem to stop herself. Least this was distracting her from how late they were likely going to be.

"Ah– _hem_."

Fumbling the book in her grasp, Kakashi looked at her in amusement from the doorway clad in nothing but a towel around his waist.

"Like it?"

"I-I don't know," she replied quickly, looking completely red in the face as she placed it back on the nightstand.

"Awe, see. So cute when you're embarrassed," he teased.

"Shush."

Sakura averted her eyes as he went inside the walk-in closet to change. After he was finished, he stepped out in his usual mask with a simple shirt and jeans. Studying him for a moment, she felt sad having to see him behind his mask again.

Stretching, Kakashi said, "So, let's get going?"

"Sure, I'm good to go."

As she got up to get her packed bag, Kakashi pointed towards the nightstand and smirked. "Don't forget that for me."

"Okay," she sighed, feeling embarrassed again. She grabbed his dreaded book and handed it to him.

Making their way into the car outside now, Kakashi couldn't help but know what exactly he'd like to talk about for their hour drive. Pulling out of the driveway, he cleared his throat and asked, "So, which pages did you read?"

"…"

* * *

Sakura dragged her feet out of her second class, barely trying to avoid the mass of people leaving around her. Man, did she feel tired. She wasn't sure when they slept last night, but she kept finding herself nodding off all throughout her first and second class.

They were a little late to their first class as she figured. Kakashi was no help in caring about staying awake as he promptly lowered himself into the seat and placed his wonderful Icha Icha book on top of his face to sleep. She had half the mind not to smack him. Relentlessly he kept asking her embarrassing questions throughout their drive. She made the mistake of mentioning what page she left off on. He could recite the words from memory exactly as if he was reading it. It was nuts to her. When she asked why he liked them so much, he danced around her question. She sighed. She would pay him back somehow.

Meeting up for lunch with him now, she trudged along the sidewalk, still wishing for more sleep. Kakashi looked rather energetic compared to her as she stepped in front of him glaring.

"What?" he asked.

"I hate you."

"This again…Why?" he sighed.

"You look awake."

"I had a nap earlier."

"Oh, I'm aware. I was there next to you writing notes."

"I was taking notes…"

"Oh?"

"Subconsciously."

"…"

Sakura glared and smacked his arm.

"Ow."

"And something else," she gritted.

"What _else_ did I do?"

"Embarrassing me. All the way up here."

"I told you," he sighed. "It's cute when you blush. I can't help it."

"Ugh…" Folding her arms, she huffed and turned away.

"I'll buy you lunch. Whatever you want," he offered.

"You better."

"Also you–"

" _SAKURAAAAAAA-CHANNNNN!_ "

Sakura and Kakashi looked at each other in confusion for a moment. Footsteps were running towards them at a blinding speed before Sakura felt herself tugged into the air, spinning round and round.

"Sakura! I finally found you."

"Oh, uh… Hi Naruto. You're squeezing a little too hard," she said while trying to breathe.

"Oops, sorry," he replied as sat her down with a grin on his face. Suddenly he noticed a blank faced looking masked man. "Oh, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hi…"

"Do you teach here?"

"No."

"Oh. How have you been?"

"Fine."

Naruto didn't seem to notice the uncomfortable-ness like Sakura could as she looked at an annoyed Kakashi. He turned his attention back to Sakura. "Hey, so… Sakura-chan, let's get some lunch and catch up?"

"Uh…"

"We're already going to have lunch together…" Kakashi mumbled.

"Oh, can I come then? Be great to hear what you've been up to, too."

"…"

Sakura glanced at Kakashi, who was behind Naruto and couldn't see him shaking his head no. Sakura slowly smirked. "Oh, of course you can Naruto. _Right_ , Kakashi?"

"…"

She decided this would definitely be a fitting payback for this morning. Smiling, Sakura started walking while tugging at both of them to follow. "So, where shall we go?"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what? Today is Virtual Cookie Extravaganza Day (VCED). Yes. -does a dance with jazz hands to try and distract you that I made it up-
> 
> Everyone gets a cookie. Yes, that's right. Along with the kind reviewers from last time, just reading this far means you deserve a fabulous homemade virtual cookie!
> 
> Ty for reading!
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	17. Acquaintances

**Chapter 17: Acquaintances**

Kakashi inwardly sighed as he felt helpless being dragged along by Sakura with Naruto at his side. Uzumaki Naruto. He remembered him from middle and high school. Not only did he remember him from being in the same class with Sakura of his, but once he had moved up to managing the karate team in the high school Naruto was one of its members. More or less he knew him at on a basic student teacher level.

Back then Naruto was loud and obnoxious. Lazy scholastically, but did manage to change after he had grown more serious about school. He was pretty sure his threats of kicking him off the team for any failing grades helped change his motivation. Kakashi had some not so fond memories of Naruto in middle school always trying to cause trouble for him and the other teachers every chance he got. Dealing with that and other kids that had the maturity level of a spoon certainly wasn't a highlight of his teaching career. Naruto had grown more mature in his own way like Sakura had, but unlike Sakura, Kakashi had witnessed Naruto's transformation himself continuing as his teacher in high school.

Sakura finally let them go as she walked between them along the sidewalk happily grinning. He knew she was purposely tormenting him as he felt her nudge his arm playfully. Kakashi kept a blank face and stared ahead with his hands in his pockets. The thing that was bothering Kakashi most right now was how they knew each other so well. Hugging her all like that just a moment ago. Why did he get an overwhelming annoyed feeling seeing that? Glancing into Naruto's eyes as they walked he could see why now. He looked completely infatuated with Sakura. _His_ Sakura. Not that anyone else knew it yet beyond Ino and Iruka. Thinking back on it now, Naruto seemed to have a crush on Sakura all throughout middle school. Was he still fawning after her?

Maybe this wouldn't turn out as bad as he thought. It was just lunch after all. It wouldn't last for very long. He couldn't just avoid Sakura's friends of wanting to talk with her anyway. Long as Naruto didn't keep touching Sakura… it will be fine.

"Where do you wanna go, Sakura-chan?" Naruto piped up through their silent walk.

"Oh um… Up to Kakashi, since he's buying us lunch... _Right?_ "

"…"

Kakashi shot her a glare. Perhaps he deserved it from this morning, but he would deny it up and down to her that he did. He felt another nudge against his arm.

"Fine…" he said reluctantly. If it would make her happy he supposed he didn't mind paying for Naruto as well.

"Oh, really? Sweet! Oh, oh…Kakashi-sensei… How about we have ramen?" Naruto popped in.

"Oh god, you still can't quit ramen can you?" Sakura muttered. She couldn't believe he was still fascinated with ramen. Ramen was like crack to him. His love affair as far as she knew started in middle school and never went back. She was pretty damn sure he ate so much that he would turn into a bowl of ramen himself. What exactly would he do if the world ran out of ramen? Probably end up homeless looking somewhere panning the streets of Tokyo for his beloved addiction.

"Sure whatever and you don't have to call me sensei anymore…Um, there's a shop near the front of campus we can go to."

Naruto's eyes seem to sparkle in delight that they were going to have ramen as he did an approving fist pump in the air.

"Alright! Hey so, Kakashi- _sensei_ , you really aren't teaching here?"

"No..."

"Oh, weird. Wait, so you go here?"

"Mmhum."

"Aren't you too old to be in college?"

"…"

"He's not old, Naruto," Sakura butted in.

Somehow Kakashi felt inwardly relived hearing her say that. Once they made it inside the shop they were seated at glossy Chinese patterned table. The shop itself was a generic scene of various Asian memorabilia. It was kind of packed right now since it was the peak of the lunch hour. The restaurant was a pretty convenient and fast way to pick up lunch being so close to the heart of the campus. Kakashi felt a little irked again watching Naruto hurriedly snagging a seat right next to Sakura. Like, really close. Arms touching close. He mentally sighed. Honestly, why was he feeling this way? It was so juvenile. Yet Naruto's constant grinning at Sakura made him want to punch his smug face.

Kakashi decided now would be the best time to distract himself as he pulled out his book and started to read. After they had placed their orders Naruto started chattering away.

"Sakura-chan! I've missed you. We've yet to go out together since we've started living here."

' _Go out?'_ Kakashi thought feeling more irked glancing over his book.

"Eh, well I'm busy so…"

"Awwwe, come on. You need to come out with me sometime. Me and some other guys hang out that were from our class. You need to come with us! Ino said she would come too when I talked to her couple weeks ago."

"Busy."

"Every weekend?"

"Yeah… Pretty much…" Sakura glanced at Kakashi when she said that. He felt happy for slight moment. Naruto sighed. He turned his attention to Kakashi.

"Why'd you quit teaching at our school?"

"Searching for a new path in life."

"Ha ha! I remember you saying something like that every time you came to practice late."

"...It was true."

" _Riiightt_. Hey, so do you two usually have lunch together?"

"Um…"

"Cause…If you do we should all get together each week!"

"…"

The waitress thankfully kept him from having to reply as their food was placed on the table. Naruto had already begun guzzling down ramen before Kakashi or Sakura had a chance to even break apart their chopsticks.

"Sroo, Saakura," Naruto began to mumble while still chewing.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," she sighed back a bit disgusted.

He gulped. "Sorry, but really… You don't have _any_ time at all to come out with us?"

"I just have other things to do…"

"Like what?"

"Studying…"

"That's it?"

"HEY MISS! Another pork cutlet bowl please," Naruto added as he flagged the waitress before she passed them. She nodded and went to place in the order. Kakashi sighed as he turned his attention back to his book hoping Naruto wouldn't order anymore.

"Um…" Sakura slowly responded.

"You promised we'd go out after classes started..."

"Well…"

" _Pleaseee_?"

"Eh…May–"

"–She's busy with her boyfriend," Kakashi uttered behind his book with one hand. He was already getting tired of listening to Naruto keep pressing her.

A blush spread on Sakura's face as she stared into her soup.

" ** _WHATTT?_** Sakura! Ino didn't tell me that! You never tell me anything anymore!"

"Kind of… happened recently…"

"Someone I know?"

"Uh…"

Sakura glanced at Kakashi again as he seemed completely emotionless as usual. How could he act so indifferent? It was like a switch. Comparing to how he was outside of his mask it almost seemed like a night and day difference. He saw her looking at him as he responded with a usual eye crinkle as he flipped a page while she struggled to find a response. He had easily just made this more awkward than she bargained for agreeing to have Naruto come along. Least Kakashi would end up paying for it in the end as she originally planned. She knew Naruto well enough to know exactly how much ramen he was going to order.

They did just start officially being together, but she wasn't sure how to handle spreading the news to all of the people she knew. Especially if they know who exactly Kakashi was and how they would react to that. Yet, she didn't want to feel ashamed being with him. So why shouldn't she be honest?

After a couple of minutes of silence while she was debating what to say another bowl was placed in front of Naruto as he began to dig in already.

"Wrelll?" Naruto mumbled through slurps.

"It's Kakashi."

Naruto began to choke as his eyes slightly bugged out.

**_-COUGH- -COUGH- -HAK-_ **

Sakura began to pat his back. She didn't think her reply would choke him as she watched him struggle for air…

Kakashi sighed as he placed down his book. He supposed he would do the heimlich maneuver, but only if Naruto started to turn blue. Eyeing the clock on the wall he calculated how much time he would had left to doing it without him being close to actually dying. Or maybe someone else would step in if he was lucky. Thankfully it didn't come to that as Naruto began to catch his breath again. A few stares lingered their way.

"WHA- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" Naruto said with minor coughs as he pointed a shaky finger at Kakashi.

" _Him?_ Are you joking?" He looked towards Sakura expecting her to nod yes or maybe tell him it was a different person named Kakashi.

"No," Kakashi answered coolly for her as he began to stir his soup with his chopsticks.

Naruto blinked and shifted his gaze between Kakashi's unamused face and Sakura's blushed face feeling more and more uneasy. He leaned towards Sakura to whisper something in her ear.

_"Sakura… He's joking, right?"_

Sakura sighed and responded aloud, "No, Naruto."

Naruto's expression turned glum as he seemed to have lost his appetite for a moment. Sakura imagined this is what his expression would have looked like if a ramen apocalypse were to happen. She hoped at least as a friend he wouldn't care who she dated. That was probably wishful thinking. Especially since he seemed to never want to give up talking with her after they ended their short week long relationship on a romantic level. Perhaps he still wanted to be with her and felt depressed by it?

Kakashi enjoyed the moment of silence at their table as he ate. He was surprised at what he heard next though when Naruto finally broke the silence after appearing lost in thought for a moment.

"Oh, Well… I'm happy for you two then."

"Oh…?" Sakura replied as she seemed surprised as well. Now she had to wonder if _he_ was the one who was joking here.

"Yeah, Well… I know Kakashi-sensei as my old teacher, but I know he's a good guy… So…. You know… Whatever makes you happy?"

"Ah… Well… I appreciate that..."

"Um… same," Kakashi added slowly still rather surprised. Maybe Naruto had grown up more than he had thought as well?

"Even though… Kakashi-sensei is probably about as old as Mt. Fuji–"

Kakashi inwardly sighed. Maybe Naruto wasn't mature after all.

" –Or the sea…Or the air… Or the Earth… Or Mars… Or Juniper… Or Saturn…Or the solar system… Or the galaxy… Or–"

" ** _Naruto!_** " Sakura cut in as she plowed her fist into his shoulder. Naruto seemed to have gotten a nice blow to the arm as he rubbed it tenderly starting to get tears in his eyes.

"I-I'm joking!" he replied.

Despite Naruto's little joke Kakashi felt more at ease throughout the rest of lunch. Sakura had sweetly defended his honor, well age, which Naruto will be reminded by a lovely bruise on his arm for awhile. Naruto didn't press about their relationship anymore, but still wanted Sakura to come out with on a night out with friends. Even inviting Kakashi to come along, but he wouldn't have any idea what to do even if he did agree to go. His and Sakura's age didn't matter when they were together but in groups it would completely obvious. The differences of what's considered fun or what they would probably talk about. Kakashi had to wonder if Naruto talked about ramen all day. He felt sorry for whoever were friends with him. Naruto did unfortunately talk about that for most of their lunch. The different kinds ramen he's had and why a certain flavors mixed together was better than another. After they had finished lunch they walked back towards campus.

"Let's meet up next Monday!" Naruto said excitedly as they stood at the university's gates.

"…"

Kakashi had already decided he would do whatever he can to not make this happen again. Unless Sakura asked…which he was really hoping she wouldn't. Naruto reluctantly left them alone as he parted ways with them. Kakashi turned to Sakura seeing Naruto had disappeared far enough not to hear them.

"Sakura…"

Sakura shyly looked up at him. "Yes…?"

"I hate you."

"What! You can't hate me. That's not how this game works."

"He ordered fifteen bowls. _Fifteen_. Sakura."

"It's a decent payback for harassing me this morning."

"Now I'll have to tap into my savings…"

"See this…?"

Sakura held up her hand and circled her index finger on her thumb slowly as her expression changed to look incredibly sad.

"I play a sad song for you."

"…"

Kakashi promptly replied by tickling her sides.

"Gah!" Sakura struggled away as they began to walk deeper into the campus.

Finding Kakashi no longer threatening her with more tickles she held his arm as they walked. A few people would glance their way, but Sakura didn't mind. She wasn't sure how they probably looked together like that, but she was happy. Kissing him goodbye as she left to her next class she hoped the coming days she continued to spend with Kakashi would be just like this that could only be described as one word:

Bliss.

* * *

About two weeks had flown by as it was getting closer to mid September now. Much like the leaves that were starting to hint at the beginnings of the autumn season that would fully flourish in November, Sakura's and Kakashi's relationship had been steadily building stronger. It felt so natural to be together. In a lot of ways Sakura felt like they had been together for several months rather than weeks. She felt that comfortable with him and she was sure he felt the same way.

This weekend was no different from previous ones as morning light crawled within the walls of Kakashi's room stirring her awake. There was a soft green glow around the windows as the curtains were trying its best to hold back the sun behind it's weaved fabric. Turning her cheek against the pillow Kakashi slept beside her peacefully. She had a hard time trying not to bring a hand to his delicate face in not wanting to wake him just yet. Tugging at his arm draped across her stomach she slowly pulled it away.

"Mrff…I don't want to eat it…" he muttered in his sleep.

Sakura held herself still for a moment wondering if he had woken up. Seeing no other movement she tugged at his arm again.

"Swashbuckling…" he mumbled in his sleep again this time turning his body more into his pillow as his brows furrowed. Sakura wondered what the heck kind of dream he was in. Did he think he was a pirate?

She had never seen him talk in his sleep before. Holding back a laugh she slowly rose from the bed and planted her feet on the floor. Deciding to make breakfast for them again this morning she stretched and readjusted her night shirt. She had somehow lost her shorts during the night due to Kakashi so she wasn't sure where exactly it was now. Not that she minded. Sakura made her way downstairs tracing her hand down the smooth banister as she stepped slowly hoping to not make much noise.

**-clank-**

Sakura stopped as she heard that.

' _What the heck was that?'_ she thought.

Glancing around as she came to the bottom of the steps. She didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Maybe it was something from outside…? But it certainly seemed like it came from inside. She felt uneasy, but decided ultimately it was nothing as she walked into the kitchen.

Sakura's heart leaped as a pair of eyes stared at her from the dining table as she entered. It was a man… with medium length brown hair that was partly tied back. He had a spoon in his mouth frozen in mid-bite. A box of cereal was opened beside him as well along with an opened jug of milk.

They stared in silence.

Sakura slowly began to step backwards as her heart continued to pump. Who the hell was this and how did they get inside? She was ready to scream if he made any sudden movement.

"Uh…" he fumbled with taking the spoon from his mouth before he shot up from the chair suddenly.

" _AHHHHHHHHH!_ " Sakura shrieked as she ran into the hallway.

"W-wait!" he called after her.

Sakura was at the end of the hall before she saw his head poke in from the kitchen's archway.

"Shhhh…" he said with a hand to his lips starting to approach her quickly.

Panic had long swept into her veins as she made a dash up the stairs quickly almost losing her footing on a step.

"S-Stop!" the man uttered desperately.

"KAKASHI!" she yelled.

At the top of the steps Kakashi had ran into her still half asleep wondering what the heck was going on. She held his waist trying to catch her breath.

"There's some creepy man downstairs!"

"Wha-What?" Kakashi replied holding her shoulders worriedly until he looked peered down the staircase.

Worry was replaced with annoyance. He sighed and gave Sakura as reassuring hug.

"It's just an idiot friend of mine. I apologize for his lack of a brain of knowing not to break into people's houses…"

The man held up a hand sheepishly grinning. "Um… My bad… Scaring… uh… your…W-who's that, Kakashi?"

"Okay seriously Genma, I told you to stop breaking in my house."

"Then move your spare key outside…"

" _I have_."

"Okay. Make it harder."

Kakashi groaned. Letting Sakura slip out of his arms he whispered to her to get changed. She nodded unsurely and disappeared into his room. Stepping down stairs now he stopped in front of Genma and coldly glared.

"Really, Kakashi. Who's that girl? I thought you had given up women and had become a monk by now?"

"She's my girlfriend… _Okay_?"

Genma looked shocked. "Wait, how old is she?"

"…"

"I'm just wondering if my friend's going to end up in jail or not… I am eyeing that TV over there of yours if you do."

"Not funny," Kakashi responded coldly.

"When did all this happen? When you moved?"

"Pretty much."

"Huh… Never would have thought."

"So… I'm going to say this nicely."

"…?"

"Leave."

"But…"

" _Now_."

Sakura emerged from Kakashi's room changed into some blue jean shorts and a knit top. Stepping down slowly towards them she felt nervous wondering exactly who this guy and what exactly he was doing here unannounced.

"Oh, um… Sorry I scared you…" Genma utterly apologetically while glancing at her up and down.

"Its fine…"

"I'm Genma."

"Sakura."

"Oh, what a lovely name!" he said flirtatiously with the best charming smile he could muster. Kakashi sighed.

"Genma. Go."

"But I came all this way for your birthday…"

"…"

Sakura gasped in shock. "What! It's your birthday?"

"It sure is!" Genma said excitedly as he patted Kakashi's back heartily.

"I figured you would be lonely and depressed so I came early today to cheer you up… You know guys from back home are coming tonight, right?"

"…"

"My plan was to get you trashed and drag you into a strip club for some intimacy, but I guess you aren't lonely…"

Sakura felt uneasy at the mention of Kakashi going into a strip club… Did he usually do that…? Is that what men usually did to have a good time? She felt a bit disgusted thinking about that. Her face seemed to show what she was thinking. Kakashi picked up on it and began hating Genma more and more by the second.

"Pass…" Kakashi muttered.

"Well, they are coming no matter what…"

"I don't want a celebration."

"See, we knew you would say that. You don't have a say in the matter. Sorry. They are all coming tonight no matter if you like it or not. Everyone's missed you since you've left."

"…"

"Kakashi… Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" Sakura spoke up sadly.

"It's not a big deal… so…"

"Yes it is! Now I feel bad."

"Ugh.."

Kakashi glared at Genma. This was all _his_ fault. Deciding he had already done enough damage he turned his friend by the shoulders towards the door. "Leave."

"Where am I going to go?"

"Not my problem."

"I am coming back tonight."

"…"

Before closing the door on Genma, Kakashi held out his hand shooting another glare at him.

"Give it."

"Give what?"

"You know what."

Genma sighed as he reached into his pocket to pull out a key and reluctantly gave it to Kakashi.

"See you tonight!" Genma yelled before seeing the door slam in front of him.

Kakashi turned to find Sakura cross armed staring at him. Apprehensive of what she might say he sighed.

"What...?"

"I wish you would have told me…I thought.. I don't know… You'd least tell me something like this…It kind of hurts…" Sakura started to say as she glanced at the ground.

"I... don't really ever celebrate birthdays…without being forced to… So…I didn't care to… Sorry…"

Sakura wondered if it dealt with his past or not in not wanting to share something as simple as a birthday. Or maybe he was more self conscious about his age around her more than she had originally thought. She was determined to make the best of it though. Maybe he had lots of unhappy birthdays growing up?

"Oh… well… it's okay. I understand," she replied.

Kakashi looked relived after hearing her say that. He took in a breath. Sometimes he loved his friends and other times like now he hated them. Though he probably should have known better they might pull something like this without telling him. Just to annoy him. Kakashi leaned in towards Sakura and kissed her forehead.

"Well… I think it's best if you went home for tonight," he started to say slowly unsure how she'd react to that.

"What? Why…"

"I don't care for you to be around my friends if their intention is to probably drink all night."

"Well… but I want to be here for you."

"I know, and I appreciate that. It's likely to be only guys here and I'd feel really uncomfortable leaving you alone for more than a second…"

"Oh…So I'd be a bother…"

"No…"

Kakashi sighed. He wasn't sure if there really was a right way to say it anymore nicely. He knew how his friends were. Chances are he would probably be forced to drink more than he'd want to. He would definitely not want Sakura to see him like that. Who knows what he would do if he couldn't think clearly. If he ever forced himself on Sakura… he would never forgive himself.

Sakura frowned. She really didn't want to leave. Why couldn't she stay? Sure… she wouldn't know anyone… except whoever was a teacher of hers and they were likely way older than here…and maybe it would be really weird being the only girl…

Sighing at that last thought it was apparent it this would be awkward if she forced herself to stay. In the end she supposed all that mattered to her is that she got a chance to do something for him for his birthday.

"Well, can we do something together for your birthday… another day then if I go?"

"Sure."

"Okay…"

"Today's Friday so… How about we do whatever you want Sunday?"

"Why not tomorrow?"

"I might be sick…"

"Oh… Well, okay."

"Good… So, let's get ready to leave, okay?"

"Okay," Sakura responded still half sadly.

"Oh," she added before taking another step.

Kakashi looked confused as Sakura wrapped her arms around him and leaned a sweet kiss to his lips.

"Happy birthday," she said.

"Thank you…"

He kissed her back still finding it weird to hear that being said to him. It always seemed foreign no matter who said it to him. Honestly he would rather just forget about it and treat it just like any other day. He didn't want to celebrate being born or involve himself being the center of anything if he could help it. Yet, still the people around him tried. He couldn't exactly understand why it was a necessity to. Perhaps that's just how it was for normal people… to have happy celebrations and parties for things. It was just strange to him. Maybe he would always feel this way about it.

Kakashi hoped his friends wouldn't do anything stupid tonight… or that he would do anything stupid…

_TBC_


	18. Unhappy Birthday

**Chapter 18: Unhappy Birthday**

Kakashi grumbled as he reluctantly started to invite people inside his home sometime after night had well settled itself into the vast sky. Most of them either had various cases of alcohol with them or a couple platters of food to snack on throughout the night. The annoyance Kakashi was feeling from their little unannounced planned surprise visit today started to fade. He did actually miss them more than he would openly admit. It was a nice feeling knowing how even though some things change, some things stayed the same. Having Sakura fall into his life he really didn't realize until now how isolated he would have been being by himself this whole time since he moved here. Everyone here probably thought he's been lonely this whole time and was all the more reason to come. Well, everyone except Iruka and Genma now.

His throat burned after taking a shot of tequila with Genma to shut up his pestering to _loosen up_. Not that he had anything against drinking, but Genma's enthusiasm to get him plastered was not sitting well with him at the moment. Kakashi had long been there and done that knowing full well the after effects of drinking heavily. He didn't care to experience that again. It was all good and fun until you went past a certain limit. Long as he didn't forget how much he drank tonight he figured he would be okay… He hoped.

Everyone was gathered in the kitchen now chattering away. Screeching the chairs around to fit everyone they forced Kakashi to sit at the head of the table. Deciding to have some traditional sake to start, filled cups were prepared and slid around the table.

Genma cleared his throat and raised his cup, "A toast, to that old goat down there."

Everyone hushed with a few snickers and listened intently as they held their glasses respectively.

He added, "You know you're getting old when the only thing that you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it."

Various low chuckles erupted around the table.

"Very funny," Kakashi said with a small glare.

Glasses clinked all around. Everyone drank while deciding amongst themselves they should start off playing some poker. When he was living back at their home town they would meet up almost every weekend most of the time to just have a game and shoot the breeze. Given most of them were teachers they had a fun time swapping student horror stories. Most of time the subject was latest national sport matches going on, movies or one of Kakashi's least favorite subjects: women.

"So, Kakashi…"

Poker chips stacked together clinked in Genma's hand almost subconsciously moving them between his fingers as he spoke. A devious smile was spreading slowly on his lips. Kakashi already knew what he was going to say and began to already shoot him an icy glare. Unfortunately it didn't falter Genma's next words out of his mouth.

"Why don't you share about the latest love in your life I saw this morning?"

A bearded man with raven colored hair who taking in a drag of his cigarette began to cough in surprise and choked out, "W-what?"

Kakashi sighed. He didn't want to talk about this. Eyeing everyone's bemused faces they all looked pretty damn interested in what Genma was going on about except for Iruka, who began to look incredibly uncomfortable in his seat averting his eyes to the table.

"I have nothing to say…" Kakashi said hoping by some miracle they wouldn't press further about it. It was his birthday. Couldn't they least grant him that wish? Oh wait. His birthday just meant _Let's Harass Kakashi Day._

"Hasn't it been _years_ since you've been with someone?" someone murmured amongst a couple of whispers.

"I thought for sure you were going to join a monkhood or something," the raven haired man further commented with a cigarette tilting at his lips.

"I said that too Asuma!" Genma happily added.

"I have nothing to say," Kakashi repeated more dully.

"Kakashiii! No need to be shy. Being in love is the true essence of youth!" A man with the most unflattering bowl cut hair style uttered next to him with a thumbs up.

Kakashi rolled his eyes and leaned his masked chin against his hand. "Can you just deal the cards already…?"

Clearly not going to be getting many answers from him, a few of them threw some questions towards Genma. What did she look like? Was she tall? Short? Sexy?

"Well… its obvious Kakashi likes jailbait…" Genma began to say teasingly.

Questionable glances went back at Kakashi. Already the question of his relationship was off to a great start. Ignoring their stares he looked unamused as he folded his arms. Suddenly this was turning into an interrogation.

"Kakashi! How old is she?" Asuma uttered.

"…"

"Hum… By your silence I'd say…Twenty…five?"

"…"

"Twenty…three?"

"No way she's even that old," Genma harped in smirking.

Everyone looked even more shocked while a few muttered sarcastically they were jealous. Kakashi wondered why was he friends with Genma again? He was having a hard time remembering. Shifting his weight in the chair he debated if he should throw his sake cup at Genma's face right now. Admitting who and exactly how old she was… He already knew he would be pissed off at any crude remarks they'd might utter their opinion on. He was already irritated as it was with them going on by the dropped hints from Genma.

Kakashi sighed and said, "Look… I'm not going to comment about it. It's not really anyone's business. So drop it."

A few seemed surprised to find it was a touchy subject for Kakashi. It was a rare thing to ever see him get worked up over anything. Given he was usually pretty laid back to just about anything. This only was making their curiosity more persistent.

"Take another shot and we'll drop it for now," Genma smirked.

Sighing at Genma's obvious little game for bringing it up in the first place, Kakashi definitely would rather avoid the subject. So more alcohol it was.

"Fine…"

After he took another shot Genma added, "At least for an hour."

"…"

They stuck to their word for now not pestering about his mysterious new love interest and began to finally pass out the cards. It didn't however stop them quietly murmuring to themselves as they speculated who exactly this woman was. Kakashi was pretty sure that they were putting gossiping housewives to shame how they were going on. Was his romantic life really that interesting? Sure, he couldn't clearly remember last time he had one… but that was beside the point. Inwardly sighing at that thought he supposed they had a reason to be all surprised.

Glancing over his cards at an amused looking Genma he wanted to make sure he didn't at least lose to that loud mouth in poker. There was at least one great thing about his mask. He could make a poker face without even trying making him always unpredictable in his plays. Tricking them into acting like he had tell signs like rubbing his nose or scratching his cheek throughout the past couple of years he always had them guessing. He loved poker.

Already getting close into an hour into the game it wasn't too long before he was gaining momentum. He wasn't going to be merciless today. Now he was determined to beat everyone into the ground.

"Royal flush," Kakashi said in an almost bored tone as he tossed his cards into the table.

A lot of aggravated groans replied back as a response.

"Sometimes I think you must be cheating," Asuma grumbled.

"What? Me? Cheat? _Never._ "

Enjoying their guessing stares if he actually was or not he happily took his winnings from the pot. Tapping his fingertips lightly against the beer he was idling sipping now he wondered what Sakura was doing now. Was he missing her already? He felt silly. How could he begin to miss someone for just over a couple mere hours? Realizing that his other hand had propped his chin up the cuff of his shirt smelled like her. He loved the shampoo she used lately. It smelled like a mix of wildflowers and cherries. It certainly complimented her usually cherry flavored lips well. He wasn't going to get to see her until Sunday…God. He really was missing her, wasn't he?

He was starting to forget how many cups of sake he had earlier. It wasn't long before Genma was pestering him again to have another shot as a porcelain cup was slid down the table.

"It's been an hour. So, are you going to share with the class yet?" Genma asked teasingly.

"Nope."

"Drink up then."

"…"

Kakashi knew he probably shouldn't. He was starting to get that feeling of being… _pretty good_ right now. Yet, he still didn't care to talk about Sakura. Genma was going to turn him into an alcoholic, wasn't he? He was glad he ate earlier to absorb hopefully a lot of it. Also the fact that his friend Guy… the lovely bowl hair cut fellow from earlier had challenged himself for whatever reason to have just as many and then some to prove he could handle it. He seemed to do this each time they got together. Making one way contests against each other he had no say in. Nor did he ever try. Seeing Guy drunk would be funny like always though. Enjoying the chatter when they weren't trying to pry information from him about Sakura, he was overall having a decent time reminiscing with them and catching up what everyone had been up to over the summer.

Rubbing his masked face now, he wasn't sure what time it was anymore as he decided about three or however many hours ago he had no hope of not wanting to drink anymore. Somehow or another they started to play drinking games after they were tired of losing to him in poker. He wasn't sure how he got bullied into it playing, but he was regretting it now as he was having a hard time going up the stairs to the restroom. Why did he have to have so many stairs? He stood lazily on the third bottom step staring towards the top like he was looking at Mt. Everest itself. Slowly but surely he pulled his way up clinging to the banister. Making it to the top he thanked the powers that be he didn't fall backwards as he entered the bathroom to relieve himself. It was taking him forever not to make sure he didn't miss the toilet and it didn't help he heard a distant crashing kind of sound which startled him.

Washing his hands now he had to focus a little more than he really should have into accomplishing a simple task like that. Hearing a message sound off from his phone in his back pocket he slid it out and tried to unlock the screen. His phone had a puzzle piece you had to put into place so it would unlock. After failing the third time of trying to place it correctly he sighed. This really shouldn't be that hard. Determined to do it, he went about as slow as a snail and dragged it into place until it unlocked. A message from Sakura popped up.

' _Hope you're having a good night… sweet dreams ;)'_

Inwardly he felt his heart fill with a kind of tenderness reminding him how much he was missing her tonight. He wanted to text back sweet dreams to her… but he wasn't sure if he could. He began to try.

' _swweertt rims'  
_  
That didn't look right. He tried again deciding to use the auto-filled words that would pop up when he started to type a word.

' _swayed balls'  
_  
He sighed. Moving his thumb to delete it again he accidentally pressed send instead. He panicked.

"Fuck. Fuck."

He stared hoping perhaps she wouldn't respond. Or maybe he was asleep right now and didn't know it. Unfortunately it was neither since his phone had already sounded off in receiving another message. She had indeed replied.

' _...'_

Trying to make a message that would make sense he tried to type again.

' _srry i meeant…'_

Deciding that was as closest thing as a sentence so far he sent that part off first and tried to complete the last set of words.

_'swayed balls'_

Fucking. Auto-fill. Kept putting that in now. Trying to delete it he pushed send accidentally again.

"Fuckkkkkkkk!"

Deciding to stop what he was doing and that he shouldn't have even tried to reply in the first place he placed his phone on the counter and decided to leave it there for now. He will just… fix things with Sakura tomorrow. Finally leaving the bathroom he stood at the top of the stairs. How was he going to get down...? He sighed. He must be really fucked up right now. When did that happen? Clutching the banister again he slowly made his steps downward. Almost missing a step he caught himself. He really was hating stairs right now. He had to use a kind of tunnel vision effect focusing just on his feet just to make sure he'd step without breaking his neck.

Somehow he made it. Trying to collect himself again he went to the dining table. He was surprised when he stepped into the room to find no one there. Glancing around he felt uneasy. Feeling like he was swaying where he stood he pouted his bottom lip in confusion. Where the hell was everyone…? They didn't leave without saying goodbye did they? Noticing the sliding door was slightly opened he trudged to it and opened it fully. Crickets greeted him with chirps at a distance. Glancing around in the dark that was slightly illuminated by the porch light he heard voices near the front of the house. Wet dewed grass licked at his shoes as he walked into the front lawn to find a few people standing around looking for something.

"Um… What's going on...?" he asked while not sure who was in front of him until his shadowed face appeared starkly against one of the street lamps.

"Tenzo…" he added.

"Guy… Um… Hey, you don't look so good," Tenzo replied taking a hold of Kakashi's shoulder for a moment like he was about to fall over.

"I'm fineeeee…"

"Okay… Well, Guy kind of ran off somewhere... and he doesn't seem to be wearing clothes since we found them on the back porch…"

"…"

"And Aoba kind of passed out on the hood of your car…but I'm sure he'll wake up soon…"

"…"

"And… uh… Kotetsu and Izumo started to fight and they kind of broke your window by the front door…"

"…"

"I'm sure they'll pay for it…they are taping it up right now…And um…"

"Okay… how the fuck did this all happen in the time span I went to the restroom?"

"Got me."

"…"

Kakashi sighed. What the hell kind of punishment was this? Rubbing his eyes he tried to focus. Genma popped up in front of him after he opened his eyes again to find him patting him on the shoulder with an amused face.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Not… anymore…"

"Oh, so there may or may not be vomit in some of your plants in the backyard. Blame Guy."

"…"

Kakashi had decided officially. This was the worst birthday ever.

In the distance in the graveled street Kakashi could see three figures walking closer towards them. Stepping into the lawn it was Iruka and Asuma holding up Guy between them. His body was slouched over. All he was wearing was pink boxers with yellow flowers on them and a pair of socks. What… an interesting choice of boxers.

"He seemed to have gotten lost… and um…walked into your neighbors house," Asuma started to say.

"…"

"The man…um…Takede-san who lives in that house was kind of angry… and said he wants to talk to you tomorrow…Apparently Guy peed all over his living room," Iruka added.

"…"

"Where should we put him?"

"The ditch," Kakashi replied unemotionally.

He really would just like to leave him there. Iruka and Asuma glanced at each other for a moment.

"Are…you serious?"

Kakashi sighed. "Fine… couch."

Nodding they went towards the front door stepping around some of the glass that had fallen from the broken window. Honestly… How did he leave just for a couple minutes or whatever long it was and all hell break loose? Starting feel more and more woozy he started to drift towards the ground.

"Kakashi…" Tenzo said hoisting him back up.

"See? Wasn't this fun?" Genma asked taking a better hold of Kakashi on the other side.

"No…"

"Lies Kakashi. Look around you. This is the best time of your life."

"Fuck you."

Ignoring the venom in Kakashi's tone Genma still happily replied, "You'll thank me in the morning."

"Very. Unlikely."

"Stop messing with him Genma and let's get him to bed," Tenzo said with an annoyed sigh.

"Fine... fine," Genma replied sullenly.

Walking past his car Kakashi had almost forgotten about Aoba who was still crashed out on it. Why did he have to sleep on his car…? Why did his window have to be broken? Why did Guy have to strip and walk into someone's house? Why did Genma hate him? Why did going up stairs seem to be more difficult than walking? Why… just… so many… questions….of…. why….?

Stepping around glass as they passed through the front door Kakashi couldn't help but mutter, "This is why I can't have nice things…"

The last thing Kakashi remembered besides feeling incredibly dizzy was falling into bed with the help of Tenzo and Genma. Curling comfortably on his side he shooed them away from removing anything more than just his shoes. He felt so incredibly sleepy all of a sudden. Inhaling Sakura's sweet scent from the bedding his last thoughts was drawn towards her making him feel even more comfortable. Falling into a deep slumber nothing could stir him awake now.

* * *

Kakashi turned his head into his pillow trying to dull the bright light surrounding him. His head was throbbing a bit. The taste is his mouth… was disgusting. Reluctantly shifting his head into the bitter light he slowly unsqueezed his eyes from being shut. It was already two in the afternoon. He sighed knowing he really needed to get up. Rubbing his eyes he slowly rolled his body up and hung his legs over the side of the mattress. Deciding he really needed a shower and some fresh clothes he shuffled his feet towards the bathroom. The whole house was quiet which he was thankful for. It was most likely everyone had gone home already.

Turning on the shower the room started to get steamy. The heart that Sakura had drawn for him several weeks ago showed up dully in the corner again. Sakura. He had almost forgotten about his failed attempts of texting her goodnight last night. His phone sat where he left it last on the sink's counter. Wiping away some of the steam with his sleeve that had already started to settle on the phone he unlocked it to find his message chat opened still with Sakura. Looking at the message log… The very last message was from her… and it said…

_'Call me when you're not drunk… Thanks.'_

Scrolling up to his horror he couldn't believe what he was reading. He remembered that stupid swayed balls part, which was embarrassing enough…but after that…. There was no way in _hell_ he wrote everything under that.

_'ME WANNA LUV U LONG TIME BABY'_

'…'

_'U MAKE MEEEE SOOOOOOOOO HORNYYYYYYY'_

_'Holy. Fuck. At this shit,'_ Kakashi thought feeling rather overwhelmed as his cheeks flushed under his mask with embarrassment. The messages didn't stop there. Oh god. Why. Why didn't they stop there?  
 _  
'Y DON'T U CUM OVER?'_

' _3 WAY?'_

'YES OR NO?'

Trying really hard not to throw his phone he decided to punch one of the bathroom walls instead which the thud of his hit echoed within the hollowed walls. Who the fuck sent these? Genma…? It had to have been. That little shit. Genma was a practical joker, but this was not funny.

Not funny. At all.

He didn't want Sakura to think he was some… trashed out drunk sending crap like this to her. Taking in a deep breath to calm his nerves he decided taking a shower would hopefully help him relax and collect himself from leaving right now to punch Genma repeatedly in the face. After he stepped into the shower he felt his anger slip away slowly as the water ran through his silvery hair and down his back. Deciding what exactly to tell Sakura he would just stick with the truth and hope she wasn't too… freaked out or upset about it. She's been more than understanding about most things. Of course maybe she's really angry about it… He sighed. He just had to hope for the best.

Stepping out now he dried himself and shook the towel into his hair. Wiping the mirror above the sink with a hand he saw a weird dark mark in the mirror. Squinting, he rubbed a finger at the line finding it not disappearing no matter how hard he rubbed. As he shifted his movement his heart began to drop noticing the dark markings was following wherever his face was…

Taking the towel and fully wiping the mirror he stood frozen looking into the mirror at himself. He let out a frustrated exhale feeling anger sweep back into his veins again. He had decided right then and there.

Genma was going to die.

* * *

Sakura sighed as she looked out the window near the front door of her apartment. It was Sunday and Kakashi should have been here already. Drumming her fingers against the window's edge she reflected how pissed off Friday night she was at all the horrible texts she received really late at night. He explained later Saturday his _friend_ sent them as a joke. He apologized profusely, which made her easily wavier in not being angry anymore. It wasn't his fault after all, but he tried really hard not to meet up with her today for some reason. He didn't give much of an excuse except that he didn't think he would feel very well…

It made her worry in the back of her mind that he didn't want to be with her anymore. Maybe he had told his friends about them… and they convinced him how much of a mistake she was. Sliding her fingers down the window's pane her heart felt tight from that last thought. She really hoped that wasn't what was going on. Now he was late for the first time ever picking her up...

She had missed him so much over the weekend. Not being able to kiss him for more than a day made her feel so empty. It was crazy to her how she could feel that way about anyone. At least even more so now thinking something must be wrong. She had more or less turned on the power of guilt into making him come like he had promised. She felt kind of bad about it… but if he really did seem sick she would change her plans today into just taking care of him. If not…

Sakura didn't want to think about if not. Turning back towards the living room she began to pace until she leaned against the couch hearing only a few footsteps over the ceiling of the people who lived above them. Otherwise it was pretty quiet. Ino had already left earlier in the day on some date. She was happy for her. She seemed really excited when she left. She wish she could feel the same excitement right now besides dread that kept building more and more as time passed by.

Checking her phone there weren't any new messages. Letting out another sigh she began to walk to the front of the couch about to sit down until a familiar knock erupted from the front door. Finally. Each step she took towards the door she couldn't help but feel more worried. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself she was just over thinking things, she still couldn't help herself from worrying. She placed her best smile on as she opened the door to find a tired looking Kakashi smiling under his mask back at her.

"Hey…" she said awkwardly.

"Hey… Sorry I'm a bit late. Was trying to fix something at home… Lost track of time."

"No worries," she replied trying to smile. Shifting herself closer to him she rose up on her toes to kiss him moving her hands in place to pull his mask down. She was surprised to find her hands held back from doing so, but he leaned down to kiss her with his mask still on.

"Er…" Sakura began to say slightly confused. She tried to lift her hands towards his face again, only to be stopped once more.

"Why… can't I kiss your lips?"

Kakashi looked down at the ground unsure how to answer before saying, "Because… I'm… sick…"

He didn't sound very convincing.

"Oh… Well… I don't care…One kiss isn't going to hurt."

Sakura tried again, but he held her hands this time from going anywhere near his face. She huffed. Why was he doing this all of a sudden? Maybe he didn't to kiss her anymore…

"Let me kiss you…"

"No…"

"…"

Crossing her arms she held back the knot that was beginning to form in her throat. He turned his gaze away from her as she began to feel even more uncomfortable.

"Why not…?" Sakura said finally.

"I'm more than happy to… in like… I don't know… a week?"

"What the… Why?"

Kakashi sighed. This was the exactly reason why he didn't want to come today. Least at school during the week it would be easier from avoiding kissing her in public. He felt so embarrassed. She just couldn't understand… and he felt too stupid to say why.

"It's hard to explain… Look… I want to kiss you… but I can't…"

"Can't or won't?"

After more silence passed she added, "…If you're really sick… Just show me your face then. I won't kiss you… Okay…?"

"I…can't…do that…"

This was ridiculous. He was either hiding something or he really didn't want to kiss her anymore. Feeling a bit frustrated she stood back trying not to show in her face how upset she was getting.

"Kakashi… If you don't want to be together anymore just say so… and don't do it in some roundabout way like this…"

"What? No, no, no… That's not it."

"It's not…?"

Sakura's voice sounded relieved as she finally looked back up at him.

"Of course not...Why do you think that?"

"Then why are you acting so weird…?"

"Because…"

"Look… let's… talk more inside, okay?"

"I…uh…"

"Ino isn't here right now."

"Oh… okay then."

Taking his hand she pulled him inside and let go for a moment to close the door behind them. Grasping his hand into hers again she tugged him into the living room and nudged him down into the couch. He glanced around taking in the surroundings. It wasn't nearly as big as his home, but it looked pretty nice he thought. Once he turned his attention back to Sakura she was glaring at him. Clearly she was waiting for him to say something.

"Well… What the heck is wrong?" she asked.

"My life."

"Specifics?"

"Douchebag friends."

"Explain…"

"Okay well… as you know… and had witnessed from one of them stealing my phone… A few of them…Including myself… kind of drank a lot. I don't know if I want to go into detail what all happened but–"

"–What does this have to do with you not wanting to show me your face?"

"Well…um…"

Silence.

"Go on..."

"Uh…"

More silence.

"Uh-huh…and…?"

Getting annoyed at her smart comments he sighed.

"Fuck, Sakura. Look… It's embarrassing."

Her eyes softened as she began to feel less upset. Feeling regret in pushing him she lowered her eyes to the couch.

"S-sorry.." she stammered.

"It's okay… I'm sorry…I'm kind of on edge today," he replied.

Taking in a breath she returned her gaze at him.

"Kakashi, unless you tell me what's wrong… I won't ever understand. So… Just be honest…That's all I ask."

Looking away from her he took in a sigh.

"Fine… but…"

"But..?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"I…promise," she replied slightly confused why she would laugh.

Turning his eyes back at her he reached at the top of his mask. Deciding to get it over with fast as possible he pulled it down his mask quickly and saw Sakura's green eyes go wide. Her mouth was slightly agape in shock. Clearly drawn on his face with a marker above his lip was a black lined mustache with that curled upwards towards the end. His chin had a little triangle drawn in. It was slightly faded, but very much apparent. The look in his eyes at her could probably be best described as hate.

A split second later she turned herself completely around plowing her face into one of the couch pillows by the armrest. He could see her body twitching as she was shaking her head no into the pillow.

"Sakura…"

She shook her head no again like she was refusing to look at him. He sighed.

" _Sa…ku…ra_ …. Look at me…"

She responded with another furious shake of her head saying no. She wasn't making any sounds, but he didn't see how she could be breathing right now like that. Pulling her shoulders back she desperately still clung the pillow against her face as he pulled her away from the armrest.

"Sakura."

Slowly she turned her body towards him still covering herself with her new favorite object. She took in a deep breath through the cotton filling of the pillow and slowly moved it down revealing her eyes to him. Her face was very red and her eyes were watered. Kakashi glared at her in the heavy silence.

Sakura's eyebrows turned upward finding chuckles emitting from her throat against her will. She couldn't stop herself as she stared at his face. She began to fully laugh now behind the pillow.

"I… I…" she tried to say, but couldn't stop her insistent laughter.

She felt so bad. She promised she wasn't going to laugh, but she couldn't stop herself. She also felt incredibly relieved that he really didn't want to break up with her in acting so weird. Perhaps he wanted to now though as she kept carrying on with her laughter she tried her best to muffle. God she tried so hard to stop too. Glancing at Kakashi's face... it probably the funniest thing she had ever seen in her life.

Removing the pillow more from her face she tried to hold her lips together, but failed miserably making her snicker from her nose before exploding. Her lips parted exhaling the breath she was trying to hold in.

"I… I'm…..S-… Ssso-…Soooooooorrrrry," she uttered between laughs squealing the line as she hunched over now laughing so hard tears were coming out of her eyes. Her stomach hurt so badly.

Gasping for air now she had fallen over from the couch completely limp as she clung into the cushion still being overwhelmed by a string of giggles. Kakashi looked at expressionless as ever as he watched her practically crying now in front of him. He had a feeling this would happen, but he didn't think to this extent.

"It's permanent marker…I can't…get it off…"

Him saying that only made her laugh harder. God. She felt like the worst person ever in existent as she fell further into the floor laughing now. Taking in deep inhaled breaths feeling like she was running out of air she finally calmed herself now. She felt so worn out as she tried to catch her breath as she laid face down in the carpet. Shakily she pulled herself up to find Kakashi's face covered with his mask again. He didn't look amused at all.

"K…Kakashi…"

His eyes didn't care to meet hers as he stared at the wall childishly. Sitting in front of him now she leaned close to his face. Even though she was so close to him he wouldn't budge. Sakura felt like crap now.

"Kakashi… I didn't mean… to laugh it's just… it was… just so funny… I didn't expect that. I… I know it's not an excuse. I think I'm kind of relieved that's all you were hiding from me. So…I'm really sorry."

Remaining unresponsive he still looked at the same spot in the wall.

"I'm really… really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really…"

Sakura inhaled a breath and continued, "Really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really…Sorry."

Kakashi seemed unfazed. Sakura began to look crestfallen until an idea popped up.

"Will… you forgive me if I remove it for you? I know how to."

That finally got her a response as he glanced into her hopeful green eyes.

"Maybe."

"Okay… Be right back."

She stumbled into the floor and dashed off into the bathroom quickly. Hearing the facet turn on and off she was running back now with some supplies in her hands. She placed them on the coffee table and stood with hands on her hips.

"Lay down," she commanded.

He slid down on the couch with his feet hanging off the sides and did so while still folding his arms. Taking a warm damp soapy wash cloth from the table she straddled his hips on top of him making him grunt from the pressure on his sensitive area.

"Do you have to sit on me…?"

"Well, of course," she replied like it was the most obvious answer the world to her. She smirked and leaned over on his chest and began to pull his mask down. Starting to snicker already she turned away for a moment to collect herself. Kakashi groaned in annoyance.

"S-sorry," she uttered as she turned back finding her composure again. Placing the cloth over the markings she patted down around his mouth. Looking at the cloth it picked up a little bit, but not entirely. Swapping the end of the rag she went over his mouth again. Leaning over to the table she grabbed another towel which was dry and patted him down. She was feeling proud she hadn't burst into a giggle fit yet.

Leaning again she grabbed a bottle of nail polish remover and some cotton balls from an opened bag. Unscrewing the bottle top and shaking its contents into a cotton ball at the opening she poked around his face slowly rubbing his skin. Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut and tried focusing breathing through his mouth to avoid the strong smell. After she was finished there were about twenty blackened cotton balls on the table.

"All done. You can use the bathroom to wash your face," Sakura said cheerfully looking at her work.

"Okay."

Kakashi wasn't sure if it was truly off or not, but seeing she wasn't snickering he was hopeful. Getting up after she slid off of him he found his way to the bathroom. He let out a sigh of relief that he looked normal again, besides that his face was slightly red now. After he finished washing his face he felt ten times better now. Maybe he was over dramatizing it, but he was really unhappy at the prospect of looking like that for a week or more. Sure, he had a mask he always wore in public… but if Sakura erupted into giggles like that every time he wanted to kiss her he'd probably lose it. He felt bad now acting kind of cold towards her when he got here. It's not like he didn't wanted to be here… he just didn't want to hear her reaction. In the end at least she got it off of him. His pride only sunk maybe two notches….

Walking back into the hallway again he made his way into the living room to find Sakura lost in thought. Sitting next to her on the couch the dip of his weight snapped her back into a reality. She glanced at him shyly.

"Um… Again… Kakashi… I'm sorry I laughed…I feel…really bad…"

"It's fine. I knew you would… I guess I felt more embarrassed than I should have. I didn't think you'd cry though…"

"Sorry…"

"It's okay… I don't care to admit, but it was _kind of_ funny. Only… _kind of_."

Sakura smiled at that.

"I'm glad you got it off... So thank you," Kakashi said sincerely.

"No problem… Can I kiss you finally?"

"If you don't laugh," he said teasingly.

"I won't this time now."

"Fine…"

Not waiting for another second she leaned in towards him and pulled his mask down once more before planting her lips tenderly against his. She was so afraid earlier she would never get to kiss him again. She took her time enjoying each kiss that followed before pulling away smiling.

"So… I have something for you."

"Oh?"

"Yep! So… Let me get it. Be back in a sec."

"Alright…" Kakashi replied uneasily as she slid off the couch and dashed into what he assumed was her bedroom. Coming back out again she handed him a colorful looking bag.

"Here you go. Happy birthday!"

"You didn't have to get me something…"

"Silly. Birthdays mean you get a present."

Giving her a questionable look he reluctantly looked inside the bag pushing past some decorative tissue paper. He pulled out a wrapped box and then another item which looked like it could be a book. Tearing away the wrapping on he box… it revealed another layer of wrapping. Glancing at Sakura she only grinned. Tearing away another layer… there was another….layer… of wrapping paper.

"I was bored…Saturday," she said in response to his stares. In the end there were about twenty layers of gift wrap paper.

Kakashi glanced around at the crumpled balls of paper around them on the couch before looking back up at her highly amused face.

"You waste… so much paper," he finally commented.

"It was funny watching you opening it…"

"…"

Staring at a cardboard box now he opened the side and leaned it making a rock slide out.

"I think you meant to put coal in here," he scoffed.

"Har har. It's actually a hide-a-key thing. We both know you desperately need one…" she said while giving him a knowing glare.

"Oooh. I approve," Kakashi replied while flipping it over to the underside. It was actually weighted like a real rock, but had a hidden compartment underneath. Maybe there was hope ensuring Genma to never be in his life again.

"Thank you, I really like it," he said while smiling warmly.

"Good! So open the next one. Go. Go."

"Okay, okay."

Her smile was becoming infectious as he began to peel the wrapping away from the next present. Astonishingly she only wrapped it once. She seemed to know what he was thinking as she nodded.

"I ran out of paper so… you got lucky."

"The trees thank you."

"Har har."

Removing the tissue around it a familiar glossy logo was spread across a deep purple colored book.

_'Icha Icha: Secrets.'_

"I didn't see it in your porn collection so… there you go."

"It's not porn… It's _romance_."

"Uh-huh. Call it whatever makes you feel better at night…" she mused back.

"I haven't had time to pick up the newest one. Since I've been busy mostly every weekend because of someone," he replied while eyeing her teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, so I didn't read it and _no_ I don't want to, but I did go through it to put a message in it for you…"

"Oh?"

He flipped through the pages to find a few letters underlined here and there.

"Title made me think of doing a hidden message inside, so let me know when you figure it out," she beamed.

"Even more reason to look forward to reading it. Thank you."

Kakashi leaned in towards her to kiss her forehead. He really appreciated her thoughtful choice of gifts and even being rather creative. This was probably the only gift he's ever gotten that actually meant something to him. Crumpling all the papers of what he could only imagine was probably about a small forest of trees used to make the paper he stuffed them into the bag.

Not being able to stop himself he began to read the first paragraph his new found book. A hand had waved in front of him a minute later, but that couldn't stop him already turning the page.

" _Hey_ , I'm not going to watch you read," Sakura muttered.

"You shouldn't have gotten me a new book _and_ you shouldn't have put a message inside. I can't stand waiting."

Sakura popped her head under the book and pushed him into the couch straddling him again. Maybe he could wait for a moment longer depending what she was going to do next as he watched her curiously with her movements.

"I missed you a lot… Even if it was barely over a day," she admitted. Leaning into his chest she kissed his cheek.

"I missed you too... I'd rather be with you than anywhere else," he replied tracing one hand through her strands of hair that had fallen on top of his face. She smiled and kissed his lips again. Nuzzling her face into his neck she inhaled his scent as he held her close. She heard a flip of a page.

Bolting up from his arms she glared as he tried to hide the book he was hovering above her.

"You're… ruining the moment," she said while poking her finger at his chest.

"Hey… I meant what I said, but I need to know what you wrote…and what happens…"

Sakura sighed. This was her punishment of wanting to be with a man obsessed with Icha Icha. She couldn't be mad about it though. It did seem like he didn't have the greatest time ever Friday for his birthday, so she could at least grant him some time wanting to read.

"Alright, I'll let you read for now you pervert. Just only because it's your birthday."

Kakashi looked surprised at her response as she collapsed fully into his chest. She kissed him one final time and turned her head fumbling an outstretched hand to the coffee table to grab the remote next to the pile of cotton balls she left there earlier. Turning on the TV she hid a smile as he ran his fingers down her back lightly in an appreciative kind of way.

Enjoying the faint murmur of the TV and warmth of her body against him he flipped another page. He was pretty sure now thinking about all his past birthdays that she was the best gift of all.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should stop torturing Kakashi. D: (but it's sooo hilarious)
> 
> Any thoughts are appreciated. Ty!


	19. Laughing Through the Pain

**Chapter 19: Laughing Through the Pain**

"How can I help you… _Sir?_ " Sakura muttered as she eyed an all too familiar masked face. She tried her best to hide a smile, but was failing miserably. How could he manage to melt her heart so easily just by seeing him? She'll never know.

From the mischievous gleam in his dark eyes, she could already tell that he was plotting something. He tapped his fingers lightly against the wooden counter while looking up at menu above her head.

After Sakura received a call to set up an interview she met with the manager about a week later; it went pretty well enough. She didn't have any experience, but luckily they told her a lot of people usually didn't which made her hopeful. Mostly all that mattered was when she could work around her class schedule. It wasn't until another week had passed she learned she got the job shortly after Kakashi's birthday. It was only her third day now and she was stressed out enough as it was trying to remember all the different kinds of coffee, lattes versus cappuccinos, espressos, teas, and flavors. Who knew coffee could be so complicated?

Sakura sighed waiting for Kakashi to order as her manager was hovering in the background checking over their current stock. Her name was Fujita Kazuko and she seemed like a pleasant woman so far. She had jet black hair which was obviously dyed as her grey roots were beginning to show on the top of her head. She was constantly fixing her thick rimmed glasses that kept slipping down her nose. Kazuko wanted her to try and do the cash register and coffee making today by herself. Apparently morning shifts were chaotic and although she would be working with more people she needed to try and prepare herself as fast as possible for both positions. Right now she was working the slow shifts to get accustomed to everything. Evenings seemed like it was dead most of the time, but were steady on and off so far today. Kakashi cleared his throat finally as he crossed him arms peering at the menu.

"Okay… I want…a medium mocha latte, but I want it 1/3rd half & half, rest 2% milk, one shot espresso, one shot decaf, no whip, one pump of mocha, add one pump of vanilla, just maybe like a dash of hazelnut and if you could top it off with just a pinch of cinnamon that would be wonderful. Oh... and extra hot please."

Sakura stared at him dumbfounded for a moment and eyed her manger before whispering, "… Are you seriously ordering that?"

"…Yes."

"…"

Sakura grumbled as she picked up a medium sized cup from a stack next to the register and began writing down with a permanent marker everything he spat out. Of course he had to give her one of the most complicated coffee order she had ever heard in her life. After she made her last mark of his order on the cup she made sure to draw an angry smiley face on it with a tongue sticking out. She plopped down the cup on the counter and sighed trying to poke at all the labeled buttons on the cash register that would make a beep.

"Okay… that will be 510 Yen."

"Highway robbery," Kakashi muttered half seriously.

Sakura shot him a glare as he pulled out his wallet and thumbed through his cash. He held out a bill to her as she tried to pull it from his grasp without much success after two tugs.

"Stop making my life miserable," she whispered.

"Then tell me what you wrote in the Icha Icha book you gave me…"

It had only been a couple days and he had reread the book a couple times claiming he couldn't figure out her secret message and that there _was no_ message. She wanted it to make it challenging since he was obviously smart. He was probably just used to figuring out things in just a split second and was irritating him.

"You need to figure it out," she answered while still trying to tug the bill from his hand.

"A lot of the letters don't make sense…"

"Maybe there's some in there to throw you off…"

"…"

He let go of the bill finally as he seemed to think for a moment then saying, "Okay. Give me a hint which ones."

"No."

"Please?"

"Change your drink order…"

"…No."

"Then too bad," Sakura said as she narrowed her eyes at him.

With a clink of the register she swapped out his bill for change and placed it in the palm of his hand. He held her hand for a moment making her blush making her feel embarrassed seeing her manager eying them. She picked up the cup and was about to leave to the espresso machine before Kakashi spoke up.

"Aren't you going to ask me my name? They always ask my name to write on the cup. It makes me feel _special_."

"I already know your name…"

"But I have a special name I use when I order coffee."

"…"

Sakura reluctantly had to ask, "What…?"

" _Zorro_."

"…"

He made a motion in the air with a single finger outlining a _Z_. She inwardly sighed while rolling her eyes how he must really have a thing for movies. She wrote down his equally ridiculous "name" on his cup and started to make his order. She mumbled to herself how much he hated him as she pulled out the different milks and flavors while beginning to run the machine to make the two different kinds of espresso. Why was he so cruel to her? She was pretty sure he always just had black coffee. Jerk.

Kakashi stood nonchalantly trying not to laugh watching her stress out running back and forth behind the counter. He didn't even like lattes, but it was the most complicated thing he could think of to order. It was good practice for her. Yes... That was it. _Practice_. Well… and also maybe it was amusing watching his little Sakura blossom stress out in a cute way. She was always cute no matter what she did though. Her little apron was cute. The way a few strands of hair had fallen over her deep green eyes was cute. Her little pout she made as she cast a few angry glances at him was especially cute.

She brought this on herself. It's her fault… he couldn't figure out this damn message she put in his book. Which was hands down so far was one of his favorite Icha Icha novels from the series. Perhaps it was even more special because she gave it to him, but he loved the story. He pulled out his book from his pocket and flipped through the pages to the back cover where he had begun to write out all the underlined letters she picked throughout the book. If she really threw some in there just to throw him off maybe there was a certain pattern to it. He didn't expect it to be this complicated. He was pretty surprised she was capable of doing something that made even him baffle a bit, yet he was finding it irritating at the same time. In a good way though. He just wanted to figure it out already.

He heard the sound of a cup slam down on the far end of the counter that was meant for pick up. Sakura still playfully glared at him as he made his way to pick up his creation which he had no idea what would it would actually taste like.

"Here you are… _Zorro_."

"Thank you… You know, I think you're the prettiest barista I've ever seen."

Sakura blushed as she tried to shush him. Her manager must have heard that as she saw her in the corner of her eye. How embarrassing. Kakashi replied with a smirk as he picked up his coffee.

"I'm going to be in the computer lab at the library across from here. Let's have dinner when you get off?"

"Okay. Be like another hour," she replied still blushing while feeling like there were eyes burning into the back of her head.

"Alright," Kakashi said while smiling warmly beneath his mask before heading out of the shop.

Sakura let out a sigh of relief that he didn't do anything else to try and embarrass her just to see her blush. Turning back around, she almost jumped that Kazuko had snuck up behind her. She smiled at her politely as she adjusted the clipboard in her hand.

"You know Hatake-san?" Kazuko asked adjusting the bridge of her glasses glancing at the door that had slowly shut close after Kakashi had left.

"Oh… um..."

"I remember him from years ago. I don't think I've never seen him ever have a hint of a smile so much as I have just now."

"Oh… really?"

"Well, I think given what he's been through I can't blame him for being a depressed kind of man, but I'm glad to see he's changed for the better. He seems like a nice guy."

"Depressed?"

"Oh, you know about his parent's, right? You might be too young to know though."

"Um… apparently they died when he was eight? But… that's kind of all I know about it..."

"Ahh, well it was all over the news when it happened. This was many years ago of course, but I remember it fairly well. They were brutally murdered in their sleep by one of their house keepers…so… that must have been tough. I really can't imagine going through something like that. Especially so young."

"…"

Sakura couldn't believe what she was hearing. She tried her best to hide the shock from her face as she looked away for a moment. That was so horrible. She had no idea… She felt like even more of an idiot. No wonder it was so hard for him to ever talk about his parents. There was such a mix of admiration and sorrow for him treading around in her heart. He had to have been such a strong person to deal with something like that. There was no doubt she wanted to know more about his life and how exactly he grew up… but something like this? Her heart dropped further into her gut. How could she even possibly relate to him on that level... or any level?

It was obvious that Kazuko was the gossiping type as her voice uttered Kakashi's name again snapping Sakura's attention back from her thoughts. Part of her was feeling guilty of listening to gossip about him rather than her asking him herself. What else did Kazuko apparently know about this man that had fallen into her heart so easily?

"Hatake-san was the heir to a multi-billion yen corporation like I'm sure you know, so it was kind of a big deal at the time. There was such a huge controversy over the custody of him and his rights to the company. He ended up with his uncle, least I think that's what the papers said. I thought his inheritance was something in the millions though, but maybe something happened and works just like the rest of us… Not sure why he'd ever be here at the university if he did."

Sakura paled. She wouldn't have ever guessed he was some millionaire by the looks of his house… or how he dresses. He just seemed like an average guy. Didn't millionaires live in mansions or something? Though… he did mention he really didn't have to work if he wanted to… that he would rather make his own earnings. That was pretty admirable he felt the need to do that. Yet, he could just do nothing for the rest of his life. Why did he choose to live that way? Not that she cared or wanted any part of what possible money he might have, but it just left her with more questions about the kind of person he was.

"I see," Sakura finally managed to reply.

Kazuko looked at the clock before looking startled, "Oh, I need to finish this order and check with the other shops around campus. So, can you manage by yourself? Just call me if you have trouble."

"I think I'll be okay."

"Alright young lady. I'll be back shortly."

"No problem," Sakura replied with the best fake smile she could muster.

Her smile easily faded once Kazuko disappeared into the backroom. Now she felt rather depressed thinking about Kakashi. His parents were murdered? It was all she could think about. It seemed so unreal. So unthinkable. It had to have been so difficult… She understood now more than ever what he meant talking about dealing with the media. If it was anything like celebrities today had to deal with, he must have grown up mostly being hounded by news reporters. What kind of life must had that been like? It was just hard to fathom.

What perhaps bothered her most is that she had no idea something like this was buried somewhere inside of him. It did happen many years ago… and perhaps her just learning about it now was a shock. It was just that… if she was in his shoes… how on earth could she ever smile again? How could she keep on living? She only had her mother and some extended family, but if she watched someone murder her in front of her eyes… It…

It was just…too difficult to imagine.

She never had so much fun with anyone as much as she did with Kakashi. That was for certain. She loved his jokes and his teases. Loved how caring he could be. Loved his hidden smile that only seemed to be meant for her. Loved… just everything about what makes Kakashi… _Kakashi_. Yet here was more proof she still didn't know squat about him. What did he really feel about… well hell, just about everything? Life? What was it she could see hidden in his eyes sometimes when he didn't know she was looking? She wanted to know. Even if she couldn't do anything about it… she wanted to be there for him. She cared. She wanted him to know that she did. It just seemed so hopeless in comparison of what she could really do for him. He's a grown man after all. He knows more about life than she ever could. Maybe he had a better handle of emotions compared to her, but didn't it say something… That he would want to avoid any subject regarding his past? It still had to hurt then… didn't it? He certainly didn't seem the type to share about himself. She would rather have nothing more than for him to tell her whatever possible hidden pain that's been manifesting for who knows how long. She wasn't sure what was worse. Not talking about it or talking about it. What would be better for him? What would be better for her?

By the time Sakura's shift was over she felt so depressed just thinking about Kakashi. What his life must have been like. She knew she was over thinking it all… but she just couldn't help herself. It was making her upset thinking about what he must have been through. Rolling up her apron now and placing it into a bin under the register, Sakura waived goodnight to Kazuko after she clocked out for the night. Once outside, she crossed the bricked walkway towards the other building. She had no idea what she was going to say to Kakashi. Maybe it was best to just say nothing at all. She could at least try to do that for now. Hopefully she would start to feel better.

Kakashi had his hands folded together above his masked mouth as he seemed to be reading the computer monitor in front of him. The white glow around his face made his eyes even appear even softer when he glanced up at Sakura. She walked quietly between the long rows of desks to where he sat.

"Hey," Sakura said as she pulled a chair next to him trying to shake off her troublesome thoughts.

"Hey, how your third day go?"

"Oh, pretty good. Though, this jerk customer made the most complicated order ever…"

"Hum. You don't say," he replied with a knowing grin.

"So… did you end up actually drinking the ridiculous order you made me make you?"

"Of course."

"Don't you usually just have plain coffee...?"

"I suddenly felt like expanding my horizons today."

"Uh-huh," Sakura replied with narrowed eyes.

"I actually liked it a lot. Maybe because a _sexy_ barista made it for me," Kakashi said with a wink.

Trying her best to hide a blush she pouted and looked at the screen he was typing away at.

"You're actually doing school work?" she asked rather surprised as she realized it was a research paper.

"I don't read Icha Icha all day… Just most of the day… Among other things."

"Then what else you do?"

"…You?"

Sakura let out an annoyed sigh with a blush as she smacked his arm in how incredibly perverted that sounded.

"Ow," Kakashi replied with a hidden smirk as he rubbed his arm.

He finished up his last paragraph he was writing before saving the file and exported it to his flash drive from the computer. Standing from his chair he gathered textbooks that were laid out around the monitor and stacked them under an arm. He stretched out his other hand to Sakura to lift her up from her seat. She couldn't help but give a small smile at his gesture as they walked side by side outside into the night after he dropped off the books he was using.

The still air around them as they walked was slowly filled with Sakura's inner thoughts from earlier. It was annoying. This feeling she was getting like there was a grey cloud hovering over her. She tried her best just to enjoy his company like always, but couldn't shake this sunken mood wondering about his past. His voice snapped her out of staring at the sidewalk for a brief moment.

"Where would you like to go?" he asked.

"Anywhere you like," she replied absent mindedly looking back down at the sidewalk again. A moment later she felt a tug on her sleeve pulling her as she narrowly almost missed running into a street lamp that was close along the sidewalk.

"Ah… Eh-heh… Thanks," She replied rather embarrassed.

Kakashi interlinked her arm with his as they walked. Enjoying the feeling of his arm she held it tighter.

"Sakura..."

Sakura glanced up into his sideways glance with a smile.

"Hum?"

"Is something the matter?"

"Oh, um… no… not really," Sakura's smile faltered while she replied feeling her heart beat a bit faster. She felt bad. She didn't care to say what was really on her mind. She'd probably just make him annoyed at her for even mentioning the subject of anything relating to his past. He had reason to.

"I could tell the moment you walked in the door of the lab earlier you seemed upset… So…What happened? Something at work? You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Sakura flinched slightly not expecting him to pick up something was bothering her so easily. Maybe he knew her better than she knew herself. She sighed inwardly.

"Nothing's wrong…"

Kakashi halted their walk jolting her backwards. Unlinking his arm from her he turned her face towards him from trying to look away. She could see he did actually look pretty concerned which was making her feel all the guiltier.

"Sakura… Don't give me that. Obviously something is… I want to know what's on your mind."

"Erm…"

"Come on… _Please?_ "

He nudged her shoulder with his arm and added, "Hum, hum?"

Sakura sighed. Maybe she wouldn't get to avoid the subject like she originally planned to, but it would be for the better…so she figured.

"I don't want to make anything weird between us asking you personal things…It's not my business."

"It's about me?"

"My manager… said something and I don't know… I'd rather not talk about it..."

"You can tell me. What did she say?"

"I don't…want to ask you if it's true or not…"

Kakashi sighed as ruffled a hand through his hair trying to think of what to say. Placing his hands in his pockets he replied, "You can ask me anything… Doesn't matter what."

"I don't know…"

"Just please…ask me."

"Was…um…"

She was already losing her confidence to finish her sentence. Looking away again she stared into the sidewalk while biting her lip.

"Was… what?"

"Was… your family really murdered..?"

"…Yes," Kakashi replied heavily.

Feeling even worse now, she definitely wished she had never asked.

"I…I… didn't know… and it really surprised me to hear that… and I don't know… I just…I just feel stupid not knowing something so… serious like that. I just… had no idea," she stuttered out still not managing to look at him.

"Sakura…"

"I don't want to bother you in bringing it up. It must be really painful… and I just… realize I don't know completely everything about you and I just… I just feel stupid. I should know… Other people seem to… so…"

"You're not stupid. It was a long… long time ago. I don't want to bring up our age difference, but you weren't even born yet then…"

Kakashi felt pretty awful at admitting that last sentence. It was true… but he really… _really_ didn't like thinking that way. He didn't want anymore reminders of how much older he was than her. Looking back at her downcast eyes, the shadows of the night barely hid the small skewed frown at her lip. She remained silent staring at the ground uncomfortably until he spoke up again.

"People and coworkers around me never talk about it openly out of respect I guess. Yeah, it's kind of hard to talk about… I won't lie."

Sakura glanced briefly up at his eyes and began to say, "Okay… so th–"

"—That doesn't mean I don't want you to know or that you shouldn't know," Kakashi cut in.

"It's just… I know I've must have made you mad in me asking anything too personal… and I get why now… and I don't know… I'm sorry," Sakura replied unsurely.

"I'm not _ever_ mad about it…I just…" Kakashi paused for a moment and took her hand into his making her surprised in finding her feet moving suddenly. He pulled them both towards a bench that was just a few feet up ahead along the walkway. It was dimly lit showing a glossy green paint coating that reflected in the light of the lamp hanging above. He sat them both down and turned his knees into hers.

He took in a breath and continued, "I know I've probably seemed really apprehensive to answer personal questions about myself. I'm like that with everyone. It's kind of my way of just… keeping a wall up around myself. Its how I've been getting through things in my life. It's probably not the healthiest thing to do. I know… but getting to know you…Sakura, you're really the first person that's helped me forget about the past every time I'm with you. I haven't laughed so much… or had so much fun with someone ever. It's… a great feeling for me. A relief in a lot of ways really. I feel like I can be myself around you… It's just… really amazing to me you can do that to me."

The worry swirling tossing around in her heart slowed down a bit at hearing that. Her green eyes looked up at his tentatively as she clutched the edge of the bench with her fingers tightly.

"It... makes me really happy to hear you say that. I feel the same in just never having such a fun and amazing relationship with someone like this before. I don't know much… but I just want you to know that I care a lot. I want to know the good and bad about you. I don't want you to hide, but at the same time I only want you to share if you ever want to. So, I guess I just want you to know that I'm here to listen no matter what… I probably can't say much… Since yeah… I don't know much about anything but… I'm here all the same…for _you_."

"I appreciate that. It kind of bothers me if you're hiding what you want to know and I rather you not hear through gossip either. So just… ask me. I want to always be honest with you and I of course want you to do the same," Kakashi said softly. It was pretty obvious to him the longer he got to know her he could open up to her. Never did he think he could ever do that with anyone or even want to, but she was just different.

"I just… want to know what it was like growing up for you. I don't know really anything… about your life and…where the scars on your back from?" she unsurely asked glancing down into his lap.

He thought for a moment, looking into the night's speckled sky that hovered above them before deciding where to even begin.

"I grew up privileged I guess you can say. Private schools. Private staffs. Ridiculous mansion that had so many rooms they didn't know what to do with. My father kind of yielded his personal tastes to fit what was expected of the _Hatake_ family. Being really big about wealth and being in high society. They were really upset that he married my mother. She wasn't from any high profile family. She was just someone who worked within the company at a basic position… and through dealing with meetings with my father that's how they got together. So, they've always said things behind her back… usually in front of me… So you can say I don't care about anything that deals with my family. They _aren't_ family to me."

"I can't believe they would act like that… What did you father say about it?"

"He ignored it best he could, but there were times my mother felt really isolated about it... but she did her best. She was truly a great woman and a mother…"

"I wish I could have met her and your father…"

"Me too," Kakashi replied warmly.

He had always felt a kind of emptiness inside ever since they had abruptly disappeared from his life. He had lost his parents when he was still so young… and never had a chance to grow up with someone to watch over him. To have someone tell him they were proud of him. To have someone to be there to see his failures and successes. To have someone tell you what's right or wrong. To have someone simply just to care.

"They were murdered by one of the new housekeepers. The media and police gave out some half baked reason that they were caught by one of my parents trying to steal something and flipped out...and decided to murder them in their sleep for it. It's a lie though… and as a kid then, no one seemed to believe me. But… I was there when it happened. They were attacked. As was I. I won't go into big details for now...but I managed to escape breaking through a window."

"…Why…did they kill them then? And try to kill you too?"

"I wish I had an answer for that."

Sakura's gut felt like it must had fallen to the floor. She didn't know what to even say to that. She felt stupid in only managing to utter, "That's… really terrible…"

"My uncle ended up _volunteering_ taking care of me. The company that was in my father's name was supposed to fall into my hands but I was too young of course. So my uncle ended up taking it over and anything else that had to do with it. Which, I don't care. I don't want anything to do with it. No matter how much money its worth. He was one of the family members that were adamantly against my father marrying my mother. So, I suppose I was dirt to him. He never liked me, but played like he did on the outside like I was apart of some happy family with his two real sons. That was certainly far from the truth. You asked about the scars on my back… Well, he's the one who put them there for me to keep my mouth shut. If I did anything to embarrass him or the family… he made a point to _correct_ me…"

"…"

Sakura had started to hold her breath trying to hold back the knot in her throat. She couldn't believe this was true. How could anyone have ever abused him like that? Especially someone who was supposed to be close family… blood is supposed to be thicker than water, wasn't it? Where was the trust? Where was the love? How could ANYONE do that to another person? To a child no less. He had already lost his parents… witnessed their deaths. Almost died himself… and was further tormented in what should have been a home. It was… just… unbelievable.

Kakashi leaned an arm against the top of the bench as he placed a hand to prop up the side of his head. He stared into the distance towards the black shrouded buildings that surrounded them. His face seemed emotionless, but his eyes told a different story as he took in another deep breath before continuing the lingering thoughts that paced within his mind.

"Basically, everyday he'd go out of his way to tell me how much of a worthless trash I was. That my mother wasn't any better and that she deserved to die. I've never really told that to anyone before…It's pretty…fucked up… I know…"

Kakashi continued to look out into the distance and didn't see Sakura move a hand over her lips holding back a sob as she tried to hide in the shadows. Tears were streaming down her face and wouldn't stop. She knew the moment she looked at him she would completely lose it. It was just so incredibly sad. She was shocked. Appalled. Hurt. How could this happen… to someone as wonderful as he was?

"…It went on like that until I could finally move out on my own. I guess that's why I was motivated to study so much to get out of school as quickly as possible. I just wanted to make something of myself and to get as far away as I could from them. I didn't want any part of the company or what was left of my estranged family. I've never been back since except to get the inheritance I was rightfully due when I turned eighteen. I didn't care to claim the company. That asshole could have it. I've hardly touched the money I was inherited… I'm not sure why. Maybe because I feel like it's tainted in someway. I guess I'm just happy how I am in just making my own living. I've accomplished a lot without any help. I suppose, that's what makes me… _me_."

He turned his gaze finally to see Sakura with her head dipped low. The strands of her pink hair had fully covered her face. She looked like she was shaking.

"Sakura…"

Slowly, he moved a hand to her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. When she looked up for a split second she started to openly cry through muffles. She moved the base of her arm against her eyes and tried to shut them tight. No matter what she did. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. Kakashi immediately pulled her into his chest surprised at how upset she had suddenly gotten.

"Sakura… Why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"I- I-m sorry… I just…I just," she hiccuped between breaths.

"I just… I just… _I just_ ….." Sakura couldn't manage to even attempt to say more as she fully collapsed on his chest. She cried. Never had she ever cried this hard before. Her chest ached from the pain of her sobs.

She cried for his father. Cried for his mother. Cried for his childhood. Cried for his loneliness. Cried for his abuse. He didn't deserve to have lived like that that. No one deserved to live like that. She cried simply…for him and everything that he's ever lost or never had. She wasn't sure how long it was before she could breathe again. Kakashi's shirt was completely wet where her face had hid into his shoulder. Her hand was shaking as he cupped it into his.

Kakashi didn't know what to feel. He was completely shocked at her reaction. It's not like he had ever openly told anyone before what his life was like before he left his family, but it was just… over now. Why was she crying now? It hurt him more than he could ever describe seeing her like this.

"I'm sorry," he whispered apologetically in her ear.

Feeling a lot better now she turned her cheek against his shoulder and replied, "You don't have anything to be sorry for…"

"I made you cry…"

"I just… got overwhelmed hearing you lived like that...It's… just…almost unbelievable," she admitted.

"It's a long time ago… There isn't a reason to cry about it now."

"It doesn't matter when… Just simply that it _did_. It makes me upset I guess knowing I can't do anything to help you. At least back then…Or even now."

He really never thought much of it that way. He was never one to ever care or want to feel sorry for himself. At least he tried his hardest not to. There are all kinds of other people scattered throughout the world who's had a rougher life than he ever did. People who live in a kind of life wondering if they'll even make it to see the next sunrise. There was no point in feeling sad about his life compared to that. Or perhaps he just didn't want to think about it because it would always feel like he was making his wrapped feelings become worse, which he would rather just have had no feelings at all. Yet, saying it all aloud just now to her… he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He wasn't sure why he felt so much better now than he ever had before in a sense of just feeling relieved. Perhaps it wasn't the best thing for him to keep it within himself, or perhaps the greater reason… that he finally had someone worthwhile to share completely to.

"You _have_ helped me…Sakura," Kakashi said as he tightened his embrace around her.

"How you figure that?"

"It's the same reason you wrote in the book you gave me…"

Sakura rolled her head up from his shoulder to look him in the eyes with a surprised face.

"You…figured it out?" she asked as she sniffled.

"After you dropped that hint of not adding certain letters, it was the first thing I did when I went to the lab… which I'm very impressed you managed to stump me for a few days."

"I see… What did I say then?" she asked with a shy smile.

"It said… _'I'm glad you came into my life.'_ …and I feel the same way about you. If you hadn't… I'm pretty sure I'd still be the same miserable man I have been all these years. You make me forget about everything when I'm with you like this. You're very special to me…Sakura."

"You're special to me too," she replied feeling her heart swell seeing a smile form from beneath his mask.

Kakashi took his hands from around her waist to wipe her wet cheeks with his sleeve. She felt slightly embarrassed for crying, but she knew it just how she was. It was hard to keep back her emotions. She leaned in and slipped his mask down his face to plant a much needed kiss to his lips.

Sliding his hands around her face softly, he kissed her back and began to trail sweet kisses from the corner of her lip, up towards the cheek and finally planting a final tender kiss to her forehead. He was glad she finally seemed to have calmed down.

Tracing a finger through her hair he said, "Let's get some dinner?"

"Why…don't I make you something at home?" she asked in a tired voice, wiping away her tears one last time with a hand.

"At _my_ home?"

"No… At my apartment. I went shopping the other day, so I have something I could make. Just…come over and stay for little while?"

"Is…Ino there…?"

"Yes…but why does it matter?"

"I just feel…uncomfortable… I don't know. I guess because she was my student as well. It makes me feel strange with our relationship…"

"Well… she's my best friend… and she approves of us so… you really don't need to feel weird about it…she doesn't. It doesn't matter you were our sensei."

Kakashi grumbled. It probably really wasn't a big deal… and he should learn more about Sakura's friends anyway. He could admit he was somewhat curious how exactly they normally lived together. He also wondered what Sakura's room looked like, which he was slightly disappointed the first time he came inside he didn't get a chance to peek. She didn't have like… posters of half naked men on her walls like a teenage girl would probably have…does she? He will certainly tear them all down if so.

"Well… Okay. If you're sure she won't mind… I'll come over for a little bit."

"Okay," she replied with a smile.

They both stood from the bench which creaked slightly as they got up. Sakura was about to start heading in the direction where he usually parked at before she felt a tug on her hand.

"Hey," he said warmly pulling her into his arms.

"Y-yes..?"

"Are you okay…?"

"Yeah…I'm…glad you told me more about yourself. It's difficult… but I understand more about you….and that in itself makes me very happy. I'm glad we can… I don't know… be more open with each other."

"I'm kind of surprised that I do feel a lot better in at least talking about some of it with you… its nice getting it off my chest, I think. So… thank you…for listening."

"Thank you for sharing with me," she replied sincerely. It was still very painful to think about what he had told her. Like it had to have been unreal or some kind of fabricated story, but she knew better. That's what made it even more difficult.

Sakura felt different somehow as he hugged her briefly. His arms felt like the same warm comfort as they had always been so many times before. There was a strange kind of change she couldn't quite place, but overall the feeling that swept into her was something powerful. It wasn't until a moment later she realized that she simply felt closer. Closer to him.

It made her smile.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your thoughts are appreciated. Thanks!


	20. Chirapsia

**Chapter 20: Chirapsia**

Sakura felt like she was practically pulling Kakashi up the stairs to her apartment by his gloved hand. She had to wonder if Ino being an old student of his really bothered him that much or if he was really just shy. There was no way she felt like going out anywhere from their conversation earlier and she really wanted to stay with him a bit longer before he drove back home for the night. The sting she felt in her eyes as the air brushed past her face reminded her all the more of her tears from earlier. Her chest still ached but with each breath she took in the pain she felt slowly was being replaced with relief. Just having him with her made her feel all the better.

After she unlocked the front door she held it with her back to have Kakashi enter first. He quietly took off his shoes as he watched her relock the door. There was already a call of a voice down the hall from within one of the bedrooms.

"Sakuraaaaaaaaa!"

"Hey, Ino!" she yelled back.

Ino emerged from her room surprised to see Kakashi standing somewhat awkwardly near the door waiting for Sakura to take off her shoes.

"Oh, hey Kakashi."

"Hello Ino," he responded with a usual eye crinkle of a smile above his mask.

"Did you eat yet Ino? I was going to make something quick for us," Sakura asked.

"Oh, nope not really."

"Okay. I'll make something for all of us then."

"Want any help?"

"Nah, I got it."

"Alrighty," Ino replied.

Sakura and Kakashi made their way to the living room as Ino trailed behind. Ino was grinning curiously at how Sakura held his hand lightly with her fingers as he followed. Ino never got to see him longer than a few seconds and didn't know him personally, but she and Sakura _did_ gossip plenty about their relationship. She tried to give the best advice she could here and there from one friend to another, but he certainly did seem mysterious. Ino wasn't sure if he was as serious about her friend as much as Sakura was about him. She wanted to find out though.

"Just make yourself at home Kakashi," Sakura said as she made her way into the small kitchen area releasing his fingers from her grip. She started opening a few cabinets to rummage around the pantry. Kakashi sat at the couch and looked to see Ino sitting beside him with a smile as she twisted through her blonde hair absentmindedly as she tried to think of what to say. She glanced at Sakura for a moment as the noise of the shuffling of pans emitted. He was about to reach for his Icha book before Ino spoke up.

"Do you mind if I ask you something… If you don't find it too personal?" she asked in a hushed tone as she continued to twirl her hair hesitantly.

Kakashi gave a sideways glance with a raised eyebrow and reluctantly said, "Mm…Depends. What is it?"

"Why Sakura?"

"Why…?"

"What's your reason in being with her?"

Kakashi was kind of taken aback from the question. Why did she want to know exactly? He mulled the thought around. Perhaps because she was Sakura's close friend and maybe she just wanted to gauge their relationship? He figured he could at least try and be somewhat honest in his reply.

"Well, lots of reasons… but I suppose to sum it up… she's an amazing person."

"Ah, I see," Ino replied with a knowing smile as she looked into his eyes.

"She talks about you a lot you know," she added.

"Does she now?"

He couldn't suppress a smile from hearing that. Though now looking at Ino's grin he was slightly afraid what exactly did she share with Ino… _everything_? That's what girls usually talked about her age didn't they? His worry worsened all the more from the next words out of Ino's mouth.

"Yeah, though I'm really curious about something about a couch your obsessed with? She said you like to run around it? She kept giggling."

Kakashi's cheeks burned beneath his mask as well as he was pretty sure his heart just dropped five feet. Sakura told her about that? She didn't add the detail he was naked did she? All of sudden he really wanted to just flee from this conversation. He wanted to very much forget that incident as his pride was sinking further and further.

"Um…" he uttered uncomfortably. Shuffling a hand through his hair looking embarrassed he was pretty sure if he was maskless right now Sakura would have been thrilled to see how red he must had been.

Ino held back a laugh and said, "You don't need to say anything. Actually she told me not to mention it to you… that you'd probably look embarrassed, which you do by the way. Now I'm even more curious what it's about."

"Ah," he replied still slightly flustered. It was all he could manage to say. Least it seemed Sakura didn't tell her the whole story. He was secretly thankful for that.

Ino grinned as she turned on the television after her small attempt to pry a little bit inside her friend's relationship. She could already tell just by looking at his eyes when he talked about Sakura that he really did mean it. Now she felt slightly jealous of her to have a man like that talk so sincerely about her, but she was happy for her to find someone so caring. After their tug of war with Sasuke perhaps there would always be that sense of friendly jealously there when it came to romantic relationships.

For dinner Sakura made them a really simple chicken and rice stir-fry. Kakashi was mostly worried about what they would talk about. Would his age really that be much of a hindrance as he figured it would be in just talking simply with Sakura's friends that were around her age? It ended up not being as much of a big deal as he thought which he was glad for. Kakashi managed to loosen up a bit as they chattered a little bit about college and general day to day things. He tried to avoid talking much about their parents, but he was pretty intrigued learning more about Sakura's mother. Ino teased of how overprotective she was of Sakura. It certainly made him all the more not enjoy the idea of meeting her. He knew however in the back of his mind that he couldn't avoid it forever. Not if he really wanted to be with Sakura openly. He figured it was pretty likely she would disapprove. Though if she was as open minded as Sakura was there wouldn't be much of a problem, but he knew it was wishful thinking.

After dinner Ino excused herself in saying she had some homework to finish up in her room. Though from the hidden wink in her eye at Sakura as she left, she probably was just letting them have some privacy. Kakashi offered to finish up the last of the dishes. When he was finished he glanced around the living room looking for Sakura. Not seeing her, he dried his hands and walk into the small hallway. Sakura's door to her room was wide open as he saw her sitting on the edge of her bed with a leg folded up against her chest. She had a band-aid in her hands and peeled the paper covering away. She placed it on the heel of her foot and sighed.

"Hum, so this is what your room looks like," Kakashi said making her jump slightly, but recovered with a soft smile as she glanced up at him.

She crumpled the tiny paper of the band-aid package in hand and tossed it into a small wastebasket by her desk. Sakura replied with a slight tease in her voice, "Yep. Though it's nothing _fancy_ like yours."

His eyes darted around as he gripped the sides of the doorway before he walked in. Most of the furniture was obviously something that came with the room in how generic it looked, but was the room itself was decorated pretty nicely. There were a few abstract art pieces that were pinned against the white wall as well as a couple of traditional calligraphy works of kanji symbols. Layered sheer crimson curtains draped over her window hiding the bright moon that was hanging up in the night's sky in the distance. The fabric gave off a faint red sheen around the window's edge from the moon's light making the room warmer looking. The colors were complimented by a cozy looking rug that was placed in the middle of the room. Her room felt like more of a home than his ever did. He half wished his house didn't look so empty and bare, but he never had any reason to put any effort into decorating. It was always just him there. He never saw the point of it.

"I was kind of worried you might be one of those girls who have pictures of half naked men on your wall," Kakashi said as he walked with his hands in his pockets to peer closer at one of the paintings.

"Oh, I hid those real fast when you were washing dishes," she replied back quickly with a smile.

Kakashi stopped his slow pace along the wall to narrow his eyes at her over a shoulder.

"…"

"I'm kidding!"

He did his best bored, unamused face he could muster as he stared back blankly.

"…"

Sakura sighed and said, "Though if you want to provide me some pictures of yourself…I'd happily place them up." She stuck out her tongue at him until he finally broke into a grin.

He finally turned from the wall to come sit next to her at the edge of her bed. His eyes peered at her foot she held with a hand. It was bandaged and had some pink scruff marks along the top. She tucked it quickly beneath her other leg seeing that he was staring. He wasn't sure why he hadn't noticed earlier, but he supposed was never one to look at people's feet unless he was in a sparring match.

"What happened to your… feet?" Kakashi asked as he tried to look at her other one that was on the floor only to have it quickly moved beneath the bed.

"They are kind of terrible looking at the moment," she muttered slightly embarrassed.

"Let me see."

"You don't need to see my feet."

"Let me see," he reiterated again as he reached over her to grab her ankle. He pulled it from under her into his lap. She tried to pull it away without much success as she leaned against the bed on her elbows now. He touched her foot tenderly as he inspected it while avoiding trying to touch the bandaged areas that looked painful. The back of her heel through the band-aid had a darkened spot which meant it must have been bleeding. You would think she must had walked barefoot on rocks or something equally ridiculous in how abused they looked.

"What happened?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Well… I needed new closed toe shoes for work. So I'm wearing these new flats I got. My feet tend to get torn up a little until the shoes get broken in. Anyway, it's not a big deal."

"Why wear something that's tearing your feet up?"

"It's like that for most women shoes… unless it's something really comfortable and cushioned like sneakers."

"Then why don't you wear sneakers?"

"They aren't as cute."

"…"

Kakashi sighed as he began to massage her foot. He really wanted to roll his eyes how women seemed to choose beauty over pain. More often than not he would hear a common complaint from various women who usually wore heels on how painful they were. Then why wear them? It didn't make much sense to him. Personally he didn't care all the much about women fashion. He stopped himself from wanting to lecture her how her feet could be damaged constantly wearing shoes that harmed her like that.

Glancing over at Sakura as he worked his fingers around her sore foot she laid against the end of the bed with her eyes closed. She seemed to be really enjoying his massage.

"Give me your other foot," he said while motioning lightly with his fingers.

Sakura opened her eyes slightly to place her other leg that was hanging over the side of the bed into his lap without any complaints. He began to massage her other foot making her eyes close again.

"Feel good?" Kakashi asked already knowing from the look on her face as he smiled to himself. He continued rubbing in circles across the back of her foot.

"Mmmhum, I don't think I've ever had a massage as great as this," she replied.

Sakura inhaled a deep breath and stretched slightly into the mattress. How did his simple touches always make her feel so good? It never failed to amaze her. The press of his gentle fingers was making her slowly feel like she was turning it a puddle of mush. Her heart still felt drained from their conversation earlier about his parents but the sadness that was twisting at her insides was slowly escaping. She was feeling so relaxed. Opening her eyes slightly again she peeked through her eyelashes with fuzzy vision. She couldn't help but admire him in so many ways. He was such a strong person not just physically, but mentally. She had no doubt that he must had struggled to be the kind of person he was today. She felt really lucky to have gotten to know him for who he was now. Kind. Caring. Wise. What couldn't he do?

Her thoughts wandered about what would she be doing right now if he had never sat next to her first day of class? Class... she only had about two more months left with him in their psychology class. Then her first semester would be over. It was already going to be October once the weekend passed. Would much, if anything, change once she couldn't see him practically everyday? She had hopes she would still see him often. She felt ridiculous for a moment being worried that anything would change just because they wouldn't have a class together anymore. What would happen once he graduated though? That was certainly going to happen before she could finish school. What would happen then…?

The worries began to slip further away as she felt his hands work their way up to her ankles and slowly moved to massage around her bare calf. She already felt like putty in his hands as it was. After a few moments his fingers dipped under the hem of her khaki capris to massage her knees. From there the pump of her heart increased as he pulled his fingers down her leg and up against the sides of her thighs. She tried her best not to look like she wasn't being that affected from his sensual touches while she still closed her eyes, but was having a hard time composing herself the more she felt him linger around her hips.

Kakashi seemed to know otherwise as he saw her fight a grin at the corner of her lips at his wayward hands. Deciding to purposely make this into a game of getting a reaction out of her, he traced his teasing fingers along her ribs beneath her shirt. He leaned over her slowly still massaging in small circles at his fingertips. Once he began to rub softly around her breasts beneath her bra she began to pout in trying to ignore he was making her heart beat faster within her chest. Feeling like he couldn't deny himself stealing a kiss from her slightly puckered lips he lowered down his mask with a hand and placed a kiss against her while sucking a corner of her lip as he pulled away. He didn't get too far away as he felt her pulling him back down again with her hands now around his waist to feel his lips once more against hers.

He returned her kiss while exploring her mouth further with his tongue. Slowly he slipped his hands from beneath her shirt to glide up lightly over her chest. After releasing her lips, he cupped her blushed cheeks with his hands and looked into her deep green eyes for a moment. The look in her she had within them was something he had never seen before with anyone else. Yet, he couldn't exactly place what it was that she saw when she looked at him. All he knew was that it made him feel whole. _She_ made him feel whole.

"What?" Sakura asked softly with a hidden smile noticing he was still gazing at her.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked completely curious at her grin.

"How your massages are pure evil…"

"I haven't even finished yet…"

"…And I'm not really sure why you're so worked up," Kakashi added as he continued gently rubbing between her ribs making her heart pace faster the further he slid his hands down.

"You know exactly why," she said pulling him closer by the top of his shirt acting like she was about to kiss him again before quickly switching their positions with a small tug and push. The bed squeaked nosily from the sudden shift in weight. There wasn't any room to really lie comfortably beside each other on the bed, but she wasn't concerned by that in the slightest as she straddled on top of him. Feeling his arousal pressed tightly against her she tried not to appear in looking slightly nervous about it.

"You seemed rather worked up… I think you need a massage too," she said as she mimicked the circular motions he did to her just moments ago along his sides and up towards his chest. She slowly pulled his shirt further up as she went along. Bending over now, she explored her tongue to his hardened nipple and continued throughout his chest before rolling herself back up to find him staring back at her almost looking a bit humored.

"How do we always manage to end up this way?" he asked suppressing a grunt as she extended her hands to the top of shoulders and neck to thoroughly massage his muscles.

"Whatever do you mean?" Sakura teased as she glided her fingers down to his hips. The closer she dug her fingers into the lining of his pants the more he wanted to buck his hips into hands.

"This…" Kakashi replied half losing his voice as he pushed his hips upwards making her heart jump.

"This?" she asked rather seductively slowly pushing her hips into his once making very sure the pressure was well applied along his ever present arousal.

"Mmhum," Kakashi mumbled in agreement as he omitted a hushed moan rocking his hips upwards again with half closed eyelids. He pulled his hands down her back to scoop her firm butt into his hands before jerking another thrust upwards making her gasp from the pressure. He couldn't help but fantasize what would fully taking her would be like. He couldn't deny the thought pressed in the back of his mind every time they were in sexual trysts like this. It was times like these he truly had to think about not completely wanting to flip her over and make love to her senselessly. He didn't want to talk about the subject of sex yet, but he was more than happy with exploring how exactly _un-_ innocent she could be. He didn't want to pressure her in any way to even bring it up. Instead he tried to tell himself it didn't matter, but the desire would probably always be there. Maybe it was just natural human desire he felt, but he knew his feelings towards her weren't as meaningless as it was compared to his past lovers. It wasn't a matter of just bedding someone. It was more so about the love…

That last thought made his eyes open slightly to look at her flushed face. Did he think he loved her? Was that what he felt towards her? It was no lie that she had grown to be very special to him. Especially after today… He had never revealed so much with anyone ever before about himself, but he wasn't sure if he was even capable of loving someone. He was afraid to in a lot of ways. His thoughts dissipated as Sakura lowered herself into his chest burying her face into his neck nipping it with sweet kisses. The scent of his aftershave always prompted her into taking a deep comforting inhale before tasting the spices with her tongue. Kakashi loved every moment of it before he heard a twist of a doorknob from within the hallway open with a creek of a door opening. Before he had a chance to say anything Sakura already had hopped off him quickly looking completely blushed running to the wide open door of her room to shut it softly. She knew Ino would have completely peeked inside.

Knowing her friend's sinful curiosity she waited by the closed door for a moment with crossed arms holding in a laugh. Kakashi eyed her curiously from the bed in what she was smiling about. She waited about a minute as her hand gripped the golden door knob before she suddenly opened it just enough to hear a thud against the door. Ino looked up at her sheepishly.

"You weren't trying to listen in on us… were you?" Sakura asked through the small gap in the door already knowing clearly that she was.

"Ah, haha… I um… tripped as I was passing by," Ino said quickly as she rubbed her red marked face from falling into the door.

"You know I have a futon if he wants to stay…You two could um... _ahem_ …share," Ino added with a whisper only loud enough for Sakura to hear.

"I don't know about that, but thanks for the offer," Sakura whispered back smiling shyly.

"Well then! Carry on. Don't mind my clumsiness," Ino said aloud quickly before trotting off down the hall with a grin etched on her face. Sakura closed the door behind her then ran back to the bed before Kakashi had a chance to sit up. He began to edge up on his elbows.

"Oof," Kakashi said as he fell back down into the mattress which made the springs squeak once more. Sakura straddled him again holding his chest down with her hands to hop herself over him.

"This is exactly why I don't want to come over if your friend is here," Kakashi said as he traced the wrinkles of her shirt along her sides. He adjusted her sitting position slightly to be more comfortable which was boarding a bit on being a bit too pleasurable every time she moved just even a little bit.

"Well, I can't help that she's slightly nosy… and I also can't help I need to live with a roommate."

"Hum well…"

Kakashi looked like he was thinking about his next words carefully before he finally said, "All the more reason you should just live with me…"

Sakura blinked in surprise, "Oh? You'd… _want_ me to?"

She hid the slight excitement in the back of her voice wondering if he was serious or not. She was already staying over on the weekends and… if she could stay with him everyday… How wonderful would that be? Then she wouldn't have to worry about not being able to see him as much at college next semester. Was it too crazy already to be jumping into something like that? Normally every time she heard about girls who practically moved in with the boyfriends only after a couple of weeks she would be a bit disgusted by it... Surely that wasn't long enough to get to know someone. She's only known him since August, but perhaps she understood now how people seemed to manage to jump into living situations quickly. It didn't seem like it was crazy. At least…not when she said it out loud. It felt like she had been with him for ages and she felt very comfortable staying with him as it was. So, why couldn't she? Besides that her mother might kill her… it's not like she had to know anyway…but… ignoring that factor it seemed like a good idea.

"Just something to think about," he murmured.

"Ah," she only managed to reply with a small blush.

Noting her blush he added, "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable about the idea…I guess I figured since you stay over every weekend anyway why not… Um…Just well…"

"Oh, no I'm not… I'd... be more than happy to actually. I'm kind of surprised you'd want me to. Since well… you don't really seem the kind to…I don't know… live with someone."

"That's true, though I can say for sure that I'm always happy when you're there and…I basically just want you all to myself… Does that make me selfish?" he asked with a small smile.

"Yes. It does," she replied with a frown in a dull monotone voice like she was serious.

"Humph," he replied as if he was really hurt by the comment. He began to poke her sides in tickling her.

"Agghhh, you and your damn tickling," she muttered trying to squirm away from his hands.

Kakashi grinned as he pulled at her wrists towards his chest making her lay down on top of him capturing her lips into his. He was pretty convinced. He wanted nothing more than to just be with her. Maybe he was really selfish in wanting her to live with him. Was it really the right thing to do with someone so young and just barely starting to live on her own? Probably not… but would it make him happy? Absolutely. It almost even surprised him in wanting her to but it was also a sign of just how close she had gotten into his heart. He just knew his home would really feel like a _home_ if she was there…

"So… You would really want to?" he asked releasing his hold on her lips for a moment.

She smiled shyly in response and said, "Very much so… but… I don't know when."

"What about before next semester starts in January?"

"Well, I'm leased here until the summer…and then I'd basically be abandoning Ino..."

"I could help pay for the rest of the months rent that you have left…and I'm sure she would understand."

"I'd still feel really bad having her live by herself. I don't think I can do that."

"Well…Maybe the summer then?"

A voice broke out muffled behind the door of Sakura's room.

"You can move in with him Sakura. I don't mind and I have a friend who's looking for a new place. So, I'd be just fine!" Ino said loudly behind the closed door.

Sakura blinked in surprise as she twirled her head around to face the door. She blushed realizing Ino had been listening in on their conversation and whatever else they had been doing earlier. She sighed. She should have figured. Sakura turned back around to see him smiling up at her.

"Hum, well that settles it then," Kakashi said loud enough for their eavesdropper to hear.

"Well, now I have something to look forward to then," she said while leaning over into his chest to snugly wrap her arms around him.

"Me too," he replied warmly.

_TBC_


	21. Snowball Effect

**Chapter 21: Snowball Effect**

Sakura shook her foot nervously beneath the dining table idly checking her phone. She made it very clear to Kakashi to text her once he was just outside a little ways from her house. Glancing up at her mother who was giving her a hesitant glance here and there from across the table she told her just enough where she was going for the evening. With who exactly? Well… a _friend_ , but that vague information of course wasn't flying very well.

"Which friend?" Her mother asked again with an aggravated sigh. She tapped her well manicured nails on the table out of habit.

"Just a friend. We're going to festival and I'll be back in a couple of hours. You don't need to worry… As much as I'd love to skip out on greeting family tomorrow…I'll be back," Sakura said dully.

"It's Christmas Eve. I don't want you out late with drunks running around."

"I'll be fine."

"Why didn't you visit the festival earlier?" Her mother asked with a sigh.

"It's more fun on Christmas Eve… and you know I'm technically an adult now, right?" Sakura said with an annoyed look.

"Not in my house you aren't."

"…"

This woman was insufferable. Sakura had already returned home for an entire two weeks and already she wanted to leave about as quickly as she came. She loved her mother. She really did, but in small doses. Her mother has been driving her crazy with questions. Sakura had enough of a hard time as it was talking about what exactly she did all semester besides studying and working while avoiding any subject relating to Kakashi. Christmas probably wasn't going to be fun tomorrow. Every other year her mother's sisters would come down with their families. They would take up the entire house, including her bedroom. Last time one of their children thought it would be funny to put crudely drawn penises all over the walls. Guess who had to scrub that off? Sakura sighed. They really had no discipline and she would be expected to look after them most of the time while she was here. Such a pain. Sakura's phone buzzed in her hand. Kakashi wrote that he was outside.

"Okay! Be back later," she muttered quickly pushing her chair back fast making a loud scruff sound.

"Sakura," her mother began to say still wanting to know who this person was she was meeting up with.

Before her mother had a chance to get up to snoop outside the window Sakura was already at the front door fumbling it open quickly and closing it behind her. She ran like her life depended on it into the soft flurries of snow as her steps crunched down throughout the front yard. Glancing quickly she saw Kakashi's car parked just one house away, which she specifically asked for. He wasn't very fond of the idea trying to avoid her mother, but Sakura assured it was the best thing for now. She trotted down the sidewalk making sure to avoid any ice before she pulled open the passenger door. She plopped down inside the warm car. Sakura let out a sigh of relief and rubbed her cold hands together briefly before she placed them up to the heater vent on the dashboard.

Kakashi chucked and said, "Okay... You kind of looked like an escaped convict running like that here."

"I am," she replied while eying him seriously with her green eyes.

"Somehow I almost believe you."

Sakura pouted at that remark as he leaned in quickly while pulling a blue scarf that was wrapped around his neck and face to kiss her chilly lips.

"How've you been, _Rudolph_?" He asked as he pulled away to tap the tip of her cold red nose. She flinched.

"Did…you just call me a reindeer name?"

"Rudolph with your nose so bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?" He asked teasingly as he tapped her cold nose again. She glared.

"What kind of _sleigh_?" Sakura shot back in a seductive voice with a raised brow.

Kakashi hid a smirk and tried to look like he was disturbed, "You're so perverted Sakura. Your mind is always in the gutter. Honestly, I just don't know how our relationship works."

He let out a fake disappointed sigh as he shook his head with a tsk.

"Says someone who reads porn in public," she replied.

Kakashi held his head high and argued, "Its romance."

"It's smut."

"Romance."

"Smut."

"Romance."

"I've read it. It's smut."

"It's romanc –wait wait. Did you say you've read it?"

Now he really did look surprised as he tried to read her face. Suddenly it all made sense. His books had corrupted her. He was half worried it was just his him (though it was most likely the case). Either way it was a small victory in gaining her appreciation for his literature.

"By read, I meant a paragraph."

"Oh," he said with disappointment.

"Which one?"

"I'm not going to tell you. You'll just recite the whole damn thing against my will," Sakura replied with a playful glare.

"I would never do that."

"Uh-huh."

Kakashi smiled at her as she returned it at their inside joke. Shifting his car finally into gear he pulled out into the street to head down towards the center of town.

"So really, how've you been holding up?" he asked again. It had only been a little over a two weeks since he had seen her in person, but he never realized exactly how much he would miss her. It was the kind of feelings like that he was pretty sure some love struck teenage boy would be experiencing. At first he really couldn't believe how he could feel that way about anyone. Then he finally just accepted it. He realized this is was happiness was. It was still very foreign to him, but slowly he was learning to enjoy the fact the he could be happy. It was just something that he had barely ever experienced before in his life.

They had been in constant contact one way or another before the semester finally came to a close. You would think you would get tired of seeing the same person every other day, yet it was the exact opposite for him. There was always something new he might learn about her that would make him smile. How not only when she bit her bottom lip when she was nervous, but also when she was just thinking to herself or how those same lips would part against his easily if he tilted his head just so when he kissed her. The closer January was coming, the more he was secretly a bit excited to have her move in with him. He still couldn't quite grasp how she had changed him so much. He was perfectly fine just having a quiet life alone forever as far as he cared. Now it didn't seem possible.

"I might kill myself," she finally replied sullenly.

"And how long have you had these suicidal tendencies?"

"For the entire time I've been here."

"It can't be that bad…"

"It is. You know what I did yesterday?"

"Read _Icha Icha_?" he asked jokingly. The day she would do that and _admit it_ is probably the day pigs might fly.

"No."

"Danced in your underwear outside?"

"…"

"Okay, what?" he finally asked.

"Nothing."

"…Okay."

"You don't understand. Talking with my mother… for a whole day….which has been like that almost every day… with nothing to do..."

"Oh… Now I have sympathy for you. You know what I did?"

"What?"

"Nothing but missing you greatly," he said sweetly.

"And I missed you too, Mr. Cheese," she said while nudging his shoulder.

"Which I'm glad you decided to visit town for a few days," she added with a smile.

"It's not like I have anything else to do."

This was certainly true. He never did anything for the holidays. Unless avoiding daylight as he hid inside his house like some bear going into to hibernation was considered doing something. His friends would invite him over to stay for the holidays, but he always felt like a bother. He wasn't apart of their families and he didn't want the pity that he was usually alone. He almost decided against coming to see Sakura to leave her be with her family, but from the sounds of it when she talked with him over the phone she was going to be pretty miserable…and what would be the harm in spending time with each other? Besides having to avoid her mother like Sakura wished to do for now… which made him feel a little uncomfortable… but if he thought of it like a game it didn't seem so bad... He realized what a terrible thought that was.

His eyes glanced around familiar buildings as they drove closer to their destination. Their hometown was nothing like Tokyo in a lot of ways. There were open spaces, fields and trees as far as the eye could see in the distance; however, it had its fair share of suburbs and decent sized businesses spread throughout. It was nice here and rather relaxing. There wasn't the constant rush of traffic and people everywhere. He probably missed that the most though he enjoyed the change of scenery from moving.

Shortly he pulled into an open parking space which the lot itself was already filled with a fair amount of parked cars. There was always a Lights Festival every year during the week of Christmas. It seemed to get bigger and more popular each year. The entire central park and surrounding areas close by would be completely decorated in white lights. There were a few carnival rides they would set up as well as plenty of local vendor shops ranging from food to various knick knacks which were mostly lined up along the closed main street. Usually he would check it out each year when he lived here. You'd never know what interesting things you might find.

Kakashi readjusted his scarf in lieu of a mask before exiting and locking the car. He made damn sure he had his keys this time. He patted them in his pocket just to be extra sure. He walked to the front of the car and held out a fingerless gloved hand for Sakura to join his. She took it and held it firmly while giving him a small tug pulling him up to the sidewalk. Sakura adjusted her knit cap as they walked to avoid the sparse flurries of snow falling into her eyes.

As they entered the park they passed under one of the metal gated archways which were wrapped in white lights. Kakashi pulled her back from going any further.

"Can't waste opportunities," he said.

Sakura stared at him with a puzzled look before noticing there was several mistletoes tide up on the very top of the archway.

"Oh," she replied hiding a blush.

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her briefly dipping his scarf barely enough to do so before pulling it up again. She smiled bashfully before pulling his hand into walking along the sidewalk once more.

"Hum, what to do first..." she began to say to herself as her eyes searched the distance. There were so many attractions she wasn't sure where to even begin.

"Just so you know… I don't do rides," Kakashi spoke up.

"Awe... come on," she replied with a pout.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I just don't."

"Because you're scared?"

"No..." he lied. He wasn't sure what it was about them, but carnival rides just seemed… like a death trap waiting to happen. Always creaky…and rusty…and the smell of vomit was probably somewhere plastered in the seats. That couldn't be even remotely fun.

"Then why…?"

"…"

"Just come on at least one ride with me. Please?" she asked while snuggling his arm.

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty, pretty, pretty please?" she tried to look up at him with sad green eyes but he was keeping a stoic face looking forward.

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"No."

"Pretty please with whipped cream and a cherry on top?"

"No."

"Pretty please with chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and a cherry on top?"

"No."

"Pretty please with nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and a cherry on top?"

"No," Kakashi replied with a hidden smile.

"..."

Sakura sighed defeated.

"…Unless the nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and cherry on top is all over you…and nothing else," he said probably a little too happily imagining that.

"…"

_-smack-_

She gave him a good hit to the side of his bicep.

"What? If you do that then I'll be more than happy to go on a ride with you. I'll ride you all day long."

_-smack-_

"I mean ride on top of you."

_-smack-_

"I mean ride _with_ you…"

"…I hate you," she muttered.

"I thought we had gotten past that finally. Don't you love me yet?"

"Nope," she replied with a frown.

"And if I go on one ride with you…of my choice… will you stop hating me?"

Her eyes looked up hopefully, "Yes."

"Fine then…"

"Yay!" she exclaimed with a slight hop. She began to tug him faster down the sidewalk sidestepping around other couples and families.

"Ugh…"

Kakashi tried to think of ways he could take it back. She seemed a bit too happy about it though. He sighed. It was pretty unlikely anything would happen… he just needed to bite the bullet and get over his unfounded fear about carnival rides. He was going to make sure he picked the slowest…most safest looking one though.

"What about that one?" she asked while pointing.

The ride looked like a ship that would swing back and forth until ultimately flipping over.

"Hell no," he spat.

"What about…that one?" she asked while pointing at one that seemed to spin in circles while victims…er….people were strapped inside.

"Hell to the no."

Sakura made a sad face as they continued to walk hand in hand. She pouted at his responses as he was saying no to basically everything. Her thoughts faded away looking at all the various stands they were passing by. As the fog of her breath would rise into the night sky, she admired how beautiful the stars looked for a moment before squeezing into Kakashi's arm more tightly. She felt so happy to be here with him.

"SAKURAAAAAAAAAAA-CHANNNNNN!"

"God, why?" Kakashi muttered his under his breath already knowing that ear pinching voice. He felt Sakura being tugged away from his arm. He sighed and turned around to see Naruto spinning Sakura in dizzying circles.

"Hello, Naruto," she said blinking back the white lights that was spinning around in her head when he finally stopped.

"I can't believe you're here! How awesome! Hey Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto said a bit too loudly.

"Hello…Naruto."

Naruto seemed to always find them no matter what they did. Even in Tokyo. He tried his best to avoid Naruto's idea of joining him and Sakura for lunch once a week, but no matter where he went Naruto would always find him or Sakura and drag himself along. He wasn't a bad kid. Just annoying. Most of the time.

A girl trotted up behind Naruto as she panted like she must had been running. She pulled back her fallen long hair before smiling unsurely at them while looking at the ground.

"N-Naruto-kun…"

"Oh! Hey, this is Hyuga Hinata," Naruto spoke giving her a pat on the shoulder making her blush.

"H-hello… I remember you…b-both from school…um…Sakura-chan and….um…Kakashi-s-sensei…" Hinata stuttered as she bowed briefly.

"They're together!" Naruto said pointing at them both back and forth with one hand rather rudely like they were spectacles. Hinata only managed to blush adverting her eyes in response managing an, "O-oh."

"Hello, yes I remember you from my old class," Kakashi said politely.

"We were in a lot of classes together. How are you, Hinata? Do you still live here in town?" Sakura asked with a warm smile.

"Oh, I've been taking classes here at the community college, but I was thinking of transferring to T-Tokyo."

"I keep telling her how great it is. She's afraid of moving," Naruto piped up.

"It's actually quite nice. I'd recommend it… and you know… you could see Naruto probably everyday again," Sakura said.

Hinata blushed and said, "I-I wouldn't want to bother him or anything…"

"Aren't you two…together?"

Her blush deepened probably two shades of red and began to tap her two index fingers together while staring at the ground, "N-n-no… just…we just here as friends…"

"Ah…I see."

Sakura knew how much of a gigantic crush she had on Naruto for as long as she can remember. He had to have known by now…right? Sakura stared at his goofy grin. He was probably too much of an idiot to realize it. She should probably just outright tell him and save Hinata some agonizing trouble. She wondered how they even managed to come to the park together.

"We were heading to the ferris wheel. You guys want to come?" Naruto asked.

Sakura looked up at Kakashi hopefully. He sighed inwardly. That was probably the slowest, safest ride here. He didn't want to go with Naruto though… he felt a nudge in his chest from Sakura as he was taking too long to answer.

"Um…sure… Why not?"

Sakura clapped happily. Finally. They were going to least go on something together. She didn't mind Naruto and Hinata coming, but first she needed to put things in motion for Hinata. As they all began to walk towards the large ferris wheel that was by the river not too far away, Sakura pulled Naruto aside.

She whispered in his ear, "You know Hinata likes you, right?"

"W-what?" he blurted with a blush.

Sakura sighed. God he was stupid. She glanced at Kakashi as he had already pulled out an Icha Icha book to distract himself. She let go of Naruto and walked to Hinata who was trailing behind everyone staring at the ground awkwardly.

"Hey, Hinata-chan… You should go walk next to Naruto…"

"O-oh…um…."

"Trust me."

Sakura began to push her towards Naruto until she was finally side by side with him. They both were blushing. It was so adorable to Sakura. She smiled at her quick handy work before settling beside Kakashi as he flipped a page.

"Interesting," he said.

"I know… They are so clueless…"

Kakashi pointed to a page in his book. "In this page here it talks about how this character named Sayo offers herself as dessert to her lover covering herself with nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and a cherry on top with nothing else on. Are you sure you don't read Icha Icha?"

"You're a damn liar. It doesn't say that," Sakura said with another light smack to his arm.

"It does."

"No… Not possible."

"It does. You don't need to hide that you read it from me. I find it really kinky…"

"I don't read your smut!" Sakura yelled getting a few stares from not only the people around them but a glance from Naruto and Hinata.

"I would never lie to you. It says it right here," he replied while tapping a page. He hovered it front of her.

"I don't want to look, shoo," she said while flying a hand to push the book out of her sight.

"Because you know I'm right?"

"No, I don't believe you."

"Then look."

"No."

"Look."

"No…"

"If I'm wrong I'll go on any other ride with you tonight no matter which one you choose, but if I'm right and not lying to you I fully expect you to reenact this whole page just for me."

"…"

He couldn't be serious and there was no damn way it could have possibly listed out _exactly_ what she said earlier. She glanced at his happy grinning eyes. He was bluffing and he was going to pay for it. She'll make him ride every damn thing here with her.

"Give it to me," she said with an outstretched hand.

Kakashi happily did so making sure to point exactly where she needed to read. She sighed as she glanced between the book and what was in front of her making sure she didn't hit anyone as she read. She had no idea how he could walk and read so easily.

' _He stood in the doorway letting his eyes readjust to the dim candlelit room. The house seemed so quiet except for the creek of the floorboards with each step he took. Deep red petals were scattered into a trail which led into the dining room. What was going on? His wife was still away. Did she come back early? He followed the trail slowly until he reached a brightly lit dinner table. In the center was his mistress… the very same one who had stolen his heart merely by the look of her brown eyes. She looked up at him sweetly from the table arching her back. She was completely nude. Except that she was covered with nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and a single cherry on top…right on top of each of her breasts and clean shaven…'_

"OH MY GOD!" Sakura yelled hysterically while she slammed his book into the snowy ground as if it had burned her hand. More stares glanced their way. Naruto actually looked worried for a moment before turning around figuring he should stay out of it.

"Hey! That's a special edition one," Kakashi said as he picked it up and wiped it off like it was a precious piece of gold. He tried to frown but the panic in Sakura's eyes was so damn hilarious.

"So… what night did you want to reenact that?" he asked with a smile. He said it about as nonchalantly as if he was ordering a pizza.

Sakura folded her arms as kept looking forward with a blush. She said nothing and kept walking stomping into the ground.

"Well…?"

"…"

"I'll let you think about it for now," he said with a soft reassuring hug around her shoulders.

Sakura tried her best to ignore looking at him the whole time until they had to wait in line at the ferris wheel. Every time he tried to say something to her she should look away into the distance. He sighed. At least Naruto's constant chattering was filling in the awkward silence.

"Oh, hey guys let's have ramen after this! My favorite ramen shop called Ichiraku is here!" he said with an excited fist pump.

"S-sure Naruto-kun!" Hinata said happily.

"Sure," replied Sakura.

Kakashi simply sighed. He was so sick of ramen for the past month. It was all Naruto would ever want when he had lunch with them. Least he would never make the mistake of ever being forced to buy for him again.

Finally it was their turn. Naruto offered to let them go into the first carriage. Sakura mumbled as Kakashi pulled her along inside wanting to get it over with fast as possible. They sat pretty snugly next to each other as they were slowly going up to have the rest of the carriages filled with people before it would fully start circling.

"Sakura…" Kakashi said with a sigh that fogged into in the cold night air.

"Hum…?" she replied still not looking at him.

"You don't _really_ have to do it…You know me well enough to know that, right?"

Kakashi held an arm around her bringing her close into his chest. He hoped she really wasn't mad…

"Yes well… I don't like being wrong for one thing…and I still can't believe that was in your book. How do read that in public?"

He shrugged.

"I'm just unfazed by it I suppose. You on the other hand…"

"What about me?" she glared.

"So innocent. It's always cute."

"I…I am not."

"To some degree, but trust me. You pretty much are."

"No… I'm not."

"You don't have the faintest idea of the things I could do to you."

"…"

Sakura seemed to turn red.

"See? You're blushing."

"N-no I'm not. It's cold."

"You're blushing."

"I-I'm not."

"Right…There there. Just enjoy the scenery," Kakashi said with a pat on her shoulder while they slowly were being pulled into the very top of the ferris wheel. It actually did look quiet beautiful. The moon was full and bright as it would show itself on and off through passing clouds. It reflected off the river's streaming water below them. You could see the vast amount of speckled amber street lights mixed into several of hundreds of houses in all directions that were mostly decorated in all sorts of combinations of flickering red, green, blue and white Christmas lights.

"Oh! Quick take a picture with me before we pass the top."

"I don't do pictures."

"Please… Just for me?"

He sighed. "Fine…"

Before he could say anything else she had already brought out her phone from her purse. She tapped it a few times to get it into camera mode and pulled him closer to her before snapping a picture. She turned the phone to take a look. Kakashi looked completely crossed eyed.

"Damn it Kakashi, take a nice one."

"Fine…"

She pulled him closer again and snapped another picture one more time. She turned it and sighed. He had managed to make one eye look in one direction and the other in the complete opposite direction. He held back a laugh as he looked at it.

"I really hate you," she muttered.

"I'll take a real one. I promise. One more…"

"Ugh…"

For the third time she pulled him close before giving him a warning glare. She took one last picture and looked at it hoping it actually looked normal. Thankfully it did. She wouldn't have to throw him off this damn ferris wheel.

"Thank you…" she finally said pleased at the picture of them. She placed the phone back in her purse. She sighed. She was really annoyed at his antics so far. Although perhaps she was more embarrassed and irked about his book earlier. She really did hate to lose. Maybe also it was because they could clearly hear Naruto chattering away at Hinata about the different kinds of ramen Ichiraku had. Kind of ruining any notion of any possible romance at all…

"So Kakashi…" Sakura began to say as she watched their surroundings dip higher as the ferris wheel turned.

"Hum?"

"What kind of things would you do to me?"

"W-what?" his voice kind of cracked. He cleared his voice trying to play it off.

"Well, you said I don't have the faintest idea. So why don't you enlighten me?"

"Uh…"

He didn't expect her to say that. She knew it as she smiled to herself as he struggled what to say.

"Well? Or are you all talk, no action?"

"…"

Kakashi could not believe what he was hearing. He startled to chuckle, "You are… really asking for it, aren't you?"

"Well? What do you want to do to me?"

"Right now…well…"

He leaned over pulling his scarf down and whispered into her ear, "I want to do this…"

Licking a tongue into her ear he began to circle his tongue before softly sucking on the bottom of her ear lobe.

"Mmm, that's nice," she muttered while leaning into him.

He worked his way down her neck stopping for a moment as they circled the bottom again before rising back up to the top. He continued his teasing kisses like that until the ride had begun to let people out for the next people in line. They were almost at the top again before they would have to come down.

"And then this…"

Slipping a hand beneath the inner lining of her open coat with his cold fingers they found their way to the bottom of her bare stomach beneath her shirt. She shuddered at his icy hand at first before it quickly warmed up as he rubbed along her stomach going lower and lower into her to pants. He unbuttoned the top of her jeans.

"Kakashi…"

"You wanted to know…"

Kakashi unzipped her pants slowly as he slid his hand beneath her cotton panties. He knew didn't have much time until they were viewable by people again as they were sitting at the top now. This was perhaps more thrilling than he would have liked to admit. He entered a finger into the top her sensitive spot.

"Already wet?" he whispered.

"Mmm," was all she managed to say. Her eyes were half closed as she slid a hand against the groin of his pants. She almost couldn't bear it while he began rubbing teasingly against her in circles. Before she had time to contemplate what was happening her pants were already zipped and buttoned again.

"Kakashi…" she moaned disappointedly.

"Sorry ma'am, but your time is up. Thanks for flying Kakashi Airlines," he smirked at his joke.

Sakura seemed too out of it to even register what he had had just said. He had to admit he was a little sad how short it was as well. Their carriage had lowered into the crowd. By the time they were let out Sakura had shakily stepped down with wobbly knees. Kakashi seemed pretty pleased at himself. Not only that, but when she glanced back at him he purposely began to lick his fingers that he had touched her with. The look on her face. Priceless.

"So, you all set for some ramen?" Naruto asked coming up behind them excitedly as they were finally let out as well.

"Um… No… Actually I'm not that hungry and um… We need to go… see…do… something… So…see you both a bit later!" Sakura said quickly before pulling Kakashi without a word into the crowd.

Naruto and a blushed Hinata looked at each other for a moment before Naruto shrugged. He took Hinata's hand as they went off to find his beloved ramen.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah… have you been naughty or nice this year? That will determine what happens next chapter. _-wink wink- -nudge nudge-_
> 
> Also, credit to the pretty please part is totally snagged from one of the Monkey Island games. I love that series. So funny.


	22. Embracing Love

**Chapter 22: Embracing Love**

Sakura continued her pull of a very amused Kakashi behind her as they headed farther and farther away from the crowds. She had no idea where she was going but that fact didn't stop her from _looking_ like she knew where she was going. Trying not to lose her confidence she finally came to a normal walking speed once they were near the entrance of the decorated white lit park.

"So… where are we headed?" Kakashi asked with a hidden grin.

"I have no idea. It's looking like this way," she replied honestly.

"And…what exactly were you planning on doing once we get to wherever that way is?"

She hadn't really given it that much thought of what…well _a_ _few things_ did cross her mind, but all she knew right now is that she was in desperate need to be touched.

"Um…well…things," she replied lamely.

"What kind of things?"

"…"

Kakashi chuckled from her silence making her feel slightly embarrassed. Talking about _those_ kinds of details simply made her feel awkwardly shy. Sometimes she felt like she was trying to play like she was a grown up in their relationship rather than be one when it came to being intimate. She did try her best to take things a step further but usually Kakashi would lead in how far they actually would go. He always seemed like he was afraid to go too far sometimes. His little stunt on the ferris wheel was certainly something new. Maybe it was just that she had to prove to him that she was ready for the next level?

At that thought she suddenly stopped in mid-step making him run into her back. Releasing his hand for a moment she quickly turned around on the heel of her boot and pulled him by the jacket off the path of the sidewalk.

"S-Sakura," he laughed at her surprising actions. She placed two hands firmly on his chest then pushed him abruptly against a tree. He grinned for a moment wondering what she would do next.

" _This_ kind of thing," she said with a new founded confidence as she tugged on his scarf crashing her lips into his.

He responded back to her forceful kisses pulling in her body closer to his. If he wasn't already turned on from earlier, this was perhaps even more exciting by her eagerness. He kissed down her cold flushed cheek slowly pulling down her scarf to nip at her warm neck. The fallen flurries that swirled around them began to fall heavily making a light patter sound as it fell into the twisted tree branches above them. Kakashi's hair began to dampen as snow would catch into his silvery strands. Sakura didn't seem to mind as she combed her fingers into his hair. She inhaled a sharp breath feeling his fingertips run along her back as cold air slipped in beneath her shirt almost making her shudder.

Kakashi kissed farther past her neck parting back her jacket slightly to continue down over her chest. Playfully he bit at her hidden nipple through her sweater and with one hand tucked beneath her shirt began to tease her other hardened nipple slipping her bra back with his thumb. Sakura grunted at the feeling before weaving her fingers into the belt loops of his pants. She pulled his hips closer into hers enjoying the pressure between them. Kakashi's lips found hers again exploring the passionate circles of her tongue mingling with his.

Easily he unbuttoned the top of her jeans and slid a hand slowly pulling back the teeth of her zipper to touch right above her warm spot over her panties. An approving soft moan erupted from her throat feeling his fingers rub gently back and forth. Wanting to feel him with her own hands she slowly unzipped his jeans revealing a very tight bundle very much needing some attention. She fumbled with his top button having to use two hands to accomplish the task before stroking her fingers along his length inside the opening of his boxers. She slowly began to match his pace.

"K-kakashi," she whispered as her breath hitched feeling him fully immerse his fingers into the wet sliver of her desire beneath her panties. His slow pacing in strokes was almost maddening to her. She picked up the speed of her hand around him hoping he would go faster.

"A-ah," she groaned feeling his middle finger penetrating past her barrier. He began softly pumping his hand slipping in and out effortlessly. He continued for a moment before adding another finger as he went along stroking keeping pressure at the top of her bundled nerves with the bottom palm of his hand.

Sakura's breaths staggered as his pace turned to quick and deep strokes making her knees slowly begin to buckle beneath her. Momentarily she had forgotten to keep trying to match his pace with her own hands as she leaned against his chest for support of the overwhelming feeling about to tip over her. Sakura felt sweat beginning to bead down her back as she could hear people walking by on the sidewalk just a few feet away on the other side of the tree.

"Mmfph," she whimpered loudly with her eyes clutched tightly shut at the beginnings of her much needed release. Unable to stand any longer she held into his jacket desperately with both hands.

"Shh…" he whispered though he very much enjoyed her moans. Last thing he wanted was to call any attention to them from any of the random strangers passing by. He pulled her body slightly more turned into the tree before another desperate moan broke through the chilled air. She muffled herself in his jacket as a wonderful relief wash over her. Catching her breath she remembered his need again slipping a hand between them to find him once more. A thought that had been sitting in the back of her mind made her heart begin to flutter faster.

"Ka…Kakashi…I…I…" she began to say afraid to finish her sentence.

"Baby, tell me," he grunted at her warm hand fully stroking him.

"I…I want you…"

His half closed eyes opened to see a blush on her face staring back at him looking completely embarrassed. Did she really mean what he thought she meant…?

"P-Please…Kakashi. I…I want to…"

She didn't want to finish her stammered sentence. It was hard enough just trying to utter out those small words trying to express… that she felt she was ready to take on the next step in their relationship. Her heart was beating even more fiercely than it had just moments ago. She felt more blood rush to her face as he stopped her hands and pulled her by the waist into his chest.

"We… we can't," Kakashi finally said as he leaned against the tree with his back.

"Why not…?"

"Several reasons…"

"You don't want me…then?" she asked with an obvious hurt in the back of her voice.

"No, I very much do. More than you know."

She felt a little better at that statement. Pulling her arms around him she held him tighter and asked, "Then…why not?"

"This isn't the ideal place for your first time…and I don't have protection with me…"

"…And I just don't know if you're really ready…" he added trying to catch his breath.

"I am… I've been thinking about it a lot… and I'd rather be with nobody else but you. So, I don't see why we can't. I want to…We could make…um… Christmas Eve special…"

Silence fell between them for a moment. All that could be heard were the faded icy steps crunching into the snow in the distance. Sakura buried her face into his chest wondering why this was so hard to talk about. She was certain. She was very sure. She loved him... and wanted to express it in the most intimate way possible.

"If you're really sure…" he said slowly rather hesitantly.

"I am."

Kakashi felt a mix of relief and happiness hearing the stern affirmation in her voice. He was more than glad, but still felt unsure if it was really the right thing or not. Much like every bit of their relationship has been. He had always been afraid he was wrong. Yet each time she seemed to prove to him otherwise and they were both happier for it. He did decide some time ago to go with his heart…and his heart very much wanted her. Feeling his sweat turn cold he began to readjust himself back in his pants.

"I… didn't get a chance…" Sakura said a little embarrassed.

"This cold isn't the most ideal for me… and there's always later…"

"O-okay," she replied while involuntarily shuddering from a breeze. He pulled at her hips and refastened her pants. Then he pulled her crooked jacket on straight almost laughing at how disheveled she looked right now. She returned his smile and fixed him briefly as well patting away some snow here and there.

"Well… let's head out before we start freezing to completely to death."

"To where?"

"My hotel," he replied.

Sakura stiffened a bit. Kakashi dusted off some snow from her shoulders before checking one last time if they looked presentable enough. He took her hand and led them down the sidewalk towards where he had parked. It wasn't too far away. Sakura was starting to feel her stomach knotting up with each step. She was ready, wasn't she? She was just a minute ago. It really isn't that big of a deal… Half of her friends had done it before... Though most of them didn't have favorable first time experiences, but most of their first times happened with high school boys. It's not like they knew what they were doing. Of course who does at that age? It was all the more reason for her to wait besides the fact she had never truly fallen for anyone before now.

Ino had shared with her perhaps a little too much detail about what to expect. Part of Sakura was mostly curious and excited but as she shakily entered in the passenger's side of the car was mostly feeling nervous. It was kind of amazing how fast her confidence would just disappear in an instant. She quickly sighed watching her breath rise in the chilly air trying to relieve her nerves before Kakashi entered the driver's side. After he started the car he noticed the uneasy look on her face. He was worried for a moment before deciding she was probably nervous.

Trying to lighten her mood he said, "You look like you're about to take a test."

"Oh god… that makes me feel worse if you say it like that."

"…"

Kakashi sighed before leaning over the seat to cup her blushed cheeks in his hands. He kissed her lips softly and then said, "Sakura, don't be nervous. Trust me."

"I do, but I can't help my nerves."

He thought for a moment. "Does…this help?"

He made a funny face which looked something close to a monkey. It raised a smile at the edge of her lips.

"Humm… Yes. A little bit."

"And this?" he asked with a smile and kissed her softly once more.

"A little bit."

"What about… this?"

Kakashi leaned in almost looking like he was going to kiss her once more before quickly moving his hands to tickle her sides.

"Kakashi!" she laughed slapping his hands back with a fake pout.

"Feel better?"

"Yes," she replied unable to hold back a smile.

"Good so…"

He shifted the car into reverse and backed out from the parking spot. Then shifting it once more he pulled it into the line of cars that were waiting for their turn to exit into the main street.

"Shall we pick up some… nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and cherries?"

"…"

_-smack-_

Rubbing his bicep he said, "You'll change your mind later…I promise you."

_-smack-_

Kakashi huffed which prompted Sakura to laugh. He smiled, glad that she was feeling better now. A comfortable silence fell between them as he drove for about fifteen minutes towards the hotel he was staying at. He really hadn't planned on things developing like this when he came, but was glad he actually decided to stay in a decent hotel this time around. He tried to think why he picked it again… and just decided he must have felt more comfortable that side of town having to use to live near the area. Pulling into the circular driveway he stopped in front of the hotel's main doors. Sakura looked at him confused for a moment as he pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. He slid out a key card and handed it to her.

"It's 308 on the third floor."

"Oh, Um…" she blushed.

"I still need to stop by a convenience store real quick… and I really want to shower from all this dirty snow in my hair so… I figure you can go on up ahead and shower too real quickly if you want."

"Oh! Sure. That sounds really good actually. See you in a bit then. Don't get lost…or lock your keys inside again…"

"I _might_ just get lost finding myself at a grocery store buying those nuts, chocolate sprin–"

_-smack-_

"So violent."

"Love taps."

"Pff… taps… more like bone crunching hits."

He held her wrists to prevent most likely a real bone crunching hit and kissed her lips making her melt into him. Satisfied for now she exited the car and waved a short goodbye before slowly making her way inside the lobby of the hotel. She fiddled with card in her hands starting to feel nervous again. Glancing at the receptionist as she passed by the front she made a polite smile hoping they wouldn't ask her anything as she searched the floor for an elevator.

"Need help miss?"

Sakura inwardly sighed.

"Nope! I'm good thanks," she replied holding up the key card pretending like she actually was staying here.

Thankfully nothing more was said as she darted towards the elevator area. The place actually sounded very quiet except for the metal creak of the elevator that dropped down to her level on the first floor. Most people were probably spending their time home with families. Sakura felt a little guilty not being home on Christmas Eve… which was the first time ever… but she had been here for weeks now helping with her mother with plenty of things for the family that were coming over tomorrow. She sighed not looking forward to it. Instead of worrying of that she decided she'll enjoy every bit of time she had with Kakashi tonight and forget about it until she had to leave later. Glancing at the clock on her phone she'd least probably need to get back in four hours. It was still a long time still. The elevator dinged at its arrival to the floor. Sakura walked along the ornate plush green rug that lined the hallways and searched for his room. Once she had found it she slipped the card inside the slot and opened the door. After finding the light switch her eyes adjusted. It was a decent looking western styled room. It wasn't too big but not too small either.

Closing the door behind her she placed the key on a desk and took off her jacket. She felt a little excited now but nervousness was creeping up on her again. Deciding it probably would only be ten minutes or so until he was coming up she pulled off her sweater and undid her boots. Jumping up and down she quickly pulled off her jeans and placed her clothes in one of the leather chairs that was seated in a corner. Turning on the shower she slipped off her underwear wondering if she should be wearing anything at all when he came back or… her nerves started to eat away at her again as she clicked the bathroom door shut.

* * *

Kakashi was pretty sure that some kind of all knowing power watching from the heavens really hated him. Everything was fine after he had left the store. Then he heard an all too familiar voice slur his name in a shout, "Kkkkaaaaakassssshiiiiiii!"

He was walking back to his car only to run into Genma of all people. A very drunk Genma who was held up by an equally drunk Guy. Tenzo held them both up with an annoyed look on his face.

"Yo," Kakashi replied.

"What are you doing in town?" asked Tenzo blinking back the surprised look on his face.

"Visiting for a few days."

"You should have called me up to come out with us. A lot of the guys are still at the bar actually if you want to visit. I was just bringing these two home early though… Guy seems to make Genma his contest partner since you aren't around. They both end up like drunken idiots really fast."

"Maybe another night."

"Youu width ur gurfiend?" Genma mumbled.

"Mmhum."

"Haruno Sakura..?" Tenzo asked.

Kakashi looked surprised at him for a moment. "How'd you know that?"

"Genma likes to talk when he's drunk…"

"That's… great."

Now the rumor mill would probably be in full effect in the next few days in town. Then her mother will defiantly find out no matter what. That was going to be fun. His eyes turned to glare Genma who was beginning to nod off. Guy was actually starting to snore.

"Yeah… Though a lot of people thought he was joking at first…"

"Well, whatever. I can't say I care what people think. So let's just drop it there."

"Oh, sure..."

"Let go of Guy for second. I want to see if he still does it."

"Do what?"

"You'll see…"

Tenzo released Guy's shoulder briefly finding him standing on his own, but swaying side to side slightly. Kakashi pulled off one of his gloves and threw it Guy which was immediately caught in his hand without even opening his eyes.

"You know two years ago he did the same thing except we made a game of how many things he would hold on to at once."

"How far did you get?"

"Twenty two, but there were some big things like a lamp he was holding," Kakashi replied as he quickly tugged back his glove from Guy's grip.

"Ha, where was I?" Tenzo asked with a laugh.

"I think you were out of town that weekend. Oh, so are you driving them home?"

"Yeah."

"I can take Genma home. It's on my way."

"Oh… where are you staying?"

"Don't worry about it," Kakashi said with an all too familiar eye crinkle of a smile.

"I'll take your word for it…" Tenzo replied skeptically. He motioned for Kakashi to take Genma.

Kakashi held him up and waved goodbye to Tenzo using Genma's limp hand. He watched him drive away with Guy and disappear around the corner block. Patting his bestest friend ever in the world on the shoulder he gauged how drunk Genma really was. His eyes were glossy with a reddening face and obviously he wasn't all that alert anymore. Now was the time for some quick sweet sweet revenge. What to do…? He couldn't keep Sakura waiting. He certainly didn't want to wait any longer either. Pulling out is phone he decided the best thing he could do for now was to make him pay. Literally.

"Hello… Yes I'd like a cab pick up on um…" Kakashi squinted his eyes at the street sign before giving their location. They said it would only take a couple minutes since someone was already in the area. Still with a leaning Genma on his shoulder he pulled out Genma's wallet from his back pocket and shuffled through his cash. He didn't have very much, but that wasn't going to be a problem. Genma's head suddenly shot up.

"Kaaaaasssssshiiiiiiiii…."

"Yes…Genma?"

"I wuvu bro."

"…That's nice."

His head fell back down again. Kakashi sighed in relief seeing the cab come down the street. He did a wave and slowly placed Genma inside.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

"I won't be coming, but just drop him off at the bus station in Matsue."

"That's five hours away…"

"It's no problem."

Kakashi handed him a card and said, "Just put it on that."

"Alright."

The driver swiped it at the reader and handed it back to Kakashi. He stuffed it back inside Genma's wallet and placed it inside Genma's jacket pocket.

"Farewell, good good friend of mine," he said with a smile. The only response was some incoherent mumbling before he fell back asleep. After closing the door Kakashi walked to his car wondering how long it would take his dear friend to realize he was in some random town. Then the moment Genma would see his bank statement. What Kakashi wouldn't give to see that.

* * *

Sakura finished drying her hair and ran her fingers through it sorting out her pink strands in the bathroom mirror. She kept fidgeting with it before deciding after the fiftieth time parting her hair in a different way it wasn't going to look anymore different than usual. Her eyes glanced to what she was wearing which for now was only a cotton terry robe. Should she put back on her regular clothes? Should she put on her underwear? It was just going to come off anyway wasn't it…? She paled at that thought. At a loss of what to do she remained in the robe for now and began to pace back and forth in the main room. The sound of a door shutting from outside in the hallway made her jump making her heart hammer inside her chest.

She sighed.

This was crazy. These stupid nerves. They were going to make her insane. She inhaled a deep breath.

"Chill out," she muttered to herself.

Figuring it would be best to occupy herself with something she began to explore the room a bit. It had all the amenities any usual hotel would. A little closet for clothes, a couple of dresser drawers, TV, coffee pot maker, ironing board and a few furniture pieces here and there. Pulling out one of the drawers there sat two Icha Icha books. She wondered if there was ever a day he didn't have one in his back pocket. She smiled at seeing the book she gave him and picked it up closing the drawer. Shifting through the pages she unfortunately remembered the part she read earlier in that other horrible book. She really had no idea how he read these all the time or why. How ridiculous did the sex scenes in these books get anyway? She didn't care to know…or so she told herself but she began flipping through the pages trying to find a scene. This particular one she was reading… her cheeks flushed at the imagery. Was a position like that even possible in a cramped compartment…? Her cheeks further burned. She wondered to herself what it would be like doing something like that in an airplane. As she kept reading she could feel herself becoming... rather aroused. She wasn't sure if she hated herself or not for it. Did that mean she liked it or that she was she becoming a pervert like Kakashi? She refused to admit either one as she kept reading. She was about to flip to the beginning of the book before she heard the door unlock. Sakura jumped on the bed sitting on the book just a second before he entered. She smiled up at him blushing hoping she didn't look like she was hiding anything.

Kakashi eyed her for a moment before dropping his stuff on the counter.

"Hum… you feeling alright?" he asked pulling off a glove and touching the top of her forehead. She looked so red.

"Mm…yep!" Sakura replied perhaps a little too happily.

"I see…"

He pulled off his scarf revealing his face. Dropping it to the floor he leaned towards her slowly pushing her back against the bed. Her heart pumped wondering if they were already starting so soon. Wasn't he going to take a shower first? He smiled and kissed her lips and tracing his hands down her sides until he reached her butt.

His fingers dipped further around her rump before quickly saying, "Ah ha!" while he pulled out the book she was sitting on.

"See, I knew you had to have been reading them. Look, I'll let you borrow it. You don't have to hide it."

"I-I'm not!"

"How did it get under your butt exactly?"

"I sat on it," she replied dully.

"Yes, but I didn't put it there. It was over there," he said while pointing to the drawer.

"I was…."

"Was…?"

"Tidying your drawers…"

"…"

Kakashi laughed and gave her a kiss before placing the book on the top of her face as he got up.

"You should read page 243."

Sakura mumbled something inaudible beneath the book. She heard a chuckle followed by the sound of the bathroom door closing. As the pipes churned within the walls for a moment from the shower turning on she slid the book from her face. She sighed and turned to page 243. Her prediction was it would probably be the dirtiest thing in this entire book.

' _The first day he met her he was captured by her smile. The second day it was the way her eyes could sparkle no matter how dim the light. No matter how cold the sky was. The third day was the moment he knew when she finally broke her paralyzed lips to speak He had never met anyone with as much compassion and hope as she did. Even through the people around her made every effort to smash its existence. Her existence. She still had dreams. She still had hope. He knew he wanted to make those dreams a reality. Not because he felt obligated or out of pity. This wasn't even his world, but he had fallen in love with her. No matter the cost, it was something that he could never let go. Love was something that you shouldn't let go.'_

She couldn't believe what she was reading. This wasn't page to page smut? Thinking about it now… Had she actually ever read anything besides the sex scenes? Her bottom lip curled. Now she almost felt bad calling him a pervert most of the time. Reading a bit more it was actually rather beautiful… this man's love for this woman. She was a prisoner who was abducted from her family years ago. Now she _really_ wanted to read it.

When Kakashi emerged from the bathroom only wearing boxers he shook a towel into his hair. Noticing her pout he laid the towel on a chair and sat next to her.

"Did you read it?" he asked with a smile.

"I was surprised…"

"It's not all porn. There's actually quite a bit about simply finding love. You asked why I love the books so much… I suppose since I've never found love myself… It's nice to read about it."

"Why haven't you…?"

"I didn't think it existed. Just in books. Not life."

"You still think that way…?"

"Well thankfully… You came into my life… and it took me awhile to admit it to myself… but I do love you. Very much," he said warmly.

Sakura suddenly felt her cheeks heat. She wouldn't have ever imagined him saying that he loved her. It was something that she had always felt though, but knowing his past she was very much surprised at him for telling her. Why did he love though? She would always wonder why he chose her of all the people he _could_ have. Perhaps she would never understand his reasoning in why… but she knew she was incredibly lucky. Especially in that she felt the same way about him.

"And because I do love you… I'd want nothing more but to show you how much I do… but as I said before… We don't have to. I don't care to rush you. We can just hang out until I have to take you home. No matter what… I just enjoy being with you."

Feeling her heart racing again she bit her bottom lip. She was feeling such a blend of emotions taking in what he had said. It was easy to tell when he was sincere about something and he certainly was now. Calming her nerves she faded her gaze to her lap partly afraid to look into his eyes except for a spare moment to say, "I… love you too…It makes me really happy to finally say that to you…and…I… still want to. I'm sure. So…Um… "

Not sure what else to say or do she looked back towards her lap again and began pulling at the fibers of her robe feeling a bit of anxiety. She was pretty sure she must have looked like a red beet right now.

"Turn around," he said while doing a small circle with his index finger.

Sakura's eyes went half wide scared what exactly that meant. He frowned at her uneasiness and pulled her around himself placing his hands on her shoulders. Sitting behind her on the bed now he began to massage her shoulders.

"Your back is so tense it's like a tennis racket," he muttered.

Sakura hit his side behind her blindly with a hand and replied, "I am not…"

"Okay… like a coffee table…"

He dodged her next hit still massaging her shoulders.

"You know you can trust me... Don't be nervous."

"I do trust you…"

"Then you have no reason to worry."

"I just…well…"

"Tell me."

"Well… I don't know what to do… Or what if I'm terrible…Or… I don't know…I feel stupid."

"You're worrying way too much. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Relax."

Sakura did just that starting to feel slightly better. She truly hated her stupid nerves. Never had she ever gotten like this about anything before. Feeling her shoulders finally feeling more at ease she actually could finally enjoy his massage. His circular motions along her back were deeply molding her firm skin through the robe. Slowly he replaced each knot of worry carefully into pockets of relief.

After a few minutes she was completely feeling like putty in his hands. She felt a string of sweet kisses go along the top of her spine. Pulling her back into his chest he wrapped his arms around her stomach kissing down slowly the nape of her neck.

"Feel relaxed now?" he whispered.

"Yes, thank you," she smiled into his cheek before realizing he was wearing that amazing aftershave she loved so much.

Turning herself around in his arms she pushed him back into the bed and crawled over his chest to inhale the spicy scent against his jaw. Kissing his smooth cheeks she licked the bottom of his chin towards the top of his ear.

"You don't love me. You just love my aftershave," he said sounding half depressed about it, but was smiling.

"Maybe."

She licked her tongue across his neck before lapping his skin into hungry playful kisses. She explored down further with her mouth into massaging circles on top of is broad chest. She moved her legs over his hips to straddle him forgetting for a moment she wasn't wearing anything beneath the robe until she felt a very familiar pressure between her legs.

"Are you not wearing anything under there…?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She replied simply once more with a shy smile, "Maybe."

He pulled her down towards him again by the collar of her robe and kissed her making sure to explore every bit of her tongue with his. Slowly he untied the belt of the robe letting it fall open revealing her exposed breasts. He pulled her hips forward to capture a nipple into his mouth and began sucking it generously. She fought back a moan as he sucked hard enough to create a pop from his mouth to switch to her other nipple. Squeezing the other with a free hand he licked around her breast then circling the pink bud around and around with his rough tongue.

His hands slowly edged up to her shoulders pulling back the cotton robe completely letting it drop behind her. Removing it to the floor he pulled her close switching their positions. Trailing hot kisses from her throat to her stomach he went lower and lower exploring her inner thighs with his tongue. She squirmed slightly from feeling ticklish at first before her breath turned sharp feeling a warm tongue slide along the outside of her most intimate folds between her legs.

"K-Kakashi," Sakura stuttered feeling a mix of embarrassment and arousal. She squeezed his shoulders with her knees before having them fall wider from the intense feeling created by his slow deep licks and sucks then trailing his tongue down to her opening. Twisting her fingers into his hair she grunted feeling him enter her with his tongue. He repeated the movement several times before flattening his tongue to stiffly licking upwards towards her bud.

Sakura's moans turned into whimpers as he repeatedly sucked at her spot while flicking his tongue back and forth driving her almost insane. She couldn't help but buck her hips subconsciously trying steady her staggered breaths.

"A-ah, Ka..Kashi," she yelped while gritting her teeth as a release took over her. The intensity was milked out from his continued sucks at her core.

Finally coming back down from her high she squeezed her legs together still feeling the remains of her orgasm as he sat up for moment wiping the edge of his mouth. He pulled her legs apart again and kissed base of her stomach extending a tongue slowly from her belly button making a wet trail up and over her nipples.

Kissing him when he found her lips she licked the strange taste from his mouth and ran her hands down his sculpted abdomen. She glided her hands beneath the band of his boxers to feel his firm butt into the palms of her hands. He swirled his tongue around her neck before feeling the tug of his boxers completely slide down with hesitant hands. She gripped along his backside pulling him closer to feel his arousal pressed against her.

"One last time… Are you sure?" he whispered.

"Yes," she whispered back.

He kissed her before leaving the bed momentary to pull out a small plastic package from where he had placed his stuff earlier. Sakura watched for a moment looking at him upside down before feeling her nerves flare up again as he opened it revealing a condom. Looking away towards the ceiling she took in a deep silent inhale trying to calm herself as she heard a crumple of paper fall into the far end of the counter. After a moment his face broke her gaze of the ceiling. He leaned over to cup her blushed cheeks to sweetly kiss her soft lips. Kneeling into the bed beside her he climbed over her and pressed his chest against hers. He began to kiss her once more trying calm her down as he could feel her heart pounding against his chest.

After a few moments he explored her with wandering hands and tenderly kissed every part her body. A moan escaped from her lips as he glided a hand between her legs to rub against her wet desire. Still sensitive from his earlier handling he inserted a finger into her entrance. He increased the amount slowly pumping his hand while stretching within her in an attempt to make it less painful as possible. Kissing against her chest and moving upwards he pulled out his fingers slowly. He slid his wet hand against her inner thigh making her heart beat faster.

He nibbled at her earlobe before interweaving his other hand into hers.

"Ready?" he asked softly.

She replied with a small single nod unable to find her voice at the moment as she gazed into his eyes. She had never seen them as different as they were now. In a way she felt like she was actually seeing his real soul that was usually hidden. She couldn't help but smile.

"I love you very much Sakura," he whispered.

"I love you too Kakashi," she whispered back before feeling him guiding himself at tip at her entrance. She held in a breath.

"Let me know if it hurts too much... Or if you want to stop."

She nodded briefly feeling him slowly fill her inside. It was more of a strange feeling rather than pain, but there was a slight burn that was beginning form the deeper he went until he completely filled her. It felt like something was tearing inside her. He slowly slid out watching her exhale the breath she had been holding in. He entered her slowly again seeing her wince. He kissed along the edge of her lips hoping to distract her for a moment.

It wasn't until he slowly entered her again did she feel completely fine. Urging him forward she moved her hips back making him slide out slowly before pushing herself into him.

"You feel so amazing," he murmured slowly building up a pace as he rocked his hips.

Closing his eyes for a moment he focused on the warm and tight feeling of her around him. There were so many things to say, but no words could possibly describe the mix of desire and love he felt for this woman before him in this very moment. He really did have no intention of ever admitting love to anyone. Even throughout his past intimate relationships. It was something he would never dare say. Not even as false words. He didn't think it was possible to even find it, but the more he thought about his feelings for Sakura the more obvious it was he was just blinding himself in the simple truth. He was scared in what it could mean admitting to not just her, but himself. The care that he would say he felt for her. It was love. There was an ungrounded fear in the back of his mind that she would disappear from his life once he admitted it. All he had ever known was what heartbreak was like. He lived it almost everyday, until she came into his life. Yet feeling her against him now so intimately... Why should he hold back what he had known all along?

Sakura wrapped her legs around his hips to further pull herself into his penetrating deep thrusts. Her nerves had been replaced with an overwhelming pleasure long ago. The slaps of flesh between thrusts were almost completely drowned out by their soft whispered moans and heavy pants. Her legs had begun to shake trying to hold her grasp around him with her legs. The sweat on their bodies was making it almost impossible to keep holding on, but it felt so amazing she didn't want to let go.

Kakashi began rubbing her core with a hand unsure how much longer he could keep himself from not instantly going off watching her bounce beneath him. It was so incredibly erotic watching her moan his name in desperation. Each of his thrusts were becoming harder and quicker. Her breaths began to shorten before digging her nails into his back from a release that echoed throughout her entire body. He felt his manhood clenched within her.

"Fuck," he whispered shutting his eyes tight from the explosion of his own release. His thrusts slowed into a jerk feeling every bit of him fully escape into the shallow tip of the condom. Pulling out he collapsed beside her trying to remember how to breathe again.

Turning his head towards her his eyes met hers. She briefly smiled before wiping a hand to the top of her sweaty brow and said, "Okay… Why haven't I done this sooner?"

"We should make up for all the wasted days then," Kakashi replied with a wink.

That prompted Sakura to laugh. "I hate to admit it but that actually sounds like a good idea."

"My little Sakura. A true pervert emerges after all."

"And now I seriously want to read your books too… This is just such a depressing day."

"Depressing? Please don't tell me sex with me is depressing."

"Exact opposite, but admitting I'm a pervert like you is depressing," she replied teasingly.

"You'll learn to enjoy my ways. I promise," he said with a grin.

Kakashi leaned over and gave her a long lasting kiss on her tender lips. Getting up he went to the bathroom briefly to clean himself. Sakura laid staring into the ceiling again almost not believing she had just done what she did. She almost felt giddy about it from how happy she was. The images of them together would probably be forever burned into her memory. Her cheeks blushed from simply thinking about it. Staring to feel cold from cool air that was circulating around the room she crawled under the newly pressed sheets. Kakashi returned back still as completely nude as she was. Somehow she didn't feel as shy about it anymore as she watched him hop under the covers with her.

He draped an arm over her stomach and kissed her once more unable to stop a goofy grin finding a way to his lips. He pulled her closer into his chest and closed his eyes feeling her steady heartbeat against him.

"Merry Christmas…I love you," she whispered still finding it strange to say it out loud.

"I love you too. More than you can imagine. Merry Christmas," he replied warmly.

They both smiled before finding themselves a bit too comfortable into each others arms. Sleep had found them both. Neither of them stirred awake until daylight peeked through the curtains the next day.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was really my first stab at making a lemon (which makes me lul compared to the rest of the story in the next few chapters). T_T


	23. Reprimand

**Chapter 23: Reprimand**

Sakura stirred beneath the sheets, feeling a warm body pressed against her back. Snuggling more into the warmth, she inhaled an all too familiar scent which made her more relaxed. She began to fall back asleep until the chirping of birds tugged her consciousness back. The rays of light grew brighter between her eyelashes as she slowly began to open them. Inhaling a sharp gasp, her eyes shot wide open as she bolted upright from the bed.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed.

Turning to her side, she watched Kakashi pull his head deeper into his pillow still in a daze of sleep. "Kakashi," she said in a panicked voice, shaking his shoulder.

"Mfph," he grumbled in response.

Sakura's eyes glanced at the clock on the nightstand beside the bed. Her heart dropped; it was almost noon. "Kakashi!" she said again, a little louder.

"Mnff." He pulled the pillow over his head.

"Get up."

"Mnfsff."

"I'm going to burn your all your Icha Icha books."

He slid the pillow off his face and struggled to open his eyes. "W-what?"

"We fell asleep."

It took a moment for Kakashi to realize what exactly she was talking about. Rubbing his eyes with a hand, he blinked a couple of times. He looked over to see a naked Sakura sitting beside him with a sheet barely covering her breasts, fondly reminding him of last night. Then a thought shot through him. He never took her back home.

Afraid to look at the clock from how bright the room was, he still slowly turned to look at the red digital numbers. "Oh, fuck," he said while pushing the sheets aside to get up.

Sakura slid out of the bed on the other side and turned her back towards him out of embarrassment. She quickly pulled on her clothes that she had neatly folded on a chair from last night. Sitting on the edge of the bed now, she watched Kakashi finish buttoning his shirt after he pulled on a pair of jeans. She started to wonder how much longer she had left to live. There was no doubt in her mind that her mother was going to kill her.

Kakashi sat next to her, smoothing out a wrinkle on her knee before settling his hand there. He could see the worry etched on her face. Squeezing her knee in a comforting way he said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for us to fall asleep last night."

"Me neither, but it's not anyone's fault; I just have no idea how I'm going to explain being gone so long," she said with a sigh.

"I could talk to her."

Sakura glanced into his eyes in surprise. "That might make things worse."

"Well, I didn't tell you last night, but I ran into some friends of mine. One in particular was blabbing about our relationship. So, it's likely she'll hear about it sooner rather than later."

"Oh, that's… great."

"That's what I thought, too."

"My family on my mother's side is probably all at the house now. Might not be a great time or place to talk about us. I'll just… figure out something in the mean time."

Sakura looked down and sighed. She felt such an impending doom. Kakashi sat up and pulled her up from the bed into his arms and said, "Whatever happens, I'm sorry. I just hope you don't… have any regrets later."

"My only regret is not being with you every day," she replied with a hidden smile into his chest.

"Me, too," he replied and hugged her tightly. It sounded so cheesy, but he truly meant it.

"I-I love you, Kakashi," she stammered, feeling a blush sweep across her face. It still felt very strange saying it out loud.

"I love you, too, Sakura."

Butterflies suddenly swirled in her stomach hearing him say those words. She was half afraid she was going to wake up from a dream at any moment, but as she held him in her arms she knew this was most certainly real.

Feeling a little better now, she inhaled a deep breath and sighed. "Okay, we better get going," she said reluctantly.

Kakashi nodded and gathered the few things he needed. They left the room, hand in hand to the elevators. In the lobby, Sakura saw the same receptionist from last night and felt awkward as the woman's eyes followed them out the door.

The closer they got to her house, the more the anxiety built up within her chest. The amount of missed calls logged on her phone could be described as ridiculous, not that she could blame her mother. She did just randomly vanish last night. Too afraid to call back, she kept her phone on silent and placed it inside her bag. She hated this feeling. She still had absolutely no idea what she was going to say. Maybe the truth was best? Her mother didn't have to meet him yet and she worried what exactly she would do if he was there in person. If she told her the truth though, it would probably make them both look bad for being out the whole night. There was no way around it though. There was no other believable explanation she could give her besides the truth.

Kakashi parked a few feet away from Sakura's house. He watched her sigh. He felt so bad. This was completely his fault, accident or not. It was simply going to make things worse for them when Sakura admitted their relationship. He couldn't care less about family approval for obvious reasons, but she actually had ties to hers, so it was more important.

"I'll call you later… if I'm still able to dial the phone," Sakura muttered.

"Please let me know what happens, okay?"

"Okay," she said with a weak smile. After one last hug and kiss, she slowly exited into the frigid cold. Her hand slid along the slick ice that had covered his car overnight, as she walked around it and up to her driveway. Turning to give one final look over her shoulder at Kakashi, she trudged on through the snow and opened the front door after unlocking it with her key.

What she saw was not what she expected. The house was quiet and dark. After closing the door behind her, she stepped through the hall. Her eyes scanned through the open rooms of the house. The only lights that were on were the multicolored bulbs of the Christmas tree in the living room. Unsure what to do, she dropped her purse on the couch and plopped down onto the cushion. What the hell was going on? She had fully expected her mother's family running crazily through the house. They would have opened the presents by now since the children could never keep their hands off of them for very long. Yet, the presents that were meant for her nieces and nephews still sat unopened under the tree. A bad feeling began to sink in stomach.

Slipping out her phone, she stared at it before deciding she would have to do what she probably should have done earlier. Selecting her mother's number from the contact list, she held in a breath as her call rang once.

"Sakura?" a voice answered.

"…Mom?" she replied, unsure at the different tone she heard in the voice. It certainly had to have been her mother, but she sounded… strangely different.

After a moment of silence, her mother replied, "Where are you?"

"Home."

Sakura heard a sigh. "I'm too upset to talk to you right now. Stay home and don't go _anywhere_."

"Okay…"

The call ended with a sound of a click. No goodbye. She had never heard her mother say something like that before, that she was too upset to talk. Her mother _always_ would give a piece of her mind, good or bad. Sakura had done plenty of things to make her mad growing up, but this certainly must have been on a whole different level. She let out a sigh and sent a text message:

' _Kakashi...'_

A moment later he replied back, _'?'_

' _Let's flee the country. -_-'_

'… _what happened?'_

' _No one's here. I called my mom and she told me to stay. She seems really angry…'_

' _I haven't left yet… want me to come in and wait with you?'_

' _No… T_T Just go buy some plane tickets. How about… France?'_

'…'

' _Spain?'_

'…'

' _America?'_

'…'

Sakura laughed; at least this was making her feel better for a small moment. Lying down on the couch, she stared into the mesmerizing lights of the tree. She was afraid of what her mother might say. Where had she been before she called her? Where was the rest of her family? Even though she had been out all night, and figured her mother would be mad about it, they still should have had Christmas. Or did her disappearance ruin it for them? Is that why no one was here?

It wouldn't be until about twenty minutes later that she would find out. Sakura bolted up from the couch as she heard the front door unlock. Her mother entered inside, giving her a glance where she sat. Placing her coat on the rack, she tossed her keys inside her purse and briskly threw it on a table in the hall. With hands on her hips, her glare was increasing making Sakura feel rather worthless…

"Do you have any idea how long I've been looking for you?" her mother spat.

Sakura flinched in surprised. She was looking for her? For how long? "No…"

"Since eight this morning."

"Oh." She darted her eyes away, feeling worse as the seconds passed by. "Where's… everyone else?"

"Their flights were delayed because of snow, so I've been here all night and morning worried sick about you. Do you have any idea how scared I was? I thought something happened to you. I heard from someone you were with some man last night at the park. Care to explain who?"

"Look, I lost track of time and I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me, but believe me when I say I didn't mean to. I was too afraid to call you when I woke up."

"Woke up _where_ with _who_?"

"Um…"

"Sakura."

"…"

"Sakura, if you don't answer me…"

"Well, I… I met someone at the university and, um, we've been together for a few months now. I was with him… okay?"

"Is that what you've been doing this whole semester while I'm helping to _pay_ for you to go to school?"

Sakura bit her lip, trying to stop herself from completely exploding in anger. "I don't see why I can't have a boyfriend _and_ go to school. I made A's in all my classes this semester. It's not hurting my studies…"

"Who is he?"

"Well, um, he was in a class of mine. His name is… Kakashi."

"Kakashi?" Her mother's brows furrowed like she was half remembering something. "How old is he?"

That was the question Sakura desperately didn't want to hear or answer. She did not want to talk about this. There really wasn't anyway to gauge what her mother might say.

"How old is he, Sakura?"

The thought of lying crossed her mind briefly, but that would only make her feel even guiltier.

Her mother's voice grew louder. "Sakura."

"Thirty-two."

Her mother stared at her in a long silence. "This isn't a good time to be joking."

"I'm not."

"…"

Her mother rubbed the side of her head as if she had just been physically hit with something. She walked toward the couch and sat next to Sakura, not looking at her eyes for a moment. "Sakura, it's one thing to completely worry the hell out of me and be gone for an entire night, but this… I can't even… Where did I go wrong as a parent?"

Sakura stared at her stunned. "I-"

"He is way too old for you, Sakura," her mother cut in.

"He's not."

"He _is_. You need to find someone more your age. It's inappropriate."

"Age doesn't matter."

"He's just using you."

"No, he isn't. You don't even know him."

"Sakura, I've seen this before. They say they love you, but they don't. He is using you for your body, that's it. When he's bored with you, he'll move on to someone else."

"It's not like that. He's one of the most admirable men I've ever met in my life. He's kind, caring, and amazing in more ways than one. He can always make me smile, and I know I can depend on him. I love him and that's all there is to it."

Her mother sighed. "Sakura… You don't know what love is."

"If you knew him, you'd understand."

"There's no way I can approve of something like this. I'm sorry."

"I don't need your approval."

"I can't stop you from seeing him, but I'll just say I'm really disappointed in your choices right now."

"Fine, whatever." Sakura sat up from the couch not feeling like she could listen to anymore. She felt angry. It didn't matter to her if her mother approved or not, but making him out to be someone trying to take advantage of her, that was just infuriating. It wasn't like that. It just seemed so stupid to her, prejudging someone whom you've never met.

"Don't stay out overnight like that again."

"Like I said, I didn't mean to, but you won't have to worry about it. I'll leave tomorrow."

"Sakura, I'm sorry I can't tell you what you want to hear, but you're making a mistake. I don't want you to make the same kind of bad choices in men like I did. "

"I don't want to discuss it anymore."

"We're far from done talking about this."

Sakura was certainly done. She went upstairs to her old bedroom and closed it shut, stopping herself from wanting to slam it in a childish way. She knew it wasn't going to be easy from the beginning, but still, it was just irritating. It could have gone a lot worse though. Worst case scenario was that she would have been completely forbidden to see him. Not that it would be possible to prevent her from doing that anyway. She was an adult after all. Her life couldn't be simply dictated like that anymore. She had the choice, no matter who may agree or disagree with it. All that mattered now was that she could still be with him. Their future together seemed promising. That's all she cared about. Still with her phone at hand, she sent another text to Kakashi:

' _I lived.'_

A moment later, her phone buzzed with a new message. _'…or maybe you're the ghost of Sakura.'_

' _Ghost of Sakura still wants to flee the country though. ^_~'_

'…'

' _I want to leave tomorrow. I don't mind staying in town, or we can go back to Tokyo. I can tell you what all my mother said then, if you want.'_

' _Sounds fine to me… I'll have a surprise waiting for you tomorrow then. ^_^'_

Sakura eyed that last text he sent carefully. The little emoticon he wrote was even more suspicious. A surprise? She grinned to herself. She really did feel lucky. Already she was feeling in a better mood. She couldn't wait to see him tomorrow. Now, she just needed to get through this day with her family.

It wasn't until the late afternoon that her mother's family finally make it to their house. They were full of smiles and holiday cheer, even after the delay at the airport. The kids were mostly grumpy though, but they perked up at the sight of presents left under the tree mostly for them. Sakura plastered a smile on her face and tried to act normal around everyone, glad that her mother didn't talk about her disappearance, or about Kakashi. She could still see the disapproval in her mother's eyes from time to time, and when they opened presents for each other it felt awkward. As she sat and watched others opening presents, Sakura remembered she had forgotten - in the rush of things - that she still hadn't given her present to Kakashi yet. It was something else she could look forward to tomorrow.

* * *

It was early morning when Sakura prepared all her bags to leave, stepping around the sleeping children in her room quietly. If she had it her way, she would have just left without saying a word, even earlier than before the sun would rise, but instead her mother insisted on seeing her off. She didn't mention that Kakashi was picking her up though. She hoped her mother would stay inside the house…

"I got it," Sakura said as she began to drag her suitcases down the stairs.

Her mother shot her hands up with a sigh, letting go of the handle. "Okay, just trying to help."

One of her mother's sisters, Jun, was up already. She stirred her coffee with a spoon as she leaned against the archway from the kitchen toward the hallway. "You're leaving already Sakura? We just came here."

"I've been here for a couple of weeks. I can't stay away from work for too long."

"Oh, I see. That's a shame."

It was a small lie. Her job at the coffee shop remained closed during the holidays since classes were out, but she really didn't want to be here any longer than she'd have to. She felt a little guilty about it. Perhaps it was a bit selfish wanting to just be with Kakashi, but it was what she wanted. Her mother wanted to talk more about them last night, which she attempted to, but it only lead to another argument of how Sakura was just making a mistake. It made her want to leave all the more. There really wasn't any more to say about it.

Sakura glanced at her phone as it buzzed once. Kakashi had texted her that he was outside.

"Okay, I'm going to go… So, Merry Christmas." She awkwardly hugged her mother before hearing her say, "Is _he_ picking you up?"

"Who's he?" asked Jun as she eyed her mother.

Ignoring both questions, she hugged Jun quickly and opened the door. She dragged out both of her suitcases, feeling annoyed again as she saw her mother's disapproving look when she shut the door behind her. She was surprised to see Kakashi halfway up the sidewalk. He greeted her with a hug and smiled warmly beneath his scarf.

"They're going to see you…" Sakura muttered as she glanced at the peeled back curtain of the window by the door.

"I'm not worried about it. Let me get that." He motioned to one of her suitcases. She let him grab one and together they packed away her stuff in the trunk of his car. Inside now, she sighed as he backed out of the drive way.

"That bad, huh?" he asked.

"I'll be honest and say it's kind of depressing. Well, she's really against us by all means. That's fine, I can take that. I just… get really irritated when she says stuff about you and she's never even met you. It's not true."

"Just do me a favor, Sakura."

Sakura raised a brow. "Anything."

"Don't completely shut her out of your life, even if she doesn't agree about me. She might change her mind later… years later, but who knows, and if she ever wants to meet with me I'll be more than willing to. Just… don't shut off your family completely. Hell, I'd be even more worried if they did agree about us anyway. So, it shows they do care about you. I've already lost a family… I don't want you to either."

"I suppose. I do get what you're saying."

"It's going to be alright. Worst part is mostly over. I love you and that's what matters."

"And I love you, too," she replied with a smile. Feeling a bit better, she glanced around now at all the buildings they were passing. She had almost forgotten. "Oh, so, where are we going exactly?"

"Secret."

"Damn it, Kakashi. You and your secrets. Tell me!"

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Please?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

Sakura tried to think over other ways of trying to get him to tell her. "I have a present for you."

"Oh?"

"Want to know what it is?"

"Nope."

Sakura groaned. "You're hopeless."

He simply smiled in response. Folding her arms, she tapped her fingers lightly against her jacket. Whatever he had planned, she was going to make sure he didn't get his present until he begged for it. She narrowed her eyes at him at that thought.

Kakashi glanced at her while trying to hold back a laugh. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh. You're probably plotting something evil."

"Maybe."

She smiled and watched the snowy scenery fly past the window for a bit. It looked like they were heading into the next town over, which was even bigger compared to her hometown. It was near a channel, so it was primarily a great place for a lot of shipping and exporting. It was about forty-five minutes until they started to approach the outside of the town. She looked intently at the sea they crossed when they went over a long bridge, which lead straight towards the center district of the town.

"Where are we going?" she asked again.

"I already told you, it's a secret."

"I'll kiss you if you tell me."

"Nope."

"What if…"

"If…?"

"If I really did that nuts and chocolate sprinkles bit from your smutty story?"

He began to slow down the car at imagining it. Clearing his throat and trying to compose himself, he replied, "Um, then yes. Yes, I'll tell you."

"Good, so tell me."

"You have to do it first."

"Curses," Sakura said with a sigh. It was worth a shot trying trick him by indulging in his fantasies.

The streets they crossed weren't familiar to her at all. The only guess she could make so far was that maybe they were going out some place nice to spend the day. Whatever it was, she wanted to find out soon before she burst with anticipation. It wasn't until they exited a ramp that dipped into a busy intersection of traffic did she start to get an idea of what he was up to. Her eyes glanced at a long fence that stretched across a good portion of land. There was a large and long building in the distance, but she couldn't make out what exactly it was yet. They pulled inside a busy stretch of road that led them closer and closer to the building. Her mouth dropped open when she realized what she was staring at.

"Kakashi…"

"Yes, _love_?" he asked sweetly.

Trying to hide a blush, she whispered, "What are we doing here?"

"I'm doing what you asked me."

"You can't be serious."

"I'm very serious."

Her heart started to jump in her chest. He wasn't serious. This was a joke. When he found a parking space inside of the multileveled garages, she still sat in her seat expecting him to say, _'Haha! Got you.'_

"Come on, Sakura."

Unbuckling her seat belt, she slowly slid from the car. She was still very convinced this was an elaborate joke – one of the cruelest jokes she could imagine.

"Kakashi," she said in a worried tone.

He grinned at her and handed her one of her suitcases to carry. He grabbed her other one and his own bag. As they walked through the main gates, they passed by crowds of people coming and going in all kinds of different directions.

"Kakashi," she whispered again.

Kakashi grinned at how freaked out she was getting. It was beyond cute as she pulled along her suitcase behind her looking lost. "Yes?"

"Where are we going?"

"Technically, Tokyo."

"And…?"

"Then Switzerland to connect to the layover flight."

"…"

"To France."

"What! Please tell me you're joking."

"I'm joking."

"Are you really?"

"Nope."

"…"

After waiting in line for a bit, they checked in their bags at the counter. He had two plane tickets ready to go. She couldn't believe it. When they were asked for their passports, she was even more surprised that he had hers with him. She had one, which she used in high school her junior year as an exchange student in America. "How did you get my passport?"

"I stole it."

"When?"

"If I tell you that, then how can I keep stealing your things?"

"Wait, what else have you stolen of mine?"

"Panties."

"…"

"I'm joking, but don't be surprised if they disappear later."

"…"

The receptionist, who had been checking them in, overheard their conversation and gave them an awkward stare while giving two officially stamped tickets back to Kakashi. Sakura did her best to hide behind the counter until they left to the section where their flight would be taking off from. It would be about an hour until they boarded.

"Why?" she asked.

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Well, you wanted to flee the country…"

She attempted to smack his arm as they walked, but he caught it with a hand and remained holding it as they walked. "I wasn't serious!"

"Oh." He stopped suddenly and began to walk back the way they came pulling her behind him adding, "I'll cancel it then."

She pulled his hand back. "Kakashi!"

"Yes?"

"We… can still go of course."

"Oh, okay," he said teasingly. He turned around again, still tugging at her hand.

"But I… don't understand why you're doing this."

"Well, I think it would be nice just to get out for a bit, leave worries behind, and have a little fun before next semester starts. I can't think of a better way of starting a new year than with you in some foreign country," he said with a smile.

"This is… beyond too generous," she gushed.

"Nonsense."

"How much is this all costing?"

"Trust me when I say you don't need to worry about it."

"Well…"

"Just enjoy it, alright?"

"Okay," she replied with an unsure smile.

"We'll only be gone for a week. Then you're still moving in with me, right?"

"Yep, unless you really do start stealing my panties…"

"…"

He made a mental note to hide the ones at his house when he got home. Once they were in the waiting area, they sat side by side. A couple of people would glance their way occasionally, making Sakura feel a little uncomfortable at first before she could ignore it. She did forget sometimes that he was a kind of recognizable person. She wondered exactly how many people knew him simply because of what happened to him growing up.

Kakashi shuffled through his pockets before pulling out an Icha Icha book, but instead of reading it, he handed it to her, prompting her to blush as he waved it front of her. She held the book down glancing at people around them.

"W-what are you doing?" she asked as she stared warily at it.

"I bought you your first Icha Icha earlier this morning."

" _What?_ "

"We both confirmed you like it. So just read one."

"…I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"I don't… want to read porn in public."

"You don't need to worry."

"Why?"

He pulled out another book from his pocket. "I'll read with you so you don't feel lonely."

"…"

Sakura grumbled before snatching it from his hands. She pulled her knees up to her chest on the chair and placed the book behind it to hide the cover as she began to read it. He smiled approvingly before settling in his seat to reread one of his favorites. He truly wanted to take the trip to help take her mind off of things. She didn't go into many details about what happened with her mother, but the fact she wanted to leave today rather than staying for another week at home said something.

Kakashi remembered when they were stuck in the elevator months ago, how she also asked for a trip to France, which he claimed he would have to rob every bank in Japan in doing so. That was a lie of course. He could technically afford anything with the money he had stored away since his parents had died, but he never wanted to touch it until now. He really wasn't sure why. So he had thought of the idea of actually going for a while. Now just seemed like the best time. If anything, he hoped it would bring them not only closer, but stronger as a couple. He just had a feeling. They would really need to rely on the strength in the future.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was at this point when I started to request a beta to help me with future chapters. Some of the earlier chapters were fixed up a bit, but not everything just yet. Beta'd chapters will be marked at the bottom.
> 
> Beta'd by [_denilmo_](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo) aka _CelestialCircumference_ on FF.net.  <3


	24. Joie de Vivre

**Chapter 24: Joie de Vivre**

Kakashi smiled as he watched Sakura fall in and out of sleep during their cab ride to the hotel. Her head slowly started to fall forward during a turn, almost hitting the backseat window before he pulled her into his arms.

The feeling of his chest roused her from sleep for a moment. She let out a small yawn and glanced sleepily at the mesmerizing garlands of lights that blurred by. Paris was absolutely just as beautiful as she had imagined. She just wished she wasn't so tired from their fifteen hour flight to really enjoy the spectacular view of the city.

"Awake?" Kakashi asked.

"Mm, barely. I don't think I'm dealing too well with the time change," she responded with a yawn.

"What? It's only like 1:00 am in Tokyo right now."

" _Only_ ," she scoffed. Wrapping her arms around his stomach, she squeezed him into a hug and added, "Where are we staying at?"

"Secret."

"…I hate you."

"It warms my heart when you say that."

"Icy heart," she muttered.

Kakashi patted her shoulder. "We're almost there."

Sakura nodded and buried her head more into his chest. She listened to the comforting patter of Kakashi's heart, making her doze off again. It wasn't until they had come to a complete stop that she woke again. Fighting a yawn, she slid out of the cab with the help of Kakashi pulling her by the hand. She rubbed her eyes briefly, trying to wake up more as he went to get their baggage and pay the driver. Crossing her arms to shield herself from the cold, she admired the well-manicured plants that surrounded the circular driveway. Her eyes slowly followed the pavement that wrapped around behind her up towards a breathtaking, multi-story château.

"Kakashi!" she gasped.

"Yes?"

She pointed a sharp finger towards the building. "Are we… seriously staying there?"

"No, we're actually going to camp outside it," he teased.

"…"

Sakura shot him a playful glare. She took in the beautiful outside as they walked towards the entrance. Vines had completely enveloped most of walls, leaving a small peek inside the warm amber glow of the rooms. Made up of a handcrafted decorative metal that intertwined with glass, the arch of the entryway completely dwarfed them in size. Crystal, French-styled chandeliers sparkled beyond the doors highlighting a grand staircase that stretched up towards the different levels of the château.

Once they were inside Sakura could hardly fathom where they were. It was like they had stepped into one of her art history books. The inner walls of the main lobby had a rich wood paneling with ornate cravings along the sides. Mirrors were beautifully incorporated into the walls, stretching high into the ceiling and reflecting the overhanging lights that made the room seem like it could stretch on for infinity. Rococo-styled paintings, ranging from small portraits to full-sized landscapes, which spanned across several feet, were placed thoughtfully around the room.

The French that rolled off of Kakashi's lips effortlessly was perhaps the most amazing to her. She had a very basic knowledge of French she had learned in school, but he was clearly fluent, using words she could barely make out as he spoke with the front desk clerk. A bellhop in a crisp, black uniform gathered their luggage on a rolling transporter and disappeared into one of the many hallways.

Kakashi turned to her and asked, "Well, they are still serving dinner, but I think we're both pretty tired. Want to go up and get settled? We could just order something small to bring up to us."

"Sounds good to me," she replied.

He grasped her hand into his and walked towards the direction where the bellhop had disappeared earlier. Glancing at all of the amazing details of the furnishings and art they passed in the hall, she could hardly wait to see their room.

Sakura squeezed his hand and said, "Kakashi, this place is so amazing."

"Glad you like it," he said with a small smile.

"This is all seriously… _way_ too nice for someone like me."

"Nonsense, it's very deserving for someone like you."

"How am I supposed to ever pay you back for spoiling me like this?"

"You're very obsessed with trying to repay favors, aren't you?"

She glared. "I like to be fair."

"Well, if you really want to pay me back… There's one thing that comes to mind that you could do for me."

"Yes?"

"It involves n-"

"–Let me guess," she cut in. "Something to do with nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and a cherry?"

"Sakura, I was going to say nothing but sweet kisses from you would make up for it, but I like that idea better."

"Liar."

"Maybe."

Sakura rolled her eyes at his eye crinkle of a smile as they stepped into an elevator. After passing two floors they entered into another grand hallway. This one had the same art theme compared to the first floor, but with a richer color scheme of decorative wallpaper with accents of crimson and dark blues that complimented the dark stained wood panels. Sakura quietly bounced on her heels in anticipation as Kakashi unlocked the door to their room. Their luggage had been neatly placed to the side in the hall past the doorway.

Stepping slowly onto the polished wooden floor, Sakura inhaled the scent of fresh flowers. Clasping her hands together, she fought back a grin as she went into the main room as Kakashi followed behind. Her jaw almost dropped at the sight. The main bed was _huge_ with several layers of plush bedding. The vertical print from the covers matched perfectly with the fabric of the back headboard, which had an off-white painted antique wooden frame. The same print was draped from the ceiling in folds which hung slightly over the bed. The walls of the room had a wonderfully crafted, white wooden paneling which had sparse trims of pale blues throughout the room. Detailed floral shapes of wallpaper appeared selectively inside a few of the panels, making the room feel like a modern version of an old French interior design pulled from the 1800s. The antique looking furniture almost seemed small compared to the size of the room, but the multiple pieces made the room feel rather charming. Nestled in the corner sat a TV which was surround by a small lover's seat and plush chairs. In the middle sat a coffee table with fresh-cut, tall pink daises she smelled earlier.

Turning to her right, she was surprised to see a small marble fireplace with a tall mirror that hung above. Trying to take everything in, she still couldn't believe she was actually going to be spending a week here. Never had she stayed in any place so nice in her life. She walked up to one of the multiple windows next to Kakashi to see what the view looked like. Below them, there was a terrace that led down into a garden that went as far as the eye could see into the night. Multi-colored flowers were illuminated by soft lighting. Trees and shaped bushes were decorated neatly with strings of white lights in celebration of the holiday season. This place was too perfect in more ways than one.

"What do you think?" Kakashi asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he peered out of the window.

"This is… insane, Kakashi. It's so beautiful."

"It certainly is. I've visited France once when I was little, but I don't think I've ever been anywhere like this before. Kind of amazing they built things like this so early in the century."

"Yeah, that's for sure," she agreed. Sakura moved behind him to snuggle her arms around his waist underneath his jacket. "Thank you… again and again for taking me here. I don't think I can say it enough."

"Happy to," he replied as he squeezed her arms.

"After all this traveling today, I think I sorely need a relaxing bath."

"Go for it. I'll take one after you."

"Okay," she replied, giving him one more hug around his waist before letting go. After discarding her winter wear and shoes in a corner, she walked over to her luggage and flipped it over to open it. Shuffling through her stuff, she got out a few bathing supplies and her usual pajamas. She was secretly glad she washed her clothes before she left her mother's house. The hotel probably had a laundry service, but she would have a difficult time talking in French with the staff. Kakashi probably wouldn't have minded helping in that area, but he had done so much for her as it was.

Holding her stuff in a hand, she opened the wooden door that led into the bathroom. She nearly dropped her belongings in surprise; there was a large whirlpool tub that sat near a window raised on a tiled platform surrounded by candles. Separated by a porcelain sink on the other side was a glass steam shower. Seeing that the tub was _clearly_ big enough for two, she bit her bottom lip debating if perhaps she should ask him to join her. Trying to ignore her nerves flaring up at the thought, she placed her stuff on a stool and opened the bathroom door a little bit to shyly peek through. Kakashi laid comfortably in just his shirt and jeans now, resting against a few pillows on the bed.

Kakashi lowered his book from his now maskless face. "Something wrong?"

A blush shot through her cheeks. "Oh, no… I was, um, wondering if maybe… you'd want to join me?"

He raised a brow, intrigued. "Oh?"

"Yes, well, there's plenty of room… and you know… we should save water and time, right?"

Chuckling at her reasons, he replied, "Sure."

"Okay, I-I'll let you know when it's ready."

She smiled sweetly before closing the door, feeling idiotic at her embarrassed stuttering. With a sigh, she began to look for the faucets of the tub, which seemed to be only a small chrome cylinder. Realizing she had no idea how to turn it on after trying to twist it, she began to feel around over the jets inside the lining of the tub, finding nothing that really looked like a switch. Going back to the cylinder again, she tried to pull it, which did nothing. Then she tried to firmly push it, making her jump at the sudden water that poured out. Letting the water run after plugging the bottom, she browsed through the bottles that were in a small basket off to the side. She smelled one that was labeled bath bubbles in English and poured a bit into the rising water.

Standing up, she wondered if she should undress now or not. After some debating, she decided to do it now and then wrapped herself in one of the terry cotton robes that was hung on the wall. By the time the bath was filled high enough, she felt a bit excited, nervous, and a little embarrassed for a mix of reasons. She certainly had never bathed with anyone before, but it seemed like a fun thing for couples to do. Trying to remind herself they had both seen each other nude before, it still wasn't helping her to not feel somewhat shy as she opened the door again.

"Ready," she said, still hiding a bit behind the door.

Kakashi dropped his Icha Icha book on the end table beside the bed and slid off the covers to walk towards the bathroom. Sakura backed away from the door, glancing at the tiled floor for a moment, and then looked back up to find Kakashi placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

"So cute when you're embarrassed," he commented with a smile.

She huffed. "I am not."

"Uh-huh." He pulled off his shirt and tossed it near the sink. His pants followed after that, and he slowly lowered his boxers until they fell on the floor. Averting her gaze, she turned around and began to untie the sash around her waist. Feeling his hands dip behind the collar of her robe, she stopped and let him pull the robe away from her shoulders, letting it drop.

Massaging her shoulders for a moment, he then led her to the tub and helped her step inside before following after her.

Sliding lower into the warm jet stream, Sakura leaned her head back against the edge of the tub and sighed. "This feels really nice."

"Don't fall asleep now," he mused. Sakura snickered and began to fake snore the moment he said that. He laughed and shuffled through some of the soaps in the basket, then turned to sit comfortably. He tapped the water. "Come here, I'll wash you up."

Sakura smiled coyly before shifting through the water. "Cause, I'm a dirty girl?"

"Yes, so very dirty," he said with a smile.

She sighed before facing her back towards him. "It's sad to know that line is from that book you gave me."

"We could recreate the bath scene."

"Hum, yeah, didn't it have _three_ people in that one?"

"Your point?"

She let out a sigh with an eye roll.

Scooping a few handfuls of water into her hair, it turned her light pink strands of hair into a deep shade once it was completely wet. Lathering some soap in his hands, he massaged her scalp.

Sakura closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying his massaging fingers as they worked in circles across her head. "Oh, I was wondering."

"Hum?"

"How did you learn French so well?"

"My mother was French, actually."

"Oh…" Her gut dropped slightly.

"I know what you're thinking. Don't feel bad for asking."

"Well…"

"I don't mind talking about it with you."

"Okay," she replied, still a bit uneasy.

"When I was growing up she would teach me a little bit every day, placing little sticky notes around the house of what that item was in French. It was kind of a fun game I played with her. Also, when we went to events or anything that required me to wait around a long time, we would usually practice talking in French."

"That sounds pretty cool. I wish I knew French a little better. I mostly focused on English in school."

"Well, I can teach you if you'd like. Drop your head back."

Moving her body forward, she slowly went back, looking up into his eyes as he rinsed her hair. "Teach me something, _sensei_ ," she replied teasingly.

"Tu as de beaux yeux."

"I have… what?"

"You have beautiful eyes."

She grinned. "I think I can counter that."

"Oh?"

"J'aime votre sourire."

He smiled. "You love my smile?"

"Oui," she replied with a nod. Sitting up from the bath, she wrung some water out of her hair and turned around. She motioned to the small shampoo bottle. "Let me do you."

"You can do me all night long."

Failing to dodge a splash of water at him, he gave her the bottle. She glared at him while moving in front of him. She quickly lathered soap in her hands and scratched her fingers lightly into his silvery hair. Wiping his forehead free of soap suds, she laughed and put it on his face. "Have you ever had a beard?"

"Beard and a mask don't mix well, so no."

Pulling more suds from his hair, she began to decorate his face like she was putting frosting on a cake. After sculpting a bit, she moved back a bit, admiring her handiwork. "Hum, yes. You would look really sexy with a beard."

He sighed. "I'm going to bet I look ridiculous right now. Especially if it's your doing…"

"You look amazing."

"…"

He peered into the reflection of the large faucet head. He looked like Santa Claus except without a hat… and why was his hair sticking up into a Mohawk? He glared at her long stare which prompted a giggle.

When he was about to wash it away, she stopped his hand. "Noooo. Stay like this for awhile."

"Absolutely not."

She pouted as she watched him dunk his head into the water, destroying her precious soap beard. Settling into the edge of the tub, she laid her head back onto the rim and took in a deep inhale. "I've decided."

"What's this now?"

"We're going to stay here forever."

"In this… tub?"

She nodded. "Yep."

"Well, we sure are going to get pruney… _really_ pruney."

"Fine by me." She smiled.

"You'll look like an old lady."

Splashing water at him, she replied, "And you'll look like an old man."

He splashed back with a narrowed glare. Flinching from the water, she retaliated with another splash his way.

Kakashi smirked, splashing a large amount of water towards her. "You should pick your battles wisely."

Huffing, she sat still in the sloshing water for a moment before moving lower until it reached the bottom of her chin.

"What are you up to now?" he asked with a raised brow.

"I call a truce."

"Fine… truce," he said skeptically.

"So, come here and kiss on it," she said with hands outstretched from the bubbly water that swirled around.

He drifted closer, slowly feeling her soft stomach, and wrapped an arm around her waist. Leaning in, he kissed her wet lips. Quickly, she turned and dunked his head into the water. His head came up with the saddest pout she had ever seen, making her fight back a laugh. His silvery hair looked hilarious flattened against his wet face.

"This is _far_ from over."

Before she had a chance to reply, she was promptly dunked into the water. Her head shot up with a gasp. He attempted to dunk her again, but she fought back with a foot on his chest, pushing him to the other side; it made some of the water splash from the tub.

Moving backwards from his advances, she said, "Kakashi, you stay on your side."

"Are you sure you want that?" He pulled her foot resting on his stomach out of the water and began to kiss her toes.

Sakura tried to yank her foot from his grasp. "Give me my foot back!"

"Un-uh." He kissed along her ankle and up her leg. Slowly coming closer, he felt along her legs towards her inner thighs with a hand. He barely touched her over her sweet spot.

"Kakashi," she warned.

"Yes?"

"S-stay on your side," she miserably tried to say, trying to hold onto her resolve to keep him at a distance. Her hands didn't seem to want to cooperate with her words; instead of pushing him back, her fingers caressed over his dripping chest, enticing him to even come even closer.

Kakashi leaned in and began a trail of kisses at the base of her shoulder leading up to her neck. He caressed her spot again, this time in slow strokes. "Are you sure?"

She breathed an unsure heavy sigh. "No, I mean yes."

"No or yes?"

"Yes, no…"

Kakashi held back a laugh. "Hum, so which is it?"

He began to lap up the water around her neck, and then kissed down to her chest until a bubble covered pink nipple met his lips barely above the water's edge.

"I… I can't think if you keep doing that," she said, moaning at the feeling from his rubbing fingers beneath the water. Water trickled down her arms as she let her hands roam into his messy, matted strands of hair.

"Well, which specifically? Since I'm doing two things at once," he replied in between ard sucks at her nipple.

Sakura moaned again. "Kakashi, please…"

"Please… stop, or please… faster?"

"F-faster."

"Well, wait. Which part?" he asked, licking his tongue in circles around her breasts.

"Damn it, Kakashi," she gritted through her teeth.

Kakashi grinned to himself. "This is what you get for lying on our truce. Now, what do you want?"

Sakura let out an aggravated sigh. "Please touch me faster… down there."

"Down where?"

"…"

Guessing she was getting close to punching him soon, he stopped his terrible teasing and quickened his strokes. He licked all around her exposed skin, sucking every bit tenderly and playfully. She pulled his head up with both hands to capture his lips, exploring his tongue with hers desperately. Moaning into his mouth, she broke away to try to catch her breath between her growing gasps. Melting further into the water, she held herself up the best she could, feeling his fingers start to enter her repeatedly.

"Kakashi," she whimpered.

Spreading her legs wider with each maddening pump of his hand, she bit her lip, trying not to completely burst with the moans clawing at the back of her throat. His fingers switched to her core, keeping up a quickened pace. Bending her head back with her eyes clutched tight, she felt cold water drip down along her neck. He nibbled at her ear and whispered, "Je t'aime."

She wasn't sure if it was the husky tone in his voice, but hearing him say he loved her in French sent chills down her spine. "Je t'aime aussi*," she murmured against his cheek - right before she crashed into a toe-curling orgasm. She couldn't fight back her staggered moans as he milked out her waves of pleasure. Slowly he eased back his feverish kisses along her neck and placed his arms around her waist.

Trying to catch her breath, she kissed across his cheek and captured his lips with hers. Breaking from the kiss, she sighed. "That was so mean, Kakashi."

"What?" he replied innocently.

"You and your horrid teasing."

"You know you loved it."

She mumbled in response, not really agreeing or disagreeing. Kakashi pulled at her hand from the water and tsk-ed. "See? Now we're wrinkly. Are you sure you want to stay in here forever?"

"Yes," she said with a narrowed glare.

He dropped her hand and splashed her lightly. "How am I going to make love to you senselessly if we stay in here forever?"

"Well, I suppose we can leave for now… wait, _senselessly_?" Her eyebrow rose.

"Mm, don't worry. I'm going to wait until tomorrow night so you can at least walk normally for one of the days we're here."

"…What?"

"What?" He chuckled at her expression before standing up from the tub. Holding out both hands for her, he pulled her up and almost let go before she started to drop down again. Tugging her up again, he asked, "You okay?"

"A little… light headed," she admitted, holding herself steady around his waist.

"You do look rather flushed. Unless I'm making you blush… from me poking you in the thigh right now.

"No," she grumbled, now suddenly feeling embarrassed by him mentioning that.

Kakashi slowly stepped out of the tub and helped her out. After drying off, they wrapped in their respective towels and went into the bedroom. Sakura fell back on the bed, still feeling a bit dizzy, and closed her eyes.

After he ordered them a quick dinner from room service, he changed into a shirt and pajamas. He knelt on the bed and sat beside Sakura, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

"Mm?" she murmured sleepily.

"You should get changed before food gets here."

"Mm."

"Want me to help?"

"Um, sure."

Slowly he pulled open her wrapped towel, exposing her completely. He stared for a moment. Originally he did have good intentions, but somehow his mouth found its way on top of one of her perked nipples.

Her eyes shot open. "Kakashi! How is this helping?"

"Not sure, but I'm pretty sure it is somehow or another."

Sakura laughed. "I suppose I am feeling more awake now..."

"See?"

"But now I'm unmotivated to change…"

"Oh, that's a problem then."

"Well, we can figure it out later."

"A good plan."

Turning her flat on her back, he squeezed her breasts together, licking between them back and forth. Sakura began to pull up his shirt before a knock interrupted them.

Kakashi sighed and released his hold on her. "I completely forgot about food. I blame those." He pointed at her breasts.

She scowled and pointed at his lower region. "Blame that."

"Blame these," he whispered, dragging a finger softly across her lips.

Pulling him by his shirt towards her, she started to say, "Blame-"

Another polite knock sounded off.

"Damn it." He sighed once more, feeling a bit sad wrapping her in the towel again, and motioned for her to get under the covers. Sliding from the bed, he went to answer the door. Talking briefly in French, he tipped the concierge and pulled in the tray for them.

"What kind of food did you get?"

"I hope you like snails."

"…"

Sitting up from the bed, she stared at him for a moment, hoping he was joking.

"No?"

"…."

"It's just a chicken salad."

She sighed in relief. "Oh, good."

"That's mixed in with snails."

"…"

She glared at his teasing smile and slid out from the sheets still clutching her towel. Trotting quickly to the bathroom, she changed into her pajamas and started to brush the tangles from her hair. She couldn't help but smile in the mirror. She wasn't sure how many times she could ask herself just how did she get so lucky? To fall in love with someone who was so wonderful, compassionate, funny, witty… the list could just go on and on. This trip was beyond generous in so many ways, but what mattered most to her was that she'd get to share the experience with just him, to make memories together that would last forever. She hoped to make many more in the future. If only her mother knew what she did about him and not just brashly judging him from how old he was. If she knew him like she did, there wouldn't be any problems. She sighed. It didn't matter for now. There would be plenty of chances to persuade her mother otherwise. Even if she never approved, all that really mattered was just that _they_ were happy in their relationship.

Leaving the bathroom, she walked into the bedroom and sat on the couch next to Kakashi who looked like he was poking at the salad he was holding, and then he handed it to her.

"I picked the snails out for you."

"…"

Sakura looked at the plate like she was about to vomit.

"Sakura, I'm kidding."

She pulled the plate from his hand and pouted. Snatching the fork from his other hand, she selected a few pieces of grilled chicken and vegetables and placed them in her mouth. She chewed slowly at first, glad to find it actually tasted pretty delicious.

"Mm, this is good."

"I was kidding that I picked them out."

"…"

She dropped her fork onto the plate.

"Sakura, I'm seriously kidding."

"I've lost my appetite." She placed the plate on the coffee table and started to stand up, before he pulled her arm to sit back down again.

"Sakura…"

She sighed and picked up the salad again. "Just… don't say snails."

"Escargot."

"Or in French."

He made a sad face before picking up his plate. "Fine, fine. I'm sorry for teasing you."

"You're not _really_ sorry."

"You're right. It's too fun not to."

She jabbed him with the fork.

"Ow, always so violent…"

"You know you like it," she teased.

"I do, which makes me wonder…"

"Wonder what?"

"What are your thoughts on S&M?"

She dropped her fork again and blushed. "Kakashi! Let me eat without being disturbed in one way or another."

"Fine… we'll talk about it later."

"Never."

"Tomorrow."

"Never."

"Come on…"

She groaned. "Will you stop asking if I agree to later?"

"Yes."

"Fine… later." She thought to herself, _'never'_.

He smiled and happily ate his salad for a moment. "Oh, so you never gave me some present?"

"Oh, yeah… you can forget about that."

"What? Why?"

"You have been nothing but a big tease today. No present for you."

"Please?"

"No."

"I brought you to France… doesn't that give me a lot of points?"

"All your teasing knocked you down to negative three points."

"How many points did I have to begin with?"

"One-hundred."

He sighed depressingly. "Man…"

Sakura smiled while she ate. "Hum, well I suppose you can make the points up. You have time."

"Oh, good. How many until I get my present?"

"Fifty."

"Damn it…"

After they finished eating, Kakashi placed their dishes on the cart and set it out in the hall. Sakura yawned and slowly trudged her way to the bathroom following right after Kakashi. Brushing their teeth together, they kept knock into each other's hips as they tried to spit in the sink first.

"Kaw-kaw-snee!" she mumbled with the toothbrush in her mouth.

Finally letting her get to the sink, she spit and placed her toothbrush on the counter. Turning to him, she said, "Negative five points."

He pushed her aside and spit into the sink. "No, no, no. Not fair. I was here first."

"No you… well, you did walk in first."

"See?"

"But ladies should always be first."

"But…"

"Nope!" Before he could say anything else, she smacked his ass and ran out of the bathroom.

"Hey!" He dropped his toothbrush on the sink and ran after her.

Sakura jumped onto the bed before being tackled from behind. He started to tickle her mercilessly.

"Kakashi! Please, don't!" she squealed between laughter.

"You can't just do a hit and run on my ass."

"Y-yes, I can. I just d-did."

He tickled her more in response.

"Pleaseeeee," she begged, feeling all the more helpless as she was being pinned down from behind.

"Why should I?"

"Because y-you l-love me?"

"Hum…" He tickled her some more.

Her face was flushed red with laughter, on the verge of tears. "B-because I l-love you?"

He stopped for a moment, letting her escape from his grasp. She scurried quickly across the bed and pointed at him. "Negative five points."

"Oh, hell no."

She braced herself, holding her hands like blades in a makeshift fighting stance lying down.

"Now, now. None of that. How about a truce?"

"You'd trust me?"

"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Okay… truce."

"Kiss on it."

Holding her sides as a counter measure for if he might tickle her, she shuffled her knees across the bed and kissed him on the lips. Eying him to see that he wouldn't try anything, she slowly went backwards to settle under the sheets of the bed.

"See… unlike someone I know, I keep my word."

"Fine… plus ten points."

"Finally. Where do I stand now?"

"Negative three."

He sighed and moved off of the bed to turn off all the lights. Slowly walking back to the bed in the dark, he slid under the covers and turned onto his side to wrap an arm around Sakura's waist. "Oh, um, for tomorrow… Sakura?"

"…"

"Sakura?"

"…"

He started to hear a light snore. Unsure if she was joking or not, he tapped her stomach which made her breathe into a sleepy grunt. Stunned that she had seriously fallen asleep within a couple of minutes, he made a mental note to tease her all day about it tomorrow. He whispered goodnight against her neck and closed his eyes. It wasn't until a minute later that he fell asleep as well.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo) <3


	25. Le Cœur a ses Raisons

**Chapter 25: Le Cœur a ses Raisons**

Sakura inhaled a deep breath, and slowly opening her eyes, she glanced up at the high vaulted ceiling above. For a second she had almost forgotten where exactly she was. Memories flooded back to her of how she was whisked away to France by the most amazing man lying beside her. Her green eyes turned towards his angelic, sleeping face. Shifting on her side, she pulled back several fallen strands of silver hair over his eyes, slowly moving her fingers down towards his lips. She grinned to herself realizing that very soon she would get to wake up next to him everyday. Before she was about to pull away, Kakashi grabbed her hand and squinted his eyes open. A soft smile formed at his lips.

He kissed her fingers lightly and whispered, "Good morning, beautiful."

She smiled shyly and replied, "Good morning, handsome. Or actually, I think its noon now." Bringing his hand down from his lips, she kissed him, lingering for a moment before pulling away.

"You fell asleep in a matter of seconds last night."

Sakura narrowed her eyes. "I bet you did, too."

He yawned. "Unlikely."

"Uh-huh. So, what's the plan for today?"

"Whatever your little heart desires."

She smiled and nuzzled herself into his chest, wrapping her arms around him tightly and thought to herself for a moment. "Hum… I think it would be fun to just wander around Paris a bit and maybe check out a museum or two."

"Sounds good to me. Do you want to find some random place to have lunch?" He squeezed her into a hug and held her for a moment.

"Sure. Let's do that." Giving him one last hug, she kissed him and slid out from under the covers to get dressed. He followed after her and went through his suitcase to find something somewhat dressy, but comfortable to wear. Once they were both dressed they headed down into the main lobby.

Sakura plucked a map from a display near the front entrance as she waited for Kakashi to have the front staff call them a cab. After a few moments, Kakashi peered over her shoulder. She pointed excitedly along a stretch of road on the map. "Maybe we should go to The Avenue des Champs-Élysées? I know there's a bunch of shops there and it would be neat to see the Arc de Triomphe, too."

"That'd be nice to see."

She smiled and put the folded the map into her jacket pocket. Once their cab arrived, they talked a bit during the ride about what all they should try to see while they were in France.

"Ooh," Sakura murmured as she bolted over him to look out the window on Kakashi's side. His brow rose as he glanced at what they were passing by. It was an open ice skating rink.

"You ice skate?" he asked.

"Yep! Ino and I used to during the winter break from school. Do you think we can go later?"

"Sure, but, um…"

"You don't want to?"

"I've never ice skated before."

"Oh, finally there's something I can teach you," she jested.

"I'll give it a try, but I have feeling I'll probably make a fool out of myself."

"Which makes it all the more fun," she beamed.

"For you." He gave her a teasing glare.

She smiled. "Exactly."

Kakashi pulled her by the hand from the cab once they arrived in front of a busy section of the Champs-Élysées Avenue strip. There were multiple buildings that lined along the street ranging from stores and theaters to cafes and restaurants. They held hands, walking with the flow of the crowd on the large bricked sidewalk which was decorated with street lamps and a long row of trees that went as far as the eye could see. Each tree was decorated with strings of holiday lights.

Sakura couldn't keep her eyes focused on one spot for too long. There were way too many shops to choose from and the antique buildings towering over them were simply breathtaking. It was amazing to her how the city had a wonderful blend of old and new modern style. She noted a lot of the retail stores seemed rather expensive looking, but figured a little window shopping wouldn't hurt.

"See any restaurants you'd like to try?" he asked.

"How about you pick? I'm sure they are all good."

"Let's see… which place would have a nice variety of snail dishes."

"…"

She tugged at his hand, casting him a disapproving glare. He smiled in response, turning back to survey the shops around them. "How about that restaurant over there?"

"Sure."

It seemed small from the exterior, but proved to be the exact opposite once they were inside. Kakashi said something in French to the hostess, who nodded almost too enthusiastically. They followed her through several short halls and dining rooms until they came to a room that overlooked a beautiful garden. There was also a patio accessible from a side door, but seemed to be closed most likely due to the chilly winter weather.

Once they were seated, Sakura glanced over the simple lunch menu in front of her and let out an aggravated sighed.

Kakashi lowered his and asked, "What's the matter?"

"I already see the words snail in here twice. You picked this place on purpose."

He held back a laugh. "I've never even been here before and lots of places have escargot."

"Conspiracy," Sakura muttered.

"I guess all of France is in on this _conspiracy_ of yours."

She nudged his arm with her elbow. "Damn right."

Their waiter came by shortly and was holding a bottle of wine, and she could somewhat decipher that he asked if they wanted to try some. To Sakura's surprise, Kakashi agreed and they were both poured a glass. The waiter left to give them a few minutes to look over the menu.

"Am I even allowed to drink?" she asked, staring at the bubbly glass in front of her.

"The drinking age here is eighteen, so you can, but you don't have to."

"Oh, no. I like wine," she said happily and took a small sip.

"Oh? But the legal age in Japan is twenty."

"Well… You know, here and there, but not a lot."

Kakashi tsk-ed. "Such a rebel."

Sakura glanced up and smiled before looking towards the menu again. She really wasn't since it was her mother who let her have some on special occasions, but only a small amount. He didn't need to know how inexperienced she was in the world of alcohol. At the parties Ino dragged her to in high school she always was too uptight to ever have whatever was offered there. Ino always teased her how she was such a stick in the mud.

Reluctantly, she asked him to help translate a few of the dishes for her after making him promise none of them had snails in it at all. After they ordered their food, Sakura couldn't help but notice Kakashi's gaze on her.

"What?" she asked, glancing up at him with a blush.

"Just admiring."

"T-there's nothing to admire," she said, looking down to the napkin she was fumbling with awkwardly in her lap.

"Always so negative about yourself. Why do you think that?"

"I… don't know."

"Yes, you do. Tell me."

Sakura wished she still had a menu to look at to avoid his questioning gaze. She sighed. "I just… Um, oh, look at that." She pointed at something randomly behind him, but unfortunately he wasn't buying her sad attempt at a subject change.

He kept his stare at her. "Uh-huh. You know you're a very poor liar."

She sighed once more. "So I'm usually told…"

"I share with you. Share with me, hum?"

When he said it like that it made her feel guilty. He was right. He had shared with her about his painful past and she had been happy that he had felt comfortable enough with her to do that. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell him more about herself and her silly worries, but compared to his past anything that ever bothered her seemed absolutely trivial. It just doesn't seem worth mentioning. She felt stupid about her insecurities. It was so childish. Then again, he was asking to know and she knew how much he cared in wanting her to be honest no matter what.

"Okay, well… There isn't a moment that I'm not grateful to be with someone as wonderful as you, but I can't help but feel..."

"…Yes?"

She glanced down at the napkin again. "That, um, you could have someone that's probably one hundred times better than me in more ways than one."

"Well, you're wrong there. You're irreplaceable, and you know you're the first person whom I've truly fallen for, right? Doesn't that say something?"

She fought back a smile, glancing up sheepishly at him. "I know and that's why it's stupid of me to feel that way sometimes. I guess it's because… in past relationships I seemed to get dumped for someone else or I just wasn't good enough in general. All of this seems almost too good to be true. Ever feel that way?"

"Trust me. I feel the exact same way. It kind of took me awhile to be able to let myself be happy since I almost feel like I don't deserve it, but you know what?"

Raising a brow, she replied, "Um, what?"

"I know I'm not going anywhere and I'm pretty sure you aren't either, are you?"

She smiled. "No."

"I think with both of us… If we didn't go through past relationships that didn't work out, we wouldn't be the same people we are today and wouldn't be any wiser."

"That's true."

"I always have to wonder about all the different chain of events it took for us to meet. I think we both have had a difficult past in one way or another for different reasons, but we had to deal with it to get to this point. I don't know about you, but I'd go through it all over again if it meant I'd end up finding a wonderful and beautiful person who I could possibly spend the rest of my life with."

Sakura's cheeks shot bright red. She probably would have torn the napkin she was tugging at in half if it hadn't been a thick cloth. Her heart hammered at the mere idea of what exactly he implied by that. He couldn't have meant it that way, could he?

"Oh, that's a new blush," he commented, hiding a grin behind his scarf.

"Shush," she muttered while looking away still beet red. Suddenly, it sure did feel rather hot in here. She began to slip off her outer coat to the back of her chair before she felt him caress a finger at the bottom of her chin, pulling her to look at him.

"What? You know I love your cute blushes," he teased. Pulling his scarf down for a moment, he leaned in to briefly kiss her on the lips.

Seeing their waiter arriving with their food, she shooed his hand away from her face in embarrassment and tried to get a handle on her nerves. Her stomach quietly rumbled just from the mere smell of the hot food placed in front of them. Picking up her fork, she was about to eat before she realized what she was staring at. "God… damn it, Kakashi."

"Yes, _love_?"

"I hate you so much," she gritted through her teeth. She dropped her fork in defeat on the table. She was so hungry, too. This was not funny.

"What's wrong?"

She pointed to her food. "This."

"And… like I promised. There aren't any snails in it."

"You didn't mention _at all_ this dish had frog legs." She stared down at her plate again with a disgusted frown.

"Oh, I guess I missed that. Sorry."

"You're a damn liar."

He smiled before trading plates with her. "It's a joke. Calm down, but honestly they aren't that bad. It does kind of taste like chicken."

"Yuck."

"Shouldn't you at least try it before hating it?"

She shot him a glare. "No."

"You should try new things. You know, experience a new culture and customs."

"Look, think of it like you're eating Kermit the Frog. How could you do such a thing?" Sakura winced at imagining that poor Muppet being chopped to pieces with that creepy plastered smile on its face.

"Mmm. Kermit."

She averted her eyes as Kakashi took a bite. She shuddered inwardly. Disgusting. She didn't care what kind of delicacy it was or how good it tasted. There was no way she would put frog meat in her mouth. Glancing at her new plate, it looked like the one he described earlier which was a grilled salmon in a nice white wine sauce with a few herbs and spices. Cutting off a small piece with her fork, she was happy it tasted like heaven in her mouth.

"But you seemed to like it last night," he piped up.

"Don't… even tease."

"I told you… it _does_ taste like chicken."

"..."

He shook a small leg in front of her. "You're being silly. Just try one."

She swatted it away with her fork, which the tip brushed against it. She sighed and dropped her fork on the table in exchange for the other clean one. "No."

"Such a spoiled sport."

She huffed in response, giving him an icy glare. He simply smiled, obviously enjoying giving her a hard time. "It's amazing how I can love you so much in one minute, and then hate you in the next."

"Lies, Sakura. You love me all the time. Admit it."

"You're delusional."

"And you're in denial."

Sakura rolled her eyes and continued eating her lunch. The rest of their conversation was pretty pleasant - minus Kakashi's last plea with her to eat the last frog leg which prompted her to give him a swift kick in the shin under the table.

They were back along the main avenue street again, holding hands as they strode down the sidewalk. "You know, my leg kind of isn't feeling too well because of _someone_. Maybe we shouldn't ice skate later."

"Oh, come on, I know I didn't hit you that hard," she replied with a frown.

"I don't know… if only there was some way for you to make up for the brutality." Suddenly, he pulled her towards a store. "Oh, here we go."

Sakura's eyes went wide at where they were heading. "No, no, no."

"Yes, yes, yes."

Trying to fight against his grip, she slid her fingers along the open glass door to the store which made a screeching sound as she was pulled halfway inside against her will. She kept a stern hold on the door handle like her life depended on it, but Kakashi tickled her stomach to make her lose her grip. She groaned while she was pulled fully inside. How could he do this to her? She wanted to die in embarrassment as she glanced around at all the racy small bits clothing that hung on the walls. Hiding behind him from the woman who greeted them, she tried to yank her hand away from his to make a run for it. He said something in French that made the female clerk laugh, somehow making her feel even more irritated.

"Kakashi! This is embarrassing," she whispered. Although it was unlikely anyone in the store understood Japanese anyway.

"I thought women liked shopping?"

"I don't… shop for lingerie."

"You own panties and bras, don't you?"

Kakashi smiled as he looked around the store. He came here on a whim just to see what kind of blush she would make, but technically he did owe her some new panties - although she still had no clue she was missing any. Also, the mere thought of seeing her in one of these outfits almost made him giddy in excitement.

She glanced around. "T-that's different from… these."

"Well, I think you owe me for mocking the French half of my culture and for kicking me. So let's pick out something nice."

"I've never mocked your culture..."

"You refuse to try France's delicacies."

"Oh, come on. There are lots of things in Japan I won't eat either that's a delicacy."

"And you call yourself Japanese."

She rolled her eyes and tugged at his hand. "I won't run. Promise."

Slowly, he loosened his hold on her hand, and she immediately tried to make a mad dash for the door. He caught her by the jacket and pulled her further into the store as she groaned. He sighed. "You might actually like it if you just try."

Not wanting to admit he would probably be right, she kept quiet and blushed at all the various displays of corsets, stockings, bras, and panties they passed by. "You're just a pervert."

"What's wrong with wanting to see my gorgeous girlfriend in something nice?"

She mumbled something inaudible which made him laugh. "We _could_ go looking for a store more suited for S &M if you want, which we still need to talk about. Don't think I've forgotten."

Sakura felt her face drain. "No, no. Let's stay here."

Kakashi smiled. "If you insist."

After seriously promising she wouldn't run off, she began to willingly explore the store on her own. She traced her hands among the various silks and laces as she searched through racks. She just couldn't imagine herself being sexy in get up like this. Hell, the manikins pulled this off better than she could. There were a lot of pretty things, but she couldn't help but feel like an alien. She sighed. Maybe Ino was right that she really was a prude.

Sakura returned to Kakashi who handed her about five different outfits. "Try these on."

"Um…"

"I'll stay here. Just pick something that you like. If you don't like any of those, we'll keep looking."

"Okay," she grumbled.

She tromped off to the changing area, shooing the girl there while trying to say in French that she didn't need help, and went inside one of the dressing rooms. All the clothes had partly intertwined with each other; she had a fun time figuring out what strap went where in pulling the outfits apart. Having them assorted separately now, she looked them over wondering why Kakashi picked these. They were all different styles, but had a common theme of lacy-textured details.

The first outfit she tried on was too sexy for her tastes. It had a deep V-neckline that went all the way down to her navel. The bottom half barely covered her intimate area and it was even sheer enough to see through. She looked at herself in the mirror. It certainly fitted her well in all the right places. How did he know exactly what size she was? Trying not to think about it, she changed out of it for the next one. Holding up the outfit to her chest she realized it totally looked like a French maid outfit. She rolled her eyes. It had a small black and white apron which only covered the crotch area. There were purposely holes left around the breasts, and the underwear attached didn't even have a back to it. She glared. Like hell she was trying on that one.

She had to admit she liked how she looked in the third one. It was black with front details of lace with mesh sides. It had garters, which she wasn't exactly sure how to hook stockings to, and had underwire cups that made her breasts look bigger than usual, which she appreciated. Slipping on stockings to really see the full effect, it took her several minutes to figure out how to attach them properly without them falling down. Placing hands on her hips, she spun around. She actually felt sexy. Even Ino would have been proud. She beamed at herself in the mirror.

The fourth outfit was cute, but wasn't as sexy as the last one. It was a simple, deep purple sheer baby-doll cut outfit that had a silk ribbon along the front. It felt pretty comfortable and she loved how soft it felt. She actually wouldn't have minded sleeping in something like this as pajamas, but assumed Kakashi would never let her get any sleep wearing something like this every night. The final outfit was a strapless satin corset that had matching lacy panties and garter. She liked this one, but didn't feel all that comfortable in it. She didn't lace up the corset all the way, but could already tell that if it was, she would have a hard time breathing.

Deciding on the third one, she got dressed and found Kakashi hovering over the panties section. He looked up to her and asked, "Like any?"

"Yeah, I liked one."

"Which one?" He tried to peer at what she was holding behind her back.

She swayed her shoulders keeping his view blocked. "Secret."

"There's no way I can wait that long. Tell me… please?" he asked hopefully.

"Then I refuse to ever wear it."

"…but you will tonight?"

"If you still ice skate with me."

"How about you wear it while you ice skate?" He sucked in a breath imagining her twirling around in practically nothing like in that French Maid outfit. He knew there was no chance she would have picked it, but he had to try. Least he could envision it. Yes. Oh, God yes.

"…"

She glared.

He snapped back to her unamused face. "No?"

"Pervert."

"I am no such thing."

"You're so in denial."

Kakashi responded with an eye crinkle of a smile and gave her some money to purchase whatever she decided on. Finding the need to have some kind of restraint to not peek on what she was going to purchase, he pulled out his Icha Icha book and paced around in the front until she was ready to go. Once they were outside again, he placed his book back in his pocket and felt Sakura pull at his hand. "Let's check out the Arc de Triomphe."

"Alright."

It was in sight, but there was still quite a walk to reach it. The closer they approached the landmark, the more his thoughts couldn't help but drift to what it must have been like for his mother growing up in France. He remembered her telling him she moved to Paris for college and then after a year or two decided to be an exchange student in Japan. She fell in love with the country and wanted to come back after she graduated. He wondered if her family was supportive in living so far away.

Kakashi sighed. He really didn't know anything about her family. He had only met them briefly when he was a child. There was no doubt they wanted nothing to do with anyone from Hatake. It didn't matter if he was her son or not. Why else wouldn't they have tried contacting him after her death? He couldn't blame them though, especially if they knew how his father's side of the family had treated her.

They stood at the foot of the monument now. The sculpted reliefs along the sides reminded him of an old picture he saw once of his mother standing in front that very section of the arc. It was a strange feeling, knowing that she had been here once, stepping on the very same bricks he was now.

Bitterness started to creep into his heart. He barely had anything _but_ his memories that his parents had once existed. His uncle threw out all the family pictures of them once they had died. That was something he would never understand. Why? Why was it so important to destroy everything that he knew about them? Was it simply out of hate? Or was it just the satisfaction of making him feel even more miserable?

The only picture he managed to save was the one he had tucked away in his chest at home. It had been torn into pieces when he had found it in the wastebasket of his uncle's office. He had found even more pictures and mementos that night outside in the garbage can, but once his uncle had found out he had been digging through it, he ransacked his room. He tossed most of what he had found into the fireplace, saying how disgusting it was to have anyone with the Hatake name dirtying themselves like some homeless street beggar. That was the first of many nights he was beaten. What made it worse was that this all happened within the same week after his parents died. Never had he ever felt so miserable in his life. He would be lying if suicide didn't cross his mind back then. He almost did, but something stopped him.

"Kakashi?"

He flinched out of his daze to find Sakura staring at him in worry. "Hum?"

"You okay?"

"Yes… why?"

"Well, I asked you something, but you seemed kind of spaced out."

"Sorry. What did you ask?"

"Did you want to visit a museum after this?"

"Sure, sounds good."

"And, um… well, is anything the matter?"

"Not really."

Sakura frowned at him. "Tell me, please?"

"I was just... thinking about what kind of life my mother must have had when she lived here."

"Is she originally from Paris?"

"Only went to school here. Originally she's from a small town south of France."

"Oh, wow. I can only imagine how beautiful her hometown must be."

"Yeah, I'm sure it is."

"You've never been there?"

"Nope."

"We could visit… if you want to."

"I don't know…"

"Just think about it for now?"

"Well… I guess I'll think about it."

"Alright," she replied with an assuring smile. He smiled back, thankful all the more that she was here. There was absolutely no way he would have ever considered seeing what his mother's hometown was like on his own, but if Sakura was there, somehow it made him feel more at ease.

* * *

Kakashi would have chalked it up to being old for the kind of soreness he felt in his legs, but when he fell over on their bed at the hotel, Sakura followed right next to him with a plop. She let out a sigh.

"I never want to walk again."

"I vote we opt for wheelchairs for the rest of the trip," he mumbled face down into the bedding.

"Agreed."

After they visited the Arc de Triomphe, they went to explore one of the most famous museums in France, The Louvre Museum, which housed legendary works such as the Mona Lisa by Leonardo da Vinci. Sakura wasn't too happy at first at Kakashi elbowing a few people so they could get close enough to see it from the crowd surrounding it, but he knew she was really delighted to view it closely from the look on her face.

He didn't account for how massive the place was. He could have sworn they had walked for hours and hours looking through each section. It was certainly amazing to see the detailing of brush strokes and sculpted figures of famous works in person. It almost didn't seem possible that man could create something so detailed by hand. Pictures seriously didn't do the artworks any justice. They decided to go ahead and have dinner at the café there, which was rather nice. By the time they finished looking throughout most of the levels and even the gardens on the outside of the building, they decided to call it quits for the day, much to the disappointment of Sakura. They were both too tired to ice skate, which made him even more disappointed he wouldn't get to see her in some mouthwatering lingerie for promising to ice skate with her. He yawned, annoyed at how tired he felt. It was still so early at night. He really, _really_ wanted to see her in that lingerie and, most importantly, slowly taking off said lingerie. He sighed, feeling a spark of desire wash over him from thinking about it.

Kakashi suddenly had a great idea to wake them up a bit. Sitting up on his elbows, he turned to her and cupped a hand to his ear. "What was that you said, Sakura?"

Her head poked up from the sheets and turned to look at him like he was crazy. "I didn't say anything…"

"No, no, I think you said you wanted to take a shower together."

"…"

"Splendid idea. Yes, you're right. It will save water and time."

She narrowed her eyes with a grin. "You're _so_ funny."

Kakashi smiled and slowly sat up to kneel on the bed and turned to her to pull her up. "No time to waste."

Sakura chuckled and slid off the bed as she was pulled to the bathroom. She couldn't help but smile at the mischievous grin Kakashi had once he pulled the scarf from around his face. Folding her arms, she tried to best to look unamused. "I didn't agree to your little shower."

"Hey now, it was your idea…"

"You mean _your_ idea. I didn't even say anything."

"Now, now. It doesn't matter whose idea it is. It's a great idea."

"Hum, I suppose it is…" Smiling, she sidestepped around him and opened the shower to get the water running. Closing the shower door, she turned to him and placed her hands at his hips to toy with the hem of his shirt. "Oh, let me help you with that…"

Slowly, she pulled up his shirt, leading a trail of kisses from his lean stomach up towards his chest until his shirt was completely removed. Tossing it to the stool beside them, she encircled her tongue briefly around his nipple.

"I think you need help, too," he murmured and pulled her shirt up to discard it to the pile of clothing forming beside them.

He leaned over and began to kiss along her neck as he pulled her close to his chest. His hands smoothed along her spine and slipped a hand inside her jeans to caress her butt underneath her panties. Sakura undid the zipper of her pants that Kakashi finished removing. She quickly undid his jeans, and then pulled them down to add to the pile of clothing.

Kakashi circled his thumbs around the waistband of her panties and pulled them down gradually until they fell past her knees to the floor. She moved her hands along the inside of his thigh and over his groin before she began to tug down his boxers. After he stepped out of them, he slowly edged them towards the shower, letting her enter inside first. He followed and closed the shower door behind him with a click.

Moving into the shower stream, Sakura quickly doused herself in warm water, running her hands teasingly across her body as the water fell into her hair and over her curves.

"Can you ever _not_ look incredibly sexy?" Kakashi commented. He moved closer to slide his hands across her stomach and up over her breasts.

"I could try..." She crossed her eyes at him with a laugh.

"Still sexy."

"Really?"

"In a very… special kind of way. _Really_ special."

She laughed and smacked his behind. "Mean."

"I'm never mean," he whined, slowly pushing her against the steamy tile of the shower. He bent down and licked along a trail of water that ran over her chest and sucked hungrily at a nipple. She grunted at the force as he continued his hard sucks at her skin, rising up towards to the top of her breast. He lingered there for a moment before finally releasing her skin from his lips with a pop.

"Hey!" she protested, looking down at the dark red hickey mark he left on her pale skin.

"No one will see it except me, unless you're going to be wearing a bikini top during winter or something…"

"Well, that's true… You better let me give you a hickey, too. It's only fair."

He smiled. "Fine."

Sakura immediately began to suck at his nipple, swirling her tongue around it while she edged her hands below his waist. She teased her fingers at his manhood for a moment, slowly massaging his sensitive mound of flesh making him grunt and groan. Her mouth dipped lower to his toned abs. She started to make hard sucks along his stomach, making sweet pop sounds, as if an octopus's tentacle was slowly being peeled away from him as she went along. Before long she murmured, "Perfect!"

His eyes shot down wondering what exactly she was talking about, until he saw multiple red marks along his stomach. Sakura held back a laugh as she distanced herself, slipping her fingers up from his groin to his abdomen, tracing the outline of her handiwork.

Looking more closely at the formation of the marks that were placed on his stomach, he blinked a couple of times before realizing it was shaped into a smiley face. "Sakura!"

"What?" she asked with a snicker.

"…"

"Don't give me that look, Kakashi. You said I could make hickeys."

"Hickey. Not hickeys shaped into an embarrassing smiley face…"

"But I like it… and I'll only see it, right?"

"…"

"See? Now don't make a fuss. It's cute. Now I'll always smile extra big when you strip off your shirt."

"…"

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at his blank expression.

"Let me give _you_ a couple more hickeys then," he said, making a grab for her waist.

She slipped past his hands and moved to the other side of the shower. "No, no. I'm good."

"It's only fair…" He made a grab for her again, this time pinning her against the wall.

Squirming against his grip, she frowned until she finally gave in to having a matching hickey set of a smiley face on her stomach. When he was finished he laughed at her sour expression. "You look really funny like that. Sad face with a happy face on your stomach."

"…"

"Come on, turn that frown upside down."

"…"

"Come onnnn," he pleaded, tugging at her lips with kisses. She finally smiled before she began returning them.

Kissing him with a bit more force, she moved him towards the spray of water behind them and hungrily clamored for his tongue with hers. Sucking up the fresh water that ran down the stubble his cheek, she kissed along his neck and down across his chest.

"No more hickey faces please," he said, feeling her lips go down along his stomach.

"What about… around here?" Hesitantly at first, she licked along the top edge of his groin area making a warm sensation flare up inside him.

"Um, well, maybe…"

"Here?" She kissed lower to the base of his manhood, dropping to her knees.

"Uh…" He tensed in anticipation of what exactly she was planning on doing with that devious mouth of hers.

She trailed her kisses towards his tip while she held him in place with a hand. Slowly, she began to lick around him in seductive circles and stopped for a moment to say, "Maybe here?"

"Y-yes." It was the only word he could manage stutter out in surprise. His breath hitched as he felt her envelop him in her hot mouth. She sucked softly at first, before increasingly becoming harder. Kneading him with her other hand, she took him in as far as she could before stroking him with her mouth. He felt the vibration of a moan from her along his length.

"Fuck," he muttered, clutching his eyes tight at the incredible feeling. The shy moans she was making was already about to push him over the edge. He started to tentatively jerk into her sucks, failing to fight back a groan. The bobs of her mouth picked up in pace, sucking him harder with each pass.

"S-Sakura," he moaned. She felt so amazing. He couldn't remember the last time he ever had a blow job feel this fucking intense.

Sakura tried to stop herself from grinning at his moans and tried to just focus on pleasuring him for all the times he had done the same to her. She was beyond happy she could have this kind of effect on him, not thinking it was possible. She didn't think reading all those sex tips out of boredom from women's magazines would actually come in handy. Experimenting with different angles of her mouth, she found one that was most comfortable as she continued to pump her lips around him, sucking and pressing her tongue around him at the same time.

"S-Sakura… I'm going to… A-ah." He felt her increase her strokes before he could finish his warning. His body exploded into her mouth, making him groan in pleasure and he watched her swallow every last bit of him before removing her soft, wet lips around him. He shuddered, still feeling his orgasm rock through his body like a wave. He watched her lick her lips as she stood up. He kissed along her neck and across her jaw before claiming her mouth with his.

Kakashi sucked in a breath. "That… was amazing. Seriously. I'm _still_ hard, Sakura."

She smiled, hiding a blush against his neck. "Oh, really? I couldn't tell," she joked.

He groaned while he started to nibble along her ear and whispered huskily, "You have no idea how bad I want to take you right now."

"Why don't you?" she teased.

"If that wouldn't result in little Kakashi's running around, I would… So, until you get birth control…" He turned off the shower and started to pick her up.

"AH! Hey! What do you think you're doing?"

"Um, I'm going to have my way with you. Obviously," he scoffed.

Kakashi hoisted her bridal style into his arms and exited the shower. She squealed in fear and gripped her hands against his wet back as they moved into the bedroom. He was about to toss on her the bed.

"Kakashi!"

He stopped. "…Yes?"

"We'll get the bed wet."

"Oh, you're right. Sorry." He started to put her on the floor. "Kakashi!"

He couldn't help but laugh. " _Yes?_ "

"...Not on the floor."

"But it's kinky…"

"…"

"Fine. Have it your way, but you're missing out."

He moved her on top of one the plush couches in the room and kissed her briefly along her neck, giving her a small taste of what was to come as he broke away making her moan. She folded her arms over her chest, feeling chilly as he went quickly to one of the dresser drawers for his stashed box of condoms.

Deciding to have fun at his expense, she hushed a laugh to herself at her plan and then tried to look serious. "Kakashi."

He turned to look at her. "…Yes?"

"It's cold." She pretended to shudder.

"I'll warm you up."

"But… your wet hair is going to drip all over me."

"You'll forget about it. Trust me." He turned back around.

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"Maybe we should move to the bed."

"Mm, okay."

He approached her about to pick her up. "Ah! Wait. I changed my mind. Here is fine."

"Wherever is fine with me." He started to kiss her throat.

"Kakashi."

He halted. "…Yes?"

"I think I do want to go on the bed after all."

"…"

He picked her up with a grunt, wondering how this suddenly turned into the most difficult lay ever.

"Wait, wait, wait."

"…"

He heard her fight back a snicker against his ear, realizing she was toying with him. "Okay. That's it you damn tease. Now, I'm going to make you beg for it."

Sakura's cheeks flushed. "W-what?"

He tossed her on the bed which made her bounce once and climbed on top of her. He dominated her with feverish kisses all over her body, and then sucked at the valley between her breasts. She started to slide her hands over his chest, but he stopped her hands to pin them above her. He licked between the damp strands of hair that were slicked against her neck and went upwards to her jaw. He hastily began to nip at her lips.

"Kakas-Mm!"

She was cut off as he invaded with his tongue to explore every crevice in her mouth. Finding it more of a turn on than anything as he refused to let her even respond, she felt almost helpless as she felt his groin pressed against her wet center, making her arch her back.

"A-ah," she murmured, trying to press herself even more into him. To her disappointment, he moved his hips back. Kissing at her breasts now, he molded his hands around each one before squeezing while he sucked at pink, hardened nipples. Her heart hammered as he trailed his tongue down her stomach in one lick until he reached her sensitive bud. He flicked it furiously with his tongue.

"Kakashi," she cried in a hushed moan.

He stopped and began to circle his tongue around her intimate folds. Using two fingers, he widened his access to her and explored around her slowly, savoring the taste with each suck he made. She groaned, almost stunned at the powerful effect of need he had on her. Her hips bucked in desperation, wanting more, which only prompted him to stop. She was about to whine before she felt his fingers begin to slide against her in strokes. His mouth began to wander over her body again. She swore each kiss he placed was setting fire against her nerves. He traced over the hickeys he gave her earlier with his lips, and she could feel him smile as he went along the pattern. The sharp stubble of his cheek almost made it unbearable across her skin, but at the same time the kisses and hard sucks made it a mix of pain and pleasure.

Sakura's breaths began to shorten the longer and faster he began sliding his fingers over her spot. She was so close to finding release. The moment she was about to teeter off the edge he stopped. "Ka-kashi," she uttered in annoyance.

"Something the matter?" he asked, not hiding back the amusement in his voice.

She felt him enter a set of fingers inside her, making her gasp. She frowned in frustration of needing to feel more as she tried to roll her hips into his hand. He backed off not giving her the desired friction she wanted. "Please, Kakashi."

"Tell me what you need, baby."

"I need you." She moaned at feeling his fingers again. He seriously wasn't kidding when he said he was going to make her beg. God, there was so only much she could take at this point. "Please… take me," she pleaded again. Her heart skipped a beat hearing the tear of the wrapper. The anticipation was driving her crazy as she held in a breath.

Once he was ready he pressed his groin against her. "How bad do you want it?" he whispered in her ear, sending a chill down her spine.

Sakura mentally cursed, he was still going to torture her. He was so cruel. "Really badly," she groaned.

"Is that so?" he asked casually.

"Please… I…"

"Hum?"

"I can't take it anymore, Kakas-mmfph," she let out a muffled moan, feeling his tip enter her. Her hips rose eagerly to meet his until he filled her completely. A familiar burn hit her at first until he slid out of her slowly. Then he entered her again and again, making the small pain turn into pure pleasure.

"H-harder," she muttered.

He pulled out almost completely making her upset at first before he slammed into her in a deep thrust.

"Ahh! Yes," she breathed, arching back into the sheets. He slammed into her again with the same force making her moan once more. "God, yes. Faster."

Kakashi obliged, thrusting as deep and hard as he could. He pounded into her effortlessly inside her wet walls. She scratched her nails along his back, trying not to get too overwhelmed by how fast he plunged within her.

"Sakura," he moaned as he continued his pace. She cried out his name as an orgasm hit her that shook throughout her whole body. He didn't stop his relentless thrusts until he repositioned her legs to rest on shoulders. He dug his fingers along her inner thighs, completely lost in the feeling of her as he mindlessly pumped into her without stopping.

"Ka-ka-shi." She whimpered from the intense pleasure she felt before crashing into another orgasm. He kissed along her knee before he finally found his own sweet release. He almost fell completely on top of her in exhaustion, but managed to prop himself on his elbows as they both heaved, trying to catch their breaths.

"Um…" Sakura started to say between breaths, but seemed to be having trouble formulating any real words. She winced in pleasure feeling him pull out from her.

Kakashi smiled at her beautiful green eyes staring up at him. "I love you, too," he said in a random attempt of guessing what she was going to say. She smiled brightly as he fell beside her.

Curling into his chest, she took in a shaky breath. "Okay, I… I think I can talk now. Yes, I love you and that was _amazing_."

He laughed. "Ah, so you can speak." She flicked her index finger into his stomach making a tap sound. "Ow… always so violent."

Sakura smirked before further snuggling into him. He rubbed along her skin at the goosebumps that were forming along her arm from the cold. After a moment, he pulled them up towards the head of the bed to slip under the blankets. She pointed sleepily at where they were before they moved. "See? Now we've made the bed wet."

"It will dry at some point, silly."

She mumbled something inaudible before wrapping her arms around him. Only after few minutes, did they both fall asleep in each other's arms.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hum. Not sure how I feel about this chapter, but it came out a bit longer than I anticipated. *blames sexblivion - which is the name for this whole France arch thing* =p
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo) <3


	26. Après la Pluie, le Beau Temps

**Chapter 26: Après la Pluie, le Beau Temps**

Kakashi stared with apprehension at Sakura at first before leaning over the edge of the thin wall of the rink. Glancing at all the various people skating around in circles he said, "How about I watch you first?"

She sighed, figuring he was stalling for time and waved her fingers at him. "Just come here. I'll help you."

"I, um…."

"Kakashi…"

"…Yes?"

"Are you scared?"

"Ha. Me? Scared of what?" He glanced at the ice hesitantly.

"Then come out here."

"But... I want to see how you do it first."

She sighed. "Fine."

Sakura pushed off from the wall separating them and joined the flow of people skating. His eyes never left her and he admired how effortless she made it look. She made one pass around the center before halting in front of Kakashi with her arms crossed. "Satisfied? Now come out here and try."

He sighed and carefully walked, trying to balance on the thin metal blades of his skates to the open gate to the rink. Slowly, he stepped on the ice while clinging to the wall, half afraid to let go. He felt so ridiculous.

"Keep your back straight and bend your knees. Use your arms for balance."

Kakashi nodded and slowly released his fingers from the wall and made one push with his foot. He wobbled a bit, but rebalanced himself. Sakura held him at his side at first before letting go again. "Just keep gliding one foot at a time until you get the hang of it," she said.

He pushed off with one foot again, but this time more forcefully, making him slide a good distance before gradually coming to a stop. He watched in disdain as a boy, who looked like he was around the age of ten, began to skate backwards in circles around him. The little kid grinned up at him brightly before bolting off to speed skate around the rink.

"Brat," Kakashi muttered under his breath.

Sakura skated in front of him and held out her arms. He grasped her hands and sighed. "I need a break."

She started to skate backwards while pulling him gently. "You've only been out here for thirty seconds."

He groaned. "I don't wanna fall."

She gave an assuring smile. "Everybody falls, don't worry. Just have fun. Oh, but if you do fall make sure you clutch your fists so no one around you accidentally slices your fingers off."

"…"

How could she say that so easily with a smile? Trying to remind himself it was for the sake of lingerie, he started to push off the ice again and slowly rounded the corner. Bracing himself a bit, he felt a bit more comfortable before letting her hands go. She skated slowly beside him and watched while trying to offer helpful pointers. He decided this really wasn't as bad as he thought. Filling up with a bit more confidence, he started to skate a bit faster.

"See? Easy."

"So far so good."

Sakura grinned and held his hand as they slowly drifted between various groups of people. Night had fallen not too long ago. Earlier in the day they had checked out a couple more well renowned museums in Paris and The Notre Dame Cathedral. He had to beg Sakura for them to see the Le Musée des Égouts de Paris - The Paris Sewer Museum. He was mostly curious about the engineering aspect behind it which had always been fascinating to him. She wasn't too fond of the smell or how dark and dreary it was, but she did find a few things that were interesting as much as she claimed to hate it. Afterwards, she made them go back to the hotel so she could take a shower. She claimed she'd never feel clean again from accidentally touching one of the grime covered walls in the sewer.

Now, they were at the public ice skating rink which was in front of an old historic building that used to be a town hall. Its handcrafted exterior was decorated in twinkling white Christmas lights. Kakashi looked towards Sakura for a moment, admiring how beautiful she looked against the blur of lights as the wind rustled through her hair. Her eyes found his and she shyly smiled at him. He loved it when she smiled. It really did make it seem like the world around him was just a little brighter. He squeezed her hand and returned an eye crinkle of a smile.

Every day they had spent together so far in France had certainly been a blast. Never had he ever done anything like this before or ever dreamed of ever finding a kind of love like this. It was amazing how much of his life had changed in just a matter of months, all thanks to her. He finally had someone else to live for and not just for himself.

He decided long ago to just do something with his life. Learn all that he could and contribute it back through teaching. That at least somehow or in someway it would make a difference. He wasn't sure where he would have been now if it wasn't for martial arts growing up. That was one of the reasons why he chose to become a teacher. It was his only outlet at the time that helped him live with the misery of his home life. His uncle only allowed it as a convenient excuse to explain the various bruises he would constantly get over the years.

Kakashi sighed, trying to shake off his drifting thoughts. This wasn't the time to think about the past. What was important now was the future, which he very much looked forward to. He squeezed Sakura's hand once more.

She smiled and hugged his arm briefly. "So, ready to learn a quadruple axel?"

"Now you're just trying to kill me."

Sakura stuck her tongue out in response. Suddenly, the little boy from earlier darted out in front of them, making Kakashi swing his hips trying to avoid crashing into him. Losing his balance, he fell hard into the ground. He sighed and shot the kid a dirty look as he slid across the frigid ice on his butt.

Sakura rushed over to him and helped him back up. "You okay?"

"Yeah… stupid kid." His eyes glanced back over at the boy who was picking up something from the ice. It was a very familiar looking book. Puzzled, Kakashi reached around to his back pocket to find nothing there. His book must have fallen out when he fell. The kid started to flip through and stopped on a page which made his eyes go wide. Kakashi had a good idea which illustration he must had stumbled on. Suddenly, the boy started to skate off.

Sakura watched in bemusement. "Wow, I think he's stealing your porn, Kakashi."

"Like hell he is."

Kakashi sighed, almost not believing this was happening. There was no way he was going to let some ten year-old steal his precious, limited edition Icha Icha book. He started to skate after the kid, fumbling a bit trying to pick up speed. Sakura sped past him and made a grab for the book, but missed as the kid spun out of her grasp. Kakashi decided to cut across the center of the rink in hopes of cutting the boy off, and raced across as fast as he could. His fingers narrowly missed grabbing the book's spine as the kid weaved around him. The thought didn't occur to him until it was too late. He had no idea how to stop.

"Fuck," he muttered, bracing his hands as he crashed into the wall. The momentum had forced him to flip over the railing and fall right into a bush. Staring up into the night's sky, he folded his arms and huffed. Hopefully Sakura didn't just see him eat it.

"Kakashi!"

Or not. Embarrassment flushed his cheeks as she peered over the side looking panicked. "Jesus, Kakashi. You okay?"

"No."

"Are you hurt?"

He started to move his arms before feeling several branches digging into his back and stopped. "I don't want to move to find out."

She let out a worried sigh and turned to look over her shoulder. "I'm going to kick his ass."

"Sakura," he started to say before she disappeared. She really wasn't going to beat up that little brat was she? If so, he really wanted to watch. He slowly began to stand up, picking out branches that scraped up against his back underneath his jacket, and held himself up onto the railing. Readjusting the scarf around his face, his eyes scanned for pink hair across the crowd. He found her. She had his book in her hand and was slapping the kid in the head with it a couple of times. Kakashi couldn't help but laugh and feel rather proud.

Sakura skated back towards him looking a bit flustered. "You really okay?"

"I'm fine. That was pretty hilarious to watch by the way."

"Well, I have to defend my man's porn," she teased.

"For the last time, it's _romance_."

She smiled and looked into his book. "I don't know. This picture looks like porn to me."

"It's art."

"Porn."

"Art."

Clearing her throat, she muttered as a whisper, "Porn."

Kakashi sighed with a small smile and pulled himself up and over the wall. Once he was settled on the ice again, Sakura dusted off his jacket and removed a couple of twigs and leaves from his hair. She started to pull up his jacket. He swatted her hand away. "Hey, hey, I'm fine."

"Did you get cut? Let me see."

"Trust me, I'm fine," he tried to assure. His back stung like hell, but the last thing he wanted was her to worry over just a few harmless scratches.

She sighed and handed him back his book. "Well, okay. So, did you wanna keep skating or maybe we should do something else?"

"Well… Have I earned it to see you in that lingerie tonight yet?" He looked at her hopefully.

"We didn't get to skate for too long, but I feel sorry for you not only having your porn-"

"Romance," he interjected.

"Whatever you like to call it stolen, but you wiped out pretty badly…"

He gave her a sad puppy dog look with his eyes and frowned.

"Ugh. I hate you. Fine…" She pulled out another twig from his hair. "What do you want to do now?"

Smiling beneath his scarf quite happily, he started to pull at her hand and started skating towards the exit of the rink.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Château. Must. See. Lingerie. Now."

Rolling her eyes she tugged at his arm. "Shouldn't we eat somewhere first if we're going back?"

Damn. It was true they hadn't eaten dinner yet, but he wanted to see her so badly. Last night he even dreamed about what she would possibly be wearing. The anticipation was going to kill him. "How about… fast food?"

She laughed. "You're really in that much of a hurry to see me?"

"You have no idea."

"It won't kill you to wait a little longer, will it? Can't we have something nice? We did travel all this way… and you did _force me_ to see that disgusting sewer museum of yours."

He groaned knowing she was right. "Okay."

After they unlaced their ice skates and swapped them for their own shoes, they returned them back to the rental area.

"Let's see what we can find along the river. It's down this way, isn't it?" She pointed enthusiastically.

He chuckled. "Yes, let's go that way then."

Sakura clasped his hand as they walked down the street until they reached along the Seine River. They had walked along the river before in another area, but she could never get enough of how beautiful it looked, especially at night like it was right now. The river boats floated peacefully down the waterway surrounded by the glowing lights of the city. It just made it so tranquil. In the distance, you could see the Eiffel Tower. It dawned on her they still hadn't visited it yet and their trip was going to be over soon.

"So, when are we going to see the Eiffel Tower?"

"I was wondering when you'd finally mention it. I was beginning to think you didn't want to see it," he teased.

"Oh?"

"There's two restaurants in the tower and one in particular that I wanted us to go to. Apparently it takes months in advance to make a reservation, but I managed to get us in for tomorrow actually."

"How did you manage that?"

"It doesn't matter _how_ …"

Sakura looked at him questionably.

"Fine. Lots of blackmail and lies."

She sighed. "Sad thing is that I believe you."

He smiled. "There's a dress code, so we'll need to wear something kind of dressy."

"I don't have any nice dresses with me."

"We'll find something early tomorrow."

"Are you ever going to get tired of spoiling me like this?"

"Nope."

She grinned as they walked comfortably in silence for awhile until they reached a nice looking district. "Oh, how about that restaurant?"

"No matter to me. Let's hurry." He started to pull her faster down the sidewalk.

"Because you're _so hungry_ and nothing else like silly lingerie is motivating you?"

"A man can only take so much teasing."

"Oh, that so?" She was grinning to herself at a terrible, terrible devious plan.

"What's that smile about?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"Maybe. You'll just have to find out later."

"Now I'm afraid."

"Let's just enjoy our dinner until then."

They were both surprised to find how beautiful and romantic the inside of the restaurant was. The walls were made up of a cream-colored wood paneling with a gold trim which matched the golden frames of the artworks that were hung up. The cove ceiling above them also had beautiful detailing of gold at each corner of the room. Most of the circular dining tables were small and intimate, but were comfortable enough for two.

"I swear every random place we find is always so extravagant," Sakura commented after they sat down.

"I think you just have an eye for picking the most expensive place in the area."

"I do not!"

"Clearly, you do."

She pouted. "I don't try to!"

"Sure, sure," he said with a laugh at how defensive she was.

"What does this one say?" she asked and pointed to the menu.

He leaned over and laughed again. "Of course you pick the most expensive thing on the menu…"

"…"

She flinched and pulled the menu away to look over the price. "No it's not."

"I was joking."

"Ugh." She glared at him before reluctantly showing him the menu again to have him help translate. Once she decided on something she added, "No lingerie if you make me get any weird dishes again. I'm dead serious."

He frowned and looked over his menu. "Okay, then you'll want to change your order."

"I thought you said it was just chicken?"

"It's chicken and squid."

"I hate you…"

"Least I'm telling you before we ordered. Aren't I nice?"

"No. You just want lingerie."

"Does that make me a bad person?"

"It makes you a pervert."

"And I admit it. There. Now we have that all out in the open."

"It was obvious that you were from the very beginning."

"I guess this means you love perverts?"

"Just you, silly. Pervert or not."

Kakashi grinned at that. After they placed their orders he got them a bottle of wine to share. Nibbling at the fresh bread on their table he cleared his throat. "Oh, yeah. Have I earned enough points to get my Christmas present yet?"

She swirled the wine in her glass before sipping and making a humming sound. "You're still at negative three points."

"You can't be serious. Still?"

"Well, forcing me to look at a sewer set you back again."

"It wasn't _that_ bad. I thought it was rather romantic, too."

"Romantic?"

"It was dark and… cozy in there."

"It was wet and it smelled."

"That was the smell of man's hardship and sweat building an underappreciated complex system people take for granted."

"Pff. The things you make up. I swear..."

"Fine. Then you're not getting my present either."

Her eyes immediately lit up. "Oh? You got me something?"

"Of course."

"What is it?"

"Like I'm going to tell you."

"Please?"

"No. I'm going to force you to wait forever like you're forcing me."

"Then I'll just wear that lingerie tomorrow then."

"Hey, that's not fair…"

"Life isn't fair. So, tomorrow it is then."

"Wait, wait… I'll give you a hint."

"Okay, which is what?"

He thought for a moment, scratching his chin beneath his scarf. "Banana."

"That's your hint?"

"Yep."

She glared.

"What?"

"That's not much of a hint."

He shrugged. "Too bad, so sad."

Sakura scowled at him.

Kakashi pretended she wasn't glaring at him and smiled. "I love you," he said sweetly.

She sighed before breaking into a smile. "I love you, too."

Once they were finished eating their dinners, Sakura wanted dessert, much to the sadness of Kakashi. He wanted to leave already, but indulged her in ordering a dish for them to share. He watched her as she took a small bite from the chocolate mousse cake placed between them.

"Mmmm. So good," she said with a quiet moan. She licked the fork rather suggestively and flicked her mischievous green eyes upwards at him.

Kakashi stared, almost choking on the piece he just bit into. "Is that how you always eat cake?"

"Yep, but normally I eat it in nothing but my panties at home." She winked at him with her obvious lie.

He couldn't stop the vision from invading his mind, but pushed back his thoughts to compose himself. "…I see what you're doing and it's not going to work."

"What am I doing?"

"You're teasing me… and you know how bad I want to leave right now."

"You do? Oh, I wouldn't have ordered dessert if I would have known."

"Liar."

She took another forkful of fluffy chocolate cake. " _Mmmmmm_."

His spine tingled at hearing that small moan of hers. "Why are you doing this?"

"Eating cake?" she asked innocently.

"Torturing me."

"Not sure what you mean." She dabbed her index finger in the frosting and licked it, making another small moan, which was a little louder this time making a few stares look their way. "Mmmm."

"Shhh."

"I love cake. Can't I express my love for cake?"

"Not if you're going to make a scene and give me a damn hard on."

"Well, it's not like I'll ever see these people again. I don't care." She took another bite and moaned again.

"Fucking… damn it," he muttered and tried to look away.

"Are you blushing, Kakashi?"

"No."

"Let me see your face…"

"No."

"Just admit I've finally made you blush."

He readjusted his scarf and slinked down into his chair, crossing his arms. "I don't blush."

"Then why are you hiding your face again?"

"I'm done eating."

"Look at all this cake left… I can't finish it on my own."

"Then it goes to waste."

"Fine. I'll try and eat the rest." She licked her lips slowly before taking another bite and omitting a louder moan from before.

Kakashi slid further in his chair from the stares around them and sighed. He waved the waiter over and gave him his card to pay for their bill while muttering in French for him to hurry.

"Mmmmmmmm."

"You're killing me, Sakura."

"Well, then eat this cake _on_ me."

He blinked, wondering if he just heard right. "What…?"

"Eat cake _with_ me."

"…"

Another groan escaped her lips. "Mmmm. Oh, God. This chocolate is just so amazing."

He placed a hand beneath his chin on the table and glared at her, which made her smile all the more. Tapping his fingers against the table impatiently, he tried very hard not to be effected by her moans. After the waiter came back with the receipt for him to sign, he immediately stood up. "Let's go."

"I'm not done yet."

"Yes, you are." He grabbed her hand to pull her up from the chair and ushered them outside.

Sakura shivered from the blast of cold that greeted them. "Why are you in such a hurry, Kakashi?" she asked with a laugh.

"I'm trying really hard not to pull you into that dirty alleyway over there and have my way with you. Careful what you say."

Sakura pouted at him and remained silent as they entered the cab. He could have sworn it was the most agonizing and longest drive of his life. By the time they made it inside the lobby of the château, he had to stop himself from running in the lobby until they were in the hallway. He pulled her behind him at a speeding pace.

"Kakashi!" she gasped with a laugh, struggling not to fall behind him.

After they were in the elevator, he pinned her against the wall and pulled down his scarf to kiss her neck. "You're very talented at driving me crazy."

"Mm, that so?" she mumbled back in response before kissing him back eagerly. He started to kiss at her lips, tasting that menacing chocolate cake.

When the elevator's doors opened to their floor, they both stumbled into the hall still kissing each other senselessly until they found their way to their room's door. She wasn't sure how, but he managed to unlock it effortlessly without stopping kissing her.

Shutting the door behind them, he unzipped her jacket and let it fall to the floor, then shook off his coat as they moved further and further to the bed. Once they were at the edge of the bed, he pushed her delicately to fall backwards and began to unzip her pants.

"I thought you wanted me to wear that lingerie?"

Tugging her pants off he replied, "I can't wait any longer thanks to your damn moaning."

"Awe, but I was looking forward to wearing it for you."

He groaned. "And I really, really want to see it."

"Let me change into it."

"But I want you right now." He pulled her long-sleeved sweater up and over her head, trailing kisses along her chest, then tossed her shirt to the floor.

She placed a knee into his chest, pushing him back with a grin. "You can wait five more seconds."

He paused.

Sakura looked at him strangely wondering what he was going to do. She sucked in a deep inhale to calm her beating heart down.

"Okay, that was five seconds." He pushed her knee aside and leaned down into her chest, slipping his tongue beneath her bra.

"Ah, Kakashi… I- I'll never wear it if you don't let me do it now."

He sighed and forced himself to pull away, falling beside her on the bed. "Okay, go change now before I can't stop myself any longer. You have three seconds to get away. Three… Two…"

She bolted from the bed as he playfully made a grab for her, his fingers slipping past her waist. Casting him a flirty look, she disappeared into the bathroom with the shopping bag that had the outfit he desperately wanted to see.

Kakashi wasted no time stripping off the rest of his clothes until he was only in his boxers. He tried to mentally prepare himself to not immediately strip off whatever outfit she was going to wear. His mind changed the second she stepped out of the bathroom.

Shyly, she appeared from the doorway looking embarrassed at first before becoming more confident as she modeled a pose for him. "So, what you think?"

"…"

He couldn't formulate words as she did a slow spin. Every curve of her body was shown off from the skin-tight fabric. The mesh sides were sheer, revealing a small morsel of skin he definitely wanted to taste with his mouth right now. The fabric slipped down far enough to reach over her panties which he could see through the sides. She was wearing such tiny, tiny easily removable black lacy panties. He never cared much for stockings, but absolutely loved how they looked hooked against her long, luscious legs. He wanted to feel exactly how silky they were against his hands.

"It must be terrible if you're speechless," she teased.

"Hardly. You're fucking sexy as hell. Come here before I lose it," he said with a smile.

"Hum… Maybe I should model it a bit more for you, before you tear it off."

Sakura did another pose and slowly dragged a hand from her stockings up along her waist and over her breasts. Her eyes never left his as she traced her fingers along the top of a breast.

"I think you've modeled it well enough. Here. Now."

"Hum… Nope."

She leaned her back into the closed door and shook her pink strands of hair off to one side, revealing her bare neck. Her fingers slowly ran across her hair and down her neck until she reached between her thighs. She pressed her hand between her legs and moaned softly as if she was eating that damn chocolate cake all over again.

He let out a disgruntled sigh, feeling himself becoming even harder.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a grin.

"Come here before I lose my mind."

"Say please."

He narrowed his eyes with a smirk. "Please."

"Please… what?"

" _Please_ come here."

Sakura smiled and slowly made her way to the bed. Once she was his front of him she pushed him back into sheets and straddled him. He began to slide his hands around her waist.

"Un-uh." She grabbed his hands and pinned them beside him.

"You're really trying to torture me, aren't you?"

"Obviously."

"I was being nice the other night making you beg. I can be far, far worse if you keep this up."

"Is that so?"

"Unless that's _exactly_ what you want."

A blush grew at her cheeks. "N-no."

"Yes it is. You love to beg for it. Admit it."

"No! I'm just paying you back for all the times you teased me relentlessly."

"Uh-huh. Anyway, you can't stop me from touching you. Your plan was doomed to fail from the start." He rubbed his hands up along her silky stockings up to the top of her thighs.

She swatted his hands away again. "Don't make me…"

"Make you what?" he asked, intrigued. Again, he moved his hands to touch her except this time up the smooth fabric of her back.

She sighed. "You're right. I can't stop you." She moved her hands to the top of his bare chest and dragged them down to his stomach and snickered. "I almost forgot about your hickey smiley face."

He pouted. "Which hopefully will fade away soon."

"Awe, we can't have that happen."

She bent down and began to suck over her markings on his stomach.

"No, no." He moved her head by her shoulders away from his stomach. Casting his hands out of the way, she began to suck once more. "Sakura, I don't want those marks to last forever."

Unable to move her again, he turned into the bed on his stomach to make her stop. She straddled him again, sitting on his lower back and began to massage his shoulders. "Awe, but it's cute…"

"N-no it's not," he said unable to hold back a groan from her circulating fingers into his muscle. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying each movement of her hands. "Mm, where'd you learn how to massage like that?"

"It's magic."

"Hum… I believe it. It feels like magic."

Sakura laughed and started to massage him with just one hand, then bent over and started to work her elbow into his lower back. Slowly, very slowly, she undid the suspenders of her garter belt to one of her stockings.

Kakashi loved whatever she was doing and was enjoying how he could feel the lace of her outfit sliding up and down against his back. He took in a deep, relaxing breath. The need of wanting to touch her came over him again. That outfit of hers needed to come off already before he started to go insane with need. He started to turn around, but she pinned him back down again with her knee and pulled his hands together at his lower back.

His heart jumped as he felt something being wrapped around his wrists. A few whoosh sounds were made as he felt his hands bind snugly together. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing in particular."

He tried to move his hands and was shocked to find he couldn't move them at all. Even when he started to apply his strength it proved to be useless. All it did was create a burn against his skin from rubbing against whatever fabric was around him.

Sakura pulled at his shoulder to flip him around. She straddled him at his hips with the smuggest look on her face. "Guess you can't touch me now, hum?"

He stared at her blankly and noted one of her stockings was missing. "Okay… I have to ask how in the hell did you tie me in such an impossible knot?" He struggled to move his arms again, but they were so tightly bound together he couldn't do anything.

She grinned. "Magic."

"…"

Raising a brow at her, he groaned as she grinded her hips into him. "Was this your plan all along?"

"Mm-hum."

"I'm not sure if I should be proud or scared."

His breath hitched as she grinded into him again. She still had the biggest grin on her face as his eyes locked with hers. He wanted to touch her so badly. It was downright painful at this point. "S-sakura. Untie me."

"Maybe tomorrow morning."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

She began to kiss along his chest and lap her tongue around his hardened nipple. He struggled against his bindings again and squirmed as her feather light kisses went across his stomach.

"Fuck, Sakura _please_ untie me. This is beyond kinky, but I need you so badly since forever ago."

"You'll just have to wait longer."

He groaned in despair. "No, no, no."

"You're gonna have to beg for it then."

" _Never_ have I begged for anyone."

"I'll be the first," she teased.

"I can admit you're the only person worth begging for."

"Glad you feel that way," she replied with a devious smile. She flicked her tongue across his stomach once more and along the shallow valleys of toned muscle of his abs. Moving herself lower, she began to kiss over his boxers and along his length. He made a desperate groan.

"Please… I want to feel you," he uttered.

"Oh, I don't know." She tapped her fingers lightly over his groin making his bulge twitch beneath.

"Please, please, please?"

"Well, since you are asking rather nicely…"

She pulled down the band of his boxers and slowly tugged them down to his thighs. He could feel her hot breath at his tip, making him almost want to jerk upwards in hopes of finding her mouth. "Please?" he asked again.

Finally, she began to lick up and down his member. He couldn't hold back a moan feeling her fully take him in her mouth, but was disappointed to find that it didn't last for very long. She sucked hard for a few seconds and made a subtle wet pop sound as she parted her lips from him. He felt so cold and helpless.

"Sakura," he whined, really wanting her to continue. Instead he felt her grind against him once more making him grunt. He could feel the heat from her panties. This was too much to take. "You're really… I just... Don't make me start to grovel here, Sakura," he groaned.

"Tell me what you want," she whispered.

"Me inside you. Now."

"You're not very convincing…"

"…"

Sakura laughed to herself at the pained look he was giving her. Now she really understood why he loved to tease her so much. It was so much fun. She hadn't originally planned to go this far or even thought she could manage to tie him so well with just a stocking. Learning knot tying from a summer camp she went to when she was younger seemed to have paid off. Of course this wasn't the situation she ever thought it would come in handy.

Bending over him again, she kissed along his neck for a moment and felt him began to lick his tongue along her neck. He was thankful to finally taste and feel something of her. He inhaled the sweet mango scent of her body wash. He sucked at her neck before she broke away to capture his lips with hers. Desperately he kissed back, loving every bit of her hot, sweet mouth.

"Please… I'm begging you. I want to… feel every bit inside you," he murmured between kisses.

"Alright," she whispered in his ear, nibbling his earlobe a bit before parting. She un-straddled him for a moment and crawled on all fours across the bed to the side table.

Kakashi finally felt relief that she was going to agree to his wishes as he watched her go across the sheets. It was not helping how incredibly sexy she looked bent over like that. Never had he felt so much need of wanting someone so badly. He was going to make damn sure he repaid her for this. Ten fold. Perhaps not tonight, but he certainly wanted to do something rather special when they got back home. Oh, the things he could do to torture her. The possibilities seemed almost endless.

She returned with a condom in hand and opened the package.

"You know how to put it on correctly, right?" he asked.

"Of course. I've had lots of practice."

"Practice?" he asked confused at first, then narrowed his eyes at her accusingly. "With _who_?"

She glanced at him almost laughing at the jealous tone in his voice. "Why would you think a person? You know you're my first."

"And last."

She smiled warmly at him for a moment and then remembered what she was doing. "Oh, right. I need to be torturing you still." After she finished slowly rolling the condom on him, she straddled him once more.

"Please. No more torture."

"What was that? I think you said _more_ torture."

"Dear God, _no_ ," he groaned. He thrust upwards beneath her, making her moan. He did it once more making her almost topple over him in force and pleasure.

She planted her hands on top of his chest, feeling him press into her again. "Okay! This, a-ah, is unfair," she muttered.

"Hurry up and ride me already," he teased, repeatedly grinding his hips into hers. He made sure to keep doing it until he got his way.

"Y-you have to ask n-nicely."

"If you don't, I'm going to do something drastic."

"Oh? Aah. S-stop humping me damn it."

"You like it."

"That's beside the point. I'm supposed to torture you. Not the other way around."

"Ride me. Now."

"Still haven't asked nicely."

" _Please_ ride me now?"

"Ride… how and where?"

"…"

"I'm joking!"

Kakashi sighed as he watched her unbuckle her other stocking to slip down her panties. She positioned herself on top of him while holding him with one hand and slowly pressed herself down onto his member until he was fully inside her. He wanted to cry out how damn good it felt.

"Ride me," he pleaded. He pressed into her more hoping to edge her on.

Sakura leaned forward and slowly started to move her hips back and forth unsurely at first. She found a comfortable rhythm and began to thrust faster. His breaths began to stagger. He clenched his teeth trying to fight back his much needed climax before she found hers. She felt so amazing and looked so incredibly erotic pumping herself onto him in that outfit. It was almost unbearable not being able to touch her elegant curves hidden beneath the lacy fabric or be able to suck on her rosy nipples, but he could live with it as long as she rode him like this.

She moaned and clutched her eyes tight enjoying the friction between them. Faster and harder she ground herself into him before a familiar sensation started to grow within her. Panting, she went even faster to give her that last push over the edge. "Kakashi," she rasped. A release washed over her making her thrusts stagger as she whimpered from overwhelming pleasure.

"Baby, keep going," he uttered.

Pressing her hips faster against him, she bit her lip trying to hold back from crying out from the amazing sensation that overcame her. She didn't stop rocking against him until he cried out her name from his own release.

"S-Sakura," he groaned, unable to stop himself from jerking within her until he was completely drained. She slowly removed herself and fell beside him fighting to regain her breath. Nudging her body more into him, she moved her head into his now sweat covered chest, and lay against him listening to his heartbeat become steady.

"Now can you untie me?" he asked after a satisfied sigh.

"No."

"…"

She smiled and rose from his chest and looked into his glaring eyes. "I'm joking. Turn to your side." She tugged at the stocking around his hands and seconds later he was free.

He returned to lie on his back and rubbed his reddening wrists. "I hate you."

"I love you," she replied.

"Now then…"

"What…?" She eyed him as he sat up. The look in his eyes made her back away as he moved towards her.

"You can't stop me from touching you now."

"But… but-"

Kakashi silenced her with a kiss. He made damn sure to touch every bit of her, slowly removing every button and every strap of her outfit. They made love again that night.

Their stay in France was already almost half-way over. Kakashi was sad about that realization at first, before reminding himself that as wonderful and romantic that their stay was - it didn't matter where they were as long as they were together.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo) <3


	27. Adieu

**Chapter 27: Adieu**

Kakashi watched Sakura pulled out the tag of the dress she was looking at and suddenly dropped it as if she touched fire.

"Holy crap," she muttered. She turned and pulled his hand to walk immediately out of the store. "These are _way_ too expensive."

Kakashi sighed. "This is the fourth store we've looked… well, glanced at."

"I refuse to wear something worth three months' rent. Ridiculous! Do real people actually buy these?"

"Maybe just robots."

Sakura cast a playful glare at him and sighed. "You've already done so much paying for everything on this trip. I can't wear something that expensive. I really think it's a waste of money for just a tiny piece of fabric."

"Just get what you like and stop looking at the price tags."

Sakura grumbled. He was pretty sure any other woman would have loved to go on a shopping spree, especially in Paris which was considered one of the fashion capitals of the world. He supposed he was lucky that she was like him in a lot of ways - not caring about materialistic designer brand names and all that like his relatives did. The quality didn't matter as much as the brand name did. There was nothing wrong with liking certain designers, but only buying things just to show off their wealth was annoying to him. Normally, he would have only spent what he had earned from various jobs and not use his inheritance, but this trip was his first exception. It was nice just to do something out of the ordinary. Not only that, but it seemed more worthwhile to share it with someone rather than just spend money on himself.

"What about that store?" he asked. It looked like a small clothing shop. Maybe the prices wouldn't be as extravagant as the other trendy looking stores.

"Mm, I suppose we can go look."

Once they entered, she immediately went towards the nearest item to check the price. Kakashi smacked her hand lightly before she could pull out the tag. "Just try some things on first. Else we might be searching forever."

"I don't want anything that's really expensive," she said with a frown.

"Just do me a favor and try on a few things for me, please?"

She sighed and started to shift through the racks. "…Fine."

"Oh, I like this one." Kakashi pulled out a dress that resembled something that might have been shredded with a pair of scissors.

"Please tell me you're joking. That thing has more holes in it than Swiss cheese," she said mockingly. She plucked it from his hand and pressed it against her chest. "Oh my God, if I wore this you could see my underwear."

He smiled. "And… that's why I like it."

"...Pervert."

"We've discussed this already. I've admitted that I am."

"Hopeless pervert," she muttered and placed back the dress.

Wandering through the store a bit, she really couldn't find anything to her liking. She really wanted something simple and everything in the store was far from simple with crazy textures and colors. She sneaked a peek at one of the prices when Kakashi wasn't looking and cringed. These weren't any better than the other stores.

Kakashi held up another dress that was clearly sheer enough to see through. "What about this? It has, um… a nice color?" It looked like a vomit green.

"I hate you. You're just picking out the most horrible ones."

He laughed. "You're wrong. The most provocative ones… that happen to also be ugly."

She sighed. "Let's go find something else."

"Okay."

Stuffing his hands comfortably in his pockets, they walked back out onto the bustling sidewalk. He took in a deep breath of the nippy air around them. The sun was getting close to high noon now. He had no idea how he was managing to stay awake from how late they stayed up last night. Plus he was pretty sore from the ice skating fiasco he really wanted to forget about. He really didn't want to walk around too long today. Sakura, on the other hand, seemed pretty chipper since they woke up this morning. She was clearly a morning person, which was something he would never be. He yawned and made a mental note to buy some coffee before they went back to the château.

Sakura pointed up ahead. "There's a men's store over there. Want to see if we can find you something?"

"Sure. It will only take me five seconds to find something, unlike someone I know."

She huffed. "Guys are simple to shop for."

"Uh-huh."

"You know it's true."

Once they were inside, they were immediately greeted by a salesman and asked if he could help them find anything in particular. Kakashi said a few words in French and the clerk immediately rushed off into the aisles and started to pick out a few items. Sakura waited outside the dressing room for him to try on everything. She didn't have to wait for too long.

"See? Five seconds," Kakashi said as he emerged from the dressing room. He had a few clothes tucked away under his arm. He pulled Sakura up from the chair and started to walk to the register.

She frowned at the clothes he had folded together. "Awe, I was hoping you'd show me what you picked out."

"I know how bad you want to see how sexy I look, but you'll just have to wait until later."

"I also kind of have to question your fashion sense from the kind of stuff you were picking out for me earlier," she said in a teasing voice.

"I have wonderful fashion sense."

Sakura leaned against the register counter on her elbows and peered up at him. Lightly pulling at end of the scarf around his face, she said, "Hum… so, masks are fashionable?"

"Clearly, I'm a trend setter. It will catch on sooner or later," he replied.

Sakura laughed and rolled her eyes. Her face turned solemn for a moment and then she turned away from the counter. She waited behind him until he checked out his purchases.

"Something wrong?" he asked, nudging her shoulder as they walked onto the sidewalk. The excitement that was sparkling in her eyes earlier seemed to have left. It worried him.

She immediately perked up with a smile. "No, no. Nothing's wrong," she replied.

"Terrible liar."

"I'm serious."

"Then what were you thinking about?"

"Bananas."

"…"

"What? I'm trying to decipher your horrible hint."

"Come on, Sakura. Be honest. It was something else besides bananas."

She sighed. "Well, I was just thinking is all."

"About?"

"About… why you wear your mask."

"Oh… does it make you upset that I do?"

"No, no. I like it in a lot of ways. I feel like I'm special to know who you really are under there," she said with a warm smile.

"And you are," he replied.

"I was just thinking of why you do and then I realized it might be because of something painful in your past… I guess that thought made me sad a little. I am curious though. Do you ever get tired of having something over your face?"

"Mm, you know it's something I've never really thought much about. It's like second nature to always have something hiding my face when I'm in public. When I'm at home it's just natural to not want to wear it. I feel like I can relax."

"You feel tense when you're in public?"

"Kind of."

"I've never really noticed before."

"You've really helped me forget when I am. Because… well, you just make me feel comfortable wherever I am."

"I'm glad," she said, smiling brightly. "So… what made you first start wearing it?"

"Let's see… I first wore it when I started training in karate. I think I was half hoping the kids in the class wouldn't recognize me, but it actually makes me more recognizable, doesn't it?" He chuckled.

"Just a tiny bit. So, you just always kept wearing it growing up?"

"I think I stuck with it because it made me feel safer hiding myself, I guess from the press and people in general. Kind of silly…"

"It's not and I think you look great no matter if you wear it or not."

He raised a brow. "I thought you just told me I had a horrible fashion sense?"

"Well, when it comes to picking out things for me."

"But you _did_ like that lingerie I picked out, didn't you?"

She pursed her lips together in disgust. "That maid outfit you chose was seriously questionable."

"What? It was nice."

"It was horrible."

"It was sexy."

She gave out a defeated sigh. "Hopeless pervert."

"I'm forever your hopeless pervert."

"Awe, that's… so romantic," she teased.

Kakashi smiled, glad that she seemed cheerful again, and looped his arm with hers as they walked. He wasn't sure if he would ever feel comfortable enough showing his true face in public. It made him feel so uneasy even thinking about doing it. He knew it wasn't normal to feel that way, but it was just how he was. How he grew up. He was happy to know she really didn't mind it. Sakura had never seemed to since the beginning. He supposed that's what made her even more special. She loved him for who he was.

They walked for a little bit, passing a couple blocks. Sakura glanced at each window display hoping to find something that would catch her eye. He was beginning to lose hope that she would ever find a dress before she finally pulled him into a store.

"Don't look at the prices," he quickly said before she went too far.

"I won't!" she called back. It was a lie of course. She discretely glanced at a tag as she was pulling out a few dresses to examine off the racks. "Finally, something that's not priced insane," she whispered to herself.

The shop seemed to have a nice variety of classy and simple dresses to choose from. Pulling out a few dresses, she started to search for the changing rooms.

Kakashi looked at her, stunned. "What? You actually found some things you like?"

"Yep!"

"Thank god… I mean, that's wonderful. So, I get to see you try them on, right?"

"Nope."

"Awe…"

"You didn't let me see yours."

"I was hoping you'd forget about that."

Sakura rolled her eyes and left to try them on. He spent the rest of his time pretending to read a couple pages of Icha Icha. He was trying to decide on what he should say to her tonight. It was kind of special, the gift he was planning on giving her. It seemed really fitting to him, but maybe she would find it too personal? She might find it weird. Or maybe she wouldn't like it. Maybe he should really reconsider getting her something else, but it seemed right. He couldn't think of anyone else more fitting than her to have it. He sighed and looked up from his book for a moment. He decided he'd just go for it and hope for the best.

* * *

Evening had fully nestled itself with the glittering stars up above. Kakashi leaned against the carved stone wall of the balcony out behind the château. He couldn't help but not want to read his book as he waited. For one thing, he couldn't stop the excitement from imagining what kind of dress Sakura chose to wear tonight. Also, for some reason, he was feeling just a little nervous about his gift for her. He could hardly believe it at first when he realized it. It was absolutely ridiculous for him to feel this way, but the weird feeling he was getting in his stomach couldn't lie, as much as he tried to ignore it. He sighed. Sakura certainly had been able to pull all kinds of firsts for him - in not just experiencing new feelings, but just being able to share openly with someone. That was something that had always been too hard for him to do. Yet, it was so easy and natural with her.

The second reason he didn't care to waste any seconds in his book was the spectacular view of the white light-covered garden below. It would be a shame to not fully appreciate it, especially with how crisp and clear the cool air of the night was. This was perhaps the first night they finally had a full view of the stars up above. He hoped it would stay like this for the New Year's fireworks in Paris.

Kakashi checked the time on his phone. It was getting close to thirty minutes now since he had changed and left the room. He didn't care if they were late, but he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep his curiosity at bay. He _could_ go up to their room and try to sneak a peek while muttering some kind of made up excuse. Sakura didn't want to see him until she was completely ready and she wanted to do something extra special in prepping herself. So, he offered to kill some time outside. After some internal debating, he finally gave in to his insistent desire to see her and started to walk towards the double glass door entrance. His hand stopped on the curved metal doorknob when he caught sight of her walking down the hallway. He quickly turned his back against the wall just enough so he could still see her through the door. His eyes quickly took in the wonderful sight before him.

"Good… God," he muttered to himself.

He couldn't fight the smile that found its way to his lips as he watched her come closer. She looked so incredibly beautiful. She wore an elegant black fitted strapless dress; the thin bottom layers of chiffon swayed gracefully above her knee as she walked. He knew she was gorgeous no matter what she wore, but he swore she looked even sexier compared to the lingerie outfit. The classic red lipstick on her lips was just begging him to kiss her. He cursed. How in the hell was he going to find the will power to leave the château now? He wanted to take her right then and there.

Sakura stopped for a moment to pull her black buttoned coat over her shoulders and quickly shook a hand into her wavy pink tresses. She opened the door and carefully stepped onto the graveled floor. Her eyes glanced around the dimly illuminated balcony and frowned. Where was Kakashi? She thought he said he would be waiting here for her.

Suddenly she felt hands grab her shoulders. "Boo."

"AH!" She jumped and swung her shoulders around. Clutching her chest, she sighed and hit Kakashi in the arm with her purse. "You scared the hell out of me. Jerk!"

"I couldn't resist, sorry." He sheepishly scratched the back of his head and looked up at her apologetically.

Taking in a deep calming breath, she sighed. "I'm so going to pay you back. I'm going to scare you so bad… just you wait!"

"Good luck with that. I don't scare easily."

She folded her arms and huffed. "We'll see about that."

"I love a good challenge," he teased. "So, um… we don't have to go to dinner, right? How about we just stay here?"

"What? Why?"

"Because you look drop dead sexy and there's just no way we're going to make it."

Sakura laughed and shyly looked him with a smile. She moved her hands to feel along the smooth fabric of his suit jacket. Her fingers dragged over each exposed pearl button of his dress shirt until she reached his collar. "And you look quite sexy yourself. I like this on you." Her smile brightened when she glanced up into his eyes. "So, are you ready to go?"

He glanced down at her tantalizing finger. "Go… where again?"

"Out to dinner. Remember? Eiffel Tower?"

Slipping his hands around her slim waist, he pulled her into an embrace. "Do we… really have to?" he whispered against her ear.

She chuckled. "Yes. That's why I'm dressed up."

"I thought I'm your reason for dressing up."

"Well, yes, but… hey. What are you doing?"

He glided his hands along her back and placed a small kiss against her ear. "Nothing."

"Can't I enjoy wearing this dress longer than a few minutes?"

He started to tug at her back zipper. "No."

"…Kakashi! I-I really want us to go," she whined quietly.

"Then let's be late."

"I-I hate being late."

"Just this once?"

"N-n… stop that," she murmured, feeling his tongue swirl around her neck. She couldn't help but lean her head more into his kisses.

"We'll be quick. Just five minutes. Promise."

"You can't wait until we get back?"

"You have no idea how amazing, beautiful, and sexy you look."

She groaned for two reasons: one was how she really didn't want to be that late for their reservation, the other was how he completely just slid his hand under her dress, pressing his hand firmly over her panties. Her stance on wanting to leave now was quickly vanishing. Unable to protest any longer, she pressed her hips into his. "F-fine, but not here."

"Why not?"

Fear crept up in chest as she glanced at the door. "Anyone can see us… and what if someone comes outside? We're right by the door. Let's go upstairs."

"Can't wait that long."

Before Sakura knew what was happening, she was being pulled down the steps that led to the entrance of the garden below. The stairs wrapped around towards a large circular fountain. The garden expanded endlessly beyond that, but once they were at the bottom of the steps, he pulled her into a darkened corner of the cement wall that served as the bottom foundation of the balcony. Pressing her firmly against it, he kissed her wildly all around her neck and pushed her jacket back far enough to lick along her shoulders. Her heart hammered, almost feeling like it was about to jump out of her throat. A mix of fear and excitement pulsated through her veins as she creased her lips together not wanting to accidentally get her lipstick on him.

Kakashi dipped the top of her dress forward, still unzipped in the back, and left agonizing kisses along her breast while rubbing slowly between her legs. He loved hearing each grunt and groan she struggled to muffle between breaths. Moving his lips up towards her neck again, he slipped his fingers inside her panties and brushed against her slick desire.

"Kaka-shi," she groaned out desperately, pushing herself more into his hand.

Her knees buckled as he quickly increased his strokes against her until a release crashed abruptly over her. Pinching her lips together again, she tried not to cry out from the overwhelming feeling, but couldn't completely stop herself from bursting out a loud moan. Her fingers relaxed on his jacket as he pulled away for a moment to grab his wallet from the pocket. After he pulled out protection he had tucked away inside, he tossed his wallet to the ground and tried to make a mental note to not forget it later. Dropping his pants just low enough, he prepared himself and then pulled her panties quickly down her legs until they dropped to her ankles. Lifting the bottom hem of her dress, he pressed his length into her slowly until he was fully within her and then fully squeezed her backside with his hands.

Sakura twisted one foot out from her panties and wrapped a single leg around him as he slowly started to move inside her. Whatever anxieties she felt earlier from being somewhere so open completely vanished and was replaced with just the pure and raw feeling at their connection. Nothing else mattered. Somehow with each movement he made within her, this just seemed so different from other times they had made love. Inaudible murmurs, chaste kisses, and the mix of electrifying hard and soft touches of skin against skin was all that they heard or felt. It was quick, yet powerful. The envelopment of all of their senses between them completely drowned out the sounds of the world around them. Words didn't have to be said. They knew and felt how much they meant to each other.

He hoisted her up more, making her raise her other leg to wrap around him. She tried her best to hold on as he rolled his hips into hers. She lifted herself, meeting into each thrust and crying out into the darkness. He joined her in a sweet release and moaned her name against her neck at the very top of his peak. He pulled out from her slowly; her legs gently touched the ground again. They both breathed heavily for a few moments.

Neither of them said anything when their eyes finally met. A small smile broke from Sakura's lips making him grin in return. Her legs felt like they were shaking. She couldn't tell if was because she was cold or that he had made her have a hard time standing up right now. Perhaps it was a little bit of both. She bent over and pulled her panties back up.

"Is this going to happen every time I wear a nice dress?" she asked, attempting to re-zip up her dress with one hand.

"Highly possible."

"You have such a weakness towards clothing."

"No, just you," he replied with a smile.

She sighed. "And apparently you're my weakness, too."

Kakashi tripped over his wallet he left on the ground, which he was glad for since he almost had forgotten about it. He walked over and helped Sakura zip up her dress. After they both were cleaned up the best that they could tell from the dimly lit area, they went back up the stairs and entered the building into the hallway. Sakura was thankful there was a public restroom near the main lobby entrance. She glanced at Kakashi and busted out laughing.

He raised a brow at her. "Yes?"

"I guess… I didn't realize I kissed you. I tried not to… you're… red all over."

Pointing to her face, he said, "So are you."

She froze and searched the hall for a mirror. She ran up to it and sighed. He was right. She had smears of red here and there along her face and neck. It looked like she was attacked. "Last time I ever wear red lipstick."

"Awe, but I like it. It's sexy on you."

"But it gets everywhere."

"I don't mind."

"I bet tha-" she stopped mid-sentence and looked embarrassingly towards the floor away from a couple of people passing by them.

Kakashi pulled her up next to him and forced her to face forward. "Don't be embarrassed of our love, Sakura."

She cringed as they passed by more people who were clearly taking note of the red marks all over their faces. She wanted to die, but tried to keep in mind she'll never see any of these people again. He was probably preventing her from hiding as some kind of weird payback for her cake stunt last night. Once they quickly cleaned up, they met back out in the main lobby and waited for a cab to pick them up.

"How late are we?" she grumbled.

"Hum… maybe by like forty-five minutes by the time we get there."

"How are we even going to get a table anymore?"

"Don't worry. I got it covered. I called them after I left the restroom."

"What did you tell them?"

"That we're late."

"And…?"

"And that's it."

"They didn't give our table away?"

"They did."

She sighed. "This is your fault."

"It's yours by being too irresistible."

"Uh-huh, but how are we getting a table?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Ugh… You're being very suspicious, you know."

"Suspicious?"

"How are you not worried about losing our table?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"Just because."

"Ugh, you're so aggravating."

He gave her a quick hug. "I love you, too."

After the cab picked them up, it took close to a half hour to reach the Eiffel Tower. Seeing it up close was just as she imagined it to be. It was similar to Tokyo tower in a lot of ways, but the Eiffel Tower just seemed more special and romantic in comparison. It was illuminated beautifully in a pale yellow light that faded all the way to the very top. She admired the complex girders of the tower they passed as they went up on the private lift. She loved the atmosphere already as they were nearing the restaurant, but couldn't help but feel anxious that they weren't going to able to get a table.

Once they were inside, she became lost in the unique and modern architecture of the restaurant. The lights in the ceiling had thin, geometric honeycomb-shaped patterns in certain parts of the room. Sakura felt her hand being pulled as she continued to stare all around her at the things they passed. The place was packed. Every table was filled with either large groups of people or pairs of diners. The noise of glasses clinking and voices started to fade the further she walked. Her eyes were mesmerized by the deep blue glass wall they started to pass. It looked like it led into a lounge area. Suddenly, she walked into Kakashi's back as he stopped.

"Sakura," he laughed and pulled her around him.

"Sorry," she muttered, glancing embarrassingly up at the host, whom she had no idea they had been following, and sat down in the pulled out chair for her. She blinked and quickly glanced around them. They were alone in some secluded section of the restaurant away from everyone else. How on earth did he manage to get them somewhere so private? She noted the empty tables around them. "Did you like… rent out this whole room or something?"

He shrugged, giving her an all knowing eye crinkle of a smile.

She sighed. "You could have told me! I was really worried we wouldn't get a table."

"I told you not to worry."

"You didn't have to do this. I don't mind being around people," she commented and picked up a piece of hot fresh bread on their table. She took a bite and found it amazing how wonderfully tasty and fluffy this simple bread was.

"Well, I wanted us to have a little privacy… because I really wanted to talk to you about something important."

"Oh?"

"The next step in our relationship."

Sakura started to choke, but played it off trying to clear her throat. She raised the piece of bread in her hands to hide her blush. "Um, as in?"

"Well, we're moving in together and we haven't talked much about what will happen after that for the future. I kind of need to decide on something. So… anyway, let's talk about it later."

"O-Okay."

"Leave me some bread." He pointed to the basket.

She glanced down as she chewed. She could have sworn there were five pieces in there a minute ago. Did she just eat three? Slowly, she put back the tiny piece of bread that was left in her hand and smiled. "Here. That's kind of half. Eat the rest."

"I don't want your half eaten bread."

"What? I don't have cooties."

"Hum… questionable."

She stuck her tongue out and looked over the menu. Their waiter arrived shortly and seemed really pleasant and professional. They even spoke in English, which she was glad for since she knew way more English than French. She could actually understand what they were saying rather than just bits and pieces. They both chose a chestnut soup for an appetizer and ordered their main entrees. They took up their waiter's suggestion of a wine to pair with their food.

Sakura admired the amazing view of Paris around them as they ate their first serving. The amber lights of the old city seemed to just go on forever. She certainly could have never predicted she would be here of all the places in the world. Especially with someone she very much loved, which was something else she never could have predicted either when she moved to Tokyo. It was crazy how life could change so fast. As much as she loved Paris, she almost couldn't wait to get back to Japan. Although she had no idea what her mother would do when she found out she was living with him, but she had hopes of at least getting her mother to change her mind before admitting that she was. She pondered about what the rest of her family probably thought about her. Certainly they had to have been told by now after she left. Would they think any less of her, too? It still just didn't make any sense to her what the big deal was. Just because of their age difference? How did that make their love any less meaningful? She just didn't understand it.

Finished with the appetizers, their plates were removed. Glancing up at Kakashi, she smiled warmly as he looked at her. Her hands unfolded to intertwine with his across the candlelit table. She never noticed how much larger his hands were compared to her petite sized ones. Yet, they seemed to fit perfectly with hers all the same.

The presentation of each plate they were served was very impressively detailed. Visually it looked like pure art. Sakura almost felt bad cutting into her perfectly arranged plate of sautéed scallops, but the taste was well worth destroying its beauty. Kakashi stole some samples from her plate as she did the same with his, which was a mouthwatering duckling fricassée with garnished vegetables. She couldn't decide what dish she liked best. Every dish they had so far was just too delicious.

"Dessert?" he asked.

"I can't say no. Though I'm about as full as a whale right now."

"Let's hold off ordering until a little bit later. We don't need to rush."

"Okay," she said with a smile. Glancing at her purse, she remembered she still needed to give him his Christmas present. "Soooo, um, Kakashi. Ready for your gift?"

"Oh, did I finally earn enough points?"

"Well… about that. You still never reached fifty points," she teased.

He forced a serious look on his face. "You can't be serious."

"You're at forty-nine points. So, so close." She tsked.

"You're so just randomly making it up."

"Shh."

"Fine. I'll play along. How can I earn one more point?"

"Hum… kiss me."

"That's it?"

"Yep."

"Done."

He leaned over and kissed her softly on her now faded red lips.

"Okay. Kiss approved," she murmured.

" _Approved_ ," he scoffed. He watched her pull out her purse and shuffle inside quickly to pull out a small wrapped cylindrical package. She extended it out to him for him to take.

He shook it a couple of times against his ear. "Mm. I can already tell. It's porn."

She rolled her eyes. "Only one way to find out for sure."

He tore open the outer edge of the gift wrap paper… only to find another layer of paper. He glared at her, which made her grin spread even further. After tearing through nine more layers, he laughed at the drawing she made on the last layer. It was a masked stick figure doing who knows what. It looked like it had crossed eyes. "What's this?"

"It's a portrait of you, of course."

Staring at the poorly made picture, he said, "I had no idea you were so talented."

"I'm amazing. I know. I _was_ going to be an art major," she joked.

"I'm glad you didn't choose that route."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing."

Kakashi smiled and opened the end of the cardboard cylinder. A tied scroll slipped out. He unrolled it carefully to find beautifully written characters of his name. Behind it was another slip of paper with proverb that said: Perseverance is strength. They were both really well done in the lettering. The strokes of the brush from the characters were certainly handmade and not printed. "These are really nice. Where'd you get them done?"

She smiled happily. "I made them."

"Really?" He looked astounded as he looked over the scrolls. "I had no idea you did calligraphy."

"I can't draw to save my life, but I've always really liked calligraphy. I focused on classes for it in high school as my elective. It kind of makes me feel relaxed when I do it. So, I don't know. It's just fun for me."

His finger traced the edge of the characters. He smiled. "I really like it. Thank you."

"Welcome. I'm happy you like it. I figure you really needed something to decorate those sad white walls of yours at home."

"And when you move in, you can decorate it all you want."

"Oh, really? I can?"

"Yep."

Sakura clapped lightly in approval. "Ooh, I can't wait. I have lots of posters that desperately need some wall space."

He eyed her teasing smile. "Hum, dare I ask what kind?"

"You know: shirtless men, kittens, and unicorns."

Kakashi cringed at imagining that littered throughout his house. "Maybe you shouldn't move in after all."

She poked him in his arm disapprovingly.

"Ow, I kid… So, um…" He reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small rectangular box. He placed it on the table and slid it to her. "Here's my gift."

Carefully, she picked it up and glanced at him before opening the lid. Her fingers clutched the box tightly at what she was staring at. It was a necklace, but not just any necklace. It was the very same one she found when she was snooping around his chest at home. When she last saw it, it was tarnished, but the silver now had been finely polished, bringing the sparkle of the metal back. Her thumb traced over the multi-colored beading that swirled in a circular pattern in the heart shaped centerpiece. There were three dangling teardrop-shaped pieces with the same colored beading at the very bottom of the heart.

Guilt was quietly eating in her chest as she looked at it. She felt bad for looking in his things without telling him, and obviously this must have been very special to him. Placing the box on the table, she pulled it out and held it in palm of her hand. "It's very beautiful," she said softly.

"It's one of the only things I have left that was my mother's and… well, I want you have it."

She kept her gaze locked on the necklace in her hand feeling a lump starting to form in her throat. She swallowed, unsure of what to say.

"If it makes you uncomfortable having it, I understand..."

Sakura felt like such a sentimental sap as tears were beginning to make her vision blur. Not wanting to have him see her cry, she turned away and concentrated on the reflection of their table on the large window across from them. She was afraid to speak. She'd feel embarrassed if she were to openly cry in a restaurant, and she felt like the moment she'd try to speak, she wouldn't be able to hold back the aching burn in her throat. Pressing a hand to her mouth, she tried to stop the tears that began to fall down her cheek as she blinked. She almost couldn't believe he really wanted her to have something like this. It just really spoke volumes of how much he really cared for her.

Kakashi wasn't sure what she was thinking as she remained silent with her back turned to him. He inwardly sighed. He knew he should have just gotten her something simple like another Icha Icha book. Maybe it really was too soon in the amount of time they had been together to give her something like this. It was probably better suited for a long term relationship gift - like being with someone for over a year… and not just months. But he couldn't help how he felt about her. It wasn't like he was proposing to her, that was certainly too soon, but this gift had the same serious undertone that he was truly and seriously committed to them. To her. Maybe she didn't feel the same way, but he was so sure that she did. Especially from every wonderful moment they've shared together so far in not just the past few months, but this whole week.

"Sakura, I'm sorry… I-" he stopped mid-sentence when she finally turned towards him.

Sakura took in a deep breath as she stared at the necklace. She glanced up at him and started to move her lips to say something, but fresh tears started to run down her cheeks. "S-sorry. I was trying r-really hard not to c-cry," she stammered.

His chest tightened at watching her cry. How did he seem to always make her cry?

She held the necklace firmly in her hand against her chest. "T-this means a lot to me… you giving this to me. I… I don't know what to say. Thank you just… isn't enough."

He sighed in relief. "I wasn't sure if you'd like it or not… or… if it seemed too much."

"N-no. This is really… so special. Almost, too special… I don't know if I deserve it, but I'll gladly accept it."

"There's no one else more deserving than you."

She smiled softly and untangled the necklace in her hand. Opening the tiny clasp, she placed the delicate chain around her neck. Sniffling, she wiped away her tears and admired how the necklace looked against her chest. There was a different kind of weight she felt inside her as she rubbed her fingers over the beading. She simply just felt so happy.

"It's originally from Spain. My father gave that to my mother when they first got together. It's nothing fancy, but I know it meant a lot to her. I'm glad I was able to save it after she passed away."

"Thank you so much," she said sincerely. She slowly leaned over and gave him a kiss that lingered for a few seconds before pulling away. Looking down at the table she cleared her throat. "I have to confess that… I kind of was snooping in your room one night… and I'm really sorry I did that without asking. I saw this necklace in your chest. So… I know this must be really important to you. It really caught me off guard when I saw it… I didn't mean to cry like that."

"I don't care if you look around my things. You don't need to apologize for that. What's mine is yours anyway once you move in."

Feeling glad, she smiled and lifted the necklace up from her chest to look at it closer. "Wait… how does this relate to bananas?"

"Um… There's some yellow color in it."

"…"

She dropped her hands into her lap and glared at him. He simply smiled back. Their waiter approached and asked if they were ready to order dessert yet. Embarrassingly, she wiped her face once more, wondering if their waiter had saw her crying earlier, but he made no indication if he did or not. Trying to forget about it after their order was sent in, she asked, "So… what was it that you wanted to talk about… um, from earlier?"

"Oh, right. So, I'm kind of unsure what to do."

"About what?"

"Well, first of all, starting this semester I'm going to be Teacher Assistant for one of the freshman level English classes at the university."

"Oh, really?"

"It's good experience for me if I decide to teach college level classes in the future."

"Well, wait. I know college is completely different than how it is in high school, but does it matter that I'm in a relationship with you?"

"It doesn't as long as you don't enroll in whichever class I'm in. It also helps that we're in two completely different programs. So, there really aren't any issues."

She sighed. "Oh, good. So, what are you unsure about?"

"I've been asked to teach over the summer back at our hometown. I kind of want to because of the friends I have there. I'd like to help them out, but I don't want to leave you in Tokyo for the whole summer. I need to decide after we get back."

"Well, why don't I go with you?"

"I don't know… that's kind of burdening you."

"It's not. I mean, I could take some of the freshman classes I need at the junior college that can transfer over. It really wouldn't be any trouble. Lots of people do that to save money."

He thought for a moment. "Mm…"

"Really, you should do it."

"Also… I'm assuming you haven't mentioned to your mother that we're going to be living together."

"Um… not yet."

"So, that's kind of a problem if we both leave Tokyo for the summer. You could live with your mother if we go I guess…"

Sakura frowned at the idea. "I wouldn't want to do that."

"It might be for the best."

"I really, really don't want to."

"Then I should just stay here."

"Why can't we live together if we go?"

"I don't want you to get into more trouble with your family. You can't avoid her the whole summer living out there without her knowing. It's not possible."

"Then I'll tell her before then. So, don't worry about it."

"I just don't think it's wise…"

"You let me worry about it. That's still months from now."

"I just kind of doubt she'll ever be okay with it and she'll probably dislike the idea of us even more. I don't want to make things more difficult than it already is for you."

Sakura shrugged. "I don't care. It's my choice and it's what I want to do. So, let's just do it. Sound good?"

Kakashi sighed. There really wasn't any more use debating it with her. She seemed to have made up her mind, which was going to be impossible to change. "Okay, if you're sure."

She nodded and tried to give him a reassuring smile. He still had his worries, but figured perhaps he was a little too concerned about it. All he really cared about was not troubling her in any way with her family. He didn't want to make things worse, but at the same time he still wanted to be with her in every way that he could.

The moment he tasted their dessert, it completely washed away his worries. It tasted like heaven. How could a food do that? They ordered the classic dessert of crème brûlée. It was slightly sweet, but amazingly creamy. The mix of the caramelized sugar on top and tasty vanilla was such a great combination of pure deliciousness. Normally he didn't care much for sweet things, but there was no way he could hate something like this.

Sakura let out an annoyed grunt as she was trying to battle him over the last bite. "You _so_ ate more than I did!"

He tried to keep a straight face. "We've had an equal amount of bites."

"Yeah right…"

She sighed and pushed the dish towards him. "Don't say I've never done anything for you."

He laughed. "You can have it."

"Nope, you take it."

"If you really don't want it…"

"Take it."

Kakashi almost regretted taking the last bite, but the taste was so worth it. When they finally left the restaurant and went back to the château, she took every chance she got to tease him how he owed her forever. Then he pointed out how she owed _him_ forever by taking her France, but she countered many reasons ranging from lingerie to putting up with his various antics throughout their trip. At the end of the day, they both had a great time and another wonderful night together that they would both never forget.

* * *

The break of dawn slowly saturated the fog-filled rolling countryside. They had to leave really early in order to make it in time to catch their flight that was scheduled for tonight. Kakashi felt so tired. Last night was New Year's Eve. With the help from some of the staff at the château they stayed at, they found a great place to watch the fireworks over the Eiffel Tower that wasn't too overly crowded. Afterwards, they enjoyed just wandering the streets and talking about every subject they could think of. They topped off their night at a pub, filled with various groups of tourists and locals celebrating the New Year. They danced and drank the rest of the night away.

It was a lot of fun, although Sakura drank a little too much in the end. She said some really hilarious things in French to people that made no sense like: "Que le temps ne l'âne arrivât à la piscine?" Which meant, 'What time does the donkey arrive at the swimming pool?' It was so hilarious. He said it to her this morning; she apparently had no idea what it meant, or why he was even saying it.

Now they were on a train heading to a station in the south of France. It was about a three hour trip. Sakura rested comfortably against him and slept feeling a little sick from a slight hangover. He really wanted them to just stay in Paris until their flight, but last night she had convinced him to visit his mother's hometown before they flew back. He tried to back out of it this morning, but she didn't have any of it. She really wanted to see it as well, which he appreciated her gesture.

Kakashi wasn't sure what to expect when they arrived in the small town. He didn't know anything about it only that his mother grew up here. It was a medium-sized rustic looking village, which seemed like something you would see on a postcard. The town was spread across varying hills. It seemed like a really nice and beautiful place. On the fenced outskirts you could see herds of cattle spread out across lush farmland.

"This place is so beautiful," Sakura commented as they walked along one of the main cobbled roads that led into the heart of the village.

He smiled in response and squeezed her hand as he took everything in. It was strange being here. Knowing he was so close to her. It had been a long time since he had felt that way.

"Is… she here?" Sakura asked quietly.

"She is."

"Is your father here, too?"

"No… they had separate funerals. I could only go to my father's. I didn't get a choice in the matter. So, I never got to see her one last time to really say goodbye. I've always hated that I never had the chance. I'm not sure why I was hesitant in coming here… Maybe I kind of secretly wished that she really wasn't gone, since I haven't seen it with my own eyes yet."

"Well, I'm definitely glad we came then."

"It helps a lot that you're here."

Sakura smiled and looked at the ground for a moment. "Your parents were married. Shouldn't they have been buried and had a service together?"

"They should have, but my family wouldn't have it."

Sakura felt so sad, but angry as well. That just wasn't right. She knew if she were to die, she would absolutely want to be laid to rest next to her husband. How could his family do that to his parents? She inwardly sighed. She absolutely hated his family. Hate was a word she would never use lightly on anyone, but that was exactly what she felt. Hate. Never had she heard of a family to be so… malicious and condescending.

After they found a flower shop, they followed the signs that lead to the town's cemetery. They were greeted by rows and row of endless headstones, many of them dating back to the 1800s.

"I'm not sure where to start looking," Kakashi said with a sigh.

"Let's split up. What's her full name?"

"Reine Lemaire-Hatake."

Sakura nodded and began to search. As she walked, she was amazed how old most of the graves were. She carefully stepped between the rows and searched for dates that were more recent. She couldn't help but notice some of the dates that weren't completely weathered away. It broke her heart to see graves of children that had died so early in their lives.

Walking further back, she went towards what looked like freshly dug graves. The dirt was piled high in front of a simple marked heading, which would most likely be replaced later with a monument stone. Her eyes glanced towards Kakashi for a moment as he walked on the opposite side. He suddenly stopped and peered down towards a headstone. He waved her over. He must have found her.

She jogged quickly to where he was and stopped. There was a picture of his mother in the center under her name. She knelt down to look more closely. It was a black and white portrait, but her features certainly reminded her of Kakashi. The bridge of his nose looked exactly like hers. Other features seemed similar, but slightly different. It made her wonder what his father must have looked like.

"She's really pretty," Sakura commented.

"That she is."

Sakura looked down to find little trinkets and flowers decorated along the sides of the carved stone. She wondered who all of his mother's family visited here to take care of the grave. She clasped her hands together and said a silent prayer. When she opened her eyes, she found Kakashi kneeling next to her, seeming to be giving a prayer as well. He opened his eyes and placed down a bouquet of white roses at the base of the headstone.

"She must still have family here," she said quietly.

"Very likely."

"Have you met them before?"

"Just once when I was little."

"Do you want to meet them?"

"Not really."

"You're not curious about them?"

"I'd doubt they'd want to hear from anyone who's Hatake."

"Well, you were her son after all…"

"I'd just rather leave well enough alone."

Sakura bit into her lip and touched the base of her necklace. She couldn't help but wonder about all the possible family he had here. Maybe they were good people, but it was hard to say since neither of them knew anything about them. It just seemed like a real shame to her. He had such a torn family on both sides. They both sat in front of the grave for awhile and remained silent to their own thoughts.

Kakashi dragged a single finger in the engraved letters of the stone, over each one as if he was memorizing it. It was hard being here. He couldn't stop thinking about all the old memories he had of not just her, but his father as well. He always wondered if they were somewhere out there, watching up above. Standing up, he dusted the grass blades from his knees and helped Sakura up. He kept her hand in his and squeezed gently. His eyes looked over the grave one more time. This was probably the only and last time he would ever see it.

As they walked back to the entrance of the graveyard, they passed by an elderly man whose hair was about as white as snow itself. Kakashi glanced at him for a moment. The man's aged eyes did the same towards him. Politely, he smiled and continued to walk along the path with Sakura. Neither of them would see that the same old man would visit the exact same grave as they did that day.

There were so many things to look forward to once they were back in Japan. It was more than just a new year, but a new beginning together. What they didn't know was that this year would be the greatest test for them both.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of the the longest chapter I've done. It's kind of little mind boggling since I could barely come up with over 1k words in the first few chapters of this story. I'd like to hope it's a sign of improvement and not that I'm rambling.
> 
> For this chapter, I'm glad to be done with Sexblivion/France bit. It was fun though and something I really didn't intend one taking the story there. I'm glad I did though!
> 
> Just to comment about "Sexblivion" thing, I'm not trying to make smut for smut's sake, but it's just how I envision them really being. If I went a trip that's like a honeymoon… it's just what I'd do. I don't know. xD _*trying to find excuses to not feel like a super pervert with back to back lemons*_
> 
> I do feel like sex is one side of a relationship. It's something that can be fun, serious, etc. Adds a layer to the relationship that no else is supposed to know about. =p
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo) <3


	28. My Heart, Your Home

**Chapter 28: My Heart, Your Home**

Sakura felt so exhausted. Her eyes struggled to stay open as they stepped off the plane. She was so tired that she was blindly holding on to Kakashi's arm so that she could rest her eyes. Their flight back was terrible. They had turbulence which just about scared her to death. He did his best to comfort her, which helped a lot, but she couldn't sleep for a good portion of their long fifteen hour flight.

"I'll carry you, if you want," Kakashi offered.

"No, don't do that. That'd be embarrassing," she groaned.

He sighed and patted her with his arm that was hugged around her shoulders. He felt pretty bad that he couldn't have done more for her. He had never seen her so scared before when their plane started to shake from the storm they ran into. He figured they were more likely to die a car crash than a plane, but didn't think telling her that would make her feel any better.

"We still need to get our luggage," he whispered.

She responded with a nod and kept her eyes half-closed as they walked. He moved her over to one of the benches along the main passageway of the airport and sat her down.

"I'll get our luggage. Just stay here and rest a little bit. Be right back."

"Mm," she murmured, comfortably scooting her back into the bench. She slumped over a bit and rested her head against the wall.

Afraid that someone might steal her purse while she slipped into sleep again, he pried it from around her shoulder and made his way to the luggage area. It took a little while for their bags to come around among the hundreds of other suitcases. Walking back to where he last left her, he hoped traffic wasn't too bad right now so they'd get back to his place fast. He really needed some rest as well.

Looking up from the glossy multi-colored tiled floor, he paused once he realized that Sakura wasn't at the bench. He looked around wondering if maybe he had gotten confused and accidentally went to a different section. At first he was really hoping he had just mixed up where she was, but the more he looked around the familiar surroundings he was sure. He was _very_ sure this was where she was last. His eyes scanned the crowds walking around him as he approached the empty bench. There was no sign of her.

Anxiety started to surge in his chest. She had fallen asleep when he left her, hadn't she? How was she still not here? Maybe she got up to go somewhere, but where exactly would she go? Wouldn't she have waited for him? He tried to think. Maybe she didn't recall him saying he would be right back and was looking for him? He hoped that was it, but what was he to do now?

Biting the inside of his cheek as he thought, he tried not to panic. Slowly, he started to walk around the section of the airport in hopes of running into her. He checked nearby terminals, shops and restaurants. He even tried requesting her over the airport's intercom at the information station. After thirty minutes had passed since he last saw her, he asked the airport security to help find her. They told him not worry and that people got lost all the time, but he couldn't help it. At a loss of where else to search, he even checked his parked car out in the multi-leveled garage by chance she went there to wait… nothing.

He dropped their suitcases in the trunk, feeling his gut churn itself inside out. Closing it shut, he leaned his palms against the cold metal of the car feeling overwhelmed. He didn't know what to say… what to think. His blood was turning cold. What if something happened to her? If something really did… he wouldn't be able to live with himself. All kinds of possibilities were running through his mind, making him worry all the more. He was beginning to feel sick with panic.

Sucking in a breath, he forced himself to pull it together enough to walk back to the main entrance of the airport. He asked the security immediately if they had found her yet. Nothing. No one had seen her leave or go anywhere else. This was turning into his greatest nightmare. He was losing someone all over again. He really couldn't believe this was happening. After having one of the greatest experiences with someone in his whole life, she would just vanish? He felt so upset; he was on the brink of almost crying in frustration and fear.

It had almost been over an hour now since she disappeared. As he struggled to keep focused enough to keep searching, each step he took felt like he was stepping into quicksand. His feet felt so heavy. His mind felt weary. He was losing hope. Every minute that passed by, every second, the chances of finding her were becoming slim to none. He stopped in the middle of the crowded hall. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what the hell happened. Did someone take her? That was his worst fear of all. His eyes had a hard time focusing anymore. Every person that passed around him seemed faceless. A blur.

"Kakashi?" a familiar voice called from behind.

Immediately he spun around and stood stunned. Sakura looked up at him, rubbing her face from sleep. He pulled her abruptly into a tight hug and then pushed back to look into her eyes, keeping his hands gripped at her shoulders. His fingers tensed as he took in a breath. "What the fuck, Sakura. Where've you been this whole fucking _past hour_?" he barked.

Taken aback from the harsh tone in his voice, she stammered, "W-well, um…"

"Do you have any idea how fucking scared I was that something happened to you?"

She looked down towards the ground in embarrassment feeling her heart pound. Just the sound of the anger in his voice towards her made her want to cry. He was scolding her just like how her mother did when she didn't come home that night. She didn't expect him to ever talk to her in this way before, but knew he had every reason to. She could tell how upset he was. It scared her that he was really mad at her which was something that had never happened before. It made her feel so small. Her voice cracked when she replied, "…I'm sorry."

Kakashi released his grip on her and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm himself down. He wanted to drop down on his knees in relief, but at the same time he felt like he was about to burst. After he was able to collect himself, he took in a deep breath. She was looking away from him, but he could see she was silently crying. Guilt immediately washed over him. He felt so horrible that he lost control talking to her like that. He pulled her chin up towards him. "Sakura, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you…"

"I-its fine. I d-deserve it," she sputtered back. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye and twisted away from his hand.

"No, you don't. No one deserves being yelled at, even with the best intentions. Look, I'm tired… and I just got really scared there for a moment, but it's not an excuse. I was wrong. I'm really sorry… I know how much it hurts being yelled at and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Doesn't matter what you did or didn't do. You're here now and that's all I care about, okay…?"

"Okay," she replied back somberly.

"Forgive me?" He pulled at her hands to make her face him again.

She still couldn't bring herself to look at him, but managed to say, "If you forgive me…"

"Of course."

She smiled weakly before looking up into his tender eyes. She felt so bad for making him worry. She never meant to which made her feel even worse. _Never_ would she ever want to hurt him in any way and she had managed to do just that. She started to cry a little harder, as much as she tried not to. It made her feel even more like a stupid child.

"Come here," he commanded softly, wrapping his arms around her to pull her into a hug. Holding him against her made her feel so much better somehow and made her start to calm down a bit. She hugged back tightly and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm really sorry… I didn't mean for this to happen. I feel… really stupid," she said softly.

"You're not stupid. What happened?" he asked.

"I… well, it's really… embarrassing..."

"You can tell me."

"I can't. I feel like such an idiot…"

"Just tell me, please? You can tell me anything."

She remained silent for a moment, trying to build up the courage. He ran his fingertips through her hair slowly, still holding her as he hoped to find out what on earth made her disappear. Was it something that he had done and didn't realize it?

Sakura let out a troubling sigh. "I… um, so, when you left to get our bags…"

"Yes…?"

"I almost fell asleep again, but then I realized how badly I needed to go to the restroom…"

He wondered where this was going. "Okay…"

"And I… went and I… I kind of fell asleep."

"In the _bathroom_?"

"Yeah…"

"…"

Kakashi slowly pulled her from their hug to look at her, thinking she must have been joking, but she looked dead serious. "Really? How in the world…"

"Well, I was on the toilet… and I kind of fell asleep sitting there I guess…"

"For an hour…?"

"I'm sorry. It's not like I meant to," she muttered and looked away ashamed.

He sighed. "Well, it's certainly the place I didn't go look. I'm not sure why I didn't think to check there."

She glanced up at him and said firmly, "I'm really, really, sorry for making you upset. I feel like the worst person ever..."

"It's okay. It's not your fault. Again, I'm really sorry for yelling at you." He leaned down and found her lips with his for a moment, then pressed his forehead against hers. "Let's head home, okay?"

She nodded and kissed him again. They both pulled away to start walking towards the main exit of the airport. He let the security know she had been found before they left to the parking lot. She still couldn't shake off how bad she felt. How could she have fallen asleep in a restroom? She felt like such a moron.

"I guess you really did end up scaring me like you promised after all," he joked.

Sakura laughed uncomfortably. "Okay, I guess I did, but this was not the way I had intended though. You were really scared, huh?" she asked sadly.

"The thought of losing you really scares me more than anything else… and I thought it really might have happened today. I don't know what I'd do if I did."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be."

Once they were at his car, he unlocked the passenger's side for her and waited for her to slip inside. After the door shut, it made her feel all aware of the dead silence inside leaving her alone with her thoughts. She watched him in the rear-view mirror as he opened the trunk for a moment then closed it before entering the driver's side. He handed her purse to her.

"Thank you," she said in a glum voice.

He sighed and gripped the steering wheel making his knuckles turn white as he squeezed. Glancing over at her, he could still see how distressed she looked. "Sakura, it's not a big deal. Please don't be upset."

"It makes me feel so bad knowing I hurt you…"

"I overacted and jumped to the worst conclusion. Trust me, I'm not mad at you. I'm just thankful everything's okay. Don't sweat the small stuff. Things happen. I bet tomorrow you'll wake up and laugh about it. It could have been a lot worse."

She looked up hopefully. "Well…"

"You could have fallen _in_ the toilet."

She let out a small chuckle. "That would have made it worse… yes."

"And then what if your butt was stuck in there for hours?"

"That would be terrible. I mean, if I had Icha Icha with me it might be doable," she teased.

He grinned. "Also, maybe your butt would turn blue for being stuck so long. Then I'd forever nickname you Smurf."

"…"

"Sorry, I mean Smurfette."

"…"

Sakura glared and folded her arms disapprovingly, but still had a grin on her lips. He was glad to finally see a smile on her face. After pulling out of the parking garage, they were on their way back on the main highway heading towards his house. He couldn't wait to fall into bed once they got there. After a couple of minutes he heard Sakura sigh. He glanced at her. She was staring at her phone.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Well… I naturally didn't get service when we were away. My voicemail box is full…"

"Oh…" He could easily guess who had filled that up.

She started listening to them and cringed. Never had she blatantly ignored her mother's calls for so long, although she really couldn't help it since she was out of the country. Probably wouldn't be the greatest thing to tell her that's what she had been doing this whole past week. It would be nice to tell the truth, but then again with everything that had happened so far, it just didn't seem like a good idea if she really wanted to change her mother's mind about him. Of course… ignoring her and arguing wasn't going to help either. Seemed like no matter what she did it wasn't going to come out good.

"What are you going to say when you call her back?" he asked.

"Um, I don't know. That I didn't want to talk to her I guess."

"Mm… We should really try and talk to her before things get too far."

"I don't know..."

"At least attempt to talk to her about it. I don't want you to lie or basically feel like you're sneaking around with me. I don't want that."

"Well, I don't either, but I'm afraid it will just make things worse if we do. I'm really afraid to tell her that we're living together… to be honest."

"I think it's going to more so if we don't. No matter if her opinion changes or not I'd feel a lot better as long as we at least try to talk to her once. She can disagree, but she can't change what's between us. As much as I don't want to put any strain between you and your family, I can't help that I do want to be with you no matter what. I'm too selfish; I want you in my life as much as possible."

She sighed and smiled at his last comment. "You're right I suppose. Well, I'll ask her about meeting you sometime and see what she says, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Sakura nodded and lowered herself more comfortably into the seat. Turning off her phone for now, she drifted into sleep again. She was worried about what all the future would bring, but took solace that at least Kakashi would be by her side. That's all she needed.

* * *

Kakashi sipped a spoonful of stew he was making. Satisfied with the taste, he covered it to let it keep simmering. It would take a couple of hours to finish cooking, but would be perfect by the time they were ready to eat dinner. He sighed happily with a grin on his face. Today was an exciting day that he had been increasingly looking forward to since the moment he suggested it. Sakura was finally living with him on a full term basis.

After he finished cleaning up the kitchen, he made his way to the living room looking for Sakura. The pile of boxes they had brought in together from her apartment was almost completely unpacked. He let her have free reign to place things wherever she liked to. Earlier, he cleared out half of his closet for her clothes and emptied a couple of drawers in his dresser for her to share. She had already begun decorating some of the walls around the house with her calligraphy work and other art. It was nice just seeing something on his usual bare walls. It didn't feel so cold anymore, but what really made it a home now was having her here with him.

Walking into the hall, he remembered that he did have some stuff in storage she might like to use to decorate. He couldn't remember what all was inside the room anymore besides the old piano and random boxes of stuff. He took a step towards the door to see for himself until he heard his name.

"KAKASHI! YOU DAMN PERVERT!"

He froze. Sakura sounded upset. Did she find his stashed porn collection of magazines? He turned to see her standing at the top of the stairs, hands on her hips with a fistful of…

"What is this?" She held out a hand with quite an amount of colorful panties in her palm.

"Um…" He mentally cursed how apparently he didn't hide them well enough once they came back from France.

"Why do you have my panties stuffed in your desk drawer? I thought you were joking that you've been stealing them. I didn't realize I've been missing so many." She flipped through them and shook her head disapprovingly.

"I, um… well, you see…"

"Uh-huh… go on." she said impatiently.

"You forgot them… when you came over?" He wanted to slap himself with his pitiful excuse.

She scoffed. "This many? You stole them."

"Stole… is a harsh word. More like borrowed."

"For what? You don't… wear them or something do you?"

He flinched. "No! I just, um…"

"Pervert," she muttered and stomped back into his bedroom.

Worried that she actually was mad, he went up stairs and followed her into his room. "Sakura…"

She dropped her pile of panties on his bed next to some other sorted clothes she was going through and bent down under his bed. His heart dropped as she pulled out one of his old pornographic magazines.

"And what's this?" she asked.

"…"

"And this?" Another magazine flopped on his bedspread.

"…"

She continued, bent under his bed, and started pulling up things he barely could remember he even had anymore. Why didn't he clean his room before she moved in? He felt like such an idiot.

"And this?" she asked again, throwing a pair of handcuffs on the bed.

"Ah, that's where those were," he murmured.

"And this?" Another dirty magazine flew on his bed. He tried to remember how many he had down there.

"And this?" A rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle squeaked on his bed. He had no fucking idea what that was doing there or where it came from.

"…"

Sitting back up, she sneezed from the dust.

"Bless you," he said.

She glared at him. "Anything else you'd like to say about all this?"

His eyes glanced over all the objects on his bed, lingering on the rubber chicken. "Um… not really."

Folding her arms, she glared harder at him. Clearly, she was expecting some kind of explanation, but he wasn't sure what exactly to say.

"Sakura… all this is old stuff I haven't really looked at in years." He motioned towards the magazines.

"…"

"Are you really mad?"

"…"

Kakashi wanted to crawl under a rock from the silence. It wasn't his fault, he reasoned. He was a guy. Guys had stacks of porn on their bed. Didn't most people? Honestly, he hadn't looked at most of it in years which he figured was pretty evident from the amount of dust on them. Was she really that upset over it? Their first day together wasn't going to start out like this, was it?

"No," she finally said with a weak smile.

He blinked. "Uh, really? You're not?"

"No, I'm not," she replied nonchalantly. She started stacking his magazines together.

"Then…"

"I was just messing with you. Consider this payback for stealing all of my underwear. I really don't care if you have porn. I mean, you read Icha Icha almost everyday. That's porn."

He sighed in relief. "Romance."

"Porn."

"Well, don't pretend you don't like it."

"I'm not. I _do_ like it," she teased. "Anyway, I saw dust under here earlier and thought I'd clean it out. Then I discovered your _treasures_."

He sighed and started to organize the things on top of his bed. He tossed out all of his old magazines since he really didn't look or need them anymore. They continued to clean and organize things around his room. By the time they finished, he was surprised how different it looked now. It didn't look as sloppy anymore and it had a nice combination of Sakura's things throughout. His house was really starting to reflect how they were sharing everything together now. It gave him a nice feeling.

"Like it?" she asked, giving him a hug from behind.

"I like it a lot," he replied, squeezing her arms.

"I still have a few more things to unpack, but I'll save it for tomorrow."

She sighed, giving him one final hug and moved to collapse backwards on the bed. He kneeled on the bed to lie down next to her. He turned his eyes up towards the ceiling and halted at what was staring back at him. It was a poster of a fluffy orange kitten hanging desperately on a rope with the cliché words, _'Hang in there.'  
_  
"What… in the hell is that?" he slowly asked.

Her eyes glanced at the ceiling above and fought back a grin. "Oh, that? It's a poster, silly."

"But… what is it doing there?"

"It's always been above my bed ever since I was a little girl. I think it brings me good luck. It's usually the first thing I see in the morning, so… I hope you don't mind."

"…"

He felt like his manliness was draining the more he stared at it. There was no way this was going to work. It creeped him out, and if he were to stare at that night after night he might have to kill himself. It was too adorable. Too cheesy. How could he even make love to her with that thing hanging above his head? _Hang in there_ …

He rubbed his face, starting to feel stressed. How could he ask her nicely to take it down? He pointed towards the hallway. "It might look better, um, over there."

"Mm, nah. It looks fine as it is. Oh! I didn't even finish putting up other parts to it."

"Other parts?" he asked curiously.

She sat up and bent over the side to rustle through a plastic bag that was on the floor beside the night stand. She pulled out a few things and stood on the bed on her tippy toes. The thin sheet of paper in her hand looked liked stickers. Slowly, she peeled them off one by one.

' _Oh fuck me,'_ he thought as he watched her start them stick them all over the poster. They were glittery sequins hot pink bows and stars. He wasn't sure what was worse, the poster itself or the stickers.

Sakura fell back down onto the bed once she was finished. "There we go. Now it feels like home."

"…Sakura."

"Yes?"

"Um… how can I put this nicely?"

"I know, it is nice, isn't it?"

He began to shake his head. "No… I- "

"I got this poster as a gift from Ino. It means _so much_ to me and just look how cute it is!"

"…"

At first he thought this had to have been a joke, but he couldn't tell. He had to say something. That damn poster could not stay up above his bed. He began to open his mouth to say something, but Sakura interjected.

"Oh yeah! The poster is also really special to me because it reminds me of this old tabby cat I used to have. His name was Mr. BooBoo since he always seemed to hurt himself accidentally. He had a cute little bob tail that would wag when you pet it and he loved to just run around the house. Sometimes he ran into doors, trees, cabinets, parked cars, but that was because he was half blind I think. We never could figure out why."

Kakashi began to rub his temples, trying not to envision a cat walking into a parked car. It made him want to laugh. Was she really serious? This poster was going to be the death of him. She really seemed to be attached to it, but he just couldn't have this above where they slept. Anywhere, but here. He sighed. "Sakura, would you mind if you moved it?"

She turned to look at him. "Move what?"

"The poster…"

"But… it won't feel like home if it's not hanging above me."

"Well, but we're making a new home together... and I just think it would be better if it was somewhere else…"

"You hate it," she accused him.

"Not really…"

"Then why do I have to move it?"

"Because, um…" He tried to think of a good answer.

"You hate it."

He sighed, unable to think of what else he could possibly say. "…Fine. Yes, I hate it."

She let out a depressed sigh and pointed up at the poster above them. "But this poster means the world to me. I thought you said I could put my things anywhere? So… you lied to me?"

His heart clenched. "…No."

This was starting to be more trouble than it's worth. He tried to tell himself this was just a silly poster. He shouldn't feel bad wanting her to move it. He glanced up at the kitten's beady little eyes. Even though he did technically tell her she could do as she pleased… this had to go.

"It's not just a kitten. It's a kitten of hope, courage, and perseverance. That orange ball of fur represents the human spirit. Are you one of those people who want to crush the dreams of an innocent kitten, desperately hanging on for its dear life? Look at those sparkling eyes, Kakashi. How can you say no to those eyes?"

"…"

One of the stickers fell down from the ceiling and smacked him right in between the eyes with a tap. He groaned and brushed it off his face. Leaving his hand across his eyes, he wondered if he should really just let her keep it there. Suddenly, he heard snickering and turned to look at Sakura. She was desperately trying to hold a back from bursting into laughter. He narrowed his eyes and turned on his side. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"Y-you totally think I-I'm serious!" Her giggles further erupted.

"…"

She picked up the fallen sticker on the bed and pressed it on his face. "I just wanted to see what you'd say. I can't believe you were really debating letting me keep it there. Don't you think it's creepy?"

He sighed, feeling relieved. "I hate you."

Smiling, she leaned over and kissed him. "It's a random parting gift from Ino, actually. I have no idea what to do with it."

"Let's burn it."

"Awe, but that's cruel."

After a moment of silence, he asked, "Did you really used to have a cat named Mr. BooBoo?"

"Nope. I lied."

"You know what liars deserve?"

Hesitantly, she looked at him. "Um… what?"

"Tickles." He pounced on her and began to tickle her sides.

Her hands shot to her stomach. "AH! Noooooo! Look, I-I'm sorry, but it was f-funny!" she hollered. He started to tickle her more viciously. "K-Kakashi, please!"

"You deserve one thousand tickles."

"No!" Somehow she managed to pull herself from his hands and fell ungracefully to the wooden floor with a thud. Narrowly, he missed grabbing her leg before she slid backwards with a screech. When he started to get out of the bed, she ran out of the room and slammed the bedroom door behind her.

Rolling out of the bed, he ran to the door and pulled. It didn't budge. She managed to turn the lock when she ran out. He had to applaud her on managing that. Unlocking the door, he opened it and stepped into the hall. It was quiet. Too quiet.

"You can run, but you can't hide," he teased.

There was no way she had time to go downstairs. He would have heard her footsteps. So, he started his search for her in the bathroom. He opened the door and flicked on the light. Slowly, he pulled back the shower curtain, but found nothing. He even looked inside the bottom cabinets by chance she was ninja enough to fit in there. Nothing. Only place that was left upstairs was his office.

Kakashi vowed he was so going to tickle her until tears came out of her eyes. He almost felt sorry for her. Closing the bathroom door, he went across the hall to his office and opened the door cautiously which made it creek eerily. His hand slid along the wall to find the light.

"Hum, where could she be?" he asked aloud. His eyes glanced to the desk. She must have been behind there. Taking a few steps towards it, he barely caught sight of a figure in the reflection of the window dart out behind him. She had been hiding behind the door. He turned quickly and started to chase after her. She squealed in fear and ran out of the room as fast as her legs would carry her. Jumping down some of the steps of the staircase, she had no hope of trying to outrun him as he pulled at the back of her shirt once they were at the bottom of the stairs.

"Ah-ah," he said, tugging her backwards to him.

Sakura whipped around and with a single arm twisted his hand away. Distancing herself from him, she struck a fighting pose.

Kakashi laughed, admiring her gall. "You do realize I've won world championships in karate, right?"

"So? I can take you on," she said sternly. Clenching her fists, she gave him a hardened look like she was serious.

"Oh?" He made a motion towards her and her façade of looking fearless crumbled. He quickly moved a hand to tickle her side, then pulled back to tickle her on her other side making her giggle.

She tried to smack his hands away, but was failing at each try. He was too quick. "Agh!" she tried to suppress more giggles that he was causing her.

"Your stance is leaving you open to attacks. Here." He rose his hands up in a momentary surrender that he wouldn't tickle her. She relaxed cautiously and let him approach. Gripping her shoulders, he moved them off to the side and forced her hips to follow. "Keep your shoulders and hips level or else your center of gravity will be off."

"Okay." She tried to adjust her weight to be more centered.

He poked a finger behind her knees. "Don't lock your knees."

She bent her knees slightly and raised her fists. "Keep your elbows in and keep your hands just below eye level. Also keep them in a loose fist like this." He paused and showed her with his hand. "And be sure to keep the rest of your body relaxed."

Nodding, she struck her new pose and made a playful jab at him. "How's this?"

"Good. Now try and block me by using an open hand to deflect my arms. Be sure and use this part of your hand." He opened her fist to caress the spot he mentioned, and then raised her arm up to demonstrate to her how she should block against him.

Pulling back, she reset her stance and grinned. "Okay, try me."

Slowly, he began making moves towards her which she blocked easily. She laughed as he pretended like he was really having a hard time. "So, sensei, am I black belt worthy, yet?"

"Mm… At this point, you could maybe take out two five year-olds who haven't earned white belts yet."

She glared and made a motion to smack his arm. He grabbed her wrist and twisted it behind her head, then pressed his knee behind her leg to make her fall backwards. He caught her right before she would have fallen to the floor.

"Show off," she muttered.

He grinned and pulled her back up.

"You know, you always let me hit you. You could easily block them, so why let me?"

"Because I usually deserve it," he teased.

"Damn right." She smiled and combed her fingers into her messy strands of hair.

Kakashi was lost in admiring how beautiful she was before remembering what he was supposed to be doing. "Oh yeah… I almost forgot about tickling you."

Her expression soured and suddenly went back into her fighting stance. "Don't you even."

"You can't stop me."

"Yes, I can!"

He started to make strikes towards her stomach, but she managed to block and dodge each attempt. Picking up speed, he dashed towards her and tried to sneak in at her side, but she twisted her hips at just the right moment.

Smiling, he commented, "Okay, I have to admit you're really impressing me. You really never took any kind of marital arts before, right?"

"Nope," she replied with a proud smile.

"You really should have signed up for karate in high school."

She shrugged. "Hum, I guess it never crossed my mind that I'd be any good at it."

"Well, I can tell you have a lot of potential."

"Want to help train me sometime?"

"Sure, but I'll need some form of payment…"

Frowning, she thought for a moment and then smiled. "Kisses?"

"Mm… I need a sample."

Sakura relaxed from her stance and approached him to place a kiss on his lips. She started with soft kisses at first and then parted his lips with her tongue. She explored his mouth for a minute before pulling away. "How's that?"

"I need more samples."

She glared playfully at him. "Greedy."

"Hey, I just want to be sure if I accept this kind of payment."

"Yeah, _sure_." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into another kiss. He held her at the waist and lifted her up into a hug, making her laugh. "What happened to you tickling me?" she asked.

He smiled. "Distracted. Happily distracted."

* * *

The next couple days went by fast as Sakura became more settled in. It was amazing to her how comfortable she felt living with him as if she had been already for years. It just seemed natural and completely right. Before they knew it the new semester was finally upon them. She was sad at the idea of having to go back to work at the café and wasn't looking forward to studying or homework. She had gotten so spoiled in the past month of being together with him every day. She'd really miss not being able to spend so much time with him anymore, but at least she knew they would always go home to the same place at the end of the day.

Kakashi woke up feeling warm and soft kisses at his cheek. Keeping his eyes closed, he smiled and moved his lips across smooth skin until he found her lips. Pulling back, he slowly opened his eyes to find a smiling Sakura staring back at him. "Is that going to be my wake up call every morning for the whole semester?" he asked.

"If you want it to be," she replied.

"Absolutely, yes."

Her smile grew and then she slipped her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. "So, are we going to be actually on time to school for the first day?"

He glanced at the clock. "Hum… Maybe."

"If you want, you can go back to sleep until I get out of the shower."

"Or I can join you… you know, to save money and time."

She poked him with an accusing finger. "We'd be _really_ late then. Pass." Kissing him one last time, she scooted off the bed and started to head towards the bathroom.

"Awe… No fun," he mumbled, his head falling back onto the pillow. His eyes closed again, making him drift back into sleep. He didn't open them again until he heard the rustling of fabric. He was happy to find that Sakura was changing into fresh clothes outside the walk-in closet and was hopping up and down pulling her jeans up. The greatest thing of all was that she was still topless.

She caught his stare and turned her back to him. "Figures you wake up right when I'm changing."

"My pervert senses were tingling."

"…"

"What? It's a super power of mine."

She sighed and pointed to the door. "Go shower, Super Pervert Man."

"Fine." He kicked the sheets back and rubbed his stubbly face before getting up. "Off to my secret lair."

"The bathroom?"

" _Secret lair_." Then he stretched his arms out and pretended to fly towards the bathroom while making whoosh sounds.

"I'm in love with a crazy person," she muttered with a laugh.

After she finished changing, she quickly brushed her hair and put on a little makeup. She went down stairs into the living room and fell onto the couch to relax. She picked up her Icha Icha book that was on the coffee table and pulled out her bookmark to pick up where she last left off. She wasn't too worried they would be late.

About twenty minutes later, Kakashi flew down the steps in a hurry and grabbed his keys from the end table in the hall. Twirling them in his hand he stood in the living room's archway and watched Sakura stretch slowly before putting down her book. He was surprised how calm she was. "You might want to hurry. We're probably going to be late, sorry."

"Mm, nope. We're on time."

"Huh?" He glanced at the clock hung up in the living room. "Hey… you changed the time in the bedroom…"

She smiled. "Yep."

"I hurried for nothing!"

"No. Not for nothing. See, now we're assured to be there on time."

He started to walk back up the stairs. "I'm going back to bed."

"No you don't!"

Sakura ran up to him and pulled him back down. "Let's leave now."

He groaned. He felt swindled out of precious minutes of sleep. She managed to push him out the door and down the steps after she locked it. He pouted the whole way to the driveway. She stepped in front of his car and tapped her fingers.

He shook his head. "Hum, nope. Motorcycle today."

"Awe, but my hair is going to get everywhere."

"Shouldn't have changed the clock."

"Oh, come on! I did you a favor."

"Losing sleep is not a favor."

She rolled her eyes and reluctantly made her way over to his bike. He sighed at her pout and moved to unlock the car. "Fine, we'll go in the car. Only because I love you."

"Yay! Thank you," she said happily.

Kakashi sighed and muttered something about how he was so whipped before he settled in the driver's seat. As they drove, they talked about their schedules for the day. She had to work tonight, so he was going to stay at the school after he finished his classes to wait for her. He didn't mind at all and he was looking forward to ordering a super complicated latte again.

They kissed and wished each other a good day once they made it to the main walkway of the campus. As she pulled her fingers away from his, she was already missing him. She turned over her shoulder as she walked to find him glancing back at her as well. She smiled and couldn't help but blush.

Turning back around, she sighed and pulled out her schedule. She had nothing but chemistry and math courses this semester. All of her science classes had a mandatory lab, which was a separate class, but counted towards her final grade at the end of the semester towards the main lecture class. She hated the lab work, but it was just something she had to get used to if she wanted to get into medical school. As long as she stayed on top of everything this semester, it shouldn't be too hard to handle.

Working her way through the crowds, she found her chemistry class with plenty of minutes to spare before it started. It was a medium-sized class compared to the big lecture hall she was in last semester. The chair she randomly picked squeaked as she slipped in the wooden seat. She pulled out her notes along with a freshly sharpened pencil and began to tap lightly on her notebook as she waited.

"Haruno… Sakura?" a voice called out above her.

She glanced up and froze at the dark pair of eyes that stared back at her. "Hello, Sasuke..."

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra cookies to those who know where the random chicken with the pulley in the middle is from. xD Easy hint: I've referenced it before in the story.
> 
> Someone asked if I had a picture of the necklace I referenced. It's actually based off one that I own. Linky: [here](http://fav.me/d4rpzw6).
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	29. Holding On To Everything

**Chapter 29: Holding On To Everything**

"Hello, Sasuke," Sakura said, trying not to look too surprised. "I didn't know you came to Tokyo as well."

He replied with a forced smile and walked to a chair several rows in front of her.

She felt a little uncomfortable, not because she used to have a crush on him, but because of how much he had changed for the worst between junior high and high school. She wasn't sure why she childishly proclaimed her love for him in the first place back then. He was never a kind person. Although he acted indifferent towards most people, he always remained one of the most popular students in her school. If it wasn't his well-known family that made him so, it was how skilled he was no matter what subject or sport he did. Maybe it was the popularity that got to his head, but he had become really snobby and short with people, namely with Naruto who at the time in junior high was picked on a lot. She didn't care so much then when she was blinded by her crush on Sasuke, but the more she matured, the more she realized how wrong it was for anyone to treat people that way. She should know of all people. She was bullied by some of her classmates because of how she looked, but the people that used to tease her grew out of it. Sasuke always continued being rude to who he considered 'lesser' than him. His main target had always been Naruto, who she later learned what a great guy and friend he was. Sasuke's constant fighting with him really made her silently start to dislike him later in high school.

The last time she and Sasuke ever spoke words between each other was at graduation. He was the valedictorian of their class. Since she was salutatorian, they both had to sit next to each other separated from the rest of their classmates during the ceremony. They presented their speeches and made some small awkward talk as the ceremony progressed to pass time.

After Sasuke took his seat, she didn't pay him any mind and focused back on the starting lecture in class. She was hoping they would just do introductions today and leave early, but her professor already had a full lecture planned for them as well as homework. She sighed. She really didn't want to start readings already. Once class was over, she went to her next one which was calculus. Math wasn't her favorite subject, but it had always been pretty easy for her. To her it was just a matter of plugging in the numbers. She groaned silently when the professor of that class also assigned homework for today. All hope of having one last relaxing night with Kakashi was disappearing. She still had chemistry lab later and was going to bet she would get homework in there as well since it was only a once a week class.

At least today she and Kakashi would have time to get lunch together. She wouldn't be able to on Tuesdays and Thursdays because of their schedules. It was so depressing to her that she wouldn't be able to meet up for lunch on those days, but tried to remind herself at least they would go home together and have dinner every night. It made her even happier they decided to move in together now, rather than later. She would have gotten to see him even less if she was still living with Ino. It would have driven her crazy.

After buying a couple things from the bookstore, Sakura walked down the main campus walkway and weaved around passing crowds towards the language building. The English class Kakashi was assisting with wasn't out yet, but she decided to wait in the main lobby area which had a worktable area. She figured now would be a good time to start working on some of her piling amount of homework.

Pulling out her phone, she sighed at the text her mother sent wishing her a good day for the new semester. Right now they weren't talking, at least not calling each other directly. When she finally called her mother back the day after she came home from France, to say that her mother was angry from not hearing from her in a week was an understatement. She was furious. Sakura argued with her that she wasn't a baby that she needed to keep constantly checking in on. That just made her even angrier, telling her that she had the right to check in with her own daughter who disappeared off with some "man" when she last saw her. Then she started giving her guilt trip reasons: that she was the one who gave her life, raised her, and paid, among other things, for her education growing up. Needless to say, she didn't ask about possibly meeting Kakashi. She wasn't sure what to do now. Ignoring it for now seemed like a grand idea.

Sakura quickly replied back 'thanks' and then sent Kakashi a text that she was waiting around the lobby for him when he was finished. Sighing, she started working on her chemistry homework. About twenty minutes later, a pair of fingerless gloved hands covered her eyes while she was mid-writing one of her answers.

"Guess who?" a teasing voice asked.

"Hum… Naruto?" she asked.

"I should tickle you for even comparing my voice to his."

"Ino?"

"Now you're just insulting me."

She pulled his hands down and turned up to look at him with a grin. "Oh, Kakashi. I had _no idea_."

He sat down beside her and placed his bag on the table. He let out a fake depressed sigh. "Cruel."

"Never." She grinned, and then kissed his cheek. She turned back towards her work to finish up the last bit of the problem she was working on.

"Doing homework already?" he asked. "Day's not even half over yet."

"I know, right? I'm not even half way done and I still have lab later. So, how did the class assisting go?"

"So far, so good. The professor I'm working with seems like a decent guy who knows what he's doing. I really can't gauge how well the students are until I start grading papers. They could be all idiots."

She chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure it will be fine."

She quickly finished her work and placed the sheet into the pages of her book, then closed it to stuff it in her bag. Kakashi rose from the chair and helped her up. Squeezing his hand, she smiled and asked, "Where would you like to get lunch?"

"I'm down for whatever."

"How about _ramen_?" she asked jokingly.

"Okay, I'm down for anything, _but_ that."

"Let's just go to one of the cafeterias."

He nodded in agreement and pointed towards a direction. "I think the closest one is that way."

They walked outside amidst the rush of people either getting lunch themselves or scurrying off to their next class. It was similar to the one they went to the first time they ate together. It had various buffet styled food stands for different specialty types. So you could pick and choose whatever you liked.

"Let's meet over there?" Kakashi asked, pointing near the group of tables over by the windows.

"Sure," she replied with a nod.

After they finished selecting a few items to eat for lunch, they met up at a small table. They started to chat a little bit about everything, including reminiscing about their trip to France that was merely just a couple of weeks ago.

"I miss France," she sighed.

"Me, too. I mean, where else can I get quality snail dishes to sneak in your food?"

Sakura playfully gagged. "Bleh. I still hate you for teasing me that there was some in my salad on the first night."

"But there was," he said sternly.

"Don't even say that."

"There was."

"…"

She narrowed her eyes at the serious look on his face. He remained silent until he took in a breath to say, "I joke."

"Argh. Hate you."

"You do realize though, that day I actually had some... you did kiss me later which means you technically were tasting the snails that I ate."

She dropped her chopsticks and gave him a death glare.

"Love you," he muttered meekly. He looked apologetically at her.

Not being able to withstand the sad look in his eyes, she smiled and gave him a quick kiss. Circling her chopsticks around in her food, she looked around the cafeteria to suddenly find her eyes locked with Sasuke's. He was a few tables over scowling at them. She flinched and blinked back to her food. Slowly, she looked back to him again. Finally, he shifted his cold looking gaze from them. She glared at him as he turned away. What was his problem?

Kakashi glanced at where she was looking at. "Oh, isn't that…Uchiha Sasuke?"

"Yeah…"

"Mm…" He looked at her uneasy gaze toward the Uchiha. "Look, um, I know things change over time. That's even obvious between us from when I first met you, but I have to ask…"

She turned her attention back towards Kakashi. "…Yes?"

He sighed, figuring she'll probably be angry at him for even saying it. "You don't still have some kind of thing… for him like you used to in junior high, do you?"

She looked shocked, then irritated. "O-of course not," she stammered. "Why are you even asking? You think I'd leave you for him or something?"

"No, no… but I can't help knowing how infatuated you were back then. I don't know anything between you both beyond junior high. So, I'm just curious if you still harbored any feelings like that anymore and I'm asking because… um... well, I…"

Sakura huffed. "For one thing that was eons ago. Stupid puppy love. Didn't you ever have a silly one-sided crush on someone growing up?"

"I can't say I have. I guess that's why I felt the need to ask you. It's not that I think you don't love me or anything like that. I already know you do."

Her anger dissipated a bit. "Oh, well, most people do and that's something that fades over time once you realize that it's not worth it for whatever reason. Then you just move on."

He couldn't help his curiosity. "What made you move on?"

"I only focused on his looks and not who he was. He turned into a real jerk… least from what I know and heard about him."

Kakashi glanced at Sasuke for a moment. "Yeah, I know that first hand."

"Oh?"

"He used to be a part of the karate team when I was in charge of it."

She hummed in thought. "I forgot about that. I remember he was in it during junior high, but… beginning of sophomore year in high school he dropped out. Everyone made a big deal out of it since he was one of the most skilled on the team. Wasn't he even one of the captains?"

"He was, yes."

"Do you know why he quit?"

Kakashi tossed around the vegetables in his bowl with his chopsticks as he contemplated. It wasn't something he could talk about when he was still teaching there. Only he and the headmaster knew anything about it to avoid any unnecessary drama. Of course, things were in the past now and he was no longer a teacher there anymore.

"I made him quit," he finally said.

Her mouth dropped open. "Huh?"

"Well, it was either quit or me officially kick him out. He chose the first option."

"What for?"

"Besides the growing lack of respect for me or any of his teammates, there was an incident that happened which he almost could have killed someone…"

Her eyes went wide. "What? Really? How come I never heard about this before? With who?"

"I shouldn't say who, I guess… but it happened after practice one night. I'm not sure what led to it, but when I got there it was almost too late. Sasuke's kind of like me in a way, in being descended from a well known family. No one was told about it because of his ties to Uchiha, who actually contributed quite a lot of money to the school over the years. The school didn't want to get any bad publicity for making an ordeal out of it. It's not right, but it's how they wanted to handle it at the time."

Sakura looked down for a moment, processing what he had just told her. She had heard Sasuke picked fights sometimes, usually outside of school, but nothing that ever ended up too serious. "That's crazy… I had no idea."

"Yeah, well. I probably shouldn't have told you most of that, but I trust you."

She smiled for a moment. "And I trust you, too."

Shifting an elbow to the table, Kakashi looked off to the side for a moment. "I have to admit, that I kind of feel like I failed as a teacher for him to end up acting like that."

"Don't say that…"

"It's just fact."

The mood darkened a bit. Sakura placed her chopsticks down to pull at his hand that was lying on the table. "Hey, I don't know everything, but I do know sometimes you can't reach out to everyone. Not if they don't want the help."

He tapped her hands appreciatively. "You're probably right."

"I am. You know, Naruto used to say nice things about you a lot back then."

"Really?"

"When he wasn't talking about ramen of course."

He chuckled. "Of course."

"Besides how late you'd be sometimes and being a bit of a hard-ass," she teased.

He playfully glared at her. "I can't deny that."

"But really. He told me he was seriously thinking of dropping out in high school when we became better friends, but he loved being a part of the team and that forced him to take school seriously. I know he's thankful for that. I bet he wouldn't even be here now on a scholarship if you didn't have any sort of part in it."

He smiled. "Well… that certainly makes me feel a bit better hearing that. Thank you."

She squeezed his hand. "You kind of pretended not to care when you were my teacher in middle school, but I can tell you generally love to teach and trying to make a difference, right?"

"Yeah. It is the reason why I wanted to be one. Specifically with karate growing up, it helped me not lose my sanity of the things around me. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here if I didn't have any kind of outlet like that."

"What you mean not be here?"

"I really wasn't in a good place back then… I could have done something stupid to myself."

Understanding the implication he meant, she lowered her eyes. "Oh…"

"It's the past though. I'm better and stronger for everything now. Also, need I remind you if things didn't happen as they did I probably never would have met you."

"Well, I'm certainly glad to be here with you now," she said with a shy smile.

After they finished with their lunch, Kakashi walked with her towards her next class before he went on with the rest of his day. "I'll see you at ten, right?" he asked.

"Right. I'll be out of work by then."

"I'll come a little early."

"To torture me?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "Torture? I just want a special drink made by my love. Is that so wrong?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "If you mean special as in your ridiculous order from last time, I'm going to be sure I _punish you_ if you make me do something like that again…"

"Ooh," he said with intrigue. "Does punishment involve any removal of clothing?"

She rolled her eyes. "No."

"Handcuffs?"

"No."

"Leather?"

She sighed and glared at him. "Obviously, your idea of punishment is not my idea of punishment."

Completely ignoring her statement, he asked, "So, it's leather?"

She sighed. "Hopeless pervert."

" _Your_ hopeless pervert."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," she teased back.

They kissed goodbye and reluctantly parted to head to their next class. Sakura had chemistry lab next. When she entered, half of the stools of the long rectangular lab tables were taken already. The laboratory was typically set up to have two people sharing per each section of the lab tables. She went towards one that was still empty and plopped her bag on the table. Pulling out her notes and homework from her previous classes today, she figured she should try and keep working on problems until class started.

Sakura inwardly sighed, seeing Sasuke come inside the room. She had hoped he would have picked a different lab day than her. At least he probably didn't care to talk to her, so it really didn't matter. It was just his presence that made her feel irked, especially after what Kakashi mentioned about him. She started to fill in answers again, but to her surprise, she could see in the corner of her eye that Sasuke decided to sit next to her. She glanced at the other tables that were still empty. He could have sat somewhere else besides here.

"You're kind of disgusting," Sasuke muttered.

She looked up from her work to see him peering at her. "Huh?"

"You and him."

Her cheeks flushed with a mix of anger and shock. Instead of saying something, she decided to keep her mouth shut and ignore him. Was he seriously saying that about her being with Kakashi? Jerk. She went back to the problem she was working on, but he pulled the paper out from her hands which made the tip of her pencil break.

"What _the hell_?" she spat. She tried to grab the paper back, but he kept her hands at a distance with a single arm.

He looked over her answers and said, "You have two and seven wrong."

She made an attempt to snatch it back, but was still out of reach. "Whatever."

"I'm being nice and helping you out. So, did he do all your work in school back then?"

She froze and glared at him. "…What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I always wondered how in the world you managed second in our class. Now it makes a lot of sense."

Feeling her heart start to beat within her throat, she rose up to slam her hand down on the counter, making the glass instruments on the lab table shake.

"I do _my own_ damn work!" she yelled. She then lowered herself on the stool, seeing various pairs of eyes staring at them. Biting her lip, she was trying really hard to control her anger.

"Sure, right." Sasuke looked forward with a bored look on his face and then threw the paper at her without looking. "Well, I'm sure a quick BJ will have him fix your problems on there for you. I was just trying to save you some effort."

Her hands clenched. "…I do my own fucking work and we weren't together when I was in school. Who I'm with is none of your fucking business, anyway. Fuck off."

"Wow. So mean to me, Sakura- _chan_. I thought you used to love me?"

Trying to keep her composure, she muttered between her teeth, "...Move to a different table. _Now_."

He pushed his chair back like he was going to, but instead of getting up, he turned to her to lean in and say, "By the way, you can be a skank with whatever old loser you want to. I don't care. Does it turn you on he's old enough to be your father? Did your father used to fuck you, too?"

She slapped him hard in the face which made him fall backwards off the stool. Screeched sounds of metal chairs and gasps in the room sounded as people rose up to peer at Sasuke on the floor.

"What the hell is going on?" a voice from the front yelled out.

Sakura's eyes snapped towards a man, who she assumed was the professor of the class. He placed a stack of papers on the desk he was holding and folded his arms with a shocked look on his face. Her cheeks further burned the longer he stared at her in disbelief.

Sasuke slowly latched his fingers on the table to help him rise off the floor. Once he was up, he propped up the chair and whispered an inaudible curse at her before he sat down.

He looked forwards towards the teacher and said aloud, "I don't know what her problem is." He glanced at her and then raised a hand to the side of his pale cheek where a red-stained hand print was forming.

"You. Outside. Now," the man said, pointing directly at her.

Glancing around the room and having everyone's attention on her, she felt utterly humiliated as she pushed her chair back to get up. She fumbled with her hands as she walked quickly to the door that led out into the hallway. The teacher followed out after her.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Haruno Sakura," she replied weakly.

"I didn't see what led to that, but I can't have any kind of violence in my class. It's dangerous if someone gets pushed into something. There are poisonous chemicals in the room, glass objects and fragile equipment."

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean to. He was harassing me and… I guess I wasn't thinking…"

"You'll need to drop from the class."

"…"

Tears started to well up in the corners of her eyes. She wouldn't be able to pass chemistry without this class. "He started it! Why don't you make _him_ drop?" she argued.

"All I saw was you hitting him. I don't care what's all between you, but I can't take the chance of it happening again and it resulting into something more serious. I'm sorry. It's nothing personal."

"But-"

"Look, I'm not reporting this to the university or it could get a lot worse. So, just drop and try and to find a different time slot."

"Everything is full now. How am I supposed to find another lab?"

"You might find an opening after the week passes."

After a moment of silence she said, "This is so stupid. I don't see why he gets to stay."

"I'm sorry, but it is what it is. Go get your stuff, please."

Wiping her eyes, she hastily opened the door to the lab and went inside. Everyone hushed and stared at her as she stacked up her books from the lab table. She tried her best to look down and ignore everyone, but she was inwardly starting to crumble. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Sasuke made a small wave goodbye to her, making her feel even more pissed off. She gritted her teeth and shoved her stool back in place under the counter.

Once she was outside the lab, she forced the door closed and stomped off down the hall. The loud slam of the door echoed down the hall, making her feel so childish in doing it, but she couldn't stop herself. It wasn't something an adult should do, acting out in some tantrum like that. Nor was slapping someone, but she couldn't regret that. He deserved it. She started to fully cry now as she rounded the corner. Ignoring people looking at her as she hurried by, she couldn't stop crying. She couldn't believe this. There was no way she could not take this class. It was only offered in the spring. She couldn't wait a whole fucking year to take it again. She wouldn't be able to sign up for her sophomore classes that needed it as a base requirement in the fall.

All she could think about was how this was so stupid and unfair. Sasuke. What he said to her was just unbelievable. Anger flared up in her veins just thinking about it. With that thought, she stopped to punch hard into the brick wall of the hall. The moment she felt pain shoot throughout her knuckles, she realized how stupid she was doing that in the first place, but the blast of anger she felt subsided as she pulled back her hand. Some of the skin on her knuckles had been torn and was beginning to bleed.

Relaxing her now aching fist at her side, she sucked in a breath only to make her voice tremble out in crying more. She felt so immature. Nowhere else to go, she walked to the library and found a single table to sit at. Throwing her stuff on the floor next to her, she rested her head in her crossed arms. She would stay that way until it was time for her shift later.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Kakashi asked gently. His heart dropped in seeing her look down from him. It was easy to tell something was the matter the moment he walked in the coffee shop.

"I'll tell you later," Sakura quickly replied. The tremor in her voice certainly didn't sound like nothing.

"Sakura…"

She fixated her gaze on a key of the register and clutched the inside of her apron her hands were currently stuffed into. "Do you want to order something or not?"

Sakura felt so relieved in seeing Kakashi, but at the same time it made her want to burst into tears and throw herself in his arms. She was still at work and she couldn't leave yet. She had to pull it together no matter how she was feeling right now. All day she had been feeling so stressed at the possibility of having to retake the course again next year. Work was hell for her. She couldn't keep her mind focused and was messing up orders left and right. Her manager seriously asked her if she had forgotten everything since the break. It made her feel so embarrassed. Now, she was struggling not to cry.

He leaned on the counter. "Please… tell me what's wrong."

"Later."

"Why?"

"I can't right now, okay? I have to work and I'm just getting more upset," she said as her voice cracked.

Placing his hands in his pockets, he sighed and looked worriedly at her. "Can't you take off early?"

"No. I'm already in trouble for screwing up so much today. I can't."

He sighed. "Okay. I'll wait over there. I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded and slowly lifted her eyes to watch him take a seat in the corner of the shop. He looked sadly at her before pulling out his Icha Icha book.

There was no way he could read anything. He kept glancing at Sakura when she wasn't looking. She seemed so upset and it was killing him. What the hell happened? He didn't think it was anything he had done. So, what was it? He racked his brain trying to think what in the world could make her so upset since lunch. Was it about her mother? She had told him they weren't talking at the moment. Did something happen? Whatever it was, he was going to make sure he made her feel better no matter what. The fake smile she held up as she dealt with customers made him feel even worse watching her struggle.

Once her shift was officially over, she dejectedly walked slowly to Kakashi with her arms crossed. She stared at the floor. "Let's go home, please."

Kakashi closed his book he had yet to turn a page on and got up from the chair. He put his book in his pocket and looked at Sakura. She still wouldn't look him in the eye. He began to follow her towards the door, but saw her bandaged hand as she started to push open the door. He pulled her wrist to make her stop walking any further and pulled her towards him to have a closer look.

"What the hell happened?" he asked. Her fingers twitched as he grazed a thumb on top of one of her knuckles.

"I stupidly punched the wall," she replied.

"…Why?"

"…"

Sakura's only response was a sigh. She winced as she pulled her hand away and went immediately to push open the door that led to the outside. The cold breezy night air whipped her pink strands into her face. Catching up to her, he pulled the stray hairs away from her eyes, and placed an arm around her. He heard her begin to sniffle. " _Please_ , tell me what happened," he pleaded.

"Can we please go home first? I-I just really want to leave here."

"Sure," he replied back as calmly as he could. He held her more tightly, feeling her lean more into him. It hurt so much seeing her like this.

The drive home seemed like the longest hour in his life. She remained silent the whole time, looking out the window at the buildings and cars that passed by. When the amber lights of the street lamps faded in and out to highlight her face, he could see her brows furrow in trying to hold back from crying, but would quickly try to compose herself. He felt so helpless glancing at her, and had to stop himself from wanting to pull over to have her tell him right then and there what was making her so upset. She wanted to go home though. Their home. He could at least comply with her wish.

Kicking their shoes off at the genkan now, Kakashi wasted no time in pulling her towards the living room and making her sit down on the couch. "Please, tell me," he said.

She took in a deep breath. "Basically I was… I was kicked out of my class."

"What?" he asked completely stunned. He wouldn't have ever guessed something like this.

"I… I…" She began to cry in frustration. "I slapped someone. I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. I made… I made him fall to the floor."

"Who?"

"Sasuke."

He tensed. "…What did he do?"

"He just… was saying things like I was disgusting… a skank…" She paused to fight back her tears "And other crap. I know I shouldn't have hit him, but he got to me."

"No," he murmured softly.

She looked up at him through the blurry vision of her tears. "No?" she asked, confused.

"Saying things like that to you. He deserved it. If I was there… I sure as hell would have hit him."

She smiled weakly at hearing him say that. "Still…"

"I'm sorry he said that to you. No doubt it's because he saw us together earlier. I'm sure he doesn't have many nice things to say about me either. So, was he kicked out, too?"

"No… My professor walked in to see me hit him and… and he only told me to leave the class. It's just… It's just so frustrating because I don't know if I'll ever find another open time for the lab I need. I'll be basically held back a year if I can't. I-I don't know what to do. That's what upsets me the most," she grimaced.

"He's still in the class…?"

"Yes, but its fine…"

He sighed. "It's not fine. You were provoked. He's as much at fault as you are."

"I don't know, but I can't change anything."

"Making sure you two were just separated would have been fair for you both. I don't understand why you're the only one having to be forced to leave. That's just stupid. Who's the professor?"

"Well… why?"

"I'll talk to them."

"No… don't do that. It will just make it worse," she protested.

"But it's not right."

"Maybe I'll find another class… I don't know."

"That's only a maybe though. Who's the professor?" he asked again.

She bit her lip as she thought. It really would just make it worse, she figured. Kakashi had just started being an assistant and wouldn't that look bad on him trying to start something up among the professors there, especially given their relationship? She knew he probably didn't care about all that and had the best intentions, but she had to deal with this herself. "I don't want you to fight my battles, Kakashi…"

He squeezed her knee and sighed. "I want to help. I'm here not only to listen, but if I can help do something, I want to. You don't have to do anything alone."

"You being here with me is enough. It really makes me feel so much better just to talk with you. See? I've stopped crying…" She wiped her eyes to further show how she actually did stop a few moments ago. "Really… it's okay."

"Okay," he reluctantly said. He pulled her into his chest and leaned back into the couch holding her.

Kakashi really didn't agree with it, but decided to leave it there for tonight. She did seem as if she was feeling a bit better after telling him, which relieved him a little bit. Now he felt angry towards Sasuke and the whole ordeal. He wasn't sure what he would say if he saw him, or if he should even say anything at all. If he did, he wasn't sure if he could control himself in wanting to smack him senselessly. Even though she didn't tell him everything that he said to her, if it made her this upset and caused her to get removed from of the class, that was just too much to ignore. He had to do something. This was his fault, more or less. Why else would Sasuke go out of his way to harass her? It had to have been because of a personal grudge against him. Taking it out on her wasn't right.

"Hungry?" he asked, in hopes of changing the subject.

"Yeah, a little bit."

"I'll make something quick for us. It's pretty late as it is."

"Can I help?" she asked.

"If you want, but you don't have to. You did have a pretty bad day, after all. Why not just rest a little bit?"

"It will help me take my mind off things."

"Well, if you insist. If that's what you really want." He lifted her chin to kiss her softly. He meant it as just a simple kiss, but quickly found her tongue begin to swirl dominantly against his. Not that he was complaining. Every time she pulled back, she would tug at his lips, making him all the more want to capture hers again and again.

She broke away and couldn't help but have a goofy smile on her face. "That makes me feel better, too."

He returned her smile and slowly began to trail small kisses along her cheek until he heard her stomach growl. He chuckled and pulled away as she blushed with embarrassment. "Okay, let's get something to eat."

Giving him one last kiss, Sakura rose up from his chest and stood up from the couch. Briefly smiling at him, she left into the hallway towards the kitchen. Kakashi slowly stretched and sat up from the couch to follow after her in the hall, but he halted midway. Their bags they dropped near the door caught his eye. Glancing towards the kitchen, he went to open the side pocket of her bag in hopes of finding what she stuffed in there before they left earlier in the morning.

He pulled out a folded slip of paper and quickly opened it. It was her schedule, which was exactly what he was hoping to find. Finding the name of the professor of her chemistry lab, he refolded it and placed it back into the pocket. He couldn't just sit by and do nothing about what happened. How everything had been handled was just ridiculous to him and it wasn't right on any level. She might be mad at him later for intervening, but if he didn't try, he would be angrier at himself more than anything.

Also, if he had the luck of running into Sasuke… he definitely needed to say something, or do something. He just wasn't sure what.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um… No offense to Sasuke lovers. I have nothing against you. _*is beamed in the head by a cookie*_ :(
> 
> Well, not so many laughs this chapter obviously, but I have good news to up your spirits!
> 
> I made a one shot as a reviewer requested prize from FF.net. It's based off after Sakura and Kakashi leave from the Eiffel Tower and go to a pub to drink a little (a lot). Lolz ensue with Sakura. So, check it out on my story list (can be found on my AO3 profile - [Reason: Un Peu Bourrée](http://archiveofourown.org/works/487800))
> 
> Anyway, hope this chappy wasn't too disappointing. Review and let me know either way. Thanks!
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	30. Truths Are Never Far From Lies

**Chapter 30: Truths Are Never Far From Lies**

Kakashi momentarily looked at his phone again to check the time and then stuffed his hands back in his pockets. It was the beginning of his lunch break for his day, but he was willing to spare some time to try and find Sakura's professor instead of eating. Maybe it was a small blessing in disguise that he and Sakura couldn't have lunch today. Not that he liked the idea of going behind her back to try and sort things out for her, but until she was more willing to let him help her he didn't know how else to handle it. This just was too important for him to ignore - no matter if she wanted him not to help. Earlier in the morning after one of his classes, he looked up the office hours of her teacher that kicked her out of class, as well as what possible classes she could switch to. There weren't any openings, which she had mentioned to him last night, but she was still half-hoping that perhaps someone really would drop after a week. The chances of that happening were really slim because of the rare availability each spring. Not only was it unfair for her to have been kicked out in the first place, but the fact she wouldn't be able to take the course again until next year was even more of a problem. Didn't the professor realize that when he made her leave? Why would anyone do that to a student instead of working something out?

He continued to walk through the winding hallways on the fourth floor of the science building, glancing at each room number he passed by. Finding the door he had been hunting for, he gave it a quick and sturdy knock.

"Come in," a voice called within.

Taking in a breath, Kakashi entered inside and closed the door behind him. "Hello, you're Professor Seo Hisoka, correct?" he asked.

Looking him over, he guessed Seo was about five years younger than he was. Kakashi wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, that perhaps he was just inexperienced in handling classroom confrontations at a college level.

The man lifted his brown eyes up from his computer monitor with a raised brow. "Yes, how can I help you?"

"I need to talk to you about a student you removed from your class yesterday, Haruno Sakura."

He looked confused as first, then annoyed. "Oh." He looked Kakashi up and down. "Who are… You seem familiar…"

"Hatake Kakashi. Look, I'm going to get to the point. She told me about what happened yesterday and you really had no right to kick her out."

Seo acted surprised. "Kick her out? I did no such thing."

Kakashi looked at him in disbelief at first, wondering if he was being serious or not. "You asked her to leave."

"I asked her, as a _suggestion_ , to leave in order to deter from another confrontation, but that choice was entirely up to her. She could have stayed, but…" He turned his eyes back to the monitor and typed something in his computer before scrolling the mouse a few times. "Hum… As I see here, she opted to drop already, so it really isn't my problem anymore."

"Are you serious? You told her to pack up her books and leave the class. It wasn't a suggestion. I don't appreciate you trying to lie to me about it," he said in an accusing tone.

He glared at Kakashi then back to his computer. "I'm not lying. I'm not sure what she told you, but she was obviously upset. So, I told her to take off for the first day without any penalty, which I think is rather considerate of me. Also, as I said, I _suggested_ she drop and possibly try and switch to another class since she seemed to have an issue with another student."

"You didn't _suggest_ anything. You told her to drop the course without a choice."

"Were you there?" Seo asked, mockingly.

"No."

"How would you know?"

Kakashi let out an annoyed sigh. "Don't test my patience. How you handled it was completely off mark. The boy she hit, Uchiha Sasuke, is more to blame than she is for starting it. If you would have been fair about it, you could have at least heard them both out before deciding to kick her out."

"I did hear them both out and, perhaps you're deaf, but like I said, I _didn't_ kick her out."

Clenching his fists inside his pockets, he tried to calm himself down. "Will you cut the bullshit and be honest with me?"

"She obviously misinterpreted what I said and I'm sorry, but why exactly are you here? This really isn't your concern."

"It _is_ my concern, especially if there's a teacher who's blatantly abusing power."

"That's quite an accusation."

"It's quite the truth."

Seo sighed and looked back at his monitor. "Anything else you have to say? If not, I think we're done here. Feel free to leave and complain to someone who cares. Stop wasting my time."

"Like the university?"

"Good luck with that. Now leave, please."

Kakashi shot him one final glare before abruptly leaving out of the office. He swung the door, knocking it into the brick wall outside the hall and left it wide open as he left towards the exit of the building. His anger was steadily brewing after what he had just witnessed, but he was trying his best to calm himself down.

"Unbelievable," he muttered to himself.

Sakura wasn't a liar and she certainly wasn't blowing the situation out of context like Seo seemed to claim. The nerve of him trying to play off the whole thing like he merely suggested she leave the class was simply absurd. The fact that Seo could lie to him without a flinch was really unsettling. Kakashi knew this absolutely needed to be reported, but he couldn't do it without Sakura. She would need to tell them her side of the story. He inwardly sighed at the idea of having to talk with her about it. Letting Seo do this to people wasn't right on any level, but why? Why Sakura specifically? Did Sasuke's role in this have some kind of influence? Or was he just fueling the fire to something else? Perhaps Seo was biased against her?

All Kakashi could do was guess at this point, but for now he needed to convince Sakura to report it. If anything, maybe it would guarantee her admittance into a different lab. He figured she might be angry at first for him trying to help without her wanting him to, but he had to make her understand if it's something dealing with her, he couldn't just idly stand by and watch her get hurt by anyone or anything. Especially something as serious as this was. Perhaps she was afraid of him always "troubling" himself too much for her sake, but he was always glad to help in some way if it was for her. Didn't she understand that? He cared.

This was an awful way to start the New Year, but he figured it could be a lot worse. It just seemed like a bad coincidence having to deal with some jerk of a professor and Sasuke at the same time. He just really hated that Sakura had to go through something so stupid like this because of someone else. Hopefully things will start to look up once they reported it to the main office and were assured the rest of her semester would go smoothly. Sighing, he checked his phone and decided he'd have enough time to be able pick up a prepackaged lunch from somewhere. He wouldn't get to see Sakura until after his evening class today. Hopefully she was having a better day compared to yesterday, but this morning she was still understandably a bit depressed. Pulling out his phone once more, he decided to send her a text in hopes of brightening her day somehow.

* * *

Sakura's phone buzzed in her bag that was nestled between her feet under her seat. She was in the middle of class, but her mind kept wandering elsewhere and not so much on keeping up with her notes on the lecture. She didn't sleep very well last night and had been pretty grumpy most of the day. While working the morning shift at the coffee shop earlier, she felt so sleepy despite even drinking a cup after she was released from work. She couldn't shake off how worried she was about her class dilemma and just how incredibly rude Sasuke was to her. She tried to tell herself that words were just words, but it still hurt all the same. Now she was starting to dread tomorrow. She would have to see him again in her lecture class for chemistry. What would he say to her this time? She couldn't bring herself to drop that course as well. Not until there was officially no hope of finding another opening for the mandatory lab she needed. Everything that was weighing on her mind felt like a grey cloud hovering over her entire day that she couldn't shake off. It was all just so depressing.

Hunching over slightly, she sneaked her phone out from her bag to check her messages.

' _Roses are red,_

_Your punches usually make me blue,_

_Reading Icha Icha all day is sweet,_

_And so is fantasizing that every character is you  
^_~'_

She slapped a hand over her mouth trying not to fully burst into a giggle. _Only_ Kakashi would ever write something so sweet, corny and perverted all at the same time. She couldn't help but grin while feeling a spark of happiness for a moment. She felt bad for feeling so down last night and today when Kakashi was trying so hard to make her feel better. It was just one of the many reasons why she loved him so much. He truly was so amazing to her. Quickly typing back a response before she hid her phone again, she sent back:

' _Awe… that's romantic… in a highly disturbing way and I think we need an intervention about your porn habits. Luv you. See you at 8 after your class. :)'_

He replied back with a heart which made her smile even more. She tried to remind herself not to forget the positives around her. She had Kakashi. Even if she had to retake the class again in another year, it wasn't the end of the world. Certainly the whole thing didn't seem fair, but life wasn't fair sometimes. Inhaling a deep breath, she let out a relaxing sigh. She was feeling a lot better now realizing that things would be okay either way. She just needed to put on her big girl panties, if Kakashi didn't steal them yet, and just suck it up like an adult. No use moping about what she couldn't change.

After her class was over, she went off in search of Ino around the quad section of campus. She had made plans with her before the week started to have lunch on the days when she couldn't with Kakashi. Sakura was glad she and Ino would still get a chance to get together and talk after she had moved out.

"SAKURAAAAAA-CHANNNNNNN!"

Sakura winced at the shrill call of her name from a voice belonging to whom else but Naruto. He ran towards her in record speed. All she could see was a blur of yellow rushing towards her before she was twirled around in the air in familiar dizzying circles.

"N-Naruto," she sputtered out. "Dizzy. I-I'm _dizzy_!"

"Oops." He dropped her down on the sidewalk.

She rubbed her temples as she tried to regain her sense of balance. "One of these days you're going to make me vomit."

"Eh-heh. S-sorry, I was just excited to see you. I haven't seen you since you disappeared with Kakashi on Christmas Eve. Where did you guys go?"

"To France." A voice piped in.

Sakura whipped around to see a smirking Ino standing behind her.

"Really?" Naruto asked.

"Um, well, yeah. After Christmas," Sakura confirmed sheepishly.

"What! That's so awesome. You guys should have invited me," he said with a pout.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Three's a crowd, idiot."

He further pouted into a duck face. "But…"

"Just like it is now." Ino glared sternly at him. "Sakura, he invited himself along when I told him I was waiting for you. Oh, and Forehead! You didn't call me back last night so we could make lunch plans. I was waiting forever."

"Oh, sorry about that," she replied.

Ino linked her arm around Sakura and started to walk them down the sidewalk as Naruto hovered behind them. "Its okay, Forehead. I'm guessing you were busy having sexy times since you're deflowered now."

Naruto paled. "What..?"

"Pig, shut up!" Sakura hissed. "Don't blab."

Ino let out a bored sigh. "Fine. So, where are we going to go today? I like this one place that's pretty cool, but sometimes it's so busy I can barely hear myself."

"That wouldn't be a bad thing," Sakura teased.

Ino huffed. "Rude."

"Guys, I know where we should go!" Naruto said with a sparkle in his eye.

"No." Both Ino and Sakura said in unison.

He frowned and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his orange jacket in defeat, muttering to himself that ramen is underappreciated. Also that eating it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner wasn't wrong either.

They, well Ino, decided on a vegan place that she really liked. It was pretty cheap and had a fair selection of bento boxes to choose from. The restaurant was more of a take-out place since it only had about eight seats inside the tiny shop, so they decided to bring back their lunch inside one of the campus buildings to eat. The weather was still too chilly in Japan to eat comfortably outside.

Sitting in a triangle formation together now on the floor, Sakura couldn't help but smile at how this reminded her of how they used to get together like this for lunch in high school. It was a nice comfort to do this again and it was making her feel even better.

"So, did you and Hinata have fun at the festival?" Sakura asked.

Naruto blushed and suddenly shoved more food in his mouth.

Ino giggled. "Awe, I wish I could have been there to see that. I can't believe you guys finally hooked up. Poor Hinata-chan. You know how long she's loved you? Probably since kindergarten."

He blushed even more and though he looked like he was starting to sweat, he swallowed hard only to replace it with more food so he couldn't talk.

Sighing, Ino turned to Sakura. "He's so lame. Well, tell me about your love life instead, Forehead."

Sakura glared. "You already know enough."

"What about last night? Were you really having some smexy times? I forgive you for not calling me if so. You know, I still want you to have my Karma Sutra book."

Naruto started to gag.

"Ino, no," Sakura groaned with a blush.

"Awe… So, why didn't you call back?"

"I was upset at the time… I'm feeling much better though."

Ino hummed, tapping her fingers lightly on her bento box before making a gasp at a sudden thought. "Did Kakashi do something? I'll chop off his-"

"No, Ino," Sakura interrupted.

"Oh. What then?"

Sakura sighed. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Sa-kura-chan, whawt hoppened?" Naruto finally said, between his mouthfuls of chewing.

"You can tell us if it's Kakashi," Ino added.

Ino and Naruto both peered at her accusingly.

"It's not! He didn't do anything."

They still didn't look convinced.

"Ugh…" Sakura sighed. She didn't want them to make a big deal out of it and she wasn't quite sure what Ino would have to say about Sasuke since she used to be his number one fan back then. Their burning glares at her made her feel obligated to share though. Once she started to tell them all that happened yesterday, they both stopped eating about half way through her story and stared at her like she had just grown a second head.

"What… the flying fuck," Ino uttered in disbelief. " _Our_ Sasuke said that to you?"

"I'm kind of shocked, too," Naruto said after clearing his throat. "I know from experience he's an ass, but being that much of an ass… I almost don't believe it… I mean, I've never seen him try to start shit with girls before. That's low… real low."

Ino sighed. "Now I feel disgusted that I used to love him…"

Sakura sighed. "Well…"

"And what's up with your professor?" Ino jumped in. "He had no right to kick you out. For one thing, he deserved it. Second of all, why didn't he even talk to Sasuke about it? He just instantly booted you out? Fuck that."

"But it's his class. He can do whatever he wants," she reasoned.

"Forehead, he can't just kick you out like that. It's unfair and completely overboard."

"I said that to him myself. He didn't care and wanted me out."

"You should report it to the university."

"Report it? I don't know… that sounds like it's turning into a lot of trouble."

"You really should, Forehead. It's too fucked up not to."

"I don't know… Maybe a lab will open up and I won't need to worry about it. I really don't want to make an ordeal out of it."

Ino sighed. "No, that's stupid. You need to say something. If it has happened with someone else before, he'll definitely get into trouble for it. You can't let someone walk all over you. You're better than that."

Sakura shrugged. "But I just started going here… and I'm afraid if I make a big deal out of it, it might make the future professors I have think I'm going to cause trouble for them."

"You have a good reason to though. It's the right thing to do. No one would blame you for it."

"Sakura-chan, please tell someone at the university about it. I bet Kakashi-sensei would want you to do that, too. You told him, didn't you?" Naruto asked. He picked up the last few bites from his bento box as he looked up at her for an answer.

"Kakashi wanted to talk to my teacher about it. I didn't want him to though…"

Ino sighed and rolled her eyes at how absurd her friend was. "You're being silly, Sakura."

"I guess I am."

"So, you're going to report it then?"

"Yeah… since you two are so adamant about it." Sakura glared at them both.

"Good," Naruto said happily at her decision. He dropped his finished bento box on the floor and started to eye Sakura's.

Sakura sighed, knowing by that look in his eye that he was about to ask if she wanted the rest of hers. She slid her box to him. "I don't see how you can eat so much."

"And not get fat," Ino added.

"I'm hungry," he whined and then started to stuff his mouth again without a second thought.

After a moment of silence, Ino asked, "Sakura, are you sure you don't want my Karma Sutra book? It has enough positions to last for every day of the year. You guys could try something every night before you go to sleep! Or if you want, I guess you could do it in the mornings. That would be a nice way to wake up, don't you think?"

Naruto started to choke again and doubled over with a hand over his mouth.

"Stop trying to embarrass me," Sakura muttered with her cheeks burning red.

"I'm trying to help, jeez… and you didn't say no, so I'll just bring it on Thursday, kay? I'll mark my favorites for you. I'm kind of envious, I mean, you guys have a whole house to yourself. You could do it in the kitchen, in the shower, couch, backyard…"

"…"

Sakura tried to tune Ino out after the tenth place from Ino's long list of where she should do the deed with Kakashi. She almost regretted sharing the finer details of her trip in France with her, but she knew Ino was just happy for her and simply wanted to help in her own way. She just wasn't as frank about things as Ino was.

Neither of them would notice until a couple minutes later that Naruto had passed out on the floor.

* * *

Sakura yawned and flipped another page in her Icha Icha book. She was waiting for Kakashi's class to get out, which she hoped he might be lucky and get out early for the first night, but luck didn't seem to be on her side as the hour continued to pass without hearing from him. She hadn't seen him since this morning and was missing him like crazy. After her last class, she decided to finish up all her homework that was due the next day and just save today's work for tomorrow. She figured she didn't need to burn herself out by trying to finish it all at once.

Snuggling herself into one of the couches inside a quiet open computer lab, she hadn't paused from reading since she first opened her book. She was almost done and was so engrossed in the story as she neared closer and closer to the ending. She was starting to fear she was seriously going to turn into Kakashi by pulling out this orange book at every spare moment she had if she didn't finish it today. Everything that was happening in the story was coming to a climax (both literally and figuratively) and every time she tried to stop reading just to take a break, she couldn't bring herself to do it.

About three hours later she finally closed the book. She had finished it. It felt satisfying and yet sad at the same time. Now she wanted to read another one, which was a depressing thought. Kakashi had finally made her addicted to Icha Icha. The moment she started to memorize the whole book like he did, would be the day that all hope was lost for her in considering herself normal. She looked up from her lap and nearly jumped off the couch in surprise. Kakashi was sitting next to her. Clearing her throat, she asked, "How long have you been there?"

He lowered his book and gave her a happy eye crinkle of a smile. "Since an hour ago."

Sakura's eyes narrowed in skepticism. "Liar…"

Snapping his book shut, he looked sternly at her. "I'm dead serious. I _even_ said hello to you."

"No way! I… I would have heard you," she reasoned.

"You mumbled something in response, but you weren't really paying attention. So, I let you keep reading. Looks like you finished. Good, eh?" He smiled knowingly.

Sakura blushed at first, but tried to put on a poker face to reply nonchalantly, "Its okay."

"Just admit you love it. I think _you're_ the one who needs an Icha Icha intervention."

She pouted. "No, you do! I don't… fantasize that characters are you."

"Lies. Now tell me the truth."

Sighing, she stretched her stiff muscles and scooted next to him on the couch. She moved into his arms with the closed book still in her hand. "Fine. You were right. I love it. It's an amazing story and I like… um… the… porn here and there, too," she admitted with a hidden blush.

"You mean _romance_. And…?"

"And…?" she repeated, unsure what he was asking.

"You've fantasized me as one of the characters. Haven't you? At least once?"

Every time she glanced into his eyes while trying to decide her reply, her blush would further deepen as if he could read her thoughts on the various scenes she was thinking about. She was pretty sure he was grinning evilly under that mask of his. Nuzzling into his jacket, she tried to speak as low as possible by the chance he wouldn't hear her clearly. "…Maybe."

"A-ha! Which scenes?" He tapped his fingers lightly at her sides, hoping the threat of him tickling her might make her share quicker.

She grumbled and swatted his hands away. "I'm not going to say!"

"Please?"

"…No."

"Come on, don't be shy about it, Sakura," he coaxed, giving her waist a gentle squeeze. "You can tell me, please?"

"No," she said flatly.

"You're no fun." He sighed and mumbled under his breath that he'd find out sooner or later.

Ignoring him, she hugged him for a moment. "Were you seriously here for an hour?"

"No. I sneaked on the couch when I came up behind you and saw you were almost finished. It was really just only ten minutes."

"Humpf. I knew you were lying, Pinocchio," she teased and tapped the tip of his nose lightly with her index finger.

He grabbed her finger and interlocked her hand with his. "Hum… So, it seems you're looking a bit happier since this morning. I knew it…"

"Knew what?"

"Icha Icha can cure anything."

She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, your text really made me giggle. It was cute… and it helped me feel a lot better so, thank you. Sorry I've been in such a bad mood. I know I worry too much sometimes…"

Kakashi smiled. "You don't need to apologize. We all have our bad days. I would feel the same way, too, if I were you. I'm just glad you're feeling a bit better. So, should I send you more love poems?"

"If the mood strikes you," she said with a grin. "Also, I had lunch with Ino and Naruto today. I talked to them about… what happened yesterday and they made me feel a bit better, too. I wanted to ask you something though..."

His brow rose. "What's up?"

"Well, they really want me to report what happened. Do you think I really should?"

"Definitely. It's not going to hurt doing so and might even help your current class situation. I was going to try and talk you into it tonight, actually, but I'm glad to hear you've already been talked into it."

"Hum, I guess I'll do it tomorrow then."

"I'll come with you, okay?" he asked hopefully.

"You don't have to," she began to protest.

"I want to."

She glanced at his pleading eyes and then nodded. "Well… alright. If you really don't mind then I appreciate it."

"Not at all. I really want to share with them what I was told today along with what you have to say for your side of the story."

Looking confused at first, she asked, "Told?"

"Um, I know you didn't want me to… but I talked with your professor."

She frowned disapprovingly. "You didn't have to do that…"

"I know… I was afraid you might not want to do anything about it and I figured you probably wouldn't want to talk to him yourself. It's fine if you're mad at me, but I wanted to try and hear his side before doing something serious like reporting it."

Looking into his worried eyes, she shook her head and said, "I'm not mad. I just… don't want you to get too entangled in my problems and I don't know… you don't need to act like my parent and try to talk to my teacher for me…" She glanced down towards her lap, immediately regretting saying that.

"I'm not trying to act like a parent," he said softly.

She bit her lip in worry. "I don't know why I said that. I just mean…"

"No… I can understand how you can see it that way. I don't mean to. You're someone who I love, and who I want to support in whatever way possible, but I don't want to tell you what to do… I just care about you. If I can do something, I want to." He sighed and ran hand through his messy styled hair. "But me still doing it without you wanting me to isn't exactly fair to you. Maybe I am acting like a parent…"

She sighed and patted his chest. "Don't. You're not. You were right in wanting to. If the roles were reversed, I know for a fact I'd do the same."

"Even if I said no?" he teased.

"Yep," she replied with a reluctant grin. "It's just that I guess I need to get used to letting you help me and not feel bad about it. Mainly that's why I didn't want you to. So… what did he say?"

"He said that he didn't tell you to drop. I told him I knew that's not how it happened and to tell me the truth, but he kept denying it."

She blinked and looked up into his eyes, wondering if she heard right. "What? Really? He said that?"

"He said he merely _suggested_ it. He's just trying to cover his own ass by lying about it if we bring it up to the college, I think. I'm not entirely sure what his motivation is… or if he knows Sasuke in some way and was just doing him a favor…"

"I can't believe he'd say that. He told me flat out to drop."

He noticed her starting to look discouraged again. "It will be okay. Even though he's lying we should still tell the university about it. When there's a dispute between teachers or students, they try to be as fair and unbiased as possible to fix the situation for both sides. Hopefully they will do something about getting you into another class. So, don't worry for now, okay?"

Slowly, she nodded. "You're right."

He hugged her briefly before asking, "Ready to go? Want to just pick up something for dinner tonight?"

"Sure, if you'd like."

Kakashi sat up from the couch and pulled her up. After they gathered their things and exited the lab, he stole the book still in her grasp and started to thumb through it. "What about the scene on page 242?" he asked.

She snapped from her thoughts to give him a weird look. "Huh? What about it?"

"Did you imagine me in that one?"

Narrowing her eyes at him, she replied, "It's not like I have the pages memorized like you do."

"Oh. It's when they were floating in water and she took his coc-"

She slapped his arm. "No! Now stop guessing."

"…"

He flipped through a couple more pages and started to point out a paragraph of the book as they walked. "What about-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

He whined sounding much like a puppy would. He didn't understand why she was being so shy about it. Nothing would make him happier than to learn more about any and all fantasies she had. After a few seconds of silence, he asked, "Sixty-nine scene?"

Sakura let out a disgruntled sigh. "No."

"Well, I highly recommend we try that…"

"…"

She pouted as her cheeks turned crimson.

Kakashi grinned at her blush and asked, "How about we try… _Tonight_?"

"…No."

"Tomorrow?"

"No."

"Day after that?"

"No."

"Day… after that?"

"No."

"…Now?"

"…"

"So cute when you blush."

She snatched the book from his hand and started to smack him repeatedly with it. "No! Now stop asking me something like that, you damn pervert!"

He sighed and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I'll change your mind later," he vowed.

* * *

The next morning Sakura's good mood broke when she woke up and realized she would have to see Sasuke today in her lecture class. She couldn't help but feel a little afraid of hearing what he might say. She felt stupid for feeling that way. Who in the hell cared what he said? His opinion didn't matter. But words still hurt all the same and she wasn't sure if she could ignore it. What if she lost her temper again? That's what got her into the stupid mess with her lab teacher.

Kakashi kissed Sakura's forehead after he found a parking spot near the campus. "Are you okay?" he asked. "You've been really quiet the whole drive up here."

She tried to smile. "I'm okay."

"Are you worried about making a formal complaint to the university? It's the right thing to do…"

Glancing down at her lap, she sighed. "No, it's not that so much. I'm just worried about class…"

"Class?"

"My lecture class."

"Why?"

"Sasuke's in it and… I haven't seen him since I slapped him. So, I'm kind of worried what he might say or do…"

"Sakura, why didn't you tell me he was in that class, too?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

He sighed. "You shouldn't go if you're going to feel uncomfortable. Maybe just skip today? Then let's just go straight to the department office and issue a complaint. Maybe they can switch you out of that class as well."

"We have homework due today…"

"Drop it off, then just leave? You can do that. They will still accept it while you take an absent day."

"But then I'll miss whatever the new homework might be."

Tracing a finger along her face, he pushed back a strand of her hair that had fallen over her eyes. "You're worrying too much. Just explain what's going on and I'm sure the professor won't have any problem telling you what the next assignment is when you drop off your work."

"Well, okay…" She frowned for a moment and then looked towards Kakashi with a sudden question. "Wait, you're not going to skip your class, are you?"

"Sakura…"

"…Yes?"

"Stop worrying."

Her frown turned even sourer.

"If you keep frowning like that you're going to get wrinkles."

Her frown switched to a glare.

Kakashi held back a chuckle. "Your eyes might get stuck that way…"

Then she started to frown and glare at him at the same time. The way her nose was wrinkled, she looked like she was constipated, but he wasn't going to say that. Actually, never mind. He was going to say it anyway.

He slowly started to open his car door and whispered, "Now you look constipated."

Before she could respond, he was already out of the car and had closed the door behind him. He kept spam pressing the lock button on the small remote to his car that was attached to his keys so she couldn't get out right away. He kept her locked inside until there were several parked cars between them. He wasn't being a coward, he reasoned. He was being smart. Placing his keys into his pocket, he watched her get out of the car and cursed something at him before she closed the door. She couldn't hide a smile from him though when she started to chase after him. They probably looked like lunatics running through the parking lot, but it was fun and his plan to keep her mind off of looming troubles was working.

Once they were starting to get near the rushing crowds of students inside the main areas of the campus, he let her catch up to him. She huffed and latched a finger to the loophole of his pants, making sure he didn't run off again.

"You're a jerk," she wheezed between breaths.

He gave her an eye crinkle of a smile and started to pull her forward. "Let's hurry to your class before it starts. Then we'll go to the main university office, okay?"

"Okay."

Letting her lead the way, they went inside the science building and quickly up the stairwell to the floor where her lecture class was. Encouraging her of what he said before to tell her professor, he waited outside and watched a few students walk past to enter the classroom. He stole a glance inside the room every time the door opened. She was talking with her professor, but that wasn't what he was looking for.

Kakashi looked down the hallway and searched as many faces as he could until his eyes found who he was looking for. Glancing one last time towards Sakura in the classroom, he stepped away from the door and went straight towards Sasuke. The closer he got, the more apparent the displeasing scowl was plastered on Sasuke's face when he realized who he was.

Once Kakashi stepped in front of him, Sasuke halted in his tracks and sighed. "Let me guess, you're here to warn me, right?" he asked.

"Warning? Consider it _friendly_ advice. Have a problem with me? Fine, but don't take it out on Sakura. She doesn't have anything to do with it."

"Like I care. You and that stupid bitch can go fuck yourselves."

Kakashi glared. "What the hell is your problem?"

"You."

"Over something that happened years ago? Pretty sad you haven't matured _at all_ since then. Think your brother would be proud of you?"

"Go to hell. Don't talk as if you knew him," he spat. "You're the reason that I'm stuck here."

"I don't follow."

"You wouldn't. Want me to stop messing with her? Too bad. I'll talk to whoever I want. Whenever I want. However I want. This isn't junior high anymore. You don't control me."

Pushing Sasuke back with his forearm, he shoved him into the wall which made a few passers-by stare. "No, it's not, but if I hear of you hurting her in any way again, I'm not afraid of doing what I need to get through your thick skull. You can't treat people however you want to out here in the _real_ world. You'll have _real_ consequences."

Sasuke made a half smirk. "Wrong. I have more connections here than you realize. I'd love to see you try something. You'll just end up paying for it." He shoved past Kakashi and made his way down the hall.

Kakashi didn't realize how long they must have been standing there until he saw Sakura standing awkwardly outside the classroom with a worried look. She began to walk down the hall towards Kakashi, casting a glare at Sasuke as he nearly shoved past her as well.

Sighing, she stopped in front of Kakashi and glanced behind her. "What happened?" she asked. "It looked like you were about to beat his ass… not that I would have minded," she added.

"Well, I wanted to find out what his deal was; he's changed even more since I last spoke with him. I just don't understand why he's so pissed off to act like this, or what his logic is in acting like a jerk towards you." He sighed. "I know it's a pain, but I think it's for the best if you switch out of this class as well."

She nodded. "I don't mind. Better chances of avoiding confrontations for everyone that way."

"Anyway, get everything squared away with your homework that you were worried about?"

"Yep, he was really understanding."

"Good. So, let's head down to the main university building and see what we can do about everything."

Kakashi took her hand and headed towards the stairs. He was thinking in the back of his mind the entire time why Sasuke was acting like this. Was he seriously holding a grudge against him for forcing him off the team so many years ago? Maybe, but he didn't think it would be this extreme. Most of its members went off to different schools based on their skill level and depending on the programs offered in the college. Their school had become renowned for winning a lot of titles individually as well as team wise, so many had a lot of opportunities to go to certain prestigious schools. Tokyo was considered one of them, but Sasuke was here. So that couldn't be it, but he was admitted because of how well he did scholastically. Perhaps it was something else entirely. Either way, Kakashi couldn't help but not care what was up Sasuke's ass. He just wanted Sakura to be left alone. Making sure she switched to different classes would solve the problem and make sure she wasn't harassed by him.

In the office now, Kakashi watched Sakura's knee bounce up and down where they sat. He was starting to fall into a trance watching it bobble before abruptly stopping. She moved uncomfortably in her chair and switched feet, tucking her other foot behind her ankle beneath her chair. Now her left knee started to bounce.

"Nervous?" he asked.

Her knee stopped for a moment as she glanced at him. "Not really, well, kind of. Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

"Trust me, it will be fine. Here." He handed her his current Icha Icha he randomly picked to bring today before they came to campus. "Reading Icha Icha cures nerves..."

She rolled her eyes. "What else can it cure?"

"Sadness, upset stomach, hunger, headaches, cancer, world famine…"

"So full of it," she murmured, snatching the book from his hands anyway.

He grinned at her and checked the clock in the office. They had been waiting for about ten minutes now. The office seemed a bit busy as there were a couple students waiting around in the office along with them, most likely to have last minute fixes in the schedules or help with something else. When it was finally their turn, they were both greeted by the faculty coordinator of the school. Getting straight to the point, they told everything that had happened without missing any details. The advisor seemed surprised about the professor's actions to Sakura, but said there wasn't much they could do about it if he kept the story he told Kakashi. All they could do was keep the formal complaint on file since there weren't any witnesses to back up her claim. Kakashi figured as much, but he was hopeful maybe someone had complained about him before. No one ever had before apparently, which he thought was very unfortunate.

Not much could be done about Sasuke either, but they took the harassment claim seriously. The advisor helped Sakura switch her schedule around so that she wouldn't have to be in the same class as him. Apparently for all the marked closed classes, there were a few spots that were reserved mainly for sophomores or higher, but they made an exception for her. Kakashi felt relieved and by the way Sakura's stiff back looked more relaxed now in the chair, she did, too.

"See? It wasn't that bad. They couldn't do too much, but at least they could fix your schedule. Feel kind of better now?" Kakashi asked, as they stepped outside into the quiet walkway.

"I do," she said with a small smile. She sighed and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Thank you for coming with me… though you really didn't need to skip your class, too."

"It's not a big deal. I'd rather be with you," he replied, honestly.

She smiled. "And I'd rather be with you, too."

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Chapter 30 - was my original prediction when I'd be finished with the story.
> 
>  _*laughs maniacally to self*_ Totally overshot that. Overshot like… throwing a football… and the ball flies past your teammate, flies past the goal line, flies past the stadium into the parking lot, flies into a car where it bounces over various vehicles until it tumbles into the highway and gets ran over by an 18-wheeler.
> 
> It's hard to guess how many is left, but there's an end goal. Believe it. _*fist pump*_
> 
> Btw, another fun fact is that my dream to slowly convert the world into KakaSaku.
> 
> To spread my love for KakaSaku-ness like peanut butter on a jelly sandwich. Creamy peanut butter, which you say you don't want, but you do. Oh yesh, you do.
> 
> Shhh. _*holds my finger to your lips*_ Don't speak. 
> 
> Just take my KakaSaku peanut butter jelly sandwich and eat it. I don't care if you're allergic to peanuts. You eat it and love it.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	31. Too Little, Too Late

**Chapter 31: Too Little, Too Late**

"Why are we in this aisle?" Sakura asked, trailing behind Kakashi as she pushed the grocery cart. "I thought you didn't like sweets very much? Now you want to make something?"

"Depends on the occasion," he replied nonchalantly with a slight grin forming beneath his mask.

"Hum…" Her bottom lip formed a questioning pout as she folded her arms over the handle of the cart. Slowly, she kept following behind him as she watched him search through the aisle at a snail's pace.

After they came home after classes today, they didn't realize until they started to search the kitchen to prepare dinner that they had completely run out of food. Instead of picking up something, they decided to make an impromptu grocery run to the store. They had never been grocery shopping together before and Sakura couldn't have ever guessed how different they were in just how they shopped. He preferred to go down every aisle and she would rather just decide on what they should have for dinner for the next few weeks and just get that. He was taking _forever_ looking through each row. Maybe he was torturing her on purpose?

"You're such an old man," she muttered with a sigh.

"Why? Because I like nuts?" he asked, tossing a bag of diced nuts he just picked up into the cart.

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "No, you're so slow. I would have been out of here ages ago."

He shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he continued to comb through each shelf on the aisle. "I don't remember what all I need."

She sighed. "That's why you make lists."

"I never have before and I usually can't read what I write anyway."

"Your handwriting _is_ pretty terrible," she teased.

He smiled and turned over his shoulder to ask, "So, you're volunteering to make grocery lists then?"

She huffed. "You just want me to do it because you're lazy!"

Turning back around, he sighed and searched through a few boxed packages. "If I was lazy, I'd be sitting in that cart and forcing you to push me."

"Ha ha," she said dryly. "Hey, why are you making me push the cart anyway?"

"No reason."

"Cause you're lazy," she muttered accusingly.

"Maybe." He tossed another item into the cart.

She picked up the package he just threw in and furrowed her brows. It was a package of chocolate sprinkles. "What are these for? Are you really planning to make cupcakes or something?"

"Maybe."

She sighed at his vague answer and continued to follow him as he trudged ever so slowly. Getting annoyed at how long he was taking, she pushed the cart into his butt trying to make him move faster. "You're such a turtle."

"Fine, then. If you push me anymore, I'm going to fall on my back and never get up just like a turtle." He began to walk even slower which prompted an aggravated groan from her, making him chuckle. After they left the baking aisle, they went towards the dairy section and picked up a couple gallons of milk and a few other dairy products. He went off further into the section and tossed a can of whip cream into the cart.

"What are you going to make with that?" she asked.

"Um, those cupcakes you mentioned?"

"Oh, well… don't we need cupcake mix? You didn't pick any up."

"Not when you're the cupcake."

"…Uh, what?" she replied back, puzzled at his words.

He had his mask on, but she could tell he had the biggest grin ever beneath by how happily his eyes were creasing. She bit her lip in thought, and then suddenly gasped at the realization of what he was implying. How didn't she catch on to what he was up to until now?

" _Oh_ , God. You're not serious."

He fought back a laugh from the shocked look on her face. "You _did_ promise me."

She flung the cart at him hysterically and yelled, "No way!"

He gently stopped it and arched a brow. "No? I _clearly_ remember you betting you would. Promise is a promise."

She blushed and averted her eyes from his. "I… We… Can't we just forget about that? I-I was irritated when I said that!"

"Nope," he replied simply. "Now… where are the cherries?" he murmured under his breath, grinning even more at her blush as he started to walk towards the fruit section, leaving the cart behind. He wondered to himself if he'd ever get tired of teasing her. Probably not, it was too much fun.

Sakura reluctantly started to push the basket and follow after him. The wheel of the cart began to stick, chirping painfully along the way as she was starting to blush more and more at the thought of having to seriously act out that scene from Icha Icha. She had hoped he would have forgotten about it, but she knew better. As if he would forget _anything_ like that. She had to wonder to herself why she foolishly proclaimed she would do it. It was a joke! Mostly a half joke. It wasn't so much the fact she wouldn't mind doing it, but she couldn't stop the embarrassment she felt by just imagining something like that, and when she was embarrassed she felt nervous. Even the memories of all the things they did in France made her blush. She couldn't help it. She couldn't quite understand why she felt that way, but she did.

Glancing at the back of Kakashi as he weaved around people to the fruit stand, she sighed from her thoughts and kept following him until he stopped at a section. She forced a frown at him when he held up a package of cherries next to her cheek.

"Your face matches the cherries," Kakashi mused.

She sighed. Of course he never failed to tease her about it. "Shush," she replied, swatting the box away until he dropped it in the cart.

"What?" He nudged her shoulder. "It's cute."

"No, it's not," she mumbled, trying to keep a straight face and ignore his playful pokes to get her to smile.

"It's _very_ cute," he said warmly.

"…"

She folded her arms and pouted.

He grinned. "It's cute when you pout, too."

"…"

She narrowed her eyes at him and then abruptly turned around to hide her face where a smile was beginning to form.

Kakashi chuckled. "And your butt is also cute."

"Ugh, damn it. I hate you." She spun back around, startled to find him right in front of her.

He pulled her into his arms. "It's also _really_ cute when you say that, because you and I both know it's not true."

"Yeah, well…" She sighed, unable to think of a retort. "Fine. Now stop teasing me, damn it!"

He squeezed her and smiled. "But… it's fun."

"Not as fun as me punching you - _where it hurts_ ," she gritted the last part between her teeth.

He swallowed hard and released her. "Your threats… not so cute."

She smiled happily with a hum and kissed his cheek. "You and I both know you love it."

"Maybe," he confessed.

Grabbing his waist, she turned him and pushed him towards the cart. "It's your turn to push the cart."

He started to protest, "But-"

"There are a few things I want to get, but I'm not as slow as you, so keep up! _Turtle-kun_."

In an instant, she slipped into the crowd. He blinked, thinking to himself perhaps he shouldn't have toyed with her earlier for his own amusement. Hopefully she wasn't going to keep calling him _Turtle-kun_. He went off towards the area where she disappeared to. The moment he caught sight of her pink hair, she would vanish again into a different aisle. He smiled at their game and tried to remember the last time he actually had fun in a grocery store of all places. There was no doubt in his mind how much he loved feeling this way. To feel happy about even the little things they did together. How did he get so lucky in finding someone like her in his life?

* * *

After Sakura dropped a handful of grocery bags on the kitchen counter, she immediately went to the couch in the living room to fall down face first with a sigh. She felt so exhausted. First week of school was officially over and the fact she would have to do it all over again next week wasn't a pleasant thought. She couldn't have ever predicted it being such a hectic week. Apart from dealing with school drama and moving in after they got back from France, she hadn't had a weekend yet to relax. The sound of her phone ringing from inside her purse broke into her thoughts. She groaned at the feeling it might be her mother who normally would call around this time. She was the last person she cared to talk to right now. She was so tired of dealing with stupid drama this entire week.

"Want me to get it for you?" Kakashi asked, emerging from the hallway after locking up the front door.

She mumbled something inaudible into the seat of the couch.

"Is that a yes?" he asked with a low chuckle.

Turning her head, she sighed and lifted her hand from the couch. "I suppose I should see who it is first."

He bent down to her purse that was on the floor and unzipped it to pull out her phone. He was about to zip it up again before something caught his eye. "Oh… what's this?" he asked curiously.

Sakura's cheeks burned as she watched him pull out the Karma Sutra book Ino forced her to take yesterday. Darting from the couch in hopes he hadn't read the title yet, she made a grab for the book, but he pulled it just barely out of her reach. "I-It's not mine!" she stammered embarrassedly.

" _Sure_ it isn't," he chided with a grin, holding it high above her head. "Here's your phone." He accepted the call for her and quickly tossed it in her hands before she could protest.

Sakura let out an annoyed groan as she watched him start to flip eagerly through the book. Finally placing the phone to her ear, she said hello calmly into the phone. Her pout grew when she found that it was indeed her mother on the other end. He simply smiled at her as she made failed attempts to grab the book back – all while still trying to have a conversation with her mother on the phone. Giving up, she watched him stalk off into the kitchen. Sighing, she shifted her attention to what her mother was saying. It was the first time they had really spoken since she blew up at her about not returning her calls she missed when she was away in France. It probably would have helped to tell her about the trip in the first place, but her mother had no idea exactly how serious she was with Kakashi. She really wasn't happy about her being with someone so much older than she was as it is. For that reason, her mother was still oblivious that they had just started living together, much less anything else.

Much to Sakura's surprise, her mother actually called to apologize to her. She admitted she needed to let Sakura have more space, but that she meant well in worrying about her. She explained it was just hard being without her daughter every day and was still getting used to the idea that she needed to let her become more independent now. She went on to say that she missed her very much and reminded her that they've been together since the day she was born. Sakura felt a little bad hearing her say that. She had no doubt how lonely it must be for her mother right now without her being there. Just having nothing but work to pass time during the day was hard enough, but coming home to an empty dinner table would be all the more of a reminder how lonely it was. She wondered for a moment how Kakashi dealt with being alone for most of his life. Kakashi never mentioned much about what it was like to be on his own, but it _had_ to have been hard. It would be for anyone. He didn't even have family to rely on growing up.

Kakashi placed the final item of their groceries in the refrigerator and lingered by the archway leading into the hallway, trying to make out any words he could hear from Sakura's conversation. He felt a little guilty forcing her to take the call, but he was worried Sakura might have wanted to ignore it knowing she wasn't on good terms with her mother right now, which made him feel even guiltier. It was mostly his fault after all. It seemed like no matter what he did, there was always a double edge to it. He wanted to be with her, but at the price of creating a strain on her family. He wanted to live with her and he knew all the reasons why he should have just waited, but he couldn't. Maybe it was because he loved her so much, or because he knew she was the best thing in his life, but no matter the reason, he just couldn't stop himself from following what he felt in his heart. He wanted to be here for her, take care of her, and be a part of her life in every way. She made him feel whole again and he just couldn't push something like that away for convenience sake.

He sighed and went to sit at the dinner table. Life was never easy, but he kept hanging on to the hope that things will work out in the end. Picking up the book he stole from Sakura earlier, he started to browse through. He had read the original translated Karma Sutra long ago, which goes beyond just a few sexual positions, but explores Indian history and culture. A lot of it was a bit mundane, but since that book was published there were plenty of modern versions mostly playing off the original Karma Sutra name, like this one in his hands that mainly focused on just positions with some nice illustrations of each. From the blushed look Sakura gave him, he certainly doubted she would actually ever buy something like this. It was probably from Ino. Not that it mattered. He was going to make sure to put it to good use. His brow rose curiously at a few circled pages he stumbled over. She didn't mark the ones she wanted to try, did she? He looked up from the table to see Sakura crossed armed and pouting at him. She looked more worried than embarrassed for some reason.

"Something wrong? I know something that can fix whatever it is," he teased in a thick, alluring voice. He tapped the book lightly with his fingertips with a grin.

She rolled her eyes and grumbled, "I told you… it's not mine!"

"Uh-huh," he replied, acting clearly unconvinced.

"Anyway…" She leaned against the archway and looked down for a moment. "I kind of have some good news…"

"Kind of?" he asked.

"My mother just called to apologize and, um, agreed she would try and give me some more space."

"Oh, well that's good news, isn't it? No disrespect to her or anything, but she seems kind of uptight."

"Yeah, I know. She just… means well. I don't know if she'll keep her promise to not flip out so much if I don't call her back right way, but the thing is…" She let out a depressed sigh. "She wants to come up next weekend to kind of make up for things and wants to see how well I'm living. She of course still thinks I'm living with Ino…"

"Oh..." He paused for a moment. "Ino won't mind if you drop by for a day when she comes to just say a quick hello inside and leave, right? So, there's nothing to really worry about."

"Ino already has a new roommate moving in with her _this_ weekend. I can't ask her just to leave for a whole day, so I don't know how that will work. I also tried to have my mom not come at all, but she insisted." Sakura groaned in despair.

"Ah, I see…" He leaned back in his chair and scratched his hair in thought. "If you ask Ino, she could talk to her new roommate to just play along like she's just a friend visiting, can't she? Or maybe just leave for a couple hours. I bet Ino could work something out."

Sakura sighed. "I suppose I will have to, but I can't help but feel bad. It's a lot of trouble for them just for my sake."

He shrugged. "Don't feel bad about it. It's either that or telling her the truth."

Shaking her head, she replied, "If she finds out we're living together already she'll… I… I don't know what she'll do."

"You know, I should finally talk with her when she comes. She knows I live here since we're together."

"I don't know…"

Sighing at the worried look on her face, he placed the book down on the table and waved his fingers towards her. "Come here."

Slowly, she made her way into his inviting arms and he pulled her into his lap. "I have a feeling this could all end up in an epic catastrophe," she mumbled.

He briefly kissed her neck and said, "Don't worry. Whatever happens, it won't be the end of the world. Just like with this week, whatever comes our way we'll deal with it. I know you're worried… and I really understand how important it is to you for her to accept us. We don't need to tell her just yet we're living together, but I really need to talk with her. If she just understands how I feel… and what you mean to me, she'd have to understand."

Sakura formed a weak smile at the corners of her lips and nodded. "You're right, I know. I'll make sure we'll all get a chance to talk at least when she comes. I just hope she doesn't find out anything else before then, but I guess we'll see what happens…"

Kissing him on his cheek, she moved her fingers up towards his neck to play with the ends his hair. He smiled brightly at her for a moment. "Why are you smiling?" she asked.

"Just looking at you always makes me smile," he said tenderly.

"You're so cheesy," she teased.

"And you love it."

She smiled and tilted her head. "Maybe."

Returning her smile, he lifted a hand from her waist to open the Karma Sutra book once more. "So… about this…"

She sighed and whirled around towards the book to try and steal it from his grasp. "I told you! It's not mine!"

"Stole it, huh?" he teased.

"Of course not! Ino gave it, well, threw it at me against my will..."

"Hum…" He moved her hands away and started to flip through the pictures until he settled on a page. "Well, this certainly gives me _lots_ of ideas."

Glancing at the illustration, she blushed and turned away. She didn't say anything, but the glare in her eyes was familiar in whenever she playfully said she hated him.

"There you go looking cute again," he noted at her blush with a grin.

"S-Shut it," she stammered back.

"Why don't you pick a few? Or… were those circles your idea?" he asked hopefully.

Her blush managed to deepen even more. "N-No."

She attempted to get up, but he hitched his hands at her waist to bring her back down into his lap. "Why are you so shy?" he teased.

She shrugged and averted her eyes. Even she wasn't quite sure why she was either. Their trip in France was certainly an eye opening experience about the wonders of sex. She couldn't deny that she loved every moment of it. Not just how it felt, but being so close with him on a different level, but now that they were back from their whirlwind of a trip, she seemed to have lost her courage again. Somehow it just seemed easier to get lost in the moment when they were in France. Maybe it was because of the breathtaking surroundings or just being so far away from all the worries back at home. Whatever it was that was different, she figured she was probably over thinking everything and psyching herself out. They hadn't had a chance to do anything intimate since they had returned from their trip. Between moving and dealing with school, sex really hadn't been much of a thought to her. Now, the more she thought about it, the more she was starting to get nervous again. Ino wasn't helping with her constant chatter all week about what she should try. She had also grown to love reading Icha Icha now, but she had to admit the sex scenes in the book still managed to make her blush from time to time. It made her feel rather silly. She finally had _some_ experience with it and she still felt embarrassed about it.

This was the first weekend they finally had to themselves to just unwind. She didn't understand why she felt this way at first, before realizing it was because she was still new to it all. She couldn't be like Kakashi or Ino with just being so comfortable about everything. It's just that she just wasn't used to her sexuality just yet. Thinking of it that way, it made more sense why she sometimes felt the way she did.

"Well…" she began to say, returning her fingers into the silvery strands of his hair. "I think because, um, I'm just not used to being so open about things like that yet. I mean, it's not like I don't want to... if that makes sense. I just can't help but feel kind of self conscious and… well…"

"No, I understand," he softly interjected.

"You do?" she replied, feeling a little relieved.

"Besides that I do find your rosy cheeks _very_ cute." He pretended not to hear her grumble at calling her cute for like the fifteenth time today, and paused to pinch her cheeks which made her playfully smack his hand away. "You know, when we first started to kiss, you'd blush each time, right?"

She immediately sputtered out, "No way! I wasn't that bad."

He shook his head and stroked a finger lightly down the edge of her jaw. "Oh, trust me. Yes, you were."

"No."

"Yes."

"No…"

"Yes…"

"…"

"…"

"Look," he laughed. "You're more comfortable with me now. Sex is a whole new level to explore. I know I tease you a lot, but I just want to be encouraging. Besides the fact I also love giving you a hard time…"

She glared. "All the time."

"It takes a while to get comfortable with someone and in time you will. So, don't worry so much. Just let things happen and let go. You have a seriously bad habit of doing that."

"I can't help it," she grumbled back.

"And that's just fine. I love you for who are, you know."

"I know," she replied with a coy smile.

"You can always trust me no matter what. Just relax and open up a little," he said in a soothing voice. He tucked a fallen strand of her hair back behind her ear and grinned. "So… which ones?" he asked.

She gave him with a puzzled look. "Which… what?"

He pointed the book. "Which ones?" he asked again.

"Ugh. Didn't we just finish talking about how I'm…" She sighed at the blank look on his face as if they didn't just had a conversation how she was shy about that stuff. "You're a pervert and I hate you."

"Hey, I'm just trying to be encouraging," he reasoned, smiling to himself.

She further glared at him. "Hate you."

He pulled her closer and started to kiss lightly at her neck. "Still?"

"Your little kisses aren't going to help."

"Oh, really? I think I've proven time and time again that my kisses help plenty," he replied back, not believing one word out of her mouth. He slowly licked with the tip of his tongue at the base of her neck, and then began to slowly explore the sensitive area behind her ear, making her shift in his arms from the tingling feeling he was causing to creep up her spine.

"T-They do not," she muttered meekly.

"Liar," he whispered huskily. She had to stop herself from wanting to shiver at the way he just spoke into her ear. Tugging at her leg, he repositioned her on his lap in a straddling position which made her give an embarrassed laugh.

"I know what you're up to," she said with an accusing look.

Settling his hands at first to her hips, he slowly moved them to the inside back of her shirt and started to massage along her spine with the tip of his fingers. "I'm trying to make you relaxed," he said innocently.

"So you can have me pick something from that book?" she asked, leaning into him more to rest her chin on his shoulder. She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the soothing strokes of his fingers along her back.

"Or… I am kind of hungry," he teased.

She was about to agree she actually was, too, but then remembered the intent of the dessert supplies he picked up at the store. She was really hoping he was just making a long-winded joke about it and just put the items back later, but of course he never did.

"Ugh, you're impossible, Kakashi."

He simply grinned as she sat upright to playfully glare at him. The sudden shift in her position on top of him caused him to grunt perhaps a little too loudly than he meant to.

"What, me just sitting here makes you aroused already?" she asked.

"Sitting like that, um, _of course_ ," he replied.

Tossing her hair away from her face, she leaned in just enough for her nose to touch the tip of his, locking her eyes with his lustful stare. "You made me sit this way on purpose."

He blinked. "Well, the book might have suggested it…"

"…"

Kakashi grinned and stole a quick kiss before she had a chance to back away, making her yip in surprise.

"Ugh, why you…" Instead of finishing her sentence, she cupped her hands along his stubbly cheeks to bring her delicate lips to his. Small kisses turned hungrier and before she realized it, her hands seemed to have a mind of their own, sneaking in beneath the front of his long sleeved shirt. Gilding her hands from his lean torso, she let out a small groan as he hoisted her more forward into his lap.

"See? Told you my kisses help," he murmured.

"Look, this isn't fair. Holding me down like this."

"I'm not forcing you." To prove his point, he held his hands up, but thrust his hips lightly forward, making her moan again.

"I hate you," she mumbled.

"Because I'm right?"

"N-no," she stammered back, trying hard to pretend she wasn't being affected by the way he was touching lightly up her stomach.

"Oh, so, I should just stop trying then?" He started to nip along her collar bone, making her head fall further back the higher he began to kiss up towards her neck. "So, is that what you're saying?"

"Um… what was the question?" she asked, being half-serious.

He made a smug smile and kissed lightly along her jaw. "Just say I'm right, or I'll stop."

Torn at not wanting to admit he was right and between how seriously intoxicating his kisses were, she remained silent, hoping he would just forget about it and keep going, but then he halted. She groaned in disappointment.

"Admit it," he whispered.

The few seconds that passed made her skin feel cold without the warm feeling of his lips to tease her. Unable to endure waiting any longer, she quickly said, "Fine. I admit it. Now, kiss me."

Before he had a chance to comment on being proud of her for not being as stubborn as usual, she crashed her lips into his. All his thoughts were instantly switched to just the feeling of her lips against his. He pulled her even closer to feel her pressed against his body. Still not satisfied from wanting to feel more of her, he inched his hands along her smooth waist and began to pull up her shirt. She lifted her arms up to let him easily pull it up and over her head. After tossing it on the table, he wasted no time in wanting to spring her breasts free and unhooked her bra, making it slip from her shoulders and fall down towards the floor.

Sakura cooed feeling him begin to suck, bite and tease around her hardened nipples. She almost wanted to laugh at how her thoughts barely a few minutes ago of being intimate like this made her feel embarrassed. He always seemed to make her stop thinking and just feel. Right now, she was certainly grateful for it. Arching her back, he dipped her back far enough to lick her up and down along her chest like she was a Popsicle, making her utter smalls gasps and moans. Once she was sitting upright on top of him again, she tugged his shirt up, kissing along his skin until it was completely removed.

"Sit up a sec," he urged. She complied, letting him unbutton and unzip her pants, yanking them down over her hips until they fell towards the floor. He glanced at her bright purple, lacy panties for a moment. Moving his thumbs to feel the outer edges of them, he commented, "Those seem new…"

"You haven't seen me in these before. They are kind of new," she replied with a knowing smile.

Seeing the see-through lace stretch over her hips and around towards her backside, he slipped his hands to feel her bottom. "Turn around."

She blushed. "Huh?"

He made a circle motion with his index finger. "Turn around, I want to see."

"Oh." She slowly stepped away from him and turned to reveal him the back, which was just as lacy in the front but even more see through. She figured he would probably appreciate it. Feeling him lightly smack her ass, she whipped around and yelled, "Hey!"

He chuckled sheepishly. "Um, reflex," he poorly lied.

Rolling her eyes, she let him pull at her wrists to straddle him again on top of his lap and pulled her in close to give her a deep and tantalizing kiss. She groaned into his mouth, feeling him shift slightly beneath her, caressing his hands over her chest to cup and squeeze her breasts tenderly.

Looking up into her mesmerizing green eyes for a moment, he whispered softly, "So, beautiful."

She flashed him a shy smile and responded, "And you're quite-ah," She gasped at the sudden pop he made from her nipple. "Handsome."

Gripping the back of the chair around the sides of his waist, she couldn't help herself from grinding her hips slowly against his. His feverish kisses were making her body start to yearn more and more with need. Clutching her eyes tight, a guttural moan left her throat as she began to rock harder against him. She was basically dry humping against his pelvis, except she was pretty sure she was soaking through her panties as this point, so there really wasn't anything dry about it.

"Kakashi," she pleaded.

"Tell me what you want, baby," he groaned back, slipping both his hands inside the back of her panties to press her even more against him.

"You inside me," she said quickly, hoping he wouldn't decide to torture her relentlessly.

Much to her delight, he began to unbutton the top of his jeans. She stood up just enough to give him room to pull down his pants to the knees, his boxers soon following after. His hardened length sprang forth, which she began to touch.

He groaned and snatched her panties down, eager to finally quench his desire to have her right then and there. Then he remembered what he was doing and cursed for almost even forgetting. "Ah, Sakura. My wallet. Can you grab it? Back pocket," he said, feeling a little helpless in his current position to get it himself.

Already knowing what he needed, she grabbed it and pulled out a condom. After opening it and rolling it on for him, he forced her quickly down on his lap again. He grunted, feeling her rub herself along his length. Knowing he couldn't wait any longer, he hoisted her up, helping her guide himself within her slick entrance. Once he was fully inside her, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and urged her on, squeezing her thighs lightly with his hands.

"You feel so good," she cried out, feeling like she had never felt him so deep within her before. Slowly, she lifted her hips and started to thrust forward. After finding a rhythm, she panted and whimpered, clawing her nails lightly against his chest as she steadily rode him harder and faster.

"S-Sakura," he hoarsely stammered.

He wasn't sure how his mouth managed to even formulate any words. He was already about to lose his mind at how wonderful she felt, rocking wildly against him like there was no tomorrow. A small worry crept up at him for a moment, thinking there was no way he was going to last until she reached her climax first. Shortly after that thought, he felt her walls clench around him, making him suck in a breath. She came and came hard. Her thrusts slowed dramatically, but never stopped as she cried out his name from her high. He quickly joined her, whispering his love to her in his final moment of release.

Both of them panted heavily, struggling to catch their own breath. Sakura tiredly slumped over onto his sweat covered chest as she tried to remember how to work her lungs again.

"See?" he asked suddenly.

"See… what?" she replied back, unsure what he was going on about. She wondered if he was trying to further prove his point how he could make her forget about everything once he started to kiss her.

Kakashi reached an outstretched arm behind her, pushing her back slightly as he held her with his other arm, making his fingers slowly pull the book off of the table and into his hand. He picked it up and quickly thumbed through the pages to find one depicting the exact position they were in right now. "Good things come out of choosing something from the book. So, your turn next," he mused.

She sighed as she glanced over the book. "…So, you _did_ pull me into this position just have me pick something."

His face instantly turned blank. "Yes."

"…"

She couldn't tell if he was joking or not and proceeded to glare at him. Still, he remained an expressionless enigma. "Argh, fine. You've proved your point. I'll pick something from that damn book, okay?" she grumbled and snatched the book away he dangled in front of her, making him chuckle. She slowly sat up, pulling free from his body, making him shudder a grunt in response.

He watched her walk calmly and still completely naked out of the dining room and into the hallway.

"So, wait," he called out. " _Now_?"

Not hearing a reply, he hastily pulled up his pants that were still at his knees and scrambled up the stairs after her.

* * *

Sakura paced around the living room as Ino watched her walk in circles around the couch. Reaching a hand out, Ino clutched Sakura's arm and sighed. "It's going to be fine," she assured. Seeing that her friend wasn't responding, she added, "Kakashi was right…"

Snapping out of her thoughts, Sakura looked up at the blonde not realizing what was preventing her from pacing. "Huh? Right about what?"

"He told me you'd probably be a nervous wreck before he left."

Sighing, she shrugged and eventually nodded in agreement. "I know, but I can't help it."

"My roommate won't be back until later and she's cool with everything. So, everything's going to be fine. Your little dirty secret will be safe," she said while playfully sticking out her tongue.

Jabbing a finger at her friend's stomach, Ino squealed away as Sakura went back to pacing. She couldn't believe the week had passed by so fast. She had been so swamped making up coursework she missed by switching classes, she didn't have any time to really plan for this weekend. Now, here she was waiting for what seemed like eternity. She knew she needed to calm down, but she couldn't. Not only was she worried that her mother would figure out that she wasn't living here anymore, but she still needed to ask if she would be willing to meet with Kakashi. She figured it would be better ask after they left and went out shopping, and then casually asking if she would be willing to. Unless she found out that she was indeed living with him of course. Then there was no way that would be an option. She didn't need to tour the whole place, so it should be fine. Right? Right.

A knock interrupted Sakura's thoughts, making her jump. Ino simply rolled her eyes at her and told her not to look so freaked out or her mother will certainly know something's wrong. She knew Ino was right. Sucking up the last bit of her worries with a quick inhale and exhale, she joined Ino in answering the front door.

"Hello, Okaasan," Ino and Sakura both greeted.

Her mother smiled and returned a polite hello. "Seems like forever since I've seen you both," she began to say.

"Oh, it's been awhile," Ino agreed.

"By the way, your mother says hello Ino and sends her best wishes. They really miss you at the shop back home."

"Thank you, I certainly miss them, too," she replied back with a smile.

After Sakura's mother entered inside, she gave Sakura a firm hug before proceeding into the living room. "Oh, this is a pretty place," she commented, looking around.

"Ah, yeah it's smaller than our house of course, but it suits us just fine, right, Ino?"

Ino nodded enthusiastically. "Yep! So, um, I don't wanna keep you guys here for too long from a long day of shopping."

"I'm in no hurry," Sakura's mother said, setting her purse down on the couch. "Do you have some tea? I'd love to catch up with you both for a little bit."

Sakura spoke up, "Oh, sure. Um, we have some oolong…"

Ino began to shake her head no.

She bit her lip in thought. Did Ino and her new roommate drink it all already since she moved out? She tried to think what else they had left. "Um, jasmine…"

Ino furiously shook her head no.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at her friend and asked, "Oh, I forget. What do we have, Ino?"

"All we have is green tea left," she replied, nervously twirling her blonde hair with a forced smile.

"Right. Is that okay, Mom?" Sakura asked.

"Sounds good. Been awhile since I've had that," she replied.

"I'll make it!" Ino volunteered, quickly sprinting off towards the kitchen.

Sakura nervously watched her mother start to explore the living room. Not much was changed since she left. The decorations and pictures she had up before were of course gone, but a few things remained in tact such as curtains and a few kitchen supplies she wouldn't be needing anymore. Her mother wiped a finger on the window sill and rubbed the dust away from her finger. Sakura was surprised she didn't say anything, given she was kind of a neat freak. Maybe she really meant it in trying to give her more space and not be so nagging about every little thing towards her. She felt a small glimmer of hope maybe she would take talking with Kakashi very well.

"How are your studies going?" her mother asked as she inspected more of the room.

"Oh, pretty well. Kind of been hectic for the last two weeks, but I'm staying on top of everything."

"Good to hear. You know, once you're in medical school it's going to be a lot harder."

"I know, but I'm sure I can do it."

Her mother gave a knowing smile and said, "If you set your mind to it."

Sakura held her breath as she watched her mother turn and start to inch closer towards the hallway. "Is this one your room?" her mother asked, pointing towards Ino's door that was closed.

A feeling of dread just dropped into her gut. "Uh…"

"Tea's done!" Ino rushed in the living room with a small pot for them to share along with three cups. Once she placed them on the coffee table, she patted the couch as an invitation for them both. "Take a seat."

Sighing in relief as her mother went to the couch, Sakura felt so thankful Ino came just at the right time. In the back of her mind, she was slowly figuring there was going to be no way in hell to explain the bedrooms. Her mother knew what things she took with her. She would certainly realize if it was someone else's belongings. She had to make sure her mother didn't enter inside any of the rooms at all costs.

Everyone chatted for awhile as they enjoyed tea. Her mother seemed to be really trying hard to be pleasant and not ask too many questions, but only things just to learn about how they've been living and about the university. Her mother hadn't even mentioned or asked about Kakashi at all, which was probably a good thing for now.

"Are you sure you wouldn't want to come along shopping with us, Ino? It's really no trouble," her mother said, as they were preparing to leave.

"I appreciate it, but no thank you. You two have fun, okay?" she replied with a smile.

Sakura mouthed the words _'thank you'_ to Ino as they left out the door. Before they went shopping, they decided to tour the university first since it wasn't very far from the apartment. Walking around the main path of the college, she pointed out a few buildings such as where she worked and the classes she had so far. They went inside a few to show how truly massive the place was and the amazing architecture. There were so many things Sakura wanted to say that were pressing at the tip of her tongue, but knew she couldn't. Like the building where she and Kakashi first met… their first kiss… the very first cafeteria they ran in the rain to on that first day. Those were the kind of precious memories she cared for most and felt such sadness in her heart that she couldn't share things like that with her own mother. They were important to her. _He_ was important to her. Why couldn't she just say it? She sighed.

"Something on your mind?" her mother asked.

"Oh, I was just thinking…" She tried to think up of something quick. "Um, any certain place you'd like to get lunch at?" she asked.

Her mother hummed in thought. "We can just go to one of the shops in the mall. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah, sounds good," she said with a forced smile.

After they left the university, they took a cab to one of their favorite malls they had been visiting for many years now. It was a four story mall, so it had a nice large variety of clothing and food shops to choose from. Most of the time, back when she was in junior high and high school, Ino would come and her mother would give them some time alone to do as they pleased. They always had a lot of fun together trying on silly clothes and just talking about anything and everything. It was amazing to her once they entered inside the mall, how things seemed so different now. It wasn't so much the stores that had changed, but just thinking about how she's changed since the last time she was here. Back then, she was still living at home and going to school with classmates she had known for almost all of her life. Even though college was an important change, the greatest one of all was certainly having Kakashi in her life. She smiled warmly to herself at that thought.

It was already late in the afternoon, so they were both pretty hungry and quickly decided on a restaurant they both knew pretty well that was on the west wing of the mall, tucked out of the way in a quiet corner away from the main floors of the shopping center. After they were seated at a table, she debated if she should really ask her mother to finally meet with Kakashi. She was worried. Really worried what she might say or if she agreed, what if it went really terribly?

Her mother folded her menu and placed it at the edge of the table. "So, Sakura… Now might be a good time to talk about things."

Lowering her menu, she hesitated at first before saying, "Oh… like what?"

She sighed. "Everything… First of all, like I mentioned on the phone last week, I'm really sorry how I've been since you moved out. I know you're growing up and I'm going to try and give you some space. I know I call a bit too much… I'm also really sorry how angry I was when I didn't hear from you."

Sakura shook her head. "It's okay. Really, I understand and I'm sorry for... not calling back right away. I'd be worried, too, if I didn't hear back from someone for that long… so really, don't be sorry about that. It's my fault… so, I'm sorry."

"It's alright honey," she replied with a sad smile. "It will take me some time. I feel a little guilty in being kind of… maybe a little unfair to you, but I just love you and I don't want you to make mistakes. I know sometimes you have to just let people go so they can learn on their own. It's what being an adult is after all."

"Mistakes," Sakura murmured. She couldn't help, but think she was implying Kakashi. What else would it be? Starting to feel a bit nervous about asking about him, she bit her lip, pretending to be looking over the menu again. After the server took their orders, she proceeded to keep staring off into the distance past the glass to watch various people walk by.

"Are you okay?" her mother asked.

Glancing at her mother's green eyes, she wanted to say that she was, but every nerve inside her body said otherwise. She wanted to just tell the truth. He was the best thing in her entire life and the only other person she loved didn't approve. As much as she didn't want to admit it, it hurt knowing that.

"I'm okay," she finally replied. "But I do want to talk to you… about Kakashi. He's important to me… more than you really know."

Her mother sighed and repositioned her hands from the table to her lap. "Okay, I'm listening."

"I understand you think I'm making a mistake about him… I get it and I appreciate you letting me still date him though you don't agree with it."

"Yes… well, honestly I don't really have a choice with you living here. It's not like I can stop you. I just don't want you to end up how I did, Sakura. Throwing your life away for someone who just ends up using you…"

"Is this about… Dad, when you say that?"

Her mother fell silent at first and then said, "The only good that came from your father is you, Sakura."

Sakura sighed. "Kakashi isn't like that… and he's more than just someone I'm merely dating."

"What are you saying…?"

"He means _a lot_ to me. It's not just some fling between us. It's not like that. We're both really serious about each other and it being a long term relationship…"

Her mother looked down and began to fidget with her silver bracelet, looking as if she was trying to process what she just said. "I see…" her mother replied in a disappointed sounding tone.

"That's why I really want us to just sit down and talk. I want you to get to know him before you judge him."

"I do know him, Sakura."

"No, you don't…"

"I'm very much aware who the Hatake family is. I could tell the moment I saw him pick you up that day. That mask he wears… I've seen pictures of him lots of times in the news in the past. He's made a lot of contributions to your school. So, I know you didn't just meet him here, Sakura…"

"I didn't know him then. Not like I do now."

"I'd hope not."

Sakura sighed and folded her arms against the table. "He's a good person."

"I'm sure he probably is. Everyone I've talked to who knows him speaks very highly of him."

"Then, what's the issue?"

"I just think you're in something that's way over your head. To be so… infatuated with someone so quickly and even going so far to say you love him. You're still too young and I really don't know what influence he has on you and that scares me the most. Yes, you're starting to be an adult now, but he's in his thirties, Sakura. He's in a different part of his life compared to yours."

"He's not doing anything to me. He loves me and I love him. Yes, he's slightly older than I am, but that doesn't matter. Can you just please meet with him? I know you think I'm making a mistake and you always will for as long as we're together. I don't want you to. I want you to trust me."

"If I meet with him and still think it's a mistake, then what?"

"Then I won't ask you anything more about it. It will be your opinion… and I'll just respect it. In the end, it's still my decision to be with him and he's always going to be a part of my life. That's why it's important to me for you to least give us a chance, because it's really tearing me apart to know you feel like this… "

"It will really make you that happy if I speak with him?"

Sakura slowly nodded. "He really wants to as well."

"I see…" She sighed. "Well, okay then, but I can't promise anything..."

"Thank you. Do you think… maybe going out for dinner tonight would be okay? You're staying at a hotel tonight, right? And won't be leaving until tomorrow?"

"Right and dinner tonight would be fine."

Despite the tense talk they had during their lunch, the rest of their shopping day went pretty well. Sakura was glad that the shopping helped keep her mind off everything for a little while until they returned back to Ino's apartment. She could tell how hard her mother was really trying to be understanding, but she didn't know what to expect at dinner tonight. Worst case scenario it would end up going very badly. At least they could get everything off their chest and not feel like they'd have to sneak around her mother anymore. If it went really well, perhaps she could tell her mother about their trip together to France… and all she learned about his family there, but probably should still wait holding off information like that as well. Her mother would most likely be mad no matter what that they were living together, but maybe she would understand by the time they came down during the summer so Kakashi could teach. Just maybe.

Once they were back at the apartment, she saw from the entryway that Ino was still by herself and was watching TV in the living room. She was glad her roommate wasn't back just yet. She hoped by the time they left for dinner, they might avoid her just to make sure there weren't any complications to tip her mother off she wasn't living here anymore.

Before Sakura had a chance to lock the front door, her mother started to push open Ino's bedroom door.

"I'll set your bags in your room," her mother offered.

"Uh, wait!" she scrambled to say, trying to hurry and jiggle the key out of the door.

Her mother paused as she had the door open enough to see inside. "Oh, sorry. This one must be Ino's."

Sakura watched in horror as her mother turned around and walked into the next room.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	32. My Heart's Broken in Two

**Chapter 32: My Heart's Broken in Two**

Time seemed to have stood still the moment Sakura's mother opened her old bedroom door. The words that left Sakura's lips to prevent her were long forgotten in the heavy silence. Instead of moving like her brain was telling her to, she stood frozen in the middle of the hallway, her weight straining on one foot from suddenly halting in a mid-run towards her mother. Every nerve in her body was screaming to just run the other way and never look back, but she couldn't move. She swallowed hard as she watched her mother step inside. Her mother didn't say anything at first, but simply stood quietly with their shopping bags still dangling in her hands as she peered inside.

Sakura glanced at Ino to find her frozen in place, too, except she was half-way climbed over the couch in a failed attempt to reach her mother in time. They looked at each other briefly, then to her mother. After a moment, Ino slowly sunk back down onto the couch. She could tell by the look on her blonde friend's face this probably wasn't going to end well.

No one made a sound until her mother said, "Um… This is your room, Sakura?" she asked hesitantly.

Sakura's voice seemed to be caught in her throat. She wasn't sure if she could even manage attempting to formulate any words. Not knowing what to say, she reluctantly hummed in agreement and bit her lip. Her mother gave her a questionable look at first, before turning her attention back towards the room.

The door creaked as her mother gently pushed it open even more and then fully stepped inside the room. Sakura's heart began to flutter as she followed behind her inside, looking down at her hands that she had suddenly interlaced together out of nervousness. The gears in her mind were turning as she tried to frantically think of what she could possibly say in defense. Maybe her mother would just think she randomly bought a couple new things and wouldn't question anything?

"What happened to all of the art and decorations I thought you brought here?" her mother asked.

Sakura remained fixated on her hands as she tried to think of a convincing explanation. Having no idea who Ino's friend was, there was no way to predict what her old room could have possibly been turned into now. Hesitantly, she looked up at her surroundings, and then slapped a hand quietly to her mouth to hide her sudden gasp. She glanced at her mother who thankfully missed seeing her do that. How in the hell could she pretend this was her room? The entire bedroom was like the purple explosion of Barney the Dinosaur. The walls, the rug on the floor, bedding… _everything_ was purple. Christ, even the open closet had various shades of purple clothes inside. Ino's friend must have been obsessed with the color on every level. Sakura didn't have anything against purple in particular, but to completely match the entire room to it was certainly something she would never do. Not only that, but a lot of the decorations followed a general theme of stars. She liked stars, but not in every corner of the room.

Her mother turned at her with a puzzled look. "This is seriously your room, Sakura?" she asked.

"…Yes," she replied, immediately feeling like she was digging her own grave each time she proclaimed this Twilight Zone was her room. Her mother simply stared at her, until Sakura finally averted her eyes to the floor.

Dropping the bags on the floor, her mother sidestepped around them and began to look at a few photographs that were pinned to a corkboard on the wall. Of course… none of them had Sakura in it. However, a girl in purple was prominent in most of them. She had short black hair with dark eyes. From the look of her, she seemed to be of Chinese descent. Where did Ino meet this friend of hers? Another class? She looked nice enough from the pictures. It was just too bad she obviously didn't have anything in common style wise with this girl.

Her mother huffed. "Sakura, do you think I'm an idiot? It doesn't even look like you live here. Whose room is this?"

"Um…" Her eyes looked everywhere but at her mother's. Her face suddenly flushed as she sputtered out, "I-I decided to completely change my decorations…"

"It's insulting when you're lying to me, Sakura…"

"…"

Sakura folded her hands behind her back and turned away. How was she going to get out of this? She was so screwed.

"I know the other bedroom must be Ino's. I've been to her house plenty of times to know what her stuff looks like, Sakura. Now, what the hell is going on? Are you not living here?"

"O-Of course I do," Sakura protested, feeling her heart begin to hammer. Still avoiding her mother's gaze, she could feel her eyes burning a hole in the back of her head. Each lie that managed to escape her lips made her gut start to twist more and more in knots.

"Look at me, please," her mother commanded.

Slowly, Sakura turned around and forced herself to look her mother in the eye.

Her mother folded her arms and scowled. "Tell me the truth Sakura, or so help me God… Why have I been helping you pay for rent if you're not even living here?"

She glanced down at the floor again. "I… I just…"

"Sakura… Are you living with _him_?"

Her heart stopped.

"No…" she impulsively lied in a faint voice, feeling herself on the brink of crying. Why in the hell couldn't she just accept all hope was lost and tell her the truth? Why was she so terrified of just admitting everything?

" _Sakura_ , look at me," her mother spat out.

She hated hearing that tone in her mother's voice. It was a kind of tone she knew all too well, that she was in trouble. She mentally sighed and tried to prepare for the worst. Slowly, she hesitantly looked into her mother's eyes again. She looked angry. Really angry.

"You are, aren't you?" her mother proclaimed. "I can't believe you, Sakura! How could you do something like this? Have you lost all your common sense? Do you realize how much of a disgrace you're bringing to our family by doing that? You're supposed to wait until you get married. I trusted you-"

"She's not!" Ino suddenly cut in, bursting into the room from inside the hall. Sternly looking at her mother with conviction, she added, "We didn't want to tell you, but a friend of mine didn't have a place to stay, so, Sakura and I both agreed to let her live here with us as long as she could pay her share of rent. Sakura and I share the other room since we've known each other forever and don't mind sleeping together."

Sakura's mouth slightly dropped at what Ino had just said. Would her mother seriously believe something like that? Ino gave her a look that she should say something.

Not knowing what to do, she tentatively looked at her mother and sputtered out, "U-Um, yes. I'm sorry… I figured you might be mad for giving away my room to someone, but I really don't mind sharing with Ino. Her friend was, uh, really in a bind. It works out just fine for us and even makes living here even cheaper. Most of the stuff I have is just in storage for now..."

Her mother looked back and forth between them both, looking really unconvinced.

"Look, I'll show you our room and prove it to you," Ino added quickly. Picking up the shopping bags off from the floor, she motioned them both to follow her across the hall. Sakura murmured a silent prayer to herself hoping that Ino knew what the hell she was doing.

Ino placed the bags on the bed and bent down underneath to pull out her spare futon that she would keep for guests. "See? We take turns sleeping on this since the single bed is small… and, um…"

She darted to the closet and opened it. Shuffling a few hangers around, she reemerged with several blouses and skirts that were Sakura's.

Sakura silently fumed realizing now that she hadn't been crazy in thinking she had been missing some clothes after she moved. Ino had completely borrowed them without asking. What was it with people stealing her stuff? At least Kakashi stopped stealing her panties, but of course she was pretty sure he still went through them despite them living together. Her thoughts suddenly wandered in thinking about what exactly he did with them. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know… or maybe she did. Mentally wanting to slap herself, she sighed at how now certainly wasn't the time to think about that. Right now, she should be thankful that her blonde friend was a klepto when she saw her mother's expression soften.

Her mother let out a calm sigh. "Oh, I see. I wish you would have told me first thing when you decided to do this. I'm sorry I… I jumped to conclusions."

"It's… fine. I'm sorry," Sakura muttered, feeling worse and worse.

Ino forced a reassuring smile to Sakura, but it was far from feeling assuring to her. She was just slowly lowering herself even further into her own grave. All these lies were just going to implode later. She wasn't sure how conservative her mother might have felt about her moving in with him, but to this extreme was the worst reaction she could have imagined. Saying that she was bringing disgrace to her family… now there really was no hope she could still live with Kakashi in the summer. Unless she didn't tell her mother she was staying in town, but the chances of running into her or any of her mother's acquaintances was high. The thought suddenly pulled at her heart to just tell her mother everything. Let her be a disappointment and just give it up already. Least she would be happy.

"Mom… I want to talk to you about something." Sakura glanced at Ino.

Ino gave her a pitiful look and faintly shook her head in disapproval.

"I'm sorry about everything…" Sakura began to say. "But what you said about me living with Kakashi…"

"Sakura, I'm so sorry. I should have known you would never do something like that, I apologize. This is exactly why I just…" She sighed with a shrug. "I just need to calm down about things."

Sakura suddenly looked at the floor before asking, "Well, what if I did move in with him? In the future…" She looked up to find her mother's expression change.

"Why?" her mother asked.

"Because… we want to be close to each other…"

"No," she replied flatly.

"Why?"

Her mother groaned. "What do you mean, why? He's a grown man. You are just barely turning into a young adult now. Jesus, Sakura… Are you telling me you've been seriously considering doing this? Because you're sharing a room with Ino right now?"

"No! I… it doesn't matter that I am. We just want to be together."

"How _far_ are you in this relationship with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you having sex?"

Sakura's cheeks burned. She wasn't expecting her mother to ever ask that. It was looking even worse with the long pause she was taking, trying to come back with a reply after being stunned by the question.

Her mother gave her a wary look. "This is what it's all about, isn't it."

"W-what?" she stuttered back, still unsure how to even respond to her first question.

"Why he wants to speak with me. Why you both do."

"Huh?"

"Are you pregnant?"

Sakura let out a shocked gasp and shrieked, "No!"

Ino's eyebrows rose from what was being said between them, but made a point to keep her mouth shut for now. She could only feel sorry for her friend for now and watch.

Sakura's mother touched the base of her forehead and took in a deep breath. "Thank God…" She looked up to her daughter again. "You still didn't answer the first question."

Biting her lip again, Sakura sighed in frustration. Didn't her mother realize that most people her age had lost their virginity by now? Who cares if they were living together either. A lot of couples do it now. It just seemed so stupid to get so worked up over something that didn't seem like a big deal to her. It was one thing to just be with someone and not take the relationship seriously, but she did. Couldn't her mother understand that?

Sakura let out an annoyed groan. "Look, why does it even matter?"

"It matters. I thought I knew you better to wait," she replied furiously.

"To wait for what? The right person? I have. He's the right person."

Her mother let out an aggravated sigh. "Damn it, Sakura… I can't believe this. I knew it. I _knew_ something like this would happen. What else is he going to take away from you?"

That struck a nerve in Sakura. Clutching her fists, she spat back, "It's not like that! Who cares if I am with him? We love each other. That's all that matters. Didn't you tell that to me once? That's what marriage is about. Loving and committing to each other? And we do! Also, many people my age live with their boyfriends. This isn't old Japan anymore. Who in the hell cares if we're living together now!"

"What!" her mother shrieked.

Sakura's eyes went wide, realizing too late what she just said. "I mean _if_ we were living together…"

"…"

Without saying another word, her mother bolted out of the room and went outside the front door of the apartment, slamming the door behind her shut. Sakura just stood there feeling a bit stunned... and scared out of her mind. Lightly touching the base of the necklace around her neck that Kakashi had given her, she suddenly wished he was here right now. Fighting back the burn of tears, she wondered what in the world could she do now. What was running through her mother's mind? Did she hate her forever now?

Sakura suddenly felt Ino hug her tightly and sigh. "Forehead, you should have kept your mouth shut."

"I know," Sakura groaned back. "I was just trying to ask her hypothetically…"

"I tried the best I could to convince you were still living here… which might have worked."

She sighed and patted her friend's back. "It's okay. I don't understand why my mother's like this. I really don't."

Ino hummed in thought. "You're her only child. You mean a lot to her and I guess, yeah… she's kind of stuck in the old ways about how relationships should be. I mean, my parents sure as hell don't know I have sex already. If they did, they'd probably flip out, too."

"I wonder if she's going to disown me," Sakura mumbled into Ino's shoulder.

"I doubt it. She's just… really angry right now."

"The last time she was this mad was when I broke an old family heirloom when I was a kid."

"You Haruno's do seem to get angry easily."

Sakura rolled her eyes and gave her friend one last hug before stepping back. Slowly, she peered out of the room and glanced at the door. She didn't know what her mother was going to say now to her, but decided to give her a few minutes to cool off. Grabbing her purse she hastily threw down earlier by the door, she went to the couch and plopped down. She pulled out her phone and sent a text to Kakashi saying that she was probably going to die, and that she hoped to see him in her next lifetime. She made a half-hearted smile at first when she wrote it, but then realized that it probably wasn't far off to what her mother wanted to do to her now. A few seconds after she sent it, her phone started to buzz repeatedly in her hand. He was calling her.

"Hey…" she answered softly.

"Um… You're not allowed to die. Are you okay? What happened?" he asked.

"I'm okay, but um, she's pretty pissed off finding out that we're intimate… and possibly living together already. So, I'm not sure if dinner is a good idea anymore. She's outside fuming right now."

She heard him hum for a moment and then he said, "I'm going to come over."

"But-"

"I want to be there for you regardless, so, if she wants to head out early to avoid me, fine. If she's willing to talk, that's fine, too."

"Eh…"

"Trust me."

"I do…" she replied solemnly.

"I'll handle it if she still wants to talk, okay? It's just going to get worse before it gets better at this point."

"Okay… See you soon. Be safe," she replied.

After he said goodbye, she ended the call and sighed. Looking over the couch towards the entryway, she really didn't want to go outside. Not when there was a ticking time bomb out there, but she needed to find out what her mother wanted to do. Kill her? Kill Kakashi? Kill the world? Maybe she was destroying the neighborhood right now like Godzilla. She was certain it was most likely one of those four options, and even more likely the first.

Ino soon joined her on the couch and gave her a sad look. "Want me to go get her?" she asked.

"No, no. I should do it," Sakura sighed back, rising slowly from the couch to head towards the entryway.

Her stomach started to churn as she twisted the doorknob to go outside. Her mother was sitting at the base of the concrete steps leading up to the apartment, looking out towards the bustling road in front of the complex. Each step she took felt heavier and heavier the closer she came to her mother. Slowly, she eased down next to her. She was close, but not too close.

"Mom…" she called out.

Her voice seemed to be falling on deaf ears at the moment. Her mother still looked forward with a mixed expression etched on her face.

"Mom, please… I'm sorry," Sakura said softly.

Still, she couldn't get any response from her as her mother continued to remain silent. Sakura had never seen her mother act this way before. Was she that upset at her? Were they just going to end everything like this and never speak to each other again? Giving up, she started to stand up.

"Are you living with him? I want a straight answer. Yes, or no?" her mother abruptly asked.

Sakura's heart dropped. Feeling her knees become weak, she sat back down again on the steps. She debated if she should really confirm it or not.

"Sakura…"

"…"

"Sakura!"

She jumped at the bark of her name. Inhaling a small breath between her tense lips, she lowly mumbled, "…yes."

Her mother sighed. "How can I believe anything you say anymore, Sakura? Why did you lie to me earlier that you were still living here?"

Sakura shrugged and then looked towards her feet. "I was too scared to tell you. I figured you would act something like this. Look, I feel really bad about everything. I don't _want_ to lie to you. There are lots of things I wish I could tell you about us, but I know how much you hate him..."

"How am I supposed to feel about him? First thing you do is stay out on Christmas Eve, scaring me half to death from not hearing a word from you that entire night. Then I suddenly find out you've been dating someone for months now without you ever mentioning it _once_ to me. Not only that but he's way _older_ than you, which just makes things even worse. Then you disappear for a week without a trace. Ino didn't even know where you were and it scared me to death."

"I didn't mean-"

"Now," her mother cut in. "I find out you're having sex and you've already decided to move in with him. You're moving way too damn fast for a relationship and I really just don't know what to do anymore at this point. You've changed, Sakura, and not for the better. It's one thing to let you become an adult to make your own decisions, but your acting this way seems like an unhealthy relationship to me."

Swallowing back the lump her throat, Sakura clutched her necklace tightly and muttered, "It's not unhealthy."

"Sakura…"

She groaned in annoyance and said, "I understand it sounds fast and like I said, I'm really sorry for messing up in not contacting you and making you worry. I'm _really_ and _sincerely_ sorry about that. I won't do it again. We're just…we're happy together and we want to be together as much as possible. Is that so wrong?"

"It is when it's changing you into someone I don't know anymore…"

"Mom…"

After a moment of silence, her mother sighed and said, "I wasn't joking when I said I considered it shaming the family, Sakura. It is."

Sakura's throat began to burn and she suddenly stood up. "I'm old enough to legally live with whoever I want," she stated in a shaky voice. "I'm sorry you hate me, but I'm not sorry for doing it. I'm happy. Despite everything that's happened in upsetting you, which I've apologized for… if you can just give him a chance, I think you'd be happy for me. I messed up in not telling you everything sooner, but I was afraid to tell you… you get so damn angry at me for the smallest things."

Her mother sat silently before admitting, "I married someone before your father… when I was about your age."

"Huh?" Sakura wasn't sure if she had just heard right. "I… I didn't know you married someone before Dad."

"I thought I loved him so much. So much that I eloped with him. It was the stupidest mistake of my life. He suddenly changed… and he wasn't the man who I thought he was. He turned abusive to me, Sakura."

Sakura froze at hearing that. She couldn't believe what her mother was saying. Never in her life had she ever heard her mother talk about being abused, or running off to get married with someone for that matter.

Her mother continued, "After I married him, I couldn't turn back to my family. They were so ashamed of what I had done. They never spoke to me again until I was able to divorce him years later. When I was finally strong enough to be on my own, I left him. Your father was my next mistake. You were too young to understand at the time, but he had an affair. Moment I found that out I kicked him out and told him to never look back."

Sakura slowly sat down again, feeling a little overwhelmed at first. "I had no idea... If I had known, I would have been more open with you about Kakashi."

"You and he are basically doing what I did, rushing into things without a second thought. Men are manipulative… and I'm afraid that's exactly what's going on here, Sakura."

Looking at the sincerity in her mother's eyes, she said, "I'm not making it up when I say I love him. I'm not saying it because I'm so swept up in everything that I don't have common sense anymore. I do, and I wish you'd give me a little more credit in making my own decisions. Now I understand why you're so against it all. I get it and you've seen nothing but the negative side of us together. I appreciate what you're trying to do… in why you're worried, but believe me when I say this… if he were to do anything to me at all to hurt me in any way… you'd be the first to know. I wouldn't stay in a relationship like that."

Her mother looked up at her hopefully. "You promise that? If he were to hurt you in any way… you'd tell me?" her mother asked softly.

"I promise."

Her mother sighed and wiped the corners of her eyes that were starting to tear. "That… makes me feel a lot better. I'm still unsure about everything, but… I want to trust you, Sakura. Please, just don't lie to me ever again. Be honest with me."

"I can do that if you promise to keep an open mind, deal?" Sakura asked.

Her mother nodded slowly at first. "Deal, but…"

"Yes?"

"Promise me you aren't going to run off and get married any time soon…"

Sakura blushed. "Well…"

"Sakura," her mother warned.

"I promise!" she assured. "We really haven't talked about that anyway, so… I wouldn't worry. It's not something I'd want to do right away."

"Good," her mother said in relief.

"So, I guess now is a good time to tell you that he's on his way here…"

"…Oh?"

Sakura stiffened. "I told him what happened earlier… and he got worried. So, he's coming and said if you still would like to talk, he's up for it. If not, that's fine…"

"Ah, I see…"

"Do you… want to?"

Her mother reluctantly nodded. "Yes."

"Oh, okay, well… let's go back inside for now, yeah?"

"Alright."

Sakura let out a small sigh of relief as they headed back inside. She felt such a weight lifted off of her shoulders in telling her mother everything, although she was pretty embarrassed still about the sex part. Not only did she feel a bit better, but she was really surprised at what her mother had told her about her past. She had no idea whatsoever that she had eloped when she was around her age. It made so much more sense to her why her mother was so upset with her starting to date Kakashi. Yeah, she messed up in not being completely honest since the beginning. Her mother had plenty of reason to be worried and just wanted to protect her. It was apparent her mother just didn't want history to repeat itself, but she just didn't know who he really was. Sakura wasn't going to get her hopes up of getting her mother's blessing on their relationship, but she just wanted to show her he is a good man, and that him ever doing anything to harm her was just unfathomable.

While they waited in the living room, Sakura was starting to feel anxious the more time passed. What would happen once he got here? What should she say? What would he say? What if he said something that ticked her off? What if her mother ended up _really_ not liking him at all? There were too many scenarios her imagination kept looping over and over again in her mind. She knew Kakashi said he would handle it and had no doubt he would do his best, but she couldn't help but worry. Just the idea of them forever hating each other really made her heart feel like it would split in two. She didn't want to choose one relationship over the other. She wasn't sure what she would do if it came down to it. They were both important in her life.

The moment a familiar knock sounded, Sakura immediately shot off of the couch from between Ino and her mother to run to the door. She wanted to at least talk to him before bringing him and her mother face to face.

"Sakura-ah!" Kakashi was suddenly pushed back on his chest once the door opened, cutting whatever he was about to say short.

Sakura rushed through the narrow passage of the doorway and threw her arms around him in a tight embrace.

He sighed and happily returned her eager hug. "I'm going to take a wild guess that you're stressed out."

She nodded against his chest.

"I'm sorry how things are turning out right now, but I'm here now. What can I do to make you feel better?"

She parted slightly away from him and leaned up on her toes. "First, kiss me."

He chuckled at first, and then complied, quickly tugging his mask down to give her a kiss. "Feel any better?" he asked with a grin, placing his mask back up.

"A little bit," she replied, smiling slightly.

"But…?" he asked, encouraging her to tell more.

She sighed and said, "Okay, so, my mother and I talked a bit after I called you. We kind of came to an understanding and she still wants to meet you, despite everything… so, um… she's inside right now."

"Okay, well, let's go." He started to move towards the door.

"Wait!"

He sighed at her worried face and pulled her into another hug. "It will be fine. Let's just see what happens and then we'll go from there. No use worrying about something that hasn't happened yet."

"I-I know," she stammered back. He gave her a look. She sighed and tried to compose herself. "Okay, here goes nothing."

Once they were inside the entryway, Ino was outside her door and said an awkward, but warm hello to Kakashi. She whispered she would be in her room to give everyone some privacy. Sakura said she appreciated it, but knew her friend would be spying anyway by the way she left the door cracked open behind her. She appreciated her friend's incentive in letting the three of them talk for a moment alone at least though.

Kakashi lightly hitched a few fingers around hers as he walked behind her. Silently she was thankful feeling his hand around hers. It made her feel a lot better despite how nerve-wracked she was the closer they came to the living room.

Her mother remaining seated on the couch, smoothing out the wrinkle of her long skirt as they approached her. She frowned at first, and then looked up to glare at Kakashi to say, "So, you're the one who's having sex with my daughter."

"…"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _*throws myself under a coffee table to avoid any possible thrown objects from having another cliffy*_
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	33. It'll Never Be the Same Again

**Chapter 33: It'll Never Be the Same Again**

"Mother!" Sakura yelled, completely mortified. Her hand tensed around Kakashi's. How could her mother have just said that? She thought she was willing to talk… not start a confrontation right off the bat.

Kakashi sighed in response and returned a squeeze to her hand before letting go. He was half tempted to sarcastically say, _'Nice to meet you, too,'_ to her mother, but that probably wouldn't have been a good joke to say right now.

He didn't know what all was said between Sakura and her mother before he came over, but he had a good idea of what to expect. He tried to think of a basic plan of what to say when he arrived in case Sakura's mother did want to talk, but figured his best bet would be just to try and be honest with her. Talk from the heart. He loved her daughter after all and if she could see how much he did care about her, perhaps it would set her mother's mind at ease. He was willing to do anything for Sakura, especially trying to get her mother to come around to accept their relationship. He just hated to put her through this ordeal though. Seeing Sakura upset earlier when she rushed to greet him made a tight feeling rise in his chest. He hated to see her like that. Making her go through all of this just wasn't fair to her. How could he get her mother to be on their side? That was a question he really wish he had a better answer to besides just hoping for the best.

Obviously, her mother wasn't thrilled at the fact they were sleeping together. It's human nature to happen, but some private things like that were just better left unsaid. Sakura was still young and he understood the concern that any parent would feel about it. She was also most certainly just as upset that they were living together, too. Not many parents actually get to confront the boyfriend, and he was prepared to deal with the backlash. He just wasn't sure how to properly talk about the subject without it quickly getting out of hand.

Glancing at Sakura, he could already tell she was on the verge of tears, making him feel even worse. Looking back towards her mother, he asked, "Haruno-san, would you mind if we just talked in private?"

Sakura immediately started to protest, "But-"

"That's fine," her mother cut in.

"How about the balcony?" he suggested, pointing to the glass sliding door at the other side of the room.

"Fine."

Sakura stared at Kakashi in disbelief. He avoided her gaze as he moved towards the door. Her anger started to flare as she watched them both exit into the balcony without her. Shouldn't she be a part of the discussion? It was about her _and_ Kakashi. Why wouldn't he want her to be a part of it? It made her feel like she was being ousted as a child - not being allowed to be a part of _adult_ conversations. As much as her mother was having a hard time in letting her become more independent now, she was old enough to make her own decisions. She was old enough to be getting into a serious relationship with Kakashi. Being thrown aside from the conversation made her feel so small. Why did it seem so hard to prove she was adult enough to be a part of anything?

Once they were out on the small balcony, Kakashi glanced apologetically at Sakura as he closed the sliding door shut. He could tell she wasn't thrilled about her not being there with him. It was just for the better this way avoiding possibly making her even more upset. If their discussion turned into a yelling match between the three of them, there wasn't going to be any hope of trying to salvage any kind of possible relationship with her mother. Emotions make people do things that they regret and seeing Sakura like this was really hard for him to take as it was. If he wanted to try and do this right, he needed to talk with her mother one on one first.

Taking in a deep breath, Kakashi exhaled and finally broke the silence. "I appreciate you letting me speak with you face to face. I just want to be honest with you about everything and go from there."

"If you want to speak with me face to face, should you really be hiding behind that mask of yours?" Sakura's mother asked.

Annoyed at first at her barely subtle request to take off his mask, he knew that she had a point. His mask made him appear to people that he was guarding or hiding himself and that was pretty correct. Originally, he kept insisting to cover his face as a child from the hounding media and just never stopped after the curiosity of his life faded years after his parents passed away. Now, it was simply a part of him. It was a habit to wear it without much thought and around most people, even his closest friends. He got reminded though, like right now, that some people didn't think he was sincere when he was talking with it on.

Sakura was really the first person he ever felt like he could be completely himself. Of course she was curious about it like anyone else in the beginning, but it never seemed to bother her like it did with most people. Maybe that was why it just seemed so much easier to let his guard down around her. He couldn't explain his choice of constantly wearing something over his face outside of his home, but it was just something he couldn't help.

Normally he wouldn't give in to such a request to show his face. People didn't have to understand his choice behind it and he never cared to share it in the first place. Most accepted it was just who he was. Sakura did, but she turned into more than just a friend and into a lover. He loved to share the smile she always brought to his face which was always meant just for her.

Sakura's mother was a stranger to him essentially, but she was Sakura's most important family. If he wanted to be as sincere, honest and forthcoming to her about him wanting to be with her daughter, letting her see his face would at least show he was serious. She most likely knew how he never revealed himself in public and was pushing him. For the sake of Sakura, he would give in just this time.

Tugging his mask down under his chin, he slightly turned to her and asked, "Is that better?"

Sakura's mother glanced at him without much emotion and replied, "Thank you, at least now I can see who I'm talking to." She studied his face for a moment. "Don't really see why you need it in the first place."

He half-heartedly shrugged and turned. "Frankly, it's just a habit I'm used to now. I know it seems strange to people."

"It's alright. I have a few guesses on why, but I appreciate you being open with me in this way. I can assume it's not something you normally do."

He hummed in agreement and said, "So, I know you're upset about all that's been going on and it's understandable. No one blames you for feeling that way and you have the right to. I'm very aware how bad my relationship with your daughter must look on the outside to you."

"So, then it wouldn't come as a surprise to you if I said I wanted you to stop seeing her?"

Kakashi clenched his hands along the metal railing of the balcony, shifting his weight forward to gaze out towards the manicured lawns below. "I suppose not."

She sighed and joined him in leaning against the railing. "I was going to request that when I finally got the chance to speak with you, but…"

"But?" he asked, curiously.

"When she finally talked honestly about everything, I could tell it's not just a teenage puppy love that's going to fade any time soon. That's one reason I was worried about letting this go on. I've also been assuming you were just stringing her along and taking advantage of her naivety at her age, but I guess she's more grown up then I've been crediting her for."

"She's young, but quite mature for her age in many ways," he countered. "I know she just moved away from home merely half a year ago, but when we met and just how things happened the way they did took us both by surprise. We should have waited to move in together, I know, but it just felt too right to keep waiting any longer… I don't know how to explain it."

"I understand," Sakura's mother replied. "I felt the same way when I younger… I've just been really scared for her that she was making the same mistakes I did when I was her age. People can be deceiving and I just didn't want her to fall into something that seems so sure and get hurt like I did."

"Makes sense why you'd feel that way. Any parent would and I get that," he said solemnly with a slight nod.

She smiled slightly, looking a little relieved that he seemed to be very understanding about her feelings. She hummed in thought for a moment and then asked, "Hatake… it's your family that runs that company is Osaka, isn't it? Are you not involved in it? Never really understood why someone like you would become a simple teacher in a town like ours."

Kakashi shrugged. "It's complicated, but I wanted to create my own path in life and make my own living."

"I see, I really respect that," she nodded. "There's something else I have to ask… and I don't mean to offend you. I _know_ you were her teacher before now. She used to complain about your assignments back then."

"Huh, that so," he replied, making a mental note to ask Sakura about it later.

Sakura's mother hesitated before asking her next question, "You didn't both start anything until you came here to Tokyo, right?"

Inwardly, Kakashi resented that implication that they would. He thought Iruka had seriously overblown the situation by asking him the same question, but apparently it was an easy thought to connect simply because he was her teacher just _once._ It bothered the hell out of him people might think that. Not only was it like jabbing a knife into his soul, but it made people question the kind of person he was. As if, he was someone who preyed upon young students and used his authoritative power as a teacher to forcefully seduce them. He wasn't anything remotely close to a sick person like that. Sakura could be the age of fifty and he still would have fallen in love with her. The age difference was unfortunate, but it made him realize that love came in all forms.

He looked at her uncomfortable stare for a moment and then confirmed, "Right. I only had one class with her in junior high. After that, I hadn't seen her in many years until we met here. So, no… I assure you there wasn't anything going on before that. I'd never do something like that. I know our age difference doesn't help the matter, but I'm not a pedophile."

She let out a relieved sigh. "I'm glad to hear that. Else there would be some bigger issues at hand here."

He sighed. "Don't worry… I'm not a horrible person to do something like that."

"Well, I didn't think you were. Sakura certainly thinks you're great and so do a few people I've talked to who know you. But I just wanted to be sure and get the question out of the way. You seem like a nice person," she admitted.

"Well… thanks," he offered in the small silence.

"I'm still a little hesitant about everything after finding all this out today, but I think… I think I'm okay with you both continuing to live together… for now."

Kakashi looked at her in surprise. "Oh, I'm glad to hear that," he replied, feeling really relieved to hear her say that.

He had no doubt Sakura would be just as happy to learn this, too. After with all the drama with Sasuke and the school, she really needed some kind of good news like this.

"But," she suddenly added, jolting him from his thoughts. "Let me make myself clear that I'm _really_ not happy finding out she's sexually active…" She gave him a stern glare.

Awkward silence.

He made sure to avoid her dagger-like stare and suddenly became interested in picking at the paint chips curled up from the balcony railing. He sure as hell wanted to avoid this subject. _'Fun fact, Haruno-san, I banged your daughter quite a few times in France and in my dining room last week. So, yes, she's quite sexually active.'_

And then perhaps they would have a good laugh, or her mother would push him over the railing. Most likely the latter one.

Scratching the back of his messy hair uncomfortably, still feeling her glare, he let out a tense laugh, slightly looking a little red in the face. "Ah, right… about that…"

"You use protection, _right?_ " she asked.

"Of course," he replied quickly muttered, still avoiding her eyes.

"If I ever find out that she's pregnant, I will personally castrate you. That's a promise," she said firmly.

Kakashi quietly gulped.

"She's in no position to have her life changed forever and having to drop out of the school she's worked so hard to get into in the first place. She's long dreamed of being a doctor and I-"

He cleared his throat to interrupt her. "Uh, trust me. I'd never want that to happen either."

"Good," she replied simply. "I'm going to talk more with her about this… what's done is done. For now, I just want to be sure she knows she's doing."

"Trust me. She knows what she's doing-"

" _What_ do you mean by that?" she spat.

He instantly froze realizing how it came out sounding, and then quickly scrambled, "I-I just mean she knows the consequences and…"

"Let's stop talking about this subject for now," she grumbled.

He ducked his head from feeling her hardened glare. "Good idea…"

Folding her arms, she sighed and said, "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me before we head back in?"

"Well, I, um…" He thought for a moment and then shifted towards her. "I love Sakura very much. I sincerely do. She's everything to me and I want nothing more but her to be happy. Her relationship is important to you and I never wanted to come in between that. I'm not asking for your full support right away about everything, but just ask you to be open-minded."

"I can be open-minded for now, but I'm cautious for her. It will take some time and a little trust for me to completely say I'm happy for you both," she replied.

"I understand. I do hope that someday we'll have your full support. I do have every intention of asking her to marry me…"

Her eyes went wide. " _What?_ "

"Not _now_ ," he stressed. "I mean in the future."

Her lips turned into a disapproving frown. "You're that serious about my daughter? So soon to be thinking of marriage?"

He reluctantly nodded against his brain to confirm it. "I am and I don't mean to scare you. I'm saying this to you now because I want you to know how serious I am about her. I wouldn't ask until much later. Even I know its way too soon for something like that, most likely a couple years from now."

" _If_ you two are still together and only _if_ I approved at the time… I'd prefer you wait until after she graduated."

"Well, I know medical school takes quite a few years… and I'm not sure if I could wait that long."

She let out an irritated sighed at his answer, clearly not very thrilled about the idea. "We'll talk about this later."

"Good idea," he quickly agreed.

Kakashi pressed a smile on his lips and opened the sliding door, offering her to head in first. Sakura and Ino turned to look at them from the couch.

"Oh my God," Ino said loudly, her eyes fixated on Kakashi's face.

He sighed and glared at her in annoyance while he pulled up his mask.

"Sakura!" Ino whispered, lightly jabbing her friend in the stomach with her elbow. "How dare you not share how damn hot he is. You said he was cute. There's a difference between cute and drop dead sexy."

"Shush," Sakura grumbled back, not really in a great mood right now to listen to her blonde friend's antics. Glancing back and forth between her mother and Kakashi, she was desperate to learn about what all was said. She couldn't tell if it ended well or not by the looks on their faces.

"Are we still having dinner? I'm a bit hungry," her mother said nonchalantly, reaching for her purse that was on the coffee table.

"Oh, um… I guess?" Sakura replied, looking at Kakashi to confirm her answer.

He smiled warmly beneath his mask at her and then stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Ready then, Sakura?" he asked.

"S-Sure," she stammered, quickly getting up to gather her things.

Sakura wondered if she was daydreaming as the three of them left the apartment to his car. She had feared the worst when they left to talk privately without her. She was still a bit upset about being purposely left out of it, but could physically feel that the tension between them had gone down considerably. It made her breathe a lot easier and she was thankful for that. Kakashi sneaked his fingers around her hand when he could, making her feel even better.

There weren't any harsh words, yelling, or any kind of confrontation the whole way there to the restaurant they decided on. Dinner was just as pleasant, but they did talk carefully about her mother's expectations for them both to keep living together. She couldn't believe it when she heard it. Her mother was actually okay with it, albeit warily. If they weren't surrounded by people at their table, she probably would have jumped up and down in her seat in joy.

They even talked about plans for them to come down for her birthday in March. She was a bit floored he'd easily agree to come to be a part of everything and possibly meet even more of her friends back home. When dinner ended, they stopped at the hotel her mother was staying at to drop her off. Before she went up to her room, her mother privately said to Sakura that she wanted to talk to her later to discuss some things, but would save it for another day.

After they parted ways inside the lobby, Sakura skipped happily down the sidewalk outside the hotel, dragging Kakashi by the hand. "Come on, _Turtle-kun_ , walk faster," she teased.

He groaned, tugging her hand back as she pulled. "I was really hoping you'd forget about that name."

"It's too cute to forget, _Turtle-kun_."

He sighed and tried to ignore her muttering the name repeatedly all the on the way back to the car. At least she was obviously in a good mood.

Once they were inside, she gave him a warm smile and kissed his masked lips. "I'm not sure what you said to her, but I'm so glad she's okay with us living together."

He pulled down his mask and gave her a soft kiss. "I just tried to be honest. She still has a lot of concerns, but only time will prove we're not going anywhere anytime soon."

Sakura smiled once more and kissed him again, this time lingering her tender lips on his. Slowly, she pulled away to flutter her eyes open. She always felt so many things when he looked at her in the way he did now, but most of all it made her feel exactly what was in every beat of her heart towards him: _love_.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi let out a sigh and squinted at the paper in front of him, tapping his red pen impatiently against his desk as he read. After marking through the paper, he placed it in the small pile that was forming to the right of him. This is what he hated most of all about teaching. Grading papers. He had dreaded this day ever since the new semester began once he accepted the job as a teacher assistant.

Glancing at the large stack of test forms he still needed to go through, he sighed even louder. He wanted to do _anything_ but this. There were well over a hundred students each from the two English classes he was helping with. It was no wonder this damn pile of tests never seemed to diminish. Groaning, he bit the end of his pen as he picked up the next test paper.

His eyes glanced up to the door from hearing the stair's steps creak from inside the hall of his house. Sakura was on her way up. He could hear her humming cheerfully the closer she approached as she climbed up the stairs, making him inwardly smile.

Since talking with her mother about a month ago, Sakura seemed so much happier lately. It certainly made him breathe a little easier, too, knowing that they managed to find a resolution with her mother for now. He couldn't blame Sakura for feeling incredibly stressed before her mother came to visit, especially with school and all, but he knew how much her mother's reaction to their relationship was weighing on her mind ever since the beginning. The fact she agreed it was okay for them to continue living together made things so much more easier for them from here on out. No, she wasn't blessing them as a couple quite yet, but she managed to trust them and most importantly, him. Kakashi was also relieved they told the truth of their living situation before they left Tokyo for the summer. He really didn't like the idea of them trying to keep hiding the fact that they were living together any longer. Since the talk between the three of them, everything felt like it was finally coming into place. They could be more open being together as a couple without having to think so much about the minor consequences about it with her family. There might be some remarks from the people they both knew back home, but that was on the bottom list of his worries. He knew they both had supportive friends there. As for any strangers, it really didn't matter to him what anyone else thought.

Of course not everything was perfect. Sasuke still hadn't completely disappeared from the picture, as much as Kakashi wished he would have. Switching Sakura out of the classes they were in together helped a lot, but wasn't enough to completely avoid him. Just merely a few days ago, she mentioned seeing him again between classes, but said that nothing happened. He always did tell Sakura she was a bad liar for a reason. She always gave it away from the uneasy look her eyes, but he asked nothing further about it. As much as he hated that she wasn't being completely honest, she didn't seem hurt or upset. Whatever it was, it probably wasn't anything too serious. Perhaps all Sasuke ever said to her was a few choice words and nothing else, but she seemed alright for now and that's all that really mattered to him. If she was happy, he was happy.

"How's it going?" Sakura asked, leaning against the doorway of his makeshift office. She smiled at him with a steaming coffee mug in her hand.

"I'm thinking about stabbing myself with this pen." He glanced at the instrument in his hand for moment, deliberately looking at it as if he was seriously considering it.

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "It can't be _that_ bad."

He sighed. "You don't understand. It's obvious hardly anyone studied for this test. My damn hand already hurts from marking so much," he pouted.

"Want me to kiss it to make it feel better?" she asked in a teasing voice.

He instantly dropped his pen on the desk and held out his hand. "Please?"

She laughed and walked over to his desk, setting down the mug in front of him. She lightly grabbed is wrist and kissed over each knuckle of his fingers, giving a final kiss to the back of his hand. Grinning, she lowered his hand and pointed to the cup she had just placed and said, "I made you some coffee."

"Free of charge?" he asked skeptically.

She narrowed her eyes playfully. "Of course not. I make drinks all day at the coffee shop and you want me to make you a free one? Pff. Why would I do that?" she joked, poking him lightly in the chest with her fingers.

"Because I'm your favorite customer?" he asked with a smile.

She glared and proceeded to pout. "Like hell you are. Every time when I'm with other co-workers, they instantly scatter when they see you, making me take your ridiculous order. Then they laugh about it after you leave. I hate you."

"You know you secretly love it," he said with a grin.

"I do not, _Turtle-kun_."

His smile dropped. "Don't call me that."

"Why? You're my Turtle-kun."

He sighed. "You've been saying that at least once everyday now. How'd you like it if I called you a name you didn't like?"

"Like what?"

He hummed for a moment in thought. Slowly, he brought a hand to her jaw and then stroked his fingers into her hair. He grinned. " _Flamingo-chan_."

"Ugh! My hair is not like a flamingo!" she protested.

He smiled brightly at the dead look she was giving him. "Who said anything about your hair?" he teased. "You have long graceful legs like a Flamingo. Just bend one leg up and you're a spitting image."

"…"

"What, _Flamingo-chan_?"

She let out a dejected sigh. "…Fine. I'll stop calling you Turtle-kun… for now."

Kakashi smiled at his minor victory and curiously watched her move behind his chair. She nuzzled her chin against his neck, silently inhaling the musky scent of his cologne she loved so much. Wrapping her arms around his chest, she peered over his shoulder at the paper he seemed to be working on. She suddenly chuckled.

"What?" he asked, titling his head to the side to see her giggle.

"You're such a hardass."

"Well… I do work out my buttocks, too."

She smacked him lightly in the chest. "I mean with your grading."

"What you mean?"

She pointed to the paper. "Maybe you'd grade these faster if you didn't keep drawing stick figures hanging themselves by the answers."

"It's my way of expressing that I think they should consider dropping the class."

"Shouldn't you get in trouble for drawing stuff like that on a student's paper?"

He sighed. "Sakura, this is the answer key I made. I can draw anything I want on it."

"Oh," she replied simply, feeling a little silly she didn't recognize it sooner.

Picking up his pen, he started to draw another figure. It started with an s-curve and had long skinny feet. Her brows furrowed at what on earth he was making until she realized it was a flamingo.

She smacked his chest again. "Damn it, Kakashi."

He chuckled and dropped his pen again to squeeze her arms around chest. "I'm going to be here for awhile," he sighed.

"Can't I help you?"

He looked unsurely at the stack. "Well..."

"Come on, you'll be done faster and I don't mind. At least let me go through multiple choice answers for you. Anyone can do that."

"Wouldn't you rather be doing something else?"

"Nope. I'm done with my homework and have nothing else to do. I want to help, please?"

She leaned over his shoulder to give him a sad, pitiful face. The longer he said nothing, the more she started to pout her bottom lip.

He finally caved when she started to quiver her lip. "Fine, pull up a chair," he grumbled.

She smiled and immediately darted off to pull up a chair that was nestled in the corner of the room. He scooted over to make room for her to work beside him at his desk and gave her a pen.

"Hold on, I need to fix this answer key before I start," she proclaimed.

Moving her shoulder in the way to block Kakashi's view as she drew, he patiently waited until she revealed her creation: a frowning turtle.

"Lovely," he muttered unenthusiastically, failing to stop himself from chuckling.

She stuck her tongue out at him and proceeded to work in helping him grade. Every so often, he would elbow her as if she was too close in his personal space, making her scoff and push herself even further into him like there wasn't enough room on earth for them both. Their small acts of flirting at least was helping make such a dull activity fun, though he was wondering if it was really helping that he couldn't seem to keep his hands off her.

Sakura grinned to herself as she worked. She knew how much he hated dealing with papers. It was even evident when he was her teacher long ago. During their silent self study break for his class in junior high, he would usually grumble quietly to himself as he graded papers. It was a small memory she had of him, besides reading, which stuck with her all these years. Especially at a time of her life when she was mostly obsessed with Sasuke, she was glad she remembered something like that about Kakashi.

She frowned a little at her memories. Sasuke. Why did he have to change so much? Or had he always been like this all along and she never noticed before? She wondered about that. How much of her memories of him did she really have of him from growing up about who he was? All she ever did all day was dream about him until high school. She finally had woken up to the kind of person he turned out to be. Now, she felt foolish in wasting so much of her time in wishing to ever be with someone like that. He had grown to be even more rude and hostile since high school, and lately it was mainly towards Kakashi. It made her angry every time he had to open his mouth to say something about him. She didn't understand why and hated every time she managed to run into him at the university, but at least it was seldom so far. She was slowly getting used to completely ignoring him, but in the process he was getting pissed off even more that she was doing that towards him.

Sasuke was acting like a bully, but she refused to keep getting upset by him. It was clearly what he was trying to do and she wasn't going to let him have it. He probably was trying to make her complain to Kakashi, which was the last thing she wanted by allowing something so stupid escalate in the first place. It was bad enough she switched classes because of him. She didn't want to make things any worse because of a few offhanded comments he threw her way in passing. She was stronger than that to let it bother her at this point.

She felt pity for Sasuke really. This was college for crying out loud and if he wanted to act childish with his snide remarks, that was all him. She didn't want any part in it. Slapping him was down right fitting for him, but she didn't want to make any more trouble. As long as he didn't interfere with her classes any more, she was okay with things. It was rare when she did run into him, but it happened a couple times so far since the incident. It was annoying, but she could handle it.

It was strange how Sasuke had never uttered so many words towards her until now. Was it all in just trying to make Kakashi upset if she told him about how he was still bothering her? She wasn't sure, but couldn't find any other reason about it since he had first seen them together. Was he really so angry at Kakashi because he forced him to quit the team in high school? Why was it such a big deal, if so? She sighed. She didn't know and just didn't care anymore. He wasn't going to ruin her relationship with Kakashi just because he hated him, if that what he was after.

Kakashi noted her sigh and nudged her arm. "Ah-ha. See? Grading sucks, doesn't it?"

Sakura looked at him strangely at first from her original thoughts, until she realized how she must have seemed bored of grading from her sigh. Looking at the paper she was working on, she hummed and finished grading it to pass it to him.

"Okay, it kind of sucks," she half-lied with a shrug. Actually, she kind of liked it. It was kind of therapeutic staring at the same answers over and over again.

"Go do something else," he offered. "We've done more than I ever could in a day and that's quite helpful enough.

She shook her head. "No, I'm good."

He started to wave her off. "Go read some Icha Icha," he said smugly.

There was a small inkling of desire inside of her to pick up where she left off in her current book, but she was having fun helping Kakashi. "No, I want to help," she said stubbornly.

"Are you sure? Aren't you at the part where Kino was going to discover who was behind the murder of-"

"Shush!" she interrupted.

"But-"

"Don't talk to me about it! I'll read it later." She yanked another test paper from the stack and started to grade.

He grinned. "But the mistress-"

" _Shhhhhhhh_!" She slapped her hand down on the desk and turned to glare at him. She placed a finger on his lips to further ensure he would be quiet.

Kakashi looked at her as if he didn't have a clue why she was getting upset and started pouting his lips to kiss her finger. She still insisted to keep her hand there until he started to suck on her fingertip.

"Kakashi," she uttered, not finding the strength the pull her finger away from his devious mouth. He continued to suck and bite until she finally pulled her hand away with a pop.

"What?" he asked, completely ignoring the flushed look in her cheeks as he went to finish up grading the paper in front of him. He hid a grin from her, feeling her stare at him in disbelief from teasing her.

"Hate you." She turned and tried to refocus on the next paper.

His grin fell when he felt a petite hand stroke along his inner thigh, inching dangerously close towards his most sensitive region. A single finger trailed along the zipper of his pants, making his breath hitch as she instantly withdrew her hand away to flip another paper in front of her.

Feeling him staring at her, Sakura turned to him with an arched brow. "What?"

He glared at her accusingly, quickly catching onto her little game as he went back to marking the test form. Now, he was wondering himself how long he could actually keep this up and properly grade at the same time. He was going to make sure she caved in first.

With that in mind, he slowly sneaked a hand up her smooth thigh, knowing right away she was going to lose the moment he dipped his fingers beneath her jean skirt. Oh, how he loved the days when she wore skirts like this. She was really making this too easy. His middle finger found its way at the base of her silky panties, gently rubbing his finger in circles around her small sensitive pearl hidden beneath the fabric.

She hissed at his touch, clamping her knees together to stop him, but it only intensified his strokes the more she tried to prevent him. Fighting back the urge to spread her legs to give him easier access, she glanced at him to find he still seemed to be keeping up with grading his paper as he stroked her. He suddenly flicked his finger, making her whimper.

"What's the matter?" he asked, knowing full and well the answer to that question.

"N-nothing," she stuttered almost miserably as she marked through her portion of the test paper, slightly shifting in her seat which seemed to only make his strokes worse in making her come undone.

Completely pretending he was still concentrating on the form, he watched her squirm and pout at what he was doing to her. She still tried her best to fight back, cupping her palm over his growing bulge, but little by little, she was losing her will to keep going as she spread her legs more and more.

" _Kashi_ ," she hushed, dropping back in her chair as she closed her eyes.

Hiking her skirt to her hips, he pressed his fingers beneath her panties into the slick, sensitive folds between her legs and steadily increased his repeated movements of his hand.

Her breathing fell heavy as she gripped the sides of her chair. She winced and slightly whined as a group of his fingers abruptly entered inside her. "Ah, Kakashi, please," she begged, arching her back to further push his hand within her.

Sakura really didn't care how she looked right now as she was practically humping his hand, but she couldn't help herself. She needed more and she was so close. Feeling him touch her tender bundle of nerves again, she groaned and clawed a hand of her against his thigh.

"Come for me, Sakura," he murmured huskily.

Her only response she could manage was breathy moans. His magical fingers worked her into a frenzy, making her desperately groan his name to not stop until she finally claimed a sweet release.

Still feeling her body buzz from her climax, she opened her eyes to find him licking her essence from each of his fingers. He hummed at the taste like she was some wonderfully sweet tasting honey.

Feeling her heart yearn for him even more at the intimate sight, she moved her hand to unzip his pants, wondering if now would be a good time to tell him something she had been hiding for several weeks now.

"Kakashi," she muttered shyly, slowly rubbing her fingers along his length, begging to be pulled from the restraints of his boxers.

"Mm?" he moaned in question, moving his hips forward as her hands toyed with the opening slip to his member.

"I-I'm on birth control now," she stuttered, not being able to stop herself from feeling embarrassed.

His eyes snapped open to hers. "What?"

She blushed, feeling suddenly nervous from the intense look in his eyes. "I-I saw a doctor when school started at the university and it's been well over the time I'd need to wait for it to be effective, I mean, w-we don't have to if you don't want to, o-of course, and… and…"

She paused her rambling to sigh at his blank face, feeling her blush deepen as if she must had said something strange.

"Why didn't you say so sooner?" he asked, suddenly moving to pull her up off the chair and onto the middle of his desk. Papers scattered to the floor as he arched her backwards to run a hand down the middle of her chest towards the bottom of her skirt, then nipped at her neck. "You have no idea how much I want to fully feel you," he whispered against her ear.

At first she choked at a response from feeling her panties already being pulled down her legs. Her heart hammered in excitement, but felt worried at the mess they were making already. "Kakashi, t-the papers," she mumbled.

"Oh, good call," he replied, moving back to pick up the half-drank coffee mug that was off to the side. He placed it on the floor far away before attacking her with kisses again.

"B-but we're going to smear the papers," she reasoned, feeling a few beneath slide against her bare butt as he kissed her. She was sweaty already and had no doubt the ink was going to smear.

"Its fine," he assured, pulling down his unzipped pants along with his boxers and yanking her forward with a screech along the desk, making her squeal slightly in fear of falling. A few more papers fell as she crumpled a couple beneath her hands.

She sighed. Although she couldn't resist his tantalizing kisses he was placing across the top of her breasts once he ripped away her shirt, she still felt wrong for doing this on top of his student's papers. "They're going to smell like sex."

"Febreeze," he replied simply, pulling her skirt further up.

Sakura might have rolled her eyes at his suggestion, but the feeling of his member rubbing against her made her thoughts stutter. Finding it a bit unfair he was still half-clothed with just his pants and boxers at his ankles, she clawed her nails against the long sleeved shirt he was wearing, eventually pulling it up and over his head as he kissed her. He had a white undershirt on, but she quickly took care of that and tossed it away somewhere on the floor with a plop.

Running her fingers down his muscled chest, she kissed along his neck as he pulled her even closer. She held her breath at feeling him hovering at her entrance. He was purposely teasing her, rubbing himself against her in agonizing circles. She didn't want to wait any longer at this point. She was about to open her mouth to ask him to take her now, but felt him already giving into her wishes.

He grunted as he slowly filled her completely, suspending his lips barely against her ear as he let a hot breath tickle her neck. "You feel so amazing," he whispered faintly.

She shuddered compulsively at his words, swearing she also felt his tongue glide against her ear, but she was too far gone from feeling him start to thrust inside her to really be sure.

Slowly, he grinded against her hips, loving the slick warmth he felt of her inner walls clenching around him. It was moments like these when he felt so intimate with her that he always fell back on the question on how he ended up so lucky being with someone like her. She could light a fire within him like no other person ever could. He loved every part of her and couldn't stop himself sometimes in wanting her. It was more than want, he _needed_ her. She was amazing, special, and made him feel almost unworthy of having her. But she was his and she needed him as much as he needed her. No matter what happened in the future, he was sure that together, anything just seemed possible.

For Sakura, he felt wonderful with or without a condom, but there was obviously a minor difference of friction between skin and latex. She felt even closer to him in a non-physical sense, which almost seemed damn right impossible because she loved him so much already, but she did. Giving herself completely in every sense of the word to him made her happier more than anything.

The thumping hammer against her heart was beating so hard she was pretty sure his lips against her chest could feel it, too. Every kiss he placed seemed to have a purpose as he trailed up towards her lips, crashing his against hers in an almost demanding way.

"Tell me what you need, baby," he groaned as he broke away from her mouth, feeling his hands smooth over her rib cage and towards her thighs that were wrapped around him.

"Harder," she whimpered.

Her fingers found their way into his tousled silvery hair and groaned against his neck as he thrusts turned stronger and faster. She groaned louder and sucked in a breath as he started to rub at her sensitive nerves with a hand.

" _Kashi_ ," she breathed, "I-I'm going to-"

He pushed himself even harder, making her squirm under him against the crunch of papers behind her with a heighten moan from her intense release. She muttered his name, biting her lip as she hissed in pleasure from his continued thrusts.

"Sakura," he mumbled between breaths, slowing his hips.

She slid her hands down his sweat glazed back, treading her fingertips lightly over his scars. "Don't stop," she urged.

"But I'm-"

"Come inside me," she pleaded.

"But, S-Sakura."

" _Please_ , Kakashi."

Shortly after calling his name once more, she felt him almost throbbing within her as he released, making her fight back a pleasing muffle of a groan. She couldn't feel him empty inside her for their first time, but knew he was by the stiffened stance over her, making their bond tighten even more of the love and trust they had between each other.

Leaning against her on the desk, Kakashi's heart slowed as he continued to catch his breath. As he looked down into her lust-filled eyes, he brushed a few wayward strands from her face and kissed her flushed lips. "I love you, Sakura," he whispered.

"I love you, too," she smiled, shakily releasing her legs' hold around his waist.

When he pulled out from her, a few papers stuck to his elbows and palms as he pushed himself up. He pulled them off himself humorously and then looked at her beginning to slide off his desk.

"Ack, see, I knew this desk was a bad idea," she said, turning over her shoulder to find dozens of papers fallen on the floor. Then she noticed the ones sticking to her sweat covered back and butt. "Ah!"

He simply laughed at her as she twirled around herself in an attempt to grab them like a puppy chasing its own tail, making her pause to glare at him. He helped her pluck them away from her body. Suddenly, she squeezed her legs together, feeling a weird sensation ooze down her inner thigh. She held herself in slight embarrassment.

"Oh, sorry… it's kind of messy," he said, and picked up his t-shirt off the floor to offer to her.

"I-I don't mind," she murmured, hiding a blush as she wiped herself between her legs. "I'm going to take a shower."

"Can I join?" he instantly asked, casting her a hopeful look.

She narrowed her eyes at his mischievous stare. "You'll just make me dirty again."

"But I'll clean you, promise," he offered with a smirk; lightly grabbing her shoulders he pointed her in the direction of the bathroom and pushed her forward.

Sakura grinned at his eagerness and felt him pull at her hand as they crossed the hallway. Once in the bathroom, he wasted no time in pushing her against the shower stall to kiss her senselessly even before they turned on the water. She unhooked the bra she still had on from before, which he slipped off her shoulders to toss it away on the tile floor.

"S-shouldn't we turn the shower on?" she mumbled between his kisses.

"You're wet enough," he teased.

She scoffed in response, but didn't deny his statement as he pulled from her lips to lick her down across her chest like a cat lapping up milk. She had a feeling he would be like this once he knew he could keep claiming her over and over again without having to pause, not that she minded. She had to wonder if it was even possible for him to be more sex crazed than he usually was.

She would soon find out.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	34. The Dog Days of Summer

**Chapter 34: The Dog Days of Summer**

"So… when can I look?" Sakura asked impatiently, trying to pull Kakashi's hands from over her eyes.

"Not yet! Stop trying to peek. Walk just a little bit more," he murmured, pushing her forward slowly along the sidewalk.

She sighed and blindly followed to wherever he was leading her, feeling a little helpless as she took a couple of unsure steps. "You're not leading me into a deep, dark hole somewhere to push me in and leave me for dead, are you?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes, unaware to her. "Oh, you got me, Sakura."

"Uh-huh. See, I knew our relationship was too good to be true."

"After about nine months of us being together, you really think I'd do that?" he asked dryly.

"Yep."

He deadpanned. "… That hurts, Flamingo-chan," he playfully said in a sad voice.

She groaned at that nickname and mockingly said, " _Turtle-kun_."

Halting her steps, he slowly removed his fingers from over her eyes and lowered his hands to wrap them around her waist. Trying to hide the excitement in his voice, he said, "Okay, open them."

Slowly, she opened her curious green eyes to find them standing in front of a moderately-sized, two-story traditional Japanese house. It looked absolutely stunning, like it was torn from the pages of a brochure.

She blinked and glanced around unsurely. "What are we doing here?"

A smug smile spread beneath his mask and said, "This is where we'll be staying for the rest of the summer."

Her mouth went agape. "Huh? I thought we were going to live at an apartment?"

"I lied," he said with a hidden grin.

Her eyes went wide as she gasped. "Really? We're going to stay here?"

Being reminded of her similar reaction to the château they stayed at in France, he leaned into her ear and replied sarcastically, "No."

Playfully smacking his arms around her, she beamed, "I've always wanted to stay in a traditional house. Oh, it's so pretty!"

She started to move forward to run inside to explore, but was held back by his arms. "Hold your horses," he chuckled.

He turned her and started to pick her up.

"What are you doing?" she exclaimed, yipping faintly as he suddenly hoisted her up bridal style.

"Carrying you across the threshold, duh," he teased.

She blushed and tightened her grip around his chest. "Y-you don't have to do that. We're not married or anything."

"Someday," he promised. "Think of this as practice."

She further blushed at that comment, finding herself suddenly speechless.

He smirked and walked up the steps, nudging his foot into the sliding door he opened just a little earlier for his planned romantic entrance. After opening it all the way, he almost made it past the door without a hitch, except he accidentally bumped her head against the edge of the door frame, making a loud thump.

"Ow," she mumbled, glaring at him.

He backed up from the door and muttered an apology. Moving again to attempt to pass through the doorway, he hit her head once more.

"Damn it, Kakashi!" she hissed.

"Sorry, this is… this was supposed to be romantic. I mean, least you'll forever cherish this memory, right?" he said with a tense laugh.

She narrowed her eyes. "Of you beating my head?"

He gave her a happy eye-crinkle of a smile. "In a special way."

She sighed and shot him an unamused look. "If you keep this up, I'm going to lose consciousness soon."

Awkwardly chuckling how that certainly could turn out to be true, he carefully squeezed them both inside the house successfully. Letting her down, he pulled his mask to reveal his lips, gently tugging her closer to kiss into her hair of where he accidentally bumped her. Lingering his mouth next to her ear, he kissed her once more and whispered a soft apology.

"I'm fine," she reassured warmly, kissing his lips for a moment as her fingers briefly intertwined into his silvery hair.

Once she parted from his arms, her shoes immediately slipped off so she could sprint inside the house to explore. The screen doors to each room featured a beautiful cream-colored paper with a dark cherry wood finish all along the walls of house with matching sliding doors. Each room was furnished with very elegant, but simple traditional-looking furniture; sparingly featured in each room were small works of art such as wall scrolls and ornate vases. It also had all the modern conveniences such as a television, a fully working kitchen, and bathroom with a shower and small tub.

Running towards the back of the house, Sakura slid the door open and gasped at revealing an open porch which had a small, but beautiful sculpted garden which even included a small lake filled with koi fish. Inwardly she gushed, feeling thrilled that she would get to spend a couple of months here while being surrounded by such beautiful woodwork and art. All she needed now was a kimono to match the wonderful setting around her. It was practically like a mini-vacation living here. She didn't even know a place like this existed inside her small town.

Not seeing Kakashi anywhere in sight, she set off to find him to show him the garden. Snatching him once he entered inside the doorway as he placed down a few of their bags from the car, she pulled him towards the back.

"Look how beautiful it is!" she exclaimed.

He hummed in agreement, playfully pulling at her hand. "I'm glad you like it," he said with a small hidden smile beneath his readjusted mask.

"You didn't have to do this," she murmured.

He shrugged and pulled her into a hug. "It's no big deal. I appreciate you coming down here with me just so I can work during the summer. Might as well make it worth our while to pretend it's like a vacation, too, mm?"

She shyly nodded and gave him an appreciative kiss on the cheek. "Well, it's very nice. I love it. I can't wait to have mother visit."

His smile dropped. "Oh."

She made a sour face at the disappointment in his voice. "You don't want her to?"

"Um…"

She started to pull from his arms to glare at him.

"No, no! Of course she can," he replied, probably a little too quickly.

"Oh, good," she replied, smiling happily again as she hugged him.

Not that he had anything against her mother per se, but ever since they had come down in March for Sakura's 19th birthday, she had been practically breathing down his neck making sure everything between him and her daughter was really as perfect as it seemed. She and her family would casually drill him with questions about himself or his own family (which he particularly had a hard time talking about), their life in Tokyo, and other small things concerning their life together as a couple. He understood why her mother was concerned after learning about her own unfortunate relationships, but he wondered how long it was going to take until she fully accepted them.

Just merely staying for only a couple days at her mother's house was enough of a fill of being given concerned looks from her mother, making him a little wary about saying anything around her, and holding back his usual teasing towards Sakura in case she took it the wrong way.

Now that they were here in what was essentially her mother's territory, he really hoped Sakura's mother didn't decide to do random visits once she knew where they were staying.

He supposed it was wishful thinking, but he really did want to treat their visit like a vacation despite him working most of the summer. With that in mind, he pulled Sakura closer and pulled his mask down to place teasing kisses along her neck.

"Kakashi," she muttered, coyly.

" _Sakura_ ," he playfully returned her name, nipping at her ear.

"Already trying to start something?" she asked, unable to hide a grin as her cheeks flushed.

"Humm, what ever are you talking about?" he asked, acting oblivious as he dipped her back to get better access to her collarbone.

Wiggling out of his arms as he continued to kiss her, she said, "Oh, so you're not then? Guess I'll just go unpack the rest of the car."

Before he could respond, she bolted inside the house with a slight giggle. Chasing after her, he smiled as he hoped the rest of their summer would be just as carefree as her laughter was.

* * *

  
The next morning, a loud knock stirred Sakura awake. Sleepily inhaling a deep breath, she pulled her wrapped arms away from Kakashi under the covers to see what time it was on her phone. It was barely seven in the morning.

Groaning, she rolled back to her place next to him, snuggling her naked body against his equally bare, but warm one. Another knock opened her tired green eyes again, finding Kakashi slowly open his to stare back at her.

"Who's that?" he asked gruffly.

"Donno, but I'm sure they'll go away," she whispered back.

He grunted and pulled her closer, his hand slowly caressing along her smooth spine until pausing comfortably at the small of her back. Closing his eyes again, he inhaled the sweet scent of her hair and slowly began to drift to sleep again while ignoring a couple more faint knocks.

The moment they heard a door slide open, both of their eyes went wide. Startled, Sakura rose from the futon, grasping the sheet around her tightly and listened intently to whoever was intruding inside their new temporary home.

"Sakura?" a female voice called below. "It's mother, are you two still asleep?"

Feeling her cheeks drain, she whipped her head around to find Kakashi propping himself up on his elbows, giving her a sour look.

"When the heck did you tell her where we lived? We just got here yesterday," he asked, rubbing the sleep in his eyes. Looking out the window, he could see it was barely daylight out. "It's so damn early. Did you tell her to come over?"

"No!" Sakura whispered back sternly. "I… I might have texted her last night where we were staying, but I didn't tell her to come over yet, I swear!"

"Uh-huh," he replied, sighing. He really wanted to spend more time with Sakura before her summer classes started at the community college. He didn't want to have her mother inviting herself over already.

Hearing the stairs start to creak with steps, Sakura gasped and suddenly yanked all the covers around her to run towards their bedroom door.

"S-Sakura!" Kakashi stuttered, making a failed swipe after her as he was left completely naked with nothing to immediately cover himself with. Feeling cold, he placed one of the pillows over himself and pouted.

Opening the sliding door quietly, Sakura was careful not to reveal the bedding that was wrapped around her body. She poked her head out as her mother climbed to the top of the stairs.

"Mom! What are you doing here?" Sakura grumbled.

Her mother sighed. "Oh, there you are. I thought it would be nice to have a special breakfast with you guys with this being your first morning back home. Are you two not up yet?"

She glared. "It's barely seven!"

Her mother raised a brow. "And? You'd always wake up before seven."

She sighed in response, not feeling like arguing with her that normal people slept in later when they didn't have work or school in the morning. "We'll be ready in a bit..."

"Okay, I'll get started on breakfast then. I already brought all the supplies since I figured you guys hadn't gone to the store yet."

About to turn towards the stairs again, her mother hesitated and glanced at her daughter with a concerned look etched on her face. "Oh, and please be sure to wear something more than a blanket," she added, and then started down the stairs to find the kitchen.

Blushing in embarrassment, Sakura realized that she had leaned a little too forward from the bedroom door for her mother to see what she was wearing. Sighing, she slid the door shut and turned around to find Kakashi rolled over on his side in a fetal position in the middle of the futon. He was hugging a pillow to his lower region with a disdained look on his face.

"Hungry, love?" Sakura asked, titling her head slightly in an endearing way.

"…" He simply stared blankly at her.

Shuffling her feet across the tatami floor, she knelt down beside him and slowly placed one of the blankets that were wrapped around her over him. "Um, I know it's early, but if we go down and eat then the sooner she'll leave, okay?"

"…"

"I love you," she coaxed, shaking him slightly to try to get him to respond. "Can you get dressed, please?"

"I want to sleep," he finally grumbled. "You know how late we stayed up last night. I'm tired, Sakura. She shouldn't be here unannounced."

"I know, but she means well. I can't ask her to leave. She's already making us breakfast…"

He pulled the blanket up over his shoulders and turned completely away from Sakura. Closing his eyes, he said, "You go. Save me food."

"Kakashi," she whined, shaking him once more. "Please?"

"No," he mumbled into his pillow.

Crawling clumsily over him to face him, she kissed his forehead and said, "Kakashi-kun, please?"

"Nope."

She made a pitiful looking face and frowned. " _Kashi_ , baby, pretty please?"

Eying her for a split moment, she started to become hopeful until he pulled the blanket over his head.

Groaning, Sakura attempted to yank it down, but he kept a firm hold, further burrowing himself beneath the sheets like a groundhog.

"What if we had a… quick shower?" she suggested in a sultry voice.

"Together?" he asked, slowly pulling the blanket from his head to reveal his eyes.

"Mm-hum," she confirmed with a nod.

His eyes narrowed. "Doing what?"

"You know, things!" she replied with a furrowed brow.

He sighed. "I need specifics. A lot is hanging in the balance here, Sakura."

"It's just breakfast with my mother!" she scoffed.

"Exactly."

After a moment of silence, she sighed. "I'll just go and be hot… wet and naked in the shower by myself then. Doing naughty things to myself… _all alone_."

Kakashi's mouth went dry as he watched her rise up from the bed, dropping the sheets to the floor to give him a nice view of her behind as she sauntered her way over to their shared closest for a fresh change of clothes and a robe.

Giving him one last look, Sakura exited the bedroom and entered into the hall towards the bathroom.

Completely abandoning his fight to sleep in more, he scurried out from under the blankets and hurriedly ran to the closet to find some clothes. Throwing on some boxers, he slid open the door and was about two steps outside from the bathroom until he heard a voice from below.

"Oh, morning Kakashi-san."

He halted, reluctantly peering down the stairs to see Sakura's mother giving him an uneasy look with her hands on her hips.

Hiding the front of his boxers with the clothes he gathered, he replied back awkwardly, "Morning…"

"Where's Sakura-chan?" she asked, hesitantly glancing down at his boxers.

He glanced towards the bathroom. "Taking a shower…"

"Oh, well then, since she'll be awhile can you help me cook? I can't find all the pans and utensils I need."

"…"

Without waiting for a response, she walked towards the kitchen and motioned for him to come. "Please hurry and get dressed."

"…"

Glancing sullenly at the bathroom door, he bitterly sighed and slowly walked back into the bedroom. "Sakura owes me. She owes me so big," he mumbled aloud.

He took his time in getting dressed, taking several minutes just to put on one pant leg. Once he was finally finished, he made his way down the stairs, giving the bathroom door one final lingering stare before he descended into the kitchen.

By the time Sakura came downstairs, she did a double take when she saw Kakashi grumpily standing at the stove as he stirred into a pot.

Folding her arms, she frowned as she went to hover over his cooking. "I thought you passed up on the deal," she whispered in a disappointed voice.

"I was going to come… but then your mother forced me to be her helper, I mean _slave_ ," he corrected.

She sighed and patted his back. "You're going to have to get used to it."

He stopped his stirring and looked at her. "Huh?"

"I'm kidding." She kissed his cheek and went to gather some plates to set the table.

Despite not wanting to take any part in this little unannounced breakfast gathering, Kakashi's stomach rumbled slightly once all the food was set out on the table. Sitting across from Sakura, he fought back a yawn as her mother served them each a small sampling of food on their plates.

Noting his yawn, Sakura's mother tsk-ed. "My, you both are such late sleepers."

Kakashi hummed in response, slightly glaring at her.

"So, um… what do you think of the house?" Sakura spoke up, trying to divert her mother's attention.

"This house is quite gorgeous," she beamed, looking rather envious towards her daughter.

"Kakashi's very kind in letting us stay here for the summer," Sakura said appreciatively, quietly taking a bite of one of the fresh picked vegetables on her plate.

Her mother hummed in agreement. "How can you afford this on a teacher's salary?" she tactlessly asked.

" _Mom_ ," Sakura cut in with a glare.

Ignoring her daughter's concern, she looked towards Kakashi patiently waiting for an answer.

He paused in his chewing. "I rob banks on weekends," he replied dryly.

" _Kakashi_ ," Sakura sighed, narrowing her eyes at him in a silent request for him to tell the truth. She knew he was aware that her mother had a limited sense of humor.

He sighed under Sakura's glare, switching his eyes to her mother to find that she was scowling at him at him as well. "Haruno-san, I'm joking of course. I have a sizable amount of inheritance from my parents that I haven't touched until recently."

Her expression softened, looking a little apologetic as she replied, "Oh, I see."

After a moment of awkward silence, Sakura tried to shift the mood by talking about the recent weather. It seemed to dissipate the annoyed air between her mother and Kakashi for a short while.

Once Sakura fell quiet again, her mother took advantage of the pause between conversation and said, "So, I was thinking that since you both will be staying here in town for awhile…"

Kakashi halted mid-bite, starting to fear what she was about to say next.

"Maybe I should come over every day or so until things are settled when you both start school and work. I'm sure you both will be busy," she suggested with a shrug. "I could pick Sakura up when her classes are over or help with cooking. I wouldn't mind coming even earlier in the mornings."

Kakashi dropped one of his chopsticks, making a loud clatter against his plate as it fell on the floor. His face was expressionless, but inwardly he was horrified at the idea of her coming here every day at the crack of dawn.

"Um, that's not really necessary. I don't know what my schedule is yet at work, but I can pick her up and whatever else from school," he assured, reaching under the table for his fallen chopstick.

Her mother watched with mild concern as he disappeared beneath the table. "Oh, but it would be no trouble. I really don't have much to do these days and it's been so long since I've seen you, Sakura. What do you think, honey?" she asked.

Sakura uncomfortably fumbled with the napkin in her lap. "Um…"

Still under the table, Kakashi lightly speared his chopstick into Sakura's leg.

"Ow!" she hissed.

"Something wrong?" her mother asked, about to rise from her seat to see what was the matter.

Waving her mother back down to sit, she replied, "No, I'm fine. So, um, you really don't have to do that, Mother." Rubbing her leg under the table, she glared at Kakashi once he emerged.

"Are you both sure? It's no problem… I mean, I'm cooped up at home _alone_ most of the day and you know, it would be nice to spend some time with you both," she said in a sad voice.

Feeling guilty at her mother's words, Sakura glanced sympathetically at her mother and said, "Well, maybe you could…"

"Oh, wonderful then," her mother instantly said with a bright smile.

Rubbing his temple, Kakashi felt quite the headache coming on and knew it was only going to get worse if he didn't nip this idea in the bud right now.

Clearing his throat, he gently said, "Haruno-san."

Her brow rose as she looked up from her plate. "Yes?"

Trying not to lose his waiver from her pointed look, he said, "You can't come here everyday. I'm not saying that you can't ever, but at least ask before coming over. That's reasonable, right?"

She stared vacantly at him.

" _Right?_ " he reiterated, glancing at Sakura for help who was conveniently chewing a big mouthful of food. She nodded, but mumbled something incomprehensible.

"No, you're right. I'll do that," her mother replied with a polite looking smile.

"Oh… well, good," he said, slightly taken aback how easily she agreed on the matter.

Dabbing a napkin to her mouth, Sakura said, "So, Mom. What are your plans for the day after this?"

"Oh, I was just going to spend the whole day with you guys," she replied merrily.

Kakashi unintentionally let out a loud sigh, causing both of the pink haired women to give him a sharp look. Cowering more into his seat, he muttered an apology and that he was just tired.

Once they fell back into a comfortable conversation again, he pouted as he finished the rest of his breakfast. It was becoming clearer as the day progressed that her mother sincerely meant she would be with them the entire day.

When they explored the grounds of the house, which partly led off into a scenic walk into the open forest that went past the backyard, Sakura's mother was constantly like a wedge between them as she chattered away to Sakura most of the time. He tried to convince himself that it was understandable; she hadn't seen her daughter for a couple of months now since they last visited for Sakura's birthday, but he desperately just wanted to be alone with his girlfriend already, and feel less like a third wheel between the women.

He never had the chance to even talk to Sakura about this whole ordeal with her mother and it was already getting close to dinner time, which of course her mother volunteered to make them something again, but said they all needed to go grocery shopping first for some supplies.

At the grocery store, he sighed as he started to follow behind the chattering mother and daughter duo who decided at the last minute to team up to make something for dinner tonight. Clearly seeing he wasn't going to have a say in the matter, he pulled out his Icha Icha book to go off into a familiar smut-filled land to find solace.

A sudden gasp made his half-hooded eyes look up just in time for Sakura's mother to snatch his prized book from his hands.

"Why are you reading porn in public? There are children here!" she exclaimed in a hushed voice, looking rather embarrassed as she pinched the edge of the book as if it had some kind of disease.

It was one thing to spend his whole day with this woman, which he simply was for Sakura's sake, but now he couldn't even read his damn book. It was the only thing keeping him from not slipping into madness.

He rolled his eyes. "It's not porn and unless children are going to crawl up my back to hover over my shoulder, why does it matter what I'm reading to _myself_?"

"I'm not going to walk around the store with you reading this behind me," she sighed.

He huffed. "Don't tell me what I can or can't-"

Sakura suddenly snatched the book from her mother's grasp. "Mom, he can read whatever he wants to. He's a grown man."

Her mother frowned. "But I am not going to-"

"Hold on," Sakura interrupted. Looking at a magazine rack that they were near, she randomly grabbed one and placed Kakashi's book inside. "There. Now it'll look like he's just reading a magazine. Everyone's happy now, yes? I love you both, so please don't fight over something so trivial," she pleaded.

Glancing at the magazine, her mother sighed and started to push the shopping forward after reluctantly saying, "That's fine then."

Sakura watched her mother walk ahead of them before turning to Kakashi to hand him the magazine with the hidden book inside.

Flipping the magazine to face the front cover towards him, Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Sakura. " _Tiger Beat?_ "

She snickered. "Oh, I kind of just chose one without looking."

When Sakura's mother was far enough out of earshot, Kakashi muttered, "She's driving me insane, Sakura. I don't know how much longer I can do this. If she stays any longer after dinner I'm going to hang myself."

She sighed and pulled him into a hug. "Look, she's just really happy to see me and wanted to spend some time together today. Is that so much to ask? Just a day?"

"I haven't even gotten to talk to you until now," he grimaced. "And promise me she's not going to randomly pop over anymore after today."

"I know, but I'll make it up to you tonight, okay? And I'll make sure she'll ask first before coming over ever again," she agreed.

"Make it up to me how?" he asked, intrigued.

"Well, um…" She blushed and bit her lip. "Maybe we should pick up some ingredients for… _dessert_."

His eyes went wide in excitement. "Oh? You mean… with the nuts, chocolate sprinkles, whipped cream and cherry on top… that's all over you and nothing else?" he asked to clarify.

She sighed, slightly amused at how happy he suddenly seemed. "Yes."

"You'll really do it?"

Leaning up on her toes, she teasingly poked his chest with a growing grin and sincerely repeated, "Yes…"

He shot her a questionable look. "Are you lying?"

Dropping back on the ball of her feet, she sighed. "No! I mean it. So, put up with my mother's antics just a little longer, okay? Be nice. Now, go buy whatever ingredients you want and meet up with us back at the cart."

He suddenly hugged her as if she had just given him the greatest gift in the world. He picked her up and started to spin her around in a full circle, nearly hitting other shoppers passing by with her legs.

"Kakashi!" she yelled, feeling slightly embarrassed at all the people staring at them.

Placing her back down, he kissed her cheek and suddenly darted off to the find his desired ingredients like a kid who was suddenly given permission to raid a candy store.

Whatever burdening feelings of annoyance and despair he felt earlier had completely vanished. He could put up with _anything_ if meant fulfilling his deepest, darkest and dirtiest sexual fantasies.

As he picked up a bottle of sweet chocolate sauce and some whipped cream, he couldn't help but imagine it all gloriously being spread over every inch of her body. He would take his time to drizzle and lick each curve just to listen to her begging and moaning. God, he couldn't wait until tonight.

Saying nothing as he dumped the supplies in the basket once he met up with Sakura and her mother, he pulled out his Icha Icha… which he was met with a stern glare by her mother. Reluctantly, he placed the Tiger Beat magazine over it and stifled a sigh at how it probably looked a lot worse for a thirty something to be reading a magazine aimed towards adolescent girls. Instead of arguing about that point, he kept his promise in trying to be nice for the rest of the day.

Once dinner was served later that night, he practically sped through his portion of the meal, promptly helping to clear away any plates that were ready to be taken from the table.

Sakura's mother gave him a strange look from time to time as he hurriedly snatched plates from left and right, but she still took her time to eat, much to Kakashi's disappointment. After she looked full, she yawned and stretched.

"Thank you for dinner, Mom," Sakura said, nervously playing with her fork.

"Thank you, too, dear," she replied.

"Yes, it was delicious," Kakashi added. "So, about time to head on out, hum?" he asked, glancing briefly at Sakura who was starting to turn a light shade of red.

Her mother hummed. "Well, I suppose I should probably get going and let you two get some rest for the night."

"Right, _rest_ ," he nodded eagerly.

Helping her mother from her seat, he ushered her towards the front door while smoothly placing her purse and keys in hand. Sakura slowly followed after them and said a goodnight.

"Well, have a nice night," Kakashi said with a smile, and then quickly shut the door once her mother was far enough outside not to get hit.

Spinning around, Kakashi slowly stalked up to Sakura, looking at her like she was the feeble prey of a hunter. Locking his dark eyes with hers, he leaned himself into her and started to push her back towards the kitchen.

"Strip, right now," he said huskily.

Wordlessly, she shyly grinned and briskly started to unbutton her blouse.

He gently reached out to stop her nimble fingers and said, "Slowly."

Blushing, she looked down towards her shirt and started to do it slower and more sensually. Every button she undid further revealed her cupped breasts that were hidden underneath.

He hummed thoughtfully as he brushed a finger down her neck and between her breasts, making her breath hitch. "Mm, I'm so hungry for dessert," he teased.

She took in a shaky breath to reply, but her mouth snapped shut once they both heard the front door open.

"Guys?" Sakura's mother hesitantly called aloud.

Kakashi let out a string of curses as he darted behind the kitchen's island to hide the bulge in his pants that was steadily growing from before.

Seeing her mother enter, Sakura snatched her shirt together and abruptly turned around.

"Oh, there you two are," Sakura's mother said, looking at them both strangely because of how they were acting.

Leaning on his arm on the counter, Kakashi sighed and said, "Yes, Haruno-san? I thought you were leaving?"

Glancing at the keys in her hands, she frowned. "Well, I was trying to, but my car doesn't seem to want to start."

He hung his head and sighed once more before looking up. "Okay, well, I'll go fix whatever's wrong and then you'll be off."

She waved a gestured hand in protest. "It's so late and it's completely dark out. Don't worry yourself. I'll just stay here and you can fix it in the morning."

"…I _insist_ ," he said strongly.

"Well, please go ahead then," she said with a sigh. "But don't trouble yourself too much out there in the dark."

"It's fine," he grumbled. "If I can't, then I'd be happy to take you home."

She shook her head. "Oh, nonsense. Too much trouble. I'd rather just stay here."

"Lovely…" he muttered.

Walking closer towards them, Kakashi nonchalantly moved around the island to keep himself hidden below. Sakura finally turned around once her shirt was buttoned again, but didn't dare to look her mother in the eye.

"So, were you guys just getting that dessert you said you were going to make, Sakura? Can I have some?"

Sakura's cheeks turned into a bright blush. "I-I guess," she stammered.

Kakashi mildly chuckled at that, making her mother raise a brow at him. Quickly, he left the kitchen to head outside. He then realized he didn't have any kind of flashlight with him. They mainly brought clothes for the few months that they would be here for the summer. The house didn't come furnished with any kind of portable lamp or light for him to use. Despite not having light, he tried to at least start the car, but found it unresponsive. Looking under the hood, he sighed at the hopelessness of the situation from not being able to see any of the wiring.

Giving up, he shut the hood and went around to the back of the house. Sitting at the edge of the open porch, his feet dangled from over the sides as he leaned back to look up towards the night's sky. Sighing, he sulked figuring Sakura wouldn't want to do anything else tonight if her mother was sleeping over. Couldn't he just get a break?  
  


* * *

  
A few days later, classes had begun for Sakura at the community college, much to Kakashi's sadness. The promise of his Icha Icha fantasy to finally happen was completely derailed when her mother kept coming over every morning, claiming to forget to ask and always helping herself around the house. Then to make matters worse, she always lingered around at night, or stole Sakura away for a day out in the town. It was driving him crazy and kept putting a damper on their nights alone in one way or another. Now that Sakura was starting to get busy with classes again, she was either too tired or not in the mood lately. What a disappointing week he was having here so far.

Today was finally his turn to kick off the semester at the high school for his temporary job for the summer. Part of him was actually looking forward to it. He couldn't help but miss teaching karate since he had quit. He was still happy that he originally decided to do it though; else he and Sakura would have never ended up where they are now.

Kakashi walked down a familiar stretch of hallway, feeling rather nostalgic at how long it had been since he was last here inside the school. Besides helping out with the training of the new karate teams this year, he was more or less coerced by the head principle, Tsunade, who he's known for most of his teaching career here, into also assisting with a couple of summer classes that were programs aimed for exchanged students from America, given how fluent he was in English.

Shuffling through a few papers that were handed to him earlier to look over for his new schedule, he hummed in thought as he read his appointed time periods. He really didn't plan on working this much, but as long as he still had free time most of the evenings to be with Sakura, he figured he could manage.

Kakashi glanced up briefly to see Genma suddenly walk around the corner at the opposite end of the hall. He hadn't talked to him since he threw his drunken ass in a taxi that dropped him practically in the middle of nowhere on Christmas Eve that was quite a few hours away from town.

Before he could turn the other way, he locked eyes with the brown-eyed man for a split second.

" _You_ ," Genma said with a stern glare, quickening his pace down the hall with clenched fists.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See! I didn't forget about good old, lovable Genma. Kind of a teasing and (as many have commented on FF) annoying chapter with the mother, but I hope yall enjoyed it all the same.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	35. Plan C

**Chapter 35: Plan C**

" _You_ ," Genma said with a stern glare, quickening his pace down the hall with clenched fists.

"Crap," Kakashi muttered quietly, immediately whirling around as if he had forgotten something back the other way. As much as he would have normally loved to, he so wasn't in the mood to banter around with Genma right now.

Speed walking down the hall, he turned a corner briefly leaving Genma's sight, and then bolted down the hall like his life depended on it into an empty classroom. Hiding beside the door, he held is breath until he saw Genma stalk past, seemingly going further going down the hall.

After a moment, he poked his head out into the hallway and looked both ways. Not finding his angry brown-eyed friend anywhere, he stepped out and started to calmly walk the other way. Then he felt a hand firmly grip his shoulder, jolting him in surprise.

"Oh, my dear old friend. There you are," Genma said dryly, patting Kakashi's back in a not so friendly way.

"Hey… um, I'd love to chat, but you know. First day of classes. Busy, busy, busy," Kakashi said, twisting out of Genma's grasp to hurry his steps down the hall.

"Not so fast," Genma grumbled, yanking him back by his sleeve. "You owe me 111,531 yen, _friend_."

Kakashi hummed and in an astonished voice said, "Oh?"

He glared, clearly unamused. "Don't you, _oh_ , me. Tenzo said you volunteered to take me home on Christmas Eve. _You_ called a cab. _You_ gave them my credit card. _You_ left me to die in a cold, strange town."

"To die," Kakashi repeated with a scoff, rolling his eyes. "I'm sure they dropped you off at a bus station or something."

Genma sighed. "You have no idea how hard it was trying to come home with my card maxed out and no cash. Most people don't pick up hitch hikers without pants."

"What the hell happened to your pants?" Kakashi asked with a raised brow.

Looking flustered at the question, he replied, "Doesn't matter. So, you really owe me, Kakashi."

Part of him felt a little bad. That was quite the hit to the wallet, but he still found it quite hilarious. He supposed it was fair to pay him something to cover most of it, but he wasn't going to be easy about it. That would just suck the fun out of it.

Kakashi shrugged, looking unfazed by his friend's glare. "Consider it payback for messing with my phone on my birthday _and_ drawing all over my damn face with a permanent marker."

"It wasn't me!" he defended.

Kakashi glared.

"Fine, whatever," Genma said with a sigh. "But come on, I'm still paying off my damn card. You owe me _something_."

Seeing that he wasn't going to be able to leave anytime soon, especially with Genma keeping a firm grip on his shoulder like an eagle's claw clinging to a fish, he sighed and reached into his pocket.

Pulling out a small wad of paper from his billfold, he handed it to Genma in a crumpled ball. "There. Now we're even. Let's chat later sometime and catch up, yeah?"

Without another word, Kakashi quickly left down the hall making sure not to look back. Once he heard his name, he sprinted.

Genma unfolded the paper in his hand and blinked. "What the- it's some freaking expired coupons! _Kakashi!_ "

 

* * *

  
Kakashi sat on one of the metal benches outside of the main campus's soccer field, reading his Icha Icha and trying to drown out Guy's voice while humming occasionally in response like he was listening. Normally he would have been a bit more receptive towards Guy's over enthusiasm and even egg him on for amusement's sake. It was his first day back on the job after all, and many of his friends were probably going to want to catch up, but frankly his mind was worlds elsewhere.

He felt such a headache, no, a _migraine_ coming on and the day wasn't even half over yet. Guy was a good friend and he generally cared, but when he was overly excited on certain days, he was close to unbearable. Right now, Kakashi's life was already filled with an unbearable pink haired woman that was slowly becoming his waking nightmare.

By the time his mind registered back to Guy's voice, he wondered what on earth the first part of the conversation was that he missed.

"-like tender, glittering, youthful blossoms of flying bald eagles swooping down on the backs of children-"

"-Guy," Kakashi interrupted, making a puzzled look. _Bald eagles?_  
  
The sparkle in Guy's eyes faded as he halted from his story. "Yes?"

"Don't you have a class to attend to? Like I do…" He paused and purposely looked up from his orange book. "…with mine?"

Looking over the dog-eared page of his book that fluttered in the warm breeze, he watched his new scrappy karate squad continuing their assigned exercise routines. Since the start of class, as usual, there were a couple of trouble makers (very reminiscent of Naruto) trying to get under his skin. Majority were respectful, since many knew who he was. He was ranked one of the best in martial arts in Japan after all.

Unfortunately, he had to punish everyone to make an example of two members that were being disrespectful. It was a simple tactic to not only make sure your fellow team members were going to hate you if you didn't listen, but ensured to keep everyone else in line for the future. Every time one of them whined, wouldn't pay attention or kept talking without listening to instruction, Kakashi would make the whole squad do fifty more grueling moves that used a lot of stamina and strength. They had a proper, air conditioned training room, but he quickly opted to move class outside today to use the hot noon sun as an extra reinforcement. He kept adding more counts of each exercise until there wasn't a peep from anyone. Harsh perhaps, but it certainly was effective in making them listen.

"Oh, you're right. I'll let you get back to it," Guy replied with a thumbs up and an overly sparkling smile.

Returning the same gesture, minus the smile, Kakashi said he'd talk to him another time.

"At the party this Saturday!" Guy said enthusiastically, adding another thumbs up on his other hand. "I look forward to finally meet your pink-haired, flame of passion I've been hearing about."

Kakashi stared blankly. "Uh…"

Confused, he realized he really should have been paying attention to what he was saying earlier. Apparently he hummed in agreement to going to some get together this weekend… not that he was in the mood for such a thing. He sighed as he watched his self declared rival walk away.

Glancing at his squad again, he sighed once more at seeing how exhausted they all looked. The period wasn't even half over yet. Of course, he had been pushing them ever since the first bell rang…

A troubling thought suddenly occurred to him, realizing a bit too late that he might have had gone too far than he usually would have. He already proved his point to them twenty minutes ago that they needed to listen.

"Everyone, take a ten minute break," Kakashi called out.

One of the teens fell down to his knees and thanked God. Kakashi felt even worse at seeing that, but chuckled quietly when the young man realized he was watching him, and started to fearfully stare back at him like a deer in headlights.

He sighed and waved the kid off. "Go get some water."

Still feeling a bit bad as he glanced at the rest of the worn out team, he grimaced at the thought that he was indirectly taking part of his pent up frustration out on them. Just this whole irritable and excruciating week so far with Sakura's mother was driving him insane in more ways than one. Was his lack of control over her making him overly so with his own team because he simply knew how to?

For a first day, he really had been a bit too harsh than he normally would have been. Making a mental note to be sure and apologize before the class period was over, he looked back down at his book. He flipped a page out of habit, but wasn't reading a word of it as his mind wandered back to his predicament at home.

There should have been a line drawn days ago, or really, the second day they were here, but he was at a loss of what to do without blankly telling Sakura's mother to screw off. Doing so would be _beyond_ satisfying of course, but he didn't want to make the situation possibly even worse. Sakura wasn't his wife. She was his girlfriend, and strongly demanding her mother to stop visiting them probably wasn't going to blow over well. It was obvious she was still quite over protective of her. He could already picture all the guilt trip responses she would fire back at him if he forced her to not visit her own daughter so much.

He was only trying hard to avoid confrontation since her mother was still wary about them as a couple. He didn't want to push Sakura's only family away, although she was a big pain in the ass right now, but wanted to make Sakura's life less miserable if it meant her mother was happy about them being together. He didn't want her to worry over something like that. As much as he loved Sakura, and not giving damn about who approved of their relationship or not, it would make him feel guilty if he became a huge divide in her family.

He resented not having a family of his own growing up. He didn't have that refuge to turn to when things were getting tough, or when he didn't know what to do in many points in his life. It was one thing to be lonely, but another to have no family at all in his opinion. He wanted to say he was stronger for it, but he couldn't kid himself in how he really felt about it. If you can't fall back on anyone who's supposed to be your blood, then whom else was there?

No one.

And that's how exactly it's been for his entire life. Sakura was slowly becoming that missing piece where his own family should have been. On the night when he finally confessed to her about what his life was really like growing up, he felt such a relief. It was something that he had never told anyone before. He thought he was strong enough not needing to. That it didn't matter. Who would really care? But she did. She even cried for him. It stunned him to think that it was possible for someone to possess that kind of compassion.

She was no doubt kind in every sense of the word and it was one of the many reasons why he fell in love with her, but he didn't want to see her ever cry like that ever again. It hurt too much. All he wanted was for her to be happy. He knew how much self loathing and anger he felt about his own family being broken apart. He didn't want to see that happen to hers.

No family was perfect, but it wasn't something that should be so idly tossed away. He had a good reason for severing the ties from his remaining family, but her mother wasn't like his uncle. She wasn't abusive… just overly opinionated and perhaps a little crazy.

But this whole situation of her coming over every day was no doubt beyond ridiculous. It was making him realize how much there had to be balance between family and your personal time. He'd never had to deal with that before, but he could see clearly now that there had to be a line. Family or not, it wasn't normal by any means of how frequent she was coming over. He was dating Sakura and not her damn mother. He didn't need to see her _every day_. If he felt this irritated after only a week, how was he going to manage another if this kept up?

He beyond had the right to say something since this was _his_ house, but the older Haruno was clearly just about as stubborn as Sakura was. For days he had been dropping some not so subtle hints of telling her to leave a little earlier or not to come again tomorrow, which obviously didn't go anywhere. He hoped she would just get it out of her system of whatever this was, but clearly there had to be something more going on besides just testing his patience.

Sakura sympathized with him in the very beginning, saying she would hopefully give them a break after couple of days, but it was a week already and she wasn't wavering. It certainly was an eye opener on why Sakura said she could barely stand her mother for too long. She was an exhausting woman. He just didn't think it was to the likes of this. Was she always like this?

Absentmindedly flipping another page he wasn't reading, he thought about what was driving her mother to keep inviting herself over. To purposely see how they acted around each other living together? To prevent them from being intimate? Which she certainly was doing a fine job on the latter. It was driving him fucking bananas. He was still quite bitter about his Icha Icha fantasy being interrupted and now they barely had any time to do much of anything else besides sleep. Sakura had school in the mornings now and her mother always stayed well into the evening for one reason or another.

After being relentlessly teased that first day when her mother invited herself over, there was no way he was going to last much longer without some form of intimacy. Not just for the pure desire of it, but he needed to get things back to normal again and spend time together _alone_. It wasn't okay for her mother to strain their relationship in this way. Something needed to change and had to be tonight, or else he was going to fucking die.

"God, help me," he mumbled aloud, slumping his head into his open book in defeat. How was he going to fix this and keep her mother at a distance, but still close enough not to completely shut her out?

He started to repeatedly smack his book to his forehead to vent his frustration.

Realizing he still was in the middle of class, he stopped and lowered his book to find some concerned stares from his team. He sighed again. He really had a lot of explaining to do at the end of class, or else half of the kids were probably going to drop out of the squad from fear.

Looking up towards the beaming sun, he sighed again. He hoped today wasn't going to last much longer.

 

* * *

  
Sakura yawned as she closed the dreadfully boring medical textbook in her hands. To think she still had years more of this to look forward to wasn't a very uplifting thought. Untangling her aching legs she was sitting on, she rose up and left their makeshift study room, sliding the doors shut behind her as she went. Going into the kitchen, she plucked a few fresh grapes from a bowl they had recently bought to tide her over until dinner tonight.

Leaning against the window, she looked outside towards the empty driveway. She hoped Kakashi was coming home soon. For the first time in days, her mother actually wasn't here right now, but no doubt would be later. She felt really bad about her mother constantly coming over. It didn't take a genius to see how annoyed Kakashi was.

Ever since their second day here, Sakura was missing Kakashi as if he had been somewhere far away, yet he's been here the entire time. At nights, he had kept excusing himself to go to sleep early which was ultimately making it even harder for them to talk lately since she had classes so early in the morning. She knew it was because of her mother and that fact just made it even more depressing. He was practically hiding in their own house when she was over.

She had never seen her mother act like this before. Of course, this was the first serious relationship she'd ever been in with someone. That fact was new to her mother as well. Was she still having a hard time accepting she wasn't a little girl anymore? Was she just simply oblivious to what she was doing? Or did she really seem to miss her that much from being away for almost a year?

At first she thought that was the case, that her mother simply missed her. She was hoping if she spent time with her and Kakashi, she would see how happy they were and be satisfied with that. It was nice to catch up and spend some time with her, but figured she would back off at some point to give them some space. Now it was unbearable how often she kept inviting herself over unannounced half the time. She knew what it was like starting a confrontation with her mother and she was trying to avoid it, but this was turning from bad to ugly. She wasn't listening to either of them when they politely tried to tell her not to trouble herself in coming over to help, or do anything around the house. Two days ago, Sakura even told her a white lie that a certain day was inconvenient for a made up reason, but she still didn't listen and came over anyway claiming to forget. Sakura wanted to spend time with Kakashi, too, and felt like she couldn't. It was simply ridiculous.

Popping a grape in her mouth, she sighed and looked sullenly out the window. Seeing a car start to pull up the driveway, she nearly dropped the rest of her grapes her palm realizing that it was Kakashi. Tossing the rest on the counter, she ran out the front door, not even bothering to put shoes on.

When he saw her, a smile grew beneath his mask as she approached. Jingling his keys out of the ignition, he let himself out and scooped her up into a hug once she was close enough. "Happy to see me?" he asked with a small chuckle.

"Very," she replied, peeling his mask back long enough to give him a kiss.

"I missed you, too," he said warmly, setting her back down into the grass. He intertwined his fingers with hers. "How've you been, stranger?" he joked.

"I'm good," she replied with a smile. "How was your first day back at the high school?"

He shrugged. "Could have been better, but tomorrow's a new day."

"Did something go wrong?" she asked with a worried frown.

"Well…" He sighed. "My mind was kind of in another place today."

"Oh," she replied, feeling a little guilty. The only reason must have been her mother. "I'm sorry…"

"Is… _she_ not here?" he asked cryptically, eying their house with a glance.

Sakura nodded. "For the moment…"

He let out a relieved sigh. "Convenient she decided not to come by this morning when I had to work."

She sighed, looking away glumly, knowing he was right. "Yeah…"

He hummed, debating at first whether to say what he was thinking. "She's clearly doing this on purpose, Sakura. I think I see what she's trying to do. She's trying to put a strain between us."

She thought for a moment before asking, "What for?"

"To break us up," he replied somberly.

Her heart clenched at the thought. "She wouldn't! She's just…" She paused to look at the concerned look in his eyes. "Wait, we're okay, right?"

Sighing at the worry in her eyes, he ruffled a hand into her hair. "Sakura, don't be silly. You're stuck with me no matter if you like it or not. I love you too much."

She smiled at that. "Good, but I agree it's been really difficult with her being here lately."

He nodded and sighed. "A week of this is long enough. It's bad enough I hardly get any time with you alone and it's driving me crazy."

"I know… It's driving me crazy, too, and I'm sorry for how she's been acting. I mean, she's a little eccentric, but I didn't think she would keep bothering us every day. This is my fault for practically inviting her in the first place…"

"It's not your fault," he said softly, brushing a few strands of her hair from her green eyes. "Look, she's your family and that's important, but she has to be respectful of our time together as a couple. Let's just let her know how we feel and be stern about it, while trying our best not to come off like we're attacking her… which is going to be hard."

Still with her hand in his, she swayed her shoulders as she nodded. "Yeah… I'm worried about that. She's not the easiest person to reason with. Even if it does seems like common sense to give us some space, maybe she just doesn't realize it. I don't know..."

He hummed in thought, pulling at her hands. Glancing at his car, he chuckled. "Or, I do have a plan B."

She looked up with a curious, raised brow. "Which is?"

"We fake our deaths," he said with a straight face, not even batting an eye.

"…"

He smiled at her vacant stare. "I'll just drive my car off into a river and we'll head to Mexico, sound good?"

She groaned and smacked his chest. "You really do watch too many movies."

"What? You have a better idea?" he teased.

Rolling her eyes, she suggested, "How about we just lock the doors?"

"…Oh." He smacked his forehead and sighed. "Why in the hell didn't I think of that before?" he asked seriously.

She laughed. "I was kind of half-joking. She's going to know when we're home from your car, you realize, right? It would be kind of rude to not answer if she knows we're here."

He shrugged. "Then we should stick with plan B and just drive the car into a river."

She sighed. "No driving cars into a river."

"Then the ocean," he countered with a smile.

Smacking him playfully once more, she turned around and pulled at his hand to follow as she led them inside the house. She felt rather relieved knowing they were on the same page about everything with their small talk. He was being more than patient about everything, but a week was enough. They needed to put an end to it for the sake of their personal lives. If they didn't, her mother was going to keep acting like a thorn in their sides, and that wasn't something Sakura wanted. She wanted her mother to be happy on some level, but this wasn't the way to do it. There would have to be another way to make her happy. She still wasn't quite sure what they should do, but figured they would talk about it more a bit later.

Once they were inside, Kakashi dropped his book bag to the floor, making a loud thud from the weight. Sakura opened her mouth to ask why he was putting it there before she was abruptly pinned against the entryway's wall.

"Kakashi," she laughed, squirming against him in a playful attempt to free herself. She only encouraged him even more as she moved closer, gently nuzzling against his collar. She took in a deep inhale, smelling her favorite scent of his musky aftershave he always wore for her.

Pressing his hips into hers, he said, "I miss this," he whispered, pulling down his mask to make tender kisses against her ear.

"You missed attacking me?" she asked teasingly, gradually running down the tips of her fingers along his sides.

"Ravishing," he corrected, slowly kissing down along her neck.

She shuddered from his tantalizing kisses. "It's been barely a week, but it feels like forever."

"Oh, it's been forever," he confirmed, lifting her shirt slightly to caress a hand up along her smooth stomach. "And I can't wait a second longer, so I'm going to have you right here," he added in a demanding, husky tone.

To prove his intention, he hungrily kissed at her lips making her relax even more beneath him. He knew it wasn't going to take long to get him completely worked up. As much as he longed to finish what they originally started with his Icha Icha fantasy, he needed a quick release from all the pent up sexual frustration that had been growing for what felt like eternity. He wanted and needed her _now_.

She seemed to feel his urgency between his deep kisses, tightly clutching a hand at his shirt to pull him even impossibly closer. One of her palms climbed up along his sculpted chest, and the other gingerly clawed her nails lightly down his back, slipping her hand into his pants to grope his behind hidden beneath his boxers. She grinded into hips, making her groan at the friction of his already hardening body between the layers of their clothes.

He continued meeting her hips with his, exploring her with feverish hands up and down along her sides and back. Discreetly unsnapping her bra, he rolled his fingers across the hidden supple flesh beneath the front her shirt. Soon their breaths were steadily becoming heavy and erratic. Circling the tip of his tongue around her neck, he made her squirm blurring the line between tickling and pleasure as he bit and pulled at her firm skin.

"Aah," she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt every stroke and tease of his tongue. Her head thunked against the wall as he worked around her neck. Her delirious state was broken when he suddenly stopped to spin her around.

"Kakashi?" she asked hesitantly as she was pressed against the wall.

He trailed his hands along her arms until he interlinked his fingers between hers. He moved her hands up to plant them against the wall. "Trust me," he whispered behind her neck, feeling him even grin as chills trickled down her spine from his breath.

Before she could say anything else, he wasted no time in unzipping her blue jean shorts to shove a hand down the inside, making her gasp and her knees feel weak.

For a moment, they stayed like that as he rubbed a few teasing fingers inside her. Not being able to wait any longer, he slipped his hands to her hips to tug down her shorts and her underwear down together in one movement.

The sound of him pulling a zipper from behind made her bite her inner cheek in anticipation. When he thrust abruptly inside her, she yelped from the mix of shock and pleasure.

Then they both heard a car door slam outside.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kakashi bitterly grunted behind her in disbelief. He had no doubt who the only person in the world it would be, and manage the worst fucking timing _ever_.

"L-lock the door," she stammered, weakly raising a hand towards the lock that was just out of her grasp.

Firmly clutching a hand around her waist, he leaned them both so he could manage to slip a finger on the latch. "Done," he breathed, settling back upright to thrust inside her again.

"Aah," she whimpered with a slight groan in her voice. "W-we should probably go upstairs."

"I'm not moving from this spot," he stated gruffly, pushing into her again until he found a steady rhythm.

She moaned in response, not really finding a reason to protest when he moved a hand to rub against her bundled nerves. Quickly he was sending her over the edge. Leaning her head back against his shoulder, she cried out, feeling completely overwhelmed in deep-seated pleasure.

A knock against the front door made her suddenly tense with fear. When she heard her mother's voice call out, Sakura almost felt damn right shameful of doing this just a mere couple feet away from the door, but she sure as hell didn't want to stop. Unable to fight back another moan, her hands braced and fisted against the wall from under his weight as she tried to ignore the louder, persistent knocking. It was killing her, but so was Kakashi for an entirely different reason.

Her mind was brought back to what they were doing when she tipped over into pure bliss, making her scream so loud that he was forced to place a hand over her mouth to muffle her voice.

At least the knocking seemed to stop.

"Sakura," Kakashi groaned out, sucking in a breath as he quickened his thrusts inside her. She started to whimper again as she neared another release. When he heard her scream, he came undone and fell into his own blissful release.

Then he realized it wasn't Sakura who screamed.

His hand was still over her mouth from before. Feeling his hammering heart practically drop to the floor, he slowly turned his head to find her mother standing at the back door from the porch staring back at him. She looked absolutely mortified beyond words.

She was drained in the face as her lips were pressed together, but appeared to try and move them to say something. Yet, for a full minute no one said a word in the awkward tension-filled silence as they stood frozen in place.

"Call before you come over," Kakashi finally said flatly.

Without another word, her mother spun back the way she came and never looked back.

Sakura mumbled into his hand to let her go. When he did, she quickly moved to break the union between them and spun around looking flushed in her cheeks.

"God, I-I can't believe she saw us like that," she stuttered in an embarrassed voice, quickly pulling back the bottom half of her clothes around her hips.

"Well, at least she's leaving," he pointed out rather enthusiastically, hearing the car door slam again outside, followed by the revving start of the engine.

Looking shamefully towards the floor, Sakura peeled away from the wall to head into the kitchen.

"Sakura," he called out in concern.

Not receiving a response, he sighed and redressed himself before following. "Sakura, come on. It's not the end of the world."

"It's weird," she replied back, still looking red in the face. "I would rather have anyone else walk in on us, except her. What's she going to think of me now?"

"That you're a woman," he replied simply.

Feeling a little guilty, Kakashi sighed as he drummed his fingers against the kitchen's counter. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to tell her he somewhat expected it to happen the moment her mother first knocked. He knew it was very unlikely the back would have been locked, but he didn't want to stop for many reasons. Then he figured if she caught them, it would finally force her to stop coming over unannounced anymore.

"Look on the bright side," he added. "We won't have to explain why she should stop coming over so much."

Sakura stared blankly into the distance. "I'll never be able to speak with her again."

He forced himself not to roll his eyes. "It's not a big deal, Sakura. People have sex. It's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. You really have no idea how often people do walk in on something like that, and that's including parents."

"Has it ever happened to you with yours?" Realizing his parents were long gone before he even hit puberty, she quickly added, "I mean in general… of being caught."

"Sure," he replied vaguely.

She hummed curiously. "Like?"

"Like…" He thought for a moment and then sighed. "No, last thing I ever want to do is talk about my past relationships. Just trust me, I know the feeling."

"Well, but why not? I don't care. It's in the past," she replied, still slightly a bit intrigued. What kind of women did he date before her? She really had no idea.

"I'm not proud of any of it and it's just not a good subject to talk about," he murmured, look away from her gaze.

Seeing that he really seemed uncomfortable on the matter, she said, "You don't have to. Forget I asked."

Moving across the kitchen, she pulled him into her arms and gave him a tight hug. Placing her chin against his chest, she looked up and asked, "So, I guess since we really might be all alone tonight for once, what shall we do?"

Kakashi hummed, hugging her back as he thought. He still had paperwork to look over from today, but to hell with that. A smirk started to form at the edge of his lips. "I think we should pick up where we left off."

"Huh?" She looked up at him in confusion until she saw him glancing at the refrigerator. She blushed. "Oh."

"Remove your shirt slowly," he teased.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really sure what my thing is with eagles lately, but every time I write the word I'm envisioning a zoomed close up of an eagle's face with a serious expression… Makes me lol. 
> 
> I have on idea why. I'm a strange, strange person.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	36. Frayed Strings

**Chapter 36: Frayed Strings**

Panting, Sakura slowly opened her eyes to find Kakashi staring back at her with the biggest grin on his face. She started to chuckle as she reached two fingers to pick out a nut that was wedged in the chocolate sauce that was peppered in his silver hair.

"You have so much chocolate in your hair you almost look like a Dalmatian, Kakashi," she teased as her laughs began to finally subside.

He playfully huffed with a slight chuckle. Taking her hand in his, he started to affectionately suck each of her sweet tasting fingers. "Your hair looks _much_ worse right now," he murmured.

Smiling, she slid from his sticky bare chest to lie beside him. They stared up at the kitchen's ceiling as both caught their breaths. Completely sprawled out nude in the middle of the kitchen floor, they started to laugh again once Kakashi pointed out that somehow there was chocolate sauce on the ceiling fan.

"H-how in the hell did that get there?" she laughed. "My God, Kakashi!"

"Don't blame me. Look at all of the chocolate-covered imprints of your butt all over the cabinets." He hummed and added with a small smile, "They kind of look like hearts. It's _cute_."

She fought back a blush, slowly brushing a thumb over his wrist that was across her stomach. "Well, you shouldn't have rubbed two whole bottles of chocolate all over me."

"But that's the fun part, Sakura," he darkly added.

She sighed. "That wasn't even part of your damn book!"

"I can make some story changes if I want to," he pouted. "After reading it for so many years, I think I have the right to."

"You made me recite the lines word for word!"

"But isn't role playing fun?" he mused.

She sighed and muttered a quiet, "Well, maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Fine, yes," she grumbled, hating to admit that he was right.

"So, can we do the next chapter tomorrow?" he asked in a hopeful voice.

Long silence.

Turning her head to meet his mischievous eyes, he gave her a pleading pout. Rolling her eyes, she shifted up slowly onto her elbows and started to stand up. Reaching her hands out to him, she offered to help him up. Her foot slowly began to slip from his weight as she pulled him up from the floor.

"Gosh, it's so slippery," she sighed, nearly falling backwards before he caught her.

"It's kind of fun like this," he said, slowly pushing a foot out to slide across the kitchen like he was ice-skating. "Let's keep it this way."

"I'm so not cleaning this anyway," she claimed, eyeing the syrup covered floor tiles. Cautiously, she made her way around the kitchen by clinging along the counters, trying not to fall.

"Hey, you're just as much at fault here," he pointed out.

She narrowed her eyes at him as she started to follow him. "It was _your_ idea."

"Takes two to tango, Flamingo-chan."

Sighing, she pretended to ignore him until she suddenly slipped, toppling forward into his back before he whipped around to catch her.

"Thanks, Turtle-kun," she sighed in relief.

Grabbing a couple of napkins from the kitchen's island, she wiped her feet before stepping into the living room that was adjacent to the kitchen with Kakashi's help. Tossing him the napkins, she waited for him to step next to her. Staring at the kitchen together from the archway, they began to chuckle again.

"Okay, you're right. This is kind of bad," he admitted.

There wasn't a clean spot left in the kitchen. It was like a tsunami wave of chocolate sauce had crashed into the room, devouring nearly everything in sight. Besides the smudges of chocolate, there was a various mix of nuts, whip cream and strawberries scattered about. Perhaps he had gotten a little too carried away, but she had to admit that she did, too. The aftermath was messy beyond belief, but it was a fun experience she'll probably never forget anytime soon, at least until next time.

"I think I'm officially as much of a pervert as you are now," she sighed.

"It's about time," he teased.

Grinning, Kakashi flicked the kitchen lights off and turned her towards the stairs. "Let's worry about cleaning it tomorrow."

"How on Earth are we going to clean everything?" she asked, carefully heading up the stairs and making sure to not touch anything else with her sticky fingers and legs.

"Hose," he replied simply.

"What?"

He smacked her naked butt, making her gasp in surprise. "Don't worry about it."

"Kakashi," she playfully warned, feeling him snake his arms around her waist as they reached the top of the steps. Slowly, he moved his hands down her stomach, making her breath hitch in anticipation as his fingers moved lower and lower.

A mischievous grin appeared across his face, pushing her inside the bathroom. "Need to get you cleaned up."

 

* * *

 

Sakura sighed for the sixth time, concentrating on the road descending beneath the car as she clenched her small fists around the steering wheel. Kakashi was next to her in the passenger seat, too groggy this morning to even attempt to read Icha Icha like he usually did. Also there was the small fact that he was having a hard time not to have a panic attack as he watched his pink-haired lover drive his car. Why did he have to agree to let Sakura drive today? He inwardly sighed.

He knew exactly why, of course. She had asked to take the car this morning so that she could talk to her mother today in private. He wouldn't have minded taking her after work and even offered to, but she wanted to be alone and didn't want him to worry. He knew they should talk things out at some point, but he worried for her. He didn't want her to become upset. If he went with her though, that was like entering the cave of a crazed dragon who probably wanted to bite his head off. He'd rather take his chances with Sakura maneuvering around the dead squirrels in the street, nearly hitting other cars in her wake.

A jolt of the car made his hand squeeze discreetly against the inside door handle. "Their already dead, Sakura," he sighed.

"It's disrespectful to further deprecate them," she reasoned.

"They're squirrels."

"And?"

"…"

He kept silent, knowing it would be best not to argue on the matter if he didn't want an added headache this morning. He also wanted to at least part ways on a happy note, especially knowing she was going to see her mother later.

After the incident of her mother finding them in a position that she probably never cared to see ever in her life, she hadn't contacted them for several days now. He was happy of course, but ultimately felt guilty. It was his idea after all to let her find them like that. She had given Sakura the silent treatment before, but this time seemed different. Had he driven her mother into that much of a shock? Maybe. She'd get over it, wouldn't she? Maybe.

Her lack of communication was making Sakura feel guilty, too, finally making her suggest dropping by her mother's house this morning. He simply replied it probably was a good idea if she did. If they talked and something positive came out of it, he'd feel a little better after the fact. Figuring the subject was sensitive enough as it was already, it would be best if they both talked without him there, but if she asked him to go he would of course. He just had a feeling it would end up disastrous if he did though.

Feeling another swerve of the car, he winced while he braced a hand against the dashboard. He wondered why in the hell there were so many dead animals on the road in the first place. The town was quite forested, but this was ridiculous.

"I'd hate to see what you'd do if there was a live one running across the road," he muttered.

She hummed, staring a little more intensely on the road. "I'd avoid it."

"While not crashing into anyone else, right?"

"Depends."

"…"

After a moment of silence, Sakura let out her seventh heavy sigh.

"Okay," Kakashi said softly, relaxing his hands a bit from their death grip against the dashboard. "What else is on your mind besides dead squirrels?"

"What should I say to her?" she asked, frowning a little as she slowed the car, approaching a traffic light.

"I don't know, you know her better than I do," he replied with a shrug.

She pouted further at that unhelpful reply.

"Just be straightforward," he added with sincerity. "Really, why don't I just come with you," he offered.

As much as he didn't like the idea, it would be easier to talk to her mother about it if he was there as support.

Shaking her head, she said, "No, it's an embarrassing subject… and she's my mother. So, I think it's best if I try to talk with her first. She probably just feels ashamed of me, I guess."

"Don't think that. Like I said before, sex is a natural thing between two people. We love each other and we're both consenting adults. Well, more or less adults."

"More or less?" she repeated, with a raised brow.

He sighed, not really enjoying pointing out facts that he liked to keep buried away in the back of his mind. "By Japan's law, you're still a year shy of being considered a legal adult at twenty. Age of consent is something else entirely however."

She skewed a look at him. "Did you do a lot of research into that?"

"Not too long after we first got together," he admitted. "I wanted to know what I was possibly getting myself into by falling for you."

"What if I wasn't of consenting age?" she asked, mildly intrigued of what he'd do.

"I'd be screwed," he sighed.

"In more ways than one," she jested, though he was probably being serious. Giving him a sideways glance, she grinned at his amused smile.

"Anyway," he yawned. "I'm pretty sure your mother realizes by now how much she was invading our privacy to begin with. So, don't worry too much. If it goes really badly, you know where to find me."

"At the school?" she asked in surprise.

"That's where you're dropping me off," he said dully.

"But you'd be working."

"It doesn't matter," he murmured matter-of-factly. "You can always come to me no matter what the reason."

She hummed thoughtfully, hiding a warm smile to herself. Even if it did go horrible with her mother, she wouldn't want to come crying to him at work. It was enough to know that the offer was there though. It showed how much he really cared, making her heart happy in so many ways.

Pulling in front of the high school, her eyes searched the familiar premise feeling how strange it was that it really hadn't been too long ago when she graduated from this place. Now here she was dropping off her former sensei. Never would have guessed she'd be doing this in a million years.

Kakashi turned to her, caressing a fingertip along her jaw to pull her to his unmasked lips. Kissing her tenderly, he pulled away with an appreciative smile before tugging his mask up.

"Have a good day at school," Sakura said in a motherly tone, patting the top of his head like he was a child in a joking manner.

Scowling at her playfully for doing that, he tickled her in retaliation, making her squirm in her buckled seat with a squeal.

"Kakashi!" she laughed, poorly attempting to smack his wiggling fingers away from her stomach.

Finally stopping, he rubbed his hand briskly on the top of her head like she had done to him. "I'll see you a little bit later, love you."

"Love you," she beamed.

"Please don't crash the car trying to avoid squirrels," he murmured before shutting the car door behind him.

Sticking her tongue out childishly at him as he waved goodbye, she carefully pulled out from the school and back into the main traffic. Sighing once more, she wondered if she should really go see her mother. It was the right thing to do, she figured. Her mother tended to give her the silent treatment when she was upset. It was exactly what she had done when she was perturbed over her disappearance during the week she was secretly in France. After a few days, she knew her mother would be willing to talk about things, but she just had no idea what to say about the subject of sex in general. It was embarrassing, especially since she had been caught doing such a thing.

Her mother never did talk much about the birds and the bees when she was growing up. Her only thoughts on the subject were that she needed find the right person and get married first. Obviously, Sakura had skipped on the second criteria. Her mother didn't take it well at first, but she seemed to accept it when they had the most awkward conversation of her plans with birth control. Of course, she supposed protection was different than actual acceptance.

Sighing yet again, she continued down the familiar streets that led to her old home. When she finally parked in front of her house, she was having even more feelings of trepidation once she stepped out of the car. She hated dealing with her mother when it came to confrontations, but someone had to be the bigger person instead of trying to ignore everything that's happened. Might as well be her this time around.

Strengthening her determination to do this, she walked up the steps and gave a brief knock to the door. It felt weird doing that in a place that's been her home for years. She still had the keys to open the door if she wanted, but she didn't feel right doing so. Slowly, she was becoming a stranger to her former childhood home. Somehow that thought seemed a bit depressing.

Sakura looked up once she heard the locks being opened from the inside. Her mother cracked the door open, looking surprised to find her standing there.

"Hello, Sakura," her mother said formally.

"Hey, Mom… um, could we talk?" she asked, glancing down towards the steps as she waited for an answer.

Without a word, her mother stepped back and opened the door to invite her inside.

Feeling a little intimidated under her mother's questionable gaze, she quickly stepped through and slipped off her shoes without thinking like she had so many times before here.

Sakura calmly walked towards the living room, turning to see if her mother was following. They both sat on the separate ends of the couch.

Picking up the remote for the television that was on, her mother made a few clicks with her thumb on a button to drown the sound. After a brief moment of silence, her mother sighed and said, "Well?"

Sakura shrugged, fidgeting a finger against the sofa and said, "I, um… wanted to see if you're okay. It's been a while since I've heard from you."

"Here I am. So, now that you've seen I'm alive, anything else?" she asked dryly.

She sighed, crossing her arms together as she looked towards her mother. "Obviously you're upset."

"Mortified is probably a better word."

"Look, I didn't mean for you to see that."

"Right," her mother said in an unconvinced tone. "He certainly did."

"It was an accident, but about what he said to you before you ran off, he was just upset at how often you kept coming over. So was I," she admitted. "You were making it hard for us to just be alone together. Coming over everyday at all hours isn't normal even if I am your daughter. You couldn't have been that oblivious that we needed space. Why did you keep coming over unannounced? It's rude."

Her mother shrugged, staring off into the flickering television screen that was on mute. "I wasn't comfortable."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, slightly confused.

"I'm having a hard time not looking at you as my baby girl still, I guess," she sighed. "I didn't expect you to change so much once you left for college. Frankly, I wasn't prepared when I first came over that morning and saw you wrapped up in that sheet. It made me realize how much I don't like the fact that you two are sleeping and living together. I know you're growing to be an adult, Sakura, but I can't help but feel it's too soon for you to be like this with someone already. With how much older he is than you, it almost seems sick."

Offended, her daughter glared and spat, "Seems sick?"

She sighed. "You know what I mean."

"That you're still fucking as judgmental as ever," she shot back. "You said you'd have an open mind, _Mother_."

"Sakura," she warned, not liking her daughter's sharp words. "I'm trying to have an open mind."

"Like hell you are. You already knew that we were being intimate before we came down here. You know how long we've been together now. Why in the hell are you acting like this _now_?"

"Because it's blatantly in front of my face now?" she said impassively.

"It's your own damn fault for barging in the house. People don't do that!"

"But you're my daughter and-"

"That doesn't matter!" she cut in. "You keep trying to mother me and pretend like I'm not capable of doing anything! Or whatever I do is wrong. I'm not living with Ino anymore. I'm living with someone who I have a serious relationship with. What the hell are you thinking, _seriously_?"

Her mother sighed and hesitantly said, "I came over unannounced all the time because I wanted to be sure nothing was going on that I shouldn't know about. What goes on behind closed doors is entirely different than on the outside. I know from experience and I was miserable for many years without anyone else knowing."

Gripping the seat of the couch angrily beside her knees, Sakura said, "I've told you, regardless of how old we both are, no one's taking advantage of anyone. Kakashi isn't a bad person. Why are you so wrapped up in the stupid things? He's there for me and loves me. Can't you see that?"

"I'm just…" her voice faded. "I'm just afraid to say its okay. I don't want to get behind someone when I'm not quite sure what he's really about. You're so serious about him and it scares the hell out of me. He seems like a good man, but so did my first husband. My worst fear is him ending up exactly like he did."

" _I'm not you!_ " Sakura yelled. "I'm not a kid. Stop trying to control every little thing and let me become independent. I've been trying to be considerate about you worrying like you _always_ do, but now it's just ridiculous. It really hurts how much you don't seem to trust me. What's even worse is that you can't even be happy for me when I need your support the most. Everyone else is happy for me, but _you_."

"I'm sorry, but it's-."

Cutting her mother off with an annoyed groan, Sakura pulled out the necklace that was tucked away inside her shirt and held it up. "You see this? This was his mother's necklace. You've heard what happened to his parents when he was a kid, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did," Her mother said faintly, glancing at the necklace almost apologetically as it dangled in Sakura's hand.

"Do you have any idea how much this means to him? How much it means it me? You're right that you don't know what goes on behind closed doors. You don't know a damn thing about his life growing up and you don't deserve to. You think he's simply insincere and untrustworthy just because he's a little older than I am?"

"Over a decade older," her mother remarked.

Sakura burned a glare at that comment. Sighing, she dropped the necklace gently back against her chest. "You know what? I give up. You'd probably never be happy no matter who I choose to be with."

Rising up from the couch, she went straight towards the front door and made a point not to look back.

"Sakura," her mother called out, making her hesitant in turning the doorknob to leave.

"Just don't," she replied back, feeling the hurt she felt start to flare in her throat. Taking in a deep breath, she opened the door and shut it firmly behind her.

Whispering a curse under her breath, she went inside the car and started the ignition. With a deep exhale, she calmed down a little from the burning anger that was beginning to ache in her chest. She felt so tired of everything; she was tired of arguing, tired of trying to please her mother. She knew it was about time she started to give up on making her mother happy. What was the point if she was just going keep becoming miserable right along with her?

Why did it have to be so hard for her mother to let go and simply let her grow up? Her mother was doing everything a parent shouldn't be doing. She was practically smothering her in her beliefs and undermining her decisions, like her relationship with Kakashi, in almost every way. It was so disheartening that she couldn't just let her be happy.

Part of her understood why her mother was worried because of her own dark past, but that was just that. It was in the past. Why was her mother so terrified of her making a mistake when it came to who she loved, or anything else in her life? Everyone makes them at some point. Nobody's perfect.

Of course, she realized that her mother was always about perfection as she grew up. If her mother wasn't cleaning or organizing things almost obsessively at home, she was making sure Sakura did what she was expected to do. She only managed to be salutatorian of her class simply because of her mother's drive for her to make high scores in her classes. Sometimes she felt grateful that her mother drove her in that way. It helped her make good study habits, which in the long run was making it easier disciplining herself to study for medical school.

Then again, she never was a fan of her mother's self-imposed pressure and backhanded comments. She never even congratulated her on even being salutatorian of her class in high school. Most parents probably would have been very proud. Being second in one's class was no easy feat in any high school. Her mother simply shrugged at the news, asking who received valedictorian. Sakura could tell she was disappointed, even if she didn't say it.

Feeling tears start to sting her eyes, she sniffled and tried to compose her thoughts. She never really thought about how she felt about it before. It was easier not to dwell on the hurtful actions her mother did that always seemed normal at the time. It was always best not to think about what it all really meant to her and leave it in the back of her mind. She couldn't pretend anymore not to be upset when it came to Kakashi though. He meant so much to her that no words could possibly describe. The fact that he was such a good man in the first place just made everything even harder. He was the best thing in her life and her own mother couldn't see it. Maybe she just refused to see it.

Hearing a knock against the car window, Sakura jolted in her seat and glanced to find her mother giving a weak wave. Wiping her eyes, she sighed and rolled the car window down with the press of a button.

"What?" Sakura asked in a brisk tone.

"I'm sorry," her mother said apologetically. "Come back inside. I don't want to end things like this with you."

"Are you actually going to listen to what I have to say? You know, I've realized what a terrible mother you are," Sakura said harshly.

"I know," she said softly. "I am."

Sakura glanced at the sincerity in her mother's face and sighed. Turning the car off, she reluctantly opened the car door to follow her mother back inside the house. She felt so tired of hanging onto the hope that her mother would truly understand and accept her. They had done this before. How was this time going to be any different?

With every step she took, the more her legs felt heavy with hate. She really wanted nothing more than to just turn back around and leave, but she remembered she had made a promise. The only reason she still kept walking forward was for Kakashi.

"If you're really going to listen, then I have something to tell you," Sakura murmured, closing the door softly behind her.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his chair as he held his book up with one hand, munching on small portion of a sandwich with the other. Someone cleared their throat to gain his attention, but he firmly glued his eyes to the page he was reading.

"Kakashi, come on. We've already planned everything out for this Saturday. Guy said you agreed to bring Sakura, too, earlier this week!" a voice pleaded.

Taking a hidden bite of his sandwich behind his book, he rolled his eyes at hearing another fake cough to egg him to respond. Slowly, a finger appeared over the words he was trying to read, coming dangerously close to touching his chicken sandwich.

Snapping his book shut, he barely missed the trespassing finger, but smacked the intruder's hand with a loud whack.

"Ow!" Genma hissed.

Glancing around the round table he was seated at, Kakashi scowled at the various faces staring back at him. "Can't I eat my lunch in peace?"

"Just say you'll both come already," Tenzo mumbled between his bites of a sushi roll. "Then we'll leave you alone."

"It's not like it's just us. Anyone else who knows you will be there. It's just a general mix thing. You don't need to worry," Asuma added, even though they couldn't smoke inside the building, he was tapping a pack of cigarettes in his hand out of habit against the table.

Kakashi raised a brow at his friends. "Why are you all so adamant about her coming?"

"You've never dated anyone this long ever in your youthful life," Guy said, looking to be on the verge of tears. "It's beautiful."

"Or even combined of all who you've dated so far," Aoba added.

"And there's a be-," Guy started to say.

Genma jabbed Guy in the ribs, making him wince. He smiled, twirling a toothpick between his teeth, trying to play it off.

"Uh-huh," Kakashi said unemotionally, clearly seeing his friends were plotting something.

If their scheme had anything to do with Sakura he wanted no part in it. They were decent guys overall and were mostly harmless, but sometimes their shenanigans were pretty childish in his opinion. Of course, most of the time he joined right along with them in their antics, but that was beside the point.

Clearing his throat to break up their whispers, he added, "I said I'm the only one going already, so stop pestering."

His friends exchanged silent looks between one another before returning some of their attention to their own boxed lunches.

It's not that he didn't care for most of them to finally meet her, but not at one of their infamous parties. If his disaster of a birthday bash was any indication, it wouldn't be a good idea to invite her to come along. This was a small town, so they were usually bored out of their minds on most weekends and were probably planning something ridiculous once they heard he was coming back for the summer.

After the exhausting week with dealing with her mother, he really just wanted to spend a quiet night at home with Sakura for the entire weekend, but he supposed attending a little party wasn't that bad. As long as he didn't drink too much he'd be fine and have a good time like he usually did. He couldn't deny that he did miss his silly friends here. They were basically his only friends, really. It was kind of them to throw something together for his stay back. It was probably just an excuse for them to drink though, but no matter.

Yawning while making a small stretch, Kakashi started to pack his things to get ready to leave.

"Kakashi, you still owe me," Genma said, extending his hand across the table and patiently motioning his fingers as a hint to place some form of money into his palm.

"Oh, right," he replied like an afterthought, crumbling the left over paper bag from his lunch, he flicked it towards Genma's head as he sat up from his chair, making the others chuckle.

"Jerk," he mumbled half-heartedly, rubbing his nose as he tossed the trash back towards Kakashi.

Kakashi easily deflected it and simply offered an eye-crinkle of a smile. Making a simple wave of a gesture to say goodbye to everyone else, he left the teacher's lounge to prepare for his next scheduled class.

As he walked down the hall, he pulled out his phone from his front pocket to send Sakura a text asking to let him know if everything went okay. He hoped it didn't go too badly, but her mother did seem the type to turn everything into some kind of argument. He didn't know much about her mother and their relationship before he entered the picture, but he had a good idea how hard she seemed on Sakura. She seemed to hold high expectations for her daughter, but so did most parents. It was understandable in that sense, but there had to be a balance somewhere, else it only did more damage than good.

He could tell when he met her that there was some good somewhere inside of her. It was clear that she loved her daughter. Perhaps she just didn't show it in the right way all the time, but it was there. It gave him a small bit of hope that she would accept them. Then everything would be perfect. Everyone would be truly happy finally.

As easy as it was to just ignore Sakura's family and be solely together in their own little world, it was the last thing he would ever want. It wasn't just that he didn't have a family of his own. Someday he wanted to make her his wife.

Nearly seven years ago, he had witnessed a marriage where the bride's family refused to attend the wedding. He went as one of the bridesmaid's dates at the time. The couple's friends were there, but there was a sadness that lingered over the entire ceremony like a heavy fog. The empty seats meant for family inside the wedding hall were evident enough of what was going on. He didn't say anything at the time, but he didn't want Sakura to experience something like that. That just didn't seem fair.

Trying not to think too much about the subject anymore, he focused the rest of his day on teaching and grading stacks of assignments built up over the week. He sneaked a look at his phone every now and then in hopes that Sakura would have messaged back. He started to worry after not hearing from her in three hours, but finally received a reply before the start of his last class of the day.

' _Sorry for the late reply. I'm fine, but we need to talk. Don't worry. Love you and miss you~'_

Naturally he was still worried regardless of her telling him not to. _'We need to talk'_ was stereotypically always some kind of bad sign. Maybe the talk with her mother didn't go well? Or worse… she invited her mother to live with them without asking him first. He shuddered at that thought.

After he locked up the classroom when his final class was dismissed for the weekend, he took his time and strolled towards the front entrance of the school with his hands in pockets, looking indifferent as ever to the small crowd of teachers and students passing him. He stopped in front of one of the many windows near the main lobby of the school, watching as students made their way to walk home or be picked up by their parents. He recognized a few of them, since he was slowly getting to know his students from his classes and martial art team. Although the hours were getting a little longer than he liked some days, he did enjoy teaching. It was nice putting effort into something that had meaning in someone else's life, even if it was a small significance; he liked to believe it was the little things that mattered anyway. It certainly was the case for him.

Hearing a message tone from his phone, he brought it out to find Sakura had texted him that she was almost there to pick him up.

Feeling an arm suddenly wrap around his shoulders, he raised a brow at Genma as he started to lead him outside.

"So, are on your way home, old friend?" Genma asked.

"Are you trying to pickpocket me now?" Kakashi asked back, eyeing him suspiciously of how close Genma was clinging to him.

He sighed, releasing him instantly. "You know me too well."

"Uh-huh. So, give it back," he said, holding out his fingerless gloved hand. "Petty thief."

He huffed, revealing the wallet he had snatched from behind his back and opened it. Rolling his eyes, he tossed it back to Kakashi in disappointment. "Of course, it's empty. I hate this game with you. Seriously, when are you going to pay me back?"

"I find it quite amusing," he said in good humor and added, "Never."

Genma made a depressed sigh, glancing across the line of cars that shifted in turns through the looped driveway in front of the school. Seeing that Kakashi hadn't moved except to bring out his book from his back pocket, he smirked.

"Oh, so I'm guessing Blossom drove you today, huh?" he asked.

Kakashi hummed in response, not really agreeing or disagreeing to his deduction.

"Cute," he taunted.

Flipping a page, he remained silent as he waited. After a minute, he glanced at his brown-eyed friend and sighed. "Shouldn't you be going home?"

"I don't want you to be lonely while you wait."

"I'd rather be alone."

"Lies," he murmured, peeking over Kakashi's shoulder at his book.

He hated when people read over his shoulder. "Shoo."

He sighed, looking bored as he waited with folded arms across his chest. "Oh, that's her, isn't it? Isn't that your car?" he asked, pointing towards the vehicle.

Glancing from his book, he hummed in agreement. "Bye-bye then," he called out, making his way towards the pick up area.

Genma cautiously followed after him trying to stay hidden, emerging as soon as Kakashi pulled the car door open to get inside.

Holding the door open with his elbow, he peered inside with a charming smile plastered on his face. "Oh, Sakura-chan, it's been so long since I've seen you. You look so lovely," he commented.

"Hello, um, Genma was it?" Sakura asked, glancing at Kakashi's annoyed face.

"The one and only," he replied.

Rolling his eyes, Kakashi tried to the close the door without much success. "Move your big head and go home," he sighed, yanking the car door repeatedly to smack it into Genma's side.

Ignoring Kakashi, he said, "I just wanted to personally invite you to a little get together we're having tomorrow. It's a welcome back party for Kakashi!" he said happily, patting Kakashi's shoulder in a friendly way.

Kakashi shot him a glare.

"Oh, really? That sounds fun. It'd be great to finally meet everyone," Sakura said with a bright smile.

"See you both there then!" Then in an instant, he disappeared, shutting the car door behind him.

"Jerk," Kakashi mumbled under his breath towards the window, watching Genma flee towards the teacher parking lot on the east side of campus. He figured he was up to something since he didn't go straight home like he usually did. Looking to Sakura, her smile faded a little as she shifted gears and started to drive forward. She was looking a little somber.

Before he had a chance if she was okay, she asked, "What time is this party? You never mentioned it before."

"Last minute kind of thing," he replied, hoping she really didn't want to go all that badly. "Honestly, I don't know if it's best if you go. I think they're scheming something stupid," he added.

"Why's that?"

"They're acting a little weird wanting you to come so badly," he murmured.

"Well, maybe they just want to meet me. I know they're older than I am, but if they're friends with you, they can't be that bad. Iruka-sensei's your friend, right? He's really nice."

"Eh…"

"Kakashi, you didn't want me at your birthday party either."

"That was different. It was a guys-only kind of thing and I don't want you around if there's probably going to be drinking."

"I won't drink anything," she promised.

"It's not you I'm worried about," he sighed. "Why do you want to go?"

She shrugged and warmly said, "It's just nice to be where ever you are."

He sighed. Clearly, she was trying to pull at his heartstrings. "Now that just makes me feel bad."

"Seriously though, it would just be nice to meet your friends. You're not ashamed or anything of us, are you?"

"Of course not, Sakura. That's not why I don't want you to come."

"Well, then I don't see any problem. So, then I can go?" she asked hopefully.

He hummed. "First, tell me what we need to talk about. It sounded kind of serious…"

Biting her bottom lip, she said, "Oh… well, what would you say if I was pregnant?"

"… _What?_ "

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm evil beyond words, I know. T_T
> 
> I kind of wanted to make Kakashi's Icha Icha fantasy left up to your imagination. I challenge you to use your smut thinking skills to tell me how chocolate made it up on the ceiling fan without hands. =p
> 
> Anyway, your thoughts/ramblings are appreciated! 
> 
> I always forget to say this, but ty for reading. *gives cookies*
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	37. Details, Details

**Chapter 37: Details, Details**

Biting her bottom lip, she said, "Oh… well, what would you say if I was pregnant?"

_"…What?"_

Kakashi was pretty sure his heart must have stopped. If he had been driving, he probably would have swerved off the road accidentally hitting every forest creature and tree in his path. Snapping his eyes to hers, she gave him a puzzled look at his reaction before glancing back to the road. Feeling his face drain, he had no doubt he probably looked like a ghost right about now. At least his mask was covering half of his shocked face.

There was an undeniable fear that shot straight down his spine and right to the very ends of his toes. What would her mother say? Did she know? Oh, dear God… she said she would castrate him if Sakura ever got pregnant. He squeezed his knees together. No doubt she meant it.

No, no, _no_.

This couldn't be happening. He had always made very sure they were careful. Birth control wasn't fool proof, but the chances of it failing if properly taken were very slim. Maybe she missed a pill? Or maybe they just received the unlucky side of fate?

There was no damn way they could both be ready for something like this. It was way too soon in their relationship to suddenly become parents. He might have been at the age to father a child, but Sakura had just started her life. How was she going to manage this with medical school? She would have to drop out, wouldn't she? That thought alone just made him feel worse.

"Kakashi?"

His mind barely registered the sound of his name. Everything around him was turning into a blur as his mind became jumbled with rushing thoughts. He had never really considered having children. He wasn't opposed to them, but he had no idea how to be a father.

"Kakashi," Sakura sighed. "Did you hear what I said?"

Suddenly it seemed like the car's interior was starting to spin around him. The windshield was slowly drifting further back somehow and the corners of the car were melting together. Sakura was dodging dead squirrels on the road again, swaying the car in such a way that he was getting really queasy.

Oh, God, was he going to vomit?

Quickly unbuckling his seat belt, he whipped around towards the backseat to find an empty plastic bag that was crumbled on the floor. He hastily opened the bag and pressed it quickly to his lips as he frantically pulled down his mask, breathing in and out slowly to steady his breathing. He was feeling so lightheaded.

"Are you okay, Kakashi?" she asked, not able to see what he was doing hunched over the back, but she could hear him breathing strangely.

"Y-yes," he lied.

Surely this wasn't the reaction she wanted to see which was why he was trying his best to hide from her concerned glances back at him, but never had he felt so blindsided by news that would change his life forever. She seemed so calm about it though. Why?

"Kakashi, I-"

Her voice cut in and out as he tried to process the gravity of everything. There was going to be little time left before her mother hunted him down. She was going to murder him in his sleep. Maybe it was best if they moved to Mexico? They could spend their days under an umbrella on a white sanded beach, sipping margaritas once the baby was born.

 _Baby.  
_  
Feeling his pulse flare again at that thought, he started to breathe harder into the bag, wishing he could just pass out right here and now. The car started to slow before coming to a complete stop.

Sakura had pulled the car along the side of the road and unbuckled from her seat. Turning to him, she placed a hand across his back and started to lightly pat and stroke along his spine in a comforting way.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Are you car sick? Wait, are you breathing into a bag?"

He slowly nodded in confirmation. "I'm sorry," he wheezed. "I just… this is kind of a surprise."

"What is?" she asked blankly.

Turning his head slightly, he gave her a wary look. "That you're pregnant… what else?"

Her green eyes went wide. "Kakashi! Is that why you look so freaked out? I just repeated to you five times that I wasn't. Weren't you listening?"

Long silence.

"…What?" he asked, not sure if he heard right.

She sighed. "I didn't say I was, Kakashi! I asked what you would do _if I was_. Key word, _if_."

His eyes slowly turned to hers. "What?" he repeated.

"You said it sounded serious, so I was just joking saying what you would say if I was pregnant. You were supposed to laugh."

"…"

"I told you, what we needed to talk about isn't bad. I said not to worry, remember? Didn't you read that in your text?"

"…"

She sighed, giving him a sympathetic look. "Do you really think I'd tell you something like that randomly in the car?"

"…Y-yes?" he muttered meekly.

She groaned, rolling her eyes. "Seriously?"

Lowering the bag from his lips, he hesitantly asked, "So… you're not?"

"I just told you I'm not!" she grumbled.

He let out a relieved sigh and rubbed his temples. "Fucking, Jesus."

"I didn't think you'd have a panic attack," she mumbled, sounding a bit hurt.

"Sakura, I misheard you. I only heard you saying that you were and I kind of got carried away..." He awkwardly laughed as she gave him a cold stare.

He kept smiling at her, hoping break her humorless expression. She grinned finally, squeezing his shoulder for a moment and then helping him back into his seat. "Well, I'd be freaked out, too, honestly, but I'd certainly tell you in a serious way. If it were to happen one day, I wouldn't be happy at first, but I'd be ready if I were."

"You would?" he asked with a raised brow.

"Well, you have to admit we have a lot of sex. Would it really be that surprising?"

He hummed, scratching his chin as he thought. "Define _a lot_."

She gave him a narrowed look.

"Okay, okay," he said with a sigh. "You're right. I enjoy sex with you too much. I'm a terrible person and I should die," he said dryly.

"Hey," she said with a pointed finger to his chest. "It's not like I'm complaining. I want to as much as you do," she said bashfully.

Snatching her finger in his hand, he brought it to his lips and gave it a light kiss. "Maybe we shouldn't so often?" he suggested, inwardly cringing at the idea.

She laughed, pulling her finger away to softly tap his nose. "You wouldn't last two days if you had the choice."

"I could, too. I have willpower," he pouted. "If I really tried…"

"Ha," she scoffed. "Seriously, though it wouldn't make much difference. I'm not saying it's not a chance, but we're in a committed relationship and that's why I'm just fine to let you have all of me in that sense. I trust you no matter what could happen. You trust me, too, right?"

He nodded and said, "Of course."

"I do my best in making sure not to take things that could cause a complication with my prescription, but you never know. I've had friends who've never had issues with theirs in years, but then I've heard others who've gotten pregnant while on the pill for various reasons. So, at the end of the day nothing is for sure. They say to still use a condom anyway for extra protection along with birth control. Why don't we start doing that again?"

"Would you care either way?" he asked.

"I feel safe enough with or without, so it doesn't matter to me. Whatever makes you feel better."

He pondered. "Hum…"

"Or we can just become abstinent from now on."

Kakashi laughed, shuffling a hand into her pink hair. "Good joke."

Combing her fingers through her hair to straighten out her bangs, she flashed him a knowing smile and adjusted her self back into the driver's seat. Shifting gears, she drove the car forward along back into the traffic.

"So, okay. Now that I'm sure I won't have a heart attack anymore, what did you want to talk about?" he asked.

"Oh, right," she sighed. "Well, as you know I talked with my mother again…"

"And you said it went fine, right?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, not at first. I don't think I've ever felt so angry before," she sighed. "I just kind of almost wanted to give up."

"You're okay though? What happened?"

She nodded. "I ended up staying and we finally talked about everything, and I mean _everything_. Stuff that's never been discussed about even when I was a kid, you know? How I've felt about the things she's done… my dad… stuff like that. The kind of things I wanted to say, but never had the strength to."

Kakashi hummed. "I see; did she take it well?"

"She feels really guilty, but we came to an understanding finally. I'm still upset with her for various reasons, but I'm willing to let things go if she is. We talked about what I expect of her and what she expects. So, I guess you can say we're on the same page for now. She's finally happy for us and actually means it."

"Well, that's great then. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that," he murmured. "I just want you to be happy, Sakura. I don't want to cause issues with your family any more than necessary."

She grinned softly for a moment. "What I needed to tell you though is that I ended up telling her a little bit about your life, so she'd understand a bit more. Not everything, but just enough. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all, I trust you," he smiled warmly, feeling relieved that was all she needed to tell him.

"I also told her about our trip to France."

His smile dropped. " _What?_ "

"Not all of it!" she blushed.

"Oh," he sighed. "Of course…"

"Just the places we went together like the Eiffel tower. She's jealous, but happy, and at least now she finally forgives me for unintentionally ignoring her that whole week."

He hummed in thought, glancing back out the window towards the rolling scenery. "Sounds promising. I'm glad you both talked."

She nodded with a hum. "Me too, though it was hard, but it was kind of a long time coming. She's kind of a hard person to get to sometimes, but I know she cares."

"What would she do if you were pregnant?" he asked cryptically.

She didn't think for very long before saying, "Kill you and dump your body in a river, probably."

"See, I figured," he sighed. "That's why I was scared."

"Well, don't worry. If that time comes, I'm sure we'll be ready."

He shook his head unsurely. "I don't think anyone can ever be truly ready for something like that, but I suppose we'd manage somehow."

"We'll always manage, no matter what it is," she smiled.

 

* * *

 

"I'm telling you, this isn't a good idea," Kakashi sighed and hovered the car keys in front of her. "You should go home."

"Nope, I was specifically invited by your friend," she said stubbornly, shooing his hand away for him to re-pocket his keys. Standing up on her tippy toes, she licked her thumb and groomed a few messy strands of his silver hair back in place that was scattered by the wind.

"Friend," he mumbled under his breath. "Just promise me if anyone is making you uncomfortable or being rude to you in any way, you'll come to me, okay?"

"Yes, _Dad_ ," she groaned with rolled eyes.

He glared in return, although he had to admit he felt like one. He couldn't help but be concerned if anyone made her feel upset in any way. Sighing, he added, "Don't take any open drinks from anyone. Don't drink any alcohol period."

She sighed, straightening the necklace he had given her around her neck until he gently pushed her hands away for him to do it.

"Do you really think they're trying to drug me and get me wasted?" she asked impatiently.

"Yes," he replied dryly.

"You're being silly."

"Probably," he mumbled, outlining a finger down the delicate chain of the necklace. "It makes me happy to see you wear this," he added softly.

Fighting back a blush, she smiled and intertwined her fingers into his against her chest. "I love it almost as much as I love you."

He smiled, pulling her close to graze a kiss on her lips with his. "Now you're just trying to get on my good side," he whispered with a laugh.

"Well, fine. Then I love this necklace more than I love you," she teased.

"Ugh," he sighed, acting heartbroken at her words as he pulled away.

Giving him a playful look, she took his hand in hers, pulling him along down the walkway towards the house. It was a two story wooden cabin, which the outside was filled with quite a few parked cars outside along the street. Kakashi had taken his sweet time in getting ready, so they were considerably late.

Standing at the door, Sakura tilted her head slightly to motion for him to knock. This was his friend's house after all. She watched him bring a small fist up, and knocked so lightly against the door that it barely made a sound.

She gave him a questionable look as he simply shrugged at her after a few silent seconds. "Guess no one's home," he shrugged.

Rolling her eyes, she playfully smacked his arm. "You can clearly hear music and people inside, Kakashi. Would you just knock!" she griped.

He sighed. "Fine, fine."

This time he made a firmer knock. Still seeing the doubtful look in his eye that this was a good idea for her to come, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Would you stop worrying? They're your friends."

"Exactly," he mumbled unenthusiastically.

Once the door opened, Kakashi quickly changed his expression for a happy eye crinkle of a smile. "Yo," he said, holding up his hand as a casual hello.

"I knew we should have told you it was an hour earlier," Tenzo sighed.

"I would have figured it out anyway if you did. Then I would have come even later," he replied, folding his arms in defiance.

"Childish." Tenzo sighed, shaking his head in disapproval. Looking to Sakura, he smiled and said, "So, this is Sakura I take it. Glad you could make it."

She nodded, feeling a little shy at first. Before they came, she was debating to herself on how she should try and act around his friends. She should be herself of course, but perhaps try and act as mature as possible. The last impression she would ever want to give was appearing like a child. With a new a confidence in mind, she brightly smiled and gave a small bow. "It's nice to meet you."

"I'm Tenzo," he greeted, returning a small polite bow. "I teach at the high school. I'm guessing we've never had the chance to meet in one of my classes before."

"Oh, what do you teach?" she asked.

"Woodshop."

She thought for a moment, searching her memory of his name. "Ah, I think my friend took a woodshop class, but I think it was with Yamato-sensei?"

"I'm also known by that, too. I've picked up some strange nicknames through the years," he laughed "Who was your friend?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

Tenzo's face went blank, looking slightly scary from the overhead light above the doorway. "You know _Naruto_?"

"Uh," she flinched, wanting to hide behind Kakashi from the strange look he was giving her. Slowly, she affirmed, "Yes…"

"He was in my freshman class," he sighed, looking a bit dejected.

Kakashi patted his shoulder. "There, there. He was in my class, too, remember? Did you ever have an eraser fall on your face? I think not."

"But nearly every teacher did in junior high. He should have never been allowed to take my class," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "Never have I seen someone try to stick their foot inside of a wood chipper, trying to get it to unjam while it was still turned on."

Sakura's eyes went wide. "Oh, my God. He did that?"

"He was lucky that I saw him in time. He broke a lot of the tools, which I still have no idea how someone manages to bend steel. My… precious tools," he whimpered.

Sakura stood still, unsure what to say to a man who looked like he might start to cry over the loss of carpenter tools. Glancing at Kakashi to say something, he conveniently looked away, as if he had just noticed the stars above them for the first time in his life.

Laughing awkwardly to fill the silence, she never realized before how much her mischievous friend must have made quite an impression on their former teachers. "I… um, well…"

"Shall we go inside?" Kakashi suddenly suggested, giving a light squeeze on Sakura's shoulder.

"Oh, right, this way," Tenzo said, opening the door wider to usher them both inside.

Sakura poked Kakashi silently in the ribs as they walked in for not saying something sooner, but he simply smiled at her in amusement, earning him a glare as well.

Once inside, they slipped their shoes off. Sakura followed behind Kakashi as he lightly tugged her along by her fingers. Walking down the hall, she glanced around their surroundings. Her first impression of the cabin overall was that it had a nice rustic feel. Most of the decorations were finely crafted wooden figures that were scattered throughout. She had no doubt Kakashi's friend must have made most of these. She paused briefly at the sight of an adorable dragon figurine that was placed on a shelf.

"Awe, this is cute," she beamed, picking it up carefully for a closer look.

Kakashi stopped in his tracks to glance at what she was admiring. Tsking, he whispered, "Now you've done it."

"Done what?" she asked, rather confused.

Tenzo cleared his throat. "Oh, so you like it? It's part of an original series I made," he beamed proudly.

"Oh, really?" she asked, admiring it appreciatively. "It's really well done."

"Woodcarving has been a hobby of mine since I was little actually. I've made just about everything here, including the cabin."

"Oh, wow, that's amazing," she gushed.

"Don't fuel his ego," Kakashi teased aloud, ignoring the scowl from his friend.

Looking around the cabin, she said, "But that's amazing."

"Finally, someone who appreciates my art. She already has my approval," Tenzo said, elbowing Kakashi lightly in the arm. "Anyway, I first built this house almost ten years ago."

Kakashi sighed, "Here it goes."

Sakura raised a brow as Tenzo cleared his throat, waving to shush Kakashi, "I had a lot of patience since the beginning. Blood, sweat and tears went into every piece of this place," he said, patting one of the logs that made up the wall of the house perhaps a little too affectionately.

Sakura nodded uneasily, glancing at Kakashi as he shook his head.

Tenzo continued, "Making the drafting plans of the house was the easy part. It all has to start with preparations, you see. You need to know log diameters, length, width, how old each timber is and the kind of species the tree is. Constructing for a log house is completely different than a frame for your everyday kind of home. You have to think ahead for shrinkage of the wood that will happen over time. An eight foot wall could shrink anywhere from four to six inches and-"

"Shouldn't we greet everyone first before you start your cabin story?" Kakashi interrupted.

Tenzo stared blankly before he registered they were still standing in the hall. "Oh, you're right. I got carried away," he laughed heartily, awkwardly scratching a hand into his chestnut-colored hair. "I'll tell the rest later for you, Sakura-san."

"Oh, sounds lovely," she politely smiled, inwardly horrified at the idea of listening to more mind numbing details about cabin building. At least she admired how passionate he was about it. Being pulled along by Kakashi once more, they followed Tenzo as he led them towards the main room of the house.

When they entered inside, everyone hushed their conversations, making Sakura's cheeks suddenly burn as she felt every pair of eyes fall to her in the room. Suddenly, she felt very much like a gigantic pink elephant. What did his friends think about their relationship, anyway? It didn't dawn on her until now that they were probably just as skeptical as her mother was to some degree. Perhaps coming to this thing wasn't going to be as easy as she had originally thought. She was hoping to just have some fun and not be uncomfortable the whole time. She inwardly sighed.

Nervously pressing her fingers into Kakashi's palm, she felt him pull her a little closer beside him. Trying not to freak out, she glanced at the curious faces of the room. She didn't want to appear flustered, but she couldn't help herself from feeling a bit overwhelmed under everyone's blatant stare.

But the silence didn't last for very long before nearly everyone in the room said an enthusiastic, "Kakashi!" with a few echoing mutters of "You're late."

Kakashi chuckled sheepishly, giving an excuse they had to dodge an army of squirrels on the road and made a brief wave. Wandering between people, he smoothly made more personal greetings. She was glad to find other people seemed to have brought a date… well, by the looks of it, most likely wives. No one was anywhere near her age of course, so she still felt really awkward, but everyone was acting like it didn't matter so far. She was quite thankful for that for now at least.

He politely introduced her to those she'd never met before as they made their way around the room. There were quite a few she recognized as past teachers, but she managed not to feel too strange about it as she greeted them. After all, they were just people. It didn't matter how she may have known them previously. It was never on a personal level and was ages ago.

Suddenly, a teary-eyed fellow in a green jumpsuit appeared before her. He seemed very familiar to her, perhaps reminding her way too much of a certain guy she used to know from her graduating class. Shaking her hand, he sobbed, "It's so good to finally meet you."

"Hello…" she said uneasily, wondering if all of Kakashi's friends were this emotional. She smiled, trying to pull her hand away from his before one of his tears began to fall on her skin.

"Your eyes are so expressive, like a thousand suns burning into oblivion."

"…"

Panicking as he still was awkwardly shaking her hand, Kakashi was talking with a few people behind her, his back turned to hers. "Kakashi," she whispered, failing to gain his attention.

Turning back around, the crying man continued to just repeatedly shake her hand, seeming too overwhelmed by tears to say anything else.

She faintly asked, "W-who are you again?"

His only response was to sob more, muttering, "B-beautiful."

Feeling her face pale, she managed to finally pull her hand away from his sweaty grip as she stuttered, "I-I should go, nice meeting you."

Simply turning around, she clutched Kakashi's arm, afraid to look back. Flashing a smile at who he was talking to, she made the mistake of turning over her shoulder a few seconds later.

"Beautiful," the sobbing man reiterated, staring intensely back at her with furrowed bushy brows.

"Oh, God," she sighed. Whirling back around, she tugged at Kakashi's sleeve to whisper in his ear. "Who the hell is that behind us?" she asked.

He sneaked a peek behind them and said, "Oh, that's just Guy. Let's say hello to him before he starts crying a river."

"Oh, no let's not," she tried to protest as he turned her around by the shoulders.

Face to face again with the sobbing man once more, she quietly said, "Hello again…"

"Guy, turn down the water works," Kakashi sighed. "You're a grown man."

"S-Sorry, I'm just so overwhelmed with happiness for you both. I can just imagine your children…"

Sakura looked away uncomfortably.

"And your children's children," he continued.

"…"

"And your children's children's children."

Patting his teary-eyed friend on the back, he pointed him in the in the direction of the open bar. "You should drink something to calm yourself down, but not _too_ much, okay?"

"O-okay," Guy nodded.

"Adieu," Kakashi waved, pushing him forward.

"You and your hip words," Guy sniffled before parting ways.

"It's just French," he mumbled, turning back towards Sakura.

Sakura watched Guy wander away through people until he disappeared. "He's… a little intense," she whispered.

"Once you get to know him, he's really nice," Kakashi replied.

Taking Sakura's hand, he led them towards a large table filled with several people playing cards. She recognized a few teachers she knew from both schools she attended, like Iruka-sensei, but still tried to keep in mind to not feel too weird about it. Then she saw Tsunade, who was the current principal of the high school.

Before she was appointed as the head principle, she was her Science teacher for her second year in middle school. With her quick learning skills and fascination with science and biology, Tsunade helped push her along in the idea of wanting to go to school to be a doctor. At the time, it was just a silly fantasy of hers that most children absentmindedly said they wanted to do. She knew she wanted to do something helpful, maybe a nurse at the very least or a veterinarian, but never actually pursued an actual doctor title. She helped her find joy in what was sometimes mostly mundane work to keep pushing her knowledge more towards more advanced science related classes. If it wasn't for her, she would have most likely spent most of her time following Sasuke around instead of taking more difficult courses.

It was rare they had a good talk together before Tsunade was moved up to principal, but despite the time that had passed since middle school, she always felt like Tsunade was more or less like a friend as well as a mentor. She always seemed to generally care about how she was doing in and outside of school. On graduation day, she had even taken the time after managing the ceremony in wishing her the best of luck and success for her future. Since that day, they hadn't spoken until now.

"Sakura," Tsunade acknowledged warmly, stalling the shuffle of cards in her hands to pat an empty seat next to her as she and Kakashi approached.

"There's the late bastard," Genma sighed loudly across the table. "And hello, lovely Sakura-chan," he added sweetly.

"Hello," Sakura said cheerfully, waving to everyone who was seated around the table. Taking the seat next to Tsunade, Kakashi took the chair on her left.

Pressing a smile to her painted lips, Tsunade started passing out cards to everyone. "How's your first year of college been?" she asked.

"A breeze," she replied.

She chuckled. "It's all customary prereqs for now. Just wait until your medical admission test. Then the real fun begins."

"I'll be ready," Sakura said confidently, although she really wasn't sure how well she would do. It wasn't an easy test, but she still had well over a year before she was planning to take it.

Scooting a little closer out of anyone's earshot, Sakura whispered, "By the way, it's good to see you, Tsunade-sama. I didn't realize you were friends with Kakashi, too."

"Just Tsunade is fine," the blonde said smiled. "I've known Kakashi for quite a few years now. I was really hoping you'd come once I heard you were the mystery woman," she added.

"Mystery woman?" she asked aloud with a raised brow.

"They have nothing better to do here than gossip about my life," Kakashi sighed, giving them all a stern glare as he picked up his cards.

"We don't gossip," Genma tsked. " _We care_ ," he added thoughtfully.

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

"Sakura, ever played poker?" Tsunade asked as she finished passing out the last set of cards.

"Nope," she replied, hoping no one asked her what card games she did know. Go Fish or Old Maid wasn't exactly high level card playing.

"I'll tell you the basics as we play a few rounds, then you should give it a shot if you're up to it."

"Sounds good, I'd really like to watch first, anyway," she shrugged, feeling grateful that Tsunade was here.

As everyone played, she was slowly feeling pretty comfortable with talking and asking a few questions about the game. She could see why Kakashi was so teasing compared to the rest of his friends, who did nothing but joke between one another mercilessly in a friendly way. She didn't know what to expect and still felt a little guarded in how she acted with Kakashi, but everyone was being pretty nice to her so far. They were his friends of course, so why wouldn't they be? She wasn't sure why he was so worried for her to come in the first place.

Leaning her head against Kakashi's shoulder in her seat, she studied Kakashi's cards as she was getting the hang of how to play. She was looking over Tsunade's cards for awhile, but she had yet to win a single round since they started. It wasn't until later she learned Tsunade was apparently notorious for being terrible at most card games, but loved to play anyway.

"Mmm," Sakura hummed aloud, purposely sounding negative. "Not good," she muttered.

"Shh," Kakashi said softly, trying his best to hold back a grin.

"Oh, sorry," she hushed, covering her mouth with a hand.

"Sounds like I should raise my bet," Genma said with a cocky grin, slyly sliding a couple of more chips into the betting pile.

"I'll call it," Kakashi said flatly.

After everyone else folded, Genma slapped down his cards and huffed, "Ha, eat that!"

His expression changed once Kakashi neatly placed down his cards. "Oh, looks like I won."

"God damn it," he cursed.

"It was obvious from the start, idiot," Asuma chided, tapping his cigarette in tray with a sigh.

Genma mumbled something inaudible in retort as everyone laughed.

Sakura chuckled, feeling Kakashi's hand discreetly squeeze hers under the table, making her smile grow as she leaned comfortably against his arm. They stayed that way for a little while before it was decided to start moving people outside towards the back porch. For dinner, they planned to have an open barbeque which Tenzo and a few others volunteered to help cook.

Getting up from her seat, she started to follow Kakashi outside before she realized something felt strange. Quickly feeling a hand around her neck, she nearly gasped aloud that somehow her necklace had fallen off.

Frantically checking inside her shirt and the chair she was sitting in, she began to panic the longer she didn't find anything. Dropping to the floor, she tried to casually search while trying not to burst into tears as everyone was leaving around her, she couldn't help but become instantly upset at the fact she might have just lost his mother's necklace. There was a reason why she hardly ever took it off in the first place. It meant to world to him and probably even more to her.

She shot up from the floor when Kakashi turned back around seeing that she wasn't behind him any longer.

"Something wrong?" he asked, giving her a strange look.

"Uh," she said, quickly turning to compose herself. Massaging her neck with a hand so that her chest was covered, she turned back, but kept looking around like she was lost and asked, "Bathroom?"

"Oh, it's down that hall to the left," he pointed.

"Right then," she smiled, careful not to look at him.

"You sure you're fine…?" he asked again, about to approach her closer.

"Yep!" she exclaimed, darting off towards the direction he implied to earlier. "I'll come outside in a bit, okay?" she called back.

Preceding down the hall knowing he was still watching her, she closed the door behind her once she was inside the bathroom. Checking thoroughly inside her shirt again, pockets and even her purse, she sighed aloud, feeling the tears starting to come back.

If she didn't find it somewhere in the living room, she had no idea what she was going to do. After a minute, she opened the door to look down the hall into the living room. All seemed quiet as she carefully stepped outside the bathroom, hoping Kakashi had gone along with everyone else outside.

Seeing that the living room was empty, she immediately tossed her purse on the table and began scouring along the floor again on her hands and knees. She searched everywhere. Under the table, under the couch, rug, cushions, even under the lamps.

Nothing.

Staring to cry again, she felt like such an idiot. How could she lose something so important? What in the world could she say to Kakashi? How could she tell him that she had utterly lost one of the few reminders of his mother?

Hearing the door open, she tried to stop her tears, but couldn't. She felt so damn terrible.

"Sakura?"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is _finally_ up to date with all currently published chapters featured on FF.net. 
> 
> What does that mean?
> 
> From now on, new chapters will be posted simultaneously here and on FF.net. Generally it takes anywhere from two weeks, to five weeks to create new chapters. I've been working on this story for over a year now, so it takes time. Given what I've written so far in a year, I'm happy with the current progress.
> 
> I appreciate your patience and I most of all appreicate you reading. Comments and kudos are most appreciated to let know someone is out there and hopefully enjoying it in some way. 
> 
> I write this for fun and for the love of KakaSaku. :)
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	38. Last Known Surroundings

**Chapter 38: Last Known Surroundings**

After Sakura disappeared into the bathroom, Kakashi hesitated for a moment on deciding whether or not he should join the others outside just yet. With his hand on the doorknob, he glanced back down the hallway where she had vanished. It was only for a split second, but before she had quickly conjured a smile to her lips and bolted off without another word, he caught a certain look in her eyes. She seemed upset. Part of him hoped he was wrong, but deep down he knew better. After the months they had been together now, it wasn't difficult to see when she tried to hide things that were bothering her and stick on a brave face.

The question was why wouldn't she tell him? It made him a little disappointed at the idea that she didn't trust him enough. How many times did he have to tell her that she could always come to him no matter what? She could tell him anything. She had to have known that. Maybe she was afraid to, but why? She didn't have to hide from him, no matter what it was. Of course, he wasn't one to talk when it came to sharing his feelings. Sakura was the only reason why he finally opened up about his past in the first place. He was certainly thankful for having her become an outlet that he didn't realize he even needed. Nothing was more freeing than finally sharing something about himself that he had kept locked away in the depths of his heart for so long, especially to someone who he really loved and cared for in the first time of his life.

There were still so many things that she didn't know about his past growing up. Some things were just better left unsaid. She knew enough. It's not that he didn't want to tell her every last detail, but he didn't want to burden her with any more than what he had already. Would he really feel better if he did? He wasn't sure. It was painful enough just reliving the memories as it was. Anyone could understand why he wouldn't want to talk about his childhood. It was hard seeing her cry over what he shared about his uncle and the death of his parents.

She cared so much, almost too much.

He liked the idea of starting fresh in his life. Just forget everything that once was and look forward to the promising future. With her, it seemed so easy to just live life to the fullest. Frankly, he felt almost like he was spoiled by how happy she made him. Never had he ever felt so grateful to have someone like that in his life.

Everything used to feel so numb before Sakura. He was living day by day searching for constant distractions in his life just to keep going. He never thought he could have a long term relationship with someone. He never found the reason to. Compared to meaningless one night stands and week-long relationships in his past, this was something he'd never experienced before: Love.

He couldn't help but be concerned if anything was making her upset. No matter how trivial, he wanted to fix it. She made him happy, and he only wanted the same for her. If she was sad, he was sad. He had spent far too much time in his life pretending to be fine. He was so used to deluding himself that it was okay, so much so it was like second nature to him to act that way. All it took was a pink-haired girl with a heart as big as the Earth itself to make him understand what it meant to have someone be there for you in every way.

The question that kept repeating in his mind was why she wouldn't tell him. He wouldn't normally be this concerned about it, except that it happened so suddenly. Did it have something to do with his friends? But that couldn't be it. She was just fine until only a moment ago. The only reason why she wouldn't tell him something was if he might be upset in return, but why would he be…

_Oh._

As if lighting had just struck him, he smacked his forehead at how oblivious he was. It suddenly became very clear to him on what must have happened. Why didn't he realize it sooner? The way she was nervously rubbing her neck in a strange way… She was just trying to hide herself. Thinking of it now, his memory barely recalled seeing a glimpse of her bare neck before she quickly left to the bathroom. At the time it just didn't register to him. The necklace he had given her must have fallen off somewhere and she must be freaking out about it. From his earlier comment before they entered the house, he felt slightly bad understanding how distressed she must be right now because of it.

He sighed with a mix of a relief and a slight ache in his chest. Yes, the necklace had a great sentimental value to him. He couldn't deny that. It was the only possession he had left of his mother's. Besides the photograph he managed to save, everything else was destroyed by his bastard uncle. He felt a strange sense of loss at the idea that the necklace might be gone, but he tried to remind himself that it was just an object. Objects can always be lost or broken. It didn't last forever. What mattered most was the memory of the person of who it belonged to in the first place. That was something you could keep with you forever.

The necklace was important to him for a lot of reasons, but he could never be mad at her for losing something like that by accident. Besides, all this time it had been locked away in his chest and never used. That's why he wanted to give it to her in the first place. It was meant to be worn. What was the point of keeping it if it was never used? He had no doubt that his mother would have wanted her to have it, too.

If it was really lost for good, it was okay. It made him happy to see her wear it, but again, it was just a thing. It was the thought that counted in gifts anyway, wasn't it? The intention of her having it was enough. There was no need for her to stress over it.

Retracting his fingers from the doorknob, he decided to wait for her to come out to ask her about his suspicions. He also just wanted to tell her most of all that it was okay. It had to still be around the house somewhere anyway. He figured they would find it eventually. He didn't want the rest of the night to be ruined by her over worrying.

Before he had a chance to turn around, the back door creaked opened in front of him, startling him before he stepped aside as the door pushed forward.

"Oh, Kakashi," Tenzo said with an apologetic smile, carefully glancing inside before opening the door further. "I was just going to grab some more ice for everyone from the kitchen real quick."

Glancing at the bucket in his grip, Kakashi extended a hand and offered, "Ah, why don't you let me get that for you instead?"

Tenzo hummed for a moment in consideration, but reached up about to push him aside. "Nah, it's okay. You should go outside and relax. This party is supposed to be for you, remember? Besides, they're waiting for you."

Kakashi hoped that wasn't the case. He still needed to talk with Sakura. Briefly, he stole a glance towards the hall hoping she would appear soon. "Well, um, first I-"

Genma suddenly appeared in the doorway with a red plastic cup full of beer in hand. Nearly sloshing it on the floor, he abruptly halted when his gaze met Kakashi's.

"Ah, there you are," he cut in, slipping past Tenzo to grab Kakashi's arm. "Hurry, we're making a toast and everyone's starving."

Kakashi sighed, half-heartily trying to pull away from his grip. "Just start without me."

"We can't start without a big toast for the guest of honor," Genma stated matter-of-factly, hiding a mischievous grin. Glancing around the room, he asked, "Where's Blossom?"

"Bathroom," he replied with narrowed eyes. "But-"

"Man, let her at least go to the bathroom by herself," Genma said with an unamused sigh. "You're worse off than I originally thought," he mumbled, casting a silent glance to Tenzo, who simply smiled in return.

Before Kakashi had a chance to ask what he meant, Genma wrangled an arm around his shoulders and yanked him outside. The sweet, charcoal-enveloped scent of barbeque entered his senses. Despite not being too hungry, catching a glimpse towards the hissing sounds of meat being tenderly cooked at the pit, he couldn't stop his mouth from slightly watering at the sight.

Hoping to at least get the obligatory toast over with as quickly as possible, it ended up being longer than he would have liked, nearly turning into an all out roast thanks to Genma. Once he started to crack jokes, of course all of his friends had to join the comedy hour. After giving his talkative friend a quick elbow in the ribs, he cut the toast short, finally letting him be free of formalities to go find Sakura.

His eyes scanned through the crowd, wondering if she might have finally come outside during the opening words from everyone. Casually making his way through various people, he tried his best not to stall for too long in any conversations while still trying to be polite.

He ran into Tenzo again, who was joined by Iruka as well. He was helping him unload a few bottled drinks into some ice chests.

"Hey," Iruka smiled in acknowledgment to Kakashi as he approached.

"Yo," he replied, making a happy eye-crinkle of a smile. "Have either of you seen Sakura around yet?" he added.

Iruka shook his head. "I haven't since we were inside."

Tenzo hummed. "I didn't see her after I left the kitchen, but I wasn't there for very long. Maybe she's still inside?" Tenzo asked, portioning out scoops of ice into a couple of the ice chests.

"Is something wrong?" Iruka asked, seeing worry cross over Kakashi's face.

"Nothing serious," Kakashi assured, playing off his friend's concern as he shrugged. "Just need to talk."

He hummed skeptically, deciding not to press the subject for now. "Ah, I see. Well, um… by the way, I've wanted to say that I'm really glad for you guys. You both seem very happy. Again, I'm really sorry what I said before, you know, in the beginning…"

"Water under the bridge," Kakashi dismissed. "You were just being a good friend."

Iruka smiled.

"You're both making me feel sentimental," Tenzo teased. Changing the subject, he asked with an amused grin, "You realize what everyone's betting about tonight, right?"

Kakashi stared blankly for a moment, nearly forgetting that they were up to something. "Oh, yeah. Care to enlighten me?"

His smile grew wider. "Nope."

He sighed. "Are you in on this, too, Iruka?" he asked with a raised brow.

"I don't play in their crazy schemes," he chuckled.

Tenzo simply grinned, closing the ice chests one by one as they finished filling them. "Anyway, I'll save you and Sakura a seat over at that table with us, okay?" he said as he pointed out the direction.

"Thanks," he replied appreciatively. "Catch you both later."

Making his way towards the house again, he was starting to really feel uneasy by how long Sakura had been gone. Was she searching the whole house by herself? How upset was she? He sighed.

Catching a glimpse of her through the window of the door before he was about to enter inside, he paused at turning the knob. She was kneeled on the floor searching frantically, clearly crying in frustration which made his heart clench at the sight. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid. Frowning beneath his mask, he slowly opened the door, making the hinges squeak as he stepped inside.

"Sakura," he said in a solemn tone, closing the door softly behind him as the room fell silent again from the chatter outside.

Shocked to hear his voice, she looked panicked as she hastily tried to wipe her tears. "K-Kakashi, I… I just…"

"Sakura, it's okay," he murmured. Walking to her, he kneeled down in front of her. She remained hunched over on the floor, trying to avoid his gaze. "Please don't cry."

"You're going to hate me…" she replied softly.

"That's impossible," he said warmly, bringing a hand to her forehead to push back her pink staggered bangs.

"Y-you don't understand," she sputtered, glancing up at him guilty. "I lost…"

"The necklace, right?" he asked evenly.

Her green eyes went wide. "How did you…?"

"I realized it after you went to the bathroom," he confirmed.

"Do you hate me then?" she muttered weakly.

"Sakura," he sighed, pulling her into a hug. "Of course I don't hate you. Why would you think that? Seriously, you don't need to be this upset. I'm sure it's still somewhere around the house."

"I've searched this whole room," she said with a defeated sigh.

"But you had it before we came in, right?"

She slowly nodded. "Well, yes…"

"Then it's somewhere close by. We'll probably find it. If not, it's no big deal, okay?"

"It is a big deal, Kakashi!" she said firmly, pulling back from his arms to look at him. "It was your mother's. I feel so awful… Don't you care? Why aren't you angry? I-"

"I'm not angry," he hushed. "I just wish you would have told me the moment you realized it though. I hate seeing you this upset over something so small."

"Of course I'm upset!" she croaked, fighting back the burn of more tears that were threatening to release. "It's important."

"I just told you, _its okay_ ," he sighed, not quite understanding why she was still so upset. He wasn't angry with her. He thought he had made that clear. Slowly, he released his hands from her small shoulders. She began to bite her lip, looking utterly devastated.

" _You_ gave it to me," she whispered, raising a hand to touch her chest. She felt emptier at finding nothing there as her fingers caressed against her bare skin.

"If we don't find it, I'll get you another one just like it," he offered.

She slowly shook her head. "It wouldn't have the same meaning."

His eyes softened, realizing how important it really was to her. Again, he was reminded just how much she cared. Sitting up on his knees, he fell silent for a moment.

Running his fingers into his hair as he pondered what to do, he offered her his hands to stand up along with him. "Let's check the living room together, okay? Then we'll go check around the hallway. It must be somewhere."

Seeing a hopeful look light up on her face, she nodded and took his hands into hers. "Okay."

After searching every square inch of the living room and bathroom, they left to check along the hallway towards the entrance. The hall was a quick search since it hardly had any furniture. Reaching the genkan, they combed over every shoe that was out and even went so far as to look inside each one.

Running a single finger along the rug's edge as Kakashi crouched down, he shook his head. He was afraid to tell her that it wasn't here either, but she already knew it as she let out a depressed sigh, tossing a shoe back down on the floor in defeat.

Standing up, she leaned against the wall as she looked down towards the floor. "I don't understand what happened to it."

"I'm not sure either. I'm sorry," he replied grimly.

"You're not the one who needs to be sorry," she sadly muttered.

"It's not your fault."

She shrugged, helping him rise up from the floor. "I can't help but feel like it is…"

"It's not and never will be."

Still looking crestfallen, she remained quiet.

Kakashi wanted to cheer her up, but wasn't sure how to at this point. Before they left tonight, he'd be sure and let Tenzo know to keep an eye out for it tomorrow. He liked to keep his house tidy and would probably be cleaning first thing in the morning. Maybe by luck he'll run across it.

"Let's just take a break and get something to eat," he suggested. "I'm sure they all are wondering where we are right now. Since no one's come to find us yet, they probably are thinking the worst," he sighed.

"The worst?" she asked with a raise brow.

"That we're fooling around."

"Fooling around? Oh…" She blushed at first, but then crossed her arms as she narrowed her eyes at him. "No, they wouldn't… would they?"

He smirked, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Let's go."

"But… wait, are they really going to think that?" she asked worriedly, following behind him as he began to walk down the hall.

He turned to the side and asked huskily, "Why? Do you want to make it true?"

" _No!_ Not in the middle of a party!" Poking him in the back, she added, "Pervert."

"It'll take your mind off things," he teased.

She promptly responded with a glare. "There's no way I'm doing it with fifty people around."

"But it would be fun and everyone's outside," he egged on.

"And someone could come find us!"

"That's the fun part, silly."

"…"

"Look," he laughed. "If it's been this long already, it's unlikely. They already think we are, anyway," he mused.

"What would they…" her voice faded into an inaudible grumble, storming past him into the living room with reddening cheeks.

He chuckled as she turned to pout at him at the door. At least she wasn't as visibly sad anymore. Making her angry with embarrassment seemed to help.

Opening the door, he moved aside and said, "Ladies first."

"No, you go…" she murmured, feeling uneasy at the possibility of having all eyes on her first thing again. Especially if they all really thought they've been _doing things_ this whole time.

Pushing him forward from his side, he chuckled again and grabbed her hand. Once they were outside, not too many people gave them much notice except for a few who were waving at them to join. Everyone else was busy eating and chattering the night away.

Picking up a couple of paper plates and some disposable chopsticks, he handed a set to her. "Help yourself to whatever you like."

Nodding, she joined the small line as Kakashi followed. Picking out a few samples from the open spread, she hoped eating something would help her feel a little better. It looked like people were already starting to have a second serving, but there was still plenty left to go around.

Deciding on grabbing what looked like a cup of red punch, she waited for Kakashi as he finished picking out his share. The missing necklace was still very much in the forefront of her mind as she watched him. Her neck felt so naked without it usually being there, making her feel even worse. Why did this have to happen? She inwardly sighed.

Making a smile as he approached, she tried her best not to look how she felt inside. She kept thinking over and over where she had been earlier. It just didn't make sense why they hadn't found any sign of it after searching practically the entire house. She was glad that Kakashi wasn't mad, but figured he was just being nice about it. It was his mother's… essentially a family heirloom. How could it ever be okay?

With another sigh, she tried to clear her mind for now, but it was just so hard not to think about it. After they were seated at a table with some familiar faces, she pretended not to notice a wink towards Kakashi from Genma. Was Kakashi really not joking when he said people would think they were doing _things_? She blushed. Ugh.

Taking a sip from her drink, she nearly choked from the taste, but tried to cover it with a small cough.

Kakashi was quick to notice, pulling her cup below his nose to smell it. Sighing, he let her sit it back down on the table. "I forgot to tell you to stay away from the punch, too."

"It's fine," she shrugged.

"I can take the rest of that, okay?" he asked softly so that no one else would hear.

She sighed, feeling a bit like a child. He said from the start he didn't want her to have any alcohol and she agreed, but a little wasn't going to hurt anyone. They had wine in France and that wasn't a big deal, so why now? She wasn't technically old enough in Japan, but a lot of people were usually very lax about it and figured his friends would be as well.

He seemed to have a read her mind in her pause. "Well… let's just share it. It's kind of strong, so be sure and grab a bottle of water from the ice chest later," he added.

Nodding, she smiled at his understanding. Saying nothing more about it, she continued to carefully drink small sips throughout their meal. The warm taste did make her feel a little better, making her more at ease as she took part in conversations around them when she could. A lot of questions came her way about how they met and what it was like living with Kakashi (a few jokingly asking if he was a robot and where he hid his porn), but Sakura didn't mind answering them. Everyone seemed genuinely interested and really supportive of their relationship so far, which was a small relief for her.

The more the night went on, the more drunk people were getting which was especially amusing when they began to play charades. Tsunade was down right hilarious trying to communicate the word 'cookie monster'. She finally gave up and cursed them all as she went to find more sake, muttering to fire them all next week.

Taking a break from the game, she and Kakashi decided to sit by the bonfire together that was made a few hours ago.

"This is why I didn't want you to come," Kakashi sighed, poking a burning piece of wood inside the fire with a stick.

"Embarrassed of your friends?" she teased, leaning against him as they watched at a distance.

"More like horrified," he replied.

They watched as Guy was spinning around in the middle of the backyard, flailing a flashlight around claiming he was a lighthouse.

"You're not supposed to say the word," someone sighed.

Kotetsu and Izumo were running around the lawn in the distance for some reason, looking completely inebriated. It was such a spectacle seeing grown men act like they were four.

"Are you like that when you're drunk?" she asked. "Or do you just send horrible texts?"

"Hey, hey. Those were from Genma," he defended.

"Swayed balls?" she giggled.

"That was my phone's fault…" he mumbled.

"Right," she grinned. "But really, you could have drunk more than just half a cup of that punch tonight. It doesn't bother me if you drink."

"We still have to drive home tonight, so I didn't really want to take a chance. Besides, I really don't like myself when I'm completely drunk."

She hummed in thought, wondering what he must be like. "I bet you're like Guy," she speculated.

He laughed and replied with a vague, "Maybe."

"I'd love to see that," she chuckled. "I'll take pictures of you with my cell for blackmail."

Standing up from the plush grass, she dusted her knees and grabbed her purse from the ground. Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, she said, "I'll be right back."

"Alright," he replied, figuring she was actually going to the bathroom this time as she went towards the cabin.

Leaning back onto the grass, he propped his hands behind his head as he stared into the glittering sky. The night turned out mostly fun and he was happy that Sakura was feeling a lot better compared to before. She was still down, but was trying to make the best of it. He had to hand it to his friends for being nosy at least. Their constant barrage of questions about them kept her mind off the necklace for a little while. She seemed happy talking and getting to know people. Most of all, they made her feel welcome. He couldn't wish for anything more, except to find the necklace of course.

After a few quiet moments to himself, a head slowly peered over him obscuring his pleasant view of the stars above. It was Genma, who clearly had plenty to drink tonight from the odd way he was swaying as if he was on a boat.

"I ates you," Genma suddenly proclaimed aloud, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"That's… a disturbing image," Kakashi muttered back.

" _Hate!_ " he corrected with a glare, adjusting a toothpick that dangled from the corner of his mouth before placing his hands on his hips.

"I hate you, too," he replied fondly with a hidden smile.

"I'm lossing but-butter."

Snickering, Kakashi asked, "Losing butt butter?"

"Losering _bet_!" he huffed back.

Laughing at his distress, Kakashi sat up from the ground, afraid Genma might topple over him by accident at any given moment. "Oh? Finally going to share what you've been up to?"

"Nine, hate, s-seeeeeven," Genma slurred sternly, leaning over to tap a finger on Kakashi's forehead at the naming of each word.

"I think it goes seven, eight, nine, Genma," Kakashi chuckled, extremely amused at how much of a difficult time it was for his friend to talk.

"Noes, seeee," he replied, leaning over to tapping his digital watch.

Peering at the device, he raised a brow at the streaming numbers; similar to something you'd see any old regular stopwatch display. "It says eleven minutes and a bunch of seconds. What are you timing exactly? How long you've been cooking a cake?"

"No!" he grumbled, puckering his lips as he chewed his toothpick in irritation.

Kakashi hummed like he was deep in thought. "Cupcakes?"

"No!"

"…Cookies?"

Stomping his foot to the grown, Genma yelled, "WILL YOU-"

"-Marry me?" he cut in, flatly adding, "No _._ "

"UGH!" Genma sighed loudly, leaving in frustration.

A chuckle sounded off behind Kakashi along with his own laugh. He turned to find Sakura kneeling down beside him as her laugh subsided.

"You're both so mean to each other," Sakura playfully scolded.

Kakashi shrugged, titling his head with a small smirk forming beneath his mask. "I can't stop myself from annoying him, especially when he's drunk. It's just too fun."

"You know, I was told earlier that your friends were timing how long we were separated during the party. Genma thinks you're whipped and that you're not allowed to leave my side," she laughed.

" _Whipped_ ," he repeated sarcastically. "Just because I want to spend every waking moment with you doesn't mean I'm whipped."

"But doesn't it mean that I have you wrapped around my finger? Clearly, I do," she teased, wiggling her pinky for a moment before nudging him with her shoulder.

"My dear, you're whipped and you and I both know exactly what I mean," he teased back in a seductive voice.

Unable to hold back a bashful grin, she lightly smacked his arm with a laugh and said, "Shush."

"Wait, how long have you known that?"

"That we're both whipped?" she asked.

"No," he said with rolled eyes. "About what the bet was about. I've been trying to get someone to tell me since we got here."

"Before we came outside when you were introducing me to people. I think you were talking with someone at the time, but Asuma's wife, Kurenai, whispered it to me. We didn't chat for too long, but she's really nice. She wanted to give me a heads up and that all of your friends are idiots."

He made a single laugh. "That's Kurenai for you."

She smiled for a moment, shifting her gaze towards the amber flames before them. Letting out a small sigh, her smile faded as thoughts about the missing necklace resurfaced again in her mind.

"Don't worry, Sakura," he said calmly. "I've already told Tenzo about it and that we'll come by tomorrow to start searching for it again. He said he'd be glad to help out, too."

"Oh, really? We'll come back tomorrow?" she asked hopefully. "He doesn't mind?"

"Not at all."

"I see… I'm sorry, Kakashi," she murmured, pulling her knees together as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," he said as he nudged her with his arm.

"I'm sorry for losing it… I'm sorry for causing trouble. I know you said it's no one's fault, but I still feel like I have to apologize in some way."

He hummed, interlocking his arm around hers to pull her closer. "I appreciate how much it means to you, I really do, but if I wanted it not to be worn and not risk it being misplaced, I would have kept it in a safe. But that's not what I wanted. I don't think my mother would want that either."

"You think so?" she asked.

"She never was one for expensive jewelry. That necklace is just made up of simple beadings. I think she liked it because it was unique compared to the kind of stuff you can get that's set with diamonds. My father gave it to her as a souvenir from his trip, but it was one of the first gifts he'd ever given to her. Despite having more or less better jewelry to choose from, she always chose that necklace no matter what the event was. She simply loved it because of who it was from."

"That's how I feel," Sakura smiled.

"I understand that now," he replied warmly.

Without warning, he made a surprised laugh.

"What is it?" she asked with wide eyes, shaking him to answer faster to break him from his laughter. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, my God, I just suddenly remembered," he sighed. "She lost that same necklace once before. I barely remember it…" he said, astonished at the memory. "She nearly searched the entire mansion twice."

"Wow, really? That makes me not feel so bad if she lost it, too," she admitted. "How did she find it?"

Searching his memory, he started to reply, "She…"

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"I…" He laughed. "I can't believe this. I wonder if… there's just no way…"

"No way what?"

"I'll tell you later," he replied.

"No, tell me!" she pouted. "How did she find it?"

"By looking."

She gave him a hardened glare. "I hate you."

"You're the second person who's told me that today," he stated rather proudly.

"I'm sure there's many more," she teased. "Seriously, don't keep me in suspense…"

"When we get home," he replied, removing his arm from hers to stand up.

"Are we going to leave now?" she asked, stretching up from the ground with his help.

"Yeah, it's almost one in the morning. A few people left already, but let's go say goodbye first to a few friends and we'll take off."

"And then you'll tell me, right?"

"Maybe."

She playfully scowled at that, hoisting her purse up more on her shoulder as she followed his lead. Part of her felt exhausted, but still a little upset from before. Hopefully getting some good sleep tonight will make her feel better in the morning.

After they said their goodnights to everyone, Kakashi took hold of her hand as they exited through the front. If Kakashi really had any idea where her necklace could be from the story about his mother, he wasn't showing any signs that he did as they collected their shoes.

Taking one last glance around the genkan, she sighed. It just felt so hopeless that they would ever find it again. It couldn't have just suddenly vanished, yet it certainly seemed that way. Maybe when it fell somebody took it? Her gut dropped. No… his friends would never do that, would they? Just take something without a word?

Kakashi had already left outside as she lingered. Finally turning to leave, she closed the wooden door behind her as she stepped outside into the illuminated night. Just a few feet away, Kakashi had his back turned, but had one hand in his pocket and with the other… he was holding out something, looking as though he was waiting for her to take it.

Wondering what he was doing, she suddenly realized that they hadn't actually searched the front outside. Her heart skipped a beat.

Running to him, she abruptly stopped against his back as she stretched her arms around him, leaning over to look into his palm.

"Oh my gosh! You found it!" she screeched happily, squeezing him into a hug from behind as she jumped up and down in pure joy. "I can't believe it!"

He turned, brushing the face of the necklace from dirt as he smiled. "I remembered that my mother lost it outside, too, in her garden. Last place she looked."

"Ah," she sighed. "I wouldn't have thought it would have fallen out here. I thought I had it the whole time until we went inside."

His index finger ran along the chain of the necklace, following it all the way into the very ends. "The clasp is broken. This is the original chain, so it's pretty old. The necklace was on the doormat. I think when we were greeting Tenzo, it must have fallen when you bowed."

"I-I can't believe it," she choked, looking as if she could tear up at any moment.

"We'll get you a new chain, something that will last for a long, long time," he smiled, closing his hand around the necklace. Pulling at one of her wrists, he turned her hand to open her fingers, letting necklace fall into her palm.

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

"Happy again? Completely happy?" he asked softly.

"Yes," she nodded, crashing another hug around his waist. "Thank you," she repeated, again and again.

He simply smiled, silently mouthing behind her ear, "Love you."

 

* * *

 

Mid-summer not only marked Sakura's second semester at the community college during their short stay in their hometown, but meant there was only a month left before she and Kakashi would be back in Tokyo to prepare for the fall at the university.

She felt a little sad that Kakashi wouldn't be in any of her classes like he was with her that very first semester. She almost wished she could relive that semester all over again, sitting by him once more. If they were as close as they were now, she had no doubt they would have had even more of a blast together during class. At least they still could be together on campus and meet up for lunch just like they did in the spring, so it wasn't so bad. There was a lot to look forward to, but she knew she still had a long road ahead of her once she officially entered medical school. There were going to be many long nights of studying and working in the hospital.

For now, she just wanted to enjoy the rest of their free time together and not worry about the future. That could wait. It was good to just take one day at a time.

Hearing a muffled ring go off, she stirred beneath the sheets, loosening her grip around Kakashi's hips. The patters of rain registered in her mind, which almost lulled her back to sleep, but another ring sounded off, becoming gradually louder and louder each time.

Kakashi also began to wake, inhaling a deep, breathy sigh. Turning inside the sheets from her, he mumbled an apology as he fumbled an arm outside their futon to grab his phone. He peered at the number first before accepting the call, letting out a gruff, "Hello."

Sakura snuggled more against her pillow as she struggled to open her eyes, wondering who was calling at this hour. Glancing up at the window as rain streamed down the glass like tears, grey light barely began to paint the sky. They both had to wake up this morning for their respective schools, but they probably still had two more hours of sleep until they needed to get ready to leave for the day.

"What?" Kakashi said softly, nearly at a whisper. "…Okay, I'll go look."

Lowering the phone from his ear, he paused in thought for a moment. Sitting up in the bed, he freed himself from the tangled bedding. Placing the phone on the floor, he threw on his pajama pants that were discarded nearby at the foot of the bed.

After he grabbed the phone again and placed it against his ear, Sakura watched curiously as he disappeared from the room, making an inaudible whisper. She still had no idea who it could be, but it probably wasn't anything serious. Maybe it was work? Sometimes he was called early to ask if he could substitute a class if a teacher became suddenly sick. That was probably it.

Readjusting herself under the covers, she closed her eyes again. Taking in a deep breath, she let the soft droplets of the rain against the window drift her senses away once more. She loved rain, even in the summer with all the humidity. For a moment, she wished that she didn't have class today so she could sleep in, but her thoughts on the idea began to dissipate as she inched closer again to sleep. It was so peaceful.

A loud crash suddenly snapped her awake, making her heart hammer as she sprung up from the futon. Grabbing her pounding chest, a shot of fear ran across her as she realized that the noise came from downstairs where Kakashi was.

Tossing the sheets aside, she scrambled into the hall after snatching a robe that was folded across their dresser. Nearly tripping down the steps, she suddenly halted halfway, clinging to the banister as she saw Kakashi in the living room. It was dark, but there was enough light to see that he was oddly sitting against one of the walls just a few feet behind the couch.

His head was hidden beneath his arms as he slumped over against his knees.

"Kakashi?" she said faintly.

She wouldn't have felt so alarmed if he would have replied, but he just remained in the same position. He seemed frozen.

Taking a step forward, the stairs creaked against the ball of her foot and she stopped again. This time she let out a gasp at seeing that the television screen had been shattered. Lying just a few meters away was his phone, completely obliterated into jagged, plastic pieces.

"What the hell… Kakashi?" she said in a tight voice.

His head slightly rose and his fingers seemed to tremble. He pulled at his hair in almost desperation for the lack of words, but covered his eyes as his shifted his fingers from his forehead. Still unmoving. Still no words.

Taking another unsure step, she stopped again, this time by the sound of his voice.

"Don't," he rasped. "Go back upstairs."

She held her breath. He had never sounded that way before, ever. It was such an unfamiliar tone. Clearly, something was wrong. She desperately wanted to know what happened.

Never ever had she seen him like this. The way his body was tensed she thought he must have been angry, but between his fingers that hovered over his eyes she could see the sheen of tears against his knuckles. He was crying?

Her heart must have broken into a million pieces when she realized it. Feeling her own tears begin to fall down her cheeks, she covered her mouth to try and hide her shock. Her throat burned. It burned to say something to him. Anything.

"Sakura."

Soft sounds of rain pounding against the roof filled the silence after he said her name. She took it as a sign to come down further, but he quickly barked, "I said don't. Go back."

"W-why?" she managed to say before she began to cry. She didn't understand what was happening. "What's wrong?"

She couldn't take the silence.

She felt so utterly afraid. What the hell happened? Why was he acting like this? The way he just sat there motionless, refusing to look in her eye was scaring her.

"T-talk to me," she sobbed. "I-I don't understand, tell me."

"Go upstairs," he warned, his voice cracking.

"No… tell me…. t-tell me what's wrong," she breathed, biting her salted lip as she tried to stop the heave of her chest as she cried. She took another step.

"GO!" he yelled, violently slamming his fist onto the floor with a loud bang that echoed throughout the house.

She flinched like a knife had just grazed her skin. With her heart racing, she abruptly turned and ran back up the stairs, falling over her feet as she tried to just go, forcing herself not to run back towards him. Each step felt like she was being weighed down by heavy chains. Her eyes became blurred with tears as she ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She wasn't angry at first. She was just so fucking scared and confused.

Hearing the smash of glass, she jolted with a shuttered gasp. Completely breaking down, she slowly slid back against the door. She was crying so hard, it hurt so much as she tried to breathe.

She was crying for him, crying to understand what was wrong. Why was he hurting? Why wouldn't he let her be there with him? He was always there for her throughout her aggravating ordeal with her mother. No, compared to that this was something far deeper, something that had shaken him to his very core.

It didn't matter if he couldn't explain. Maybe he just didn't want to, but she wanted to hold him. Do something, anything.

All she could do was just cry.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	39. I'm Just Surviving

**Chapter 39: I'm Just Surviving**

Blood slowly trickled to the very ends of Kakashi's fingertips; droplets of crimson stained across his pajama pants and the floor. The sting of glass embedded in his hand seemed like nothing compared to how he felt right now.

Listening to the soft cries from Sakura upstairs only made his heart further sink in despair. He could never forgive himself.

How could he?

Leaning his aching head against the cool wall where he stood, he stared down at the fallen pieces of the mirror that he had just smashed with his bare hand. It was the nearest thing within striking distance at the time, but perhaps choosing it had more meaning than he cared to admit.

Shifting his weight into the dim light from the windows above, a shattered image of himself reflected right back.

_Pathetic._

His chest felt a heavy burn as the word echoed throughout his mind. The culminating anger that consumed him from before only doubled from how much he hated himself right now.

_You're so pathetic._

In an instant, another surge of anger coursed through his veins. Backhanding a ceramic lamp from a side table, it spun wildly to the floor with a hallowed clank, exploding into several ashen pieces with smears of red. He winced immediately after, hissing from the pain in his hand. He looked down to his fist to see what he had done.

Several shards of glass had further deepened between his knuckles, spilling even more blood down his shaking fingers. His mind alarmed him that he needed to stop.

What was he doing?

Remaining still for a moment, he tried to collect his thoughts. Taking in a deep breath, the exhale that followed after slowly diffused his anger. Looking at the scene around himself, he felt even worse. What was wrong with him? Losing control of his emotions like this…

What the _hell_ was he doing?

This wasn't like him. Sakura didn't deserve to witness something like this. Not towards her, not towards anyone for that matter.

He felt so stupid.

It was obvious since day one, wasn't it? He should have known all along. The thought had already crossed his mind when he was a child. What could he have really done, anyway? Confirming it only just proved what he feared, but never wanted to admit aloud. It hurt too much. After everything that had happened, it was perhaps the last fragment of truth he might have been better off not knowing.

He had barely survived as it was as a kid. The death of his parents, his uncle's constant abuse and verbal harassment had already pushed him to a tipping point. Getting so much negativity at once in your life is something that can break down and drain the soul out of you.

It can kill you.

And he almost wanted it to.

It would have made things easier, wouldn't it? Just to die and forget everything? But then he realized how stupid it was. Why should he have to give up? Why should he let the people who hurt him win? Life is something that you shouldn't throw away. It matters.

You only have _one_.

No matter how difficult things can be some days, or even years, he knew if he could just hold on, he could make it. He could have a life that he wanted to live in. He could find happiness again, no matter how small. He always had that hope and was realizing it in his adulthood, especially now that he had Sakura in his life.

_Sakura…_

He could still hear her faint sobs through the clatter of rain tapping against the windows. Starting to feel lightheaded, he leaned against the couch.

Why did he have to do this?

When he read the headline of the newscast this morning, he almost didn't believe it at first. It seemed so unimaginable, yet at the same time, completely conceivable. It was as if this was all some kind of dream and he just hadn't woken up yet, but the pain he felt right now inside and out was very real.

Without warning, his name was dropped back into the media like a piece of paper thrown into a fire. Getting fame for all the wrong reasons because of tragedy, he didn't ask for this. He didn't want it.

Seeing his own masked face plastered all over the screen while people talked about his life candidly, as if they really knew anything about him, was a prelude to what was coming next.

It took nearly over a decade for people to forget about the kid he once was. The looks, the fake sympathy… now he'd have to relive it all the fuck over again as an adult, except this time he didn't think he could manage it. Not a second time.

Seemed like no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't run far enough from the black hole that was his family's name. It was impossible to just be left alone and live his life like he wished for as a kid.

It seemed so laughable now. He really did think that for one moment, just for a moment, he could live a normal life. Have a normal job, a wife… he had seriously deluded himself that he could ever have such a simple existence.

At least now the rest of the whole world knew the kind of man his uncle was. A liar, a thief, and most important of all: a fucking murderer.

Feeling his lungs ache, he tried to take another deep breath, making a broken exhale of frustration. Feeling his knees becoming weak, he moved towards the stairs, painfully gripping the banister as he nearly slipped to the floor.

What pissed him off the most wasn't just the grim truth of who was behind his parents' death, or that he could now kiss whatever sense of privacy he had left goodbye, but the fact that the murderer would never answer to his crimes.

Never.

It was like a slap to the face. What the hell was it all for then? What was the fucking point?

Tilting his head into the banister as he sat on the bottom steps, he fixated his eyes to a dark corner in the room. He could almost see himself sitting there when he was a kid.

Same old, Kakashi. Too afraid to move.

How much of his life would have changed if the truth was known since the beginning? Where would he be now? Happier? Of course he would have been happier. He would have been spared years of abuse.

Sakura's crying from upstairs snapped him out of his thoughts, drifting his gaze towards the grey light of the windows. He had to ask himself, why?

Why was he such a fuck up?

The one person in this whole world who loved him, who cared for him, and she was hurting because of him. The pent up feelings of hate he'd been growing in his heart for decades now had come undone all at once. He didn't want her to see him like this, but forcing her to leave the room only made things worse, not better.

He never wanted to acknowledge how he really felt about… just everything. How sick he was of his family. How much he wanted to change his identity. He felt selfish for even wishing that, as if he wanted his parents to not exist. He may have only known them for a short time, but he loved them. It was just everyone else he wished that didn't exist.

It was easier to just leave his feelings alone. He always told himself to keep looking forward to the future, not backwards, but the amount of unspoken animosity he felt towards his relatives was just too much.

He could always take control of his emotions and even prided himself that he could. It was something he had to do growing up. In a lot of ways, he felt like it was the only way he could survive. Besides, if he were to cry, he would get beaten until there weren't any more tears.

But this time he had lost control. He didn't mean to. He knew, no, he was _taught_ better…

Hurting his fist was the only way he figured he could stop himself from tearing apart the entire house. He had never done something like that before. It felt good in some ways to vent like that, but he needed to stop. This wasn't the right way he needed to deal with things. The adult inside of him knew that.

Straightening up, he weakly started to rise, but only managed to go up a couple steps before he slumped down like a puppet whose strings had been slacked. It wasn't until the burn of a salted tear that fell into the open cut of his hand did he realize that he was even crying.

_How pathetic…_

His uncle's words repeated through his head again. Wasn't he? Carrying on like this, like some child. He was a grown man for fucking sake. There wasn't any point in crying. Tears weren't going to bring back people from the dead. His uncle told that to him all the time. They weren't going to change things. It was a waste of an emotion, a waste of effort.

Yet tears continued to stream down his cheeks and he wasn't sure why. What the fuck was he crying for? He really didn't understand it. Part of him felt relieved, but at the same time he felt ashamed.

Moving his head towards Sakura's muffled sobs, he looked up the towering steps above. He felt an overwhelming urge to tell her how sorry he was and that she was the last person he would ever want to make cry.

He knew he shouldn't be pushing her away. He would have never wanted Sakura to do the same towards him. It made him such a hypocrite, but he felt so weak for not staying in control. He should have been stronger, shouldn't he?

Instead, he managed to hurt her. She was crying right now because of him, because he was here… because he was weak, worthless.

Maybe he should just leave.

It's what he should have done in the very beginning instead of taking it out on everything around him, including her… If he was lucky, she would forgive him.

Glancing towards the door below, he knew he couldn't go before he told her he was sorry. He had to say it. Even if it was the very last thing did, he had to tell her.

Pulling himself up along the banister, he tried to ignore the throbbing pain throughout his hand as he took uneasy steps up the creaking stairs. Once he was at the very top, he quietly dropped to his knees in front of the bathroom. Composing himself, he wiped away his tears.

Hesitantly raising a finger, he tapped against the door, making her crying fall silent.

"Sakura," he whispered hoarsely. "I'm sorry…"

After a few seconds, he added, "I just… I don't know what to say except how sorry I am. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Hearing the door open, he looked down towards the floor as she peered through the crack.

"I'm sorry," he repeated sincerely. "I think it's best if I leave for a little while."

When he started to rise, she abruptly cried out, "No!"

Pushing the door open, she threw herself against his chest, crashing him back down to the floor. "Y-you can't l-leave," she protested, choking through her words.

"Sakura…"

"I said, _no_ ," she demanded harshly through her tears. "You're not going anywhere like this. I love you too damn much to watch you hurt like this on your own. I'm here for you, Kakashi, I always have been."

Hugging him tightly, she refused to let go as he sat there speechless at first. Relaxing into her hold, he brought a single arm around her, hugging her back for a moment. "I know, Sakura…"

"You've always been there for me, Kakashi. Why can't I do the same for you?" she murmured painfully. Looking down his chest between their hug, she suddenly cried out in alarm, "What the… Kakashi!"

Pulling back, she glanced at the spots of red that was on his pants leading towards his side. Searching for the source, she pulled out his arm he had pressed firmly against his leg. "Y-You're hurt," she cracked, shocked at the amount of blood on his hand. "Why would you do this?" she sobbed.

He didn't know what else to say, besides, "I'm sorry…"

"L-Let me see," she said in a broken tone, trying to hold back how upset she was as he reluctantly lifted his palm towards her. When she gently unfolded his fingers, his hand began to slightly shake, making her pause.

Once she turned his hand, she covered her mouth in shock as fresh tears began to stream down her cheeks. "You need to go to the hospital, _right now_."

His heart started to well up with panic. When she started to stand, he grabbed her wrist. "Sakura, please… I'd rather not…"

"You need to go to the ER."

Pulling her closer, he pleaded, "Can't you just pull the glass out?"

"No, I-I can't," she replied. "It's too deep and might cause more damage."

"Sakura, I'll be fine."

"You're not fine!" she yelled.

"Do we really… I just…"

"Kakashi," she warned. "We're going."

He sighed, looking away indifferently to hide his guilt. "Okay."

Wiping her eyes, she broke free from his hold and bolted into the bathroom, nearly knocking over everything on the counter as she frantically searched for a medical kit or anything else that would be useful. Not finding much, she grabbed a few clean towels.

Dropping them next to him, she ran into the bedroom and quickly changed out of her robe into whatever clothes were nearest. Grabbing a bag that was by the dresser, she threw together some of his shirts into it. When she was finished, she zipped it up and hoisted it over her shoulder.

Once she emerged into the hall again, she helped him stand up and handed a towel to him.

As she led him to the stairs, he asked, "Can I at least change first?"

"I have some of your clothes for you to. Do it in the car, okay?"

"Okay…"

Stealing a sideways glance before they carefully descended down the stairs, more guilt weighed down on him like a brick as they stood still in the living room. She didn't say anything as she examined the damage. It looked like a complete disaster. Wordlessly, she stepped around the debris as she snatched his car keys from the coffee table.

When she turned around, she averted her eyes towards the floor before moving an arm around his. Her lip was trembling.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'll clean everything when we get back, okay? I promise."

She just nodded in response, unable to speak. Kneeling down, she plucked up the umbrella that was leaning against the wall by the door.

Once they were outside, she opened the umbrella and held it open for them both until they made it to the car. After Kakashi was in the passenger seat, she dropped the bag that was on her shoulder to his feet, and then closed the umbrella and held it out to him. She was just standing there, getting soaked in the rain as she waited for him to take it. He finally grabbed it, confused why she wouldn't use it. She didn't seem to care.

"Sakura-" he started to say, but was cut off by the door.

He sighed as he watched her run around the car to the driver's side. She looked frozen as water dripped from the very ends of her now dark pink hair. He tried to offer her one of the clean dry towels, but she quickly dismissed it as she started the car.

Ignoring her initial protest, he rubbed the towel into her hair, face and shoulders as she tried to squirm away.

"Kakashi, I'm fine," she huffed with flushed cheeks, pushing the towel back towards him.

"About as fine as I am," he replied dryly.

She flinched in response, but said nothing. Shifting the car into gear, they were soon on their way. There was only one hospital in town, but it wasn't terribly far from where they were.

The silence was heavy between them as they drove. He didn't know what to say, except to just repeat how sorry he was like a broken record. Clearly, she was upset. She had the right to be mad. It was his fault for making her cry in the first place because he couldn't control his stupid emotions, because he wasn't strong enough…

Inwardly sighing, he unzipped the bag that was below him. With one hand, he pulled on a black sleeveless shirt with an attached mask the best he could without touching his wounds. Letting the mask pool beneath his chin for now, he slumped in his seat and recovered his hand with a towel. Giving Sakura a single glance, he turned his attention out the window streaked with rain.

Hearing her start to softly cry, he turned towards her as she tried to clear away her tears with the back of her hand.

"Sakura," he called out softly, gently touching her shoulder.

She remained looking forward, trying to concentrate on driving. "I-I'm sorry, I ju-st can't stop myself from c-crying," she sputtered. "This is j-just too much."

"Sakura," he repeated. "I'm _really_ sorry. I mean it. I don't want to make you upset…"

"You act like getting hurt isn't a big deal."

"I'm not saying that it isn't. I lost my temper and didn't know what I was doing. Frankly, I'd rather not be anywhere period right now, not just a hospital… though I really don't care for them."

"Why?" she asked.

He stalled. "Because… I've been there more times than I can count."

"…Why?" she repeated hesitantly.

He sighed. "Just fucking because, Sakura," he snapped, immediately regretting it as she began to cry more.

"I'm sorry," he added, rubbing his forehead in anguish. He felt so hopeless at this point. All he was doing was hurting her. What the hell was wrong with him?

"W-We're together, aren't we?" she suddenly asked.

"…Yes," he replied heavily, feeling his heart twist.

"Y-You told me…" She sniffled and slowed the car down as her vision blurred from the steadily oncoming tears.

"Sakura, pull over a minute," he urged.

"You need to go to the ER."

"I'll be just fine. We can stop just for a minute. We're not that far. Just stop, please?"

With a weak sigh, she pulled the car onto the side of the road. Knuckles whitening as she tightened her grip on the steer wheel, she stared into the flicking windshield wipers.

"You told me I could tell you anything," she murmured sadly. "You can tell me anything, too."

He sighed. "I know, I just…"

She leaned back against the leather seat, covering her eyes as she looked down. "I-It just hurts so much to see you like this and I just don't know why. How can we be together when you won't share your problems?"

"…"

Why couldn't he just come out and say it?

"It's just…"

She turned to him and blinked away her tears. "You're not alone."

Those words struck a chord within him.

No, he wasn't alone. He had been alone for most of his life until now, but he had friends and he had Sakura. Still, he was used to being on his own. He didn't have to be alone.

Why was he making this so hard?

Feeling his throat burn, he muttered, "I…"

"It's okay to cry," she whispered, leaning towards him as he looked away. "God knows I do it a lot," she badly joked, quickly wiping a hand across her tear stained face.

He managed a small smile, returning to her gaze.

"It's okay to be angry. It's okay to throw things, too, but not when you're hurting yourself," she said softly, lightly touching the outer edge of the towel that was wrapped around his hand. "I'd rather you yell at me instead of this."

"Sakura, I'm really sorry," he whispered, taking her hand in his. With a gentle squeeze, he added, "I never want to hurt you like this…"

She shrugged, trying her best to smile. "We all do things we don't mean to when we're upset. It's okay, I forgive you."

"I don't deserve it, but thank you," he said gratefully, feeling his heart instantly become more at ease.

He really did feel undeserving by the way she was looking at him. She really did care so much.

"I love you. Never forget that, okay?" she said almost sadly, grazing a thumb softly down the center of his cheek.

"I love you, too," he replied faintly.

After a long silence, he took in a deep breath. "About what's going on, Sakura…"

"You can tell me anything," she encouraged, intertwining her fingers with his.

"It's about my parents," he continued, glancing down to his lap.

Remembering what he had told her before about their deaths, she held his hand more firmly. The silence before what he said next was almost unbearable.

He sighed. "My uncle confessed to murdering them. It's all over the news this morning."

"I-I'm sorry, Kakashi," she sympathized, feeling her stomach drop.

"He didn't just hate me because I was his brother's son; he hated me because I lived."

"Kakashi…"

She remained quiet at first, trying to find the right words. She didn't want to cry any more than she had already, but she couldn't stop herself as she talked, "I-I know how much he hurt you. To find out that he's behind your parents as well… it's r-really… it's..."

Brushing her eyes with her sleeve, she swallowed until she could speak again. "Y-You have the right to be upset. I know it must hurt a lot, but at least he'll finally go to prison where he belongs, especially after what he's put you through."

Shaking his head, he replied weakly, "No, he won't."

"He… won't?" she asked, confused.

"No."

"But…"

"He's dead."

She blinked. "Wait, what?"

"He died yesterday from a heart attack… and today they released a written confession he had sealed along with his will. How much he paid for it to be done… and everything else."

"…Ka-Kashi," she stuttered.

"If I would have died right along with my parents, he would have had everything. Not only just the company, but the millions of inheritance I was given when I turned eighteen. It just… makes sense. His fucking greed. It pisses me off that he had gotten away with it for all these years. Now he's gone. He won't ever have to pay for what he did… ever."

Sakura pulled him into an embrace, unsure what to even say as she squeezed him tightly, using her hug as silent words of comfort instead. Resting her head against his shoulder, she listened to his beating heart before he let out a disheartened sigh.

He added, "I feel like such a failure. All the things I shouldn't have put up with growing up. I should have said something... but it was easier not to. I let him walk all over me. I didn't do anything…"

"You're not a failure," she whispered beneath his ear. "You did the best you knew how at the time."

"I can't change the past, as much as I wish I could," he confided.

Sakura held him tighter, burying her head in the nape of his neck as he smoothed his fingers down her spine. They stayed that way for a moment, listening to nothing but the rain and the robotic windshield wipers that jetted back and forth. Moving his hand to her shoulder, he pulled her back just enough to place a heartfelt kiss on her lips.

"I'm really sorry how I acted before," he said again, not feeling like he could say it enough.

"It's okay," she smiled weakly. "I've already forgiven you even before the morning started. I'll always love you… I trust you…"

He sighed in disbelief. "Do you realize how many times I ask myself how much I don't deserve you?" he asked, brushing a finger into her damp hair.

"Do you realize how many times I ask the same about you?" she countered, smiling as she brought her hand to his.

With a single laugh, he hummed. "I'm pretty sure I'm much more trouble."

"Nonsense."

"I still steal your panties when you're not around," he admitted.

She shrugged. "I steal your smutty books."

"So that explains a few vanishing volumes," he speculated teasingly.

"Maybe you'd have more around the house if you didn't use my underwear as freaking bookmarks," she said flatly.

"Ah," he said in recollection. "So that's where I've putting some of them. I tend to forget."

She sighed, shooting him a glare.

"See?" he muttered proudly. "I'm a lot more trouble."

"Only some days," she replied with a small smile, but faded when she looked down to his hand. Blood had started to soak through the towel. "We need to go," she said worriedly.

He nodded, still hating the idea of going to the hospital, but knew it was inevitable.

Reaching for a new towel from the bag, she replaced it around his hand, discarding the old one to the floor. "Keep holding it down like this the best you can," she said.

Wincing at first from the pressure, he recovered before she looked up to him, not wanting to worry her any more than he already had. He gave her another nod, doing as she asked when he placed his fingers over hers to take over.

Once they were back on the road, it wasn't too long before they pulled into the hospital parking lot. He felt even more dread drop on his shoulders like an anchor as soon as he placed a foot outside on the slick pavement. He sighed.

Sakura frowned at first, holding the umbrella higher for him as she helped him walk. "It'll be okay, Kakashi. Hopefully we won't be here for too long."

"Right," he replied, glancing at the hospital's glass doors just up ahead.

Once they entered inside, several curious eyes within the room followed them as they were greeted by a nurse. After being quickly assessed of his injury, the nurse told them to wait just a few minutes while a room was prepared.

Kakashi sighed as he and Sakura went to a set of empty chairs that were against the wall. He hated this place. Every hospital always seemed the same from the overwhelming smell of disinfectant, to the white washed walls that lacked any kind of warmth or character.

He further slouched in his chair once he realized how people were looking between him and the television that was in the upper corner of the room. It wouldn't have been so difficult if he didn't have to listen to every detail over and over again. Seeing images of his parents flash before the screen followed by him and his uncle.

It was making him sick inside and out.

Sakura watched at first in disbelief, but then after giving him a single glance, she rose up from her chair.

"Sakura," he whispered, reaching out for her to sit back down.

Brushing his fingers aside, she went to the counter and spoke discreetly with the nurse, who glanced sympathetically at Kakashi for a moment. When Sakura returned, the nurse had changed the channel to the weather station.

"You didn't have to do that," he murmured.

"I was curious about the weather." She shrugged nonchalantly.

He made a point to stare out the open windows before returning to her gaze. "It's raining."

"Ah, so it is, but what about later today?" she asked, smiling briefly.

Taking her hand, he gave an appreciative squeeze before uncomfortably sitting back in his chair. Looking down towards the glossy floor, he bounced his foot quietly beneath his chair. The longer they waited, the more anxiety he felt building in his chest.

He hated how old memories that were long forgotten were emerging now. It seemed unfair how easily all the years of suppression had come undone in a matter of hours. Now he just wanted his life back. He wanted his happiness back.

When his name was called, Sakura encouraged him with a smile as she stood up to walk by his side.

He realized in that moment how much he truly loved her. Why did it seem so easy to forget that she was his happiness? She hadn't gone anywhere. She's right here and now…

He wasn't alone.

* * *

Kakashi rubbed his tired, puffy eyes once they entered the house. He was half hoping that when he opened his eyes again, the disaster area that used to be their living room would have disappeared. It didn't.

Even now, he could still feel all the anger in the room… it was depressing. Looking down at his bloodstained pajama pants, he sighed at what a complete mess he was right now inside and out. Lifting up his aching hand, the stitches across his fist looked awful.

Sakura lightly touched his fingers. "It doesn't hurt a lot still, does it?" she asked.

"I'm okay," he assured, dropping his hand to his side. "The medicine helps."

She hummed, falling silent for a moment in thought. "Are you hungry? Can I do anything?" she asked.

He shook is head. "I've already caused you enough trouble and it's not even noon yet. I'm fine," he sighed.

"You're not trouble," she pouted.

"I think I'll just change and go to bed for now. Some sleep might do me some good."

"Alright."

Carefully taking his arm, she led him upstairs towards the bedroom. Once they were at the futon, he kneeled down on the bed as she went to the dresser. Searching through the drawers, she pulled out another set of pajama pants and crawled next to him on the bed.

"Thank you," he said, taking the clothing from her.

She responded with a warm smile.

After he had changed himself, he tossed his old clothes in a corner of the room before lying down on the bed. Sakura fell next to him with a plop.

He took in a deep breath. "Sorry again… for making you lose sleep because of me," he murmured.

"I'd rather be with you than sleep, silly," she sighed. "No more 'sorry's from you today, okay?"

"You're missing classes right now though."

"I'm not going either way, so it doesn't really matter. I'm not going tomorrow either."

"Don't go because of me, Sakura, I'm okay."

"You're not going to work, are you?" she asked.

"Well, no... Tsunade said it's covered before I decked the T.V. with my phone," he replied regretfully. "She's the one who called me once someone told her what was in the news this morning."

She shrugged. "Then I'm not going either."

"Sakura…"

"I'm not going anywhere," she stated firmly, snuggling next to him.

"Just for today, okay?" he asked hopefully.

"I'm not promising anything."

"Stubborn," he muttered.

"You're stubborn," she retorted back.

Feeling her hand move across his chest, he slipped it into his. "Seriously, Sakura… thank you."

"For what?" she murmured against his back.

"Everything."

He didn't have the words to say how thankful he was that she was here right now. He didn't want to be a hindrance, he didn't want to cause her any more pain than he already had, but there was an unexplainable comfort.

His chest still felt heavy and achy, but she made it bearable simply by being next to him. She gave him so much strength. If he had to go through this all again, alone, it would have been no different than when he was a child. Through all the pain and anger, through all the sadness and despair… back then he was just surviving.

Barely surviving.

Feeling her chest rise and fall against his back, he felt like this is where he belonged, like a true home. The house or place didn't matter, as long as she was right here beside him.

Keeping still, his eyes looked towards the clouded sky as it continued to pour softly against the windows. Without Sakura, he really wasn't sure what he would have done. How far would he have gone? If he had never opened up with anyone up until this point in his life, it would have made this entire ordeal more difficult.

Time and time again, it always led back to how he felt so fortunate that she was here. Love really did seem to happen when you least expected it, but only at the right moment.

He was lucky to have her in this very moment.

Taking in a slow breath, his heart still felt so much bitterness and regret. He didn't know how he was going to manage the next few weeks, especially with the media. If it turned into anything like when he was a child… just the thought of it made his heart clench.

Being surrounded so publicly was one of the reasons why he became emotionless and numb in the first place. He didn't want to ever feel that way again. It took so many years to get where he was now. He could smile easily again, joke around with the friends he made through the years and now finally, to have someone special in his life. He was so close to finally complete his dream… of just being happy. Now he was just scared he might lose everything.

"Get some sleep," Sakura whispered against his skin.

He smiled, wondering at first how she knew he was still lying awake right now, but then realized that she couldn't sleep either. His eyes and mind were tired, but he just couldn't rest.

Adjusting his head more into the pillow, he closed his eyes for now, letting his thoughts drift. Squeezing her hand in his, he slowly smoothed his thumb against the palm of her hand as they laid in silence, listening to nothing but the rain and each other's faint breaths.

He didn't want to feel this way anymore. He wanted to go back to how it was from before. All he wanted was to just be with Sakura and move on…

But why was it just so hard? Why couldn't he just forget?

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my bday, I give myself the gift of a new chapter, which I pass along to you. (sweet deal, right?)
> 
> It's been over a year since I first started this story. What's happening now has been my original intention since the beginning. This and compared to what's happening in the manga right now… just makes me really sad. t_t
> 
> Anyway, I appreciate everyone's comments and patience so far. If you enjoyed anything, it makes me happy to know.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo) <3


	40. Forgetting to Remember

**Chapter 40: Forgetting to Remember**

A slow, eerie creak stirred Kakashi awake for a moment, barely acknowledging the sound with a sliver of his eye before snuggling back into the warmth of his pillow. Sleep almost overtook him again until faint approaching footsteps against the carpet pulled his consciousness back.

When the steps stopped, a strange inkling of fear inched down his spine. As the hair on the back of his neck stood up, he forced opened both of his tired eyes. Silently, he turned to look into the darkness behind him. A small glint caught from the corner of his eye made his heart stand still. It was the last thing he saw before a cold, sharp object plunged crookedly into his back. His mouth shot open as he screamed from the sudden pain, almost too shocked to move before he tore away from the sinking metal into his flesh.

Tears stung his eyes as another strike came towards him, but this time ripping into the sheets as he rolled painfully to the floor. He panicked, scrambling to stand as a dark shadow shot across the bed.

Tripping over himself, his knees burned against the carpet as he crumpled to the floor, arching as he landed from the deep wrenching pain shooting along his back.

The closer the figure came the more fear gripped his heart as he scooted away, struggling to stand. Bumping into a chair, he frantically tried feeling his way around it, but another slash of pain burned across his chest before he had the chance. He cried out, falling backwards towards a shelf.

Books and toys scattered to the floor as he pushed away, running towards the open door of his room. Another sharp sting slashed through the fabric of his nightshirt, making him gasp as he plummeted to the floor.

As blood trickled down his skin, he felt even more terrified at the thought that he was really going to die.

"W-Why?" he asked in a tight voice. "Why?"

His question was only met with silence. Feeling a presence hover over him, he picked himself up off the floor by pure willpower against the pain that ached throughout his small frame.

Quickly twisting the lock of the door as he escaped his room, he slammed it behind him as he ran into the dimly lit hallway. Every part of him just wanted to fall down and cry in disbelief and agony, but he forced himself to keep running.

Nearly falling down the stairs in haste, he ran even faster as a pair of heavy steps charged after him from the top of the stairs. He didn't want to look back. He couldn't look back. He was too damn scared to. Through the pain and blur of tears, he placed all his hope on just reaching the other side of the hallway - the only place he knew he could be safe.

"D-Dad!" his voice cracked. "Mom, help!"

Relief immediately washed over him when he realized the bedroom light was on as he barraged inside, slamming the door behind him. He was confused why both of his parents lay still in the middle of the bed even after his noisy entrance. His father seemed peacefully asleep.

Grabbing his mother's side of the bed, he said, "Wake up! There's…"

He realized her eyes were open, staring blankly towards the ceiling. Fear welled up in his chest that something was wrong. When he shook her, pieces of her fair hair swept across her pale features, but yielded no response. She wouldn't move.

"W-wake up," he cried, shaking her weakly. "Wake up… wake up!" he repeated, losing his voice to a painful sob. Neither of them would move.

"Wake up… please, wake up…"

Trembling, he pulled back the sheets to find both his parents covered with red. His stomached wretched when he caught a glimpse of the source. Dropping the bedding in horror, his knees gave way. He couldn't believe it.

Just like that, they were gone forever.

They were dead.

The door knob twisted behind him, snapping him out from the few seconds of grieving. As he pushed himself up to get away, the world around him fell black, collapsing him back towards the floor.

His consciousness returned when a hand grabbed a fistful of his silver hair, roughly pulling him up as he cried with pleas for whoever was doing it to stop. Between his sobs, his mind barely recognized that it was a familiar face that was holding him: a fairly new housekeeper whom he had quickly grown attached to when both of his parents were away. Whatever warmth that used to be in his eyes was gone. It was like he was staring at a complete stranger. He didn't have time to think about why, but felt whatever trust he had was betrayed in every way.

Feeling the knife pressed against his throat, all he could think about was that this was the end. At the age of eight this was how he was going to die. Never in his short life did he ever think about death. Now it was all around him, and nothing could ever make him feel as scared as he was now of the unknown.

He pressed his small fingers into the edge of the knife, trying to force it away, only to cut into his knuckles.

"Stop struggling," an irritated voice said.

_No._

This couldn't be the end.

He wasn't ready to die.

Tearing away from the tight grip against his hair, he stumbled into the wall. The attacker followed after, making missed strike after strike as he clumsily dodged each terrifying blow. Framed pictures and collectables broke, scattering across the floor as he ran across the room, running as fast as his legs could carry him.

Remembering the alarm system, he grabbed a metal trophy that had fallen from the shelf, flinging it towards the window as hard as he could. He fell again to the floor from a sudden flare of pain, watching the object shatter the window as it instantaneously sounded the alarm within the entire mansion.

The attacker stalled for a moment at the high pitched sound, but with new resolve made a final attempt to capture him once more. With no where else to turn, Kakashi used what little energy he had left to stand up, running towards the very last hope of escape.

Jumping through the jagged window, glass tore into his skin as he slipped through. A branch slammed into his chest after falling a few feet, knocking the wind out of him as he fell and scraped between the large branches for nearly two stories, breaking several bones along the way.

The ground greeted him with a sickening crunch.

* * *

Jolting up from the futon, Kakashi couldn't move his lungs at first. Sakura was next to him, startled awake from his sudden movement. The moonlight from the windows against his scarred back hid his face, but the way he was roughly breathing was enough to see that something was wrong.

Sitting up, Sakura placed a careful hand against his shoulder. "Kakashi… are you okay?"

Taking in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly as he rubbed his eyes. Relaxing into her hand, he eventually nodded.

"Bad dream?" she asked softly.

"A bad memory," he corrected, looking down at his hands as his racing heart slowed. The fresh stitches reminded him again of why he was being haunted by his stupid memories in the first place.

It was only the second night. He just wanted to forget already. Not feel worse.

Sakura slipped out of bed momentarily, returning with a small cup. "I grabbed this when I woke up earlier. Have some water," she offered. "It's still a bit cold."

Accepting it, he whispered a small thank you and finished off the rest of the liquid that was in the glass.

"Want to talk about it?" she asked with concern, kneeling quietly beside him.

"Um…" Placing the cup aside, he sighed. "Not right now, but thank you."

She nodded, looking down. "Maybe later if you want to. I'm here to listen, okay? Remember, you're not alone."

With a small smile, he nodded. "Okay. I'll do that. Just… not right now. I need some time."

Over twenty years later, how much more time did he really need? He inwardly sighed. How did he move past this in the first place? He couldn't even remember anymore. Did he actually ever? Probably not. Time made the pain and memories fade, but he could never truly forget as much as he wanted to.

God, he hated reliving this.

Sakura suddenly pulled him into her arms, hugging him tightly. With a breathy sigh, he inhaled the sweet floral scent of her hair and gently returned the gesture. Being with her like this was always so comforting.

Tugging her backwards with him as he lay back down against the futon, she moved back to lean against his chest. She tried her best to form a reassuring smile at his gaze.

The pale moon that peeked through the curtains above made her green eyes light up into a teal color he had never seen before.

Touching the edge of her eyes with a thumb, he murmured, "Always so beautiful."

With a bashful grin, she leaned down to sweetly kiss the tip of his nose. As she started to move back to look into his eyes, he brought her back down to steal a kiss.

Lingering against his mouth, she experimentally licked at his bottom lip before he opened his mouth wider for deeper access. A low guttural groan escaped her throat as he passionately twirled his tongue against hers.

Breaking away, she caressed her lips against his neck, pressing lazy circles across his skin with her tongue.

"Sakura," he breathed as a whisper. "We should get some sleep… it's been a long day for us both."

She paused. "If you want me to stop, I will."

Without another word, she licked from the tip of his collarbone, to his Adam's apple, further kissing all the way up to his scruffy chin.

A small tingle melted down his spine. "You're making it impossible for me to want you to stop," he lightheartedly agonized.

"Then I won't," she mused.

Being still emotionally drained from the day before, he couldn't deny how good it felt feeling her against him like this. Perhaps she needed him as much as he needed her. He wasn't sure if he was just being weak in wanting to desire something so carnal like this, but he wanted to feel every familiar curve and silky plane of her skin. He wanted to make her his, again and again. Was it so wrong to feel that way?

Was this what it'd take to make him forget? Was it okay to?

As he slowly rolled up her shirt, every ticklish kiss he placed between her breasts and ribs made him believe it was okay. As the memory of his dream quickly drifted away, every worry in the back of his mind was replaced with pleasure.

Sakura soon straddled him, pulling off the rest of her top to briefly expose her bare breasts. Playfully, she covered herself with the crumpled shirt, pretending to be bashful as she dipped it only enough to show her cleavage.

"Now, now, no need to be shy," he whispered with a grin, slipping a few of his fingers beneath the loose fabric. Cupping her breast, he circled his thumb against her hardening nipple.

It wasn't long before the shirt was dropped and forgotten as she leaned more into his hands, sinking against his chest with a sigh as he massaged her tenderly.

Roaming her hands to every muscle of his that she could caress, she continued to tease him as she slowly rolled her hips against his. Between the light fabric of his pants and her panties, she could feel the heat between her legs growing as she stroked herself intimately against his hardening length.

"Sakura," he gritted, pressing her more into his hips as she increased her thrusts against him. "Don't stop."

She whimpered, throwing her head back as she sat up to grind against him faster until she couldn't fight back the wave of oncoming pleasure anymore. Crying out his name, she doubled over against his chest, breathing heavily before placing more tantalizing kisses against him.

Her body was hot and the folds between her legs were aching to be filled. Sweeping her fingers against his sculpted stomach, she carefully raised his arms above his head against the pillow, smoothing her hands over his skin. Kissing him deeply, she broke away to tug his pants down just enough to expose what she was yearning for.

"Baby," he groaned, erratically jerking into her hand as she stroked him.

Unsure of how much longer he could last, he stopped her ministrations, guiding her hips squarely over his. Pulling the bottom of her panties off to the side, he filled her within.

"Kakashi." Her breath hitched, slowly moving against him as they both grunted at their connection.

"You're so damn wet," he groaned approvingly, encouraging her to move faster as he bucked beneath her.

She squeaked in response, rocking against him even harder and more frantically as every thrust neared each other's release. Grazing her sweaty chest against his to meet his lips, he tugged and nibbled at her mouth. Stroking his fingers along her thigh, he inwardly cursed at the handicap of his stitched hand to feel her with both.

When Sakura came, she brought him right along with her, clenching against him tightly until they were both completely drained inwardly and outwardly. Falling beside him, she laughed when she realized that she had landed completely off the futon and onto the floor.

"This would be more embarrassing if it was a standard bed that was five feet off the ground," she sighed, crawling over him to reach the other side.

He chuckled, smacking her butt as she moved across.

"Hey!" she protested childishly, settling beside him just far enough for him to see her glare.

"You know you like it," he teased.

"So?" she replied with a smug smile.

With a hum, he turned to tenderly kiss her cheek.

"What's that for?" she asked.

"I can kiss you _and_ smack your butt if I want to," he replied, pulling her closer to tuck her head beneath his chin. Inhaling a deep breath, he held her more tightly. "I love you, Sakura."

Kissing his neck, she replied, "I love you more."

"Not possible."

"Yes, it is."

He tsked. "I love you more times infinity. So, there."

"I love you more times infinity _plus one_ ," she retorted.

"Then I love you more times infinity _plus two…_ " He sighed at a realization, and then added, "Oh, God. We've turned into one of _those_ couples."

"What?" she asked. "And I love you more times infinity times infinity."

"We're mushy. Next it's going to be pet names."

"But we already do that, too, Turtle-kun."

He started to flakily cry.

She smacked him lightly. "Will you hush!"

"I'm just kidding, Sakura," he sighed in amusement. "I don't mind that we're one of those disgusting mushy couples… though it makes me die a little inside."

"Kakashi!"

With another smack in response, he retaliated with tickles until she moved off the futon.

"I hate you," she muttered half-heartedly, looking cold as she wrapped her arms around her topless skin.

"Come here," he urged, tapping the bedding beside him. "Let's play nice."

Sinking into the bed again, she moved under the covers and into his welcoming arms. Lying in a comfortable silence, he wondered if he could really manage to fall back asleep just yet. He really didn't want to.

"Kakashi?" she asked.

"Hum?"

"Are you tired?"

Shrugging, he replied, "Not really, actually."

"Want some breakfast?"

"It's kind of early for that, isn't it?"

"Not really." She rolled from him to look at her phone. "It's almost four and I'm not tired... so let's just have a super early breakfast," she suggested happily.

He debated, wondering if they should really purposely deprive themselves of sleep, not that he really wanted to sleep just yet. "Well…"

Sitting up, she started to pull at his wrists. "Let's go, it'll be fun. Let's make pancakes."

He laughed at her eagerness. "Well, alright. If you really want to."

Once they were dressed, Kakashi followed her down the stairs. Sweeping an eye across the living room, it looked the same as it did when they moved in minus looking slightly barer.

Last night, he made sure to clean up everything he destroyed. Sakura was upset at first when she discovered the next morning that he did it all by himself, but felt like it was something he just really needed to do. It was his mess, he wanted to clean it. If anything, to at least help him to think.

He didn't feel as initially angry at the news of his uncle's treachery. Perhaps a bit numb when he thought about it, but it was livable. As much as he didn't want to admit, he was really glad she stayed home with him these past two days so far. Otherwise, he'd probably be drowning himself in what he'd call unnecessary self pity and sorrow. Part of him felt guilty, but the other half of his mind realized that this is exactly what love was. It's about being with someone in not just their best of days, but their worst of days. What she's even doing now in dragging him to the kitchen was to just help him take his mind off things.

But in the back of his mind with each passing day, he couldn't help but worry about Sakura continuing to live with him. There was a lot of ungrounded fear that'd she be hurt indirectly some way. Thinking about it last night while he cleaned, the idea if she should stay or go only made his heart feel heavier. He didn't want to ask that kind of question. He wasn't he sure why he was even thinking it.

A national spotlight on his life all but assured she'd be entangled in it as well once she stepped outside, but the uncertainty of it being a neutral or negative thing was what concerned him the most. They were already living together. What was the point of worrying about their relationship anymore? Her mother knew and so did nearly everyone else in town. His uncle was gone and no longer headed the company. He wasn't a threat anymore. What was there to be afraid of? Wasn't he just worrying for no reason?

As Sakura flashed him a smile, he figured that he really was just over worrying. When it came to her, it was easy to, he figured. As they stepped into the kitchen, he silently returned a comforting smile back. He appreciated her trying to make the best of everything these past few days.

"Oh, I wish we had some bananas," she complained, rummaging through the pantry.

"I have a banana," he remarked with a straight face, leaning nonchalantly against the counter.

She turned to him with a hardened stare, but a second later they both broke out in a light chuckle. She rolled her eyes. "Yes, you have a special type of banana, Kakashi."

With a lopsided grin, he moved to open the fridge. "There are still some blueberries left."

"Those will do. Can you get me one and half cups of flour?"

He bowed at her instructions. "Yes, master-chef."

Sticking her tongue out as he passed by her, they worked together in making some simple blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs. They ate mostly in silence at the small breakfast table in the kitchen. Neither of them seemed to mind the quiet, keeping to each other's thoughts for now. When Sakura was finished, a sleepy yawn left her mouth as she stretched.

"You should go back to bed," Kakashi said, tapping a chopstick on her plate.

"So should you," she chided, bantering her chopstick playfully like a sword against his.

"I think I'll just read for a little while and then head off to bed. You don't need to stay up, too, Sakura."

"I will just for little bit," she shrugged, collecting their dishes to rinse in the sink.

Kakashi scooted his chair back, following beside her to clean up. "If you want to, but I'm betting you won't last five minutes."

"Yes I will!" she defended. "Besides, it's been forever since I've stayed up really late. I'll probably never get to do it again for a long time after I start medical school... unless I'm studying."

He chuckled. "Well, that's probably true."

"Why don't we watch the sunset in about an hour?" she suggested. "Then I'll probably go to sleep afterwards."

Scratching his chin in thought, he shook his head. "That'd be nice… but it's better to stay inside for a while. At least until the news dies down."

Down-turning the edge of her lips briefly, she asked, "Why?"

"There have been more reporters outside since yesterday and it's just going to get worse. I don't care to have anyone take pictures of us when it should be private."

"But we'd be out in the back porch?"

"Long range lenses…"

With a raised brow, she asked, "You really think someone would be out there in the back?"

"I know I sound paranoid," he sighed, scrubbing the plate in his hands thoroughly before glancing at the question lingering in her eyes. "But I'd rather not have personal photographs of us floating around like that. It's no one's business... and right now I'm sure they're desperate to get any shots since I haven't left the house yet, so I wouldn't be surprised."

"Are you worried about what you told me before a long time ago? When we first got together?"

Trying to recollect what he said, he asked, "About…?"

"People using our relationship as something negative because of your family."

"Oh, well… I am worried about that, yes. More so because of my uncle when he was alive, but regardless, it's been on my mind a lot as well."

"Don't," she stated firmly. "That's the last thing you should be thinking about right now."

"I can't help but worry though. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Remember what I said?" she pressed, leaning into him with her arm.

He hummed. "Well…"

"I said that I didn't care what people thought. As long as we're together, I'll be fine. What's going on in the news isn't about us, so I think we'll be okay. People might see us together in pictures and think our age difference is weird, but people already do that when we walk in a street together, so who cares? I know I don't."

With a soft smile, he took her hand into his and squeezed. "I know, you're right, Sakura."

"So don't worry about me, Kakashi. I'll be fine," she assured.

Nodding, he added, "When we get home to Tokyo, depending how things settle down, the house there is a bit more private than this one since there's a fence. I'm not saying we can't go out anymore, just not for a few weeks. It's not forever."

"That's fine," she agreed. "I'm not really worried about that, but I just want you to be comfortable at home, too, you know?"

"You're here with me, Sakura. That's all I need right now."

Nudging her shoulder against his with a tender smile, they continued to finish the rest of the dishes together before going into the living room. After grabbing a book he had left on the side table, he plopped down on the couch and began to read after Sakura curled up beside him.

Reading usually helped him fall asleep unless it was a new story he hadn't heard before. It was one of the reasons why he liked reading Icha Icha over and over again. As a kid, he found a lot of comfort in books in place of the lack of relationships he had growing up. It was a nice distraction from reality sometimes.

However, finding that he couldn't get past even a paragraph so far to help with the sleep part, he sighed and folded the book across his thigh. Twirling a few of Sakura's pink strands that fanned across his chest, he contemplated what to do.

"Change your mind about reading?" she asked, looking up to him with curious eyes.

"I don't even feel like reading Icha Icha," he sighed. "Which means the world is coming to an end."

Humming in thought, she softly asked, "Want to talk about your dream instead?"

"Well…"

"You don't have to, but I really do think it would help. I won't even say anything, I'll just listen. Just talk for awhile… tell me what's on your mind."

Leaning back, he took in a deep breath and stared towards the spinning ceiling fan. Maybe it was time for him to start letting go in a different way instead of in silence or constantly distracting himself. There was no way he could ever forget the past, but he didn't want it to consume him anymore. Trying to suppress his memories of growing up only band-aided the problem into his adulthood.

"When I was eight…" he started to say, continuing to twirl his finger around the ends of her hair almost nervously. "When I was eight I woke up in the middle of the night…"

Sakura stayed still, keeping to her word to just listen, but cried silently against his chest the further he continued his story. She understood how hard it was for him to share and felt so thankful that he was telling her something so personal. To her, it was like piecing together the anger he had from before, finally getting grasp of the details she didn't know about his past.

She wanted to be supportive, but most of all, to just understand and be there for him in any way possible. She couldn't make things go away. It wasn't something that could be fixed in a single night. Life didn't work that way, but talking about it was something she figured he never allowed himself to do before with someone. It was a small first step to heal. Whenever she was sad, Ino was her friend to turn to. No matter how trivial or serious it was, it always helped.

Absentmindedly stroking the shirt he wore as he spoke, they stayed awake until well after the sun decided to spread orange light into the room. When he fell silent, as much as she struggled against her heavy eyes, she started to drift asleep.

Feeling her body lift into the air, she woke up again being carried up the stairs in his arms.

"Thank you," she murmured against his shoulder. "For telling me."

The warmth of his voice hummed against her ear, but she was too tired to make out what he had said. Once she was gently lowered into the bed, she sleepily extended her arms to him to lie beside her.

Feeling relief when he crawled next to her, she closed her eyes and hugged him tightly until a most welcoming sleep claimed them both.

* * *

Peering through the blinds with a single finger, Kakashi snapped them back together with a sigh. It had been a week since news had first broke out. Since then, he hadn't stepped one foot outside or looked at any news sources.

It started out with only a few journalists at first, but it didn't take long before media began to swarm around the property, ultimately making him feel like a prisoner inside his own home. Today wasn't any different, although he silently wished it to be.

He had a lot to think about in the past week, but he wasn't alone. Sakura remained at his side and wouldn't budge on her decision to stay. He was surprised how different he felt after he talked about some of his most guarded memories, realizing some things he never had before. It helped a lot, and he felt forever grateful for Sakura's patience and understanding throughout the week. Some days he wanted to be alone to his thoughts, but she understood. It's all he could ever ask for in her support.

"Do you have everything?" Sakura questioned, sneaking her arms around him.

Feeling his pockets, he said, "Let's see… Keys? Check. Wallet? Check." Turning around, he lightly touched the top of her hair and added, "Sakura? Check."

"Har-har," she mumbled, batting his hand away to readjust her pink locks. Glancing towards the blinds, she asked, "Are you still sure you want to go? Tsunade-sama said you could take as long as you needed."

"I know, but a little normalcy will do me some good right now. I enjoy teaching… and I don't want to give up doing what I love just because of something like this. Hiding inside isn't going to help and I know in time things will die down. You're here, and you make me stronger for it. Everything will be okay," he warmly stated.

"Okay," she replied, kissing against his masked lips.

After gathering their bags, Kakashi made one last sigh before opening the door, mentally preparing himself for what he was to find on the other side. With a reassuring hand against his, he repeated to himself that everything was going to be fine. He didn't need to answer to anyone.

Catching sight of them exiting the house, paparazzi began to scurry towards them across the lawn.

"Hatake-sama! Hatake-sama! A word, please on-"

The sentence was cut off as he shut the car door, feeling grateful he was parked close to the house to avoid commenting all together. Unable to avoid the buzz of flashes around them outside the windows, he sighed when he adjusted the rearview mirror at how a few of them were purposely blocking the back.

Looking to Sakura, she slumped into her seat looking uncomfortable trying to pretend there weren't people tapping against the glass, asking her what their relationship was. Feeling a small pang of guilt at having to put her through this, he hoped to make it up to her when they returned home.

But when she turned to Kakashi, she immediately eased the crease of her worried brow and smiled. "I think we should play a game."

"And what would that be?" he asked, intrigued.

"How many you can hit with your car," she murmured dryly.

With a laugh, he changed gears and replied, "I like that idea."

"Five points per hit," she egged on.

Chuckling, he really wished he could consider the idea as he carefully backed up into the street. It was taking forever for the people surrounding them to voluntarily move out of the way, but he tried to keep his patience. He was going to need it for as long as this carried on in the weeks to come.

When they were on the clear road and well on their way, he made a relieved sigh.

"That wasn't so bad," Sakura decided. "I can get used to that."

"Just remember what I said before. You don't have to talk to anyone about me or yourself. If anyone bothers you, you tell me about, okay?"

Nodding, she said, "Don't worry."

Turning on the radio, the atmosphere from before seemed almost surreal as a song jogged Sakura's memory back to their first date. Everything felt the same as it did then, except now she was completely in love with man beside her. A goofy grin spread across her face at remembering how nervous she felt the very first time they were together.

Seeing that he was raising a brow at her, she snapped from her giddy thoughts. "What?"

"Oh, you have that look in your eyes that you're either thinking about Icha Icha or my butt. Am I right?"

"Jerk," she glared.

"Ah, so I'm right," he assumed.

"No! I was thinking about when we first got together…"

Smiling, he said, "I think next month we'll be officially together for a year, right?"

"You actually keep track of that?" she asked, surprised. "I didn't think guys cared about that stuff."

"Well, you're kind of my first long term relationship, Sakura. Kind of hard to forget," he lightly scoffed. "We should do something special. Maybe another trip?"

"Oh," she said with delight at that prospect. "Before the semester starts?"

"Sounds like a plan. Any idea where you'd want to go?"

"Anywhere, as long as we're together," she smiled.

"Alright," he hummed, feeling a bit lighter in his heart at having something to look forward to.

Leaving Japan would be most welcomed by the time this month was over. By then, he hoped the media would have died down considerably. Being out of the country would guarantee they wouldn't be bothered as well. With that in mind, he felt reassured once more that he could get through this. Just take it one day at a time.

Driving up to the edge of the community college, he pulled down his mask and leaned in to give a kiss. "I'll see you a bit later," he whispered.

"Okay," she mouthed against his lips. Edging back, she helped pull up his mask again and grinned. "If you need me or anything today… I'm just a text away."

"I'll do that." He nodded. "Love you, Sakura."

"Love you, too." She beamed. "Times infinity," she quickly added, slamming the door behind so that he couldn't retort. He glared at her through the window as she waved goodbye before turning to leave.

Driving away, he sighed again at wishing he could stay with her the whole day, but he needed to get back to piecing his life together like it was before. He also missed teaching. Without it, he didn't have anything positive to give back towards something that helped him get where he was today. It seemed silly almost to think how much stability he felt going to school did for him as a kid, but at the time it was all he had.

The good feelings he had sunk when he pulled into the high school parking lot. There was media _everywhere_. At least ten times more people compared to outside his home this morning. Obviously, someone had tipped them off he was returning to work today.

"Awesome," he muttered sarcastically as people began to already approach the car.

After parking, he slowly assembled his stuff from the back seat and took a deep breath. He just needed to get to the front door of the school. He could manage a couple of feet, couldn't he?

"It'll be fine," he kept telling himself. He had done this in the past. He could do it again.

Opening the car door, he tried not to flinch at the blinding lights flashing around him. For a split second, his memory defaulted to where he was over two decades ago. At the time when he wanted to be utterly alone from the loss of his parents, but couldn't.

"Hatake-sama, can you comment on your inheritance to overtake the H&H Corporation?"

Someone else shouted, "Are you surprised that the shareholders are behind your nomination to take over the company?"

He faltered a step, sparking a shutter of flashes as he gripped his bag more tightly at what he just heard. "What?"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone had a nice Halloween! Cookies to those who dressed up as anyone from Naruto series. (especially Kakashi or Sakura!) ^_^
> 
> I enjoy writing, but I sometimes get that creator curse where I feel blah about my stuff. I know I still have a lot to learn. Thank you all for the encouraging comments on this story, appreciate you reading!
> 
> Until next update~
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	41. I'm Okay

**Chapter 41: I'm Okay**

 

_He faltered a step, sparking a shutter of flashes as he gripped his bag more tightly at what he just heard. "What?"_

Arms clutching microphones immediately shot towards his masked mouth. With a vacant look in his eyes at the barrage of cameras inching ever so closer, he glanced around as if someone would explain the meaning of this nonsense about him taking over the company.

The more he remained silent, the more the reporters pressed the same questions over and over again like a broken record. Was he going to take over the H&H Corporation? How did he feel about finding out the truth behind his parents' deaths? Was he ever close to his uncle?

"No comment," Kakashi grudgingly spoke.

Using his bag as a shield, he gently pushed the sea of reporters aside as he trudged through the parking lot towards the side entrance of the school.

Before he opened the heavy metal door to step inside, he could see a glaring Tsunade staring him down through the window like she was trying to set him on fire with her eyes. From the scowling look on her face, he wondered if he was better off taking his chances outside with the reporters.

Feeling a camera bump into his back, it was enough of a mental and physical push to go inside.

"My office," Tsunade grumbled with a sour expression, grabbing him hastily by the sleeve of his shirt to force him to walk beside her.

He was surprised at how many students were inside the hall already before the first bell. Most of which were staring at he and Tsunade, while the rest were gawking at the spectacle of cameras outside from the windows.

"Am I in trouble?" Kakashi asked dryly, feeling like she was pulling him along like some juvenile.

"Don't speak," she shot back.

He sighed, wondering if she knew how much of a talent she had in making him feel so small with such few words.

Buzzing through the office lobby in a rush, he barely had any time to wave a meek hello to the secretary, a raven-haired woman who was one of Tsunade's longtime friends, Shizune.

She acknowledged him with the briefest smile before continuing to speak with a few students who were standing in line. It was an understatement to say that she looked busy. Between talking and typing furiously at her desk, a phone was also propped up against her ear with her shoulder. Poor woman never seemed to ever get a break every time he saw her at school.

Once they were inside the principal's office, Tsunade unclenched her fingers from his sleeve to slam the door behind them.

"God damn it, Hatake. Why in the hell are you here right now? I told you to stay home for at least another week," the blonde woman fumed. The sharp click of her heels circled around him before she decided to sit in her leather office chair.

"I recall you simply _suggesting_ it when we spoke," he replied calmly, reluctantly taking a seat in front of her after propping his bag against the chair. "Besides, Sakura told me you said I could take as long as I needed. I told you I'd probably come back after a week. It's now a week…"

"I know," she huffed, tapping her crimson fingernails angrily against the glass table top with a loud peck. "But you sure did pick a bad morning to come back. The school had some reporters sniffing around these past few days, but not nearly as many as it is now. We had to usher the students inside early because of it."

She sighed, pulling out a drawer from her desk as she continued, "Not only have I been dealing with phone calls about you for the entire week, but the whole announcement this morning of you taking over your family's company made me disconnect the phone, Hatake. I can't believe you didn't warn me about this ahead of time to prepare. I have no idea why you're even here in light of it. I appreciate not having added headaches first thing in the morning."

"…I honestly don't know anything about that. I haven't seen the news today… and I certainly wasn't aware of any of this beforehand," he replied with a shrug, watching her pull out an unmarked metal flask from her desk.

Unscrewing the cap, she poured some of its liquid contents into her steaming coffee mug that was sitting on her desk.

He opened his mouth to comment that it might be a little too early to start drinking already, but an icy glare was enough for him to keep his mouth shut.

Taking a careful gulp of her hot drink, she visibly seemed slightly less as agitated from before. Placing her mug back down with a clink on her desk, she intertwined her fingers together and leaned her chin against her hands.

With a deep hum, she asked, "So, you had no idea you were getting the position in your family's company?"

"No. I'm rather confused why, actually. A reporter outside mentioned something about an inheritance which… that can't be right. I've also never had anything to do with the company or my family since I was a kid, much less any experience in running a corporation, so it makes no sense why I would be nominated."

"No, the news said that your uncle passed down his titled position to you in his will."

"Seriously?"

Kakashi sighed, absolutely bewildered by this. Why in the hell was he a part of his uncle's will in the first place? The man despised him for as long as he could remember. It was no wonder why there was such a sudden influx of media. The future of the company had been suddenly tossed into his hands without his knowledge, a company that had deep connections into Japan's economy. It was a big deal in a lot of ways.

She nodded in confirmation. "Yeah, I'm assuming they didn't release that information publicly until it was officially acknowledged. I'm surprised you weren't aware of this until now. You should have been notified. No one's contacted you about it?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I don't get any mail here since I'm staying for just the summer. I might have something back at home in Tokyo perhaps," he randomly guessed.

Between their silences, Kakashi's mind kept contemplating on the fact that his uncle purposely wanted to pass the corporation to him. It made no damn sense. Why not give it to someone else who was more qualified or even cared? Was this supposed to be his way of saying he was sorry for murdering his parents out of greed? A sorry for abusing him all those years behind closed doors?

What a laughable notion.

His uncle wasn't capable of feeling guilt or shame, much less feel one ounce of regret for anything that he did. He was the type of person who would never admit he was wrong about anything.

Pouring a bit more of the flask's contents into her coffee, Tsunade grumbled, "I can't say I was prepared for the media circus outside today."

"I'm sorry, Tsunade-sama… I realize it's a hassle for you... and everyone else," he mumbled regretfully.

He really didn't think it would have been this much of a big deal in just trying to get back to teaching again. He expected reporters, but not media frenzy. It really wasn't just his life that was being inconvenienced; it was dealing with everyone and anyone whom he had connections with.

With another sigh, Tsunade rubbed her temples. "It's not your fault, no need to be sorry," she said softly. "I can deal with it. It's not like the school has never been in the press before. The police are on their way to set up a perimeter soon. But, seriously, Kakashi... are you sure you're okay in coming back here so soon? Especially since you didn't know what was going on until now. It might be in your best interest if you consider staying home for another week or two."

Thinking for a moment, he wondered if he really should just go home, but what exactly would that accomplish? What would he do all day that was productive enough to keep his mind off everything? He wanted to try and get things back to normal again, but really… wasn't he just kidding himself? His presence here was certainly not making Tsunade's job any easier. He felt bad enough as it was for Sakura's sake in having to deal with being surrounded by press. Now he was dragging down the all the people he worked with as well.

"Kakashi," she spoke up, seeing that he was having a hard time quietly debating to himself about her proposal. "You're more than welcome to stay. I'm asking as a friend, not as your superior. Are you okay? Don't push yourself to come back to work."

"I'm as fine as I can be, considering everything," he weakly tried to assure, inwardly trying not to be miffed at the question. "Sakura's done a lot for me this past week. I don't think I would have ever been as okay without her."

"I'm glad to hear that. She really is a sweet young woman with a big heart. You both better continue to take good care of each other, Hatake," she said with a small smile of her red lips. "So, you're really sure about officially coming back?"

He hummed, lazily slumping back in his chair as he drummed his fingers quietly on his knee, staring at the still slightly sore stitches of his other hand. He contemplated what he wanted to do. Not what was easiest, but what he _wanted_. He hated how much trouble he was causing everyone, but deep down he knew how much he desired to be back here, for a different reason.

Home was empty. It was a reminder of how alone he was before Sakura had come into his life. He knew she was there for him in every sense of the word, but that wasn't the issue he had. It was more so a childish fear.

It was just being physically alone that was difficult right now. Even though in the past week he asked her to leave the room to just think by himself quietly, it was comforting to know she was just only on the other side of the wall.

His dreams, his memories… lately they triggered even the smallest things to feel so much more magnified. He had never really ever felt this bothered about the idea of being alone. He was used to it, after all. But being isolated in an empty house right now would just keep reminding of how things used to be, of memories that he desperately wanted to put behind him.

Growing up, he had spent most of his time alone. Back then, he never had another soul to talk to, even when his uncle's mansion he lived in was filled with parties or staff. He was invisible. Distracting himself was something he learned to be good at. Reading was one of those acquired hobbies in trying to forget the world around him, but it could only do so much. It could never really drown out the silence in a room which felt almost deafening.

Although he knew how much Sakura wanted to be by his side at home, he couldn't let her keep doing that. A week was a long enough time in his mind to lounge around the house and feel sorry for himself. She needed to go back to school, and he needed to start letting go. They both needed to get back into the motions of everyday life to move on.

In time, he knew things would get easier. He just wished he could fast forward the entire month to speed the process along. There was a point where he had accepted the death of his parents, but this ordeal just couldn't hide the truth of how he's really felt this entire time.

They were still gone, and it still hurt.

He knew it was always going to hurt. Rehashing the old wounds of loss made it even more so. Now his heart was always probably going to feel a bit heavier with the added weight of his uncle's deception. It felt like another scar along his skin by the malicious man, except this time you couldn't see it. It was far deeper than that.

With a heavy sigh, he scratched the edge of his brow before leaning against the armrest of his chair. "I'm not thrilled about all that's happening lately, but I don't want it to stop my day to day life completely. I still want to teach. It's one of the few things I have left that I enjoy doing. I'm sure it will help keep my mind off things and that's what I really need right now," he decided.

"But…" he added in a low voice, his mind still at thought. "If it's going to cause problems for me being here with so much press and all that, then perhaps I shouldn't."

"Don't worry about anyone else," she dismissed sharply. "Tomorrow won't be like today once we establish boundaries. As long as you can keep doing your job properly as teacher, then I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be here. It's a bit unfair having to change your plans around because of your family and the media."

"Are you absolutely sure, Tsunade? Wouldn't it be in the best interest of the school if I took leave early?"

"Not really. No matter if you stay or go, we'll still get journalists out here asking about you." She sighed, taking another sip of her coffee. "So, do you really have no intention on taking the position? It's quite the opportunity."

"None whatsoever," he replied. "I'll contact whoever I need to get it settled. Press will die down considerably after that."

"Hopefully that will be the case," she agreed, looking a bit relieved. "You may only be working with us for a month longer before you head back to Tokyo, but it's always good to have you here."

Kakashi formed a small smile of appreciation at her kind words. "Tha-"

The bell suddenly interrupted, startling Tsunade in her seat.

"Agh, is it that late already?" she sighed, standing up from her desk. "Okay, get to your classes. Your substitute teacher will catch you up to speed. If you need anything, just let me know, okay? I mean it."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama," he replied sincerely, quickly gathering his things before getting up to leave with a polite gesture of a bow.

Stepping out of the office, he soon strolled into the bustling hallway towards his first class of the day. The curious glances from the students he passed weren't exactly anything new, but obviously lingered a little more than usual. He tried not to pay much mind to it, reminding himself how this wasn't anything new.

"Hey, Kakashiii!"

He stopped, screeching his shoe against the glossy tiled floor. He knew that voice all too well as a rough hand patted his back a bit too excitedly. Guy made a bright smile when he turned to greet him.

Wiggling his fingers once in the air, Kakashi said, "Yo."

"Good to have you back so soon," Guy said frankly.

"Ah, thank you," he replied.

"I'm sure this week has been tough for you, old friend. Are you doing… okay?"

With a small eye-crinkle of a smile, he simply nodded in response as they began to walk along the hallway together.

It was adamantly one of the most annoying questions he had grown to hate as a kid. After the death of his parents, it was always the same question that was asked over and over again: was he okay?

And he always thought how could he be okay?

He was devastated at the time, heartbroken. He was so many words to describe anything and everything, but okay. Then as days passed to weeks and weeks to months, he became to feel numb at one point, automatically responding with 'I'm doing fine,' just to null the question without thought, to null the pain.

Guy was a friend, and he knew he cared. Everyone did in one way or another. As an adult, he understood that people would ask it to express a form of sympathy. It's just that all question did each time was remind him of his loss. That his parents were still forever gone. That his uncle was the one who put them in the ground.

But when he made the expected response of, yes, he was okay, it always felt like such a lie every time. Lies to make others feel more comfortable around him instead of admitting that he really wasn't. No one really wanted the truth, anyway. People in general didn't know how to react if they've never been in the same situation. That's why people usually were afraid to speak to you, unless you tell them that you're okay.

Sweeping a look across everyone's eyes who passed by, they all had that same uneasy impression on their face of not knowing to what to say. He knew it was normal. It was nothing to feel disheartened by.

Right now, he figured he needed to focus back on work and let the things outside of it take a much needed step back. In the end, he figured things really would be okay as long as he took it one day at a time. He just wished it was easier.

* * *

Sakura felt like a true ditz as she left her classroom, realizing a bit too late when she held out her phone that she had told Kakashi this morning that she was only a text away, but only now did she remember his phone was still out of commission. Sighing, she placed her phone right back in her bag.

She had forgotten.

Perhaps in many ways, she wanted to forget that night as much as he did. She couldn't really wish for such a thing though. Life wasn't always filled with happy moments. It was also about supporting each other through the bad. Besides, she was a strong believer that in hard times, good things will always follow. No matter how long it might take, there was always something positive to look forward to. It just took a little patience.

Sighing again to herself, she wondered if he was doing okay on the first day back since his small break. She wanted to message him something encouraging, but that idea had flown out of the window now. Hopefully he knew how much she wished she could be with him right now.

It really was amazing how much could change in a blink of an eye. There was certainly no doubt how the past week was rough on them both, especially the first few nights. She couldn't remember the last time she ever felt so depressed. Never had she experienced watching someone you love become so broken, and just feeling so helpless to do something. That was the worst feeling of all: feeling helpless.

It was strange to admit how much her mother helped her through some of those nights when Kakashi just wanted to be utterly alone. She always obliged without any questions, figuring that of course he wanted the space, but for a lot of reasons it terrified her leaving him alone. She didn't want him to be by himself, and she couldn't help but think she must have done or said something wrong. Why didn't he want her support? It made her feel so useless. That she wasn't trying hard enough or she wasn't doing it right in being there for him.

Talking with her mother on the phone about it helped her see things in another way, that she was doing more to help him than she fully realized. From her own mother's experience in dealing with depression and loss, her mother's words of wisdom put her heart at ease. It was then she actually felt thankful for having a mother. She wasn't perfect, and at times made her so angry she could hardly see straight, but she cared.

Exiting the academic building, Sakura walked into the warm morning air, thankful that it wasn't pouring today due to the rainy season, but thought she could certainly do without the dreary overcast sky.

"S-Sakura-chan!" a faint voice called out.

Glancing up, she saw Hinata waving politely at first before approaching. She felt rather lucky in having a familiar face here at the community college; otherwise she might have spent most of her time in the library to pass time between classes. They had different schedules, but always tried to have lunch together when they could or study together.

"Hey, Hinata, how are you?" she asked with a warm smile.

"Oh, I'm… I'm good!" she replied self-consciously, falling in step with Sakura along the sidewalk. "You, Sakura-chan? I know you've been gone for this past week… I was worried."

"I'm doing just fine," she said with a shrug, still smiling.

"I'm sorry to hear about Kakashi-sensei's parents… Is he doing okay?"

"Well," she sighed, looking towards the ground wondering how much she should really say. "He's been a little down, but doing much better today."

With a knowing nod, she said, "Oh, from the news? I'm glad he's happy about it."

Sakura raised a brow, wondering what she meant by that. "Uh, well, no… Of course he's not happy about the news…"

Confused, Hinata went on, "But he's the rightful heir to his family's company? He deserves it."

"Uh… I'm not sure what you're talking about."

"He's taking over the H&H Company in Osaka, isn't he? That's what was announced today. Are you moving with him to Osaka? I was so looking forward to seeing you with Naruto-kun at the university when I moved to Tokyo this fall."

"Huh? Not that I'm aware of… you said it was announced today?" She blinked. "...And no, no one's moving anywhere. We're both going back to Tokyo next semester."

"Oh… I'm s-sorry," she apologized profusely with a blush. "I must have heard wrong. I-I'm so happy you're still going then," she smiled happily.

"Yeah… oh, I need to head this way. Catch you later today, okay?" Sakura said with a departing wave.

"Sure! See you!" Hinata waved back, continuing to walk onward as Sakura went down a different path.

Scrambling her phone out of the zipped pocket of her bag, she quickly typed in a few keywords to search on her mobile browser. Her heart dropped when the first thing she saw was a picture of Kakashi in front of the high school. Hinata had been more or less right, she learned; the company was being passed down to him by his uncle. _His uncle?_ She was pretty surprised at that part, reading the sentence three times just to be sure she wasn't hallucinating.

Did that mean he was going to take it over? Her heart began to beat a little faster, but then remembered she knew he wanted nothing to do with it. They couldn't force him to accept it. Her panic subsided when she realized he could simply pass the position to someone else, just like any other thing if you were given an inheritance.

Nearly running into someone from not looking where she was going, she decided it would be best if she put her phone away for now. Now she was beginning to feel a little antsy from having no immediate way to contact him. Was he dealing with this okay? She thought all the reporters were still here for him to comment on his uncle. Now he had to deal with this, too? He didn't need any more stress. Why couldn't they just give him a break already? She wished she could do or say something to him instead of waiting until he picked her up today.

She sighed, figuring she should at least be thankful that she would see him later. She just wished it was sooner rather than later.

* * *

Kakashi's mood instantly uplifted when he saw Sakura standing along the curb in front of one of the many campus buildings. Orange light glowed through the ends of her pink strands as the sunset was beginning to slowly dip behind the horizon. She was always so beautiful, he thought tenderly.

His long day was initially a big challenge at first, feeling uneasy around people with questions and words of sympathy, but became considerably better as the day went on once he got back into the swing of things. Never did he feel gladder to have stacks of paperwork to focus on. In martial arts class, he made little room for discussion between training sessions.

The barrier Tsunade set to back up anyone who wasn't officially affiliated with the school district was restricted outside the property, giving out warnings to any media who crossed the line with a reason of causing disruption to the classes. It helped him feel much better about his decision to go back to work.

When Sakura slipped inside the car, she immediately leaned over from her seat to give him a most welcomed hug.

Kissing his cheek, she whispered softly into his ear, "Missed you."

"And I of course missed you, too," he replied, embracing her a little tighter before letting go.

Sakura sighed as she buckled herself in her seat. "I heard about what happened…"

"Yeah," he said somberly, shifting the car first before pulling back out into traffic. "Not sure what to think about the whole thing."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm just going to make some calls tomorrow during my break. Make sure they know I have no intention of taking it, and have them mail me at the school whatever papers I need to sign to get it done. Sooner it's dealt with, sooner things will settle down."

"I hope it gets cleared up soon, too. How was everything today?" she asked with concern. "Was it hard?"

"A little," he admitted. "But I think it turned out positive enough at the end of the day."

"Glad to hear it," she smiled with an easy sigh, settling more comfortably into her seat. "I really wanted to text you… I had completely forgotten you've been without a phone. I feel silly telling you to text me this morning."

He chuckled. "It's okay. I didn't want to say anything, but I knew what you meant. That you're there for me."

She smiled. "So, when are you getting a new cell phone? I'd feel a lot a better at school knowing I can get in contact with you."

Glancing at the clock on the dashboard, he hummed. "Well, why don't we go by a store now? Otherwise, I'll probably keep putting it off, and I think I'd feel better, too."

"Sure, let's do that," she agreed.

Changing directions towards the main shopping district, he took a quiet deep breath, enjoying how relaxed he felt right now compared to earlier. He had no doubt being with Sakura was helping him feel that way. Dealing with people all at once in one day rather put him on edge.

"Oh," he said aloud at remembering. "Did anyone bother you today because of me? Reporters or anything?"

"Nope," she answered, shaking her head. "No one really acted any differently around me that I'm aware of. I mean, some knew that we're together and asked out of polite concern, but it was just a normal day."

"That makes me feel better then," he said. "I'm glad all that nonsense this morning with the reporters didn't follow you back at school like it did with me."

"Well, I wish you didn't have to go through that," she mumbled sadly, picking at the hem of her shirt. "It's not fair."

"Such is life," he sighed with a thin smile.

Once they were in the shopping district, he drove through a few streets before finding a store specializing in phones. Joining the long row of parked cars from the main street, he looked around feeling thankful that media only seemed to camp out at the school and at home. He wasn't that much of a celebrity yet and hoped it stayed that way until he was officially out of the news. He wasn't sure how he felt being followed around like he used to be as a kid. It was one memory he certainly didn't want to relive again. He wanted to feel like any normal person for at least a brief moment and not be bothered.

Taking Sakura's hand once they were outside, they went inside the store, chirping the bell to alarm their entrance. The staff visibly did a double take at his presence, but quickly tried to not pay any mind as he went to one of walls of selected phones for sale.

Sakura gasped in delight, picking up a phone with an alarming shade of pink. Once he saw the glittery decal decorating the outside, he tried really hard not to roll his eyes.

"Oh, look! This one has a Hello Kitty themed cover." She raised it up to his face, as if gauging how he'd look using such a thing. "It's perfect for you," she teased.

"Maybe if I was a thirteen year-old girl," he dryly replied, shooing the device away.

"Hey, I like Hello Kitty! And I'm not thirteen," she pouted, looking offended.

"Questionable right now," he muttered as an inaudible whisper, making her glare in his direction.

An apprehensive staff member came up to them, offering help or to answer any questions they might have, but Kakashi quickly dismissed them to just browse for now.

"I think just replacing the same model I had before might be fine," he pondered aloud.

"How boring," she playfully commented.

"I really don't use it much except to stalk you," he shrugged.

"And read Icha Icha fanfiction," she added casually, trailing her fingers lightly against the row of phones as she explored.

He transfixed his eyes on her, shocked. "How did you know?"

She made a surprised laugh, looking back towards him over her shoulder. "I was just joking…"

"…"

"You really do, don't you?" she asked with raised brows.

"…No."

He quickly turned the other way, looking to be suddenly preoccupied with a certain phone model. Sakura was soon behind him with a grin, slipping her arms around him into a hug.

"I think I'll just get this one. I feel drawn to it for some reason," he decided.

Her smile fell when she peered at the phone. "That's the same model you had except in the color silver," she sighed.

"Is it?" he mused, pretending he had no idea.

"Hopeless," she muttered humorously, releasing him from her arms as he went to the counter to see if they had any in stock to make the purchase.

After everything was settled and setup for his replacement phone, they exited the store, debating between one another of what to have for dinner tonight. Kakashi groaned in annoyance when a flash blinked in his face after barely stepping one foot outside. His hope of being left alone in the general public for a few minutes from the media was clearly a pointless dream.

Sakura was flustered at first, unsure what to do until Kakashi pulled her a bit closer to move past some of the reporters that were blatantly snapping away beside them.

Besides the same irritating questions that were asked earlier in the day, they began to ask more questions aimed towards Sakura at his side.

"What's your name?" someone asked her.

"Who's your girlfriend?" another voice inquired.

She bit her lip, feeling strange trying to ignore someone who was barely a few inches away.

"Come on, sweetie," the cameraman urged.

Although she felt creeped out, she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty in not replying, pretending as if the person didn't exist. But she knew these weren't everyday strangers. They had no right to barge in on them in public like this and ask questions about them, especially when they were just trying to leave a store and go home.

"Back off," Kakashi threatened in an unamused tone, pushing a few photographers away so that he could lead Sakura to the passenger side of the car.

Inside the car now, she watched him circle around the front until he was finally safely inside as well.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, starting the engine with the twist of his keys.

"It's no big deal," she tried to dismiss, figuring he meant it was about the sudden appearance of reporters.

"I don't want you to have to deal with that."

Feeling that he seemed a bit upset, she went on to say, "Kakashi, it's really okay..."

He turned, locking onto her eyes. Flashes were glittering outside the windows, causing him to blink. He seemed so drained all of a sudden. "I just really hate the idea of how this might last for weeks… or months."

"It won't last forever," she encouraged, wanting to reach out to him, but fearing he might not want her to as they were being watched.

With a wordless nod in response, he slowly looked back towards the steering wheel. He seemed lost in thought at first before shaking his head. She wanted to ask what he was thinking, but hesitated. His face may have been hidden to gauge how he was really feeling, but it was hard to ignore the empty look in his eyes.

"Kakashi… are you okay?" she asked out of concern from how suddenly far away he seemed in his thoughts.

"I'm okay," he replied evenly.

Somehow, she couldn't bring herself to truly believe it.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry how long this took to get posted. I hate that doing that, but it's just really unavoidable sometimes. Better late than never? T_T
> 
> I have good news! and… kind of bad news.
> 
> Good news is that I'm finished with my other stories, so I can fully focus on Reason. That means I don't have to divide up my weeks between two things like a crazy person and constantly ask why I hate myself lol.
> 
> Bad news is that I have a huge freelance project due I need to finish hopefully before January. Gonna spend rest of my time this month working on it before holidays. My goal would be to finish it this week and there wouldn't be a problem, but I'm sure it's a long shot. So, just in case I don't here's a heads up that next update won't be until mid January… hopefully.
> 
> This is why I didn't want to end the chapter with a big cliffy. Spare you guys for the holidays, lol.
> 
> Also just want to say how much I really appreciate the encouraging comments. If you enjoy something, that makes it worth it for me. So it's always nice to know. ^_^
> 
> Ty for reading! I hope everyone has a great holiday and New Year.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	42. Don't Forget, I'm Here

**Chapter 42: Don't Forget, I'm Here**

 

Kakashi let out an irritable sigh before dropping his phone with a clunk on top of his desk. Slouching back, his chair squeaked lightly as he eyed the half-eaten remains of his lunch Sakura had insisted on packing for him today. He felt bad he couldn't finish it all like he normally would, especially since she made it just for him. He just didn't have the appetite anymore.

Dropping his head back, he draped his wrist across his eyes to block the muddy afternoon's gray light from his office window at the school. It took a few minutes to have his call forwarded through different corporate departments, but he had finally gotten in contact with someone at the H&H Company about his so-called inheritance. He was really hoping for a simple solution to dismiss the entire thing. Naturally, it wasn't.

He needed to personally travel down to Osaka this weekend if he wanted to officially forfeit the title. The papers he needed to have signed and notarized would have to be in person, as well as declining formally to the company's current board of trustees. Having to visit the company's headquarters was practically the last place on Earth he ever cared to step foot in again. There weren't very many memories there besides doing a lot of waiting around in a secluded office for his father to get off work. After his parents' death, he had never been back.

Sitting up in his chair, he smoothed out his wrinkled jacket and briefly rubbed his tired eyes. As much as he had tried to, he didn't get very much sleep last night. His mind was too restless from thinking about everything up to this point. Why did it seem like nothing was getting better with each passing day? It was more stagnate, if anything. Whatever issue he was working with may have gotten better, but was only replaced with something else to worry about. He hated it. It was like trying to get rid of spilled ink. The more he tried to remove it, the more it smudged and kept getting worse, leaving a stain that could never truly disappear.

At least now he finally had a direction to start putting an end to the media attention around him. Once he could publicly dismiss this nonsense of him taking over the company, the sooner he could start living his life again like before; not only for his own happiness, but for Sakura's sake as well. Yesterday made it pretty clear to him how much he really didn't want her to go through even a minute of it. It was awful to watch from afar, just as it was in person. He hated seeing her being pestered like that. It wasn't fair to her.

He knew exactly how it felt dealing with reporters every day for several years. It could really drain the life out of you, but he had to remind himself that the circumstances were different between them. No one was constantly following her around like he had been unless she was with him. It was the one thing he was thankful for, although at the same time it made him feel guilty for involving her just for simply being in his life.

Sighing, he started to slowly clean up his lunch from his desk as he pulled his mask back up. He hated this internal war going on in his mind, trying not to feel completely at fault for everything when he knew logically it wasn't. His uncle had played a role in making him feel that way growing up. That everything was his fault one way or another even if he didn't understand why. It just simply was. Like just his mere existence was enough of a reason.

He paused at that thought, balling the napkin he had just picked up into his palm. Fixating his eyes towards the window at nothing in particular, he couldn't purge the sudden heavy feeling weighing down inside his chest like a brick.

If you were told a lie enough times, it was easy to start believing it.

"Hey there… Kakashi-san," a hesitant voice called out with a light knock.

Snapping from his thoughts, he turned to find Iruka standing awkwardly in the doorway with a stack of files clutched at his chest.

"I'm sorry if it's a bad time… I was told you were on break right now and um… you weren't in the teacher's lounge, so I figured I'd find you here," Iruka murmured, looking a little regretful that he was possibly imposing.

"Oh, no it's not. I was just cleaning up actually," he replied, snatching the rest of the used napkins from his desk before tossing them in a trash bin beside him. Readjusting himself in his chair, he tried his best to form an eye-crinkle of a smile. "How did you escape from the junior high?" he asked with a slight humor in his voice.

"Tsunade-sama needed some reports from the office, so I figured I'd bring them by for her. I, uh, also just haven't gotten a chance to talk to you since you know… everything that's been going on lately."

Kakashi hummed, already preparing an answer at the tip of tongue if he asked if he was okay or offered a few words of sympathy like many others before.

"I'm sure you've heard it a lot already, but I just wanted you to know if you ever need anything, or want to talk to someone… I'm here, too, as a friend."

"Ah, I appreciate that," he replied, a bit surprised.

The brown-haired teacher smiled, looking a little relieved. "Sure, no problem. Anyway… I guess I'll start heading back."

About to reply with a simple goodbye, Kakashi hesitated at the last second. "Um…"

Iruka was probably one of the only other people that he felt he was closest to in his life. He had never told him or anyone else anything about his family like he did with Sakura, but he had known him as a friend for over a decade. His teaching career at the junior high was certainly tolerable because he had Iruka to bullshit around with like a brother in the teacher's break room and during agonizing school field trips. He was one of the first people he became friends with in this small town. Since he had moved away and met Sakura, he really hadn't made much time to just talk anymore like they used to.

"I still have about ten minutes left if you want to sit down for a bit before you go," he offered.

"Oh, sure." Stepping from the doorway, Iruka settled in one of the chairs across from Kakashi's desk. "So… how've you been holding up?"

"I think I'm slightly depressed," he admitted.

"Can't say I blame you…"

"I haven't read any Icha Icha in days."

"That's a bad sign," Iruka muttered half-jokingly, although deeply concerned on the inside.

"I kid. My addiction is still too strong to break just yet."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing," his friend teased.

"So, how have you been? How's your family?" Kakashi asked, hoping to shift the subject away from himself for now.

"Doing good, doing good. My oldest is going to start kindergarten soon," he beamed. "You know, it's been a while since you've come by the house to visit. Why don't you and Sakura come for dinner? Maybe tonight?"

"Ah, I hate to impose on you and your wife. You guys have invited me to more dinners than I can count."

"We're always happy to see you, Kakashi. It's no trouble. And she really wants to meet Sakura, actually."

"I see." He hummed.

"Think about it for now and see if Sakura would like to. Just let me know either way, okay?"

"Sounds good."

Pleased at that response, Iruka smiled before glancing at his watch. "Oh, shoot. I need to get back to campus before the next bell. Talk to you later then?"

"I'll let you know about dinner. Appreciate you coming by," Kakashi replied.

"No problem."

Watching him leave, Kakashi leaned back and wondered if he and Sakura should take up the dinner offer. He had no doubt everyone would get along just fine. He also had to admit it would be nice to avoid their media-surrounded house for a while.

* * *

  
  
Sakura smiled, playfully ducking her head under Kakashi's arm as he held the door open for her. The chime sounded their entrance inside the café, resulting in a few wayward looks in their direction, but they pretended everyone else didn't exist right now between the two of them.

Inhaling the rich scent of coffee beans in the air, she sighed as they approached the counter to order. "I think working at the shop back in Tokyo has made me addicted to coffee."

"I've been addicted all my life," Kakashi mused, adjusting the heavy strap of his bag against his shoulder as his eyes roamed over the menu.

"What can I get for you two today?" the barista asked behind the counter, glancing uneasily at Kakashi first before forcing a cheerful smile.

He took in a breath to answer.

"We'll have a medium black coffee and a white chocolate mocha, please," Sakura answered for them.

Pouting beneath his mask, he gave her a playful dirty look. "Maybe I wanted to order what you always make me."

"I'd never let another poor soul have to put up with that complicated order of yours, and don't pretend you don't always get plain black coffee."

"Hey, I add sugar to it," he defended, reaching into his back pocket to pay for their drinks.

Once their orders were ready, Kakashi led them to a booth that was in the far corner of the café. What he liked most about this local shop was the fact it was originally a house. There weren't very many windows, which he'd certainly rather have some privacy and avoid being seen from the streets right now.

Sliding in the cushioned seat beside her, he placed his bag on the floor and propped it against the wooden frame of the booth. Sakura began to unpack her own bag, shuffling a few papers across the table.

"I'm surprised you wanted to come here after picking me up today after class," she commented before taking a sip from her mug, smiling from being glad to simply be out somewhere with Kakashi.

"I really need some caffeine right now." He slouched back comfortably, taking a sip of his own drink. He also really needed a change of scenery. Iruka's invitation was sounding more appealing by the second the more he thought about it. Besides the irritating press that was scouting the property for their arrival and departures, the house was becoming stifling in more ways than one. After secluding himself there like a hermit for over a week now, he also just missed being out like this with Sakura.

"Yeah… didn't sleep well?" she asked sadly, already knowing the answer. A few times during the night she could feel the bedding repeatedly push and pull as he tried to find a comfortable position.

"Just kind of restless, I guess."

"Are more dreams keeping you up…?"

Feeling her legs beneath the table, he gently squeezed one of her knees in assurance. "Not lately. Really, I'm alright, Sakura. Hey… don't give me that look."

Averting her concerned eyes to the assignments that she had spread out before her, she hummed in response, wishing more than anything that he truly was alright, but deep down knew how anyone could feel after finding out what he did. He just needed time. No matter how long it took, she was going to be right beside him all the way trying to make the best of things. At that thought she offered him a small smile, leaning more snugly against him in the seat until her knees rested lightly against his.

"Anything I can help you with?" he asked, lifting a finger to drag one of her papers to inspect closer.

"Sure, if you like."

"Physics, hum?"

"Yeah, one of the boring lecture classes I have to take," she grumbled. "I don't care about how to find out the acceleration for a piece of string or measuring the friction of a box down a hill. Who in the hell pushes a box down a random hill in the first place?"

"All very important life skills questions."

"Lies."

He smiled, taking another sip of his coffee before beginning to study her answers. "I'll check over the few you completed so far."

"Thank you, Kakashi-kun," she said light-heartedly, inwardly happy to be working on schoolwork with him again like they normally would.

"Happy to, Sakura-chan."

With another smile, she began to write out a few equations to work out on scratch paper for some of the remaining questions she had left.

"So, um, before I forget… Iruka and his family wanted to invite us for dinner. Would you want to go?" he asked.

Slowing her writing, she hummed in thought. "Would it be weird if I went? I don't really know him too well."

"He's always been a good friend of mine. I think you'd get a long just fine with everyone. It's nothing huge, just dinner."

"Do _you_ really want to go?"

"Ah-ah. I asked you first," he playfully replied.

Sighing, she said, "Well, sure. Long as no one would mind me coming."

"They'd like you to. You were specifically invited as well."

"Oh, well if that's the case, then absolutely. Only if you're up for it though."

"Be a nice change from the norm... and um…"

"And avoiding the camped out press that's no doubt waiting for us again today back at home," she added, figuring that was his other ulterior motive in wanting to come somewhere quiet like the café shop today.

"That too." He grinned.

"When?"

"Tonight, if that's okay. I just need to call and let him know real quick."

Smiling, she said, "Sure."

Sakura paused from writing, watching him search for his phone in his bag before focusing on her formulas again. She really liked the idea of getting to know Kakashi's friends a little better. They might be older than she was, but it was no reason why she couldn't be friends with them, too. She had met most of them during the welcoming party nearly over a month ago, but didn't get the chance to really socialize with anyone in particular. Iruka also seemed like a close friend to Kakashi and an all around good person from her memories of him in junior high. It also said a lot for him to be openly accepting of their relationship and inviting them like this; especially since she knew he wasn't keen on it in the beginning.

"Sure, we'll come down around six," Kakashi murmured, cradling his cell phone against his shoulder as he looked over Sakura's paper. "We'll try not to be late."

"Ha," Sakura scoffed loudly.

Waving for her to quiet down, he sighed. "That was nothing. So, see you a bit later tonight. Alright, bye-bye."

Ending the call, he placed his phone on the table. "We'll be on time," he muttered in defense.

"You always say that, but we're usually late for one reason or another."

"It's hard to predict life."

Shaking her head, she scribbled a few more numbers down before Kakashi slid back one of the assignments she had completed in class. "How did I do on those?" she asked.

"Perfect."

"Seriously?" She raised a brow as she scanned it. Usually he could find something amiss, no matter how small. "You didn't look at it very long. Did you really check it?"

"No."

She started to glare.

He sighed. "I'm just teasing. Of course I did."

"Oh." She smiled in pride, collecting the paper to place it under the stack with a few others.

"Good job, Sakura-chan," he chuckled, twirling the spoon in his coffee as he added another packet of sugar. He pondered about working on grading a few papers he had stored away in his bag, but he didn't have to complete it until Monday. Remembering he was going to be gone this weekend, he went ahead and started to gather his own work on the table.

Glancing over Sakura's current happy mood, he decided he should just wait until after dinner tonight to tell her he was going to be gone. He had a feeling she wasn't going to be thrilled about his decision in not wanting to take her along, but he felt that it was for the best. It was only going to be for a day trip, if even, and he had a feeling the media was going to be ten times worse in the city. She didn't need to deal with that, too.

"What you thinking about?" Sakura asked softly, noticing how quiet he became all of a sudden. She gently tapped her knee against his.

"Just about how beautiful you are," he murmured, grazing a fingertip across her soft knuckles.

Smiling, she wiggled her fingers into his. "You're beautiful, too."

"You mean handsome," he corrected.

"Beautiful," she quickly replied back.

"Men are called _handsome_. Women are _beautiful_."

"But you're beautiful."

"…"

She laughed at his deadpanned expression, squeezing his hand one final time before letting go. Sighing inwardly, she wondered if he would ever tell her what was really on his mind. Maybe he just wasn't ready to, but would he ever? She trusted that he would when he was ready. All she could do for now was just give him time and be patient.

* * *

  
  
"Glad you two could make it. Only ten minutes late. I'm impressed, Hatake. Sakura's doing no doubt," Iruka said after greeting them, closing the door behind him after inviting them inside.

Sakura grinned in recognition, stepping alongside with Kakashi to slip off her shoes at the genkan. Looking up, a woman appeared in the hall with a toddler in her arms.

"Let me introduce you to everyone, Sakura-san," he said. "This is my wife, Sachi. Little guy in her arms is Nori. And…" He glanced around before sighing. "Don't be shy. Be polite and say hi to our guests. You remember, Kakashi-san, don't you?"

A girl with a long single French braid peered shyly from a sliding door that led into another room, gripping her small fingers around the edge of the door frame. "Hello," the small girl said timidly, quickly hiding again as she glanced at Sakura.

"That's Kumiko. She's a little shy at first."

With a bright smile, Sakura bowed politely. "Hello. Really nice to meet everyone."

"Very nice to meet you, too. Thank you both for coming," Sachi said warmly, sweeping her short fallen brunette hair back from her eyes as she studied Sakura.

"Thank you for inviting us," Kakashi said with a bow, stepping up from the genkan to ruffle Nori's fuzzy hair. "He's gotten so big."

"I think I'm feeding him too much," she laughed, hoisting him higher on her hip. "Growing up way too fast."

Iruka soon took his son into his arms. "Why don't we get settled in the dining room?" he suggested, leading the way as his wife excused herself ahead of everyone to get dishes ready to serve from the kitchen.

Kakashi halted mid-step as did Sakura behind him, curious at what he was doing. He turned to look around the corner of the entrance that led into the living room. "Where's Kumiko-chan?" he asked aloud, clearly seeing the top of her head behind the arm of the couch.

Hands in pockets, he slowly strolled into the room, acting completely oblivious. "I don't see her anywhere. Do you, Sakura-chan?"

She shook her head, playing along. "Nope. It's like she disappeared into thin air."

"How mysterious."

A tiny giggle erupted.

Sakura held back a laugh, instantly loving the child already. She watched in amusement as Kakashi gasped in discovering Kumiko at the end of the couch.

"What are you doing way back here?" he asked.

She largely shrugged, still hiding slightly from Sakura's view. Slipping his hands from his pockets, he knelt down to her eye level. "Kumiko, why don't you come out and say hi to Sakura-chan? She wants to be your friend, too."

"Okay," she said with a nod.

He easily picked her up to stand as Sakura carefully approached a little closer. She held out her hand as she knelt down slightly. "Let's be friends, Kumiko-chan."

Kumiko smiled a toothy grin, shaking Sakura's hand in a specific way as if she had practiced doing so many times before. "Your hair is really pretty."

"Oh, thank you. I really love your hair, too. Did your mommy braid it?"

"Yes," she said proudly, running her hands down her braid to flip it over her shoulder. "I love braids."

"Looks wonderful on you," she smiled.

"Thank you," she replied gleefully.

Her eyes brightened hearing her name being called from the dining room. She wasted no time running into the hall towards her mother's voice.

Standing up, Sakura smiled as she watched her leave. "She's so sweet."

"Prepare yourself. She's probably going to talk your ear off now," Kakashi mused.

"I don't mind," she hummed with a small smile, appreciating what he did to make Kumiko less shy around her.

Taking her hand into his, Kakashi led them into the dining room. After helping her choose a seat at the table, he helped Sachi with the dishes as Iruka settled the little ones in their own personal chairs.

The atmosphere was very laid back as everyone ate and talked, much to Sakura's surprise and relief. She was even having quite a lot of fun. Everything just felt so normal with the Umino family compared to everything else around their lives right now. It was a welcome change to be around such positive energy for once.

Kakashi even seemed to be more at ease, joking and teasing as he always did without any reservations. Watching him interact with the children was probably one of the most heartwarming things she had ever seen. She had no doubt what a great father he could be in the future someday like Iruka. It was still so far away to even think about having a family of their own, but it seemed so easy to imagine it.

After dinner, Sakura offered her help with washing the dishes along with Kakashi, which brought them a lot of adamant protests from Sachi and Iruka since they were guests, but their persistence of not taking a no for an answer together paid off, leaving the Uminos with the children.

"Stop," Sakura whispered in warning, wiping a bit of soap from her face that Kakashi had just flicked her way from the sink.

"What?" he asked innocently, splashing more water again except this time on her shirt.

With a shocked look on her face, she hit her hips into his, he nearly stumbled before he bumped her back.

"You're such a jerk!" she exclaimed, elbowing him in the side to push him away.

"So mean to me, Sakura-chan."

"Me mean? You're mean!" she huffed.

He smiled, continuing to playfully fight her the entire time. He was amazed that they managed to complete their task of washing everything still pretty quickly. In the living room now, Sakura knelt down on the floor next to Sachi who was playing with Nori on her lap with a plush toy.

Kumiko scooted beside Sakura, offering her an empty plastic teacup.

"Oh, thank you. I'd love some tea," Sakura said, accepting the cup as the child went to fetch the plastic teapot that was placed in front of her mother and little brother.

Kakashi watched in amusement, leaning against the wall silently before Iruka tugged at his sleeve to follow him out into the hall. Through the dining room and kitchen, they stepped into the open back porch which wrapped around most of the house.

Light sprinkles of fresh rain entered his senses as he walked beside Iruka, stopping just a few feet away from one of the nightlights along the wall that was clinking with moths against the glass.

"Thank you again for having us. It's always nice seeing everyone," Kakashi commented, resting is hands inside his pockets.

"Need to come down more often," he replied, scratching the scar across his nose lightly as he took in a breath to say what was on his mind. "I feel like a bad friend to you, and I'm sorry about that."

Words were caught in his throat, completely caught off guard in hearing him say such a thing. It wasn't true.

"I should have reached out to you sooner after I heard what happened. I know Sakura's been with you the whole time, but I'm sure it's been hard on her, too. You two shouldn't be dealing with everything on your own like that."

"It has been, but we've been doing alright… and you've never been a bad friend to me, Iruka."

He shrugged, inwardly disagreeing in his mind. "We've never talked much about our past between us, and I think I've always liked that because I figured we've always understood each other when it comes to knowing the pain of loss."

"Sometimes things are better left unsaid."

"Sometimes," Iruka echoed. "I know my life can't even compare to what you've probably gone through, but we've both lost our parents at an early age. I know that it's not easy. It's something that stays with you everyday."

"That it does," he hummed faintly in response.

"I also know how much you value your privacy… and I'm not bringing you out here to butt in or tell you what to do. It's not my place to say, especially since I can probably never hope to understand how you feel right now along with everything else. I don't want to trivialize what you're going through by saying things will get better; to look on the bright side of things. Some memories just can't be simply forgotten."

Kakashi looked towards the ground, wedging his foot against the wall with his heel. He was unsure what to even say at first. It was like his friend knew his memories had been plaguing his mind lately. How much he was fighting just to move on.

"You're right about that," he finally replied. "Some memories can't be. Every day I've been trying to put stuff behind me for one reason or another. I feel like I take one step forward, then two steps back in a blink of an eye. I feel guilty with Sakura sometimes. She's trying so hard to make me feel better. And the thing is she does make me happy… but I still can't forget the stupid past that keeps dragging me down. I'm always reminded of it one way or another."

"That's completely normal. Don't feel bad about how you feel. Embrace it even. You can't just instantly bounce back to being completely fine again. That would be crazy. It's barely even been a week, Kakashi. You realize that, right? That it's been barely over a week? I know the recent news hasn't been making things any easier for you."

"So…"

Iruka sighed, rubbing the right side of his temple lightly with his fingers. "Do you really think anyone could process something so quickly? And just be okay?"

"...Yes?"

He frowned, shaking his head as he crossed his arms, unsure if he was being serious. "Kakashi."

"No?"

"…"

"…So, no then," Kakashi confirmed half-seriously.

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"Perhaps."

"No, really, you are," Iruka said earnestly. "There's no reason for you to feel guilty about how you feel. Don't suppress it. It's okay to be sad, angry, bitter… doesn't matter. Even I still feel that way sometimes myself some days and I have a lot to be thankful for, too."

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully. He didn't know the details of how Iruka grew up, but knew he had lost his parents in a car accident when he was young. One day he asked about the scar along his nose, only to find out that it was from the same accident he had lost his parents to. The only survivor of a head on collision… It was certainly why he felt closest to Iruka in a lot of ways. He could understand having something taken from you without warning, especially someone that you loved.

"I understand what you mean. Thank you," he replied, scratching the back of his silver hair. "You're really the closest thing I have to a family, I have to say."

"I really meant what I said earlier this morning. If you ever need anything, if I can help in any way… let me know. Doesn't matter how trivial it is. I worry about you and Sakura-san," he murmured. "And my family is your family."

He took in a breath. "You're going to make me cry…"

"…Really?"

"I'm kidding," he drawled.

"You don't have to keep up the tough act, Kakashi. It's okay," Iruka joked.

"No, really."

"Just let it out."

"…"

"Group hug?"

"…I will punch you if you touch me."

"Okay, okay," he sighed with a chuckle. "Good talk then."

"Good talk." He made a hidden smile beneath his mask.

After a moment, they stepped back inside the house. They found Sakura and Kumiko in the living room playing with teacups still.

"Sachi is tucking Nori in bed," Sakura said, sipping from her imaginary filled cup.

"Ah, that's right. It's pretty late. Time for bed for you, too, kiddo," Iruka said.

"Awe, I want to stay up with Sakura-chan," Kumiko whined.

"It's okay, you should get some sleep. We'll get to play again soon. I promise," Sakura encouraged.

Pouting, the child slowly sat up as Iruka told her to say goodnight to everyone before getting ready for bed. Sakura gave her a hug and Kakashi patted the top of her head before she ascended up the stairs at a snail's pace.

After saying their goodbyes to Iruka and Sachi for the night, they were soon driving on their way back home.

"Can we steal Kumiko-chan?" Sakura asked, poking Kakashi's arm playfully as he drove.

"Uh… how about no," he dryly laughed.

"Please?"

Pretending to sigh, he asked, "You like her that much, hum?"

Sakura grinned. "She's so adorable. I love her."

"Do you love her more than me?" he teased.

She pretended to think about it. "Well…"

"That hurts… Sakura-chan," he sighed.

"I'm kidding. Of course I love you more," she said with a small smile.

"Lies," he huffed.

Poking him once more in response, she leaned back in her seat, watching the dark road pass before them. "Sachi's really kind. I'm glad I got to meet her."

"Glad to hear it. Did you get to know each other a bit?" he asked.

"Yeah, it was nice. Do you think we'll get to go visit them again sometime soon?"

He shrugged. "Sure, don't see why not."

She smiled in delight. "What did you and Iruka talk about?"

"Oh, you know guy stuff."

"Dolphins?"

He rolled his eyes. "Ha ha…"

"No, but really... if you don't mind sharing," she urged.

"Just about what's been going on... How much I wish I could just forget everything already, but I can't."

"It's something that can't be rushed. There are a lot of memories you hadn't thought about in years for a good reason and now they're suddenly in the forefront of your mind. That would be hard on anyone," she murmured.

"Right," he sighed. "But… I also want to tell you that I'm sorry for making you worry and go through this with me. I feel bad about it. That's something else I can't help but feel how I do… I just want you to be happy. That's something I've always wanted to be to you. Instead I'm kind of dragging you down with me…"

"I _am_ happy, Kakashi. There's never been a moment where I've regretted anything. I never will," she proclaimed firmly. "When I was depressed about my own family and school, you were by my side. This is no different. I'm not going anywhere. I never will. Don't forget that."

He smiled.

"I want nothing but you to be happy, too. Tell me what I can do to help. Maybe there isn't much I can do… but I'm here. That's what matters. I love you," she added.

"Thank you… I love you, too."

Biting the inside of his cheek, he deliberated on telling her about his trip to Osaka. He really didn't want to possibly end things on a bad note, but if he didn't say something soon, he might keep putting it off which would only make things worse.

When they arrived home, he was happy to find their yard quiet as he pulled into the driveway. Whatever paparazzi were probably there must have given up for the day. It was nice to walk inside their doorway normally without feeling pressured to.

Sighing, he tossed their bags on the couch and unzipped his jacket. He still couldn't decide what he should really say to her. Watching her start to head upstairs, he shrugged off his jacket and went to follow her into their bedroom.

Sakura yawned, collapsing backwards onto their futon. "I feel pretty sleepy," she murmured.

"Get some sleep then, silly."

With a smile, she extended her arms above her head. "Help me get ready for bed?" she asked seductively.

Loosening the buttons on his shirt, he sighed as his consciousness gnawed at him. He turned to their dresser and opened the drawer to find a comfortable sleeveless shirt to sleep in tonight.

"What's wrong?" she frowned, tilting her head into her pillow as she watched him get changed.

"Nothing's wrong. It's not a big deal or anything."

"Then tell me."

Figuring this was what he had been holding back from mentioning to her earlier, she hoped he would finally open up about whatever it was.

Now changed into a simple black shirt and fleece pants, he knelt onto the bed and crawled beside her. "I'm going to be in Osaka this weekend. It's only for barely two days. I'll be back before you even know it."

She hummed, trailing a finger against his ribbed fitted shirt across his chest. "What for?"

"There's paperwork I need to go through to forfeit my nomination to overtake the company."

"Oh." She sighed in relief at the news. She was worried he wouldn't be able to resolve everything. "Well, that's great you'll be able to take care of it and move on."

"Yeah. That's the hope."

"But where are you going to get it done though?"

He sighed, not really wanting to answer.

"Kakashi, where?" she asked again, lightly tapping her fingers against his ribs.

"It's at the company headquarters."

She froze, looking up towards his downcast eyes as he toyed with a loose thread from their blanket. "H&H?"

"Well, yeah…"

"…Can I come?"

He sighed once more. It was the question he dreaded. "No… not this time."

She blinked. Sitting up on her elbows, she asked, "Why not? There's no need for you to go to Osaka by yourself."

"It's just some paperwork I have to do in person," he reasoned. "That's it. No more, no less. You'd just end up waiting around."

"But it's at H&H. I know how much you hate your family and the company. You told me yourself that you hadn't been there since you were a kid. I highly doubt you even want to go. Wouldn't it be easier if I came, too?"

"You don't need to trouble yourself. It's really okay. I'll be just fine."

"Remember when you came with me at the school's office?" she questioned. "You didn't have to do that either."

"That was different."

She sighed. "Kakashi, seriously… I want to come with you."

He raised his hand, combing his fingers her into her pink hair. "Sakura… I need to do this alone."

"I don't understand why," she muttered.

"Sakura, please. Earlier you said you wanted to know what would make me happy, yes?"

After holding her breath, she replied, "…Yes."

"It would make me happy if you stayed here, Sakura."

"…I can't do that."

"I'm not asking…"

"…"

Feeling hurt, her throat tightened as she quickly turned on her side to face the other way. Why wouldn't he want to take her? Did everything she had just said about being by his side mean nothing to him? He didn't have to do everything on his own. She thought they had made progress with him talking about some of his memories and nightmares. When she was with Sachi, the older woman shared a little bit about what Iruka wanted to say to Kakashi when he pulled him aside. To point out the fact that he had friends around him to reach out to as well. He wasn't alone. Why would he ever want to go to the place she knew he hated most on his own? It made no damn sense why he would do that to himself.

"Sakura…" He placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. Please don't be upset."

She tensed. "I can't just lie here and pretend its okay when it's not."

"I understand how you feel-"

"-No, clearly you don't," she cut in.

"And you don't understand either," he retorted.

Shaking her head, she sighed. He pulled her back by her arm so that she would face him, but she stared towards the ceiling instead.

"Let's just talk about it more tomorrow, okay?" he asked softly.

"Fine."

He leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled away, rolling back on her side once again.

"Sakura…"

"Goodnight."

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading. Anyone who's been reading this far really deserves an award, lol. -gives you gold plated cookies- No really… it's so darn long. t_t
> 
> Any comments are appreciated.
> 
> I'm still working on my project, so unsure about next update, but shall try my best. Thanks for your patience! Hope everyone is having a grand 2013 so far.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	43. Turning Point

**Chapter 43: Turning Point**

 

Kakashi took in a deep breath, squeezing his eyes tightly shut for a few seconds. After an exhale, a blurred beam of moonlight slowly refocused through his widening sliver of vision again. Quietly moving his fingers from beneath the sheets towards the wooden floor, he briefly clicked the side button on his phone, illuminating the current time which he had checked well over seven times already.

He sighed.

It was half past four in the morning and he still couldn't manage to fall asleep. Deciding it was a lost cause at this point, he carefully sat up and glanced towards Sakura's slumbering face. Wanting to reach out and caress her cheek, his heart sunk a little. Her sharp goodnight to him without another word wasn't the main reason for his insomnia tonight, but it certainly didn't help.

At the end of the day, they would always kiss each other goodnight. He felt juvenile for even being bothered by being denied such a small gesture, or maybe it was just the fact that she seemed genuinely upset at him for once. He certainly expected some concern about his trip to Osaka, but not to this extent.

It wasn't like he was going to, heaven forbid, a family reunion. It was a busy corporate office filled with faceless people he didn't know or care about. The last time he was there he was eighteen, and he was in and out of there quickly which was what everyone else wanted, too. Signing a few papers for the release of his inheritance and promptly leaving was something he could handle just fine despite his general bitterness. It wouldn't be any different this time around except he would be spared the presence of his uncle. It would be even easier now to visit the company, wouldn't it?

Edging away carefully from the bed and up to his feet, he blindly threw on a t-shirt that was crumpled on a nearby chair. After descending the stairs towards the kitchen, his eyes burned for a moment from the sudden flicker of the light as he flipped the switch, but they adjusted after a few blinks as he lazily shuffled towards the coffee maker.

"Hello, old friend," he murmured, pressing a side button to switch the machine on. "We meet yet again."

As he waited for the brewer to warm up, he moved to the sink and twisted the faucet on. He cupped a few portions of cold water in his hands to wash his face, trying to make himself more awake. He had the same routine for sleepless nights like this. Get up after failing to force himself to sleep for a few hours, drink coffee and wander around the darkened house like a zombie until Sakura would get up in a few hours. Then they could both get ready and leave towards their respective schools.

Reaching for a shiny crinkled plastic bag from the overhead cabinet, he glanced down at his obscured, dusty reflection in the top of the coffee maker. With a heavy sigh, he said, "I can't keep doing this with you. What would my wife and children say if they knew I kept sneaking off to you in the middle of the night?"

He playfully glared at the machine as he opened the small bag. "Don't look at me like that. I'm judged enough as it is and I don't need a coffee brewer to judge me, too."

Loading up the basket with a filtered coffee bag, he pressed the button to brew and tiredly tapped the side of the plastic machine as he hung his head low. "I should probably stop talking to inanimate objects in the morning."

"You could try talking to a person."

Kakashi flinched at the sputtering liquid of coffee dripping down. Dear God, things were talking back to him. He had finally lost his mind.

Hearing a throat clear, he turned around to find Sakura slowly emerge from around the corner of the square archway. He sighed in relief for his sanity as she looked up to him with a sad smile.

Briefly smiling back, he asked, "Have you been there long?"

"Long enough to know you've been cheating on me with that at night," she quipped.

"That? He has a name," he huffed, acting offended as he patted the top of the machine.

Her brow rose with a growing smirk. " _He?_ Oh, wow, Kakashi. I never knew."

"Hey, I don't pick who I love. I just pick coffee flavors." He raised the opened bag in his hands and read aloud, "Today it's Jamaica Blue Mountain."

Rolling her eyes, she approached as she wrapped her robe more tightly around her waist. "And what does that taste like?"

"Jamaica."

She sighed, leaning against the counter. "You're impossible, Hatake."

"I try," he teased, shrugging weakly. "Did I wake you? I'm sorry, if so…"

"No, no," she replied. "I've been up for the past few hours, too."

"Ah, you were?" he asked in surprise.

"I'm good at pretending to be asleep."

He hummed, crossing his arms before moving to lean beside her against the counter. "I see."

"Anyway, Kakashi… I'm sorry about earlier," she began to say, self consciously tugging at the sleeve of her robe as she spoke. "I realize how that was a bit childish on my part for not talking to you, especially with all you've been going through, so, there's really no excuse for it. I'm sorry. I just… got upset in the moment."

Smiling, he said, "Thank you, but its okay, Sakura. You have the right to be mad if you want to be."

"Well, I don't want to be when it comes to you, Kakashi. We've never even really fought about anything before besides play fighting and I like to keep it that way, but it's nice to be on the same page, you know? At least tell me why before wanting to close the discussion all together."

"…I know and I'm sorry," he murmured, his eyes lingering down towards the tiled floor. "I didn't want to worry you with all this stuff anymore. I made my decision about finishing the rest on my own and just wanted to leave it at that."

She sighed. "And that's the thing, I don't get why you want me to stay here so badly. I want to be there for you in any way that I can be, just like you always have for me. And you comparing helping me with the school as being different... it isn't. Not when it's about being there for each other as support, no matter how big or small. I got upset because after everything, I've been here since the beginning, so why wouldn't I want to see it to the end, too?"

"You have a point," he admitted reluctantly, looking up to her with concern. "But you have to understand that I always want to do what's best for you. I want to protect you and I've always felt that way. I feel guilty enough as it is for scaring you and making you cry when I was a complete emotional wreck."

"Kakashi…"

"And that's why this is different. Because of me, you're being dragged into media attention for being at my side, and trust me, you just have no idea how much I hate that. I don't want to subject you to even more that will be waiting in Osaka. All it's going to do is add another notch of guilt."

Stepping in front of him with a determined sigh, she combed her fingers into his silver hair and trailed them down along to his firm chest. "You've always been very kind to me, and I appreciate you wanting to protect me, but I'm more than capable of handling it. I have so far, haven't I? Don't you think I'm strong enough?"

"I'm not saying that you aren't."

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Kakashi. It makes me sad to hear you say that because I'm fine. Like you just said to me, it's okay to be mad. Same applies to you. What I care about is being by your side and seeing you happy. You've told me yourself that when we're together, it helps make you forget about everything. That's why you were able to fall in love with me. I feel the same when I'm with you, and that's why I want to go with you more than anything. Seriously… please don't feel guilty about stuff you can't control or for feeling upset because of the situation. I don't blame you for that and I never will. I'm just mad for you wanting to shut me out… because that means you might be suffering alone and that hurts me more than anything."

"See," he sighed, pulling her into a hug while tucking her head beneath his chin. "This is why I didn't want to talk to you about it, because I know you're right."

"So then… does this mean can I go?" she asked hopefully, tightening her lips against his neck in anticipation.

"Well... okay. You can come, Sakura."

"Thank you!" Pulling back, she went to place a kiss on his cheek, but he quickly dodged to steal one from her lips instead. "Hey-!"

Her smile grew as he placed several tender kisses against her mouth, melting more into his arms. Caressing up the back of his spine with her fingers over his shirt, she continued upwards until she touched something that seemed out of place.

Tugging the strange material, she tilted her head back with a soft chuckle. "Your shirt's on backwards."

"Oh, is it?" he said with a short laugh. "It tends to happen if you dress in the dark."

"Is that what you also do in the middle of the night, too?"

"It's a fun hobby of mine. Last time I tried putting on pants."

"And how did that turn out for you?" she mused.

"It's the reason why I stopped wearing pants," he replied slyly.

She looked down, raising a brow. "Ah, well that explains your backward boxers."

He opened his mouth to retort, but paused to look down as well. "Wait, seriously? Oh… you liar."

Grinning, she squeezed him more tightly in case he wanted to try and punish her for her small lie. He didn't disappoint by wedging a finger between the two of them to her stomach, tickling her until she couldn't take it anymore. With a squeak, she jumped back, playfully swiping at him to stop.

Looking at the pot of coffee at that was almost full, Sakura asked, "Are you going to stay up again?"

"Yeah, but don't let me keep you. You should head back to bed."

"Well…" She sheepishly shrugged, intertwining her hands with his to pull him forward. "But I can't sleep either though, so, I'll just hang out with you."

He replied with a skeptical hum, glancing over her tired green eyes. He wondered if she was just staying up because she was worried. "I'm fine, Sakura, really. Get a few more hours of sleep before we have to get ready today."

Pouting, she sighed as she stared at their joined fingers, lightly grazing a thumb over the almost healed stitches in his palm. "I know you haven't been sleeping very much," she whispered.

With a shrug, he said, "When I have a lot of stuff on my mind, I can't."

She looked up in concern. "About?"

"Not anything you don't already know. It's just, I don't know, a lot of regrets."

"Kakashi…"

"I'm almost past everything in my own way, I promise," he assured. "Don't worry. I have a feeling once everything is said and done at the meeting this weekend, I'll feel a lot better."

She smiled slightly. "Think of it as a final chapter."

With a thoughtful hum, he said, "I guess you can think of it that way."

"Which is why I definitely want to come. Like I said before, I've been here since the start… and I want to see the end, too."

"I realize that now," he murmured, tugging her back closer to press a light kiss between the loose strands of her bangs. "Thank you for being here."

She smiled, glancing at him encouragingly. "Always."

* * *

  
  
After sending a message on her phone, Sakura sighed and reclined back in her seat. "I don't understand why she worries so much. The flight isn't even that long. Kakashi, did you bring, um-"

She rolled her head to the left and paused. Kakashi was slouched back, completely asleep with his book still pried open between his fingers, quickly slipping from his grip. Catching his novel as it nearly dropped to the floor, she pulled back and gave him a sympathetic glance.

Throughout the entire week he had still been having a difficult time falling asleep at night. A few days he could, others not so much. She hated seeing him looking so tired at the end of the day. Today was the start of their weekend, and he should be spending it to catch up on his rest. Instead they were here, bright and early in the morning on an airplane, about to take off to Osaka.

Deciding not to disturb him for now, she settled herself back into her seat and began to flick through the familiar worn pages of his Icha Icha book. Reading at least helped distract her a bit from her own worries. She hoped everything would go as simply as Kakashi predicted. Once everything was settled with the company, he should feel more at ease which is what she wanted to see the most. For him to be happy again. There was little doubt in her mind how much he hated his uncle for what he did, and the resentment for being a part of a family that was never there for him, but those were some of the many burdens he had held throughout most his life. He had always been so strong putting up with it all until now. She couldn't blame him for feeling how he had been lately. He had never gotten a chance to truly process anything until now.

Earmarking the page she was on, she closed and tucked the book away against the side of her chair at the announcement that the plane was about to lift off. Glancing at Kakashi's still sleeping face, she debated if she should just let him rest for now.

Kakashi's eyes snapped open as his head bopped backwards against his cushioned seat. Still in a dream-like daze, his body nudged gently forward and back again as he took in a deep yawn, popping the built up pressure in his ears. Looking to his right, Sakura warmly smiled at him.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," she brightly said.

Taking a quick glance out the window, he was surprised to see them descending towards a landing. He could have sworn they had just sat down to get ready to leave. "We're in Osaka already?" he asked in slight bewilderment.

"Yep. You've been asleep throughout the whole flight. I can't tell completely with your mask… but I'm pretty sure you were drooling," she teased.

"Pff. As if I drool," he lightly scoffed with a narrowed glare. "And I'm sorry. You should have woken me."

"Don't be silly. I wanted you to get some sleep. Besides, I had this to entertain me instead." She held up his book, waving it jokingly in front of him.

Snatching it, he hummed in amusement. "Ah, I have no doubt this did _entertain_ you quite well."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she quizzed with a pout, feeling her cheeks already betray her with a flush.

"I miss seeing your adorable blushes," he teased, playfully pinching at her cheek. "I like reading this one on flights. You've read it before… so you know that the best part is that one scene in the _cockpit_ where he _really_ turns that word into a whole new meaning. Like when-"

"Yes, y-yes," she stammered, mortified at some of the curious looks they were getting from across the aisle from overhearing their conversation.

Oh, but how he loved those scarlet blushes of hers. "But when-"

"Shush!" she muttered, stealing the book back from his hands to smack it against his chest.

He laughed, easily pulling the novel away from her again. After slipping it inside his jacket for now, he leaned in to whisper, "Could you do me a favor?"

Sighing, she calmed herself down due to the serious tone his voice. "Anything."

"Could you just think about it when we fly back?"

"Think about… what?" she replied, puzzled what he was asking about.

"Maybe we could, you know, do that other scene."

Her throat felt heavy. _"What?"_

"The scene that takes place in the bathroom with the stewardess... except of course you'll play that part and I'll be the helpless passenger." He winked.

"…"

He held back another laugh, but discreetly smiled beneath his mask from how red her cheeks were getting again. With a sigh, he added, "Oh, come on. It's not that bad."

"You and your sexual fantasies," she grumbled back with a glare.

"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy that chocolate one. You fought very hard not to do it for months and there's no way how you can sit there right now and tell me that you weren't glad that you changed your mind. Right?"

"…"

"See?" he piped up with a grin.

"Shut up."

"Oh, my poor sweet, Sakura-chan. She can't admit it."

"I hate you."

"Oh, wonderful. Now we're officially back on good terms again." He presented her with a small thumbs up.

"Ugh," she huffed, tapping his hand away as she tried her best not to smile at his antics. Pretending to glare out the window, she was inwardly quite happy he at least woke up to a good mood. The less he worried about H&H, the better. With a fake sigh feeling him still staring at her once the plane rolled to a stop, she said, "Would you just get our luggage from the overhead compartment?"

Unbuckling his seatbelt, he sat up and ruffled a hand into her hair. "Yes, my love."

Rolling her eyes, she fixed her hair and watched for a moment as other people around them were getting ready to board off the plane as well. Looking back out the window, she wondered if they would get a chance to explore Osaka since she had never been here before, but decided against asking. They were leaving the next day anyway and she wanted to make sure Kakashi got lots of much needed rest instead.

Exiting the small loading bridge from the plane, she was relieved when they stepped on solid flooring again and that they hadn't run into any media so far. Maybe Kakashi had been a bit too paranoid about it in the first place?

A dark haired man in a black crisp suit and tie had a sign held up that said, 'Hatake.' Around him were a couple of other men dressed in a similar fashion.

"I didn't know we were going to have a pick up?" Sakura asked, tugging at his side as they walked.

"It's from H&H. I really didn't want to go through them for transportation, but given the situation right now, it's for the best. It makes me feel a little better with you coming along, anyway. That's all that matters. I can swallow my pride for a day."

"But what for?" she asked uncertainly.

"You'll see."

When they approached, the male with the sign gave a deep formal bow, followed by the remaining three similar looking men at his side.

"Hatake-sama, on behalf of H&H we welcome you both to Osaka. We'll be your security and transportation for today. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know. My name is Ishida-san."

"Thank you, Ishida-san," Kakashi replied evenly after the formal introduction. "I don't want to waste everyone's time so, I'd like to get this over with as soon as possible. Let's head to the hotel for now until the meeting starts in about two hours. It's about fifteen minutes away from the office, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

He hummed. "We'll leave about thirty minutes beforehand then."

"Very good, sir. We'll take care of your luggage if you can please follow us this way to the car we have waiting outside. I apologize in advance for any inconvenience of the press that's currently camping at the gate. We'll try our best to keep them back."

"It's what I figured, no worries," he replied.

Ishida bowed once more and offered to take the bag currently in Kakashi's hands. Inwardly sighing, he told him not to worry about it which made the man look almost at a loss of what to say at the refusal, but quickly moved on to lead them towards the end of the gates instead.

Ever since he was little, he felt bad for the staff that had to put up with his family. His father had always been kind with theirs, but his other relatives weren't so forgiving to their own. They seemed to forget that their employees were people, just like anyone else. Working barely over a minimum wage didn't make you any less of a person.

When he pulled Sakura's hand into his, she tenderly gave him a small reassuring squeeze. Her fingers began to grip more firmly once she realized the large amount of people waiting at the gate weren't family members of other passengers. A flurry of lights began to flash more vibrantly the closer they inched forward.

People walking around them began to slow and watch in curiosity. It felt strange and a bit awkward no matter how much she tried to feel normal right now. She made a promise to Kakashi that she would be just fine in coming along. That she could handle a mere crowd. She didn't want him to feel like letting her come was a big mistake.

But when they exited, she didn't expect a thick swarm of people surrounding them in seconds like sharks to prey. Everyone seemed starved for their attention, some asking and others commanding them to look up for a picture or answer questions. Compared to the reporters back at their temporary home, this was a joke in terms of the sheer amount of people. Kakashi silently pulled his hand away from hers to slip his arm around her instead, hugging her closer as they tried to move past the barrage of media. There were so many voices all going off at once, it simply scattered into an endless noise of mixed words. The blinding lights were already making her feel dizzy as she began to shield her eyes. From how packed everyone was around them, she felt like she could hardly breathe while a few hands tried to pull at her shirt and sleeve before they were pushed back aside.

Despite how much the security tried to drive everyone back to make a path, several times they were slowed down to a halt. Those stalled moments were probably the worst. How could he have dealt with his on his own? And how did he even manage to do it before all this? It was no wonder why he felt so concerned about it for her sake. There wasn't anything amusing about having your personal space violated.

Practically throwing herself inside the short limo that was waiting for them, she never felt so glad to be inside a car.

After the door shut promptly after Kakashi, he sighed and said, "Fun, no?"

"Could be worse," she murmured back, trying her best to avoid looking out the darkened windows.

He sighed, rubbing his brow. "And to think I was actually going to come completely by myself. I probably would have punched someone."

"Well, but he would have deserved it," she said with a small smile, nudging his shoulder with hers.

With a small laugh, he gently pushed her back. Sighing, he watched the array of people slowly disappear as the car began to move forward. He really was crazy thinking he could be okay being here on his own. Sure, he could have done it, but at the cost of extra stress. What was he trying to prove exactly in doing so anyway? He wasn't even sure anymore. It was hard to admit after all these years how wrong he had been for most of his life. Everything in the past few months just proved to him how he didn't have to rely on just himself anymore, but yet he kept trying to do so as if he enjoyed suffering alone. Like it was simply normal that way and he was supposed to. Always turning down Iruka's or anyone else's help because he thought he truly didn't need it. Why drag down other people with his own problems? It was the same excuse he would use every time.

He had never had support growing up after his parents' deaths. He didn't know what he had been missing all these years, denying his friends' help time and time again. Sakura's persistence throughout their relationship showed him what it really meant. He had no problem helping others and thought nothing of it, but when it came to himself, it just never seemed to apply to him. For a long time, he felt that he didn't matter. It was a stupid line of thinking that was only making things more difficult than they needed to be. Why did he have to keep doing this to himself?

"I'm not sure how you put up with me sometimes," he murmured, gently tracing a single finger across Sakura's knuckles.

"Where's this coming from?" she asked, turning her palm into his.

"Oh, you know, just realizing how lucky I am to have you in my life yet _again_. I don't think I'm worthy, but I should count my blessings and just be happy."

Smiling, she added, "And you know I feel the same here. No matter what happens, we're together at the end of it, and that's what matters."

He sighed. "You're very right. You know, I might be older than you, but you're wiser than me sometimes."

"Only _sometimes_?" she jested.

"Hey, remember that one time when you thought it was a good idea to dump half a bottle of dish soap in the clothes washer?"

She slid down in her seat in embarrassment. "…I don't want to talk about that."

He chuckled. "I love you."

"You're a jerk," she spat.

"But I still love you."

She sighed with a playful glare. "And I love you, too, but you're still a jerk."

Grinning, he invited her into his arms. As she laid her head against his chest, she watched tall skyscraper buildings pass by from the window. "Osaka looks a lot like Tokyo," she commented.

"It's not as big, but pretty similar as a metropolis," he replied.

After a small moment of silence, she said, "What will we do while we wait at the hotel?"

He began to grin. "Well…"

"Don't you even make a perverted joke," she added.

He playfully sighed. "You're no fun. I was just thinking a small lunch. After everything's all finished at the company, maybe we can go out to dinner somewhere tonight. How does that sound?"

"I don't mind just staying in at the hotel, but it's up to you. How about we just play it by ear?"

"Sounds good then."

"It will be over before you know it," she murmured.

"Let's hope so."

* * *

  
  
A couple of hours later, Kakashi couldn't help but feel a little tense the closer the meeting neared, but he began to feel a little relieved once they pulled up into the underground parking garage at the H&H company. Since he knew it was a private restricted area, he figured he'd have to go through the main building this entire time. This way they were avoiding going through any more press which was one of the things he was dreading the most throughout their entire trip. It wasn't like anyone at the company to be welcoming or considerate to him in particular after his uncle's takeover, but perhaps the reality was that maybe his uncle purposely made it that way.

With that worry out of the way for now, he relaxed in his seat with Sakura at his side as the car rolled to a stop. All they had to do now was meet with whatever lawyers and officials, and then be done with everything. Simple and easy.

Once Ishida opened their door, he followed Sakura out of the car. When he looked up, his gut began to plummet once he saw silver hair, a shade identical to his own. A slender, fair-skinned young male in a fitted dark gray suit stepped forward, slipping his stark glasses back up the bridge of his nose as he bowed very deeply to them both. His face seemed familiar, and yet, completely not.

"Kakashi-san," he said, rising up to meet his dark brown eyes with Kakashi's light ones. "I'm sure I'm one of the last people you care to ever meet again after nearly twenty years, but after I heard what my father did… I believe it's important to apologize to you on behalf of my side of the family. I know it's worthless, especially coming from myself… but I just had to. That's why I wanted to meet with you personally. My father wasn't a good man by any means, but I didn't think he could ever stoop to that kind of level..."

He bowed once again. "I feel a lot of shame for the many things my family has caused you. You're my cousin… and yet we know nothing about each other. All I can say is that I personally regret it in not reaching out to you once I realized for myself how wrong it was not to. I'm not asking you to forgive anyone or myself. There's no reason for you to, but I just want you to know how sorry I am for everything."

Stunned, Kakashi stood still as he took in his words. "I'm… not sure what to even say," he finally replied, or if he even believed it.

As the man rose, he pressed a solemn smile to his thin lips. "Say nothing. And I'm sorry for bombarding you with all that just now. I just… felt I had to before anything else today. I'm sure you don't even remember me, but I'm Zokushi, the youngest son of my late father."

"Zokushi," he repeated the foreign word, triggering a slew of blurred memories. His uncle's sons rarely said anything to him when he was there, and when they did, it was mainly spiteful things. They were separated on opposite sides of the mansion on purpose. Talking to one another was basically forbidden except at public events.

"And this young lady here is Haruno Sakura, correct?" he asked, offering her a small bow as an introduction. "Hatake Zokushi."

"O-oh, yes, I am. How did you know?" she asked, snapping from her own brief shock to return the gesture.

"It's my job to know," he admitted. "I may not have personally been involved in Kakashi-san's life all these years, but I have been keeping tabs from afar I guess you can say."

Kakashi quietly hummed, not thrilled about the idea of being watched for who knows how long. To what extent and with what?

As if his cousin was reading his mind, Zokushi added, "Nothing too terribly private, I assure you. I'm not stalking with undercover cameras or anything insane like that, I promise," he laughed. "Just general public information anyone can get by just asking."

"Well, we can talk more about that later," Kakashi replied. "I'd really like to get everything settled today, if we could get started on that."

"Oh, absolutely. There's something we need to talk about before the meeting though. I requested you come a little earlier, so it's not starting until about an hour from now. I hope you don't mind. If you both could please follow me to my office floor, we can get started."

"Alright then."

Before leading the way, he dismissed everyone who had been their security since the airport but Ishida. As Kakashi followed, he stuffed his hands in his pockets while he raised a brow at Sakura. She silently shrugged, not sure what to make of everything so far either. She couldn't have ever imagined anyone from his family apologize like Zokushi just did. In a way, she felt glad that he did. He was right that those words hardly made up for anything, but it was nice just to hear someone say them, especially to Kakashi.

After filing into a tall, white marble-walled elevator, they went up over fifty floors before exiting into an expansive, buzzing office. Sakura certainly felt underdressed with her jeans and t-shirt compared to everyone else. All of the women had high heels which clicked on the tiled cherry wood-colored floors and wore fitted tailored dresses or pant suits, while all the men had a similar professional wardrobe of long pressed colored ties, shined shoes and well-trimmed suits that simply screamed wealth.

Maybe it was because they were in Zokushi's presence, but everyone who they came across flashed them a welcoming and polite smile. Kakashi looked uninterested in his surroundings and simply ignored everything, but she couldn't stop herself from staring at some of the impressive artworks they passed along the walls. There was even a water fountain back in the lobby which she had to use every part of her willpower to not stop and stare at it like some tourist.

Entering another smaller lobby, a brown haired secretary bowed and greeted to them. Zokushi turned with an apologetic glance to Sakura. "Kakashi-san, what we need to talk about is a very private matter. Would you mind if Haruno-san waited out here? It shouldn't take very long. I don't mean any offense by it to you or her."

He figured she would have to at the meeting for legal purposes, but was a little perplexed what it is they needed to talk about outside of that. He began to respond, "Whatever you need to say, you can-"

"-Kakashi, its fine," Sakura intervened. "I don't want to add any more trouble than I already am in tagging along. So, you two go ahead and I'll wait out here, okay?"

He sighed at her reassuring smile, glancing at Zokushi who carried the same look.

"She'll be in good hands, I promise. Ishida and my secretary, Rei, can help her with anything that she needs."

"I suppose," he replied, figuring maybe he was feeling a bit too overprotective again. He was only going to be in the next room. "Let's go then."

"Great, right this way," Zokushi said as he adjusted his glasses, opening the sleek frosted glass door to his office. "Won't take long, I hope."

With a final look to Sakura, he went inside. The room itself was just as meticulously detailed and lavishly furnished like the rest of the office floor. Even the smell of the air felt just as stifling as the rest. It wasn't that he couldn't appreciate expensive luxuries, but here… he just couldn't help how he felt. It was all a reminder of what he had lost.

Taking a seat in one of the dark crimson leather chairs, he let out a sigh. "So, what's this all about?"

Zokushi stood just a few feet away, hands resting behind his back as he stared out one of the large windows that overviewed the city. The reflection of white light in his lenses flashed as he turned to make a warm smile. "Well, I just want to make sure we understand each other during the meeting. You told me that you had no intention of taking over, correct?"

"So, wait," Kakashi replied at a realization. "Was that you who I talked to that day?"

"It was. I figured you'd be upset if you knew who I really was at the time. I don't blame you for how you feel about our family in general, so I just didn't want to add any more grief at the time."

"I see…" he replied.

Zokushi smiled. "Anyway, so are you sure about your decision?"

"Yes, I am. I find it ridiculous how I'm even involved in this in the first place. There's no reason why I should have ever been in his will."

"Well, the reason doesn't matter so much. I think you and I can both agree my father got what he deserved in the end."

"What," Kakashi drawled. "Death without paying for his crimes?"

"Alright, maybe not completely," his cousin replied with a shrug. "But he certainly deserved death."

Doubting his words, he said, "Is that really how you feel? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"I wouldn't lie about something like that. You weren't the only one he abused, you know. Just in a different way…" He sighed, moving away from the window as he loosened the knot of his tie. "Anyway, point is that I'd really like you to reconsider taking the opportunity. You and I both know it's what's right, and I'd like to make it so. It was all intended to go to you in the first place before your own father died. You realize that, don't you?"

"That may be so, but that doesn't matter now," he replied, shaking his head. "I have no interest in all of this. All I care about is going back to my own life and moving on."

"As just a _teacher_?" he questioned, saying it in a low subtle voice Kakashi knew all too well: judgmental.

Narrowing his eyes, he replied, "Yes, as just a teacher. I'm sure you're unaware, but some people take low paying jobs simply because they enjoy the work."

"Seems like a waste of a talent."

Kakashi chuckled. "And this is why I don't like anyone from Hatake. Your condescended views are all the same."

"Now, now. I don't mean anything by it," Zokushi defended sincerely, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm just saying you're more than capable to handle it."

"That's not the reason why I don't want it. I just simply don't. I'm happy and that's all there is to it. I don't need any more money and I don't need the power trip like most people do to feel good about themselves. I'm pretty surprised anyone here would truly want me to take it in the first place."

"Well, you deserve it more than anyone. I really meant it when I said I was sorry about what my father did to you growing up. That's why I want you to be sure about passing this up and not regretting it later. That's all."

"I appreciate the concern, but I'm very sure." Sitting up from the chair, he added, "So… if that's all we need to talk about then I think it would be best if we ended it here."

Zokushi hummed with regret, leaning against his desk as he looked up over the top of his frames. "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this."

"With what?"

He sighed. "Look, I'm the only one who's aware you've come here with the intention to turn it down."

"And?"

"And it's going to stay that way."

Kakashi stared at first, unsure if he was supposed to laugh. "Which is supposed to mean what?"

"If you ever care to do your little teaching gig anymore, and not completely ruin your entire career and reputation, you're going to accept the position."

"Good joke."

"Sadly, it's not," Zokushi replied sternly. "I'm not even asking you to stay in the role for very long. You don't even have to do anything, but pretend for a little while. It's not forever and you'll be well compensated. Then you can carry on with your life."

"I don't know what your agenda is here, but there isn't any amount of stupid threats or money that's going to make me accept a position at a place I want nothing to be a part of."

"And since I figured you'd feel that way, I'd like you to consider the well being of your little girlfriend outside. She's cute, by the way."

Kakashi's anger flared. "What?"

"Sit down, please," he said casually, moving across his desk to pick up a file. "Consider this before you make your final decision."

Gripping the arms of the chair where he stood, Kakashi wasn't sure what to think as Zokushi extended to him the closed file. Was this all serious or an outrageous lie? Why in the hell would anyone here want him to seriously accept the position? It made no fucking sense. Glancing at the door, he debated just leaving right now. Was Sakura okay?

"She's still outside, calm down," his cousin murmured. "Look it over."

Feeling like his heart was about to hammer out of his chest, Kakashi's knees gave way and he sat back down into the chair. Thumbing open the first page of the document, his jaw clenched at what he saw. "Where did you get this?"

With a sigh, he sat down at his desk and neatly folded his arms across the table. "That's not the important question."

"Like hell it isn't," Kakashi growled through gritted teeth.

"What's your decision?"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive, but perhaps not for long with my addiction to cliffys. *bribes you all with cookies… really good… massive cookies that are the size of a planet?*
> 
> I banned myself from writing for most of last month (very miserable experience), resulting in the super delay of this chapter. Sorry about that.
> 
> I appreciate everyone's recent reviews, personal concerns and comments.
> 
> You are all too kind and it always amazes me anyone who's been reading and keeping up with this story. Each chapter I try my best, but like most things, it can always be better. My hope is always that you enjoy at least some of it.
> 
> Btw - Jamaica Blue Mountain is a real coffee (high reviews, might I add). I'm not sure what kind it is or what machines you can brew it in, but I picked it because of its awesome name. *throws random excuses* I mean come on… blue glorious mountains? Jamaica? Sign me up for that caffeinated experience.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	44. Giving In

**Chapter 44: Giving In**

 

"What's your decision?"

Anger welled up in Kakashi's chest as he flipped through another photograph, feeling torn between outrage and being physically sick. It was disturbing enough having his privacy violated in every sense of the word, but this… this was too much.

"I'm _really_ glad you both had a great time in France, Kakashi," Zokushi commented impassively, leaning back against his chair with a smug look on his face. "There were so many pictures to choose from, I wasn't sure where to even start."

His hands began to shake, clenching the white boarder edge of the current photo. Every picture was a close-up still of him and Sakura, but she had been manipulated to look like she was a lot younger than she was now. Her now short pink hair had been transformed long as it once used to be so many years ago. Her mature features and curves he had grown to know by heart were considerably reduced to look like a girl who had just barely began puberty, just as she did when she was his former student in junior high.

"What?" he uttered with a sneer. "Don't tell me you don't like it?"

"…"

"No? Well, I guess you're right. I'm not into child pornography either. I have to say though, she's a lot sexier in the unedited photos… and after watching through the surveillance, well, I'm kind of envious. I wouldn't mind playing with her for myself once you finally get bored, mm?"

Kakashi snapped, jolting up from his chair to lunge over the desk. Grabbing beneath the knot of Zokushi's tie, he yanked him forward while forcing pressure against his throat with his fist. Papers and various items knocked to the floor as his cousin choked, struggling to pull away from his grip.

Just then Ishida stormed inside the room, followed by the sound of a click. "Let go of him or I shoot," he sternly demanded.

Glancing over his shoulder to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun, Kakashi clenched his fingers before throwing Zokushi back, hard, causing him to crash into a bookshelf behind the desk and fall straight to the floor. Ishida rushed over, checking to see if his boss was alright.

Zokushi coughed, rubbing a hand against his throat as he glared at Kakashi when he stood up. "Ishida, go back outside," he commanded hoarsely.

"But sir-"

"If you see him try anything like that again, immediately drag the girl outside and _shoot her_. Now get out and keep guarding the door," he barked.

He bowed, slipping the gun into his chest pocket. "Yes sir."

"Is everything okay?" He heard Sakura ask outside when Ishida opened the door to leave, shutting it firmly behind him.

Kakashi's heart raced, feeling every nerve burn inside his body, urging him to rush outside and pull her away from here. His cousin was already a step ahead of him.

"If you leave right now, I'll make sure you both don't make it outside the building," he threatened, readjusting his askew glasses back into place with a dark look. "Sit. Down."

Seeing Ishida observing through a small corner of closed blinds that was connected to a window from the office lobby, he closed his eyes and took in a breath to calm himself down. He could barely think straight. After his uneasy exhale, he opened his eyes and picked up his chair that had fallen during their brief struggle. Glaring at his cousin in disgust, he sat down.

With a sigh, Zokushi tightened the slack knot of his tie and sat back into his leather chair. "Because we're _family_ ," he started to say in a condensing tone. "I'm going to be very kind and forgive you for pulling that little stunt. I prefer not to kill people point blank. It's messy and always leaves a trail. That was my father's first mistake, but do understand that if you try and hurt me again you'll regret it. Got it?"

"…"

" _Do you_?"

"Yes," he muttered nearly at a whisper.

"Fantastic."

Clenching his teeth in silence, Kakashi could hardly believe any of this wasn't a dream. Coming here had turned into a mistake in more ways than one. How could he have ever predicted something like this though? He was supposed to come here to give up his rights. It's certainly what his uncle and family would have wanted, or so at least he thought.

He wanted to desperately pull Sakura out of here and leave, but with both of their lives seriously in danger, he was at a loss of what to do. Was it an empty threat? His cousin certainly appeared serious about it. But he wasn't sure, and he didn't want to take the risk in finding out.

This stupid blackmail was beyond outlandish. He originally had his reservations about their age gap in the beginning for different reasons; one of them was figuring his uncle could use it for a scandal because it wasn't considered normal in society. Being her former teacher was later a concern as well, but only because of people initially thinking of exactly what was portrayed in those modified pictures. If those were released, not only would it ruin his reputation as a teacher, but it could very well prevent him from doing so ever again. The years he spent working his way up on his own would be gone unless he proved otherwise, while Sakura would be dragged through the mud of it all, but… she would never claim those pictures were true either.

"I don't give a single fuck what those photographs show. It's fake," Kakashi said with a strained voice. "How can you even prove when it was taken? Sakura would never agree that these are real. What's the point?"

"Oh, but aren't they?" he mocked back, the corners of his lips twitching into the beginnings of a knowing smile. "It's edited specifically so no one can argue when or _where_ it was taken. There are also people that will openly testify against you. I guarantee it."

"I don't believe you."

With a sigh, Zokushi collected some of the fallen papers and pens that had scattered across his desk, neatly rearranging them back in order. "Everyone has a price, even you. I've already given you a small demonstration of what I can do besides a handful of pictures, Kakashi."

He stiffened. "…What are you talking about?"

"You're not very bright after all, are you?" he replied, ignoring the question. "I'm very good at what I do, cousin. No one will be able to dispute the time frame of the pictures. I hire only the best people."

"…"

"But honestly it doesn't even matter. I'm not looking to prosecute you. Just spreading doubt about you is enough. People will gladly accept anything they want to believe is true. You two denying it will only make it look like a sad attempt to cover it up for your sake. Now, tell me, do you really want to ruin your little quaint life because you can't spare a month of your time here?"

Remaining silent, Kakashi hardened his glare.

"Mark my words, if you defy me there will be consequences and trust me, you don't want to cross me. Or would you like me to arrange for you to end up like my late father?" he cryptically added.

Slouching back, he looked at him strangely by the way he said that. "What are you saying? …That you killed him?"

"Like I said before, he deserved to die," Zokushi replied back nonchalantly, narrowing his eyes at his next few words. "Maybe you do, too?"

Unable to speak, Kakashi looked away starting to feel overwhelmed. Not only was the man just as manipulating as his uncle, but he was just as much of a cold blooded killer. Slaying your own family… what the serious fuck was wrong with these people?

His cousin then stood up, straightening his suit jacket before running a hand through his hair. "I think we're done here. The meeting will start soon. Do as you're supposed to and there won't be any problems. Now leave."

Kakashi slowly rose, clutching the arms of the chair as support, feeling like he was in a haze. Somehow he managed to make it to the door as Zokushi followed behind. Sakura sat up from the couch when he exited, her face etched with concern.

"Ishida-san, can you escort the two upstairs to conference room C?" Zokushi asked cheerfully, completely dropping his serious tone from before.

"Yes sir." He briefly bowed. "Right this way to the elevators, please. I'll direct you both where to go from there," he added, gesturing towards the exit from where they first entered.

When Kakashi looked between the two men, his cousin glared a silent threat reminding him what would happen if they didn't cooperate. Taking Sakura's hand, he reluctantly left the office lobby and into the hallway as Ishida trailed behind them a few steps back.

As they waited for a chime to signal the arrival of an elevator, he pulled Sakura protectively closer.

"What's wrong?" she asked in a hushed whisper, glancing back at their escort who was closely watching them. "Earlier he told me that the commotion I heard was nothing but… something happened, didn't it…?"

All he could manage to respond with was a small nod of his head. He felt scared, nauseous and on the verge of having another breakdown. But most of all, he just felt pissed off as hell. This fucking family of his... Was every one of them seriously like this? How could he be related to such bastard people? His father had been a good man, hadn't he?

He just didn't understand it.

"Kakashi," Sakura said softly, growing increasingly alarmed from how withdrawn he had suddenly become after returning from Zokushi's office.

Once they traveled from the elevator to one of the highest levels of the building, they exited into a quiet, but large, hallway that had multiple doors that led into private rooms. Kakashi found himself focusing on the bright florescent orbs that were reflecting from black granite tiles of the floor. He watched as the trails of light passed beneath their feet as they walked, pulling him more into a trance. Finally lifting his eyes at the source, he recognized the oversized crystal chandeliers hanging above them. He used to come here with his mother, remembering that one of his favorite things used to be those lights. The multiple colors that would shine down from the clear prisms had always fascinated him.

Dropping his line of sight to the long row of portraits they passed, he suddenly halted to a stop, remembering what else belonged in this hallway. He dropped his hand from around her waist to step forward.

"…Kakashi?" Sakura said in worry.

Staring at a painting, his eyes roamed over it once before lifting a finger to touch one of the crackled oil brush strokes. He unemotionally mumbled, "My father."

Gently placing her hand against his back, Sakura observed for a moment to take in the details. The news had flashed photographs of his parents, but she never had the chance to really take the time to study his father's features. There was a strong resemblance between him and Kakashi, but with minor differences that he had inherited from his mother.

Silently mouthing a small prayer out of respect, she retook his hand and firmly squeezed his palm, wondering if he was acting a little upset because of the memories here. That was why she wanted to be here for him the most, but somehow she couldn't quite believe that was the only reason why. His mood felt so heavy… just like how he was a few weeks ago which making her even more worried.

Kakashi stood there feeling like his heart was slowly eroding away from the inside out. Unable to bear looking at his father's image anymore, he turned away to realize that the rest of the artworks were portraits of his other relatives who once ran the company. His grandfather… great grandfather…

And then he looked to the left of his father's frame. There sat a picture of his uncle. Anger and bitterness fueled his veins at first, and then suddenly he just felt… hollow.

"Just up ahead, please." Ishida spoke up.

Snapping back to the reality of where they were, he pulled Sakura with him moving forward again down the grand hallway. They didn't stop until they were ushered inside an empty meeting room.

"I will get you when it's time," Ishida instructed, casting them both a final look before closing the heavy metal door behind him. After a few seconds, they heard the turn of a lock click.

Sakura's green eyes widened. "Did he just seriously lock us in here? What's going on?"

Kakashi sighed, sluggishly pulling out one of the chairs that were tucked under a long wooden oval table. Taking a seat, he hunched over and rubbed his eyes in distress as she claimed the chair beside him.

"You're scaring me," she murmured, leaning towards him as he stared down at the table. "What did he say to you, Kakashi? Please, talk to me. That's why I'm here… as support, remember? Tell me what's going on…"

He took in a deep breath, feeling the built up mix of emotions in his chest diffuse for a moment. She was right. After a pause, words tumbled out of his mouth about the edited pictures of them in France and Zokushi's warning about if they tried to leave without him accepting the role.

Shocked, her cheeks blushed as she practically shrieked, "Why would he change me into looking like I'm a child!? H-How did he even get pictures of us in the first place?"

"To make it look like our relationship happened when you actually were my student… He wants to ruin my career, too, not just my reputation," he replied, rubbing the back of his tense neck. "And the photos I saw… it looked like it was only after our first night there. Someone must have tampered with our room when we left to explore Paris."

"He can't prove that really happened years ago in Paris instead of months ago. I never even owned a passport then."

"The pictures are purposely cropped and zoomed in… it's altered to look like it could be anywhere." He sighed. "There's no way how we can prove where we were six years ago, Sakura. That's too long ago… and I'm not sure if we can prove otherwise. It would just be best just to avoid the situation."

"But…" Her voice wavered. "T-there has to be _something_ we can do. I don't want you to do it, Kakashi. What if he forces you to do something else than he's saying right now after you accept it?"

"It isn't worth risking your life or mine right now if I don't. Hopefully I can find a way to protect us before anything else might happen. I'm not going to feel better until we both leave this building."

"Kakashi, please," she urged. "I have a really bad feeling..."

"I can't." Lifting a hand to brush the side of her cheek, he sighed and added. "Sakura, I'm sorry."

Pressing her bottom lip into a frown, she said, "Don't be sorry…"

"Seems like no matter what I do, I keep dragging you down into my endless life problems. It's…" He fell silent, feeling guilty. "It's why I didn't want us to be together in the first place."

"Don't say that," she murmured, reaching out to squeeze his wrist. "None of this is your fault and you know that."

"I don't know…"

Hearing the door unlock, Ishida appeared from the doorway and asked for Kakashi to come outside.

Kissing Sakura's forehead before he stood up, his heart began to quicken as he approached the door. There was an opportunity by the way Ishida was hovering near the entrance, waiting for him to pass through. Kakashi would be close enough to overpower him without risking a gunfight if he was quick enough. He was a skilled martial artist after all.

Zokushi's threat that they wouldn't get the chance to leave the building crossed his mind though. Security cameras could track their every move within the building which would ultimately lead them to be cornered somewhere. Using the elevator would be out of the question since it could be stopped from the outside, leaving them stranded. The stairwell was also impossible to use from how high up they were, nearly over sixty stories. They wouldn't make it to the floor level without running out of breath or finding themselves surrounded by security.

Sighing, he forced himself to relax and drop the sudden idea after deciding it was hopeless. Placing his hands into his pockets, he followed Ishida towards a conference room that was at the very end of the hallway. The double doors were opened for him as he stepped inside, finding a large table that was seated with at least eleven men who all suddenly fell quiet. Seated against the wall were a few more people. No matter where he looked, everyone seemed a little tense.

"Have a seat, Hatake Kakashi," an even voice said.

Looking up to who had said his name, his eyes fell to a silver-haired man who looked only slightly older than himself. Wearing a slim fitted black vest with a dark red tie, his suit jacket was neatly perched behind him against the back of his chair. The man studied Kakashi for a moment, glancing back down a thick packet of documents before him on the table. After seeing Zokushi seated next to the man, without another thought he knew it had to have been his older brother, Ichiro. The brothers looked very alike except Ichiro had considerably shorter styled hair and no glasses.

Everyone else around the table stared with a mix of curiosity and awe as Kakashi claimed the only open chair at the end of the table, opposite of Ichiro. After doing so, papers were presented to him by one of the men who were seated along the sidelines.

"I'm Hatake Ichiro, chairmen of the board," he formally introduced. "Given the circumstances, I'm going to save further introductions of the members today since we're here only to legally initiate Hatake Kakashi as the CEO and President of H&H. We're all a bit taken back by surprise of my father's wishes… but after a long discussion we have collectively decided to honor his request for the good of the company and better its current relations with the public, despite your lack of experience. My brother Zokushi has relayed to us your wishes to accept the position with the agreement of our conditions. Do you have any questions so far, Kakashi-san?"

Concerned at the mention of conditions, he glanced to Zokushi who discreetly shook his head, signaling him to say nothing. Sighing, he reluctantly replied, "No."

"Go through the tabbed pages we have outlined for you of the contract and sign them. Once you've finished, pass it around."

Pulling the clipped packet of papers forward, Kakashi opened the first marked page and picked up a wooden seal that had been set aside for him to use, engraved with the kanji letters of his name. Skimming over the blur of fine print words, he dabbed the stamp in bright crimson ink and hovered his hand over the mark for his signature. Red began to bleed against the document as he hesitated in completely pressing the seal down.

He didn't want to do this.

Sakura wasn't the only one who had a bad feeling. No matter how much Zokushi assured he could somehow go back to his normal life if he agreed to this, he had to seriously wonder how. Not being able to read any of this beforehand, he had to assume the term was at least for a year. How exactly would he be permanently leaving the contract… like his uncle did?

"Is there a problem?" Ichiro asked, idly tapping a pen between his fingers. "If you're having second thoughts, you're still more than welcome to relinquish the offer."

He had to ask, "And it would go to whom, if I did?"

Somehow the room seemed fall even quieter. With a single scoff, Ichiro narrowed his eyes in annoyance. "You and I both know it would have gone to me, so I would appreciate it if you would just get on with it. I didn't do anything to you… my father did. I know it's tempting, but please don't mock me right now. Either sign it or don't sign it."

"Sorry," Kakashi muttered back in bafflement, feeling Zokushi's glare before looking back down to the form.

It was then he finally realized what this was about. It made sense that his uncle's first born son would have naturally been given the head position once he retired. He had no doubt Ichiro most likely spent a lot of time at his father's side for that very purpose. The confusion of Kakashi being named as the heir inside the will was probably on the mind of everyone who was sitting in this room. The media pinned the action as remorse for what his uncle had done, but anyone who had known the man knew he was a selfish liar without a conscience.

Zokushi probably wanted the role for himself… and since his brother was the obvious candidate within the family, it would have been even stranger if he was in this chair right now instead of him, sparking the circumstances of his uncle's apparent heart attack.

If his assumptions were wrong, he would be pretty surprised. The amount of disgusting greed and corruption in his family seemed fucking endless. If Zokushi had something to do with his uncle's death, he was going to find it and put a stop to whatever he was planning. The sooner he could do it, the better chance he had to protect Sakura and himself. Accepting the position would grant him access to files and buildings he otherwise couldn't.

Maybe being here against his will could turn into a good thing…

He could uproot this entire company from the ground up. Change it back into a corporation his father would have wanted, except he would ignore whatever blood ties he had to anyone. Those kinds of bonds were meaningless. The idea of family didn't resonate to him like it did with his father. He would always yield to their requests and opinions, and did so with just about everything except when it came to marrying his mother.

Finally signing the characters of his name, he continued throughout the entire document until he was finished. Sliding the form to the right, it was passed down to Ichiro who began to scan through and officially stamp a bright red seal as his own signature.

Once it was notarized, Ichiro spoke a few words to everyone about what to expect during the change and possible new directions for the company which would be open for discussion at a future date. Adjourning the meeting, everyone rose from their seats as Kakashi did the same. A few men were friendly enough to introduce themselves, formally passing their business cards to him before they left, while others remained quiet with just a simple bow. He didn't care either way. All he wanted to do was just leave with Sakura at his side.

After Zokushi briefly talked with his brother, Ichiro collected his things and breezed past Kakashi without a second glance. Looking pleased, his cousin approached after everyone had left the room, leaving them alone. Adjusting his glasses, he handed him two sets of papers. "Here's a copy of the contract for you as well as my own terms while you're here."

"That figures," Kakashi muttered, glancing through the list. "Wait… I can't leave Osaka?"

"No," he replied flatly. "I'm giving you a week to get your affairs in order, but once you return you need to stay here."

"Why?"

"Not your concern."

With an aggravated sigh, he said, "…And what about Sakura?"

"She can stay or visit you all she wants, I don't care," Zokushi replied dryly.

"Anything else I should know about?"

"Whatever you need will be provided for you. There's already arrangements to where you'll be staying and everything else that goes along with that. You can bring whatever you can carry."

"…Fine."

"And from here on out, if you or your little girlfriend say anything about this little arrangement to anyone, you're both going to have some big problems. Got it?"

"Got it," he muttered half-heartedly.

Following Zokushi out the double doors of the room, Ishida was waiting for them on the other side. Once Sakura was let out of the conference room, relief washed over him as she greeted him with a tight embrace.

He never wanted to let go.

* * *

Sakura watched as Kakashi tiredly tugged his mask down before sitting at the edge of their double bed. Falling backwards, he plopped against the neatly tucked in sheets with a troubled sigh. Locking the door of their room, she discarded her shoes and slid across the bed to curl up beside him.

She didn't know what to say. During their entire ride back to the hotel, he hadn't uttered a syllable either. It was hard to believe Kakashi's family could stoop any lower than they already had, but here they were.

_Hasn't he gone through enough?_

The same question kept repeating over and over in her mind. If there wasn't a possibility to hurt Kakashi's career or reputation as a person, she would be more than fine just having pictures released so that he didn't have to do this. The current limelight focused on his life right now practically guaranteed it. But she would scream at the top of her lungs that the pictures were false to anyone who would listen. Her friends would believe her… and so would his. That would be enough. However she hated what it would represent to anyone else who didn't believe, implying that their relationship was based on manipulation and abuse which couldn't be further from the truth. The notion made her angry and heartbroken at the same time.

"What can we do?" she asked aloud, fidgeting a finger worriedly against his wrinkled shirt.

"As of now, nothing," he replied.

Pausing for a moment, she added, "Then… what can _I_ _do_ for you right now?"

"Nothing," he whispered.

"Do you want to talk at least? You haven't said a word since we got here…"

Part of him was too paranoid to mention his plans to see what he could hopefully dig up about Zokushi. Their room could be bugged for all he knew, including the car ride on the way up here, or even their home. The fact that it was seriously a possibility was unsettling enough as it was.

He knew she was scared, so was he, but most of all he just felt numb. It was an empty feeling he had grown to know quite well as a kid, resulting in him becoming detached from everything around him. It was always his way of dealing with things, but he knew he had to try and change when he grew into an adult. He wouldn't have become the man he was today if he didn't. It took years for him to understand what happiness was and to live a fuller life because of it. Now he felt like he was on the verge of giving up everything.

But he couldn't allow it.

The bed creaked as he turned on his side to face her, smoothly treading his knuckles against her temple. She smiled briefly, leaning into his touch as he combed upwards into the fallen strands of her pink hair. She really was the only reason he felt he could keep going, and felt better already just being here with her like this… and at that thought his heart slightly dropped.

"Sakura…" he began to murmur, casting his eyes downwards for a moment. "I have to come back to Osaka in a week. For how long, I can't say for sure."

"I figured as much," she replied sadly, lifting her fingers against his palm to claim his hand within hers.

"You'll need to stay with someone for the rest of the month until your final exams are over. A friend, your mother… I bet even Iruka's family would be more than happy to help, too," he suggested. "Just let me know who when you decide."

Faintly nodding, she replied, "Alright."

"…You'll also need to find someone to stay with when you return to Tokyo for the new semester."

Her expression turned solemn. Tucking his hand beneath her chin, she said, "I don't want to fight with you like before, Kakashi… but can't I just live here with you?"

"You have college, Sakura…"

"That can always wait. This is more important," she calmly argued. "I really don't like the idea of not being here with you..."

With a sigh, he admitted, "I don't like it either, but I'm worried about how safe it is here for you until I can figure out what's going on."

Biting her bottom lip in thought as she glanced towards the ceiling, she said, "I can manage not being here with you until the semester is over in about four more weeks from now, but we've been living together all this time, Kakashi... I don't want to be away from you for over a month."

"If I really only end up staying here for a couple months, then there's no point in you withdrawing from school," he replied. "But really… most of all I just feel you'd be safer away from here."

"And what if you end up staying longer?"

"Then maybe you can transfer to one of the universities here for the spring. By then I'll hopefully have a good understanding of what's going on here, and I'll feel a lot better about you staying. Does that sound fair?"

"I guess so," she murmured, although not sounding completely convinced. She couldn't help but worry that they'd never get to live together again. "We'll still get to see each other, right?"

"You're welcome to visit, but I can't leave the city."

"Well… then I'll come every weekend," she vowed.

Ruffling the top of her hair, he weakly smiled. "Long as I can meet up with you at the airport when you come, that's fine. I don't want you to be alone. Until then, I'll call you everyday, okay?"

Playfully swiping his hand away, she retaliated by ruffling his mop of silver hair. "Promise?" she asked.

Taking her hand, his sprits briefly lifted as he kissed the base of her fingers. "Promise."

With a warm smile, Sakura snuggled against his chest as he wrapped an arm around her, placing her hand against his heart. "If something happens… if you ever need me here before then, tell me no matter when or where. You're more important."

Closing his heavy eyes, he gently hugged her and whispered, "I will. Thank you, Sakura… for being here with me even now."

"Always."

_TBC_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I don't have anything to side note for this chapter, so I will just say a thank you for everyone's patience and for reading/reviewing/kudos. Always greatly appreciated.
> 
> Until next update~
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	45. Are You Sure?

**Chapter 45: Are You Sure?**

 

"I hope everything goes alright tomorrow. Goodnight, Kakashi. I love you," Sakura whispered into her phone. When he replied the same heartfelt expression, her cherry-colored lips formed into a sincere smile for the first time in days.

Reluctantly pulling back the phone from against her ear beneath the fan of her hair, she hung up and placed her cell against the wooden floor. After a sigh, she slowly dropped down to lie across her stomach, propping herself up with her elbows. Glancing around the peaceful landscape that wrapped along the open back porch she was lounging on, she only wished she could feel just as relaxed as the surroundings did. Looking down, she inhaled the sweet scent of the summer's air. Brushing her palms against a few velvety blades of grass, she plucked one of the soft green tips and slowly began to tear it into pieces.

The worry that plagued her mind was unrelenting no matter how many times she tried to assure herself that everything was going to be okay; that Kakashi was a grown man and that he could easily handle himself. Perhaps if the situation was different she could feel that way, but the serious threats against their lives by his cousin only made her feel scared for him. Now, more than ever, could she even begin to understand the misery and resentment that chased through Kakashi's entire life. She certainly was angry at what his family had put him through, but most of all horrified of the kind of malice that they were capable of.

All she could think about was how Kakashi could _not_ feel utterly dejected and alone right now. Just a moment ago on the phone, he seemed fine… just as he had for these past few days, but how could he really be? It was like he had completely given up. Maybe he was acting strong for her sake, but knowing everything that she did, the only place he should be right now was here at home by her side. He shouldn't be forced into dealing with this by himself, but now he was doing just that while she was stuck here.

She understood his reason in why he wanted her to stay. He wanted to protect her just as much as she wanted to protect him. Now that he was gone, she wasn't sure if she could really keep going on like this. As each day neared before he returned to Osaka, she could barely get by with her studies knowing that he was leaving her behind. She kept thinking about quitting school altogether. Trying to focus on college seemed like a joke compared to everything else that was going on. Nothing else mattered. What was the point in going when all she could think about was Kakashi and the possible danger he was in?

It was hard enough not being able to tell anyone the real reason why he accepted the position. People naturally assumed it was something to celebrate - like a justice had been won. The revealed circumstances behind the murder of his parents, only to be none other than the former longstanding CEO of his family's business, to the eye of the general public, he was simply getting what he was rightfully entitled to. Smiling to everyone as if she meant it and repeatedly saying that she was happy for him - when she wasn't in the slightest - was difficult. Her mother was also pleased about the news and she couldn't say she was surprised at her reaction. After finally coming around to the idea of her being with a man who was not only quite older, but a former teacher who was making a modest high school based salary, what mother wouldn't want their daughter to possibly marry someone with a high social status, bringing potential wealth and importance to the Haruno family? Sakura secretly felt a little bitter towards her mother's enthusiasm because of it, even though she knew it was just normal. But it made her wonder if Kakashi had been a part of his family's company all along, would she have still given her grief about their relationship like she did in the beginning? Was money all that mattered?

Plucking another piece of grass, she grumbled out another sigh as she tried to think about the more important issues at hand right now. Shouldn't Kakashi just tell the police everything and come home? Couldn't they protect them? But then again, without any evidence, their word against a giant corporate figure wouldn't amount to anything. If he up and left the position, she was more than okay with the ridiculous blackmail photos to smear their relationship, but it would mess up his reputation forever. Then there was the matter of whether or not his family would cause either of them more harm beyond that. That's what she worried about the most, and figured Kakashi no doubt felt the same.

Dropping her head low, she combed her fingers into her bangs in distress. Was there really nothing they could do? Was there nothing she could do? Was she that powerless? If she couldn't do anything to help, at the very least, she should just be with him for now. Screw school. She could go back at any time. She was only nineteen. Who cares if she graduated a year or two later? Sure, medical school was a long and tiring process within itself, but she still had the rest of her life ahead of her. She had the time to spare.

But Kakashi had made it very clear that he wanted her to stay. He wanted her to, for her own safety, and at the very least he did say he would let her live with him in Osaka if he thought it was okay, but would that ever really happen? She didn't want to possibly endure the entire fall _and_ spring semester in Tokyo without him.

Feeling at a complete loss, she sighed once more and rubbed her temples for a moment. "I don't know what to do," she mumbled.

Hearing the screen door from behind creak open, she jolted her head back up from her hands and swept the fallen strands of hair to the side. Turning to look over her shoulder, Iruka stood by the doorway, holding open the door wide enough so that his head poked through.

Offering an apologetic look, he said, "Hey, Sakura-san, we're about to turn in for the night. You're more than welcome to stay out here, but just be sure and lock up when you're done."

Nodding, Sakura replied, "Oh, sure no problem… and thank you both again for letting me stay here for a few weeks. I hope it's not too much of a burden for your family having me here."

Being modest of her gratitude, he waved it off with a shrug. "Not at all. If you couldn't tell from how much Kumiko was clinging to you since you've arrived, everyone is quite happy to have you here," he said with a heartfelt laugh. "We're always glad to help you and Kakashi anytime. My wife and I certainly consider you both our friends, so you only just have to ask."

Forming a small smile, she said, "Thanks, Iruka-san. I really do appreciate it."

Looking like he was about to turn back inside, he paused, tapping a single finger against the white doorframe in thought before clearing his throat. Hesitating with his next few words, he began to say, "Look, um… Sakura-san, I've known Kakashi for quite some time, and I just can't help but feel like there's something he's not telling me about his decision to leave for Osaka all of the sudden. I do get that his family's business truly belongs to him, but, well…" His voice trailed off, looking a bit unsure of what to say next. "I don't mean to pry and you don't have to answer this, but are you two okay?"

A mix of fear and confusion washed over her features at first, unsure how to respond to his question. If Kakashi's sudden decision wasn't already a concern to his close friend, her staying with his family was probably also another strange sign that something else was wrong.

"Oh, well…" Sakura bit her lip as she tried to choose her words carefully. She wanted to offer at least some kind of explanation, but she was afraid of saying much of anything due to Zokushi's threats to keep silent.

Trying to fill the awkward silence, Iruka added, "I just ask because, well… you've both seemed kind of out of it lately and I know he's not very experienced with relationships. I'm sure he'd be mortified if he heard me saying this, but you're truly his first serious girlfriend, and with everything that's happening in his life lately, I just can't help but worry if it's been putting a big strain on you both. I know how much he cares for you, Sakura, so as friend I worry."

"Ah, um… I guess that's kind of it," she replied. It wasn't really the case, but it made sense how he would assume that it would be. It was hard on them both when he learned about who was behind his parents' deaths, but never to the point where she would want to be apart. She never regretted being by his side.

"I figured it was, but he never wants to talk about that kind of stuff." Shrugging, he sheepishly scratched the bridge of his scarred nose. "I think he finds it embarrassing."

Forming a weak smile, she glanced away for a moment. "It's just something he just has to do right now and I support him. We're still together and everything, but he just needs to um… figure out his priorities first. He has a lot on his plate as it is, so I'd rather just have him take his time when it comes to us."

"It takes a lot of maturity to understand that, so I'm glad to hear you see it that way. He just needs some time right now. It's a lot to process."

Nodding, she added, "Yeah, you're right."

"Anyway, I know we don't know each other that well, but if you ever need to talk to someone, we're here for you with that, too."

"Appreciate it. I'll keep that in mind," she replied with a pressed smile.

Watching him nod and bid a final goodnight, her smile fell when she turned back to look out towards the night's endless star-filled sky. Frowning slightly, she inwardly sighed at her predicament. Feeling like this situation was way over her head to begin with, God knows she wanted to confide in someone. Needing to keep silent about everything until she figured out what to do was one of the reasons why she chose to stay here with the Umino family instead of her mother. She was on better terms with her now, but the older Haruno was good at sensing when something was amiss with her only daughter. There was no doubt in her mind that the woman would prod her with relentless questions for days on end until she found out the truth.

The opportunity to tell Iruka was just as tempting though. Not only was he kind and level headed, but he wasn't a fool either. Just now he knew enough to question that something felt wrong with not just his friend, but her as well. The difference between Iruka and her mother was that he respected their privacy enough not to ask too many unwanted questions.

Wanting to tell the police, or at the very least _someone_ _,_ had been on her mind ever since they arrived back from Osaka a week ago. On some days the words felt like they were right at the edge of her lips, ready to tumble out at a moment's notice. But the uncertainty of what might happen if she did caused her to pause each time. Being several hundred miles away from Osaka, she wasn't sure how Zokushi could seriously ever know if she did unless it affected him directly. Telling the authorities would certainly do so, but trying to seek advice with someone wouldn't unless she was being watched. It just seemed very unlikely that was the case… but she just couldn't know for sure.  


* * *

  
With a heavy sigh, Kakashi straightened up from the couch he was slouching against, placing his phone down on the cushion beside him. Hearing the worry in Sakura's voice made him feel guilty, but he had to admit deep down he felt the same. He just wished he didn't have to put her through this. It didn't help that he wasn't sure in the slightest that this was the right decision. He had turned back at the last minute before boarding the plane trying to talk himself out of it. He figured that as long as they were together, it wouldn't even matter what happened to his reputation. He didn't have to make a living as a teacher… or frankly at all with the amount of savings he had. It was just a good outlet for him. He could inspire people with the very thing that helped him pull through his own childhood… and if he had to give it up, he would, but he just wasn't sure if he would like all the consequences that went along with it. There was too much uncertainty. If there was even a sliver of possibility Sakura could get hurt… he just couldn't blatantly ignore it.

Standing up, he folded his arms across his chest and glanced around at his new living arrangements. Wanting to call Sakura first thing, he hadn't explored the place just yet.

Finding himself standing in the middle of the multi-million penthouse, part of him felt surprised Zokushi would actually place him anywhere so luxurious, but given he was playing the role of a CEO and President to a well-known corporation across not just Japan, but the world, perhaps this was simply something that people expected to see and simply made sure that he appeared that way. After all, in the business world image was everything. People believed your lifestyle made a statement about your worth and ability to lead other people into success.

Adjacent to the living room he was in, there was a wide balcony complete with various patio furniture and decorative plants. Stepping outside, he braced his elbows against the glass railing and took in the view of the city. Not even one star could be found in the dark sky, but the illuminated skyline of buildings made up for it until he recognized what was just across from him. Recognizing the H&H building, he narrowed his eyes in disgust. Of course his cousin made sure he had to stare at what he despised most.

Turning back inside, he wandered from room to room, his eyes following along the hidden dim lights featured in the high trey ceilings above. Every lamp within the space had a soft yellow glow, complimenting the rich and minimal interior designs of each room. Overall there were three bedrooms, two kitchens, a common room, and two and a half baths which he thought was completely overkill for one man.

Inside the master bedroom, he pulled back the sheer white curtains, exposing the large glass windows that nearly wrapped around half of the room. Although the city was beautiful, he couldn't quite bring himself to enjoy it under the circumstances of why he was there in the first place.

Turning towards the king-sized bed, his fingers dragged across the plush fabric for a moment until reaching the headboard. Touching the smooth curved rim of the polished dark wood, his mind triggered back to the unsettling idea that he was probably being watched. He felt foolish in some ways, but ever since Zokushi revealed that they had been filmed within their bedroom in Paris without their knowledge, he just couldn't help but be concerned. Debating searching the room in detail to ease his paranoia, he figured he could save it for tomorrow. Waiting until the very last minute to fly back here, he took the final evening flight and was feeling pretty tired.

Pushing back from the bed, he made his way back to the living room where had dropped his stuff. As he promised, he only brought what he could carry, bringing a small bag which had only a few clothes to workout and sleep in, a handful of Icha Icha books and a few toiletries. Back in the master bedroom, he plopped his bag on the bed and unzipped it to change into something more comfortable. When he was done, he pulled out a book before searching for the closet which was tucked away around the corner at the end of his room past the bathroom.

Opening the large sliding door, he was surprised when he switched on the lights to find that the giant walk-in closet was completely filled to the brim with brand new clothes and shoes. The majority of the collection was suits, along with button-up dress shirts and neatly pressed pants. At the very end of the closet was a dresser that a large accessory wall of ties hung above.

"Great, I'm Cinderella," he muttered unenthusiastically, pulling out a few hangers to examine the size which all seemed to match to his physique.

Noting that the suits all seemed custom made, it caused him to be even more skeptical of why Zokushi was being so generous. Was it just to be a pretentious prick? The living arrangements were one thing he could understand to look the part, but the absurd amount of clothing wasn't necessary in the slightest. Twenty suits maybe, but not nearly two-hundred.

Dropping his small bag to the carpeted floor, he shoved it against the wall before turning off the lights to leave. After figuring out how to turn off the lights along the ceiling so he could just keep one lamp on instead, he crawled under the covers of his bed and picked up the Icha Icha book he had pulled out earlier. In his attempts to not think about everything right now, he read several pages of his orange novel until his eyes grew heavy with sleep.

The worry was still ever present in the back of mind, but he held on to the hope of his words that he had told Sakura before he left: that everything was going to be okay and that there wasn't a need to worry. Eventually things would go back to how it used to be before anything changed…

He knew logically that some things would never be the same, but he had to believe that nothing between them ever would. That was all that really mattered anyway. Besides wanting to protect Sakura, it was the only thing keeping him going at this point.  


* * *

  
"Hatake-sama."

"Hatake-sama, it's time to get up."

"…"

Barely cracking open an eye, he groaned and sucked in a sleepy breath. Turning his head towards the source of the voice, he blinked several times to adjust his eyes against the bright orange halo of light flooding into the room. Near the foot of the bed, he saw a silhouette of a woman with short spiky hair patiently standing by.

Forcing himself to sit up, he rubbed his eyes as he tiredly cracked out, "W-who are you?"

Bowing once, she politely said, "My name is Sasaki Fumiyo. I've been assigned as your personal housekeeper. Breakfast is ready in the dining room whenever you're ready, Hatake-sama."

"Uh..." Before he had a chance to say anything more, she had bowed and dismissed herself out of the room.

Scratching his messy hair, he sighed and wondered how necessary it was to have a housekeeper. He was more than capable of taking care of himself, but then again, it added to the _'allure'_ of his assigned role. His father had a staff of about twenty to take care of the house and landscaping, but they resided inside a large mansion which did need the help to keep it maintained.

Right now, he'd rather be alone while he was stuck here and decided he would dismiss her services later. Twisting his arms up from beneath the bedding, he stretched and glanced at the clock by his nightstand. Seeing that it was only six in the morning, an annoyed groan left his lips while trying to resist the urge to collapse back into bed. Reluctantly throwing back the sheets, he rose from the bed and started to wander into the dining room, finding the idea of having a hot breakfast to be quite tempting as motivation to get up.

Fumiyo stood waiting, bowing once he entered. Having a better look at her now, he realized that she was quite older with a petite frame. Her hair was very short, peppered with spots of gray. She had a kind round face, but with signs of age around her eyes. At least she seemed harmless.

Claiming the chair that had a place setting ready for him, the woman disappeared before returning from the kitchen with a tray filled will a variety of traditional breakfast items such as miso soup, natto and broiled fish.

He watched as the dishes were set out carefully before him with practiced ease, making him feel a bit uncomfortable. This wasn't the lifestyle he was accustomed to anymore like when he was a kid.

Pressing a thin smile to his lips, he nodded in gratitude when she was finished. "Thanks, this looks really delicious."

"It's my pleasure, Hatake-sama," Fumiyo replied, folding the now empty tray against her stomach. Bowing, she stepped back and stood off to the side, staring intently as he broke apart a pair of chopsticks that were laid out against his plate.

With a questionable glance at her stare, he asked, "Is there… anything else?"

"Oh, no, Hatake-sama… I'm sorry," she apologized. "I, well… it's just that you look so much like your late father. I've never seen a picture of you without your mask before."

Raising a hand to feel the scratchy bristles of his chin, he had forgotten that he had taken it off before getting into bed. He supposed it didn't really matter if she saw. It's not like he had anything to hide. Living with Sakura had made him used to strictly wearing it when they were going out in public.

"Did you know my father?" he asked curiously, beginning to scoop out some portions of rice with his chopsticks onto his plate.

"I never had the opportunity to, but my late sister did. She always had nice things to say about your side of the family… and when I heard that my staffing company was looking for someone specifically for you, I just had to volunteer."

He hummed in thought at that, repeating, "Volunteered? Then I'm guessing that means others were apprehensive to?"

"Um… well, it's not my place to say, Hatake-sama," she replied nervously, wringing her worn hands.

Studying her uneasy gaze, he encouraged, "You're more than welcome to tell me anything. Speak your mind, you don't have to worry."

Pausing at first, she began to confess, "The Hatake family kind of has a reputation, and, um, well-"

"-It's okay," Kakashi cut in, offering her a sad smile. "You don't have to say anything more. Trust me when I say that I understand."

Looking surprised at his words at first, she returned the smile. Kakashi's eyes shifted down to his meal, slowly picking it apart as he thought. He found it a bit depressing that his family's name had generally become associated to being terrible to their hired helpers. His father and mother were always considerate and thankful, but his uncle on the other hand acted like those who made minimum wage weren't people. He would make a maid burst into tears from something so insignificant. It's like he needed the power trip all the time to feel better about himself. Stereotypically it was how some wealthy families tended to act towards their staff, but just not as cruel as his uncle was.

Feeling bad for wanting to let her go after hearing that she wanted the job because of the kindness of his father, he supposed he could have her stick around for awhile. Clearing his throat, he said, "You're welcome to go have some breakfast yourself. Thank you for cooking this for me. Since it's just me here, I know it won't take you too long to tidy up, so as soon as you're done you can go home for the day. Sound good?"

After a bow, she said, "Yes, Hatake-sama, I appreciate that."

"Just Kakashi is fine."

"Yes Kakashi-sama."

Chuckling a bit, he watched her dismiss herself to leave into the kitchen. Once he finished the rest of his meal, he went back into the master bedroom to take a shower. The bathroom was huge, featuring double sinks, a large whirlpool tub in one corner and a shower with a tall see-through glass stall in the other. His perverted side couldn't help but imagine what Sakura might look like pressed up against the glass.

Feeling himself becoming awake in a place where he didn't need to be, he sighed at himself. He did not need to start his day off by missing Sakura already. It hadn't even been twenty four hours yet since he last saw her. Was he that hopelessly in love with her?

_Yes._

He couldn't deny that he did. He already missed not waking up next to her this morning. He missed the scent of her light rose-colored hair, her tender kisses and comforting words. He wanted her to come with him, but just couldn't take the risk. She needed to stay back home until he dealt with things here. He wanted to protect her the best way he could right now, and that meant she needed to not be here.

He really wasn't even sure if she should come to visit this weekend, but knew he would just be tormenting himself even more. He'd gone through enough agony. Without a little light in his life right now, he wasn't going to last very long. She was his only happiness right now.

After taking a shower and reluctantly outfitting himself in one of the many suits from his closet, it wasn't long before he heard the door buzz which was answered by Fumiyo. It was Ishida, stating that he had come to pick him up.

When he was ready to leave, they both stepped outside into the hallway. "Once we arrive," Ishida started to explain, "I'll be escorting you around H&H. Zokushi-san has strict orders that you do not leave my sight until you return here."

"Of course, I'm basically a prisoner after all, right?" Kakashi scoffed with a glare.

Ishida said nothing as he presented him with a black folder that had been tucked away under his arm. "This is your agenda for today. Let's go, shall we?"

Not responding, he simply followed Ishida to the elevators of the building while thumbing through the schedule. His day was filled with a lot of obligatory meet and greets, but paused at line which made him alarmed.

"Press conference?" he asked aloud.

After pushing the down button for the elevator, Ishida replied, "You're going to have to get used to those. It's a CEO's job to personally talk with the public."

Grimacing at knowing nearly all with that title were the public faces of the company, he wondered if there was a way to work around it. It really wasn't absolutely necessary that he _had_ to do it. There were companies that specifically hired a public relations person to handle it. He already hated how much he was out there in the press as is; he didn't want to make it any worse.

Sighing that he'll have to talk to Zokushi about it, he wasn't looking forward to that exchange. Feeling one of the pockets of his suit jacket buzz, he reached inside to pull out his phone to see that it was a text from Sakura. She had probably just woken up and was getting ready for classes today. She wished him a good day, also saying how much she wished she was there which brought a hidden smile to his face.

The commute in morning traffic to the H&H building only took about ten minutes. When they arrived, he followed Ishida through the winding long halls of the building until they reached one of the top floors. As he walked, everyone he passed introduced themselves. Given how nice everyone was acting, he tried to at least pretend that he cared.

Ishida opened the door to a large office, revealing a waiting Zokushi who was leaning against the desk with folded arms. Stepping inside, Kakashi looked back as his escort remained outside, quietly closing the door behind him.

"I trust that you had a pleasant flight and rest last night?" Zokushi asked lightly.

Narrowing his eyes, he replied, "I seriously doubt you care."

Sighing, he adjusted his slipping dark glasses as he pushed off from the desk. "Now, now, Kakashi-kun, there's no need to sound so bitter. A little gratitude wouldn't kill you. I'm being very generous in having you reside in that estate while you're here."

"Yes, now all of a sudden we're friends," he dryly mocked with a false smile. "Like that really makes up for the fact that you're forcing me here against my will."

Rolling his eyes, he let out an annoyed sigh. "Right, whatever. Forgive me for trying to be nice to you for rightfully choosing to go along with this, but I forget you weren't brought up with etiquette to appreciate something better than an average hotel."

Glaring, he opened his mouth to retort, but stopped as Zokushi plucked the agenda folder from his hands.

"Anyway," Zokushi began, making a bored presenting motion with a single hand. "This is your temporary office until we finish remodeling the old one. It will take about another day or two."

"What old one?"

"My father's old office. You know the saying, out with the old, in with new, right? It's important that comes across to everyone here at the company while you pretend to run things."

"Um, right…" Irked that he would have to be in the same room his uncle worked in, his thoughts shifted to about where all his stuff would be going to. Maybe he could find something useful in the old files. "Where's all the old stuff going then?"

"It's being dumped," he flatly answered, moving towards the desk to pick up a piece of paper. "So don't worry about it."

Humming, he watched as Zokushi slipped a paper in his folder. Holding it up, he said, "Enclosed is the newly approved speech I want you to read at the conference. Familiarize yourself with it before it's time."

Not making a move to take it, Kakashi glanced at it before saying, "Yeah, about that… I think it's better if you choose someone specifically to represent the company for press meetings. I'm not cut out for that kind of thing."

Looking at him like he had grown a third head, Zokushi made a single laugh. "Uh, no. It's important that you do it. Everyone is interested in you right now. The only way we can make up for the plummet of our stocks is to rebrand who's behind the company now that it's not being run by a murderer."

"Ah, which is why you obviously can't do it either," Kakashi muttered out.

Annoyed, he slapped the file back to his chest with a burning glare. "Read it over. Show up to the meetings. If I'm not around, people around here will hold your hand and tell you what to do and where to go. Every paper that's given to you goes through me first and last."

Grabbing the file, he murmured, "…I'm not doing the press conference. Find someone else."

"This isn't negotiable. You either do it or pay for the consequences."

Kakashi bit the inside of his cheek, trying not to lose his patience. "Right, and about that. If you're so concerned about the image of the company, wouldn't your little blackmail scheme just makes things worse?"

"Anything can be twisted into a positive with the right spin, just like what I'm trying to do here by bringing you in. You don't want to do it? _Fine._ You can walk out of here right now and drag down everyone around you, especially that girl you adore so much. It's much more than blackmail, idiot. That's child's play. When I'm done with you, you won't have anything else to live for anymore."

"…"

Looking pleased at the silent response, he added, "And since there's a large probability that we'll make even more than we had in decades, I'm not going to have you muck it up just because you're camera shy. Do it or else. Nothing's ever negotiable. Don't forget that. Like I've told you before, do as I say and we won't have problems."

With a feigned sigh, Zokushi stepped back and walked to the door to leave. Before turning the knob he said, "Oh, and you'll be taking off your little weird mask for the press conference."

Kakashi's chest suddenly began to fill with anxiety. "You can't be serious…"

"The public needs to see who's behind it to gain any sort of trust with the company again," he explained with irritation. "People sympathize with you right now, but they don't know who you are and what your commitment is to your new role within the company. You can either do it, or breach our contract and leave right now. No ifs, ands or buts," he replied, casting him an unsympathetic look before slamming the door behind him.

"…"

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Newp, I'm not dead, but I did have a nice out of state vacation which contributed to the huge delay of updating. I'm guessing no one noticed though? *gives you delicious bribe cookies to make it so*
> 
> As always, thanks very much reading, commenting and stickin' with me. Hope you enjoyed this chapter in someway. Until next update~
> 
> Chapter edited by: [denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	46. What Do You Go Home to?

**Chapter 46: What Do You Go Home to?**

  
  
Watching Zokushi storm off through the partially closed blinds of the office, Kakashi lifted the folder from his chest and tossed it aside on the desk in frustration. Inhaling a calming breath, he let out a shaky sigh to diffuse his building anger. Shaking his head, he walked towards one of the tall wide windows that overlooked the bustling city.

Slipping his hands into the smooth fabric pockets of his suit jacket, he leaned against the thick metal frame of the window staring out into the distance at the small specks of people and cars passing below in the streets. What he wouldn't give to freely join them and be done with this whole place. It was only the first day, but right now all he wanted was to just leave this building without any consequences. He knew he wasn't going to like things from the start, but he honestly didn't have the faintest idea of what he was getting himself into - other than pretending like he was running a corporation.  
  
As if things could ever be that easy.

Tugging down the edge of his snug mask, he stared at his pale reflection in the glass and contemplated of really going through with Zokushi's request. If he did the press conference and revealed his face, then there really wouldn't be much reason to wear it out in public anymore. But deep down he had to ask himself if he honestly wanted to keep wearing it for the rest of his life. After all these years he had grown to be so attached to a few inches of fabric, but why?

It was a question he was often asked, but rarely answered, even to himself. Originally wearing it to karate practice for fun as a kid, it turned from being a costume to an obscure shield from the paparazzi that he had grown to heavily rely on after his parents' sudden deaths. The initial point of wearing it was so that he could still freely walk around in public places before he became well known in the media, but after awhile it never seemed to fail how many people would still recognize him with his unique silver hair and fair-skinned complexion, no matter if he wore the mask or not. If he wasn't careful leaving his uncle’s home, once he was spotted by the media, cameras would follow him from place to place around the city making an unwelcome spectacle form around him when all he wanted was to just be alone.

And then when people would greet him at social functions that he was forced to attend by his uncle, they would always comment how much he looked like his late father. After a while, every comment felt like a pressing weight within his heart. He couldn't take it anymore, becoming dependent on wearing a mask all the time to avoid the constant reminder of his loss. Most people wrote it off as childish behavior he would outgrow in time, but never did. Besides, back then one of the things he hated most was being told to smile more when he didn’t have anything to smile about. Why fake it when he could always hide behind a mask?

Years later, when he finally began to leave his worst memories behind after he left to be on his own, he had become so comfortable wearing a mask or anything similar on a daily basis that he did so without a second a thought. He had learned to shrug off and ignore the curiosity from strangers and friends, later evolving it into a game of sorts of never revealing himself like it was such a big mystery. Most people did find his questionable accessory a bit bizarre, but his true friends had always accepted him for what he was and it was something he had always deeply appreciated. If someone could look past it, he respected the person all the more. He was glad that Sakura was no different in loving him despite his growing list of faults. It felt nice being accepted as he was unlike how his relatives had criticized him growing up.

With a low hum, Kakashi also realized that his mask wasn’t just a game to distance himself from people, but also was like a test. The more he thought about it, the sadder it seemed in hindsight. It shouldn't have to take something like that to gauge trust in someone to accept him for who is was. 

Running a fingertip across his soft bare lips, he wondered if it would really be that hard to let it go when he probably should have a long time ago. He was a grown man after all, yet he still had these unspoken fears about revealing his face in public and relying on his mask for comfort as he did as a little kid. He was no longer bitter or saddened about closely resembling his father. In fact, he was quite proud to look like the only man he had ever looked up to or respected.  
  
It took many years to get that point, but he had finally come to terms about everything on some level. That brief peace was shattered weeks ago leaving him with only more unresolved questions surrounding their tragic deaths than answers, but like with everything else in his life, he needed to move forward, even if he was being forced to. It would be for the best for him in the long run, wouldn't it?

"Easier said than done," Kakashi said with a faint grumble, repositioning his mask once again as he moved away from the window.

Walking back towards the desk, he trailed his fingers along the polished cherry wood edge, following the smooth crafted surface before reaching towards one of the scattered papers that had spilled from the folder earlier. With a reluctant sigh, he reorganized them before sitting down in the plush office chair. As he read through the proposed speech Zokushi wanted him to give at the press conference, he held back a scoff while his eyes scanned each predictable line. It was just as he figured it would be. Entirely filled with marketing buzz words and political drabble about how he would proclaim his goal of leading the corporation into a new era and honor his family's name under what his father had built.

Leaning back in the chair, he placed the speech down and debated if this was truly what he really wanted to do. Then again, did he really have a choice? Hearing a light knock erupt his thoughts, he looked up to see Ishida crack the door enough to speak.

"There's a meeting you need to attend that's starting soon, Hatake-san. Are you ready to go to the conference room?" the dark suited man asked.

"Um, yeah, sure…" Kakashi muttered, collecting the file before sitting up to leave towards the door and follow Ishida.

Before the press conference, the first thing on his agenda was a proper meet and greet of all the board members of the company. Having briefly met a few of them at the formal signing for him to take over, he hoped that it would go by fast. When he arrived inside the main meeting room, the air wasn't as tense as it was last time, but as Zokushi's brother Ichiro began to lead the meeting, the man clearly still wasn't thrilled that he was here, making it a point to not look at him unless necessary.

Keeping up forced eye-crinkles of a smile at each board member Kakashi formally greeted, as the meeting dragged on he would occasionally glance towards Ichiro in contemplation of trying to personally talk with him. Was he even aware of the circumstances that his little brother was forcing him into with this ridiculous situation? If not, then maybe he could use his help to get a better handle on Zokushi. Hell, maybe they could even strike up a deal that so that he and Sakura could be left alone and end things here for good. There wasn't any other reason why he was here in the first place. He wanted her to not only be safe, but to be left alone. He didn't have any desire to be a part of this corporation from the start, but if it came down to the choice of giving up the company to Ichiro though, he wasn't sure if he liked that idea much better than giving it to Zokushi, seriously doubting that the older brother could ever be the lesser of the two evils. He would rather give it to someone who deserved it and wasn't filled with endless greed, but in reality that’s how most people in the business industry were.

Kakashi wasn't sure if trying to reach out to Ichiro would be worth it, but he didn't have a lot of options to being with though. What else did he have to lose?

When the meeting was adjourned, he quickly gathered his papers and stood up from his chair to catch his older cousin before he could walk past him.

"Ichiro-san," Kakashi forced himself to call out politely. "Can I have a word with you?"

Annoyed, the man sighed as he halted in his hurried steps before impatiently glancing at his watch. "What is it then?"

"Can I talk to you privately?" he pressed.

"About?"

"Well, it's-"

Feeling a hand brace against his shoulder, Zokushi had appeared beside him with a friendly smile. "Kakashi-san, shouldn't we be heading towards the press area in the main lobby? We need to get ready for your public debut. Let's not bother my busy brother, mm?"

With a raised brow, Ichiro glanced between them both before casting his brother a thankful look and exiting through the conference doors. Zokushi led Kakashi outside into the hall, slowly escorting him towards the elevators behind everyone else who had previously been in the meeting.

Checking so that no one would overhear him, Zokushi sharply whispered, "And what was it that you needed to talk to my brother about?"

After a moment of a silence, Kakashi sighed and replied, "Nothing."

Narrowing a glare as he abruptly broke his firm hold against his shoulder, he adjusted his glasses before shifting through a few papers he had pressed against his chest. "Yeah, that's what I thought," he murmured with a hint of annoyance. Raising his eyes to Kakashi, he said, "And we're going to keep it that way, got it? You don't have any business speaking with him, _ever_."

Weakly returning a look to his silver-haired cousin as one of the elevators chimed, he dryly muttered, "Yeah, I got it…"

Stepping inside the elevator, Kakashi leaned against the cool marble backing to make room for more people. He nearly rolled his eyes as Zokushi brightly began to chat to someone, his irritated mood completely vanishing from just a moment ago.

He certainly was quite the actor.

Noticing curious stares his way, Kakashi pulled out the folder tucked from beneath his arm and pretended to be busy reading to avoid any conversation on his side as his thoughts drifted.

Now he felt even more convinced that Ichiro wasn't aware of his little brother's scheme of dragging him here. Since he took over of what was supposed to be his role, why else would Zokushi act so persistent about never speaking with Ichiro? Knowing how much the man seemed to dislike him already, he wasn't sure what good would come out of it even if he did manage to, but felt that he needed to try if he didn't find any other options soon. He wasn't sure how long he could manage staying here and playing along with his cousin’s games… and the idea of staying for months on end doing his bidding did not sit well with him at all. He wasn't sure if he could even manage a week at this point.

When the elevator dinged on the second floor, he followed Zokushi out into the hall which opened up into an extensive two story lobby. Lightly trailing his fingers along the smooth glass railing as he walked, he observed the bottom floor below. His heart plummeted as he saw several rows of people and cameras surrounding a small podium at the top of a makeshift stage.

Walking towards the staircase that led to the first floor below, each increasing step he took felt heavier as his stomach slowly increased in unforgiving knots. Upon reaching the edge of the blue backdrop of curtains behind the stage that faced the audience, he carefully pulled back just enough to get a closer peek at what he already knew was waiting for him.

Glancing across the many seats filled with unfamiliar faces, he lingered at a few photographers prepping their digital cameras, and feeling like his heart was beating faster by the second. Swallowing down the lump that had formed within his throat, he inwardly sighed when it hit him how truly unprepared he was. Maybe it was different for people who were used to giving speeches and press conferences on a daily basis, but how could anyone with no experience do the same with barely a moment's notice?  
  
Meeting Zokushi's eyes, all he could figure was that he was doing this on purpose, either to just mess with him or to be an ass. Probably the latter since his cousin knew how much he hated the press.

After a brief contemplative look, Zokushi approached after wrapping up his conversation with someone. "So, Kakashi-san," he greeted in an even tone, lifting his left hand for a moment to check his watch. "Are you ready?"

Not feeling so in the slightest, Kakashi opened his folder with a sigh and thumbed through the first few pages of the speech that he was supposed to recite. "You realize I've barely had any time to prepare, don't you?"

"All you have to do is just read. It's not _that_ difficult, is it?" he replied in a condescending tone.  
  
Unamused, Kakashi said, "You know it requires much more than that."

"Hardly."

Annoyed, Kakashi opened his mouth to retort, "You don't even-"  
  
"-If you're having second thoughts about this, you're still more than welcome to just leave," he cut in. "For a price of course… which I'm sure you're well aware of."

Trying his best not to grow any more irritated, Kakashi quietly shook his head and bitterly swallowed back down his words. As much as he would love to leave, they both knew it was hardly an option.

Seemingly pleased by the moment of silence, Zokushi pointed towards the left side of the stage and added, "Go ahead and wait over there. One of my assistants will be introducing you shortly. Just follow the speech and there won't be any problems. Oh, and don't forget your mask."

Warily moving towards the direction, the heavy feeling within his chest from before was weighing down in full force as he stopped at the shadowed edge of an open-sided curtain. He watched someone step up to the stage, prompting a flicker of flashes and hushed silence as the man welcomed everyone to the conference.  
  
Kakashi flinched at the flickering lights that washed over the man whose words were drowned out by his own inner thoughts, feeling more uneasy and wavering in uncertainty as every second passed. He knew he needed to get a grip, and fast. Taking in several quiet deep breaths, it didn't seem to help his prickling nerves that were slowly beginning to spread throughout his veins.  
  
Why did this conference feel like a giant setup for failure? Was that Zokushi's intention all along? Or was this simply a stupid test to prove he could follow orders in the dreaded following weeks to come?  
  
Nervously fidgeting with the speech in his hands, he glanced over to the wooden podium and wondered multiple times how in the hell was he seriously going to pull this off. He tried to remind himself this was only as much as a big deal as he made it out to be, but how could it not be? While he was gradually becoming number around paparazzi since news first broke out about his parents' true deaths, he still hadn't shown his face in public since he was a child.  
  
He felt so stupid right now feeling this insufferable anxiety about not only marching up there in front of cameras, but about leaving his mask down. He knew all the excuses why he shouldn't even care about it anymore, yet why did something so simple have to feel so damn difficult?  
  
Barely reaching a hand towards his masked chin with the intention to pull down, his fingers melted back down to his papers again when his heart felt like it was about to jump into his throat.

Wasn't he a master of hiding his emotions? Where was that indifferent and aloof man people usually described him to be?

_‘That person never really existed.'_

He couldn't kid himself. He was always capable of emotions. That was what the mask mostly hid: his true feelings of loss and fleeting moments of happiness. He had always been able to smile, be angry… or sad. It's just that for a longest time, he repressed or covered most of it until he met her...

 _‘…Sakura.'_  
  
Nervously crumpling the edge of the speech in hand, he felt his face drain and his heart sink when he heard his name called followed by a round of applause. There was a small hope in the back of his mind that it wasn't his cue to already head up there, but the man on stage held a wide open arm in his direction, motioning him to come out from behind the long curtains.  
  
Lifting a single finger towards the top of his mask, Kakashi slowly pulled it down against his mind automatically telling him not to. Again and again, he told himself he could do it. He could do something as simple as this. He was capable. He could do anything if he put his mind to it.  
  
Wanting to prove to himself that he could do it, his body was struggling to even cooperate. His feet weighed like cement blocks as he forced himself to take one step forward.

And then another.  
  
Before he knew it, he found himself at the top of the stairs, barely aware of shaking the hand of his introducer before standing behind the podium. Placing his papers down on top of the wooden surface, his hands were trembling and he couldn't understand why.  
  
Placing his hands within his pockets to hide it, he forced a smile as he acknowledged the crowd with a look which met him with multiple flashes and clicks of shutters around him. Glancing back down at the notes of his speech, he blinked several times still seeing white blurred circles washing over the words before him.

 _‘Just pretend.'_  
   
Pretend that he wasn't here right now. Pretend that he wasn't being forced like a puppet at the hands of people he wish he was never related to. Pretend to be the actor he was supposed to be for who knows how long. He had to. It was the only way he was ever going get through this endless bullshit.  
  
Inhaling a deep breath, the bright overhead lamps that lit up the stage bared down on him like the sun as he stood slightly slumped in an awkward silence of what felt like minutes, but in reality was only a few seconds.

Feeling nauseous and lightheaded beneath the hot lights, he inwardly cringed as he felt sweat roll down the spine of his back beneath his dress shirt. He wasn't sure if he was going to make it after all.  
  
Hesitantly looking up towards the video camera in the center, he parted his exposed lips before saying, "Sorry…"  
  
  
 **  
**

* * *

****  
  
  
Tapping the end of her pencil against her desk, Sakura stared out the window nearly in a trance as the rain tapped repeatedly against the glass. All she could manage to do lately was worry and barely get by completing all of her classes’ homework on time. It was so hard to care when she’d rather be with Kakashi than here.

"Haruno Sakura."  
  
She jolted towards the front, realizing that the classroom she was sitting in was entirely empty.

"You can stop daydreaming and go home now, Haruno-san. Class is over," her professor said with mild disappointment.

Mortified, she quickly packed her things that were scattered across her desk and stood up with an apologetic bow. "Very sorry, Saito-sensei…"

"It's alright, Haruno-san. I know not all my lectures are very riveting most days, but I am cutting you some slack since you have been doing well in my class. But finals are in two weeks, and I’d hate for your grades to slip now."

"I will do my best, Saito-sensei," she replied, bowing once more before rushing out the door and into the hall ~~s~~.  
  
Cheeks still prickling red with embarrassment, she quickly walked down the corridor until she was near one of the many exits of the building. Pausing, she rummaged through her bag to see if she had her umbrella with her today, but quickly realized that she didn't.  
  
Sighing, she turned her attention back to the rain for a moment, suddenly reminded about when she and Kakashi first talked on a rainy day such as this, except instead of forgetting her umbrella, she had forgotten her wallet. He had been kind enough to buy her lunch, claiming a silly excuse that he didn't want to see a former student starve to death.  
  
Quietly grinning to herself at the fond memory, her smile soon fell now that she was only missing him all the more. Part of her wished that her concerns about him were simply going overboard like any other normal girlfriend might react, but had she plenty of reasons to be sincerely worried…  
  
And to make matters worse, she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach since her last visit to Osaka, no matter how hard she tried to ignore it. She couldn't seem to sleep lately and she couldn't manage to eat very much. Focusing on classes was now even more of a challenge.

How was she going to get through this?

While it would be academically stupid to drop out now with only two weeks left in the late summer semester, the more she thought about returning to Tokyo without him for the Fall term, the more and more she hated the idea. Being already sick with worry, a phone call each night wasn’t going to be enough for very long. She wanted to be there.  
  
As she watched the water stream down against the windows, she wondered how against the idea Kakashi really was of her coming to stay with him. For her it seemed like the best solution. It would make her happier, and she hoped it would be a relief for him to have someone to come home to instead of being alone every day. Biting her lip as she pondered, at least she will have the next few weeks to convince him of the idea, but she supposed it would all depend on how safe he felt she could be from staying so close to H&H with him. She couldn't blame him for the things Zokushi seemed to be capable of… and that was the main reason why she was worried for Kakashi. No, more like scared...  
  
Exhaling a deep breath to relieve the ache in her chest, she still felt the same emptiness. Still trying to fully convince herself that she would be more at ease if she was closer to him, she was pretty sure it would be the best thing. The better option would be for Kakashi to get the hell out of there, but that left her with the same question she'd been stuck trying to figure out since the beginning.  
  
‘ _How?’_  
  
Adjusting the slipping bag against her shoulder, she finally moved through the double doors and into the storm outside, uncaring if she got wet anymore once she decided that she just wanted to go straight home to Iruka's. Ice cold rain greeted her as she made her way to the student parking lot, dampening her pink locks into a dark rose colored shade. Crossing her arms to suppress a small shudder from a chill, she felt a little silly being the only person on the sidewalk without an umbrella, but figured there were much worse things to worry about.  
  
It wasn't like her to skip classes, but knowing she wasn't going to pay much attention today, she felt there really wasn't much point in going. Frowning slightly at her sour attitude and mood today, she supposed it was normal every once in awhile.  
  
By the time she reached Kakashi's car he had let her borrow while he was away, she was soaked to the bone. Once she reached Iruka's house, she quietly slipped into the house from the back porch to avoid tracking in a big dripping mess into the living room. She hurried to her guest bedroom in hopes of not running into Sachi; the last thing she wanted was to make Iruka's wife worried over her. The woman was already more than kind enough towards her during her first few days here, going completely out of her way to make sure she was comfortable.  
  
Peeling off her wet clothes until she was left with just her underwear, she grabbed a towel and lightly rubbed her hair, wrapping it tightly around herself before crawling into her warm futon. With a relaxing sigh, she felt very tempted to fall asleep, but figured she shouldn't if she still wanted to wake up and make an effort in going to classes tomorrow.  
  
Wiggling to her bag she had dropped by the bed, she pulled out her phone and frowned slightly at seeing no new messages. She couldn't help but wonder how Kakashi's first day must be going… he hadn't replied yet to her first text this morning wishing him a good day. She could only imagine he must be having quite the busy schedule. What all was Zokushi going to make him do? Was he actually going to make him do work? Did he have other plans in mind for Kakashi to do something else?  
  
Her chest had that tight feeling again. Was this why she felt so worried today? Because she knew that it was his first official day there? Biting her lip again as she clicked through her phone looking for nothing in particular, she realized that could be why she felt so especially out of it today.  
  
Tempted to send another text, she decided to wait till a little later not wanting to possibly interrupt him. Tossing her phone on the pillow beside her, she sat up slightly on her elbows and grabbed the remote to the small television that sat on a small dresser in her room.  
  
Slowly flipping through the different channels in hopes of finding an interesting talk show late in the morning, she paused after thinking she had just saw a flash of silver hair on the previous channel she had just skipped. Feeling her heart beat a little faster, she changed it back as her mouth fell open in shock at what she saw.  
  
She couldn't believe it as she watched Kakashi's unconcealed lips move without the confines of his usual mask. At first his ridged slumped posture seemed to ease as he subtly appeared to be trying to get a hold of himself, swallowing down whatever trepidations he had before clearing his throat.

He forced a smile, excusing his awkwardness which prompted a sympathetic laugh from the audience.

Nervously clutching the base of her necklace against her chest, she stared in bewilderment as the news segment briefly cut away to the anchors short commentary before showing more footage of the conference. Her heart drummed as she strained to hear the varying words he spoke. It wasn't that she couldn't hear him, but it was hard to focus against the buzz of questions in her mind.  
  
‘ _Why? How? Is he okay’_  
  
Never had Kakashi ever mentioned wanting to be so open about his face to the public. It seemed so out of character for him. While she always felt he had nothing to hide or be ashamed of, she respected his personal reasons for wearing his mask. She loved him and everything that made Kakashi, Kakashi. Now as he stood behind the podium trying his best to seem collected, she knew there was no way he could possibly be okay with this.  
  
Seeing Zokushi standing off to the side, her heart instantly welled up with anger. Why else would Kakashi have done something like this unless being forced to? How could his cousin do something like this? He must have known that Kakashi had always worn his mask for most of his life, much less his trepidations about the press.  
  
But as the news cut away again to talk about H &H's newest rising CEO and President before moving on to the next headline of the day, Sakura frowned in concern wondering if he was okay after having to do something like that. It couldn't have been easy.  
  
Reaching for her phone from the pillow beside her, she quickly texted asking if he was alright, saying that she had seen him on television.  
  
Sighing, she lay down on her futon and stared at the phone for a moment in hopes that he would reply soon, but it wasn't long before her phone slowly slipped from her fingers as she drifted off to sleep.  
  
 ****  
  


* * *

 

"I'm surprised," Zokushi said, leading the way down the walkway towards the waiting elevators near the back of the building. "You did better than I expected."

"Yeah, I bet," Kakashi said with a stale reply. Purposely dropping something like this in the morning without advanced notice, he was sure it probably would have amused his cousin to no end if he had completely choked up. He almost did at the start, nearly overwhelmed by his original impulse to panic. The only way he was able to make it was pretending he was just talking to Sakura like it was any other day. It was hard to imagine her there though, with all the eyes and lights on him.

Pulling at the edge of his mask to tug it back up out of habit, he managed to drop it again, leaving it pooled beneath his bare chin. He needed to let it go, didn’t he? This is what he wanted at some point in his life, he just didn’t think it would have been today, or being shown so damn publicly for the first time.

"In fact,” Zokushi added, “You've done so well that I think we may have to set up a couple of press junkets. I'll have someone get started on working on some questions and answers for you to start memorizing."

Kakashi let out an irritated sigh as he watched the doors open before them, loathing the idea of having to do anything more relating to public relations and the stupid media. He held his tongue until they stepped inside the elevator since people were nearby within earshot.

Biting his inner cheek as he waited for the doors to close after Zokushi pressed a button, he spat out in a concerned tone, "Look, I've already done this ridiculous conference without any warning from you whatsoever. I'd rather not do anything else requiring me to stand in front of more cameras."

The younger Hatake folded his arms, returning a bored look through his tilted dark glasses. “Well, thankfully your opinion doesn't matter.”

“...”

With a faint scoff, he added, "We won't have you go anywhere that you’ll be asked anything other than what we tell you to rehearse for, so don't worry so much over it. Like I said earlier, nothing’s negotiable. Deal with it.”  
  
Fingers clenching into a fist within his pockets, Kakashi wanted nothing more than to smack that arrogant look off Zokushi’s face. This was how the rest of the coming weeks were going to go, wasn’t it?  
  
He didn’t like it one bit.  
  
Being pushed around and talked down to just as he was all those years ago as a kid. He had enough of it between his uncle and other meaningless relatives before he finally left that place.

How could he possibly last much longer like this?  
  
He didn’t want to hit his breaking point again. Not after how much he struggled to bounce back from the dark place he was before. He wasn’t sure if his younger cousin was simply testing his commitment to play along or just purposely being a jackass. Either way, it was hard to remain silent and just _deal with it_.  
  
It was hard letting things go. It was hard feeling like he was constantly getting beaten down at every turn of his entire life.  
  
It was easy in wanting to give up.  
  
Staring out the exposed glass backing of the elevator as it rose up several floors, he watched the city move in the connected streets around them, contemplating what he felt were his only two choices. He could either continue putting up with Zokushi’s requests, or walk away knowing he could cause harm to the only person left in his life that he loved.  
  
Maybe they could be okay. Maybe it could turn out to be something they could overcome with a little time and patience, but the lingering threat of something more than that was what made him stay petrified as he did now.  
  
As the elevator signaled a familiar chime to mark its final arrival, Kakashi shifted his attention back to the floor they had entered. Ishida was waiting for them both, bowing before whispering something into Zokushi’s ear.  
  
Nodding with an irritated look, Zokushi turned back and said, “I have a brunch I need to attend. Ishida will escort you to your other meetings today. It’s mostly introductions with each department and a few papers they will probably give you to look over which you don’t have to. All I ask is that you attempt to be pleasant with people.”

“I’m always pleasant,” he remarked dryly. Looking to Ishida, he sighed before saying, “Well let’s get this over with.”  
  


 

* * *

  
  
  
Unlocking the front door to his new temporary home, he was surprised Ishida didn’t follow him into the damn building as he had with everywhere else today like a gnat. He hardly had much time to eat attending an endless string of meetings. Who knew talking all day could be so exhausting?  
  
Loosening the knot of his tie with one hand, he tiredly sighed as he dropped a large packet of papers beneath a lamp that detailed objectives, goals and figures of each department. The only thing he could thank Zokushi for was that he wasn’t required to learn any of it. If he did, he would be far more miserable than he already was.  
  
Kicking off his shoes by the doorway, he slipped off his suit jacket, folding it over one arm before reaching his bedroom. Soft moonlight poured into his room before he flipped on the switch. Noting that the sheets and bedding were neatly remade, he had almost forgotten about his new housemaid Fumiyo. Wanting to give her a chance to work here, it was going to take some time to get used to seeing her in the mornings. He had to admit he was interested in hearing a bit more about her sister who had worked for his father. Any kind of memories of his late family were better than nothing. He wasn’t left with many himself.  
  
Glancing at the clock, he couldn’t believe how late it was already. Before doing anything else, he wanted to call Sakura first. He had wanted to text her all day to tell her he was alright, but never had a free moment to as he was constantly going from meeting into the next.  
  
Taking out his phone, he called her and smiled for the first time today from the sound of her voice.

“Hi,” he greeted nonchalantly despite his childlike grinning. Rushing to speak before she could get past a hello, he added, “I wanted to order a large thin crust pizza.”

_“Kaka-”_

“Extra cheese, pepperoni, onion, mushrooms, half pineapple, half extra pepperoni.”

_“Kakas-”_

“Wait, wait. Scratch that. I’ll just have some breadsticks with some marinara sauce and chicken wings.”

“ _Kakashi_ ,” Sakura replied in an unamused tone. “I’m not Pizza Hut.”

“Oh, sorry… wrong number,” he playfully said while trying to hide quiet chuckle. “Talk to you later.”

 _“Kakashi!!”_  
  
He madly smiled. “I’m just kidding, Sakura-chan.”  
  
Cradling his cell against his shoulder, the joke seemed to be on him now that he felt extra hungry not having eaten dinner yet. Walking towards the nearest of the two kitchens the penthouse offered, he felt relieved finding a nice assortment of fresh food to choose from to make himself a quick dinner tonight.  
  
As he began to prepare a small rice cooker as they talked, just like he had feared, she sounded quite worried after seeing him on television. When she asked if he was okay, he assured to her that he was. A few moments ago he certainly wasn’t, but talking to her seemed to melt some of the stress away. It almost made him forget why he was here.  
  
 _“So, your really went the entire day without it? How does it feel?”_ she questioned.

“It’s um… honestly kind of strange,” he confessed. Still without his mask as he came home, he felt rather different without the extra fabric hugging against his cheeks. Throughout the day he had attempted to pull at an invisible mask out of habit that wasn’t there anymore.

Wanting to change the subject and avoid talking about his unpleasant day of being escorted everywhere without much room to breathe, he asked, “How were your classes today? Learn anything exciting?”  
  
She strangely fell silent before giving a general response that her classes went well as usual, talking more so about the rain and casually mentioning how she accidentally hydroplaned on the road while going home, scratching his car along a barbwire fence.

“You what?” he choked out, nearly dropping the phone on top of the chopping board he was using to slice a few carrots.

 _“I’m kidding, Kakashi-kun. That’s what you get for earlier..”_  
  
He breathed a little easier, swearing he could hear muffled giggling on the other end. Narrowing his eyes at a single piece of carrot as he spoke with a smirk, he lightly said something to the effect how he was going to delightfully pay her back for her little lie later.

Sitting at the dining table forty minutes later, he reluctantly said he needed to go and promised he would call tomorrow, wishing her a good night while playfully arguing how he missed her much more than she did him. Their conversations always seemed to turn that way which he was thankful for. It made him feel like a silly teenager, but he couldn’t help it. Besides, he learned that age was nothing but a number after all.  
  
Placing his phone on the table with a tired yawn, he picked up a wooden pair of chopsticks he had found in one of the drawers in the kitchen, scooping up a morsel of his freshly made vegetable fried rice dish to his parted lips.  
  
All that could be heard as he ate were the faint taps of his utensils against his plate. It was so quiet inside the apartment. Too quiet. Back then this kind of peace was something that he longed for when he was on his own. Now it was hard to get used to after living all those months side by side with Sakura.  
  
At least she would be visiting for the first time this weekend, if he made it that far gauging by his irritating first day. He still was secretly on the fence of letting her visit or not. It probably would be a good idea to just have her come next week, but he felt slightly selfish in not wanting to wait that long. He needed her, even if it was only for just a brief moment.  
  
Picking at the leftovers on his plate, he sat up and rinsed his dishes in the sink before returning back to his bedroom. Glancing over at the dimly lit walls, he reached for the circular light switch to make the room a little brighter. He felt beyond dead tired already and wanted to get ready for bed, but he couldn’t rest until he put his mind at ease.  
  
Rolling up the sleeves of his buttoned-up white shirt, he placed his hands on his hips as he surveyed the dauntingly large room. He was lucky that the decorations were more of a minimalist design, so there were few furniture pieces within the room. Starting with the night stand, he smoothed a finger beneath the edges, soon lifting up and checking the glass lamp before flipping the table over to check.  
  
Running a finger over every shelf and picture frame, he removed and checked everything that he could that was within the room. He even took out the wall socket plates with the help of a small screwdriver he had found tucked away in the utility closet of the apartment. Standing on the very edge of the bed, he also unscrewed the ceiling fan for any sign of wires that had no place to be there.  
  
Finally dragging a dining chair into the room after painstakingly checking the walls for any small signs of holes or marks, he sighed at himself for feeling so paranoid about the room possibly being bugged with cameras. He couldn’t blame himself after what Zokushi had done… and knew for as long as he was going to live here, he wouldn’t ever feel right about freely talking without checking for even the slightest hint of a possibility from now on.  
  
Finding nothing, he decided to save the bathroom for tomorrow. At least for now he could sleep a little easier. He wasn’t looking forward to checking over the rest of the large penthouse, but felt it was something that just had to be done for his own sanity.  
  
Falling into bed after changing into some dark blue cotton pants to sleep in, he had forgotten to turn off the lights, but was too tired to get up again. Instead, he simply buried his face into his soft lush pillow, unconsciously pulling at the other pillow beside him into his arms wishing it was a certain pink-haired woman instead.  
  
Tomorrow would be another fun-filled day at H&H. He hoped that the next few days would be easier, but he wasn’t going to hold his breath. Zokushi seemed hell-bent on bringing him nothing but misery in one form or another. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do about possibly having to go through more press.  
  
A breathless sigh left his lips as he fell asleep. All he wanted was this horrible dream to be over. All he wanted was to just go home.  
  
 _TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long it’s been since the last update! Trust me when I say how much I hate myself for it. Life and a creative rut really makes for bad writing (which may be evident in this chapter I’m sure)
> 
> Did my best though, and nearly halfway done on next chapter. Just want to say how much I appreciate the kind comments and concerned PMs I’ve gotten from yall in the past few months in regards to the story and myself. You guys are too patient and way too nice.
> 
> Thank you for that, and thank you for reading. 
> 
> Until next update~ 
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	47. Days Turn into Nights

**Chapter 47: Days Turn into Nights**

 

 

 

 _“Kakashi.”_  
 _  
_A thick stack of papers loudly plopped down onthe desk, startling the silver-haired man who was seated there out of the trance of his thoughts. Resisting the urge to glare at his cousin, Kakashi looked down at the various papers scattered before him. “And what are these?” he asked with a tired sigh.  
  
“I’m not going to repeat myself,” Zokushi uttered in annoyance. “You should have paid attention the first time when I was speaking to you.”  
  
“Sorry,” he lowly murmured. With an inward sigh, he sat up from his office chair and stacked the papers together in a neat single pile. “I’ll look these over later tonight then.”  
  
Glancing at the clock that was striped with amber light from the glowing sunset that peeked through the window’s blinds, Kakashi nearly felt like jumping up and down for joy that he could finally leave this God-forsaken office and enjoy a small two day break. His first week here at H &H hadn’t been an easy one in the slightest. While he never expected it to be easy in the first place, he didn’t think it could have ever been this difficult and draining. The public speech he was forced to do his first day here without his mask really set the tone for the rest of the week. All Zokushi did was practically breathe down his neck, snapping at him if he didn’t act a certain way or do something exactly as he wanted it. It was like his cousin was going out of his way to try and push every button just to irritate him to no end. He was having serious doubts to how much longer he was going to last like this. Could he even handle another week? Much less the possibility of months?  
  
”You’re free to go for the day,” Zokushi announced. “We’ll pick this back up on Monday. Oh, and it’s my understanding that your little girlfriend is staying over the weekend, is that correct?”  
  
Glancing up from his papers, Kakashi pursed his lips. He was actually on his way to go pick her up at the airport after he left. Since everything he did went through Zokushi’s assistant Ishida who escorted him everywhere, he supposed he wasn’t surprised that his cousin would know she was visiting this weekend.  
  
“Um, yeah,” he finally replied.  
  
Zokushi hummed. “Works out perfect then.”  
  
With a questionable look, Kakashi added, “Sorry?”  
  
“There’s a formal company fundraiser tomorrow and I want you both to be there,” he simply stated.  
  
Irritated at not hearing any mention of some party until now, Kakashi did not want to purposely drag Sakura into anything else that dealt with this stupid company. That was part of their deal for him staying here. She was supposed to be left alone.

“Are you kidding me?” he snapped. “Look, I’ll come but I don’t want her being forced into going as well. She only came just to see me this weekend. That’s it.”  
  
Turning to leave towards the door, Zokushi sighed and said, “And that’s very touching, but it’s not going to change my mind. If she wasn’t already coming, I would have decided otherwise, but since that’s not the case I want both of you there. It’s a black tie event, so be sure and get something suitable for you both to wear tomorrow. Ishida will take care of chauffeuring you in the morning and evening. Don’t disappointment me, goodnight.”  
  
Clenching his fists as he watched him leave, Kakashi fought back the urge to punch his desk. He was so sick and tired of this shit. Every day this week his cousin seemed determined to get under his skin and constantly berate him for one thing or another when he was trying his best to do as he was told to keep him happy, but it never seemed to be enough. It was fucking exhausting. With each new passing day he felt so bitter, Zokushi only reminded him more and more of his worthless uncle and his hate for this family he was tied into by blood.  
  
Dropping back down in his chair, he took in a deep breath to vent out his frustrations as he held his head within his hands for a moment. The headache he’d had all day certainly wasn’t helping. He wondered if it ever was going to get any easier, but he was definitely having his doubts. He had hopes of perhaps finding something – anything - that he could use against his cousin in defense against the pictures so he could walk away from this. His uncle’s old office had already been cleaned out days before and is currently being remodeled for him to unwillingly take. Trying to find something incriminating in Zokushi’s office seemed like a pipe dream due to the amount of staff and cameras that surrounded his office on the same floor. He would easily get noticed, not to mention he was always being chaperoned by Ishida wherever he went. His hands felt tied, but he supposed he already knew that the moment Zokushi threatened him.  
  
What other options did he have?  
  
Sighing, he stood up and grabbed his files. Walking over to the side of his desk, he opened a black leather briefcase and half-heartedly tossed the papers inside with the other folders and briefing packets he’d accumulated today. Once he snapped it shut, he grabbed it before turning off the lights. Exiting outside his office, he glanced up to see Ishida waiting for him like usual.  
  
“Ready to go to the airport, Hatake-san?” Ishida asked.  
  
“Yeah,” Kakashi muttered.  
  
In no mood to make conversation, he pulled out his phone within his side pocket and began texting to Sakura that he was on his way to pick her up. Glancing up from his phone on occasion, he uttered back goodbyes as a few people around the office wished him a good weekend. The people around the multiple offices within the building tended to try and make conversations with him. Perhaps to make him feel welcomed throughout the week or just out of obligation of his title. He supposed perhaps some of them genuinely meant it. It’s not like most had any knowledge about how corrupted his family was after his father lost control of the company. He had to remind himself not everyone was like Zokushi. At least he hoped.  
  
Street lamps flickered on one by one as Ishida drove him about an hour south from H&H’s headquarters to the city’s international airport. It was built on a small man-made island on Osaka Bay which he had visited often as a young child with his mother to see his father off on business trips.  
  
Staring out into the glistening horizon of water dotted with boats, he slouched more into the backseat of the car as he leaned against the window. He was reminded that seeing the long coastline used to fill him with dread knowing that he was going to have to say goodbye to his father who would disappear for weeks at a time out of the country. But when his father was coming home, nothing made him more excited than seeing the ocean and going across the long bridge that reached the airport. He knew that he was close to seeing him again. What he would give to greet him one last time… or to say goodbye.  
  
Snapping out of his thoughts as the car rolled to a stop, Ishida turned back from the driver’s seat and said, “I’ll go wait for Ms. Haruno and escort her here, Hatake-san.”  
  
Already unbuckling his seat belt, Kakashi lifted a hand up for him to remain in place. Opening the door, he said, “Not necessary. Just stay here and wait for us.”  
  
“But-”  
  
Slamming the door shut, he reached into the inside of his suit jacket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. He felt like an idiot wearing them, but they had helped since he stopped using his mask this week in public. He was surprised that he had even less unwarranted attention from strangers when he strode past unless they happened to look his way and recognize him from the news. Without his mask, he blended more into the crowd which was the only plus side to him being forced to forgo his mask at the press conference. In hindsight he supposed wearing it always did make him stand out more than he could have ever wanted, but was so used to it throughout the years and it was something he always was reluctant to let go of for one reason or another. He strangely always found a small piece of comfort with it. Scratching his bare chin, it still felt odd without it.  
  
Familiar with where to go, he placed his hands within his pockets and walked towards the terminal she would be arriving from. Once he heard her plane had arrived over the intercom announcements, he felt slightly silly when his heart began to quicken as he watched a crowded line of people begin to exit. It hadn’t even been that long since he last saw her, but he couldn’t deny how much he missed her. He felt like he was barely keeping himself together throughout this entire week, and having her here did mean a lot to him. As much as he wanted to keep her out of Osaka, he just couldn’t lie to himself. He needed her.  
  
He smiled when he saw her walking out and eagerly searching around. When she spotted him, she squinted in disbelief at first, most likely shocked that he was without his mask for once. Dragging her suitcase behind with two hands, they both met half way across the busy floor.  
  
“What the heck are these?” she teased, letting go of her bag before gently wiggling off his sunglasses. “It’s not even bright outside anymore.”  
  
“It doesn’t make me look cool?” he jested as he pulled her into a warm hug, gently placing a kiss on her lips.  
  
Before he could pull back, she had held his cheeks, kissing him once more. Staring at his face, she caressed a fingertip from under his eyes and along his cheek. “You look tired,” she murmured.  
  
He playfully glared. “Thanks.”

  
“I don’t mean it in a bad way…”  
  
“You looked tired, too, you know.”

Touching her own face, she narrowed her green eyes. “I do not.”   
  
“When did you last sleep?” he curiously asked.  
  
She hummed in thought. “Like, um, today-ish.”  
  
He continued to sternly stare.  
  
“Well I had a test to study for today!” she defended. “ _SoIhaven'treallysleptsinceyesterday_ ,” she rushed together.  
  
“Same,” he said with a grin. “High-five for no sleep.”  
  
He grabbed her hand and playfully forced a high-five. Rolling her eyes, she stole his hand back within hers. With a gentle squeeze, she asked, “So, how are you holding up?”  
  
“I’m fine,” he replied, sounding rather empty behind the few words.  
  
She looked doubtful. “Are you?”  
  
Letting go of her hand, he picked up the handle of her suitcase and began to walk. “Not really, I guess, but I’m managing.”  
  
Feeling her heart drop, she stood still in silence for a moment before falling in step beside him. Staring down at his sunglasses she still had, she wordlessly held them out for him to take back. Once he did, she wondered if now would really be a good time to press him further about what he’d been dealing with all week. On the phone he never would detail much and figured it wasn’t exactly high on his list of things to talk about anyway. No matter if he wanted to share or not, she wanted to be here and support him in whatever way she could. The very least she could do is help him forget everything for a little while.  
  
“Have you eaten yet?” she asked, perking up.  
  
“No, not yet,” he replied.  
  
“Do you want to go out somewhere and eat maybe?”

Scratching the back of his neck, he shook his head. “I’d rather just go… home.”  
  
Glancing to his eyes, she could tell he meant that in more ways than one. “Oh, that’s more than fine. How about I make us dinner then?”  
  
“Well, I already have a lot of leftovers we can eat. So you don’t need to trouble yourself.”  
  
“Oh… okay.”  
  
It was hard to hide the disappointment in her voice. All she wanted to do was something to perhaps cheer him up. Feeling a hand tug at her wrist, her steps slowed before feeling herself being pulled backwards.  
  
Kakashi slowly guided his hand into hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Sakura, don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the offer. I just want you to take it easy is all. You know I love your cooking.” He coughed. “Sometimes.”  
  
Fighting back a grin, she lightly smacked his arm as he smiled. “Jerk.”  
  
Bashfully swaying her shoulders from under his attention, she looked down at their joined hands. She hoped maybe later tonight he’ll want open up a bit more about how he’s really been managing. She couldn’t help but worry. There maybe wasn’t a lot she could do to help, but she could listen.  
  
“Do you think maybe tomorrow we can go out?” she suddenly asked. “Of course, only if you want to. I just… figure it might be nice to do something fun together.”  
  
His smile faded. “About tomorrow…” he despondently murmured. “We have to attend some pointless formal fundraiser for H&H. I’d rather you not come, but Zokushi insists otherwise. I didn’t know about this until about an hour ago, so I’m sorry having to drag you to it.”  
  
“Hey, I don’t mind,” she said cheerfully in hopes to lessen his worry. “I would want to go with you regardless, so don’t worry about it.”

He hummed, looking down towards the floor. 

Sakura frowned slightly at how uneasy he seemed about it. She knew he had his reasons, but they could handle this together. Maybe they could even be surprised and find it kind of fun? Not that she knew anything about high class fundraiser parties like he would. Regardless, she wanted to be at his side.  
  
They said nothing more as he led her outside to their waiting car. Searching for the right words to say, she hesitated each time she parted her lips to speak. As the silence stretched, she supposed he probably had a lot on his mind. Leaning against his chest as the car began to move forward, she had fallen asleep during most of the way. He carefully stirred her awake when they had arrived. Glancing out the window, her eyes met a tall multistory illuminated building she had never seen before.  
  
“You live here?” she asked in almost disbelief. “You never mentioned you lived in a towering castle,” she teased.  
  
He lightly laughed. “It’s a penthouse on the upper floors. It’s a bit too fancy for my tastes, but I guess it could be worse.”  
  
Ishida escorted them from the car to the apartment, unlocking the door and politely holding it open for them both to enter. “I’ll be seeing you tomorrow morning, Hatake-san.”  
  
Kakashi didn’t reply as he watched the man shut the door behind him. Placing Sakura’s bag down along with his briefcase, he turned back to the front door and double locked it before facing Sakura. He smiled at the wonderment in her eyes as she carefully explored, soon wandering off to poke her head from room to room.  
  
Waiting for her to return, he grabbed their things which were still near the door and placed them on the couch for now. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he placed it on a coffee table and connected it to a charger.

  
When she finally returned to the living room, he said, “I was about to send a search party out to find you.”  
  
“Ha ha,” she dryly laughed, lightly touching a few of the framed painted artworks that were hanging along the walls. “I’m pretty sure I’ve seen these in an art book once.”  
  
He sighed. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the real thing.”

Glancing around the penthouse with folded arms, she said, “Geez this place is huge.”  
  
“This living room is probably the size of the first floor of my house back in Tokyo,” he remarked as he loosened his tie. “It’s pretty ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Just a little bit,” she replied, watching as he undid the first few buttons of his white dress shirt which prompted her to grin. “You do look quite handsome in suits, you know.”  
  
“Is that so?” he stated matter of factly with a knowing smile.  
  
Feeling her cheeks blush, Sakura spun around and looked towards her fidgeting hands, halfway pretending she was looking at the art once again. Through the blur of everything that had happened these past few weeks, it had been awhile for them both, and she certainly missed him.  
  
Kakashi seemed to have been reading her mind when she suddenly felt his warm inviting lips brush against the nape of her neck. He lingered there before trailing gentle kisses down to her collarbone which sent shivers down to her spine. Melting her back against his chest, she hummed in approval.  
  
His hands slipped beneath her shirt, tenderly brushing his fingertips at her sides which caused her to slightly squirm against him, feeling both ticklish from his touches and yearn for him at the same time. Clutching the fabric of his pants behind her as he dipped her slightly to nibble along her ear, she slowly moved a hand to caress his desire, encouraging him to go even further.  
  
Turning around to eagerly meet her lips with his, she smoothed her hands beneath his suit jacket and began to slowly unbutton the rest of his dress shirt with only two fingers. As each button was freed, she left a kiss in its place against his chest, trailing down towards his lean stomach. Yanking him forward by his belt, she began to unbuckle it as he pressed her against the wall and ravaged her mouth with his. When she unzipped his pants, he suddenly broke their heated kiss.  
  
“Sakura, wait,” he whispered, clenching his eyes tight as he pressed his forehead against the wall beside her. Steadying his breath, he looked down in regret as she stood frozen against him. “I… I can’t do this.”  
  
Feeling a lump rise in her throat, it was hard to understand why tears suddenly formed in her eyes seconds later. Afraid she had done something to upset him, she swallowed the burning ache in her throat and sucked in a breath to keep herself from unraveling. “I-I don’t understand,” she choked out. “What’s wrong?”  
  
He shook his head. “I just… as much as I want to… and please believe me that I do, I just can’t here. I feel so paranoid staying here no matter what the hell I do. I hate this place… I just can’t, I’m sorry. I don’t want to disappoint you. I shouldn’t have even tried since I wasn’t entirely sure that I could follow through, but I wanted to… I…”  
  
Noticing that she had turned away, he took a step back and moved the tip of her chin with his knuckle to face him. His heart ached with guilt when he saw that she was crying. “Sakura,” he sadly murmured. “It’s not your fault whatsoever. It’s just this place is all. Please don’t cry…”  
  
“S-Sorry,” she whispered.  
  
Her face flushed as she looked down in embarrassment, hastily wiping her eyes. She could more than understand his reasons for not wanting to. She knew it wasn’t personal, and yet it still unbearably hurt all the same like a dagger had been cut through her heart. She felt so stupid.  
  
Moving away from his arms to give them space, she looked back to see him redress himself. Her chest tightened as she went to grab her bag from the couch. “I-I’ll go change for the night,” she stuttered.  
  
Without another word, she quickly headed towards the master bedroom she had briefly peeked at earlier when she was glancing through the rooms. More tears rolled down her cheeks as soon as she stepped inside. Pressing the back of hand against her mouth to muffle her crying, she couldn’t understand why she was acting this way. It seemed so childish and as he had simply told her, it wasn’t her fault. She knew it… she understood it, but still. Here she was crying against her will.  
  
Maybe it was because of how much she wanted to help him forget this place and his cursed family, but felt like she couldn’t do much for him, if at all, even as his girlfriend. She hated feeling so helpless throughout this entire ordeal. It was slowly killing her. Using her shirt to wipe her face as she changed her clothes, she wondered if it was just the guilt of knowing that he was staying in this place he hated so much for just her sake. She frowned at that thought as it festered in her mind. Did she feel guilty?  
  
After she had finished changing clothes, she placed her bag on a chair and sat on the edge of the bed once she heard his approaching footsteps. Wiping her eyes one last time, she held her breath in hoping she didn’t look like she had been crying. Her eyes met his as the door slowly creaked open. He paused at the doorway once he saw her.  
  
Glancing down, she could already tell that he knew that she had been crying as much as she tried to hide it. Inwardly scolding herself, she couldn’t help but feel she was only making things worse being here, and she hadn’t stayed longer than two hours now. This isn’t what she wanted.  
  
Kakashi entered and took a seat beside her on the bed, staring at her with a mix of guilt and concern etched across his face. “Sakura… I’m really sorry.”  
  
She shook her head trying to fight back her earlier feelings that held a stern grip around her heart. “I’m fine, Kakashi. I’m sorry about before. I really do understand. I’m just… let’s just drop it, okay? Just please trust me when I say that I completely understand. I’m not mad at you.”  
  
Clenching his hands at his knees, he didn’t seem to want to leave it at that, but after a long silence, he sighed and replied, “Alright... if you’re sure.”

“Let’s get something to eat,” she forcefully perked up, standing up from the bed. “Then I think we both need some good rest.”

“Agreed,” Kakashi replied with a broken smile.  
  
Letting him lead the way into the kitchen, she quietly trailed behind him feeling emptier with each step. Watching him take a couple things out of the refrigerator, he heated up a few dishes before searching the high cabinets for some plates. When the food was warm enough to eat, she helped portion out some rice and a stir fry with vegetables between them.  
  
Taking a seat beside him in the large dining room, her eyes stayed down at her plate for nearly the entire time. The strained air between them wasn’t helping her case in saying that she was fine, and they both knew it. She felt so foolish. It was amazing how she really did manage to make him feel worse without even trying. If she went back home after this weekend on a bad note she wasn’t sure if she would be able to live with herself. He said he hated this place… he was enduring all of this for her. She already felt horrible knowing he was forced to stay here, but as she stole a glance she pressed her lips at seeing how quietly upset he looked, making her feel all the more guilty.  
  
Idly swirling her chopsticks against her plate, she murmured, “I wish you could just come home, Kakashi.”  
  
“So do I.”  
  
She took in a deep breath. “Then why don’t you?” she seriously asked. “Screw his threats. At this point I really don’t care anymore about those edited pictures of us. Let him release them if he wants. People can believe in whatever they want about us, but you and I both know the truth exactly when we first got together. That has to count for something and we’ll tell everyone just that.”   
  
“You know it’s not just that, Sakura,” he replied, slumping his shoulders slightly forward. “We’ve talked about this before. I’m more scared than anything else something will happen to you. As much as I want to leave, I can’t. If Zokushi is capable of killing his own father, then he is more than capable to harm you as well. It’s not an empty threat.”  
  
“I’d rather risk that chance if it meant you can just come back home.”  
  
“Then you’re stupid,” he bluntly said.  
  
Flinching at the sting of his words, Sakura dropped her chopsticks with a loud clatter against her dish.   
  
He immediately regretted the words. “Sakura, I didn’t-”  
  
“How is it any better than this?” she cut in. Her vision began to blur with tears and for once felt thankful he was avoiding her gaze. “How can you even trust he won’t do anything even after he finally says you can leave?”  
  
Staring down at the long white linen table cloth beneath his plate, he let out a sigh and shook his head. “I don’t, but it’s the best option we have right now.”  
  
After a long silence, she stood up. “I’m going to sleep… Goodnight, Kakashi.”  
  
Kakashi looked up to watch her suddenly leave the dining room. He sighed once more. She had barely even touched her dinner. As he debated chasing after to her or just letting her be to cool off, he inwardly hated how he managed to make her cry twice in a single night. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he felt his day long headache hurt all the more. All he seemed to be capable of doing was pushing her away ever since she got here. Was he letting his frustrations out on her without realizing it? This isn’t what he wanted.  
  
What the hell was he doing?  
  
Standing up, he brushed his hands on a napkin and tossed it on the table before following after her. Finding the bedroom door closed, he gently pushed it open to find the room dimly illuminated with moonlight from the windows that surrounded the master bed. Stepping inside, he quietly closed the door with a click and looked at Sakura’s crumpled silhouette in the sheets at the edge of the bed. His heart sank as she kept her eyes tightly shut.  
  
Glancing back towards the door, he stood for a moment before walking to the other side of the bed. Stripping away his work clothes, he let them crumple to the floor and bared only his boxers as he slipped inside the covers. Sakura’s back was facing him, her hair elegantly fanning across the plush pillows between them which felt like miles instead of inches. He reached out towards her shoulder, but then stopped at the last second. His hand melted back beneath his own pillow.  
  
There were perhaps a million things that he wanted to say in that moment. How much he wished she wasn’t entangled in his mess. How much he also wanted to just go back to Tokyo and return to their lives before all of this happened as much as she did. Never had he ever felt so much happiness and love in his life thanks to her being a part of it. Now it was being ripped away by his family just like most of what little good things he had left in his life.  
  
Closing his eyes, he quietly sighed into his pillow. He could only blame his toxic family for so much though. At the end of the day, he could have said or done things differently instead of hurting her feelings. She was one of the few people left in his life who cared about him. Pulling himself deeper beneath the comfort of the bedding, he whispered, “I’m sorry, Sakura.”  
  
He felt like a real idiot.  


* * *

Feeling a light touch stir her awake, Sakura inhaled a deep breath and groaned. Blinking several times, she realized that she was tightly tucked under the sheets which the fabric against her glowed from what she guessed was from the morning sunlight. A shadow came into view, outreaching a hand to shake her shoulder once more.  
  
“Kakashi-sama, I hate to disturb you, but Ishida-san is already on his way here, sir. I went ahead and prepared your breakfast. You should get ready soon.”  
  
Realizing that it definitely wasn’t Kakashi gently touching her, she shot up from under the covers and screeched in surprise as an older woman yelped back in shock as well.  
  
“Sakura?” a panicked muffled voice sounded in the distance.  
  
Just then the door from the bathroom burst open as Kakashi scrambled through with just a towel loosely wrapped around his hips in haste. Wiping the dripping soap from his eyes as his hair was completely lathered with shampoo, his towel accidentally unraveled from his waist and dropped down to the floor with a thud.  
  
“Oh! I-I-I’m sorry… I-I didn’t know you weren’t, I-I, sorry to disturb you both,” the poor woman stuttered out with a flushed red on her cheeks that rivaled Sakura’s. Bowing deeply several times as she walked backwards, she turned and fled the room after closing the door behind her.  
  
Kakashi sighed with a grimace as he picked up the towel and snugly replaced it around his hips once more. “That would be Sasaki Fumiyo… my housekeeper. I forgot to tell her you’d be coming for the weekend… sorry about that. Are you okay?”  
  
“Oh, yeah I’m fine. I was just startled. Not as much as her I imagine though… she’s probably blind now no thanks to you,” she teased.  
  
He let out an awkward laugh. “You’re probably right.”  
  
“Have you… always had a housekeeper here?” she inquired, curious having never seen him with one throughout their entire relationship together. They couldn’t have changed him that much in a week could they? She never really pictured him wanting to hire one since he liked to do most things himself if given the chance. It was humorous how he’d often fight with her in wanting to do the dishes himself after dinner instead of her.  
  
Carefully wiping his eyes again, he replied, “I should have mentioned her before, I’m sorry. I guess I just didn’t think much about it. She kind of came with the property thanks to my cousin’s doing. I didn’t want to let her go on the first day, so I decided to let her stick around, at least in the mornings, though now I’m not so sure if she wants to anymore.”  
  
Sakura nodded. “Ah, I see...”  
  
Kakashi smiled briefly before turning back towards the bathroom. “I’m going to finish my shower…” He paused for a moment, lingering at the doorway with a hesitant glance. Tapping his fingers nervously on the door frame, he added, “You’re welcome to join… if you want to.”  
  
Surprised at the offer, she was a little confused after last night. “I thought…”  
  
“I think I can manage a shower,” he replied with a sad smile. “Look, I’m really sorry about everything last night. What I said... I was letting things get to me yesterday… or rather my family getting to me. It was foolish on my part. I just… I worry too much. You know how much I love you, Sakura. Letting them come between us is the last thing I need right now. Like I said before… I _do_ miss you. I just… I could have explained it all better, but I didn’t. That’s my fault”  
  
Unable to suppress a smile, Sakura said, “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to act the way I did.”  
  
“You have every right to, so please don’t be sorry about it.”  
  
“It doesn’t mean I didn’t understand though. I do, really… All I want is just to be there for you and show you how much I love you too whenever I can.”  
  
“Then… show me.” Kakashi slyly smiled with a wink before heading inside the steaming bathroom.  
  
His smiles always seemed to make her heart skip a beat. Pressing the sides of her soft warm cheeks, the door shut behind him as she was left with her decision to join him. Of course she wanted to, but was it really what he truly wanted or was he doing it for her sake? He had every right to feel paranoid about their time spent together. Nothing seemed off limits to Zokushi or his family. He managed to invade their privacy in Paris… it was likely he would here as well. Anyone would be irked by the possibility.  
  
Sakura sighed.  
  
She could see what he meant by letting his family get to him. How could it not? But this was part of why she wanted to stay with him here instead of going back to Tokyo without him. Why let his cousin or anyone else try and make their lives more miserable than it has to be? It’s no doubt what they wanted. Why else would they make him stay? Standing up, she straightened her wrinkled pajamas and headed towards the bathroom. With a deep breath and new resolve, she entered inside the steamy white tiled room.  
  
A damp towel immediately was thrown squarely on her head. Removing it from her face with a huff, she flung it back towards the behind of a very naked man. She bit back a smile as he slipped into the shower, rinsing away the last of his soapy darkened silver hair. At least he was in a good mood this morning given everything that had happened last night. She had to wonder what had changed, but was glad. “Kakashi!”  
  
Shrugging away her clothing and tossing it aside on the marbled counter with dual sinks, she entered the tall glass shower and felt his hands gently smooth against her hips, pulling her backwards into an embrace under the main shower head that gently rained hot water against them.  
  
The water felt nice as his chest pressed against her back, kissing the side of her neck and teasingly lapping the streaming water across her soft skin before swirling his tongue in patterns down to her shoulder. She hummed in delight and melted more against him.

“Kakashi… Are you sure? You don’t have to do this… Last night, I understood. I just…”  
  
“Like I said, I want nothing more. I mean it,” he replied.

True to his intentions, Kakashi’s fingers treaded lightly across her breasts, circling a finger around one of her nipples until it hardened beneath his fingertip. Moving his hand down from her chest to her abdomen, he moved even further until he had found her sweet spot.  
  
Her breath hitched as she buckled against him like she had just felt an electric jolt to her nerves. His slow ministrations were working her into a quiet frenzy.

“K-Kakashi,” she said with a shuddered whimper. Drawing her hand back to return the favor, he suddenly grabbed both her wrists and pressed her forward against the misted glass.  
  
“Just let me worry about you,” he whispered into her ear.  
  
“But!”  
  
“No buts. Well, except _your_ butt,” he teased, pressing himself against her from behind. “I happen to like it.”  
  
She could certainly tell he wasn’t lying. Opening her mouth to retort, she gritted her teeth with a hushed moan when he began to move his fingers more firmly between her legs this time. Clinching the steamy glass with a low dragging screech, she was beginning to feel weak in the knees. Kissing and nipping her ear with small bites at her neck that made her whimper, his other hand cupped and gently squeezed her breast as she felt a familiar intensity build. With practiced ease in knowing her body well, he increased the speed of his fingers, teasing her as he would pause to slip a few inside her at a time. Before long she had completely unraveled once she hit her peak. Slumping against him to catch her breath, she squeezed her legs together still feeling the aftermath long after he stopped his ministrations.  
   
Still wanting to please him as he did her, he once again placed her wandering hands against the glass before she could get too close.  “Not fair,” she uttered. “I want to feel you too.”  
  
“Oh, I’m not done yet… but I’m happy to oblige to your request,” he mysteriously added.  
  
“What do you… Aah…”  
  
Teasingly rubbing his tip against her, he slipped inside with a muffled grunt. Pausing to steal a few kisses against her neck and back, he pulled back and guided her hips into his, slowly thrusting in a slow and steady pace.  
  
“K-Kakashi,” she groaned out, soon feeling comfortable enough to meet with each of his thrusts as deep as she could, encouraging him never to stop. “Harder.”  
  
She whimpered a string of incoherent words as he did, her legs nearly giving way as she lost focus of keeping a certain angle so he could fulfill her just right in their current position. She protested when his warm and wet body completely left hers for a moment, spinning her around so that her backside now pressed against the shower’s glass wall. Lifting her leg, he entered her once more, but this time with more force as he increased his pace from before.  
  
“Sakura,” he groaned, occasionally losing his momentum with his hips when his own climbing peak was too much to bear. Wanting to prolong their joining as much as possible, to him there was no better feeling on earth than with her around him like this.  
  
When he finally came undone, they both took a moment to catch their breaths. Standing on her tippy toes to give him a kiss, he suddenly picked her up by the waist which caused her to squeal.  
  
“I got you a little dirty, let me clean you,” Kakashi said with a small laugh, side stepping so that she was completely drenched beneath the stream of the shower head. Pushing back the dark rose color strands of her hair against her face, he held her in an embrace and gently kissed her. “I love you, you know.”  
  
She warmly smiled. “And I love you.”  


* * *

  
  
After their shower which nearly drained all of the hot water, they had a quick bite to eat of the breakfast Fumiyo had prepared for them. Kakashi ushered apologies to his housekeeper for earlier which only made the poor woman look even more embarrassed. Once they were ready, they left with Ishida who had been waiting in the living room. He had been instructed to chauffeur them around Osaka today in finding appropriate attire for the company’s black tie fundraiser tonight.  
  
Although they were being forced to attend, Kakashi surprised himself in enjoying their time together shopping for the event. Maybe it was because he got to see Sakura try on dresses, or maybe it was just nice to do something normal. This week so far had been anything but normal. Next week he was supposed to be prepped for interviews which the idea of having to do more always made his stomach drop. He hated this. It was the kind of life he never wanted, and now he was living his nightmare. He missed teaching. He missed being with Sakura every day and kissing her goodnight.  
  
Once they returned back to his penthouse after their shopping trip, they had a little time to spare before they needed to get ready. Kakashi fought back a tired yawn as he placed their shopping bags on one of the couches inside the living room, carefully laying out Sakura’s new dress and his tuxedo so that they didn’t get wrinkled.  
  
Curiously running his fingers against the plastic that guarded the material, he sighed. “Why is that you let me see you try on the other dresses, but not the one you plan to wear? It’s unfair.”  
  
Plopping down on the opposite couch, she replied, “But then you’d have nothing to look forward to.”  
  
“Cruel is what it is.”  
  
Making a small circular motion with her fingers, she appeared to be playing the world’s smallest violin.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, he walked over and immediately began to tickle her.  
  
“Ah-ha! S-Stop!” she squealed, crouching over to try and block his hands. He didn’t let up until he felt satisfied in his small retaliation.  
  
Kissing her forehead, he sat beside her and sighed. “I hope we’ll be able to leave early tonight. I really can’t stand these things.”  
  
“Are they really that bad?” she softly asked, scooting closer to snuggle against him. “Is it just boring?”  
  
“That’s certainly one reason,” he replied with a small laugh. “But I just have a lot of not so pleasant memories about them. I believe I told you long ago that my family wouldn’t have a lot of great things to say about my mother. Most of that took place at parties like this since everyone who’s a Hatake and holds a stake in the company would be there every time.” He sighed, letting his head fall back into the plush couch. “And that reminds me I’ll probably be seeing some of those relatives there tonight…”  
  
Frowning a little, she shook her head. “That sucks, Kakashi. I hope we can leave early too then. Maybe I could fake sick so that we can?”  
  
He chuckled, ruffling the top of her hair. “That’s sweet of you, Sakura, but you don’t have to do that.”  
  
Already making up her mind in doing so anyway, she simply hummed as a reply. She could understand better now why he was dreading this whole thing; besides that, it was being hosted by the company, namely under Zokushi she was guessing. Having to go to some party filled with a bunch of people you hate wasn’t fun no matter how you looked at it. She could only imagine what it was like when he had to go when he was in his uncle’s care. Glancing to his eyes which were closed, she smiled when he began to lightly snore. Being careful not to disturb him, she relaxed a little more against his chest and joined him in having a short nap before getting ready for the party tonight.  
  
The sun had set behind Osaka’s skyline by the time they were both dressed and escorted by Ishida into the limousine that would be taking them to the fundraiser. Sakura felt a little strangely excited after they began to drive off, but noticed Kakashi’s good mood from before was beginning to fade as he remained silent.  


Kakashi slouched against the back leather seat, feeling a little uncomfortable in his snug black jacket and crisp bow tie. He really hoped that the evening would go fast. Glancing at Sakura’s dress which a sliver of her leg was exposed between the layers of chiffon fabric, he certainly had plenty of reasons in wanting to speed up tonight’s likely boring festivities. As a kid, he had only gone to a few parties with his parents which were a few too many in his opinion. He always wondered if his family were always that cruel and disrespectful to his mother when he wasn’t present, or were they just doing it because he was there. Either way, he was just a kid and nobody seemed to care as they mocked his mother in front of him.  
  
When he had to live with his uncle, he was forced to go to most functions until he was old enough to live on his own. Auctions in particular always seemed to be about who had the most money to flaunt, but he supposed any event tended to be the same. It’s all anyone ever cared about and it was just disgusting to watch.  
  
Glancing out towards the passing houses from his window, his brows furrowed as he leaned in from his seat to take a closer look. Recognizing some of the massive gated mansions they passed, there was a slight look of growing concern on his face.  
  
Sakura had glanced towards him as the leather from his seat shifted as he did, noticing his body seemed suddenly tense. Seeing his expression reflected in the window, she hesitantly asked, “Is something wrong?”  
  
Relaxing a bit under her watch, he moved back from the window. “It’s…. nothing, I’m sure.”  
  
Nodding even though she wasn’t quite convinced that it was nothing, she decided to not prod him anymore about it for now. Playing with the finely beaded halter top of her crimson dress, she wondered how things would go tonight. Looking up from feeling that the car had finally slowed down, she saw that they were now waiting behind a long line of limos. Moving to Kakashi’s side of the car, she looked out one of the many darkened windows to see a large well lit mansion in the distance. This seemed to be the place where the cars were circling into, watching as people were being dropped off in front of the doors.  
  
Wondering if Kakashi had any advice of what she might want to say or do, she parted her red lips to speak, but stopped when she noticed how pale Kakashi looked. His hands were balled into fists at his sides as his knuckles were beginning to turn white.  
  
“Kakashi?” she said in worried tone. “What’s wrong?”  
  
He suddenly struck the side of the door with his fist and cursed. Then again, and again. “Why?” he asked aloud almost sounding in disbelief, slamming his knuckles hard into the arm rest with great force.  
  
Taking hold of his arm to stop him, she was relieved when he didn’t push her away. Placing her fingers over the back of his reddening hand, some of his skin was scraped and began to form light red dots of blood. Scared for him that something was terribly wrong, she asked, “What the hell, Kakashi? Please… talk to me. What’s going on?”  
  
His head lowered into his free hand, looking like he was about to burst again with anger. Closing his eyes tightly, he let out a shaky breath. When she pressed softly again for him to explain, he shook his head like he didn’t know where to begin. Looking back towards a window with a hardened look, he muttered, “This place… It’s my old house where I grew up with my parents before they…”  
  
As he fell silent, she glanced back towards the house in shock. He had every right to be upset as she felt outraged beyond words. How could his family seriously invite him here and throw a party here at a place which marked their very deaths? It was beyond insensitive and inappropriate.  
  
The longer she sat with him with her hand held into his, the more a deep quiet anger grew within. Her face grew hotter the more she thought about what Zokushi had done to not just them, but to Kakashi. What had he ever done to deserve being treated like this? She just couldn’t understand it. She was nearly lost in a trance when their door suddenly opened. They had made it to the front of the house already.  
  
Turning towards him as he reluctantly moved to exit through the car door, she whispered, “We can just go back.”  
  
He shook his head. “You know we can’t, Sakura,” he blankly replied.  
  
Feeling her chest ache at the empty look on his face as he left, she followed behind and took his outreached hand to help her out of the limo. Kakashi looked down towards the stoned covered walkway as they entered inside the opened doors. Eyes immediately fell to them as soon as they entered, but at that moment all she could see was Zokushi standing off to one side of the room candidly talking and laughing with a group of people.  
  
Suddenly breaking from Kakashi’s escorting arm, something inside her snapped as she moved through the crowd of people. Her dress beautifully swayed along with the live music that echoed loudly within the grand foyer. With each step she took her heart began to beat faster. She could faintly hear Kakashi call her name to stop, but she couldn’t. She had enough of these games and the pain of their lives being torn upside down by an elitist jackass who thought he could do whatever he wanted.  
  
Her intention of just speaking her mind suddenly vanished once she had stepped in front of the man as his lips briefly twisted in amusement. Sweeping a disgusted look with folded arms at her sudden presence to interrupt his chatter, there was a loud slap and a clatter before she had realized what she had done. People surrounding them had gasped and murmured as the color in her cheeks drained. Retracting her stinging hand, she regretfully met with Zokushi’s eyes and realized she had hit him so hard that his glasses had fallen to the floor.  
  
Zokushi stared at her with such a chilling intensity that morphed from awe to disbelief before he narrowed his eyes at her. “Pick them up,” he gritted angrily through his teeth. “ _Now_.”  
 _  
_ _TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We meet again, fellow few readers that are probably left. I honestly can’t believe it’s almost been a year since I last updated. I didn’t realize it until someone posted the last update time (I’ve been avoiding looking at it out of guilt… but didn’t think it had been this long and for that I’m sorry. I hate doing that.)
> 
> On a side note, just want to say I appreciate all the concerned messages throughout the months. I try not to get into my personal life often, but for the past year my dad has been fighting cancer, and finally beat it about two months ago. You don’t realize how difficult it is until you watch someone go through it. It’s not easy.
> 
> My hope is to finish Reason this year and will do my best. There’s a few chapters left, but I hope you’ll continue to stick around if you’ve made it this far. I can’t say it enough, but thank you for reading my silly things. :) *throws virtual cookies*
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	48. Love and Death

**Chapter 48: Love and Death**

 

  
“ _Pick it up_ ,” Zokushi haughtily repeated.  
  
Sakura couldn’t believe what she had done - even if he did deserve it. Not responding fast enough for his liking, as she stood frozen in place, he roughly grabbed her arm and nearly pushed her towards the floor before Kakashi had cut in between them.  
  
“Don’t you ever touch her again,” Kakashi furiously spat. “You’ll fucking regret it.”

Before Zokushi could retort, his older brother Ichiro wedged between them, gently pushing them back by the shoulder. “This is not the time nor place,” he said as he shot them both an annoyed look. “All of you go upstairs right now and I’ll deal with this. I will not have you all ruin this fundraiser any further than this girl has already.”

“If you want to blame someone, blame _him_ ,” Kakashi defended.  
  
“Excuse you, but I haven’t done a damn thing to provoke this crazy bitch,” Zokushi fired back.  
  
Grabbing him by his black tie, Kakashi replied, “Watch your mouth. That’s bullshit and you and I both know it.”  
  
With an aggravated grunt, Ichiro separated them once again. “I said _stop it_. God, you are both children.” Snapping his fingers towards a couple of large men who looked like security, he told them to escort them all into a room upstairs.  
  
Unsure of what to say, Sakura’s cheeks flushed as she looked down to avoid several disapproving stares in her direction. Once they were ushered to the top of the long staircase, Kakashi wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her side a reassuring squeeze. Leaning in against her ear, he whispered, “Don’t worry about it. You only did what I’ve wanted to do since the beginning… so thank you for that.”  
  
She wasn’t so sure about that as she stole a glance at Zokushi who seemed to be fuming. What was he going to do now to Kakashi because of her slip of judgment? Did she just screw up their arrangement? She sighed and took in a deep breath. Why did she have to let her anger get the best of her at a time like this? Now she wished she had never come at all this weekend. Despite her guilt, she had to admit it felt good hitting the bastard. Blackmailing Kakashi into this stupid charade needed to stop one way or another, but at what cost? Not knowing was what perhaps scared her the most.  
  
Taken inside of a room of what looked like a small personal library, the door was closed behind them with two guards stationed on the outside. The three of them stood in a tense silence as Zokushi stared them down with folded arms. After a minute, the door opened as Ichiro briefly stepped through, calling for his brother to come outside to speak with him privately.  
  
Watching his cousin leave, Kakashi reluctantly released his hold at her waist as he turned to glance around them. Several rows of dark rich wooden shelves wrapped around the entire room completely filled to the brim with various books. Running a single finger along the worn spines which were lightly covered with traces of dust, he furrowed his brows in confusion as he pulled out one of the books.  
  
“I thought my uncle sold this house… why in the hell did they keep most of this?” Slowly flipping through the pages, he sighed before snapping it shut. “This… this was all of my father’s collection.”  
  
“Kakashi…” Sakura whispered.  
  
“I don’t… I…” Hurt flashed across his eyes as his hands tightly clenched the book. After a moment, he suddenly flung the book across the room in anger.  
  
Sakura flinched as he did so, but understood his inward pain and rage. For all his life he was left with little to remember his parents. Why would they keep something like this away from him? After everything he’d been through it seemed like a never ending nightmare of lies and deceit around every corner of his life. When would it ever end?  
  
Stepping to the thrown book, she knelt down and picked it up from the floor. “I’m sorry, Kakashi…”  
  
He became less tense as he glanced to her. “I’m sorry for putting you through this. You don’t deserve it.”  
  
“No,” she sadly replied with a heavy heart. “You’re the one who doesn’t deserve it.”  
  
“I don’t know,” he faintly said.  
  
“You don’t,” she encouraged. “Nobody deserves something like this.”  
  
Placing the book on a side table, she went to him and pulled him into an embrace. He squeezed her back, stroking his fingers against the back of her hair. “Sakura…”  
  
“Tell Ichiro everything. If you think he really doesn’t know like you’ve told me before, maybe… Just maybe he’ll do the right thing. Didn’t he want this company anyway? Let him have it if he’ll just let us go.”  
  
“I think you’re right,” he softly replied against her ear. “Zokushi has never let me speak with his brother ever since I got here. They could be in on this whole thing together, but it’s worth a shot. Maybe he won’t even believe me, I don’t know.”  
  
“I think it’s worth a try.”  
  
Just then the door opened once more as the brothers stepped inside. Ichiro called for Kakashi to come this time. “I want to hear your side of the story, then the girl’s.”  
  
Casting a concerned look to his younger cousin who was readjusting his newly found glasses, he said, “I don’t want her alone with him. Let her come with us and just wait outside if you want.”  
  
“Sorry, but I don’t want to take the chance she’ll overhear if I still decide to question her. I’ll station one of the guards inside this room if that’s acceptable to you.”  
  
Sighing, Kakashi didn’t like it one bit not having her right at his side, but reluctantly agreed. “Fine, I guess. If there’s no other way.”  
  
Sakura watched as Kakashi glanced to her in worry as a guard stepped inside to take his place. Once they left, she awkwardly looked to Zokushi who intently stared at her with crossed arms. She couldn’t help but feel that something wasn’t quite right as he did so. He didn’t break his gaze as his fingers lightly tapped in agitation, increasing the rhythm as a minute passed before stopping like he had just remembered something.  
  
Turning to the guard, he waved his hand. “Leave us.”  
  
The large man glanced back in confusion, “But sir, your brother said-”  
  
“Need I remind you who pays for your salary? I do. If you want to keep your job, _leave_. Tell the other one outside the door I want you both downstairs. Don’t let anyone else come up to this floor.”  
  
Sakura watched as the man struggled to decide to follow the orders or not, but finally offered her an apologetic glance before leaving without another word. Her heart began to race after the door clicked shut as an unnerving fear settled in her stomach. What did he want?  
  
“I-I’m sorry I hit you,” she sputtered out, hoping that all he wanted was an apology. “It was rude of me.”  
  
He took a step towards her. “If I had known you would have done that, I wouldn’t have invited you. You have more guts than your pathetic boyfriend does.”  
  
“He’s done whatever you’ve asked. Please don’t take this out on him. It’s my fault, not his.”  
  
Taking another step in her direction, he said, “You’re right. It is _your_ fault for nearly ruining everything.”  
  
Moving back as he continued to come closer, she worriedly asked, “What do you mean?”  
  
“But I’m going to fix it.”  
  
Moving towards the corner of the room, her back was pressed against one of the bookshelves as he invaded her personal space. Taking her hand, he guided his icy fingers along her bare arm which filled her with disgust.  
  
“Don’t touch me,” she angrily said as she yanked her arm away.   
  
When she tried to step around him, he suddenly pressed his arm against the base of her neck and slammed her against a shelf. Pain shot across her back from the sharp edge of the wood behind her and tried to scream out, but was muffled as he pressed even harder around her throat. Struggling for air, she tried to claw and pull at his arm as he began to choke her, tears welled up in her eyes at the thought that this was how she was going to die.  
  
Determined to fight until her last breath, she struggled to reach behind her to blindly pull one out of the books out from its spot. Firmly gripping the edge, she threw it with all her strength into his face.

He instantly let go in pain as she dropped to the floor and coughed trying to catch her breath. Stumbling over her long dress, she picked herself back up and made a run towards the door, but he had pulled her suddenly backwards which caused her to fall.  
  
Spinning around to kick him away with her heel, he had climbed on top of her and used his weight to keep her in place. Trying to shove his face and arms away, nothing seemed to help push him back as his hands firmly settled at her throat once again.  
  
Feeling a hot tear roll down from the corner of her eye as her struggle against him began to weaken, she regretted so much not trusting Kakashi’s initial fear that something like this could happen if he didn’t keep playing Zokushi’s games. As her world began to turn black, what she regretted most of all was leaving Kakashi behind - just like everyone else who he had ever loved.  
  
Her heart broke at that final thought.  


* * *

  
  
Kakashi slowly followed after Ichiro down the hallway trying his best to fight back the flood of memories at the familiar halls he used to run through as a child. He couldn’t believe he was here right now. Seeing his parents' room only a few doors down the hall, there was a sudden pang within his chest.  
  
Glaring at his older cousin as he opened a door for them to enter, Kakashi stepped inside and tried to remind himself that all he wanted right now was to speak the truth. “I can only guess what your brother explained, but I want to tell you what’s been going on ever since I got here.”  
  
“Go ahead then,” Ichiro calmly replied.  
  
Starting with the blackmail and various threats Zokushi had done since the beginning, he briefly summarized about being forced to take the company’s CEO and President positions when he never wanted them in the first place. He explained he didn’t know why, but it’s what he wanted him to do for an uncertain amount of time.  
  
Ichiro sighed. “Yeah, well… that’s basically what my brother just said. So as much as I frankly hated you for being here since the start, you both seem to be telling the truth.”  
  
Confused, Kakashi replied, “He admitted it?”  
  
“Apparently his final task was for you to directly turn the company over to him and then quit. I am… well, I was supposed to take it from our late father. Everything changed when you came along thanks to the will. I was so upset by it I didn’t think he would have ever tampered with it… replacing my name with yours.”  
  
“Why didn’t he just use his own name and leave me out of it completely?” Kakashi asked.  
  
“I would have known since he’s always wanted the position for as long as I can remember growing up. Instead, I was blinded by my hate for you I guess. That was my mistake.” Ichiro took a deep breath, and then added, “What he did was desperate and stupid. While he apologized to me, I don’t think it can really make up for what’s already been done to you and your girlfriend. So on behalf of us both, I do apologize sincerely to you. I know words are meaningless at this point, but I wanted to say it anyway. He had no right to do that to either of us.”  
  
Kakashi had a hard time believing it, but wanted it to be true. Did Zokushi admit everything because he figured he was going to tell him anyway? Did he really just give up on everything after apparently going so far as killing his own father?  
  
At that thought, he said, “He told me that he killed your father… did he tell you that as well?”  
  
Furrowing his brows, he wore a puzzled expression. “No, he didn’t. He really told you that?”  
  
“Yes, he did,” Kakashi gravely responded.  
  
“He’s capable of a lot of things, but I can’t imagine that to be true. He probably just said that trying to scare you both.”  
  
“Is it really that far fetched granted what your father did to mine just for the sake of owning this stupid company?”  
  
Looking further troubled, he finally shook his head. “No… No, I guess not.”  
  
Thinking more about it, Kakashi had to wonder if that was all true as well. “Wait, Zokushi didn’t… also fake the confession that your father killed my parents… did he?”  
  
“I asked him that, too. He assured to me it’s real. It’s how my brother got the idea to change the will in the first place… I guess my father did feel at least some sort of regret. I suppose it makes sense he would have killed him to get the ball rolling on the will then, if what you say is true. Before I do anything rash with him though… I want to investigate it to be sure.”  
  
After a moment of silence, he continued, “I’m also guessing this wasn’t your idea to host the fundraiser here. He said it was your idea in wanting to throw a charity event in honor of your parents. We were going to donate to proceeds to whatever cause you wanted… and we can still do that, if you want to.”  
  
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Please tell me you’re joking…”  
  
“…No, I’m not. I did find it strange you’d want to come back here, but then again I didn’t care to ask out of my grudge against you.” He sighed and scratched the back of his short silver hair. “Well, I’m sorry about that as well then.”  
  
“…”  
  
Still stunned in disbelief, Kakashi felt strangely relieved beyond words at what felt like he’s been fighting this losing battle against his family for most of his life. He didn’t know if Ichiro truly gave a damn, but this was about as close to finding some kind of closure he was probably ever going to get.  
  
“Listen,” Ichiro began. “You both should go back to wherever home is. Leave tomorrow if you like. I’ll have my lawyers draw up some papers to release your title if that’s what you wish. You don’t have to give it to me though. We’ll just let the board decide.”  
  
“No,” he murmured. “And I think we both know it will be you regardless anyway. You can take it if you want. I really don’t care anymore as long as it’s not Zokushi.”  
  
“Alright then,” his older cousin agreed. “Let’s head back. You and your girlfriend can leave unless you’d like to stay for the party since that’s in your parents' honor anyway. I’m not trying to force you to stay.”  
  
“No… I definitely would like to go home.”  
  
“Then I’ll have Ishida get the car for you then.”  
  
Nodding as they both exited into the hallway, he placed his hands within his pockets as his mind was still reeling that just like that they were truly free to leave. He wouldn’t have ever guessed Ichiro to be sensible or forgiving. He had been sure most Hatakes in his family didn’t have a heart, but there wasn’t any need to be afraid anymore and they could just go back to their lives before this entire ridiculous thing ever started. The huge relief he felt was hard to describe in words, but most of all he couldn’t wait to tell Sakura that it was over.  
  
It was amazing after so much agony all it took was a few words to set things more or less how they should be. There would always be a deep-seeded hate for his family and a kind of pain that could never be erased, much like the scars on his back, but he could live with Ichiro taking the company over. No one could ever truly deserve the role besides his own father, but this just was how things were meant to be. As long as he could go on with his own life as he chose to do so, this was something he was willing to let go no matter if the company should truly be his or not. He sadly smiled slightly at wondering how different things would have been if his father was still alive today. He probably really would have taken over the company by his own free will if he had gained an interest in following his father’s footsteps. It was bizarre to think how much his life would have probably changed. Because of his uncle, he wanted nothing to do with the company which led him to becoming a teacher and meeting Sakura. He inwardly sighed. Perhaps things really do happen for a reason.  
  
Glancing up to find no guards standing outside the door, he immediately turned to Ichiro and said, “Where did your men go?”  
  
His older cousin seemed confused as well. “They shouldn’t have left, unless…”  
  
Everything was a blur as Kakashi rushed down the hall and burst through the door where they had last left Sakura and Zokushi. What he had found on the other side was his worst nightmare realized.  
  
Sakura’s face was flushed red as she lied motionless on the floor as Zokushi hovered over her with clenched hands at her throat. Fear and anger shot through his veins as he rushed forward and kicked him hard into a shelf which caused several books to fall on top of him from the impact.  
  
Kneeling down as he pulled Sakura limply into his arms, he shakily touched the side of her draining face and gently shook her finding no response. Choking out her name through cracked whispers over and over, he couldn’t stop the sudden tears blurring his vision. Never in his life had he ever felt so hurt and broken as he did now. Losing his parents was hard, but nothing could ever compare to losing the love of his life.  
  
“G-God, no…” he whimpered. “S-Sakura, please… please wake up.”  
  
Every silent second that passed felt like eternity as his chest began to heave with broken sobs. His throat burned and his eyes clenched in anguish. Dropping his head down into her neck as he placed her lifeless body back down on the floor, he inaudibly whispered, “P-Please… T-take me instead. Take me instead.”  
  
He repeated the last verse like a mantra as he quietly cried into her shoulder. Weakly picking himself up to see her face, he brushed back her bangs and froze when her green eyes slowly fluttered open. Everything around him grew still like he was viewing a dream through a frosted glass. He couldn’t move as his heart raced with fear that this wasn’t real.  
  
As her fingers worriedly cupped the side of his cheek, Sakura seemed perplexed. “Why are you crying?” she rasped before she coughed at a sudden pain within her throat. It was only then did she seem to remember what had happened as she traced her fingertips along her bruised neck. “Z-Zokushi.”  
  
“This is all very touching,” a low voice muttered behind him.  
  
Sharply turning back to find Zokushi wiping blood from his nose with his sleeve, Kakashi clenched his fists after he carefully let go of Sakura as she sat up from the floor.  
  
Ichiro barked out, “What the hell were you trying to do?”  
  
“Teaching her a lesson.”  
  
Kakashi stood up and punched him hard in the stomach as his cousin rose up to his feet. His lean frame hunched over as the wind was knocked out of him, but staggered forward to swing back. Easily deflecting with years of practiced martial arts experience, it was a one-sided fight as Kakashi seemed intent to beat him within an inch of his life.  
  
“K-Kakashi, stop,” Sakura pleaded, finding it hard to watch as blood sputtered from Zokushi’s mouth. “That’s enough!”  
  
Ichiro finally stepped in and managed to pull him back. “ _Kakashi_.”

Zokushi’s face was swollen and bruised as he huddled on wooden floor smeared with spots of his own blood. Ichiro knelt down beside his younger brother and sighed. “You always were foolish.”  
  
“I have half the mind to kill you,” Kakashi muttered with narrowed eyes.  
  
“Famous last words,” Zokushi whispered under his breath.  
  
“What did you say?” he shot back.  
  
“Enough,” Ichiro raised his voice. “Please… I think it’s best if you two go. I’ll deal with him. Ishida should be downstairs. Have him take you both back home.”  
  
Glancing to Sakura, Kakashi calmed down enough to return to her side and help her to her feet. “Are you okay enough to walk?” he asked in concern.  
  
She nodded. “I feel a little dizzy, but I think I’m okay.”  
  
Keeping an arm around her waist, they slowly walked downstairs into the large foyer that was still filled with lively music and casual chatter. Kakashi felt numb as they walked towards the front doors, ignoring the spectating stares around the room as they crossed the floor. Luckily finding Ishida nearby, he helped them outside before leaving to bring the car around.  
  
The cool night air felt good against Sakura’s skin, but feeling Kakashi’s arms around her felt even better. Holding her in an embrace, he gently hugged like he would never get the chance to again.  
  
“Are you sure you’re okay?” he whispered. “We should stop by the emergency room.”  
  
“I think I only passed out for a few seconds, but I’m feeling a lot better,” she replied. Glancing to his eyes which were still filled with worry, she added, “But… I-I don’t mind if we do if you want to... just to be safe.”  
  
“I’d very much like that.”

Nodding, she tried her best to offer him a smile. Remembering his earlier tears, she said, “I’m sorry I scared you.”  
  
Leaning down, he kissed her forehead, cheek and lips. “I’m so sorry I let you down. I shouldn’t have left you alone.”  
  
“You’ve never let me down, Kakashi,” she said softly. “Never.”  


* * *

  
  
By the time they made it back to the penthouse from the emergency room there were still a few hours left until dawn approached. During the car ride back they had decided that they would rather leave Osaka sooner rather than later. Stopping long enough to grab Sakura’s suitcase and what few things Kakashi personally had brought, they were next taken straight to the airport which was an hour away.  
  
Rolling their luggage with one hand and taking Sakura’s hand with the other, Kakashi couldn’t have cared less as other travelers curiously glanced at them as they passed by. Still wearing their formal attire, they were hard to miss in the sparse wandering early crowds. Once they arrived to the line for the ticket counter, an elder woman donned in a floral green dress in front of them did a double take as she noticed them fall in line behind her.  
  
“Oh,” she said with a cheeky smile. “You both look like you are running away together.”  
  
Kakashi lightly laughed, offering Sakura’s hand a tender squeeze. “I suppose you can say that’s true.”  
  
“How romantic!” she exclaimed in envy. “Eloping?”  
 **  
**Blushing, Sakura said, “N-No.”  
  
“No need to hide our love from the lady,” Kakashi continued to tease.  
  
Shooting him a glare, she quietly pinched his side in retaliation as her cheeks reddened even further.  
  
“You know you’re cute when you blush,” he whispered into her ear.  
  
“Shush, you.”

Buying seats on the first flight back to their hometown, Sakura was upset she still had to take her last finals this week before they could finally head back to his house in Tokyo. He didn’t care and told her just that. Making sure she finished her classes was always important to him either way. All he really wanted was to leave this city at her side and never look back.

As they waited in the lobby for their flight, Sakura drifted in and out of sleep against his shoulder. Still firmly intertwining her hand within his, all he could think about was how he almost lost her and how he never wanted to feel that pain ever again. Squeezing her hand, he never wanted to let her go. At least not until he was sure this wasn’t a cruel dream.  
  
The next couple of hours were a blur as they became beyond exhausted once they finally made it to the threshold of their traditional summer home. Kakashi was glad he decided long ago to keep renting it until the last few weeks of summer even after he had left for Osaka and had Sakura went to stay with Iruka’s family for the past week. Too tired to even change out of their clothes, they had fallen into the bed in each other’s arms before falling fast asleep.

Having an entire free day before she needed to go back to class on Monday, he intended to do absolutely nothing except spend whatever time he could with Sakura and help her study for her exams. There was nothing else he wanted more than just that.  
  
It was a little past noon before Kakashi’s eyes would open again, stirred awake by a loud pounding at the door. Rubbing his tired eyes, he glanced at the clock and let out a sleepy yawn. He still very much wanted to go back to sleep and attempted to, but the hard frequent knocks at the door with a muffled voice calling out was making it hard to do so.  
  
Sakura soon woke up and stared back at him in confusion at the noise. “Who could that be?” she tiredly asked.  
  
He let out a breathy sigh, reluctantly get out of bed. “I don’t know, but I intend to make sure they go away. I’ll be right back.”  
  
Brushing away some of the wrinkles on his tuxedo he had slept in, he sighed as he went downstairs to find out who seemed to find it necessary to bother him after coming back here only mere hours ago.  
  
Opening the door, he was alarmed at finding a couple of police officers standing on the other side. Glancing at the police car in the driveway, his face drained at wondering what the hell was going on.  
  
“Are you Hatake Kakashi?” one of the officers asked.  
  
“…Yes.”  
  
One of the men immediately took his hand and placed a handcuff around his wrist, pulling his other arm behind his back before adding another cuff.  
  
Another officer said, “Hatake Kakashi, you are hereby under arrest on suspicion of murder.”  
  
His mouth fell open in complete disbelief. “ _What?_ ”

“You have the right to remain silent,” the officer continued. “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?”

His knees felt weak. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. If this really was a dream after all, he really wanted to wake up right now.  
  
”Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?” the man impatiently repeated.  
  
 _Wake up._  
  
“…Yes,” he absentmindedly responded.  
  
“With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”  
  
 _Wake up. Wake up.  
  
_ “…”  
  
“Do you wish to speak with me?” the man repeated once more.  
  
“The murder of who…?” he weakly asked.  
  
“Hatake Ichiro.”  
  
He felt like he was going to be sick.  
  
 _Wake up. Wake up. Wake up…_  
  
As he was being taken away, he looked back to see Sakura suddenly appear in the doorway. “Kakashi?” she cried out. “What… what’s going on?” she asked as she ran out after them.  
  
Placed inside the squad car, he watched as she burst into tears as one of the officers briefly spoke to her. The dreams he had of spending the rest of the day, or even the rest of his life, with her were gone just like that.  
  
This truly was a never ending nightmare.  
  
 _TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise you I’ve had this planned since before I started writing this story, but I sure do feel evil. t_t
> 
> This is probably the quickest in a long time I’ve managed to write a chapter and it’s very much thanks to everyone’s comments and encouragement, so thank you for that! I’ll keep trying my best to keep it going til the end.
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo)


	49. Can't Undo the Past

**Chapter 49: Can’t Undo the Past**

 

“K-Kakashi,” Sakura choked out, watching in disbelief as the police cars drove away with him inside.  
  
Dropping to the ground, she weakly clenched her hands against her crimson dress as she felt another wave of tears steam down her cheeks. Shutting her eyes tightly as she let out a broken sob, all she wanted was to wake up from this nightmare. This didn’t seem real. How could Kakashi be charged with murder? After everything they had just been through, there was no doubt in her mind that it was all no thanks to Zokushi. She just wished she could understand how or why any of this could be possible.  
  
At that thought, she wiped her tears and tried to calm down. They had both seen Ichiro alive before they left Osaka. Not only that, but she and everyone else who saw them at the party could testify to the police that this was a huge mistake. There would be surveillance at the airport to show that they were together the entire time during Ichiro’s murder which had to have happened after they left. That was something that couldn’t be denied, but what if it wasn’t that simple to explain? They couldn’t have just arrested him without any evidence.

Fear and worry clenched her heart once more at the reality that he was going to be put on trial for murder. What if they somehow couldn’t prove he was innocent? Would he be locked away in prison for the rest of his life… or worse, be sent to death? Her throat burned and her chest ached as silent tears formed once more. It was true that most people who were arrested were convicted in Japan, and that fact worried her all the more.  
  
Sakura wasn’t sure how long she stayed knelt into the grass before realizing her shoulders were starting to burn from the hot noon sun above. Wiping her face with her hands, she weakly stood up and stumbled to the front steps in a daze. Stepping inside the empty home, she closed the door behind her with a click that echoed throughout the silent entryway. Feeling exhausted and drained, she walked towards the stairs and slowly climbed the steps which creaked under the weight of her bare feet. Pausing in the doorway of the bedroom, her eyes settled at the pulled sheets from Kakashi’s empty side of the bed. Taking in a shuddered breath, the pain inside her heart ached even more.  
  
Her fingers finally slipped away from the door’s frame as she walked over and collapsed into the bed. Staring at his pillow, her chest began to hurt so much that it was becoming hard to breathe. Wringing her hands against the crumpled sheets, she felt such despair and loss not knowing what to do. Would Kakashi be okay? When could she see him again? When could he come back home? _Would_ he ever come back home?  
  
It wasn’t long before she managed to cry herself to sleep.

* * *

 

Once the car had stopped, Kakashi was escorted into the back entrance of a small police station. There were sounds of voices around him explaining where they were going and the rules he were to adhere to, but he didn’t hear one word of it as they stepped through the buzzing office. His mind was blank, still in shock how any of this was really happening as he followed the officer in front of him. Several policemen and detectives watched him pass by their desks with interest as he was taken into a small processing room.  
  
After being checked and emptied for any items within his pockets, Kakashi was seated at a small desk with an older man sitting on the other side. The man gave a peculiar look at Kakashi’s crumpled tuxedo he was still wearing from last night, then opened up a file and thumbed through the several pages inside.  
  
“Please state your name, address and date of birth,” the man asked.  
  
Kakashi’s throat felt dry as he struggled to answer. After responding to a few more personal questions about his identity, he was pulled into another room where this time an officer temporarily un-cuffed him from the back and he was given a prison uniform.  
  
“Hurry up and change,” the impatient officer spat, idly tapping his nightstick within his hands. “I don’t have all day.”

Kakashi clenched his fingers against the orange folded cotton material. Glancing to the officer who once again told him to hurry, he slowly turned around to face the brick wall trying not to feel humiliated from being watched as he did so. Dropping his new clothes temporarily on a metal bench, he shrugged off his tuxedo jacket and everything else until he donned his new uniform.

He felt numb as the handcuffs were placed back around his wrists. Being told to wait, he stood still and stared down at his hands as reality was starting to sink in that this wasn’t a dream. His thoughts shifted to Sakura. Was she still back at the house? Fear ran through his veins knowing that she was all alone. His cousin killed his own father, now his own brother. She was in grave danger especially after what had happened last night. Right now he feared more for her life than his. His heartbeat increased as he began to feel sick with worry.

When an officer told him to step forward into the hallway, Kakashi quickly asked, “Can I make a phone call?”

“You’re not allowed.”

“What about an attorney?”

“The police will contact one on your behalf once you’ve been transferred.”   
  
“Transferred?”

The officer sighed, pushing him to move forward after a moment. “To Osaka’s police jurisdiction. Now stop talking and walk.”  
  
Following the orders to move, Kakashi was taken to a small check in station where an officer forcefully dipped each of his fingers in black ink, printing each digit on a white paper document.  
  
Once they were finished, he was escorted into another area which was equipped with a digital camera and a large backdrop against the wall that was marked with varying heights. He inwardly sighed as he was given a small black board with his name to hold up. An officer instructed him to stand up straight and look towards the camera. He flinched as the flash sounded and was asked to stand still once more for another photograph before turning to face right and left for the next few pictures.  
  
Everything around him felt like it was happening too fast as he was ushered from one room into another. By the time he was placed inside a small holding room to be transported once more, he didn’t realize where he was until he noticed the heavy silence.  
  
Glancing down at the handcuffs around his wrists, he tightened his fists as he brought his hands to his forehead and let out a breath. What the hell was happening? He had left Osaka with the intention to never return and finally move on with his life. Now the only person who was going to make things right was dead. No one else had any power over Zokushi like his older brother did. What did this mean for the company? What did his cousin hope to accomplish besides taking it over and accusing him for his brother’s murder? Was Sakura safe? Even if he did manage to get out of this… would they ever be safe again?  
  
An hour passed before he was finally escorted to a waiting van staffed with several guards. Once inside, he leaned his back against the metal wall of the vehicle. There was little light to see beyond the barred windows of the doors. After fighting so hard to leave Osaka for once and for all, now he was returning to the city less than a day later in what felt like a cruel joke.

Drifting in and out of sleep during the entire trip, he felt thoroughly exhausted by the time they arrived in Osaka. The sun had settled into the horizon once he found himself in front of yet another police station, but this time it was quite a large foreboding structure several stories high. As he was pulled out of the vehicle, flashes of cameras were there to mark his arrival with an onslaught of questions from dozens of news reporters. Anyone who didn’t know he was arrested for murder certainly did now. Keeping his head down in silence, guards pushed back the press to escort him inside.

After being processed, he was quickly taken into a small room and told to sit without any explanation. Staring down at the worn wooden table before him, he rubbed his fingers against his burning eyes as he heard a large metal door creak open. A lone man with a stern look entered carrying a file, taking a seat across from him.  
  
“My name is Detective Miyazaki,” the man stated, opening the folder in his hands before taking out a piece of paper. Sliding it across, he plucked a pen from his jacket pocket and placed it front of Kakashi. “Look, I’m going to make this really simple. You’re not leaving this room until you sign a confession to the murder of Hatake Ichiro one way or another.”

Kakashi glance down at the paper in disbelief. “I’m not signing a damn thing when I’m innocent,” he spat.

Miyazaki scoffed. “It’s amazing how many times I’ve heard that line.”

Taking in a calming breath, he replied, “If you want to find the real murderer, his name is Hatake Zokushi.”

“And why should I believe that?”

Kakashi paused, wondering how much good it would really do telling the entire truth. He didn’t have any proof that Zokushi did take his own father’s life or the threats against him, but he could at least tell the detective how he ended up here. If anything, maybe they can find some kind of merit in his claims and investigate Zokushi. Taking in another deep breath to calm his nerves, he went on to explain how he ever became involved in the company under his cousin’s constant threats. Detailing exactly what happened last night at the fundraiser where Ichiro was alive and well at the time before they had left.

The detective folded his arms. “Fascinating story, really, but I find it hard to believe your cousin is capable of anything being in the hospital right now. We were lucky he was even able to identify you from how badly beaten he was.”

Kakashi furrowed his brows at that information. “I’m telling you the truth.”  
  
“And what proof?”  
  
“…”

“That’s what I thought. Let me spell this out for you then,” the detective evenly said. Opening the folder once more, he pulled out several pictures and placed them against the table.

Most were photographs of Ichiro’s body, surrounded in a pool of blood. The others were of Zokushi who appeared severely battered. It was well beyond what had Kakashi ever done. Perhaps Ichiro had done this to his younger brother in defense as he fought for his life.

Glancing away, Kakashi shook his head. “I didn’t do any of this.”

“We have plenty of witnesses confirming you were fighting with Zokushi just before you left.” Pointing out a picture of a gun, the detective tapped the photograph. “Your fingerprints are all over this weapon. Trying to deny your involvement is just foolish at this point.”

His heart froze as he looked at the photograph. “I’ve never touched anything like that in my life. That’s impossible.”

“Evidence doesn’t lie. Frankly, it doesn’t matter what you say. You and I both know you’re guilty,” Miyazaki said with conviction.

“I am _not_ ,” Kakashi replied, feeling his heart begin to race as he glanced at the photograph of the gun. It just didn’t make any sense. The detective had to have been lying in trying to get him to sign the confession. He had never touched a gun in his life, but if it was true that his fingerprints were on it… then he was being framed.

Leaning back in his chair, Miyazaki continued, “Let me tell you the short version of what I think happened. You murdered Ichiro and left Zokushi for dead. You left straight from the party to the airport, trying to flee the scene of the crime.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Why else would you leave Osaka in such a hurry? Were you planning to leave outside of the country next?”

Glaring, Kakashi griped out a resounding, “No, I simply went home. If I wanted to run, I’d go anywhere but there, wouldn’t you think?”  
  
“It’s not far fetched for you to gather your things and prepare to disappear for good. You wanted revenge for your parents' deaths and you wanted to take down the corporation who had originally cut you out of your share.”

“I never wanted it. That’s-”

“-Let me finish,” he interrupted. Taking out more records from the file, he slapped down several inventory receipts. “You stole money straight out of the company’s funds and made several large purchases on behalf of the corporation for yourself. A 1.6 billion Yen penthouse stocked with designer clothes that were worth about 50 million Yen.”

“I didn’t make any of those purchases,” Kakashi defended. “Zokushi did.”

“It’s your name here in black and white, not his,” he pointed out, tapping the paper in annoyance. “Either way, you are going to jail. That’s a promise. You either sign the confession _now_ , or we _make you_ sign the confession. Your choice.”

Silence fell over the room as Kakashi stared down at the papers before him. He could feel the color drain from his cheeks as he examined the documents with his name attached to everything. Was this Zokushi’s plan all along? To frame him for Ichiro’s death?

“I want an attorney,” Kakashi calmly stated.

“When we’re done here,” Miyazaki cryptically replied, standing up to leave before adding, “It’s going to be awhile.”

As the detective left an officer entered in his place. At first Kakashi thought he was there to guard him until the man approached to where he was sitting. Without any warning, he yanked him up from the chair by his prison shirt before punching him hard in the stomach.

* * *

 

“ _Sakura… Sakura wake up.”_

Feeling a gentle hand shake her shoulder, she groggily opened her green eyes to find a man leaning over and staring back at her. Startled, she jumped back with a yelp before realizing who it was.  
  
“Sakura, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you,” Iruka sadly murmured with his hands up in defense. “There was no answer and the door was unlocked, so I was afraid something had happened to you.”  
  
Sitting up from the bed, she took in a deep breath and placed a hand against her chest to settle her racing heart. “Oh, no I’m sorry, Iruka. I didn’t realize… I… It’s okay, I’m okay,” she assured.  
  
Iruka glanced at her as worry further creased along his brow. “What… happened to your neck?”  
  
Brushing her fingers across her throat, she winced as she felt a tender pain rise against the touch. She had nearly forgotten. “I-It… happened last night.”  
  
“By whom?”

With a confused stare, she wasn’t sure if he knew what was going on. “Z-Zokushi… he’s Kakashi’s cousin.”  
  
Glancing away at her reply, he seemed at a loss of what to say next. Crossing his arms against his chest, he took in a deep breath until he seemed to steel his resolve at his next words. “Is that the truth?”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Because I have to ask, Sakura.”  
  
Hurt washed across her face. “Because you think Kakashi would do this?”  
  
He sighed. “No, I don’t, but... I don’t know what to believe right now. I just saw the news tonight about Kakashi being arrested for murder and knew you had gone to visit him this weekend. I tried calling you, but I wasn’t sure if I would find you back here or not. I’m glad I did. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Sakura… what happened?”  
  
“It’s a long story…”  
  
“Well, I want to listen. If you and Kakashi are in trouble then I want to do everything I can to help if it’s possible,” he sincerely replied. “Sakura, please… tell me the truth. I want you to trust me. I don’t know if I have the answers to help you, but I’ll find a way. We can figure this out.”  
  
She could tell that he really meant it. Pulling herself up to the edge of the bed, she rubbed away her tear stained cheeks. “I don’t know where to even begin…”  
  
“That’s alright,” he softly encouraged. “Take your time.”  
  
Nodding, she watched as he carefully sat beside her at the foot of the bed, keeping at a distance as if he might scare her off like a rabbit in a forest and change her mind. Running her fingers back against her fallen hair, she realized she probably looked like a big mess right now. Swallowing down the lump in her throat, she turned towards him and started from the beginning.  
  
The features in his face didn’t change as he intently listened, occasionally staring down at his hands intertwined between his knees. When she was finished, he let out a small breath he had been holding.  
  
“Sakura,” He paused, glancing to her eyes in concern. “First, are you really alright? Should you go to the doctor?”  
  
“We went before we had come here. I’m okay, I promise,” Sakura replied.  
  
Pressing his hands against his thin lips, he sighed. “Why didn’t either of you say something about what was going on? I can’t believe Kakashi never told me this before he left to Osaka.”  
  
“I wanted to tell you, to tell someone, but I was afraid of what Zokushi might do if he had found out after explicitly saying not to.” With a weak shrug, she added, “I don’t know, after we came back from France and found out what he had done, Kakashi was worried about his threats as well and didn’t want to risk it.”  
  
“I see,” he solemnly replied.   
  
“Even if we did tell the police or anyone else, who’s going to believe us?”  
  
“I believe you, Sakura.”  
  
Hearing those few words removed a small pressing weight from her chest as if things really would somehow be alright. Forcing her lips together into a small frown, she tried her best to fight back the urge to cry even more today. She didn’t think she could manage anymore tears, and crying wasn’t going to help bring Kakashi home.  
  
“T-Thanks,” she replied as her voice cracked.  
  
After a moment of silence, Iruka suggested, “Let’s head back to my home. You shouldn’t be dealing with this on your own. My wife and baby girl are worried about you, too.”  
  
She smiled slightly, remembering that she promised Iruka’s daughter Kumiko that she would be right back to play with her after what she had originally planned of just visiting Kakashi for the weekend. While she hated to keep burdening his family with her staying, she knew she would feel a little easier if she did. “Alright… let me gather some things and change real quick.”  
  
“Sure, I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready.”  
  
“Thanks, Iruka. I really do appreciate it.”  
  
“It’s not a problem, you’re always welcome,” he warmly replied. Sitting up from the bed, he nodded before exiting towards the stairs out into the hallway.  
  
Sakura let out a long sigh as she pushed herself up, picking up the ends of her dress as she walked to the door. After shutting it, she changed out of her formal wear and into a comfortable over-sized t-shirt and jeans from the closet.  
  
Remembering that her suitcase was still downstairs from her trip, she pulled out a few more clothes she never had the chance to bring over to Iruka’s while she was staying at his place when Kakashi had been away. Once she was ready, she went downstairs to find Iruka waiting in the kitchen. Pulling out her bag that was by the door, she quickly unzipped it to tuck her newfound clothes inside, but paused from seeing a few paper notes sticking out. She sighed at recalling she had her finals this week starting first thing tomorrow. She wasn’t prepared at all.  
  
Sakura wasn’t sure how she was going to manage trying to take tests and actually expect to pass with Kakashi’s uncertain fate weighing on her mind. It was hard to care about anything else right now. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do to have him back in her arms again. She just hoped it would be soon.  


* * *

 

Kakashi struggled to stay awake as he stared blankly at one of the bare white walls around him. The hum of the bright florescent lights above him flickered on occasion, breaking him in and out of his trance. There were no windows except for the small one at the door which barely showed into the hallway. He had long lost count of the hours he had been held inside this room since he had gotten here. He felt tired and broken in more ways than one, but he was managing and that’s all he was capable of doing right now. He just needed to hold out a little longer.

Shifting his gaze at the paper before him, it didn’t take long to realize that no one here was ever on his side to begin with. Telling the truth didn’t matter. Everyone believed he was a murderer. He was guilty the moment he was arrested and they made that very clear after trying to repeatedly beat him into signing the confession, making sure to avoid his face. Anything that his prison uniform did cover, they beat until they tired themselves out doing so.  
  
The pain didn’t matter. Every breath he took in ached against his ribs and his entire body felt like it was on fire. Their constant threats and hours of interrogation didn’t break him as much as they hoped for. After awhile, he stopped talking all together which only made them even more brutal in their tactics before finally taking a break. Little did they know he’d experienced far worse things with his uncle as a child. He supposed he almost had to thank him for the years of emotional and physical abuse until he finally left to be out on his own. Otherwise he might have signed the confession by now despite his innocence.  
  
His eyes grew heavy for a moment, finding himself back in his home in Tokyo. Everything around him felt surreal as he ran down the steps into the living room. Sakura was there sitting on the couch doing schoolwork, glancing up to him with a warm bright smile. He missed seeing that smile.  
  
Feeling a light slap across his face, he woke up to find two detectives sitting across from him. Narrowing his eyes at Miyazaki, the man seemed pleased at something. How long were they going to keep this charade up?  
  
“New evidence has came to light which I thought we should share with you,” Miyazaki spoke up. “We’re currently gathering another arrest warrant for your girlfriend, Haruno Sakura.”  
  
His heart dropped. “…What?”  
  
“Witnesses also said she had some heated words with Zokushi at the party, and then all of you, including Ichiro went up stairs. Only two of you left that night, you and Sakura. Obviously she’s an accomplice to your crime, is she not?”  
  
He felt sick. “…You can’t be serious.”  
  
“Your fingerprints may be on the weapon, but doesn’t make her any less innocent in the involvement of Ichiro’s murder,” the other detective said. “Unless of course you want confess that you are entirely responsible.”  
  
“If that’s the case, then I don’t see any reason why we need another arrest warrant, do you?” Miyazaki added.  
  
Anger welled up inside as Kakashi glared at them both. He didn’t want to believe their bullshit, but at the same time it may be true. Staring down at the paper, he glanced at the pen beside it thinking how much he didn’t want to risk the chance. Sakura had already suffered enough simply being with him. If she was dragged into the trial and prosecuted for it, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. Her entire life would be gone forever before it had hardly even begun.  
  
Signing a confession was like signing his own death warrant. He knew what this all meant. Was there even a chance of him being declared innocent at all even if he didn’t sign it? Against Zokushi, he felt like he was fighting a losing battle ever since the beginning. The police still hadn’t let him speak with anyone, not even an attorney. Even if he did talk to one, he already knew what they would say. There was no hope to come out of this on the winning side of things. It just wasn’t possible.  
  
“Do you want her to sit in prison with you, or not?” Miyazaki frankly asked.  
  
The words were stuck in the back of his throat that no, he didn’t. Whatever little hope he was holding out for just wasn’t there anymore. Deep down in his heart he knew he was never going to see her again. At least not how he wanted to through prison bars. This was his new reality, and the sooner he accepted it the better.

Reaching for the pen, he fingers shakily grasped it as he pulled the confession statement forward. His life was gone the moment he agreed to become part of the company. He should have known Zokushi was up to more than he let on since the start. He knew his cousin murdered his own father and still did nothing. Kakashi had done this to himself and now he had the choice of either ending it quickly or making it all the more agonizing for everyone else involved in his life.  
  
This was the road to the end and there was no escape from it. Not from Zokushi, not from his family. He was never meant to find happiness no matter how hard he tried. He was never meant to love or live out the life how he wanted to. For a long time he had been fooling himself and he knew it. Things were always too good to be true. He just didn’t want to believe it until now.  
  
His vision blurred as he hovered the pen over the paper at remembering Sakura’s smiling face in his dream. As he wrote his statement and signed his name, he shoved the paper back at the detectives.  
  
Burying his face into his hands, he quietly held back a sob from the pain within that hurt far worse than any cut could. He regretted ever being born. He regretted ever meeting Sakura and ever falling in love.  
  
He regretted breaking her heart.  
  
_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throwing a notice that there is a difference between Japan and US criminal procedures, so what I’m doing may not be accurate or even a mix including future chapters.
> 
> I’m making a guess, but it’s looking like the story will finally be done in the next 3-4 chapters from what I have in plan at the moment. So close, yet so far away. It would be great to end it next chapter on such a nice pretty number like 50, but alas.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and being apart of this crazy three year old over the top story haha. No really. *gives cookies*
> 
> Chapter edited by: [Denilmo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/denilmo/pseuds/denilmo/works)


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